As Time Goes By S8/E4 'Surprising News' Geoffrey Palmer • Judi Dench
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00You must remember this, a kiss is still a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh, the fundamental
00:23things apply as time goes by.
00:42Morning. Morning.
00:44Want to sign for here? Oh.
00:49Well, the thing is... Oh, sorry, I'm always doing that.
00:56You have the form? Oh.
01:08And have you the pen? Yes, of course.
01:18Oh, I'm sorry, did I hurt you? No, you, er, I had the inky end in my mouth.
01:27It'll be all right, isn't it? Hmm. A sign and a print, please.
01:31I see next door's still up for sale. How long's that been now?
01:35Oh, ages. How bad?
01:37Well, it's probably because we've got the plague in our house.
01:41No, I was joking. No, no, er, just as we're talking about it,
01:45up pops the estate agent.
01:53That is a coincidence. Oh, no, it's more than that.
01:56It's paranormal. Are you sure? Oh, yes.
01:58I often find that paranormal things happen when I'm around.
02:01Be lucky. Yes, and you.
02:16Postman Pat's been... Girls have been at this paper again.
02:20That's marmalade, that is. Oh, don't make such a fuss, it's only a dab.
02:24He says paranormal things happen when he's around.
02:27He probably means he actually gets the right mail to the right house.
02:31Probably. This parcel's for Sandy. Oh.
02:38You said it was for Sandy. Yeah, I know, I know.
02:42You said it was for Sandy. Yeah, I know, I know.
02:45Think I'll go for a little walk? Why?
02:48I just feel like it. Why?
02:50Don't ask so many questions. Get the marmalade off your paper.
02:54Here.
03:24Oh.
03:39Morning.
03:41Morning.
03:55You weren't very long. Well, I said a short walk.
03:58That was hardly worth going out of the house for.
04:00You could have just walked up and down the hall.
04:02Coffee? No, thanks.
04:06Some people are looking at the house next door. Oh, yes.
04:09I see, hence the little walk.
04:11The two events were just completely coincidental.
04:14They've got two children. Monsters?
04:17No, I just said they've got two children.
04:19And what about the parents? I assume they had shifty eyes.
04:23You're just not interested, are you?
04:25Well, not interested in speculation. When somebody buys it, we'll find out what they're like, won't we?
04:28Yeah, and in the meantime...
04:30What, in the meantime?
04:32Oh, all right, nothing.
04:34Any post for me? No.
04:37Oh. Where's the postcard from?
04:40I don't know. It's addressed to you.
04:42But the message is next to the name and address.
04:45Tell me you didn't read it.
04:47Well, the card was addressed to you. It might be something private.
04:50Well, who writes something private on the back of a postcard?
04:53For that matter, who wants to write something private to me?
04:56You've got a Valentine's card. Oh, that was from you.
04:59Oh, it's from Penny and Stephen.
05:02Well, they're in Spain.
05:04I suppose permanently is too much to hope for.
05:08They're going to pop in and see us on the way back.
05:10Oh, good. When is this?
05:12Sat, they say. Sat. That's tomorrow.
05:15Bang goes tomorrow.
05:17Oh, and they'd like to stay over?
05:19Bang goes the whole weekend.
05:21Penny is my sister-in-law.
05:23Yes, I know.
05:25If this postcard had arrived sooner, we could have arranged to be away for the weekend.
05:29I suppose it's too late now.
05:31Why do people write P.S.'s in such tiny writing?
05:36We've got a lovely...
05:38Bunch of coconut?
05:42We've got a lovely surprise for you.
05:46Am I a mean-spirited person to immediately feel apprehensive about that?
05:50Yes.
05:52Oh.
05:53Which makes two of us mean-spirited.
05:56Oh, cheer up. It isn't the end of the world.
05:59I really look forward to coming home on a Friday evening.
06:02It's the end of the week. The whole weekend to look forward to.
06:05Actually, Judy and I had planned to be out all day tomorrow.
06:09Oh, where?
06:11Alt Towers.
06:14And Penny and Stephen are going to stay over on Saturday night.
06:17Now, that'll be nice, won't it?
06:19Oh, Mum.
06:20Well, I could hardly say no when it was on the back of a postcard.
06:23I suppose that means we'll have to spring-clean our rooms.
06:26No, just tidy up a little bit.
06:28Penny and Stephen could go in our room, you could go in with Sandy,
06:31and Lionel and I have your room, if that's all right for both of you.
06:34What we need is a sofa bed.
06:37I don't think you'll make a habit of it, at least I hope not.
06:40Oh, by the way, Sandy, there's a parcel for you.
06:43Oh, is there?
06:46Oh, yes.
06:48Aren't you going to open it?
06:50Later.
06:51Oh.
06:52I left the vacuum cleaner on the landing.
