The Present (2024)

  • 2 months ago
The Present is a 2024 American comedy film written by Jay Martel, directed by Christian Ditter and starring Isla Fisher and Greg Kinnear.
Transcript
00:00:00You
00:00:30Oh
00:01:00I
00:01:02Mean
00:01:26Just wait until everyone's at the table. Hey, so I'm gonna camp out tonight. We're too old for that stuff
00:01:30I know. I was just kidding.
00:01:32Besides, I'm going to a party tonight.
00:01:33We talked about that. The answer is no.
00:01:35I'm literally missing the party of the year
00:01:36for a family dinner.
00:01:37Everyone's gonna be there.
00:01:39Not everyone.
00:01:40Shut up, Max!
00:01:41Oh, gosh. Please stop shouting at your brother.
00:01:44Taylor's having dinner with us?
00:01:45Something's going down.
00:01:47So, your dad and I wanted to talk to the three of you
00:01:49all in the same place about something important.
00:01:52Mm-hmm.
00:01:54This...
00:01:55This is important.
00:01:56I just said that.
00:01:58I understand.
00:01:59Yeah, okay. Okay, so your dad and I
00:02:00wanted to talk to the three of you
00:02:02because we've decided that we need to make a change.
00:02:07No way.
00:02:08What are you talking about?
00:02:09They're getting divorced.
00:02:11No. No, no, no.
00:02:12It's just trial separation.
00:02:13I don't want anyone on trial.
00:02:14No, no, no. We're just gonna live apart for a little bit.
00:02:16I don't want anyone on trial.
00:02:17You're not going on trial.
00:02:19I'm not.
00:02:20They're getting divorced. That's what that means.
00:02:21We're gonna live apart for a while.
00:02:23For forever. Just say it.
00:02:24Guys, would you please just listen to me?
00:02:26Please, guys. You don't want to be on trial.
00:02:28Taylor, we want entrance!
00:02:30Oh, so Taylor sent you to get up and leave.
00:02:32And I want to get up and leave.
00:02:33I got it. I got it.
00:02:35I don't want to be here.
00:02:37I don't want to, you know, live apart.
00:02:40So can I just...
00:02:41Go on. Go on.
00:02:52-—Beep. Beep.
00:02:54Beep. Beep.
00:02:57Oh, God.
00:03:27Well, at least I won't have to get used to sleeping alone.
00:03:39I wouldn't go there if I were you.
00:03:42All right, so, we're doing it tonight at dinner.
00:03:47Where will you stay?
00:03:48I don't really know.
00:03:49Dan's got an extra room.
00:03:50Oh, his place is disgusting.
00:03:51Yeah.
00:03:52I don't suppose you want to move out?
00:03:58Don't put it on me.
00:04:02Max!
00:04:03Mom, he's doing it again!
00:04:09Hey, Max!
00:04:12You're going to talk to Taylor.
00:04:13Yeah, and then you talk to Max.
00:04:14I know, I know.
00:04:15Mom, he's doing it again!
00:04:16Stop it!
00:04:17Guys, guys, listen, this is important.
00:04:20No excuses.
00:04:21We need everyone at dinner.
00:04:22Seriously?
00:04:23Tonight?
00:04:24Will we have favorite chicken?
00:04:25Yeah, sure, sweetie.
00:04:26No, wait, but Jimmy's having a party tonight.
00:04:27It's always the best party of the year.
00:04:28Everyone's counting on me to be there.
00:04:29You're 16.
00:04:30What's everyone counting on you for?
00:04:31God, Dad.
00:04:32Is Jacob going to be there?
00:04:33What?
00:04:34I don't know.
00:04:35Who cares about him?
00:04:36He'll definitely be there.
00:04:37Don't you have a plate to bang on?
00:04:38Hey, don't hit your brother.
00:04:39Oh, my God.
00:04:40Stop.
00:04:41He'll be a guest.
00:04:42That is a no.
00:04:43Thank you.
00:04:44You're welcome.
00:04:46Eric?
00:04:47Oh.
00:04:48What?
00:04:49Well, we gave away everything else
00:04:50my father had in storage.
00:04:51What are we supposed to do with a giant,
00:04:52broken clock that nobody wants?
00:04:53This is a rare antique, Jen.
00:04:54It's kind of creepy.
00:04:55Go wait in the car.
00:04:56Don't you feel like we should be
00:04:57clearing stuff away right now
00:04:58with everything that we're going through?
00:04:59Yeah, I'll have him put it in the basement.
00:05:00I don't know.
00:05:01I don't know.
00:05:02I don't know.
00:05:03I don't know.
00:05:04I don't know.
00:05:05I don't know.
00:05:06I don't know.
00:05:07I don't know.
00:05:08I don't know.
00:05:09I don't know.
00:05:10I don't know.
00:05:11I don't know.
00:05:12I don't know.
00:05:13I don't know.
00:05:14I'll have him put it in the basement.
00:05:15No.
00:05:16You know how Taylor feels about change.
00:05:17Well, you can tell Taylor about it
00:05:18when you tell him about dinner.
00:05:19That was not part of our deal.
00:05:20And I'll tell Emma.
00:05:21No.
00:05:22Yeah.
00:05:23Emma!
00:05:25Basement's this way.
00:05:27Basement.
00:05:28You guys got it?
00:05:29Let's get down there.
00:05:30I'm so sorry.
00:05:31Now, bring it down.
00:05:32Rotate.
00:05:33Yeah.
00:05:34Just leave it at the bottom of the stairs, honestly.
00:05:36Hey, Mom.
00:05:38Oh.
00:05:39Hey, Taylor.
00:05:40They can bring the clock over here.
00:05:44Oh.
00:05:57What is that?
00:05:58The clock can help you now and then,
00:06:01but only you can change events.
00:06:04Huh.
00:06:05Hokey.
00:06:07This is between you and your dad.
00:06:09If you want to pull it apart or throw it from a cliff,
00:06:11you can, but just don't pull that over on yourself.
00:06:14It looks pretty heavy.
00:06:1712-hour repeater.
00:06:21There's something else I need to talk to you about.
00:06:23What is it?
00:06:24I don't know.
00:06:25I don't know.
00:06:26I don't know.
00:06:27I don't know.
00:06:28I don't know.
00:06:29I don't know.
00:06:30I don't know.
00:06:31I don't know.
00:06:32I don't know.
00:06:33I don't know.
00:06:34I don't know.
00:06:35There's something else I need to talk to you about.
00:06:41You want me to be at dinner tonight?
00:06:43Yeah.
00:06:44How'd you know that?
00:06:46Now get the door.
00:06:51Huh.
00:07:06Hi.
00:07:07Hey.
00:07:08Another package for you and Taylor.
00:07:09Huh.
00:07:10Still adding on to his computer, eh?
00:07:11Never ends.
00:07:12Don't we have to go?
00:07:13Oh, yes.
00:07:14You got your bag?
00:07:15It's on my back.
00:07:20Ew.
00:07:21What was?
00:07:22Ew.
00:07:23Gross.
00:07:24It's on your shoe.
00:07:25Disgusting.
00:07:30I'm sorry.
00:07:31I'm sorry.
00:07:32I'm sorry.
00:07:33I'm sorry.
00:07:34I'm sorry.
00:07:37Oh, God.
00:07:48Why doesn't Emma take me anymore?
00:07:49Oh, honey, she just wants to drive alone right now.
00:07:52She never wants to be with me anymore.
00:07:54Is she sick of me?
00:07:55She's sick of everyone.
00:07:56I kind of feel like Taylor got the best deal of all of us.
00:07:58Taylor?
00:07:59Yeah.
00:08:00I mean, because of those issues that were diagnosed by professionals,
00:08:03he gets to sit in the basement all day playing video games.
00:08:06Honey, Taylor has a really hard time.
00:08:08I mean, can you imagine not wanting to be touched,
00:08:11not wanting to go outside?
00:08:13Today, he was actually fixing Grandpa's clock.
00:08:15That old piece of shit?
00:08:17Max.
00:08:20Yeah.
00:08:21That old piece of shit.
00:08:31Let's turn that bar forward.
00:08:34We're here together, guys.
00:08:35Let's do this, people!
00:08:36This is our moment.
00:08:38We're going to take it.
00:08:39No negativity.
00:08:40Let's be positive.
00:08:43What an incredible session in there.
00:08:45Oh, thanks.
00:08:47Sorry about that, brutal class.
00:08:49I'm clearly working through some feelings.
00:08:51Are you kidding me?
00:08:52I feel like you took it to a whole new level in there.
00:08:54Really?
00:08:55Yeah.
00:08:56Yeah, I'm really excited about tomorrow's private session.
