Easy Virtue 2008 ‧ Comedy/Romance ‧ Jessica Biel, Colin Firth, Kristin Scott Thomas and Ben Barnes
Mrs. Whittaker is eagerly waiting for her son John's arrival but when he gets Larita, an American widow home, things get nasty. Soon the game of manipulation starts affecting the whole family.
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00:00:00Good evening, good evening, good evening, hello Chas, thank you for coming, we have a long
00:00:27way to go, we have a long way to go, we have a long way to go, we have a long way to go,
00:00:54we have a long way to go, we have a long way to go, we have a long way to go, we have a long way to go,
00:01:14he melts my foolish heart in every single scene, although I'm quite aware that here and there are traces,
00:01:30I've been cared about before, Lord knows I'm not a fool girl, I'm a girl and they shouldn't care,
00:01:49Lord knows I'm not a schoolboy in the flow of a purse, a parent of a girl, there's a diversity of reasons why,
00:02:15I feel like a saint and the only lady in the world, because I'm a man of the Lord,
00:02:27I feel like a saint and the only lady in the world, because I'm a man of the Lord,
00:02:57the boy.
00:03:15She's the first lady racer, but she didn't actually win, she crossed the line first, it's so exciting.
00:03:22Nearly as exciting as crossing your mother.
00:03:24I think we can all ignore that.
00:03:27Oh, what is that man doing?
00:03:35Jackson!
00:03:37What did I tell you? Get the camellias out of the rain and put them by the front door before the guests arrive.
00:03:43Salve Jenny of Jackson's appalling pruning and send it to Mrs. Hallborough, she's kindly offered up a leg of button for tonight's dinner.
00:03:51Do your game of fetch, Marianne.
00:03:53But mother, Reverend Burton has asked me to join the font, my hands are clearly full.
00:03:58I'll go.
00:04:00Uncle George has posted the most grisly clippings of the Valentine's Day massacre.
00:04:05Hilda.
00:04:06Seven terrified men cut down in a hail of automatic gunfire, made worse by the strays that came to lap the curdled blood.
00:04:16Hilda.
00:04:17The devil dogs, the hounds of hell.
00:04:19The leg of lamb.
00:04:21Now.
00:04:26Why do you try and marry off to gentry when plainly you should prefer an undertaker?
00:04:31Seating.
00:04:32Seating.
00:04:34I'm putting Sarah on your left and Philip on your right, so please try and make an effort to be civil.
00:04:39Right.
00:04:41I shall go and brush up on my very small talk.
00:04:46It might be an awkward meal.
00:04:48For all we know, Sarah's grazing in greener pastures.
00:04:52Whilst your brother sows his wild oats in the south of France with his floozy.
00:04:57Keep the home fires burning until his highness wanders home.
00:05:03Like father did.
00:05:04Yes, like father did.
00:05:17I've got news, everybody!
00:05:20You alright, sir?
00:05:22No, and you?
00:05:23Coping, sir.
00:05:24Here, here. Well done.
00:05:26Well done?
00:05:27They look like they're waiting for a firing squad. Can't it make them all relaxed?
00:05:31Last meal in a cigarette hunt?
00:05:34I can't believe it!
00:05:36You'll never guess!
00:05:38Houdini escaped the Chinese water torture only to die of a burst appendix.
00:05:42How ghastly!
00:05:44Oh, and mother's got a telegram.
00:05:47Mr and Mrs Whittaker, your mother.
00:05:51What did it say, father?
00:05:53Perhaps your mother should read this first.
00:05:57That stupid, stupid, stupid boy!
00:06:00What's happened?
00:06:02Has there been an accident?
00:06:03It's done. He's married that fl... fl...
00:06:06Francophile?
00:06:08Photographer?
00:06:09Pharmacy?
00:06:10Why are you smirking?
00:06:12Deploying a smile, dear.
00:06:13One member of this family may actually be happy.
00:06:15Oh, don't be absurd.
00:06:16You don't know anything about this woman.
00:06:18Ferber!
00:06:19Ferber!
00:06:21Oh, not again!
00:06:23Madam.
00:06:24Oh, Lord have mercy.
00:06:26Mr John is coming home with his... with his wife.
00:06:30Yes, their bags have just arrived. Congratulations, madam.
00:06:32I'll be the judge of that.
00:06:33Clear up this mess and... and get cooked to send up a hand.
00:06:36Oh, this will suddenly be over. They'll be halfway here.
00:06:38Just chop, chop, Ferber. Don't dress the mutton as ham.
00:06:40Oh, very sharp, Jim. Don't cut yourself.
00:06:43John married this lousy housewife!
00:06:50A room with a view and you
00:06:56And no one to worry us
00:06:59No one to hurry us through
00:07:02This dream we've found
00:07:08There she blows.
00:07:10Behold the country cottage.
00:07:12Oh, Lord, it's wonderful.
00:07:15It's beautiful.
00:07:16She blows.
00:07:17Behold the country cottage.
00:07:19Oh, Lord, it's enormous.
00:07:21So I lied about gingerbread hedges and obese little children.
00:07:25How hard a swim is the moat?
00:07:27Smoke and mirrors, darling.
00:07:29Smoke and mirrors.
00:07:33Oh, by the way, smoking don't.
00:07:35Apparently it wilts the azaleas.
00:07:37Oh, that makes no sense. Speak English.
00:07:39It will be real, darling.
00:07:42Oh, give me back the wheel of my car.
00:07:45I'm going back to Detroit.
00:07:54Here they come!
00:07:58Mr. John and his wife are about to arrive.
00:08:00I can't see them.
00:08:02Your tunnel vision?
00:08:12Smile, Marion.
00:08:13I don't feel like smiling.
00:08:15You're English, dear. Fake it.
00:08:26The prodigal son returns in a blaze of grandeur.
00:08:30Father.
00:08:31Jay.
00:08:34Hilda.
00:08:35Welcome, Madam.
00:08:36Oh.
00:08:37Mr. George.
00:08:38George.
00:08:39George.
00:08:48Oh, darling, sorry, sorry.
00:08:53Mother, this is my wife, Loretta.
00:08:57Mrs. Whitaker, the pleasure is all mine.
00:09:00Oh, you're American.
00:09:02And very welcome, dear Whitaker.
00:09:04Now, this is my father.
00:09:05I fought alongside many of your countrymen, Loretta.
00:09:08It's an honor to have a comrade in the family.
00:09:10Thank you.
00:09:11I do hope I'm not a disappointment.
00:09:13Far from it.
00:09:14And my two little blisters, Hilda and Marion.
00:09:18Aren't you the woman who won the Grand Prix?
00:09:20Ah, yes, first place before disqualification.
00:09:22Apparently, you need chest hair to change gears in Monaco.
00:09:26I saw you in the paper.
00:09:28I cut your head out. I could just die.
00:09:32Oh, further, that suitcase to the drawing room, and do be careful.
00:09:36Marion, girly, you're not a bit like what we imagined.
00:09:39Oh, someone older, I expect. Awfully sorry about that.
00:09:45Before the frostbite sets in.
00:09:47Oh, yes, I'm so looking forward to getting acquainted with the mother of my panda.
00:09:51You'll find me quite uncomplicated, I'm afraid.
00:09:55Oh, what are you doing?
00:09:57Carrying you over the finish line.
00:10:00Oh.
00:10:03Venus de Milo, meet my Venus Detroit.
00:10:06Oh, hello.
00:10:08Mother's turned our old nursery into a boudoir.
00:10:10Oh, I wouldn't exactly call it a boudoir, Hilda.
00:10:12Marvelous are those grubbing memories of little Johnny.
00:10:16Who didn't even have time to raid the hothouse.
00:10:18I only hope we can make you comfortable.
00:10:20Oh, please don't go to any trouble. We're only staying a few days.
00:10:26Aren't we, Johnny?
00:10:28Of course. And for our next surprise...
00:10:35What on earth is that?
00:10:39It's Master's voice, a wedding gift from our steward.
00:10:41How divine. You should have got married years ago.
00:10:44Right, another gym, another sunny honeymoon.
00:11:00Come on, little blessed one.
00:11:02Oh, I see you've met the Grand Master.
00:11:05Yes, we live close by.
00:11:08Oh, a continental education. Not all of us have been so fortunate.
00:11:13Yes, sir.
00:11:14What an emotional depiction of the French Postal Service, Mrs. Whittaker.