06:54You didn't do our rooms as well, did you?
06:56Oh, they're the forbidden territories, as far as I'm concerned.
06:59And no, I didn't leave any of my knickers lying around.
07:03Oh, and just to add to the general note of gaiety,
07:06did Jean tell you about Penny and Stephen's surprise?
07:09What surprise?
07:11Well, I don't know yet.
07:13The card just said they had a lovely surprise for us.
07:17That makes all four of us mean-spirited, doesn't it?
07:22Please, just behave.
07:24All right, all right.
07:25But if she produces holiday snaps, I might just doze off.
07:28You dare?
07:31Honour!
07:34Hello, Penny. Good holiday?
07:36Oh, fantastica.
07:37Oh, poor Jean.
07:39You look rather drawn round the eyes.
07:42How about you, Lionel?
07:43Well, I'm rather drawn round the eyes, too.
07:45How is, um, Stephen?
07:47Oh, fiddling with the cases.
07:49I'll give him a hand.
07:50Well, come in, Penny.
07:52Oh, Uncle Stephen, are here.
07:55You should have brought the porter with us.
07:57Well, catch your breath. I'll bring that last one.
07:59Oh, thanks.
08:00Hello, Uncle Stephen.
08:02Hello.
08:03Hello, Stephen.
08:05Hello, you two.
08:07My word, don't you both look pretty?
08:09You always look so pretty.
08:11Uncle Stephen, it's so kind of you to say that,
08:13but perhaps just this once you shouldn't say it in front of Aunt Penny.
08:17Why ever not?
08:18She doesn't mind, does she?
08:19She doesn't mind me saying how pretty the girls look.
08:22That man's got a death wish.
08:25Now, that's me by the fountain in the grounds of the hotel.
08:30And, uh, this is me again by the same fountain,
08:35but from a different angle.
08:38Ah, where's this, Stephen?
08:41By a statue.
08:43Yes, I can see that. Where was the statue?
08:46Uh, let me think. We saw quite a lot of statues.
08:49Well, never mind. It's me by a statue.
08:52Now, now, here we are.
08:54Now, this is me again in the hotel dining room,
08:58or Commodore, as we say.
09:01Wait a minute.
09:03What's that waiter doing behind me?
09:06Just larking about, I expect.
09:08I never did take to that man.
09:11Ah, oh, it's one of Stephen.
09:15Where is he?
09:16There, in the background.
09:19As you see, he's watching me flamenco.
09:22Olé, flamenco!
09:25Your Spanish is quite fluent, isn't it?
09:28Poco.
09:29She picked up a Spanish chap, you see.
09:32Oh!
09:33I came to an arrangement with a regular taxi driver,
09:37if that's what you mean, Stephen.
09:39Now, and that's me on some steps.
09:41Where were they, then?
09:42Well, they were near a restaurant.
09:46Because Stephen here fell down them
09:48just after he'd taken the photograph.
09:50Good lunch, Stephen.
09:51It was, actually.
09:53Well, that's the lot.
09:55Oh.
09:56No, no.
09:57No, no, it isn't.
09:58I know there was a wallet somewhere here.
10:03No, that's the lot.
10:05I was sure there was something else.
10:07Never mind.
10:08I'll send you all copies of everything anyway.
10:12Ah, ah!
10:13There they are.
10:14I knew there was some more.
10:16Actually, I think that we'd better start the supper.
10:19Oh, yes, yes, we had.
10:20It's only five o'clock.
10:22Yeah, but it's quite a complicated recipe.
10:24Right, just a minute.
10:26Penny, you haven't told us about your surprise.
10:28Your lovely surprise.
10:30Are you miming something?
10:32No, I suddenly feel rather tired.
10:34I mean, what with all that luggage
10:36and getting him through those customs.
10:38Look, would you mind if I snatched a siesta before supper?
10:41No, no, no, not at all.
10:43But what about the surprise?
10:45Well, we are thinking of going to live in Spain.
10:48We found our dream house.
10:50Look, Stephen, carry my bags up, will you, please?
10:53Right-o.
10:54More and on.
10:59Are we going to live in Spain?
11:01Yes!
11:03Why?
11:04Oh, don't bother with reasons, Lionel.
11:06Just be happy.
11:07Yes.
11:08Starts with a warm glow just here, doesn't it?
11:11I shall miss Uncle Stephen always saying how nice we look, though.
11:14Yes.
11:15Sweet, isn't it?
11:16Now, don't start about what we shall miss.
11:17Just think what we shan't miss.
11:18Well, that could take some time.
11:20You know, you two could start supper.
11:22Oh, no, I only volunteered to get out of the room.
11:25Perhaps we should have gone to Auckland Towers after all.
11:27Just think of it this way.
11:28The earlier we eat, the sooner we can suggest we all go to bed early.
11:31Oh, yeah.