00:08:58Oh, actually, you need to get me a signed release.
00:09:01My studio doesn't want to be sued by some rich lawyer.
00:09:03I would never sue you, Jen, never.
00:09:06I would totally sue anybody you want me to.
00:09:08Oh, I mean, I'm sure that won't be necessary, but thanks.
00:09:10No, no, no, I'm serious, Jen.
00:09:11Just think of me as your legal eagle.
00:09:12Ready to dive in and eviscerate anybody in a moment's notice.
00:09:17What the hell?
00:09:19What did you do to my car?
00:09:21You didn't see him?
00:09:23See what?
00:09:24The kid.
00:09:25The kid ran into the middle of the street.
00:09:26I barely missed him.
00:09:27Taylor?
00:09:28Do you have insurance?
00:09:42Taylor?
00:09:45Taylor?
00:09:46Taylor?
00:09:57Taylor, did you just...
00:09:59Did you leave the house, honey?
00:10:12Oh, wow, you fixed Grandpa's clock.
00:10:15Wait, is that the time?
00:10:17Okay, I'm late for an appointment. I've got to go.
00:10:19If you want to go out the house, just don't do it alone, okay?
00:10:21I love you.
00:10:24I love you, too.
00:10:30Have you noticed anything unusual about Taylor lately?
00:10:35I saw him this morning.
00:10:37Dropped a package off to him.
00:10:39Really?
00:10:41Yeah.
00:10:42Jennifer, is that so surprising to you?
00:10:44No, no, I didn't mean that. I went to the basement.
00:10:46He's my son, too.
00:10:47No, I get it.
00:10:48So sometimes I...
00:10:50I just felt like I was wondering, because when I went down to the...
00:10:54Hello.
00:10:55Let's save some of that for space, shall we?
00:10:57Okay.
00:10:58Shh, shh, shh, shh.
00:10:59Oh, what is this?
00:11:01What is this?
00:11:02So, um, so it's happening tonight.
00:11:08Oh, yes.
00:11:09As we talked about last week.
00:11:11So, hashtag splitting up.
00:11:14How are you going to communicate this to the three of them?
00:11:16Their family dynamic is about to change.
00:11:20Well, we don't know. That's why we're here seeing you.
00:11:24Is that what you would like to talk about?
00:11:28Yeah.
00:11:30That's why we're here.
00:11:32Great.
00:11:33Eric?
00:11:34Yes?
00:11:35Would you like to contribute to this?
00:11:37Sure. I'm just tired of it all.
00:11:41The distrust, the disinterest, the dislike.
00:11:47If we're going to be single, maybe it's best just to get this over with.
00:11:51Okay.
00:11:52Better for everyone.
00:11:53I hear you, brother. I hear you.
00:11:55So here's what we'll do, okay?
00:11:56Okay.
00:11:57We will approach how you would like this conversation with your children.
00:12:04Unspooling.
00:12:06We don't know how to unspool it.
00:12:08That's why we're here.
00:12:09That's why we're talking to you.
00:12:11Right.
00:12:12I'm sensing a little bit of anger from you, Jen, if I'm going to be honest with you.
00:12:16And I think that you should get your vitamin D tested.
00:12:20You could schedule a test from Quest right at your home.
00:12:23Oh, I'm not angry, actually.
00:12:25And there's nothing wrong with my vitamin D.
00:12:27Can I just say you're diminishing my feelings by putting them all down to a physical ailment.
00:12:32I have a teenage daughter who hates me half the time.
00:12:34I've got a son who doesn't.
00:12:36He doesn't want to be touched.
00:12:37I'm splitting up from my husband.
00:12:39And you know what the worst part is?
00:12:41We're paying you to water your plants.
00:12:44Technically, Jen, not to correct you, but they are not plants.
00:12:48You know, they are flowering plants.
00:12:50But they're not flowers or plants.
00:12:52It's important we use the right terminology.
00:12:56His obsession with flowers really bugs me.
00:12:58Jennifer, I believe it's a flowering plant obsession.
00:13:01And have you noticed he starts spritzing every time he talks about anger?
00:13:05Yes! My gosh.
00:13:07Who recommended him?
00:13:11And your bag.
00:13:16Hey, I got a little break.
00:13:17I don't suppose you want to, I don't know, go back to the house, you know?
00:13:24Take a nap or whatever?
00:13:27Are you serious?
00:13:28We're still married.
00:13:29We're still married.
00:13:35In some countries, you'd have to.
00:13:37Eric.
00:13:57Hey.
00:13:58I thought this was your office.
00:14:00It is. Sometimes.
00:14:01Please, sit down.
00:14:05And here you go.
00:14:08You could have scanned this.
00:14:09Oh, this is a lot more fun, right?
00:14:12I have to confirm.
00:14:13There's no nuts in any of this, right?
00:14:15None.
00:14:16All right. Let's do this.
00:14:18This is the best tamponade in town.
00:14:20I can't think of anybody else I'd rather share it with than you.
00:14:23You're gonna love it.
00:14:25Jen, this might be a little out of line, but...
00:14:28I care for you.
00:14:29While I might not know too much about your personal life,
00:14:32I can see that you're not happy right now.
00:14:35Come on, please.
00:14:37Tell me how I can help.
00:14:41Are you okay?
00:14:43No.
00:14:44How can I be okay when you're unhappy?
00:14:46Something's happening.
00:14:48You feel it, too?
00:14:50It's true.
00:14:51I've had a connection with you ever since I met you.
00:14:53No, something is happening to your face.
00:14:56Your face is all puffy and red.
00:14:59I'll call 911.
00:15:00No.
00:15:01EpiPen.
00:15:02EpiPen.
00:15:03My car.
00:15:04EpiPen.
00:15:05Oh, God.
00:15:06Richard, are you okay?
00:15:08Where is it?
00:15:10Okay.
00:15:11It's in the car.
00:15:12Not my window!
00:15:13Speak to me!
00:15:14Compartment.
00:15:15Found it.
00:15:16It's okay.
00:15:17Everything's fine.
00:15:18Compartment.
00:15:19Found it.
00:15:20It's okay.
00:15:21Everything's under control.
00:15:23Okay.
00:15:25Let's do this.
00:15:28Oh, God.
00:15:38Oh, God.
00:15:43Why do I feel like we should be smoking cigarettes?
00:15:49Please.
00:15:50Come for the man whose life you just saved.
00:15:57I can't believe they gave you peanuts after everything that you said.
00:16:01It's not peanuts.
00:16:03It's tree nuts.
00:16:04Like almonds.
00:16:07What is it?
00:16:09Sorry.
00:16:11Everything okay?
00:16:13Hey, Emma.
00:16:14How are you?
00:16:15Yeah.
00:16:16So sorry.
00:16:17I just lost track of time.
00:16:19Wait.
00:16:20What?
00:16:21He's what?
00:16:23When did you last see him?
00:16:24Till tomorrow.
00:16:28That went good.
00:16:39Taylor?
00:16:40Mom?
00:16:41Mom, Taylor left.
00:16:42That's how he works.
00:16:43Mom, Taylor left.
00:16:44That's how he works.
00:16:45Is he back?
00:16:46No, he left the house.
00:16:47He never leaves the house.
00:16:48He's not here.
00:16:49Okay, Taylor.
00:16:50He's in the basement.
00:16:52Oh, my God, Taylor.
00:16:53What a relief.
00:16:54Mom, what's your problem?
00:16:55He doesn't like to be touched.
00:16:56I know, honey.
00:16:57Don't ever go out of the house alone.
00:16:59Do you understand?
00:17:00What were you doing?
00:17:04What is your problem?
00:17:07Taylor, where were you?
00:17:09Were you at the restaurant right now?
00:17:11What restaurant?
00:17:12Are you not a psycho much?
00:17:13Chill, Mom.
00:17:14He's fine.
00:17:16At least we're having favorite chicken for dinner tonight.
00:17:31Oh.
00:17:33Thank you for saving the day.
00:17:36Just do what I'm told.
00:17:40You know, for months I've been
00:17:41just so confident that we're doing the right thing,
00:17:44and then...
00:17:48Today I'm like,
00:17:50what are we doing?
00:17:52Jen.
00:17:54Come on, we...
00:17:56Listen, we can wait, okay?
00:17:58We don't have to tell him tonight.
00:18:01All right?
00:18:03Thank you.
00:18:06Happy to see me?
00:18:08What? Why?
00:18:09You have a bulge in your pocket.
00:18:11Really?
00:18:12Just right there.
00:18:13I called it.
00:18:14Oh.
00:18:15Yes.
00:18:16Student had an allergic reaction,
00:18:18so I had to give him an injection.