00:11:17Calm down, Larry. Not Mrs. Whittaker. It's Mother now.
00:11:20Oh, I don't think we're quite ready for that yet, Johnny.
00:11:23Well, since time is so clearly against us,
00:11:26why don't you show Larissa up to the nursery?
00:11:29Dinner's at eight.
00:11:32You didn't tell them?
00:11:34One bombshell at a time, darling.
00:11:36That's not fair. You're a poor man of authority.
00:11:38How long are we staying?
00:11:40A few days.
00:11:42I shouldered the shortcomings of this family for generations,
00:11:45and what do I get in return? A few days.
00:11:47And look at her. What am I supposed to do with the bauble of a woman?
00:11:50Hang her.
00:11:51I think she's splendid.
00:11:52Oh, do you, Hilda? Well, we can all relax.
00:11:55She's not what I expected.
00:11:56She's exactly what I expected.
00:11:58Well, surely not exactly. She wasn't drunk.
00:12:00Oh, very funny, Jim. Reduce this to burlesque.
00:12:03She looks so expensive.
00:12:05Very.
00:12:07I like her.
00:12:08Yes, Jim, we all know what you like.
00:12:11Mother!
00:12:19We have all been sent to our wombs.
00:12:24So toasty.
00:12:25Economics in action.
00:12:27Keeps half the house closed to save on heating.
00:12:30Well, that explains the frosty reception.
00:12:33Well, darling,
00:12:35you're the only one.
00:12:38Oh.
00:12:59Well?
00:13:00She's lovely, John. I'm very proud of you.
00:13:02Thanks, Father.
00:13:04John?
00:13:06How long is a few days?
00:13:08Mother, Loretta and I would like to find a home in London.
00:13:11But this is your home.
00:13:13A home of their own.
00:13:17But, Panda, we need you here.
00:13:19Since you went off on your quick jaunt around the Riviera,
00:13:22we've had to let go of six more people.
00:13:24Mother, if you'd just listened to me and taken on some machinery...
00:13:27Oh, wouldn't that be a good idea?
00:13:28I could run the entire estate single-handedly.
00:13:30Congratulations on your insight
00:13:33and your spontaneity.
00:13:34Sarah and Philip are coming to dinner tonight,
00:13:36and I have got a table plan
00:13:38and take the League of Nations to unravel.
00:13:40Tonight?
00:13:41That's absolutely splendid.
00:13:42Oh, don't be so fickle in your affections, John.
00:13:45Sarah might not be as accommodating as you expect.
00:13:48Codswallop. She'll be delighted.
00:13:50Mother was so desperate for her hand in marriage
00:13:52she should have asked for it herself.
00:13:54Strange as it may seem, I agree with your sister.
00:13:56I think you're wrong.
00:13:58On certain things, yes.
00:14:00Courtney.
00:14:01Really? Really.
00:14:03Really.
00:14:04If Edgar were here, he'd do the manly thing.
00:14:07What? Run away?
00:14:13Here they come.
00:14:30And the chequered flag goes to...
00:14:33Fast work, John.
00:14:35I should have written you, Sarah,
00:14:37but it all happened so fast, I didn't know where I was.
00:14:39In Narita's arms, it seems.
00:14:41Please don't be disappointed.
00:14:42Of course I'm disappointed.
00:14:44But tell me you're happy, and I'll tell you you're forgiven.
00:14:47You're the top.
00:14:49You're Mahatma Gandhi. You're the top.
00:14:51And don't break out the brandy just yet.
00:14:54How can I not?
00:14:56Have I missed something?
00:14:59Oh, you plonker.
00:15:01Rule one, push a sleeping cow.
00:15:04Rule two, get out of the way.
00:15:07Rule three, remember rule two.
00:15:09Sarah.
00:15:11Oh, it's so lovely to see you.
00:15:13I hear your poor father is not having a good day.
00:15:15I'm afraid not. He sends his love home.
00:15:17You are a jolly good sport,
00:15:19turning up like this, that's all I can say.
00:15:21I wouldn't miss it for the world.
00:15:23Narita is such a pretty name.
00:15:25Yes, excellent for musical comedy.
00:15:28Hilda!
00:15:29Philip, I hear the cow's in a terrible way.
00:15:31I've sent flowers.
00:15:32And did she eat them?
00:15:33Oh, touche.
00:15:34Good evening to you all.
00:15:37Nobody told me tonight was fancy dress.
00:15:39Then why have you come as the village idiot?
00:15:44I think I'm snagged.
00:15:46Let me help you with that.
00:15:52Holy mother.
00:15:54Panda.
00:15:56You're forgiving.
00:15:58Tenfold.
00:16:05Sarah Hurst.
00:16:06I'd like to introduce my wife,
00:16:09Narita Whittaker.
00:16:11Got it.
00:16:12Do like the sound of that.
00:16:14Sarah, finally.
00:16:16Johnny talks about you constantly.
00:16:18How very annoying for you.
00:16:20I hope we can be friends.
00:16:22We already are.
00:16:24Congratulations.
00:16:26I'd like to be friends too.
00:16:28Narita, my tiresome brother.
00:16:30The dishonorable Philip Hurst.
00:16:32Charmed, my dear lady.
00:16:34Indeed.
00:16:35Philip, won't you escort me in?
00:16:37Of course.
00:16:38My beautiful little sausage fingers.
00:16:40Well, that's whet my appetite.
00:16:42Shall we adjourn to the dining room?
00:16:44And toast to my beautiful bride.
00:16:46Yes, John.
00:16:47Had we known there was to be a wedding reception,
00:16:49we could have all have lashed out on Taffeta.
00:16:51She's a lot like drowning.
00:16:52Quite pleasant when she stops struggling.
00:16:54So tell me, John,
00:16:55was Narita's family able to attend the wedding?
00:16:58Yes.
00:17:05No, no.
00:17:06No cabbage? No?
00:17:07There's lots to do, Narita.
00:17:09You ride, don't you?
00:17:10Boats, cars or planes?
00:17:12No, horses, silly.
00:17:14Ah, yes, horses.
00:17:16Faulty steering and unreliable brakes.
00:17:19I'm stealing that for stirrup cup.
00:17:21Stirrup what?
00:17:22Cup.
00:17:23Every November, Philip and Sarah's family host a hunt.
00:17:26Wait till you meet their father, Lord Hurst.
00:17:28He's terrific.
00:17:29And Lady Hurst?
00:17:30Was terrific until she stopped.
00:17:34Stopped what?
00:17:36Living.
00:17:37Oh, I'm very sorry to hear that.
00:17:40Between father's polio and Philip's mania for tipping cows...
00:17:47Can we please just drop the cows?
00:17:49I think we'll give the fox a break this year.
00:17:51Oh, no hunt?
00:17:53Mrs. Winston gave me her saddle.
00:17:55I've had a wax.
00:17:57Your father and I conspired to make John the master of the hunt.
00:18:01People come from far and wide.
00:18:03Such a shame to disappoint them.
00:18:05Very thoughtful, Mother.
00:18:06You do hunt, I take it, Narita.
00:18:09Hypocrites, gossips or defenseless animals.
00:18:12Oh, bravo.
00:18:14Didn't get it to the start, I'm afraid.
00:18:16You have another conscientious objective, Father.
00:18:20Company.
00:18:21Do you object to the circus or the slaughter, Major?
00:18:24I support Shepherd's position on pacifism.
00:18:27Good for you.
00:18:28So, when does the carnage begin?
00:18:30After the war widow's review, but before the craft fair.
00:18:34In between the dog show and the shoot.
00:18:36And don't forget the highlight.
00:18:38Mother's Christmas dance is the hot ticket of the season.
00:18:41She's ordered the most exquisite Japanese lanterns.
00:18:44Oh, from Japan?
00:18:45No, from the Masons.
00:18:47Oh, yes.
00:18:48Prepare for a whirlwind, Narita.
00:18:52I'm breathless already.
00:18:59I won't make it to Christmas.
00:19:00You won't need to.
00:19:01I won't make it to breakfast.
00:19:02What were we just eating?
00:19:04The lumpy grey and beige concoction.
00:19:06Oh, yes, that's the word I was looking for.
00:19:09Greige.
00:19:10Absolutely no idea.
00:19:12But it is the speciality of the house.
00:19:14Incoming.
