Take a Letter, Mr. Jones (1981) - S01E01 - The Interview
Transcript
00:00Take a left turn, Mr Jones, ignore the telephone You're a model, secretary, you don't leave
00:28me in a mess I get my satisfaction sharing your success
00:34Take a left turn, Mr Jones, feel the bathtub, Mr Jones
00:38You have my appreciation, you always save my life
00:41I'm a perfect combination, a computer and a wife
00:45You're a wonder, you're a model, you're a treasure, Mr Jones
00:53End of left turn, Mr Jones
00:57Good morning, girls. Morning, Mrs Warner.
00:59Good morning, Graham. Morning, Mrs Warner.
01:02Is that the memo for the sales course? Yes.
01:05Would you write the target figures in capital letters, please, and underline them in red?
01:09Yes, I'll send out a couple of Valium tablets with each copy.
01:12No need to be facetious. Can we do a diary check, please?
01:15In a minute, yeah. Here it is.
01:18Oh, Daisy, I wish you wouldn't.
01:22Right. Ten o'clock, we've got a meeting with the managing director, Mr Lewis,
01:27and at 12.30, you're taking your daughter to the dentist.
01:29Oh, yes, little Lucy's been going on at me about it since this morning.
01:32She always likes me to take her. Oh, what about that reporter chap?
01:35Oh, yes, Robin Hayes, two o'clock.
01:37He'll be trying for his usual chauvinistic angle.
01:39Can a woman be a successful top business executive?
01:42He did one last week about a woman who's just become a commercial airline pilot.
01:45As if that was so extraordinary. Which is rather unusual.
01:48Oh, I don't see why. I'm sure if I set my mind to it,
01:51I could fly a jumbo jet across the Atlantic and land it safely.
01:54I don't know so much. I remember the other day watching you
01:57taking 20 minutes to reverse your car into that space in the car park.
02:00Great. A jumbo jet does not fly in reverse.
02:03No, but you haven't flown one yet, have you?
02:05Now, listen, this Hayes chap is really going to try and trip me up.
02:08Ah, well, don't worry. I've done a few notes, a brief synopsis of your life and career.
02:12Here we are. One for you. Thank you. I'll give it to him.
02:15That'll make sure that everything he prints is accurate.
02:18Now, then, Mrs Joan Victoria Warner, born in Guildford in 1914...
02:23Yes, I don't think he'll be interested in dates.
02:26Can we alter that to in her 30s?
02:29Can I make it early 30s? I don't know. Do you think so?
02:32Well, if we pull the blinds down and switch the lights out, we can make it late 20s.
02:36No, just make it in her 30s. Her 30s.
02:39Right. Mrs Warner had an amicable divorce.
02:42Well, accurately speaking, he was a chauvinist pig.
02:45So's this reporter. Yes, you're right as usual.
02:48I'm going to have to impress on him that I'm a successful business executive
02:51and that I have a reputation for making split-second decisions.
02:54Yes? Mrs Warner, Daisy's making some coffee. Would you like a cup?
02:58No, thanks, Brenda. On second thoughts, yes, I will have one.
03:02Black or white?
03:04Well, I prefer it black, really. I should have it white, less stress-making.
03:08White, then? No, black.
03:10Biscuits? No, thanks.
03:12Oh, yes, I will have just one.
03:14Oh, no, maybe make it two.
03:16Now, where was I?
03:18I doubt your ability as a split-second decision-maker.
03:21Except when it comes to ordering coffee and biscuits.
03:24Graham, deciding whether to have coffee with or without biscuits
03:27is hardly a top-level decision.
03:29It is if you like me. If I don't have a biscuit with my coffee,
03:32I get terrible heartburn.
03:34Oh, Mr Jones, I hope Mrs Warner likes these biscuits.
03:37We've got two different kinds, so I've given her one of each
03:39and she can choose which one she likes.
03:41No, no, no, that won't do. That's forcing her to make another executive decision.