11:32Successful idea.
11:34Oh, by the way, Sandy.
11:35Hmm?
11:36I opened your parcel.
11:37That's all right.
11:38I know what's in it.
11:44A...
11:46A what?
11:47Awesome.
11:49What are you talking about?
11:51Well, no-one ever ends a sentence like that.
11:53I know what's in it.
11:55They say, I know what's in it.
11:56A...
11:57thing.
11:59Or some...
12:01sentence.
12:03Let's have a drink.
12:06It is two-way mirrors, you know.
12:08What two-way mirrors?
12:10At the airport.
12:11Didn't you see that documentary on television about customs?
12:15They spy on you as you come through.
12:18I'm still not with you.
12:19Well, you know, you see.
12:21You know they're spying on you.
12:23Looking for guilty expressions.
12:24And before you know it, you've got a guilty expression.
12:27You got called in, then?
12:28No.
12:30Drink, Stephen?
12:31Thanks very much.
12:33So tell us about your dream house, Stephen.
12:35Ah, it was very lovely.
12:37On a hillside overlooking the harbour.
12:40Beautiful terrace.
12:41Swimming pool.
12:42Must have been five or six acres of land.
12:44And it's for sale.
12:45Oh, no.
12:47It's going to be for sale.
12:48Not as far as I know.
12:50But Penny said you'd seen your dream house.
12:54Ah, she should have said A dream house.
12:56She'd like to build one like it.
12:58Build?
13:00Well, not herself, naturally.
13:03It could take ages.
13:06Yeah, it's all manana over there, you know.
13:10Mind you, over here, they say straight away and mean the same thing.
13:17How much do dentists get paid?
13:20How should I know? Why?
13:21Well, I was just wondering how Stephen can suddenly afford to buy a mansion in Spain.
13:27Perhaps he whips out a few gold fillings while his patients are at home.
13:32He's not the type.
13:34Stephen's back on two-way mirrors.
13:36I thought I'd come and see how you were getting on.
13:38Two-way mirrors?
13:39Is this a Stephen we don't know about?
13:42Customs.
13:43Has he said any more about the dream house in Spain?
13:45Yes, he says it's on a hill overlooking the harbour with a big terrace and a swimming pool and seven acres of land.
13:51My God.
13:52It is a mansion.
13:53How much is that going to cost?
13:55Oh, he's not planning to buy it. He's going to build one like it.
13:57Build one?
13:59How much do dentists get paid?
14:02I asked that.
14:03Well, I just said they must be planning to sell up over here. That's money.
14:07Yeah, enough to buy acres and sort of house they're talking about.
14:11It's got to be a thousand pounds a tooth.
14:13Well, they must have thought about it.
14:15It's not our business anyway.
14:17No, no, quite.
14:20I'll try and steer the conversation round after dinner.
14:25I must say, you girls, that was a delicious dinner.
14:28Nice to get some English food in one again.
14:31Yes, very acceptable. I've run Mrs Pye a lot.
14:34I don't know why. You had diarrhoea for three days after breakfast.
14:41I do wish you wouldn't use that word, Stephen.
14:44What it's called.
14:46What sort of dishwasher will you have in Spain, Penny?
14:50Very odd question.
14:52No, it's not. I'm just interested.
14:54I hadn't really thought that far ahead.
14:58But I may leave the choice to ourself, Adora.
15:01Oh, now, that means servant, doesn't it?
15:04I didn't know you understood Spanish.
15:06Oh, just a little.
15:08Oh.
15:09A servant.
15:11I always fancied learning Hungarian.
15:14Hungarian, why?
15:16I don't know, really.
15:18Well, it won't do you much good in Spain.
15:20But you could take it up as a hobby.
15:22I mean, you'll need a hobby as you're retiring.
15:25Retiring? Stephen's retiring.
15:27Stephen's retiring.
15:28Oh, good night, Stephen.
15:33Sorry.
15:34Well, good for you. It's only a bit early, though.
15:37I suppose so.
15:38But you reach a stage where you simply don't want to look at anybody else's teeth ever again.
15:42Tooth for tea.
15:47I suppose you know the Spanish for gardener, Judith?
15:51No, I don't.
15:53Well, we shall be having one of those as well.
15:57Um, just what is the Spanish for gardener?
16:00Possibly two.
16:01Two?
16:02Two.
16:03I wonder what the Hungarian for two is.
16:06Oh, Stephen, nobody knows.
16:09A Hungarian would.
16:12Lionel, will you please stick to the subject?
16:14What is the subject?
16:15Penny and Stephen's house in Spain.
16:18Actually, it's beginning to sound more like an estate.
16:21I wouldn't go so far as that.
16:23Oh, perhaps a little one.
16:26Is Stephen retiring?
16:28Yeah, we told you that.
16:30Yes, I know you did.