00:19:15Have you met my namesake?
00:19:16He's very good in bed.
00:19:18Shh, they'll hear you.
00:19:19I don't care.
00:19:20I do.
00:19:23Look, I know we need the heat, but please don't smoke in here.
00:19:26Mother's clairvoyant about these things.
00:19:28She loathes me, Johnny.
00:19:31I'm a gold digger burrowing in from the land of opportunists.
00:19:36Your father's an interesting study, though.
00:19:39Slightly sardonic.
00:19:40I like that in a man.
00:19:41A fact that won't earn you many brownie points under this roof.
00:19:46After the armistice, father didn't come straight home.
00:19:49He caroused around France and Italy, drinking, having affairs.
00:19:53A lot of men did similar.
00:19:55Couldn't settle down.
00:19:57Why didn't she go after him?
00:19:58A question of pride?
00:20:00He finally just wandered home.
00:20:02Still a bit of a sore point.
00:20:03We try not to speak about it.
00:20:06Except in public.
00:20:08She feels she's missed out on something.
00:20:10Which means, of course, she's missed out on everything.
00:20:13Exactly.
00:20:14The war robbed her of all her expectations.
00:20:17She takes one look at a woman like you.
00:20:20The harlot stealing into the nursery.
00:20:23The delicious concubine with the delectable ears.
00:20:28Nose.
00:20:30Neck.
00:20:33I could just eat you.
00:20:37After that meal, I'm not surprised.
00:21:37And his floozy hands.
00:22:00Why is the ritual always so late?
00:22:02Can't hurry perfection.
00:22:04Edgar was never late for a meal.
00:22:06Well, he's missed a few lately.
00:22:08Good morning.
00:22:09How are we all on this glorious day?
00:22:12There she is.
00:22:14Morning, darling.
00:22:19What would madam like for breakfast?
00:22:22I think madam would get more sustenance from a kipper.
00:22:25But it won't be as much fun.
00:22:27Are you riding with us?
00:22:28Well, darling, I think it's about high time that your mother and I have an intimate tête-à-tête.
00:22:35Just us girls.
00:22:37Lovely.
00:22:39What a frightening thought.
00:22:43Two hemispheres under one roof.
00:22:46Papua New Guinea.
00:22:47India.
00:22:49The Argentine.
00:22:54I may not have traveled, but the world has come to me.
00:22:58Are you coming down with something?
00:23:00Pollen.
00:23:02But if I hold my breath long enough.
00:23:04How peculiar.
00:23:05Which is why we should get to know one another.
00:23:07Where does one start?
00:23:09Shall I make headway?
00:23:11I was born in Detroit.
00:23:12My father worked in the steel plant.
00:23:15He was one of the first lured over to Henry Ford.
00:23:17Ah, hence the love of motoring.
00:23:19Yes.
00:23:20But I also love animals.
00:23:22I am a city girl.
00:23:23I take chickens to the vet.
00:23:26You can't be squeamish about livestock now that you're living in the country.
00:23:30Which was never my intention.
00:23:32I was happily carving out a niche for myself on the race circuit
00:23:35when I was unexpectedly flagged down by someone irresistible.
00:23:41Remarrying was the farthest thing from my mind.
00:23:47Hershey.
00:23:51May I ask...
00:23:54Dead, unfortunately.
00:23:56No children.
00:23:58Oh.
00:24:00How disappointing for you.
00:24:02Still, he provided well there.
00:24:04Yes.
00:24:05Yes, but there were a lot of hidden costs associated with his passing.
00:24:09Oh, that beautiful motor car.
00:24:11Surely you must have independent means.
00:24:14Mrs. Whitaker, I'm more than happy to discuss my means,
00:24:17but I think you'll be a tad disappointed.
00:24:19The car is my sole source of income,
00:24:22which makes living in London an imperative.
00:24:26But what will John do in the city?
00:24:29Work.
00:24:30It's not uncommon.
00:24:34John was brought up in the country, Larita.
00:24:37Where will he work?
00:24:39Torque Farm, perhaps?
00:24:41Or St. Martin's in the Fields?
00:24:44I know this is not perfect, so that's why I'm asking for your guidance.
00:24:48So please, how can I make this pleasant for everybody?
00:24:51Well, wartime experience dictates that you keep your head down
00:24:56and you fit in as well as you can.
00:24:58Oh, there's a war on?
00:25:00Oh, no, not necessarily.
00:25:04Australian mimosa.
00:25:06Mm, beautiful.
00:25:15And then the British troops opened fire.
00:25:18How grisly.
00:25:20How'd it go, Mother?
00:25:22Marvellous.
00:25:24Marvellous.
00:25:46I fear storm clouds are gathering, Mrs. Whitaker.
00:25:49Yes, stop being maudlin, Father.
00:25:51It's the future.
00:25:52It's better.
00:25:53Father.
00:25:55Allow me to introduce Panda's chauffeurs.
00:25:58Lovely La La Larita.
00:26:02My son is prone to fabrication, but I can see on this occasion
00:26:05he has been perfectly frank, Mrs. Whitaker.
00:26:09Yes, that's right.
00:26:11There are two of us now.
00:26:13No shortage of wits around here anymore.
00:26:16Okay, stand back.
00:26:18I give you the future.
00:26:24All right, Don.
00:26:25You can take my baby out for a spin.
00:26:28Come on.
00:26:29Sit down.
00:26:30Allergies.
00:26:31She plays like a puffer fish.
00:26:32You just want to squeeze her till she pops.
00:26:35Look at the cocks.
00:26:42You might not ever strike it rich,
00:26:46but let me tell you, it's better than digging a ditch.
00:26:49Working at the car wash.
00:26:53Working at the car wash.
00:26:56Come on now and see it for yourself.
00:27:00It's better than digging a ditch.
00:27:03Mrs. is a bit trigger-happy this week.
00:27:06Beating tinnitus is killing me.
00:27:08Well, I like the new Mrs. Whit.
00:27:11Reminds me of the old one before the war.
00:27:13Only more reasonable.
00:27:14You can tell she's run her own household.
00:27:16Oh, be silent.
00:27:18Good morning.
00:27:19Verma.
00:27:20Jackson.
00:27:21Millie.
00:27:22Good morning.
00:27:23Good morning.
00:27:24Good morning.
00:27:25Good morning.
00:27:26Good morning.
00:27:27Good morning.
00:27:28Good morning.
00:27:29Good morning.
00:27:30Good morning.
00:27:31Millie.
00:27:32And, cook, I can't call you a verb.
00:27:35Your name?
00:27:37Beatrice.
00:27:42All right, all right.
00:27:43It's Doris.
00:27:45Sorry, madam.
00:27:46Always wanted to be called Beatrice.
00:27:48Well, Beatrice,
00:27:50would you mind if I help myself in the mornings?
00:27:53I fear I shall be rising later and later.
00:27:57Well, if it pleases Mrs. Whit.
00:28:01The point of the bell.
00:28:03When I ring it, you come to me, not the other way around.
00:28:07Marita, may I have a word?
00:28:11Come along.
00:28:15Please refrain from chatting to the staff.
00:28:18It's sure enough trying to keep this motley crew together.
00:28:21Oh, I had a brilliant French maid in Paris.
00:28:23Perhaps I should send for her.
00:28:25Thank you.
00:28:26No, um,
00:28:28I'd prefer to keep English the first language in this household.
00:28:32Ah, there you are.
00:28:34I say, anyone for tennis?
00:28:37Yes, you.
00:28:38John, Shackleton wouldn't let a dog out today.
00:28:41The fog has lifted and Whitakers don't do winter.
00:28:43Oh, you go ahead, darling. I'll play with myself.
00:28:46I really am a lot of fun.
00:28:49Ooh.
00:28:50John, frost monkeys out here.
00:28:56Day one of the Antarctic Open.
00:28:58Mr. Whittaker to serve.
00:29:03Hole in one.
00:29:04Juice.
00:29:06I see your pair of juices, and I raise you a tenner.
00:29:10The Titanic could have hit that.
00:29:12Sarah, you're an embarrassment to the Hearst family name.
00:29:15I'm going to have you killed.
00:29:17Good God, what's wrong with you?
00:29:19No, stop, now.
00:29:20You must stop, everybody. Listen.
00:29:22You'll shoot the court, Jester.
00:29:23Enough.
00:29:25Nice backhand.