00:18:20You?
00:18:21Uh-huh.
00:18:22You did this?
00:18:23You hate needles.
00:18:24Right?
00:18:25I had to give him an injection.
00:18:26Oh, my gosh.
00:18:27Was there nobody at the studio to do this?
00:18:30He must have freaked.
00:18:31Oh, we were at a restaurant, I guess.
00:18:33Somebody gave him almonds.
00:18:35Restaurant?
00:18:36Who's the guy?
00:18:38Richard.
00:18:39Richard.
00:18:40Who?
00:18:41Yeah, he's a young guy that just joined my class.
00:18:44Huh?
00:18:45But, you know, nothing happened.
00:18:46I mean, we held hands, and...
00:18:48Well, that's it.
00:18:49So...
00:18:55Congratulations.
00:18:57Wait.
00:18:58I can't hold hands with somebody when you're moving out?
00:19:01I knew it'd be a student.
00:19:04Okay, so we can't talk tonight?
00:19:06We can't talk tonight.
00:19:07I'm literally missing the party of the year for a family dinner.
00:19:10Everyone's gonna be there.
00:19:12Not everyone.
00:19:13Shut up, Ma.
00:19:14Guys, everybody stop fighting, please.
00:19:16Taylor's having dinner with us?
00:19:18So, your dad and I, um...
00:19:21We wanted to talk to the three of you,
00:19:23all in the same place, um...
00:19:25about something really important.
00:19:27Mm-hmm.
00:19:28Yeah, this is important.
00:19:30I already said that.
00:19:31I know you did.
00:19:32So, anyway, you're...
00:19:33Taylor, um...
00:19:34I haven't even...
00:19:35Hey, we're not done talking here.
00:19:37Taylor, sweetie!
00:19:40Taylor?
00:19:44Really?
00:20:02I love you.
00:20:32I love you.
00:20:46Max!
00:20:52Mom, he's doing it again!
00:21:00Max, stop.
00:21:01Stop.
00:21:02Mom!
00:21:03Mom, he's doing it again.
00:21:04Make him stop.
00:21:05Hey, listen up.
00:21:06This is important.
00:21:07We need everyone at dinner.
00:21:09Seriously?
00:21:10Mm.
00:21:11Tonight?
00:21:13Okay.
00:21:14All right, honey.
00:21:15I'm gonna dispense with all the formalities
00:21:17and just bribe you.
00:21:18What will it take to get you at dinner, huh?
00:21:20Why are you doing this to me?
00:21:22Uh, it's not...
00:21:24It's just tonight, honey, okay?
00:21:26Tomorrow night, you can go out with Jacob
00:21:28till 10.30 at night.
00:21:3111.
00:21:3311.30?
00:21:34I told you, I don't even want to go out with him.
00:21:36Well, it doesn't have to be Jacob.
00:21:38It could be any of the Old Testament prophets.
00:21:40I'll pay for non-alcoholic beverages
00:21:42and G-rated movies
00:21:44and abstinence pamphlets.
00:21:48Thank you.
00:21:50Whatever.
00:21:51I mean it.
00:21:52Not just for this.
00:21:53For everything.
00:21:55We never have to worry about you.
00:21:57You've never been able to worry about me.
00:22:00There's a difference.
00:22:28Um...
00:22:31I have to tell you something, Jacob.
00:22:34I can't go to Jamie's party anymore.
00:22:37My parents need me at dinner.
00:22:40Emma.
00:22:41I bought these.
00:22:43An entire box.
00:22:45Very optimistic.
00:22:46Let's just do it in my place.
00:22:47Right now.
00:22:48You have a death metal bedspread
00:22:50and little planes hanging above your bed.
00:22:52Okay, they're Jedi starfighters.
00:22:54Starfighters.
00:22:56Oh, my God.
00:22:58This is why you're still a virgin.
00:23:00Guess I looked out then.
00:23:15Speak, if you can.
00:23:16Here, officer.
00:23:17Stay.
00:23:18Good, sir.
00:23:19How do you start?
00:23:20And things that you do sound so fair.
00:23:22Aw, hell, my back.
00:23:24Hell.
00:23:25What's this about you not going to Jamie's party?
00:23:27Ugh, my parents.
00:23:28They want me at some dinner.
00:23:30Hey, uh...
00:23:32Good stuff.
00:23:34Witches.
00:23:38And on stage, he's so good at killing people.
00:23:42Hey.
00:23:45Eva, can I talk to you for a second?
00:23:47Sure.
00:23:49There is a party tonight.
00:23:51Jamie's house appears out of town...
00:23:55Oh, whatever.
00:23:58After all, he already bought an entire box.
00:24:18Hey.
00:24:21You okay?
00:24:23Yeah.
00:24:24You know, life's but a walking shadow.
00:24:29You're doing really well, by the way.
00:24:31Yeah, the scene.
00:24:34Thanks.
00:24:36So are you.
00:24:37And I'm not just saying that because my character would.
00:24:41All hail.
00:24:42All hail.
00:24:45You know, they're showing Denzel's version at the university.
00:24:50I thought it'd be fun to see his interpretation of the Scottish play.
00:24:56I thought that maybe we could do that or something else or just, you know, that.
00:25:00Are you asking me to the movie?
00:25:03No.
00:25:05Maybe.
00:25:06Yes, yeah.
00:25:07Yeah.
00:25:09Okay.
00:25:13Oh.
00:25:14Great.
00:25:16Okay.
00:25:17Well, so yeah, it's tonight, so.
00:25:20I can't.
00:25:22Why is everything happening tonight?
00:25:24Emma.
00:25:25Emma, your mother called the office.
00:25:27There's been some kind of family emergency.
00:25:29Oh, my God.
00:25:35Cocoa.
00:25:36Cocoa.
00:25:37Cocoa.
00:25:42Cocoa.
00:25:53Mom.
00:25:56Mom.
00:25:57Dad.
00:26:01Taylor, is mom here?
00:26:08You promised mom you wouldn't use her voice anymore.
00:26:11Hello, Emma.
00:26:12I'm speaking to you as a British pop star, so you'll pay closer attention.
00:26:16I can't believe this.
00:26:17I thought there was an emergency.
00:26:18There is an emergency.
00:26:19At dinner, mom and dad will separate.
00:26:22I need your help to keep them together.
00:26:30That's what this dinner's about?
00:26:34I mean, I knew they were having problems, but mom said they were working them out.
00:26:39How do you know this?
00:26:42The clock can turn back time.
00:26:44Up to 12 hours.
00:26:46What?
00:26:47Come on.
00:26:48I found out when I fixed it the first day it came.
00:26:52That's today.
00:26:54It came this morning.
00:26:55This is the 23rd version of today.
00:26:58Which is how I know that mom and dad are splitting up at the end of it.
00:27:01And how I know the next words you're going to say.
00:27:04This is stupid.
00:27:05Yeah, of course you knew that.
00:27:06This is stupid.
00:27:08How about this?
00:27:09Blueberry buttercup fatty pickles.
00:27:36I think I know how to stop mom.
00:27:38But I need your help with dad.
00:27:40They're making a big mistake.
00:27:43How do you know it's a mistake?
00:27:46I mean, better now than later.
00:27:48Spoiler alert.
00:27:49Love sucks.
00:27:51It never lasts.
00:27:54Jacob's a wanker.
00:27:56Mom and dad are different.
00:28:01I'm sorry.
00:28:03I'm sorry.
00:28:22Oh, God.
00:28:24You're done barfing, right?
00:28:25Because I just cleaned my car.
00:28:27Yeah?
00:28:28Oh.
00:28:33We're off to a flying start.
00:28:41Pull over. Here.
00:28:53I'm sorry we haven't spent much time together lately.
00:28:57We don't really talk much anymore, do we?
00:29:01I know we're not supposed to talk about the not talking.
00:29:04But you can talk, right?
00:29:08You just don't want to.
00:29:12Look.
00:29:14I don't blame you.
00:29:16Most of what people say is really stupid.
00:29:19I just wonder if...
00:29:23Taylor!
00:29:25Taylor, where are you going?
00:29:29Taylor!
00:29:30What are you doing?
00:29:37Oh, my God.
00:29:38What the hell?
00:29:39What did you do to my car?
00:29:40You didn't see him?
00:29:41See what?
00:29:42The kid.
00:29:43Taylor, what the hell just happened?
00:29:44The car almost hit you.
00:29:45You almost got killed.
00:29:49Oh, my God.
00:29:50If mom and dad knew what you were doing right now,
00:29:51you'd be so grounded.
00:29:53I love being grounded.
00:29:55But that was the easy part.
00:29:57Now is where I need your help.
00:30:07Look at him.