03:45I've solved it.
03:47Look at you two and smarten yourself up.
03:49Look at all the mess in here. We've got a reporter coming today.
03:52A reporter? Oh, I wish I'd known. I've got a ladder in me tights.
03:56It doesn't show. No, but it might go down lower.
03:59Well, it could hardly go any higher.
04:01I know. I've got some of that new 60-second glue on it.
04:04It's great. Daisy's got some in her desk here.
04:07Aha, here it is.
04:09All right, it's well better than nail varnish.
04:11You've got to be careful with that glue.
04:13Otherwise you might stick your tights to your skin.
04:15Isn't that right, Mr Jones? It's not a problem. I've come across.
04:18Yes, I've read it in the papers. You might not be able to get them off.
04:21Hear that, Brenda? Don't tell your mother.
04:23She'll make you put some on every time you go out with a chap.
04:26You're not supposed to be using that. It's company property.
04:29Oh, well, I don't see why I shouldn't use it.
04:32Me tights got landed in Mr Doran's office last night when I was doing overtime.
04:36Yes, and I think he should get the company to buy her a new pair.
04:39Might be cheaper to get him to cut his fingernails.
04:43Graham Jones?
04:44Just a moment.
04:48Yes?
04:49It's Robin Hayes for you.
04:51Oh, thank you, Graham.
04:53Right, now then, let's have a look at what you've done.
04:55Yes, it is looking a bit better. Come on, the other side now.
04:58Come on, shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo.
05:00Do you think Mrs Warner's going to bother him with you?
05:02Bosses never give their secretaries any credit when they're being interviewed.
05:05Yes, she's right. You know, all the things I've done for Mr Doran,
05:08he never says anything to anybody.
05:10Especially his wife.
05:12But, you know, they're all the same.
05:14You can't go into any boss's office these days without getting your bottom pinched.
05:17I will have you know, Mrs Warner does not pinch my bottom.
05:20Do be careful with my cactus. It's very delicate.
05:22Oh, revolting, ugly thing. It's all long and thin and prickly.
05:26I don't know why you bother to keep it.
05:28Because it reminds me of you.
05:32Coming, Mrs Warner.
05:33Right, girls, back to work. Brenda, take that to the copying machine.
05:36I want 30 copies, please.
05:38Yes, of course, Mr Hayes. That'll be fine.
05:40I'll see you then. Goodbye.
05:43She's coming at 12 instead of at 2.
05:45Are you taking your daughter to the dentist?
05:47Yes, I know. But he said that if he can get the article into the editor earlier,
05:50we'll get a bigger spread and pictures. So I couldn't refuse.
05:53Maria will just have to take Lucy.
05:55Maria? Is that wise?
05:57I mean, she may be a very good maid, but she's Italian.
05:59She's extremely highly strung.
06:00Yes, I know. I'll ring her and tell her to take a taxi both ways.
06:03It should be OK.
06:04Oh, by the way, I've made some more alterations.
06:07Joan, I'm holding my meeting in the Red Room.
06:09Now, you are coming, aren't you? We've got to discuss a new budget proposal.
06:12Yes, of course, Mr Lewis.
06:13Well, as soon as you're ready. Morning, Graham.
06:15Morning, sir.
06:16Right, I'll have to leave you to make the phone call to Maria.
06:18Now, you know all the details. Her appointment is with Mr Bailey.
06:21You know, I recommended you to him.
06:23Yes, I always go to Mr Bailey.
06:25Now, I must go. Can't keep the managing director waiting.
06:28Thank you. You will make that phone call to Maria straight away, won't you?
06:31I will make that phone call to Maria straight away.
06:34La, la, la.
06:36La, la, la.
06:39La, la, la.
06:43La, la, la.
06:44Momentum, peccatore.
06:48Cannone.
06:53Pronto pronto. Easy, easy.
06:55Oh, hello, Maria. This is Graham Jones.