00:29:26Was that a backhand compliment?
00:29:28Mad dogs and Englishmen go out and make their summer.
00:29:31The Japanese don't care to.
00:29:33The Chinese wouldn't dare to.
00:29:35Hindus and Persians use their phones from 12 to 1.
00:29:38But Englishmen's a test, I see a star.
00:29:41Laurel and Hardy step up to the crease.
00:29:44The fillies are lining up.
00:29:45Miss Hilary Whittaker looking most fetching in her feed bag and bridal.
00:29:55One woman's heaven.
00:29:59Oh, she's absolutely beautiful.
00:30:03Broken, tarnished, and completely useless.
00:30:08Things guaranteed to keep my wife at bay.
00:30:12May I?
00:30:14Don't mind getting your hands dirty.
00:30:16In Detroit, what we lack in dirt, we make up for in filth.
00:30:21Your first husband from that neck of the woods?
00:30:24Oh, well, word gets about.
00:30:29Where is he now?
00:30:31Dead.
00:30:34Tancer.
00:30:36He was a fair bit older than me.
00:30:38I spent a while playing the unmarried widow with the Blackworth Inn.
00:30:43You didn't care for him, I gather.
00:30:45Oh, I cared too much.
00:30:47Life was just such an unpleasant experience for the man I...
00:30:51I'd be a liar to say I wasn't glad when he was relieved of it.
00:31:03When were you last in France?
00:31:05Just after the war.
00:31:07On a personal reconnaissance trying to ascertain
00:31:10what exactly all those fine young men had died for.
00:31:15Apparently I'm of the romantic lost generation.
00:31:19What did you lose?
00:31:22I'm not sure.
00:31:40I'm not sure.
00:32:11Oh, hello.
00:32:13Hello?
00:32:14Who is the tiny tank?
00:32:16Who is the pretty little cheeky chorizo?
00:32:19On bended knees, please come and play with me.
00:32:23Oh, Johnny, dear, you know how much I love you,
00:32:25so please try to take this in the best possible light.
00:32:29I'm getting emotional.
00:32:31I'm getting emotional.
00:32:33I'm getting emotional.
00:32:35I'm getting emotional.
00:32:37I'm getting emotional.
00:32:38Try to take this in the best possible light.
00:32:40I'm getting a machine gun and mowing down your entire family.
00:32:44Well, that's fairly disappointing.
00:32:45I thought at least you and Father were getting along.
00:32:48Yes, I might spare the menfolk.
00:32:51But it's awfully dispiriting.
00:32:53We have absolutely no privacy here.
00:32:55I've never needed any privacy before.
00:32:57This is my home.
00:32:58It's not mine.
00:32:59And I very much want one.
00:33:08What's misbehaving?
00:33:13Timing is everything, you little brute.
00:33:15Now, umpire, at least, Philip is priming for you.
00:33:19If I knew you play tennis, I never would have signed that marriage certificate!
00:33:39Not a bad day for it.
00:33:41Reading.
00:33:43My fiancée, Edgar, was always hiding behind books.
00:33:46Um, Marion, you need it on the tennis court. John was just asking after you.
00:33:50Would you like to see a photo of him?
00:33:53My Edgar.
00:33:58That's Enrico Caruso.
00:34:00Who's dead. I know that.
00:34:02But if you ignore the nose and the mouth and the ears,
00:34:07there's a striking resemblance.
00:34:11I don't actually have a picture of Edgar.
00:34:14Well, mustn't keep you.
00:34:16No, no, no. Of course.
00:34:18Looking forward to getting stuck into that good book.
00:34:21Puppy!
00:34:23You haven't seen the beast, have you?
00:34:25The dog? Nope.
00:34:27I haven't...
00:34:30Puppy!
00:34:32What?
00:34:34Oh, poor puppy.
00:34:36I'm so sorry.
00:34:38Peter!
00:34:42I've been sent in to badger you.
00:34:44Please, please help us make up doubles.
00:34:47Oh, Hilda, I can't.
00:34:49I'm only good for the cocktails between sets.
00:34:52We're between sets now.
00:34:54Oh, Hilda, you can't possibly want me on court.
00:34:57Philip!
00:34:59Go get him!
00:35:02Puppy!
00:35:06Puppy!
00:35:08Puppy!
00:35:13What are you doing?
00:35:14Reading.
00:35:15Because I don't find Gamora in a Biblical story.
00:35:18You'll get lost, Hilda.
00:35:24Go and find the dog.
00:35:26Dorita!
00:35:28Please refrain from giving my daughter pornographic literature.
00:35:31Yes, yes, of course.
00:35:33Oh, and I've volunteered you and Hilda
00:35:36to perform the Dance of the Dying Swan
00:35:38for the War Widows Review.
00:35:40They're short on numbers.
00:35:42Lovely. Anything to help.
00:35:44Have you seen the dog?
00:35:46No, not recently.
00:35:48Probably out steezing the sunshine,
00:35:51like everyone else.
00:35:53Oh, I'm sorry.
00:35:56Oh, it's you, madam, I'm sorry.
00:35:58Can I get you anything?
00:36:00A shovel.
00:36:02A shovel? Of course.
00:36:04Go and get Philip a hot toddy.
00:36:07Philip, you look so...
00:36:10You look so...
00:36:12You look so...
00:36:14You look so...
00:36:16You look so...
00:36:18You look so...
00:36:20You look so...
00:36:22You look so...
00:36:24You look so...
00:36:26So...
00:36:28Suspense is killing me.
00:36:30Puppy!
00:36:32Sorry.
00:36:42Your brother is such a sharply-honed twit.
00:36:48There's our beautiful cougar hiding.
00:36:50Under a book, I expect.
00:36:53I wish she wouldn't slack indoors so much.
00:36:55Some people would kill to be indoors with Loretta.
00:36:59She isn't built the same as us.
00:37:01Still, it is annoying, though.
00:37:03You're such a sport, always ready for anything.
00:37:07I haven't got Larry's beauty or charm or intelligence.
00:37:13She is clever, isn't she?
00:37:15Clever.
00:37:17And bored.
00:37:19I don't understand it.
00:37:21You're not bored. Nobody else is bored.
00:37:23Your father is.
00:37:25Out of his mind.
00:37:27Your father was born bored.
00:37:29If only she made an effort to play along.
00:37:31Stop being so torturous, Panda.
00:37:33You had a playing charades last night.
00:37:35What more do you want?
00:37:37John!
00:37:39John!
00:37:45Tell the truth. I never really liked her.
00:37:47Grabby, snappy little bitch.
00:37:51I didn't like the dog much, either.
00:37:56Poor Poppy.
00:37:58Casualty of war.
00:38:02If I may be so bold, madam,
00:38:05these people ride horses.
00:38:07Lots of horses.
00:38:09It would be advantageous to do the same.
00:38:14I thought Detroit was a tough town.
00:38:21You do something to me
00:38:28Something that simply mystifies me
00:38:36Tell me
00:38:39Has your horse run out of gas?
00:38:41How should it be
00:38:45You have the power
00:38:47to unite with me
00:38:51Oh, John, don't hurt it.
00:38:53Far from it.
00:38:55I've got a hunt coming up.
00:38:57Poor little Mike needs a head start.
00:39:05So much to learn about each other.
00:39:10My curriculum vitae.
00:39:12The brook is the border of Sarah's property.
00:39:15Mother always imagined we'd join forces
00:39:17and invade Surrey.
00:39:21And how about those foot soldiers on high?
00:39:25I say, that's Davis, Lord Hurst's man.
00:39:27Knows Lord Hurst.
00:39:29Closely followed by my mother-in-law.
00:39:31I wonder what the devil they're surveying.
00:39:37Disappointed you didn't marry Sarah?
00:39:40Of course not.
00:39:42We've seen each other naked since we were one.
00:39:44She's part of the...
00:39:46the scenery.
00:39:48You can hack it a little while longer, can't you?
00:39:51How long's a little?
00:39:53And don't say two weeks again.
00:39:55Well, there's the war widow's review.
00:39:57The craft fair.
00:39:59The hunt.
00:40:01The memorial service.
00:40:03What? Memorial service?
00:40:07Right.
00:40:09We are gathered here today
00:40:11in remembrance of our missing friend, Poppy.
00:40:15Oh, Poppy.