00:30:08No wonder they're in trouble.
00:30:10Mom's beautiful and he's a mess.
00:30:13It's like he's not even trying anymore.
00:30:15And he's smoking again?
00:30:17He's such a loser.
00:30:19How is that our dad?
00:30:20It's all we have to work with.
00:30:22Yeah, I know.
00:30:26I have an idea.
00:30:27But we need money.
00:30:30Taylor, is that real?
00:30:33How did you get it?
00:30:35The stock market.
00:30:38Is that totally ethical?
00:30:42It's for a good cause, right?
00:30:44Okay, so you're gonna say to him,
00:30:45it's a promotion,
00:30:46and we're giving free haircuts to everyone in the office,
00:30:48and it's your turn.
00:30:49I don't like lying.
00:30:53How short do you want it?
00:30:59We have 60 seconds.
00:31:01Is this absolutely necessary?
00:31:22Okay.
00:31:41No.
00:31:42Oh, my God.
00:31:44Oh, no.
00:31:46Um...
00:31:48Oh!
00:31:49Ah!
00:31:53Ah!
00:32:07Do you notice this haircut, at least?
00:32:14Oh, my God.
00:32:15Oh, my God, they're going somewhere together.
00:32:17This is great.
00:32:18I've never gotten this far.
00:32:32This is huge.
00:32:33They went home together.
00:32:35We actually did it.
00:32:36We'll see you at dinner.
00:32:46I know...
00:32:48I acted like I didn't care when you first told me.
00:32:54I guess...
00:32:59I guess it's just easier to act like you literally don't care, right?
00:33:04Because you don't have any control of these things.
00:33:07I know.
00:33:08I know.
00:33:09I know.
00:33:10I know.
00:33:11I know.
00:33:13Because you don't have any control of these things that are happening to you.
00:33:20The truth is, I can't imagine Mom and Dad apart.
00:33:33Oh, crap.
00:33:35Mom's leaving by herself.
00:33:43Mom... Mom what?
00:33:53What were you doing in the kitchen?
00:33:54Who was that weird guy with Mom?
00:33:59I'm not breaking into anyone's car.
00:34:01I'm not doing it.
00:34:04I'm not strong enough.
00:34:06Please...
00:34:07I'll explain later.
00:34:09Get back.
00:34:13That's an EpiPen.
00:34:14It could save someone's life.
00:34:15Oh, my God.
00:34:16I thought you were not even breathing.
00:34:18Where's the EpiPen?
00:34:21Oh, God, not my window.
00:34:23Right there.
00:34:24Oh, God, I found it.
00:34:26Okay.
00:34:27Woo!
00:34:28Okay.
00:34:29Sorry, sorry.
00:34:30I'll put you there.
00:34:31I'll put you there.
00:34:32Let's do it.
00:34:33Ow!
00:34:34Ow!
00:34:35Ow!
00:34:36Ow!
00:34:37Ow!
00:34:38Ow!
00:34:39Ow!
00:34:40Ow!
00:34:42Ow!
00:34:44What?
00:34:45Killing Mom's new boyfriend isn't going to solve anything.
00:34:48She needs a shock, but not that kind of shock.
00:34:53Oh, my God.
00:34:54She needs a vision.
00:34:57Don't forget to stop at the Mini Mart and buy favorite chicken for dinner tonight.
00:35:00Yeah, yeah, I know.
00:35:01I'm on my way.
00:35:02Till tomorrow.
00:35:03Who's that?
00:35:04Uh, just some crazy man yelling at me from the street.
00:35:06Bye.
00:35:08It's show time.
00:35:10Hey, Siri, call Dylan.
00:35:18Go, Dylan, go.
00:35:22Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps in this petty pace day to day
00:35:27to the last syllable of recorded time.
00:35:30Out!
00:35:31Out, brief candle!
00:35:32It is a tale told by an idiot filled with sound and fury signifying nothing.
00:35:38My spouse has died, but yours still lives.
00:35:44A chance to change your fate and fate to you alone gives.
00:35:47See the light and change your way.
00:35:49Change your way and change today.
00:35:59It was really okay?
00:36:00Oh, my God, it was so much better than okay.
00:36:02You totally blew her mind.
00:36:04Okay.
00:36:05And what was that part at the end?
00:36:06Yeah, that wasn't in the play.
00:36:07I wrote it to fit the occasion.
00:36:10Wow, you're really good.
00:36:12Thank you.
00:36:17Thank you again so much for doing this.
00:36:27I'll see you tomorrow.
00:36:28Tomorrow.
00:36:31Tomorrow and tomorrow and...
00:36:33Hey, Macbeth, move it!
00:36:37Hey.
00:36:42Hey, Mom.
00:36:43Oh, hey, kid.
00:36:44How's your day?
00:36:45Weird.
00:36:48Oh, yeah.
00:36:49I guess so.
00:36:50No, I'm sorry.
00:36:51I forgot about that.
00:36:52I just saw it lying by the side of the street.
00:36:55I thought that could stab somebody.
00:36:57I would leave it there.
00:36:58Maybe a crazy man.
00:37:00Hey, everybody.
00:37:02Oh, hey, hon, can we talk?
00:37:06Yeah.
00:37:09Looks good, right?
00:37:11Your father and I wanted to talk to the three of you
00:37:14all in the same place about something important.
00:37:17But we're not gonna do that tonight.
00:37:19Instead, we're just gonna have a nice family dinner, all right?
00:37:22Right.
00:37:23Dig in.
00:37:24I'm gonna have this.
00:37:25Thank you very much.
00:37:27Are you kidding me?
00:37:29Dylan Barlow.
00:37:32I knew it.
00:37:33I knew his face.
00:37:34I couldn't remember his name.
00:37:36He's your friend, right?
00:37:38No.
00:37:39Yes.
00:37:40How do you know Dylan?
00:37:41Well, his mom takes my Wednesday morning class,
00:37:44and he just followed me around a supermarket
00:37:48doing Shakespeare quotes.
00:37:50That's really weird.
00:37:52Why would he do that?
00:37:54Yeah, that's what I'm gonna find out, actually.
00:37:56What are you doing?
00:37:57I'm just gonna text his mom.
00:37:58No, stop.
00:38:00It was my idea.
00:38:03I thought that it would change your plans,
00:38:06and it did, right?
00:38:09My plans?
00:38:12With Dad.
00:38:14To get divorced.
00:38:16What?
00:38:17No, that's not what's happening.
00:38:18Have you been spying on us?
00:38:19Yeah, but I...
00:38:20There is no but.
00:38:21We do not snoop in this house.
00:38:23We just don't.
00:38:24We face each other from a place of honesty.
00:38:26Oh, yeah?
00:38:27Is that what you told the weird guy you met for drinks
00:38:29before you went to his car and pulled down his pants?
00:38:31Emma.
00:38:32What are you...
00:38:33What is she talking about?
00:38:35Oh, a new private.
00:38:36We met at a restaurant.
00:38:37He had an allergic reaction.
00:38:38It was nothing, but I had to give him an injection.
00:38:40You hate needles.
00:38:41Mm.
00:38:45Congratulations.
00:38:47Mom and I are separating, everybody.
00:38:49I knew he'd be a student.
00:38:51Sweetie, no.
00:38:53No.
00:38:54Emma.
00:38:55Emma!
00:38:56What's happening?
00:38:57Emma.
00:38:58Wait, sweetie.
00:39:00What a piece of shit.
00:39:02Listen, we didn't mean to spring it on you like that.
00:39:04Dude, we're going to go...
00:39:07Oh.
00:39:16Well, at least I won't have to get used to sleepwalking.
00:39:27I wouldn't go there if I were you.
00:39:31So, we're doing it tonight.
00:39:35Where will you stay?
00:39:38I don't really know.
00:39:40Dan has an extra room.
00:39:42Dan, this place is disgusting.
00:39:45I don't like it.
00:39:46I don't like it.
00:39:47I don't like it.
00:39:48I don't like it.
00:39:49I don't like it.
00:39:50I don't like it.
00:39:51I don't like it.
00:39:52I don't like it.
00:39:53I don't like it.
00:39:54Dan, this place is disgusting.
00:39:56I don't suppose you want to move out?
00:39:58Don't put it on me.
00:40:03Max!
00:40:12Max!
00:40:13Hey!
00:40:14Max!
00:40:16What do you want?
00:40:17I'm rocking out.
00:40:18You can rock out in your own room with your own headphones.
00:40:21Nobody wants to hear this.
00:40:22That's not true.
00:40:23And leave your sister alone.
00:40:25Why are you always annoying her?
00:40:27See this space?
00:40:28Stay away.