16:33Uh, look, I hate to be nosy, but...
16:37Um, Judith, I suppose you know that the Spanish for fiesta is actually a fiesta.
16:47Uh, what do you hate about being nosy?
16:50Oh, just about everything, really.
16:52Then there's Armenian.
16:56Is this another language you'd like to learn, Stephen?
16:58No, I was just thinking how many languages there are.
17:01So, will you be getting a swimming pool as well?
17:04Essential.
17:05Well, well, a swimming pool and servants and gardeners.
17:10Yes, yes.
17:11Oh, I see what you're getting at.
17:13Where do you find all the money for this?
17:15No!
17:21That's none of our business.
17:23Sorry?
17:26Right, Gene.
17:28Still, I suppose there's no harm in telling.
17:31Venture plans.
17:33All down to old Penn, that.
17:35She insisted we set some up the minute we got married.
17:38I've had her tasting my food ever since.
17:42Oh, can you move over a bit?
17:45Yes, I can, if you want me to fall out of bed.
17:49Look, it's no good wriggling for space because there isn't any.
17:53A truce, then?
17:55A truce.
17:59But you've no sense of honour, have you?
18:01Look, it's only for one night.
18:03That is carved in stone.
18:06You weren't very quiet this evening.
18:08I got to thinking about pension plans.
18:10Why?
18:11Because I haven't got any.
18:13I have.
18:15Well, I know you sound so smug about it.
18:17I'm not sounding smug about it, I'm just stating a fact.
18:20How long have you had these pension plans, then?
18:23Years.
18:24Oh.
18:25Well, I haven't.
18:26No, you just said that.
18:28I just never thought of it before.
18:30Well, don't worry.
18:32What's mine is yours, remember?
18:34We'll be all right.
18:35Hmm.
18:39What happens when I go mad?
18:42What happens when I go mad?
18:45Are you planning to go mad?
18:47Well, of course not, but it does happen.
18:50Now, how many mad people do you actually know?
18:55Well, not mad.
18:57Funny.
18:59They're not cheap, you know, those homes.
19:01Are you going to a home now?
19:04Well, I'd have to.
19:05No knowing what I'd get up to if you kept me here.
19:08This flight's a fancy go. This isn't a very cheerful one, is it?
19:11No.
19:12But if you did keep me here, to save money,
19:15you couldn't really invite anybody into the house, could you?
19:18Oh, stop it.
19:22Just a few royalties from the book,
19:25the capital from the sale of the flat, that's all I've got.
19:29I never thought the day would come Penny was cleverer than me.
19:33What about the girls? Have they got pension plans?
19:35No, they're children.
19:36They're not.
19:38It rushes up on you, time.
19:41So which one of us is going to push the supermarket trolley?
19:45At least you'll be all right.
19:47I've told you, we'll both be all right.
19:50Provided I don't go funny.
19:53They're not cheap, you know, those homes.
19:56I tell you what,
19:57I'll keep you in a dog kennel in the cellar, how's that?
20:02You're not taking this very seriously, are you?
20:04Well, am I meant to?
20:05The mention of pension plans,
20:06and you're suddenly talking about going mad.
20:09That might be a bit excessive.
20:11Oh, really?
20:12I just wonder what I'm contributing to our future, that's all.
20:16You.
20:18Now, go to sleep.
20:21I'll try.
20:24And one more thing, Lionel,
20:26if you go mad in the night, do it quietly.
20:28You know how hysterical Penny can get.
20:31Morning, Aunt Penny.
20:33You're not leaving Uncle Stephen behind, are you?
20:35No, I'm just going for a little walk,
20:37or paseo, as we say.
20:39I'll answer that.
20:43Hey, hey, Penny.
20:45Binos dios.
20:47Salud.
20:48That's not Spanish.
20:50What was yours?
20:53Spanish.
20:54Buona fortuna.
20:56May I come in?
20:57Of course.
20:58Hi, Lion.
20:59Hello, Alastair.
21:00Is the delicious Sandy about?
21:02Yes.
21:03Don't you mean Judith?
21:04No.
21:05Sandy.
21:06Do you think we can have a quick word first?
21:08Any time, any place, love.
21:10Is this something I should know about?
21:13No.
21:18So, shoot.
21:20Alastair, I'd like your advice.
21:22Hey, I'm honoured.
21:23What's the problem?
21:24I need some money.
21:25Hey, I'm honoured.
21:26What's the problem?
21:27I need some money.
21:28Say no more.
21:29How much?
21:30No, no, no, I need to make some money.
21:32Oh, I...
21:34I see.
21:35Right.
21:36You didn't say that with any confidence at all.
21:39Well, it's just the book.
21:41My Life in Kenya.
21:42It's not exactly setting the world on fire.
21:44I know.
21:45Last quarter's royalties were £32.