00:40:17Wherever you have chosen
00:40:19to sow your seeds,
00:40:21we pray that you are blooming.
00:40:24We pray that you've gone to a better place.
00:40:27Shame we don't know exactly where that place is.
00:40:31Anyway, now for a eulogy from Emily Dickinson,
00:40:33Queen of Merth.
00:40:36Because I could not
00:40:38stop for death,
00:40:40he kindly stopped for me.
00:40:42The carriage held but just ourselves
00:40:44and immortality.
00:40:46Or maybe the carriage didn't stop
00:40:48and that's how you got squished.
00:40:50Scraped off the road
00:40:52and put in a sausage.
00:40:54Oh, Heather!
00:40:56No!
00:41:04Thank you, Mr. Gribble.
00:41:06Now,
00:41:08ladies and gentlemen,
00:41:10boys and girls,
00:41:12behold Reverend Burton
00:41:14and Marian Whittaker
00:41:16as they reach for the scissors
00:41:18in Samson and Delilah.
00:41:26Thank you.
00:41:32Hark!
00:41:34I hear my husband snore.
00:41:36What the hell
00:41:38happened to Delilah?
00:41:40Looks like a sock full of oranges.
00:41:42Our Queen falls on padded foot
00:41:44and relieve him of his
00:41:46ample follicles.
00:41:56How hilarious.
00:41:58It was meant to be a tragedy.
00:42:00And you succeeded beyond your wildest dreams.
00:42:02Your father seems to have a fan.
00:42:04No.
00:42:06Don't read too much into it.
00:42:08She was a godsend during Mother's last months.
00:42:10Sometimes I wonder where they'd be without each other.
00:42:12I don't know.
00:42:14I don't know.
00:42:16I don't know.
00:42:18I don't know.
00:42:20I don't know.
00:42:22I don't know.
00:42:25Sometimes I wonder where they'd be without each other.
00:42:27Marian, my ample follicles
00:42:29are in dire need of a trim.
00:42:31I wouldn't taunt the artistes,
00:42:33my little dying swans.
00:42:35You're on next.
00:42:37Mother, I've encouraged my girls to undertake
00:42:39something a little more contemporary.
00:42:41Yes, Hilda and I seem to have a talent for the can-can.
00:42:43The traditional can-can,
00:42:45performed without underwear.
00:42:47Anything for you, Philip.
00:42:49Yes, anything.
00:42:51Well, that'll raise a bit more than money
00:42:53for the war widows.
00:42:55I'm doubling my donation.
00:42:57Thank you.
00:42:59Fans of the ready gentlemen,
00:43:01all the way from gay Paris,
00:43:03I give you
00:43:05Miss Hilda Whittaker
00:43:07and for her debut performance
00:43:09Mrs. John Whittaker
00:43:11doing
00:43:13the can-can.
00:43:16Whooo!
00:43:42My imagination
00:43:44is like a daughter dancing
00:43:46without her scanties.
00:44:14Ha!
00:44:20Ho, ho, ho, ho!
00:44:22Wow!
00:44:24Wow!
00:44:26Ho, ho, ho!
00:44:28Ho, ho, ho!
00:44:30Oh, my!
00:44:32Oh, my!
00:44:34Oh!
00:44:36Ah!
00:44:38Oh, my!
00:44:40Oh!
00:44:42It's not Larry's fault.
00:44:45But she said it was traditional.
00:44:48Philip said it, not Marita, and it was a joke.
00:44:50Everyone understood that except Nelly Nonick is over here.
00:44:53Hilda isn't as experienced as your wife, John. No one is.
00:44:57If you're not prepared to have a straight talk to her, then I'll turn the air.
00:45:00Don't be ridiculous, Marion. You'll lose a finger.
00:45:02Lord House will never speak to me again.
00:45:04Oh, rubbish. You two are as thick as thieves.
00:45:05I saw you together with the surveyors in the backfield.
00:45:07Preparing the jumps for the hunt.
00:45:09I'm completely humiliated. I'll never get a husband now.
00:45:13If they're denied, I don't think they'd be lining up round the block.
00:45:16I hate her. Hate, hate, hate her.
00:45:21The advance notices are sensational, Mrs. John.
00:45:26Is it my imagination, or is the cutlery particularly deafening this evening?
00:45:40I don't know how many times I have to say this, Hilda. I am sorry.
00:45:44It's easy for you to say.
00:45:46Surprisingly hard to be easy.
00:45:50You're smiling, Jim.
00:45:52God forbid you win my trade.
00:45:56Hilda, if I had any inkling that you were going to take me seriously...
00:46:00You could have made an effort to enjoy it less.
00:46:02Well, I had my underpants on. I was having a grand time.
00:46:07It's not fair. You've got two husbands, and I've had none.
00:46:12Well, technically, I have one.
00:46:14But you've had two.
00:46:16Well, I've had two shoes, and that's a great deal more practical.
00:46:18I dare say you've worn down more souls than that.
00:46:24John.
00:46:26Marion, Loretta's first husband died of cancer. Stop being so callous.
00:46:30Oh, come now, John. I'm sure Marion can appreciate the pain of watching a loved one slip through her fingers.
00:46:36She's scandalous.
00:46:39You should hear what they're saying about her in the village.
00:46:42Well, let's stop those wagging tongues, shall we?
00:46:45Is it true you've had as many lovers as they say?
00:46:50Of course it's not true, Mrs. Whitaker.
00:46:54Hardly any of them actually loved me.
00:46:59Well, that was uncalled for. You realize it was a joke, but still.
00:47:03You threw me to the wolves in there.
00:47:05Come now, Marion hardly constitutes wolves.
00:47:07All right, you threw me to the voles. Either way, you abandoned me.
00:47:11Your sisters need to be restrained.
00:47:15Hilda breaks loose once and she's almost institutionalized, and poor old Marion.
00:47:19Edgar drops by for a cup of sugar and Mother has his name engraved on the family crypt.
00:47:23I mean, I'm sorry, but it really is very funny.
00:47:25Hilarious. Welcome to the petrified circus.
00:47:28Meet the resident contortionist who can't bend any further.
00:47:32Then stop. Be yourself. Let them live in your spell.
00:47:36You do that voodoo that you do so well.
00:47:42You're right, of course. I'm a hypocrite.
00:47:45Pretending to be someone I'm not, especially since it isn't working.
00:47:50The devil is that dog dug up?
00:47:57Violet, what have you done there?
00:48:01I'll give you that back!
00:48:03Oh, Marion, it was an accident.
00:48:05I am walking on eggshells here and I believe I panicked.
00:48:09And once again, I'm very, very sorry.
00:48:13How could you do it? How could you?
00:48:15Well, I imagine she bent her legs and lowered her full body weight onto the chihuahua that was hiding beneath her.
00:48:22Marion, please.
00:48:24John, did you have anything to do with this?
00:48:27No, no. I was the sole perpetrator of Poppy's demise and ever since I have been wracked with guilt.
00:48:35Please, please, please let me buy you a new dog.
00:48:39You can buy your loved ones in the United States, but you can't in the United Kingdom.
00:48:45How unfortunate.
00:48:47You could at least show some remorse.
00:48:51Oh, I'm full of remorse.
00:48:53I just refused to invest in amateur theatrics to convince you of my sincerity.
00:48:57That's not how I came off the assembly line.
00:49:00I'm sorry. I can't change.
00:49:02Not for you.
00:49:04Not for anybody.
00:49:06Anymore.
00:49:10And I wouldn't want her any other way.
00:49:12So...
00:49:16Madam, the dog.
00:49:20Stay back! Stay back!
00:49:23I knew it the second I laid eyes on her.
00:49:26She's a killer.
00:49:28She sat on poor Poppy deliberately.
00:49:30Oh, don't be ridiculous. Of course she didn't.
00:49:32My brother has married a dog murderer.
00:49:35She should be put down.
00:49:37Put through a divorce court.
00:49:39Oh, the Lord does not sanction divorce.
00:49:41The Lord is almighty, Mary, and he can sanction anything he likes.
00:49:44Well, I say the sooner they move out, the better.
00:49:46They move out?
00:49:48John isn't going anywhere.
00:49:50Watch and learn.
00:49:53It's so unfair. What for?
00:49:59Oh, Louisa, I could die of envy.
00:50:03Laying to rest this tragic incident.
00:50:05We've had this splendid set of rooms made over for you, haven't we, Jim?