00:40:29So, you're going to tell Taylor about dinner.
00:40:32Then you're going to talk to Max and Emma.
00:40:34Guys, Mom and I need everyone at dinner.
00:40:39It looks a lot worse than when we put it in storage.
00:40:42What does it matter?
00:40:43It doesn't work.
00:40:44It's kind of creepy.
00:40:45It's got these scuff marks all over it.
00:40:47Got a scratch up here.
00:40:49Looks like the minute hand's missing.
00:40:51You guys didn't drop it, did you?
00:40:53Not yet.
00:40:54Take it out of the basement.
00:40:55Taylor and I think we can fix it.
00:41:13Taylor?
00:41:14Are you...
00:41:21Wow.
00:41:30Wow.
00:41:33That's incredible.
00:41:34Don't touch it.
00:41:36It's very fragile.
00:41:38Oh.
00:41:39Right.
00:41:43Amazing.
00:41:44There's a package here for President Obama himself.
00:41:51Well, well, that is amazing.
00:41:55Now, why are you moving out tonight?
00:41:58Taylor, were you listening in on our conversation?
00:42:02Because you know we've talked to you about listening before.
00:42:05And look at that.
00:42:08Well, that is amazing.
00:42:10Promise me you'll never leave us.
00:42:14Oh, God.
00:42:21I love you and your sister, your brother, so much.
00:42:26I never wanted...
00:42:28Well, that is amazing.
00:42:30Are things okay between you and Mom?
00:42:33Yeah.
00:42:35Yeah, it's fine.
00:42:37No matter what happens.
00:42:42I love you and your brother and sister very much.
00:42:47Fist bump?
00:42:51All right.
00:42:52I'll see you a little later, all right?
00:42:54Oh.
00:42:57Forgot my coat.
00:43:07Hey, Eric.
00:43:09Charlie.
00:43:11You have a plastic bag?
00:43:12No.
00:43:13Yeah, okay.
00:43:14Never mind.
00:43:25Hey, Devin.
00:43:26What's up?
00:43:27I'm sorry, Mr. D., but I got some not-so-great news about your apartment.
00:43:31Apparently, Harry Styles called and wanted your apartment for his L.A. piadettiere,
00:43:35offered a bunch of cash, and they gave it to him.
00:43:37Not cool.
00:43:38What are you talking about?
00:43:39And I get it.
00:43:40I mean, I'm totally a styler, but also not cool.
00:43:42No, no, no.
00:43:43Devin?
00:43:44But the good news is I checked out another place that we managed that you will love.
00:43:47I can show it to you this afternoon.
00:43:49Great.
00:43:50Okay.
00:43:51Well, then, let's go.
00:43:54Go ahead, Miss Gibbons.
00:43:55It's part of the process.
00:43:56Here.
00:43:57Oh, thanks, Bill.
00:43:59How's Devin?
00:44:00Is he helping?
00:44:01Oh, yeah.
00:44:02He's a real go-getter.
00:44:04Yeah.
00:44:05I don't know what I would have done without him in my divorces.
00:44:07Gotta have a bachelor pad.
00:44:08Wait till you start putting it to good use, right?
00:44:12How's Justin handling it?
00:44:14Who?
00:44:16Justin.
00:44:17Your son.
00:44:18Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:44:19No, he's great.
00:44:20I think our relationship's probably...
00:44:22It's as good as it's ever gonna be.
00:44:24You know?
00:44:25Uh-huh.
00:44:26Uh, I'm gonna go get a latte.
00:44:27Yeah.
00:44:28Grab me one, too.
00:44:31Hey, Dad.
00:44:32Oh, God.
00:44:33Oh.
00:44:34This is for a friend.
00:44:36I have a terrible habit.
00:44:37I should...
00:44:38He should quit.
00:44:39Yeah.
00:44:40Weren't you at school?
00:44:41They canceled it.
00:44:42You expect me to believe that?
00:44:43I believe you were holding that cigarette for a friend.
00:44:45Fair enough.
00:44:46What can I do for you?
00:44:47Well, I have these gift cards from your last birthday
00:44:49that you haven't used.
00:44:50These?
00:44:51Yeah.
00:44:52They're brand-new.
00:44:53Unlike your smoking habit,
00:44:54which I'm willing to keep a secret.
00:44:57If what?
00:44:58If you let me give you a makeover.
00:45:02What?
00:45:03Me?
00:45:04No.
00:45:05I really do appreciate the thought
00:45:07and the general weirdness of your sudden appearance here, but...
00:45:11Trust me.
00:45:14You need one.
00:45:16Desperately.
00:45:19Are you sure, honey?
00:45:20Yes, I'm sure.
00:45:21You look amazing, Dad.
00:45:22I don't feel like myself, honestly.
00:45:23Please, you just have to be confident.
00:45:25But when you see Mom, please tell her this was your idea.
00:45:27Okay.
00:45:28Okay?
00:45:29I had nothing to do with it.
00:45:30You did it for her.
00:45:31No, no, no, no, honey.
00:45:32This isn't a good idea for me to be lying to your mother right now.
00:45:34It's fine.
00:45:38Ooh, what happened to you?
00:45:41You like it?
00:45:42Uh-huh.
00:45:43Decided to change my look.
00:45:45In time for being single?
00:45:47No, I did it all for you.
00:45:49I don't believe that.
00:45:51Emma told me to say that.
00:45:54She showed up at my work, and she gave me a makeover.
00:45:57Emma?
00:45:58Yeah.
00:45:59Wasn't she at school?
00:46:00She said it was canceled.
00:46:04That's weird.
00:46:05Yeah.
00:46:06Tip of the iceberg.
00:46:08Weirdest day I've ever experienced.
00:46:10Well, maybe it's just because you know what's happening tonight.
00:46:14Hey!
00:46:15Hello.
00:46:16What is the deal with the deals?
00:46:18I don't know.
00:46:19Let's find out.
00:46:20Let's find out together.
00:46:21Come on in.
00:46:23How are you?
00:46:24Good.
00:46:25How are you?
00:46:26Thank you.
00:46:27Great.
00:46:29So, um...
00:46:31Sorry, family emergency.
00:46:33So, this is happening tonight.
00:46:35Mm, mm-hmm.
00:46:37I hear that, but what if?
00:46:39What if it doesn't?
00:46:41What do we have to do together to keep you two from uncoupling?
00:46:45I thought we were telling the kids tonight at dinner,
00:46:47and that's what we've spoken about.
00:46:49Feel us a little soon.
00:46:50Let's not rush into things.
00:46:51I'm sorry, did something change?
00:46:53Because last week you were...
00:46:54Last week was so last week, am I right?
00:46:57I say so many things, you know.
00:46:58Words just come out of my mouth.
00:47:00Just trying things.
00:47:01But this week, I'm getting this vibe, right,
00:47:04that you two are just great people.
00:47:06Great people who can either, hey, stay together,
00:47:09or make the same mistakes with less great people.
00:47:12I don't know, just spitballing here.
00:47:14Why don't we just stay together, you guys?
00:47:16Are you serious?
00:47:18I'm detecting a little bit of anger in that voice.
00:47:20Well, you've just turned around after months of discussion
00:47:24and changed your mind.
00:47:25True, I don't even know what I'm doing.
00:47:27There's nothing there.
00:47:28There's nothing there.
00:47:30There's nothing there.
00:47:33I know what I'm doing.
00:47:34I'm keeping you two from burning it all down.
00:47:37What are you doing?
00:47:38Putting out the fire.
00:47:39Cooling you off.
00:47:40Cool off.
00:47:41How about a candy, you guys?
00:47:43Let's sweeten the deal for the deals.
00:47:46Oh, you just have a great last name.
00:47:48I don't like my last name,
00:47:49but we can't pick our Danish stepfathers.
00:47:52Nothing was ever good enough for him.
00:47:55I'm okay.
00:47:57What about when he spritzed us with the water?
00:48:01What is wrong with this guy?
00:48:02That's so unprofessional.
00:48:04Who recommended him?
00:48:05Bill, Bill from your work.
00:48:08You're right.
00:48:09It was.
00:48:10A hundred percent.
00:48:11And by the way, you have lost like ten years.
00:48:13This haircut is so cute.
00:48:15Oh.
00:48:17Does that mean we're touching each other again?
00:48:20If so, maybe we go back to the house,
00:48:23take a nap.
00:48:25Are you serious?
00:48:27Oh, we're still married.
00:48:30Some countries you'd have to.
00:48:33Eric!
00:48:35Eric!
00:48:51Oh.
00:48:54Turns out all we needed to do to have a good nap was split up.
00:48:58No wonder half the country's divorced.
00:49:02Why did we stop trying?