06:57Mrs Warner asked me to phone.
06:59She is not here. To ring her, please, at the office. Thank you.
07:06This isn't going to be easy.
07:12I can almost smell the garlic.
07:17Pronto, pronto, is it?
07:19It's Graham Jones again.
07:21Mrs Warner would like you to go with Lucy to the dentist.
07:24But I don't need to go to the dentist. I have very good teeth.
07:28No, no, no, you don't understand. No, no, no.
07:30Mrs Warner would like you to take Lucy to the dentist.
07:33What about my cooking, eh? I'm making the pie for dinner.
07:37Look!
07:41Lucy, very nice, dearie.
07:45You'll have to do that later.
07:46Later? Later.
07:48Fancy sort of a scab.
07:49I have many things to do, which Mrs Warner has written down, eh?
07:54I show you. Look.
07:56I can't read it without my glasses.
07:58OK, so, I'll read it to you.
08:01Maria, Maria, I'd rather you didn't, if you don't mind.
08:04OK, OK. Is Lucy there?
08:06Si, Lucy, she play with Felix.
08:11Now, Maria, as soon as the taxi arrives,
08:13you get Lucy into it and you take her to the dentist.
08:16Do you understand? I thought that meeting would never end.
08:19It's nearly 12 o'clock. That reporter will be here soon.
08:21Yes, I know. I'm just going to get myself freshened up a bit.
08:24I bought a few things from home to make myself look a bit more respectable.
08:27Could you sort out these files, please?
08:29And make sure the office is clean and tidy.
08:31Top executives' office should always be clean and free from clutter.
08:34And in... Oh, and I think I'll put away that photograph of Lucy.
08:37I don't want to appear too maternal.
08:41I don't think I'll put out this one of me at the opening of the Durham factory.
08:44Much more impressive. I look quite good in that one.
08:47Yes, it was taken ten years ago.
08:49You know, I don't think you'll ever understand
08:51why male executives insist on having photographs of their wives and children
08:54laid out on their desks.
08:56I know lots of male executives who prefer to have their secretaries laid out on their desks.
09:00I'm afraid we're going to need some flowers.
09:02I'll pop round to the cemetery.
09:05Mrs Warner, Robin Hayes is down at reception.
09:07Shall I tell him to send him up?
09:09No, send Brenda down and tell her to bring him up in a couple of minutes.
09:17Oh, you've changed. That was quick.
09:19Oh, yes. I've worked out that if I have to,
09:21I can get dressed in the office in two minutes flat.
09:23I shouldn't tell Robin Hayes that. He might think that's how you got the job.
09:26I'm just trying to make a point.
09:28Although I'm a successful business executive, I can still be a woman.
09:31That dress definitely makes the point that you're a woman.
09:36It definitely makes the point.
09:38Graham, good publicity is a very important part of our business.
09:42And it's good for the management to create the right image.
09:46Could you sit in that chair, please?
09:48He's quite a tall man, I believe.
09:50I don't want him looking down at me.
09:52Psychologically, it's better if he has to look up at me.
09:54Could you turn the lever and let it down a bit?
10:01Is that low enough, or shall I put a cushion on the floor?
10:05Now, how do I look to you from there?
10:07Well, I can see a lot of your legs and not much of your face.
10:10Well, you'd better let it... Mrs Warner, Mr Hayes to see you.
10:13Thank you very much.
10:15Mr Hayes. Mrs Warner.
10:17I'm so sorry to keep you waiting.
10:19We had a few minor problems to sort out.
10:22Won't you sit down?
10:25If you don't mind, I don't like sitting so low. It's bad for my back.
10:28I'll use this one over here if it's all the same with you.
10:31Oh, certainly.
10:33This is Graham Jones, my personal secretary.
10:36How do you do? A woman executive with a male secretary.
10:39I'll make a note of that. It's quite unusual.
10:41Oh, I don't see why. In this day and age, there's no longer any sex discrimination.