00:50:09Yes. My wife would like you to rest in peace.
00:50:12And I've even had an old friend of Johnny's brought down from the attic.
00:50:16He needs to sleep under that silly painting.
00:50:19It's very comforting, I'm sure, but we're expected back in Mayfair.
00:50:23But these are the largest rooms in the house.
00:50:25You'll find nothing like it in London.
00:50:27She has a point.
00:50:28She always does.
00:50:30Sometimes I don't know why you ever did wander home.
00:50:33And miss all the fun.
00:50:35The cook would like to inform you, Mrs. Whittaker, the bird is dead.
00:50:38Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:50:40It's all right.
00:50:42And miss all the fun.
00:50:44The cook would like to inform you, Mrs. Whittaker, the bird is stuffed.
00:50:47Oh.
00:50:49What bird?
00:50:51Thursday's is bubble and squeak. I haven't made any arrangements.
00:50:54Oh, but I have.
00:51:01In appreciation of your understanding, and now for that delicious double bed.
00:51:06We'll think of you every time we use it.
00:51:13Darling, what exactly are we celebrating?
00:51:15Thanksgiving.
00:51:17Thanks for what?
00:51:19The annihilation of an entire indigenous people.
00:51:22A loving union of two great cultures.
00:51:25Just like us.
00:51:27I'm transcontinental.
00:51:29I can't believe you got access to the kitchen.
00:51:31Beatrice did put up quite a fight, but technically I outrank her.
00:51:34Who's Beatrice?
00:51:36Your cook.
00:51:38Or now my undercook, since I'm qualified cordon bleu.
00:51:42That's a degree.
00:51:44Um, Ferber, Ferber, Ferber.
00:51:46Can you take the vegetables down to the kitchen and tell Cook to cook them?
00:51:49No, Ferber, thank you.
00:51:51I think I'll surprise my alimentary canal.
00:51:55Well, Mother, if you don't mind, I think I'm going to eat my meal before it gets cold.
00:51:59Ferber, a pleasure of mine. Bring it back.
00:52:01Me too.
00:52:04Double gobble.
00:52:09Mmm.
00:52:18Here's a tip, Hilda.
00:52:20A sure way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
00:52:22Or his mother.
00:52:24Marita, look, I found an unlikeness of Edgar.
00:52:27Oh, Marion, this is Fatty Arbuckle.
00:52:30Who's in jail, I know that.
00:52:32But if you cut out his cheeks and give him a ball patch,
00:52:36Edgar's away on a trip.
00:52:38He's across the pond,
00:52:40serving his wild oats or something.
00:52:42Agriculture.
00:52:44She's good, I'll give her that.
00:52:46I think you're overreacting.
00:52:55Larry? Larry?
00:52:59Not the bars, not the bars!
00:53:02Taking the corncockle buds and bee-kissed roses roughly in his calloused hands,
00:53:07his hot, moist tulip exploded in her river of delights.
00:53:24Marita?
00:53:26Early Christmas present.
00:53:28For you, darling.
00:53:30Oh, my boggles.
00:53:40Well, it's... it's... it's magnificent.
00:53:43Monstrous.
00:53:44It's me.
00:53:45I posed for a young Spaniard, don't you absolutely adore it?
00:53:49Very expressive, darling, but I can't quite see you in it.
00:53:52Well, you can see everything else.
00:53:54You actually took your clothes off in front of a total stranger.
00:53:56Don't be a buffoon, Marion. Of course she took her clothes off.
00:53:58Well, I think it's unholy.
00:53:59To be honest, Larry, I'm not sure I approve of you being nude.
00:54:03You know, without... without... without me.
00:54:06Extraordinary.
00:54:08What exactly are you hoping to achieve?
00:54:11Just trying to get into the swing of things, Mother.
00:54:15Marvellous.
00:54:17Well, then you'll be riding in the hunt with us, won't you?
00:54:20Well, I might be persuaded if the painting stays.
00:54:23Hunt!
00:54:24Paint.
00:54:25Hunt!
00:54:26Paint.
00:54:27Hunt!
00:54:29Very well.
00:54:32Hunt!
00:54:40You hello.
00:54:49Morning, Jim.
00:54:50After generations of false starts,
00:54:52we've finally managed to combine our cavalry.
00:54:55Congratulations.
00:54:56Marriage of minor convenience.
00:54:58Fine, I promise.
00:54:59Now, remember, the second you have the Holbro boys' eye float outrageously,
00:55:04Warwick Holbro has ears like the Cambridge Cup,
00:55:07and Philip's the prize.
00:55:09Now, if you want a man's attention, ignore him.
00:55:19Warwick.
00:55:20Warwick the wingnut and sausage fingers.
00:55:23What a handsome couple.
00:55:25They love puppies, not children.
00:55:29Wait.
00:55:31There's something I need to say.
00:55:34I see you.
00:55:35You're wasted here.
00:55:37When the time comes,
00:55:39give me a ring.
00:55:42If I could find your neck, Philip, I'd ring it.
00:55:45Marita's making sheep's eyes at Philip.
00:55:47She's a Venus de Flytrap.
00:55:49She wants them all to herself.
00:55:51She's not interested in Philip.
00:55:53Nobody's interested in Philip.
00:55:55I am.
00:55:56Mount up, Larita.
00:55:58Oh, if you don't mind, Mrs. Whittaker,
00:56:00I think I might give the fox a head start.
00:56:03Larry, get on the pony, please.
00:56:06Just as I thought.
00:56:08Oh, Mrs. Whittaker, I said I'd ride,
00:56:10and I'm always good for my word.
00:56:12Dally-ho.
00:56:26Woo-hoo!
00:56:29Spy on me, baby, you satellite
00:56:33Infrared to see me move through the night
00:56:37Aim going to fire, shoot me right
00:56:41I'm going to like the way you fight
00:56:45Now you've found the secret code I use
00:56:49To wash away my learned use
00:56:53So I can't deny or lie
00:56:56Cos you're the only one to make me fly
00:57:01Sexbomb, sexbomb
00:57:03You're a sexbomb
00:57:05You can give it to me when I need to go low
00:57:09Sexbomb, sexbomb
00:57:11You're my sexbomb
00:57:14What is he doing?
00:57:15A victory lap, I believe.
00:57:18There's something wild about that child.
00:57:20It's so contagious.
00:57:24Woo-hoo!
00:57:30Well, she promised she'd ride.
00:57:43No chaperone can get our number
00:57:47From one little slumber left to be
00:57:53There's something wild about that child
00:57:55That's so contagious
00:57:57Let's be outrageous
00:58:00Let's be serious
00:58:02When I looked what he had he couldn't stand
00:58:06For even less he didn't care about
00:58:09Those apples out of season
00:58:12They came and raised him
00:58:14A faithful lover
00:58:18Well, there's a problem
00:58:20Let's just behave
00:58:42Miss Hilda, telephone from New York.
00:58:48Thank you.
00:58:52Uncle George?
00:58:54Oh, thank God, a friendly voice.
00:58:57Yes, and she's a complete nightmare.
00:59:02Really?
00:59:05How salacious.
00:59:09Come in.
00:59:12Mother.
00:59:14I'd like to apologize for today's schmozzle.
00:59:18Oh, that really won't be necessary.
00:59:20In her defense, Loretta made no secret
00:59:22Of her disapproval of blood sports.
00:59:24She did ride, as promised.
00:59:26Well, we should credit her with her imaginative
00:59:29Way of keeping her word.
00:59:31You must be very proud of her.
00:59:34Mother, I think...
00:59:37I think maybe Loretta and I ought to go.
00:59:40Oh.
00:59:42Yes, I see.
00:59:44Very well. Well, feel free to drop in
00:59:46Whenever it takes your fancy.
00:59:49Off you go. Enjoy.
00:59:50Don't be like that.
00:59:51I'm sorry, dear.
00:59:53Wasn't mummy being kind enough?
00:59:54Here, take these.
00:59:55They might get you as far as Constantinople.
00:59:57And this, Casablanca.
00:59:59Mother, stop it.
01:00:00No, you stop it!
01:00:03Stop being so naive!
01:00:12The money's gone, John.
01:00:14Nothing left.
01:00:17The only thing standing between this family and bankruptcy
01:00:20Are those surveyors in the backfield.
01:00:24Lord Hurst is offering to buy 400 acres
01:00:28To keep the bailiffs away.