00:49:05I don't know.
00:49:07It's just easier, right?
00:49:10Just give in to it.
00:49:13Entropy.
00:49:18You ever think there's a way back?
00:49:21What?
00:49:24You ever think...
00:49:33What did you say?
00:49:35Nothing.
00:49:38Nothing.
00:49:44Are you all right?
00:49:45Yeah.
00:49:46Fine.
00:49:51Ugh.
00:49:52I gotta make a work call.
00:49:54I got a new private.
00:49:55Hmm.
00:49:56Lucky guy.
00:49:57How do you know it's a guy?
00:49:59Lucky guess.
00:50:01I'll leave you in private.
00:50:03So you make your call.
00:50:04Private.
00:50:05What?
00:50:06Ooh.
00:50:08Now as you can see, everything is up to the minute,
00:50:10cutting edge, state of the art.
00:50:12Everything that the modern, hot, single man,
00:50:14especially with this look, could ask for.
00:50:16Okay, okay.
00:50:17And I want to be clear about this.
00:50:18This place is available immediately.
00:50:20Oh, yeah.
00:50:21It's all yours.
00:50:22No worries.
00:50:23And wait till the new hookups see this place.
00:50:24I'm talking muy entusiastic consent, hombre.
00:50:27Okay.
00:50:28Okay?
00:50:29And most of the residents are single,
00:50:30so you don't have to deal with any annoying kids.
00:50:33All right, right this way.
00:50:36All right.
00:50:37Here we go.
00:50:40And you are going to love this place.
00:50:43Okay?
00:50:46Oh, gets a little malfunctioning.
00:50:48Okay, hold on.
00:50:49Let's do a look.
00:50:51Here we go.
00:50:53Welcome to your new bachelor...
00:50:56Oh, my Lord.
00:51:01It was perfect this morning.
00:51:03You know, I'm sorry, Mr. Deal.
00:51:05What am I doing?
00:51:14I guess so.
00:51:20Oh, God, I forgot about that.
00:51:22Yeah, who would put it there?
00:51:24Maybe a crazy man?
00:51:26What?
00:51:28Were you two, uh...
00:51:30What?
00:51:32Never mind.
00:51:34Honey, can we talk?
00:51:37Who came up with the idea of a deadline?
00:51:39Maybe we, you know, could do it next week
00:51:42or a couple of weeks or the first of the month.
00:51:45But you've talked about being in limbo.
00:51:48Don't you want to move on with your life as a single guy?
00:51:51You know that's not what I want.
00:51:53And if there's any chance that we can work this out,
00:51:56isn't it worth waiting a moment?
00:51:59Do you really believe that?
00:52:05I know I haven't been fully present for a while.
00:52:12But you know, ever since Taylor was born,
00:52:15I'm like a ghost in this house.
00:52:18I certainly fell off your radar.
00:52:23I just...
00:52:25I have three kids.
00:52:26We have three kids, Jen.
00:52:28So where have you been?
00:52:32You're just so much better at it than me.
00:52:35Especially with Taylor.
00:52:37I could never reach him at all.
00:52:40And I could never reach you.
00:52:42I just, I don't know, just checked out.
00:52:45Like I've had one foot out the door for months.
00:52:48But today, something changed, really.
00:52:53God, I don't want to live my life
00:52:56without my family, without my kids,
00:53:01without you.
00:53:03How do I know you won't have one foot out of the door again tomorrow?
00:53:09I'm right here.
00:53:11Fully committed.
00:53:15And you'll let Emma keep dressing you?
00:53:21Yes, I will.
00:53:27Oh, Emma, you can go to your party.
00:53:30Really? Yay!
00:53:34Whoa.
00:53:36That's a lot of excitement for a party.
00:53:38Oh, I'm not going.
00:53:40I'm just happy, you know, to have the option.
00:53:46Okay.
00:54:16Dad?
00:54:28What are you doing?
00:54:30You know, my grandfather always said the clock can help you now and then.
00:54:35But it was always broken.
00:54:37I could never figure out the gears or the movements.
00:54:40But look at that.
00:54:42Galileo said that a pendulum will stay in motion
00:54:45unless a force acts to make it stop.
00:54:47Otherwise, it'll just go forward and backward and forward and backward.
00:54:52Great-grandfather would be very proud of you two.
00:54:55Text from your realtor?
00:54:57Your new bachelor pad is clean and ready.
00:54:59Now, wait.
00:55:00I didn't want to do this in front of the kids,
00:55:01but so much for being fully committed.
00:55:02No, no, no, no, no.
00:55:03This is a miscommunication.
00:55:04This was supposed to be a trial separation.
00:55:06You were going to stay at Dad's.
00:55:08You said Dad's was gross.
00:55:09I was trying to find a place that was comfortable for the kids.
00:55:11Yeah, and for your new girlfriend.
00:55:12There's no new girlfriend.
00:55:14There's a lonely bachelor pad.
00:55:15There's no bachelor pad.
00:55:17You better hope there is,
00:55:18because you need somewhere to stay tonight.
00:55:20And you know what?
00:55:22It's lucky for you you have a pad suitcase under your bed.
00:55:25No.
00:55:26And I saw it!
00:55:28Jen!
00:55:31Jen!
00:55:35Should I do the honors?
00:55:44Does he look tired to you?
00:56:14No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:56:44We can't be in three places at once.
00:56:45Oh, God.
00:56:46Hey, guys.
00:56:47What are you talking about?
00:56:48Nothing to do with you.
00:56:49Why are you guys always leaving me out of stuff?
00:56:50Ha!
00:56:51Ha!
00:56:52Ha!
00:56:53Ha!
00:56:54Ha!
00:56:55Ha!
00:56:56Ha!
00:56:57Ha!
00:56:58Ha!
00:56:59Ha!
00:57:00Ha!
00:57:01Ha!
00:57:02Ha!
00:57:03Ha!
00:57:04Ha!
00:57:05Ha!
00:57:06Ha!
00:57:07Ha!
00:57:08Ha!
00:57:09Ha!
00:57:10Ha!
00:57:11Ha!
00:57:12Ha!
00:57:14Ow.
00:57:33If I'm not in my room or eating breakfast, he comes down here.
00:57:36I don't want him involved with this.
00:57:38Involved in what?
00:57:39Have a nice trip.
00:57:40You better...
00:57:41Ah!
00:57:42Ow.
00:57:43How did you know that was going to happen?
00:57:47Taylor discovered that Grandpa's clock can turn back time.
00:57:50Seriously?
00:57:51That's so cool.
00:57:52Wait, no, no, no.
00:57:53Stop.
00:57:54Ah!
00:57:55Whoa.
00:57:56It really works.
00:57:57You can't tell anyone about this.
00:57:58Please, just, I don't know, go to school like it's a normal day.
00:57:59But I want to help you guys with whatever you're doing.
00:58:00Think of us working together.
00:58:01They turned back the clock.
00:58:02He's stuck with us now.
00:58:03Oh, my God.
00:58:04Oh, my God.
00:58:05Oh, my God.
00:58:06Oh, my God.
00:58:07Oh, my God.
00:58:08Oh, my God.
00:58:09Oh, my God.
00:58:10Oh, my God.
00:58:11He's stuck with us now.
00:58:12Fine.
00:58:13Max, we can't afford any screw-ups.
00:58:17This is a very delicate situation.
00:58:21Mom and Dad are going to break up at dinner if we don't do everything exactly right.
00:58:25Wait, what?
00:58:29Pay attention, Max.
00:58:31The clock is aging.
00:58:33It can't take much more.
00:58:35This day may be our last chance.
00:58:37Let me help.
00:58:39They're my mom and dad, too.
00:58:48So obvious.
00:58:49Dad packed this and not Mom.
00:58:51Ten pairs of underwear and two shirts.
00:58:53So both Max and Emma are sick today?
00:58:55That's right.
00:58:56Thanks for your help.
00:58:57That sounds so real.
00:58:58It's even better than the Obama filter.
00:59:00Hey, guys.
00:59:01What are you doing down here?
00:59:02I'm going to drive Max to school today, so you're off the hook.
00:59:05To school?
00:59:06But we just...
00:59:07Hey, honey.
00:59:08Did you know that we're having dinner tonight?
00:59:11We already told him.
00:59:12We're all really looking forward to it.
00:59:14It'll be so nice having dinner together for a change.
00:59:18Yeah, it's been a while.
00:59:20Oh, shoot.
00:59:21Watch out.
00:59:22What?
00:59:33Are you sure you can afford this?
00:59:35We need $8,000 day trading this morning.
00:59:38Is that like drug dealing?
00:59:39No.