10:45I was chosen for this job from amongst ten men.
10:47Mrs Warner chose me to be her secretary from amongst sixteen girls.
10:53Can I offer you a drink?
10:54Mrs Warner.
10:55Oh, vodka and tonic, please, Graham.
10:57And a Perrier water, please.
11:02The angle I want to bring out in my article, Mrs Warner,
11:04is whether a top woman executive such as yourself can really do the job as well as a man.
11:08A lot of the public really aren't convinced, you know.
11:11I think that's an area we could discuss better over lunch, Mr Hayes.
11:14Fine, fine. Well, where would you like to go?
11:17I think the company table at the Savoy, don't you?
11:20Yes.
11:21Thank you, Graham. Would you see to the details, please?
11:23Certainly.
11:24You see, it's this one aspect of your job that really intrigues me, Mrs Warner.
11:28I don't see how you can combine the jobs of executive, housewife, mother.
11:33It's just a question of organisation, Mr Hayes.
11:36I keep my domestic life entirely separate from my work.
11:39And I never, ever allow it to intrude into the office.
11:44Maria, what are you doing here?
11:45I must see Mrs Warner.
11:46No, no, no. You can't go in there. It's impossible.
11:48I must see her.
11:49You can't see her now. Where's Lucy? Did you leave her at the dentist?
11:52Lucy? She wouldn't even get out of the taxi to go to the dentist.
11:55I'm going to meet Lucy.
11:56But I wasn't here then. I was...
11:58Keep your voice down. Where is Lucy?
12:00Lucy. Lucy!
12:07Hello, Lucy. Have you been a naughty girl?
12:11What's that dog doing here?
12:13What else has she got outside?
12:15She don't go out of the house unless I bring him weed.
12:17So I do right, yes?
12:19You couldn't have timed it better.
12:21Brenda, sit her down.
12:22Daisy, look after Lucy.
12:24Make them a cup of coffee.
12:25Please, keep your voices down.
12:27Mrs Warner, I must see her.
12:29I'll tell Mrs Warner.
12:30Come on, sit down.
12:31From 8.30 in the morning when I leave the house until 7pm when I return...
12:35Mrs Warner?
12:36Just a moment, Graham.
12:37Everything is delegated.
12:38My maid, my child, even my dog.
12:42None of them are ever allowed to interfere with my work here.
12:45Isn't that right, Graham?
12:52What was that, a dog?
12:57Keep that dog quiet.
12:59And if it's going to type, get it to do some letters.
13:02It was a guard dog.
13:04The security patrol bring them in, you know.
13:07We get some very strange people in the office.
13:09I think we ought to make our way to the restaurant, Mr Hayes.
13:12Oh, fine.
13:13Just do that.
13:14Thank you.
13:16This dog is coming out of here.
13:18It's like a zoo.
13:19And you keep your fingers off that cupboard.
13:21She has no right now.
13:24Take her in your office.
13:26We've got to get her out of here.
13:29What's going on?
13:30Take her in your office.
13:31We've got to save her.
13:33Lucy.
13:34Lucy.
13:35Lucy Lustig.
13:36Lucy.
13:37Lucy.
13:38Now stop crying, darling.
13:39Please.
13:40No, Lucy.
13:41Come on, please.
13:42Sit.
13:43I wasn't cut out to be a mother.
13:45Lucy.
13:46Lucy, darling.
13:47Your mummy's had to go to a very important business lunch...
13:50and she won't be able to take you to the dentist.
13:52I'm not going, Maria.
13:54But you must go to the dentist, darling...
13:56otherwise you'll lose all your teeth.
13:58You'll look like that.
14:00You won't be able to talk, probably.
14:02Nobody's going to understand you.
14:05Oh, you are funny.
14:07So you see, it'd be awful without your teeth, wouldn't it?
14:10No.
14:11Then I wouldn't have to brush them three times a day.