01:00:31It's your legacy, John Whitaker.
01:00:34I'm selling it.
01:00:37I had no idea.
01:00:39No.
01:00:41No, you don't.
01:00:47You were supposed to take over the estate.
01:00:49You were supposed to take your responsibilities.
01:00:51But you were unexpectedly flagged down.
01:00:56I've been struggling for years
01:00:58With a man who doesn't care
01:00:59Waiting for you to step up to the mark.
01:01:01No.
01:01:03You can just go.
01:01:05Go to Algiers with your racing car driver.
01:01:08I'm too tired to care anymore.
01:01:13Well, it's not exactly surprising, John.
01:01:15Look at the ground.
01:01:17Your mother's being very practical.
01:01:19In what sense?
01:01:21Well, you're not coming back.
01:01:23Your father moved out decades ago.
01:01:25Philip's not coming back.
01:01:27You're not coming back.
01:01:29Your father moved out decades ago.
01:01:31Philip's not going to marry Hilda.
01:01:33Nobody's going to marry Marion.
01:01:35Subdividing the land and selling to a trusted neighbor
01:01:37Is an elegant solution.
01:01:39Somewhat harsh.
01:01:42I've had my fair share of selling off my past.
01:01:45And it is an auction of innocence
01:01:47That's neither fun nor pretty.
01:01:49But it is realistic.
01:01:51Something your mother excels in.
01:01:53But it's my responsibility.
01:01:55I just haven't been so blind.
01:02:25It's a controlled mixture of passion, persistence, and horseman-ure.
01:02:32I was hoping to catch a glimpse of the new bride.
01:02:36Ah, John's wife has very fickle eyes.
01:02:39I'm afraid I can't.
01:02:41I'm afraid I can't.
01:02:43I'm afraid I can't.
01:02:45I'm afraid I can't.
01:02:47I'm afraid I can't.
01:02:49I'm afraid I can't.
01:02:51I'm afraid I can't.
01:02:53Ah, John's wife has very fickle allergies.
01:02:56Allergies to what?
01:02:58Flowers, Emma, flowers.
01:03:00Can you believe it?
01:03:02It's a strange choice of bedfellow for this neck of ours.
01:03:04We'll just have to make do with John and Sarah.
01:03:08It'll be like old times.
01:03:14The whole world smiles.
01:03:18Why the big panda eyes?
01:03:21Sarah, I've often meant to ask you something,
01:03:23but I hadn't the courage.
01:03:25Well, don't then.
01:03:27Did you think I'd behave like a cad,
01:03:29marrying Larry to let that without telling you?
01:03:31Of course not.
01:03:33You took the opportunity and married for love.
01:03:35I respect you for it.
01:03:37If we'd have married, it would have been for friendship and convenience.
01:03:40Would it?
01:03:42Yes. And you want another far too well.
01:03:45I want my marriage to be thrilling,
01:03:49romantic with passionate love letters.
01:03:51I could have written you love letters.
01:03:53You didn't, did you?
01:03:55I did love you all the same.
01:03:59John, stop it.
01:04:09He's very different from the man I met in France.
01:04:14Boy.
01:04:17The same sweet boy.
01:04:23Is it true what she says?
01:04:25Are you really selling off the land?
01:04:29To be perfectly honest, I haven't the faintest idea.
01:04:35But it's your home. It's your community.
01:04:39Doesn't that matter?
01:04:41No.
01:04:44You're a dark horse.
01:04:49Have you noticed how few men of my age there are in this village?
01:04:54Fourteen years ago, we all took the king's filling.
01:04:57We all signed up together.
01:05:00My brother,
01:05:02friends,
01:05:04staff.
01:05:06All hunkered down in the front row
01:05:09of the great war.
01:05:12I thought they kept majors safely behind desks.
01:05:16Promotion for surviving.
01:05:20As captain, it was my job to get them all out of the trenches.
01:05:25But in the first four minutes
01:05:27of our first charge,
01:05:3120,000 men died.
01:05:34In Thorveton, down the road here.
01:05:38They were stationed in Morocco.
01:05:41Their captain brought them all home.
01:05:50I didn't bring a single man back.
01:05:54This whole village died.
01:05:57I think there's a glimmer of life in you yet.
01:06:01I think there's a glimmer of life in you yet.
01:06:04Well, if there is, it has no time for pet cemeteries and Japanese lanterns.
01:06:09Why did you come back?
01:06:11I had no choice.
01:06:14Bonjour, madame.
01:06:17Qu'est-ce que vous voulez?
01:06:27She came for you.
01:06:31Why the lie?
01:06:33She thought wandering home sounded better.
01:06:39To be perfectly frank, I no longer cared.
01:06:41To be perfectly frank, I no longer cared.
01:06:49I hate new games.
01:06:51New balls. I can't think anything.
01:06:54Think some gym, sausage fingers.
01:06:57I'll never ever win.
01:06:58Oh, well done!
01:07:00Eighteen.
01:07:09Come on, pups.
01:07:14All right, clear the deck, puppies.
01:07:25I was hoping to have a word.
01:07:28Oh, we're accentuating the positive today.
01:07:30I really don't have a mind for anything else.
01:07:32Of course. Of course.
01:07:36I know you're under considerable stress.
01:07:40Regarding what?
01:07:44Lord Hearst's kind offer to buy into your property.
01:07:47The realtor I'm dealing with in London also specializes in subdivision.
01:07:52Perhaps he could help negotiate a premium price.
01:07:55Thank you. But really, this is of no concern of yours.
01:07:58Of course it is a concern.
01:08:00I am a member of this family now, and I'd like to help.
01:08:03And this is your interpretation of help, is it?
01:08:06Carving up our heritage and setting it off to the highest bidder.
01:08:09Coming from a country no older than the one you're sitting in,
01:08:12it seems a very practical solution.
01:08:14Just forget the seven generations of people
01:08:17who have devoted their entire lives to farming this land.
01:08:21Get someone else to do it. With a machine, no less.
01:08:25Who do you think you are?
01:08:28Swinging your wherewithal like a cat on heat.
01:08:33If you really want to be of assistance, Loretta,
01:08:37I think you know what's required.
01:08:41Right.
01:08:43I think it's time an expert showed you how this game is played.
01:08:47Let's see.
01:08:49Bravo!
01:08:52Bravo!
01:09:06It's this house. It has an air of doom hanging over it,
01:09:09and I can barely stand the wait much longer.
01:09:13The answer is to go abroad again.
01:09:16Not yet.
01:09:18This is my life for now. You know that.
01:09:21And what part do I play in it?
01:09:23You have to be so loud.
01:09:25Of course I do. I'm American.
01:09:34What is the use of bickering like this? It doesn't lead anywhere.
01:09:38What is the use of bickering like this? It doesn't lead anywhere.
01:09:42Oh, you never know. It might lead to a natural end.
01:09:47Do you want it to?
01:09:50Do you?
01:09:52No!
01:09:55I just want some peace and quiet.
01:09:58You're far too young to make a remark like that.
01:10:01I can't help my age.
01:10:04Grandma.
01:10:09Look, I'm sorry that I leave you alone so much.
01:10:13Honestly, I'm sorry.
01:10:17Good.
01:10:19Now let's do something about it.
01:10:26Why are we driving so fast?
01:10:29The thrill of escaping.
01:10:32You're looking very game today. Fairest game in the land.
01:10:38Penny for your thoughts.
01:10:40It's more than pennies, I'm afraid, Pinky.
01:10:42I don't think I can afford the party this year.
01:10:45The Japanese lanterns.
01:10:47No, cancelled. I have to choose.
01:10:49Japanese lanterns or the maid.
01:10:51No, you're not getting out of it that easily, my dear.
01:10:54My offer of cellar and staff still stands.
01:10:56It wouldn't be Christmas without your knees up.
01:10:59It wouldn't be Christmas without your knees up.
01:11:13This is the first piece of clarity I've had since arriving.
01:11:22Why can't we live in moments like these forever?
01:11:26Why?
01:11:28Because you've stopped loving me, my darling.
01:11:31How can you say that?
01:11:33Oh, I just open my mouth and the words come out.
01:11:37Then let's make a fresh start.
01:11:39There's so many things I need to tell you about me. Hard things.
01:12:00I don't care.
01:12:02I do.
01:12:04It doesn't matter.