00:59:40We knew which stocks were going up in the first hour,
00:59:42so I put all my babysitting money into them.
00:59:44Forget Mom and Dad.
00:59:45Let's go to Vegas.
00:59:46We can get one of those high-roller suites
00:59:48and have a sibling camp out.
01:00:03Hi, Mom.
01:00:04Richard sent me from school to get information for a report.
01:00:06Max, what are you...
01:00:08Max, this is Richard, my student.
01:00:10What's up, bro?
01:00:11Cool duds.
01:00:12Yeah, you can leave now.
01:00:13Wait, don't be rude.
01:00:14Right.
01:00:15Please leave now.
01:00:16I'm so sorry.
01:00:17No, it's cool.
01:00:18It's cool.
01:00:19Yeah.
01:00:20A rose on a mission.
01:00:21Catch you later?
01:00:22Okay.
01:00:23Tell me about your first date with Dad.
01:00:25How did you get here?
01:00:26I gotta get back to school.
01:00:27Go.
01:00:28First date.
01:00:29Okay, so your dad had tickets to a symphony,
01:00:32and it was classical music, which I'm not into,
01:00:34but I thought he was cute, so I said yes.
01:00:36We went there, and there was this concert hall,
01:00:39and next to it was a food truck selling beignets.
01:00:41What?
01:00:42Oh, a beignet.
01:00:43It's like a donut bread.
01:00:44They don't have a hole in it.
01:00:45Oh, anyway.
01:00:46So, anyway, your dad was like,
01:00:47Oh, they smell so good.
01:00:48We have to try one.
01:00:50We were running late, but I was like,
01:00:51Ah, okay, and...
01:00:52Oh, God, I'll never forget.
01:00:54That first bite.
01:00:56It was so delicious.
01:00:59And then it started snowing.
01:01:02It was so crazy, because, like, it never snows in town.
01:01:07And it was just so new.
01:01:10And it was so exciting.
01:01:14And it was just like the city, your dad, life.
01:01:20It was just...
01:01:22It was packed into this one magical moment.
01:01:25Are you okay?
01:01:27Um, yeah, yeah, sweetie.
01:01:29I just hope that someday you can experience that with someone.
01:01:33Because it really was special.
01:01:37Is it still in a circle?
01:01:39What, sweetie?
01:01:40Even without the hole.
01:01:42A beignet?
01:01:43No, honey, it's shaped like a square.
01:01:46Wait, what's this project for?
01:01:47I have to go.
01:01:49Wait, Max, how are you getting back to school?
01:01:56Symphony, snow, and a beignet truck.
01:01:58What truck?
01:01:59Like a donut, but square and hole-less.
01:02:01I have friends in a school orchestra, but where do we get a beignet truck?
01:02:04I have an idea about snow.
01:02:13Does he even care about the fish?
01:02:15Oh, I was just taking them.
01:02:16Max!
01:02:19Oh, Nemo?
01:02:23Oh, no!
01:02:25I had nothing to do with this. You did this for her.
01:02:27No, no, no, honey, this seemed a good idea for me to be lying to your mother right now.
01:02:30It's fine. You're fine.
01:02:37Harry Styles called. He wanted your apartment for his L.A. pépétière.
01:02:41The good news is, I checked out another place that we managed that you will love.
01:02:45You can see it right now.
01:02:58Oh!
01:03:21Get in here.
01:03:24We gotta go. Dad's gonna be here soon.
01:03:26Really? Not now. This is so fun!
01:03:37This is so much fun. I don't want this day to end.
01:03:40Don't say that.
01:03:41Okay.
01:03:53Let's go.
01:04:00There you go.
01:04:14Hey!
01:04:19What the hell? What'd you do to my car?
01:04:21Bumblebee stole my phone.
01:04:23The whole place is trashed.
01:04:25In position. Make the call.
01:04:27Good job, Max. We'll finish everything at home. You know what to do now.
01:04:30Devin, call for you on my line. It's Barack Obama.
01:04:35What?
01:04:42Hello?
01:04:43Is this Devin?
01:04:44Yeah, uh, Mr. President.
01:04:45Devin, I've been trying to reach you all day.
01:04:47Yeah!
01:04:48I need a bachelor van.
01:04:49Well, what about Michelle?
01:04:50Okay, well, are the girls coming?
01:04:52Yeah, believe me.
01:04:55Axeman to base. Mission accomplished.
01:04:57Let's do this!
01:05:03According to finder phone, you stole...
01:05:07You're Jen's kid.
01:05:08It's Emma and Taylor's fault.
01:05:10Let's go, Bumblebee.
01:05:12Oh! Oh, my God!
01:05:15This is amazing!
01:05:24Did you?
01:05:25I did not.
01:05:26I...
01:05:27I swear.
01:05:29Wow.
01:05:31It was pretty fantastic.
01:05:33That date. That whole night.
01:05:37Yeah, it was.
01:05:38It was.
01:05:39This is unusual.
01:05:42Smells good.
01:05:44Sure does.
01:05:45Should we get a beignet?
01:05:47I think we should.
01:05:50We're gonna have two beignets.
01:05:52Come on, Rhino.
01:05:57Do it.
01:06:00All right, here you guys go.
01:06:02Where's Max?
01:06:04They're just as good as they were back then.
01:06:06Back then, I was too terrified to even eat
01:06:08because I was afraid you were gonna slap me
01:06:10when I asked you to kiss me.
01:06:11I would have kissed you at any time during that date.
01:06:13I probably would have kissed you, hello.
01:06:16Now you tell me.
01:06:23So you didn't do this.
01:06:25I didn't do this.
01:06:27You didn't do this.
01:06:29I didn't do this.
01:06:31I didn't do this.
01:06:34It was Max.
01:06:35Our Max?
01:06:37He grilled me about our first date this morning.
01:06:47Wait, it's snowing?
01:06:49Snow.
01:06:50This is fantastic.
01:07:02I want to stay with you and the kids.
01:07:05There's no other home for me.
01:07:08I want you to stay, too.
01:07:18All right, Stuart Little, judgment day.
01:07:22Max, what happened?
01:07:24Find a phone.
01:07:25I told you to turn it off.
01:07:26I forgot.
01:07:27You know this little dude?
01:07:28Yeah, he's my brother.
01:07:29Unfortunately, neither of my parents are home right now,
01:07:32so thank you for bringing him back,
01:07:34but I'll just take it from here.
01:07:36Oh.
01:07:37Well, what's going on here?
01:07:38Nothing.
01:07:39Nothing.
01:07:40Doesn't look like nothing.
01:07:41Maybe your mom wants to hear about this.
01:07:43Let's go.
01:07:44No, no, no.
01:07:45Let's go, Captain Clifton.
01:07:46Tell your mom.
01:07:48Oh, Richard, what are you doing here?
01:07:51Your kid stole my phone.
01:07:53Max, is that true?
01:07:55I'm sorry, who are you?
01:07:56Who's this guy?
01:07:57My student.
01:07:58I'm a friend.
01:07:59A friend?
01:08:00How do you know my wife?
01:08:01Okay, let's not do this.
01:08:02I just wanted to let Jen know what a kid was up to.
01:08:04Eric?
01:08:05Hey, I thought that was you.
01:08:06Hey, hey, hey.
01:08:07How you doing?
01:08:08All right.
01:08:09Seems to be someone here has my phone.
01:08:11I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
01:08:12Who's this guy?
01:08:13Definitely is Eric's realtor.
01:08:15Realtor?
01:08:16Really?
01:08:17And that bachelor pad?
01:08:18It is ready.
01:08:19Wow, are you kidding?
01:08:20Hey, you know what?
01:08:21It's all good.
01:08:22I'm just going to get going.
01:08:23You want to go with him?
01:08:24Beignets, anyway.
01:08:25Nobody wants a beignet.
01:08:26Can they turn this off?
01:08:27I can make this right.
01:08:28Don't turn it back.
01:08:29Come on.
01:08:30It's a beautiful pad, Jen.
01:08:31I love it.
01:08:32Your timing wasn't exactly great on that.
01:08:33You need a lawyer in two months.
01:08:34No, hold on.
01:08:35Um.
01:08:36Not falling at night.
01:08:37Great sectional and a hot tub.
01:08:38Quiet!
01:08:39Mom and Dad, all we've been trying to do today is figure out how to keep you guys together.
01:08:50And you keep on screwing it up.
01:08:51Okay, Max, we can talk about this inside at dinner.
01:08:54No, we do not want to go to dinner.
01:08:55Because that's where you always announce it.
01:08:56Look, don't take my word for it.
01:08:57Taylor's relived the date 38 times.
01:08:58Max, that's enough.
01:08:59And every time you screw it up, Taylor has to rewind Grandpa's old clock.