14:16You know I'm right.
14:17You should go to the dentist.
14:18No, he'll hurt me.
14:20Oh, Mr Bailey.
14:22Of course he won't.
14:23I go to Mr Bailey.
14:25He never hurts anybody.
14:27No, I'm not going.
14:29Would you go if I took you?
14:31Oh, yes.
14:32I'll go with you.
14:34I thought you would.
14:35Right.
14:36Well, there's no time to lose.
14:37Maria, you stay here with Felix.
14:39Si, señor Graham.
14:40No, I want Felix to come too.
14:42What?
14:43Oh, look at him.
14:44I don't think there's anything wrong with his teeth.
14:46Please let him come.
14:48No, you may be able to do what you like with Maria...
14:50but you're not going to do it with me.
14:52And he's not coming.
14:53Now, come along.
14:54No, I want to go.
14:55Yes, you do.
14:56Now, come along.
14:57No, I don't.
14:58Lucy, now you've got to...
14:59Never mind all that.
15:10I knew you'd do it, can't I, Ray?
15:14Take a letter, Mr Jones
15:20Take a letter, Mr Jones
15:25No.
15:26Yes.
15:27No.
15:28Yes, he's not going to hurt you.
15:29No.
15:30I know you enjoy it.
15:31Do you mind waiting a moment?
15:33I don't want to go.
15:35He won't hurt you.
15:36He will.
15:37Excuse me.
15:38Oh, Felix.
15:40Hello.
15:41Sorry about the dog.
15:44I thought she knew for a long time.
15:46No, no.
15:47I brought little Lucy.
15:48Her mother couldn't make it.
15:49Well, we've been waiting for you, young lady.
15:51You love coming to the dentist, don't you?
15:53Yes.
15:56Which is more than I can say for you, Mr Jones.
15:58I see I sent you three reminders.
16:00I've been very busy.
16:01You'll have to come and see me soon.
16:03Oh, well, I will.
16:04Now then, Lucy.
16:05Climb up on the chair, will you?
16:06No, I'm always afraid of getting into that chair.
16:09Oh, come on.
16:10There's nothing to be afraid of.
16:12No, I don't want to.
16:14It's easy, darling.
16:15All you do is sit in the chair.
16:17Just lie back and open your mouth.
16:20Oh, dear.
16:21Huh?
16:23That lower back molar of yours has deteriorated.
16:26Uh, yeah.
16:29Can you feel anything when I do this?
16:31Ow!
16:32I take it he felt something.
16:33I'll have to do something about that one straight away.
16:35Well, excuse me.
16:36You don't understand.
16:37You see, this is Lucy's appointment.
16:38Oh, Lucy's got a lovely little set of teeth, haven't you?
16:41Won't it take me five minutes to look around and give them a clean?
16:44We've only got five minutes.
16:45I'll see to her when I've finished cleaning.
16:46No, I don't.
16:48Novocaine.
16:49Double dose.
16:51Good.
16:52Now, I'm going to have to dig down very deep.
16:55I'd rather you didn't do it now.
16:58Mr. Graham, you know what you said.
17:00Mr. Bailey never hurt anybody.
17:03No.
17:04Ow!
17:05Ow!
17:09Oh.
17:10Oh, is the anaesthetic wearing off?
17:13Well, don't worry.
17:14Daisy's making a nice cup of coffee, and he can take an aspirin with it.
17:18Piping hot, just as he likes it.
17:22Here you are, Mr. Jones.
17:23Oh, thank you, Daisy.
17:26Ow!
17:27Oh!
17:32Ow!
17:34The coffee's red hot.
17:36Oh, but I thought that was exactly how you liked it.
17:38Well, it is, but not when I've had a filling.
17:41Yes, Mrs. Warner.
17:42Oh, Graham, Mr. Hayes and I have just come back from a most productive lunch.
17:46And the photographer's here.
17:47They'd like a photograph of me dictating to you.