01:09:00Taylor?
01:09:01No, Taylor, I told you I got this.
01:09:02Oh, no!
01:09:03Oh, no!
01:09:04Oh, no!
01:09:05Oh, no!
01:09:06Oh, no!
01:09:07Oh, no!
01:09:08Oh, no!
01:09:09Oh, no!
01:09:10Oh, no!
01:09:11Oh, no!
01:09:12Oh, no!
01:09:13Oh, no!
01:09:14Oh, no!
01:09:15Oh, no!
01:09:16Oh, no!
01:09:17Oh, no!
01:09:18Oh, no!
01:09:19Oh, no!
01:09:20Oh, no!
01:09:21Oh, no!
01:09:22Oh, no!
01:09:23Oh, no!
01:09:24Oh, no!
01:09:25Oh, no!
01:09:26Oh, no!
01:09:27Oh, no!
01:09:28Max, that's some sort of seizure this morning.
01:09:31Enter.
01:09:32We're looking at it now, Doctor.
01:09:34Is there nothing we can do?
01:09:37The best thing we can do is keep him calm.
01:09:40No surprises or trauma of any kind.
01:09:43What hospital are you at?
01:09:46Doctor, we're going to need a second opinion.
01:09:47This is a real emergency.
01:09:48Are you kidding?
01:09:49Nobody believes you!
01:09:50How'd that happen?
01:09:51You're the angel.
01:09:52God, I miss the days we used to put thermometers on lightbulbs.
01:09:55♪ I might as well see what that might entail ♪
01:09:57♪ I got some slight detail from your home, girl ♪
01:10:00♪ You know, I know your girlfriend's back today and, you know... ♪
01:10:02Why would thieves only steal the dining room table?
01:10:05Why not jewelry?
01:10:07Okay, so your dad and I wanted to talk to the three of you
01:10:10all in the same place about something important.
01:10:13This is important.
01:10:15No excuses. We need everyone at dinner.
01:10:18Your dad and I wanted to talk to the three of you.
01:10:20That's $1 million.
01:10:22And it's yours to keep. All you have to do is stay married.
01:10:24Where did that money come from?
01:10:26FBI! Nobody move!
01:10:28♪ You came to party tonight We gonna get downhill, yeah ♪
01:10:31♪ You have the time of your life, so you better... ♪
01:10:33So your dad and I wanted to talk to the three of you.
01:10:36Well, I thought that went pretty good.
01:10:38It was weird, though. It was like they already knew.
01:10:40Couldn't even...
01:10:42Hey! Hey!
01:10:44No!
01:10:46Get back here!
01:10:49♪ All right, all right, I get the stage cracking ♪
01:10:52♪ Should I get major backing? I do it for the people... ♪
01:10:54Listen, we need everybody at dinner tonight.
01:10:56Amazing news. I just won a playwriting contest
01:10:59that includes a four-year scholarship to college.
01:11:01Oh! Oh, honey!
01:11:03That's amazing! Congratulations!
01:11:05Um, there's just one condition.
01:11:07The parents of the winning student have to stay married for all four years.
01:11:10That's a very unusual condition for a scholarship.
01:11:14I mean, it's a religious foundation.
01:11:16It's like they just want to promote marriage, you know?
01:11:18But it's not a big deal. You guys are married.
01:11:21The American Foundation for Theater and Marriage?
01:11:23I've never heard of this before.
01:11:25Oh, sweetie, that seems bogus.
01:11:27I'm sorry, we'll have to do more research.
01:11:29No, forget it!
01:11:33Wow.
01:11:34Weird.
01:11:35They think the foundation is bogus.
01:11:37We just invent a new foundation, right?
01:11:39We need to try cancer again. I know I can nail it this time.
01:11:41No, look at the clock. We can't start over anymore.
01:11:43If we don't do anything, they're splitting up at dinner.
01:11:45Yeah, I know.
01:11:48What do you think, Taylor?
01:11:51Why don't you say something for once?
01:11:55I'm turning it back!
01:11:56No, you're not! Stop!
01:11:58No clock-walking!
01:11:59Oh my God! Not until we try everything!
01:12:01We have to try everything!
01:12:02You're gonna waste a day!
01:12:04It's over! I'm doing it now!
01:12:05No, you're not!
01:12:10Oh, God.
01:12:12Guess that settles that.
01:12:13We're stuck with today.
01:12:14It's not my fault!
01:12:15Of course it is!
01:12:17This is why I don't want you around!
01:12:19Why I always avoid you!
01:12:21You screw up everything!
01:12:23Only because you never think I can do anything!
01:12:25You can't!
01:12:26You're a walking catastrophe!
01:12:28Both of you!
01:12:29Don't pick on him!
01:12:32She didn't mean it, little girl.
01:12:45I'll never get this chance again
01:12:49There's rumble thunder coming round
01:12:53Rising from the empty ground
01:12:57Undercover forest floor
01:13:01Moving high above it all
01:13:05They never thought of beating down
01:13:09Awaken as I hit the ground
01:13:13Don't break my fall
01:13:17I'll lose it all
01:13:21Your touch is enough
01:13:25To bring me up
01:13:39I'm not turning it down!
01:13:41Uh, no, I...
01:13:44I actually want to collaborate.
01:13:45If you're still talking to me.
01:13:47I'm sorry.
01:13:52Alright.
01:13:54Cool.
01:13:55What do you have?
01:13:56Alright, I'll write what we can say.
01:13:58For the music part, I'll let you take that over.
01:14:02Yeah.
01:14:04I would say, you know, that they can't have each other
01:14:07even though, you know, they deserve each other.
01:14:10This is so good!
01:14:12It's like when pop songs are really upbeat
01:14:15but then you listen to the lyrics and they're really slow.
01:14:17I mean, the decorations, right?
01:14:18You don't have to be on stage.
01:14:19Tell me you're like, never jazzed.
01:14:21I mean, it's...
01:14:22Don't break my fall
01:14:26Don't break my fall
01:14:30I'll lose it all
01:14:34Your touch is enough
01:14:38To bring me up
01:14:45Just bring me up
01:15:03Hello?
01:15:08Hi, Mom!
01:15:09Hey!
01:15:10Take a seat.
01:15:11Okay.
01:15:15Hey.
01:15:16Hi.
01:15:20Dad, take a seat.
01:15:24Alright.
01:15:32This is the story of a couple,
01:15:34Jan and Derek,
01:15:36who have everything except for each other.
01:15:41By the end of today, they won't be a couple anymore.
01:15:46Just can't figure out how to live together.
01:15:50Father and mother
01:15:53Can't be together
01:15:57Ready?
01:15:59Friends, therapist, student, all say
01:16:02You just can't change today
01:16:04Dad, you just can't change today
01:16:06No way!
01:16:08Sister John says she's been trying to find a way to live together
01:16:13Because this would not stay together
01:16:16No matter the day, no matter the weather
01:16:28When one moment might have changed everything
01:16:31When one moment might have made sense of the ring
01:16:48That was...
01:16:51That was...
01:16:56What was that?
01:17:01Mom?
01:17:19Mom?
01:17:31Dad?
01:18:01Dad?
01:18:32Mom?
01:18:45Sorry.
01:18:47I thought I was off.
01:18:48We ought to do these sibling camp outs more often.
01:18:50Yeah, once in a while.
01:18:52We don't want it to lose its specialness.
01:18:55Hey, we should probably return these, right?
01:19:01Yeah.
01:19:32I see a dinner.
01:19:45Did he suspect anything?
01:19:47Right, like, uh, did this clock reset the same day 86 times before it exploded?
01:19:52I don't know, did he?
01:19:53Hey, good morning.
01:19:55What are you guys doing down here?
01:19:56Um, we were just...
01:19:58What are you guys doing down here?
01:19:59Um, we were just, uh, helping Taylor clean up.
01:20:04Such a bummer about the clock.
01:20:06It just broke.
01:20:08Come on, guys, let's go.
01:20:12Come on, bro, I saved you a shotgun.
01:20:21Taylor, come on, we're late for school.
01:20:23No, not tonight.
01:20:24Nope, I'm going to the movies tonight.
01:20:26I'm going to miss you.
01:20:27I know.
01:20:28I'm going to miss you.
01:20:56It's time to go
01:21:08It's time to go
01:21:26It's time to go
01:21:56It's time to go
01:22:26It's time to go
01:22:56It's time to go
01:23:26It's time to go
01:23:56It's time to go
01:24:26It's time to go
01:24:56It's time to go
01:25:27It's time to go
01:25:39It's time to go
01:25:50It's time to go
01:25:56It's time to go
01:26:26It's time to go