17:50Sir, could you come in for a minute, please?
17:52Yes, Mrs. Warner.
17:54I want to take my photograph.
17:56This has never happened to me before.
17:58They're going to take my photograph and I can't even smile.
18:04Do I look all right?
18:05Oh, yes, you look fine.
18:07It's a bit swollen, isn't it?
18:08No, not at all.
18:10Your face is always a bit lopsided.
18:14Get that dog tied up.
18:15I don't want it wandering all round the office.
18:17When Mrs. Maria comes back from shopping, get them both in a taxi and send them home.
18:23Belle, I want a photograph of Mrs. Warner dictating to her secretary looking very businesslike.
18:27This article is about a top woman executive who is cool and efficient
18:31and never allows her private life to interfere in the office.
18:33Oh, Maria.
18:34Maria, Graham said could you take Lucy and Felix home immediately?
18:38No, I have just finished shopping.
18:40No, you've got to go right now.
18:41Now?
18:42Yes.
18:43Felix, vieni qui.
18:44Felix!
18:48What was that noise in your office, Graham?
18:50I don't know. I'd better have a look.
18:52Oh, no, Maria, what have you done?
18:55It was Felix. He dragged everything on me.
18:58I don't want to look at anything.
19:00Stop talking to me like a thief. I don't understand what you're saying.
19:03Look at my cat.
19:05It's taken me two years to get it like that and now the knob's dropped off.
19:10Well, at least one good thing's come out of this.
19:12We haven't got to put up with that anymore.
19:13How could you girls let this happen?
19:15Don't blame me. I was sitting out there when all this happened.
19:18Oh, it's a pity you weren't sitting right there.
19:21The intercom's buzzing.
19:22I know it is, but where is it?
19:26Yes, Mrs. Warner.
19:27Graham, the photographer is waiting.
19:29Yes, Mrs. Warner.
19:30Come back into the office.
19:31Right away, Mrs. Warner.
19:37You have to get all this cleared up.
19:38I've got to go back to Mrs. Warner.
19:40You've started me too hard.
19:45What's all that noise about, Graham?
19:46They're rearranging the filing system.
19:50Goodbye, Mummy. I'm going home now.
19:52Lucy, what are you doing here?
19:54Mr. Graham took me to the dentist.
19:57It was great.
19:58Marie's taking me home now.
20:00Must go.
20:02Bye.
20:03Bye.
20:04Run along.
20:05She wouldn't go with Maria.
20:06That was your little daughter, wasn't it?
20:08Yes.
20:09And you took her to the dentist?
20:10Only in my lunch hour.
20:11Yes, well, this will make a very nice human story.
20:14If you'd like to reseat yourself there, Mrs. Warner,
20:16and if you'd like to come and stand this time,
20:18Mrs. Joneville,
20:19taking dictation still,
20:20and looking this way.
20:21That's right.
20:22Look at him, Mrs. Warner.
20:23Bill, I want a couple of shots in this position now.
20:25Keep a nice distance between you,
20:27and look this way.
20:28Smile.
20:35Oh, what about your photo in the papers then?
20:38I got an extra copy.
20:39I thought you might like to keep one.
20:40Actually, I've got 12.
20:43Hey, Mrs. Warner's not going to be very pleased, is she?
20:45She's hardly in it.
20:46I mean, it's all about you taking her kids to the dentist.
20:49To be a top woman executive,
20:51you have to pick the right secretary.
20:53Good morning, Mr. Jones.
20:54Hey.
20:55Well, I suppose you're very pleased with yourself today.
20:57Well, actually, it wasn't a very good photograph,
20:58but next time they do it,
20:59I'll make sure they take a better one.
21:01You've only got that article
21:02because the journalist, the photographer,
21:04and the editor are all men.
21:05Chauvinist pigs.
21:06Oh, no, it's wonderful.
21:07Listen, Graham Jones is a perfect secretary.
21:10More and more men are beginning to move
21:12into jobs traditionally reserved for women
21:14and bring them back.
21:15He even goes on to say
21:16that we're soon going to have male midwives.
21:18Oh, don't worry, dear.
21:19I shall stick to shorthand type.
21:22Morning.
21:23I thought I heard you come in.
21:24Morning, Mrs. Warner.
21:25Would you come into my office?
21:26I'd like a word with you.
21:27Well, it's nice to have known you.
21:29I'll ring the agency
21:30and see if there are any jobs going.
21:32No, that's not...
21:33You've obviously seen this article, Graham.
21:35Yes.
21:36Not very good, is it?
21:37Well, it's very good for you.
21:39Look at those headlines.
21:40The man behind the woman at the top.
21:42I don't get a mention.
21:43Oh, you do.
21:45Twice.
21:46Yes, just to say
21:47that I have a daughter, a dog,
21:48and a mad Italian maid,
21:49and that you look after all of them.
21:51And I can't say I'm very pleased
21:52with the picture, either.
21:53Neither am I.
21:54You know, I've been to the dentist
21:55and I couldn't smile, you see.
21:57Anyway, it's me wrong side.
21:58If they'd have taken me over here...
21:59What's wrong with it
22:00is that I don't happen to be in it.
22:03You didn't tell me you posed on your own.
22:05Rather sneaky, don't you think?
22:06But I didn't.
22:07You are in that picture.
22:08Me? Where?
22:09Oh, look.
22:10Of course you are.
22:11There.
22:12There you are.
22:13But they've cut you out.
22:14What?
22:15You see?
22:16You see that?
22:17You see your shadow over there?
22:18You see?
22:19And look, look.
22:20There's your toe
22:21peeping round the corner of the dentist.
22:22Charming.
22:23I buy a £200 dress for the photographer
22:24and all I get is a picture of my toe.
22:26Well, it has come out very well.
22:27Well, it's not what I expected.
22:28And it doesn't do a thing for eight star.
22:30Morning, Joan.
22:31Morning, Graham.
22:32Morning, Mr Lewis.
22:33Now, about this article.
22:36Marvellous.
22:38Really?
22:39You think so?
22:40Yes.
22:41It's just what we need.
22:42I mean, we're always reading about our top executives
22:44jetting all over the place.
22:45Now, here's something about one of our staff.
22:47Makes eight star look positively human.
22:49I must say, that chap Hayes
22:51certainly thought up a great twist.
22:53Excuse me, sir.
22:54It wasn't his idea.
22:55It was Mrs Warner's.
22:56Really?
22:57Great stuff, my dear.
22:58Congratulations.
22:59Great stuff.
23:01One thing he didn't say about you in that article, Graham.
23:03What's that?
23:04You're a wonderful liar.
23:07I don't think your lunch was wasted, do you?
23:09No.
23:10Now, Graham, I've got a lot on the agenda.
23:12I thought you might.
23:14I'd like you to type out these reports that I've prepared.
23:17Oh, and the advertising agency is coming to discuss
23:19the campaign for the new season.
23:21Yes.
23:22Oh, and my washing machine's leaking,
23:23so could you ring the maintenance men?
23:25And we have to prepare the monthly sales chart,
23:27so I'm afraid we can't do that.
23:29The monthly sales chart,
23:30so I'm afraid we're going to have to work during lunch.
23:32Oh, no, no, no.
23:33I'm definitely going out to lunch.
23:34But, Graham, it says here,
23:36Graham Jones never stops working
23:38and, if necessary, will give up his lunch hour
23:40to help Mrs Warner.
23:42That just proves one thing, Mrs Warner.
23:44What's that?
23:45You never believe anything you read in the newspaper.
23:59APPLAUSE
24:30You're a marvel
24:31Well...
24:32You're a treasure
24:33Perhaps...
24:34Mr Jones
24:35And Detective Mr Jones
24:37How kind.