01:12:06I trust you absolutely.
01:12:36Memory
01:12:38Throughout my life
01:12:40Will come to me
01:12:44Though the world may go awry
01:12:48Come up!
01:12:49In my heart
01:13:02John!
01:13:07Talk!
01:13:10I can't decide which is worse.
01:13:11The idea that you had to sneak outside to get some privacy
01:13:14or that you were caught by Veronica.
01:13:16Who's Veronica?
01:13:18I am.
01:13:19It's my name.
01:13:24I fail to see the humour in it, Jim.
01:13:25No, darling, you're quite right.
01:13:27I can certainly see the serious implications.
01:13:29It's really not a laughing matter.
01:13:31It's only a laughing matter.
01:13:33Indecent exposure is illegal.
01:13:35Even in America.
01:13:37No, yeah, you're right.
01:13:39And we're very, very sorry, aren't we, Larry?
01:13:41Well, no, I'm not.
01:13:43This is my husband.
01:13:44And this is my home.
01:13:46Well, maybe it's time for the young ones to fly the nest.
01:13:48Certainly not.
01:13:50I will stay put and brazen this out
01:13:52and you can get that ghastly painting out of my house.
01:13:55We do not need any more reminders of your easy virtue.
01:14:05No!
01:14:06Help me, Chuck.
01:14:08Excited, Ferber?
01:14:10Overwhelmed, sir.
01:14:11Miss Hilda.
01:14:13Uncle George.
01:14:14How explosive.
01:14:16Ferber, I recognise that as asparagus.
01:14:19Correct, ma'am.
01:14:21Ha! Unpityable panda.
01:14:23Oh, what is it now?
01:14:25Read.
01:14:26The Detroit News.
01:14:28Uncle George is a super sleuth.
01:14:30Collecting old newspapers is the last refuge of a truly boring man.
01:14:33Boring? Far from it.
01:14:35It was a scandal, wasn't it?
01:14:39Mrs Morley.
01:14:41Mrs Tom Morley of Detroit, Michigan.
01:14:45Don't be grotesque, Hilda.
01:14:48I suppose I'd better finish my meal before it wilts entirely.
01:14:51Any dressing?
01:14:53Oh, I'm genuinely shocked.
01:14:55I always end up wearing it.
01:14:56We've been hoodwinked.
01:14:58Especially that Ronnie Vinaigrette.
01:15:00Oh, Remster.
01:15:01Mayonnaise hurts more ballast.
01:15:03Will you stop this insulting behaviour immediately?
01:15:13I always hated that photo of myself.
01:15:15Everything I'd ever expected.
01:15:17Nothing.
01:15:18Prepare me for this.
01:15:19Prepare you for what?
01:15:20She was charged with murder.
01:15:22I was acquitted.
01:15:23And that's consolation.
01:15:24I told you my husband died.
01:15:26Yes, but you didn't tell us how, did you?
01:15:28Does John know about this?
01:15:30I see.
01:15:31No concern of us.
01:15:32Father!
01:15:33Really?
01:15:35Yes, and after Hilda went through all that trouble taking it up.
01:15:38In fact, I'm going outside for a cigarette.
01:15:40Would you care to join me?
01:15:41Thank you, Jim.
01:15:42Don't mind if I do.
01:15:45No concern!
01:15:52The pack's closing.
01:15:54This woman has taken advantage of our son.
01:15:58He'd never have married her if he'd known the truth.
01:16:00Oh, you know that, do you?
01:16:01I suppose you would have preferred we had an affair.
01:16:03Well, I think it would have been more appropriate.
01:16:05Mother!
01:16:06Unfortunately, I agree with you.
01:16:08Oh, it's easy to talk like this now.
01:16:10It isn't easy.
01:16:11It's heartbreaking.
01:16:13I love John, but it's not blind love.
01:16:16I mean, does that sound and indicate contempt or asthma?
01:16:19You can't palm us off like that, Mrs Morley.
01:16:21This is your doing, child.
01:16:22You're a bigger fool than you look.
01:16:24Loretta is your type, isn't she, Father?
01:16:26This is the nicest thing any of you have ever said.
01:16:28God forgive you.
01:16:29Hello.
01:16:30Are we having a picnic?
01:16:33John, I think your wife better unveil this one herself.
01:16:38Don't you, Loretta?
01:16:42Before we met, I was involved in a court case over the death of my husband.
01:16:49It was seedy and stressful, but since I was found innocent,
01:16:54I didn't think it necessary to burden you with the details.
01:16:58Innocent?
01:16:59She was responsible for a man killing himself.
01:17:02The verdict was suicide, but that's not where it started.
01:17:06I thought it was cancer.
01:17:08It was.
01:17:10He was so desperately sick.
01:17:13If you would have known him, you would have understood how forgivable it was.
01:17:16It's not as if she poisoned him herself.
01:17:17Well, that's what everyone thinks.
01:17:19She's a black widow.
01:17:20I pity you, Marion.
01:17:21Really?
01:17:22Well, I won't let you.
01:17:23Right, that's it!
01:17:24You have a dance to organise.
01:17:25I suggest you all get to it.
01:17:26Now, go on!
01:17:28Now!
01:17:33Hilda!
01:17:34Come on, inside.
01:17:38Come on.
01:17:54I'm cold.
01:17:57And I don't want to worry you.
01:18:01I don't want to hurt you.
01:18:05Are you crying because you're angry or ashamed?
01:18:10Neither.
01:18:13Coming here has been the most demoralising experience of my life.
01:18:18Why didn't you tell me?
01:18:22I wanted to.
01:18:23Everything just happened so fast.
01:18:25It's not good enough.
01:18:28I tried to.
01:18:29Several times.
01:18:33But you trusted me.
01:18:35Absolutely.
01:18:38When you saw the field day, those fatuous,
01:18:43When you saw the field day, those fatuous,
01:18:47hypocrites made of it.
01:18:48Marita, please remember, they're my family.
01:18:50Well, I shouldn't think of them at all if they weren't.
01:18:53Still,
01:18:56you should have told me.
01:18:59You should have loved me more.
01:19:03I couldn't love you any more.
01:19:06You should have loved me better.
01:19:08I don't understand you, Marita.
01:19:13I don't understand you at all.
01:19:38Are you all left feet?
01:19:40Dancing with you is like trying to move a piano.
01:19:44I wonder what the American will be wearing.
01:19:46Or who she'll be poisoning.
01:19:51Do you like long, moonlit walks?
01:19:55Only when taken by people who annoy me.
01:19:58You've got me all to yourself in it.
01:20:00Marita's upstairs with a headache.
01:20:02And which little fool would want to be with you?
01:20:05And which little fool, pray tell, gave her that?
01:20:26Do you think you ought to go and see if Marita's coping?
01:20:28I really hope she's fine.
01:20:30It's been a very trying day for her, John.
01:20:33Care to escort your wife down?
01:20:35No, I wouldn't worry.
01:20:37You know my wife. She'll make an entrance when she's ready.
01:20:46Come in.
01:20:50Quickly, you'll blow my cover.
01:20:53Why are you sitting in the dark?
01:20:56Watching.
01:21:00People are so universally similar when their guard is down.
01:21:10Seems they're universally similar when their guard is up as well.
01:21:16I don't know.
01:21:17Seems they're universally similar when their guard is up as well.
01:21:24May I?
01:21:28Thank you for being gallant today.
01:21:30You are damn cool in a crisis.
01:21:33The judge at my trial said something similar.
01:21:39Why did you do it?
01:21:43Why did you marry John?
01:21:48My first husband was older.
01:21:50And his end was messy.
01:21:53Long afterwards, this...
01:21:57boy...
01:21:59pure boy...
01:22:02arrived fresh and unblemished.
01:22:07I married him because any other relationship seemed...
01:22:11as cheap and squalid.
01:22:15My first marriage cost me my youth
01:22:17and here I am stealing someone else's.
01:22:22What will you do?
01:22:26The best I can.
01:22:37Thank you, Pinky.
01:22:38No, not at all, my dear.
01:22:40Just look at this turnout.
01:22:42They've only come for a repeat performance of the Cincinnati Succubus.
01:22:47May I have the pleasure?
01:23:12Thank you.
01:23:43Tango, please.
01:23:44Certainly.
01:23:55Dance with me, John.
01:23:59No, you don't.
01:24:02Please.
01:24:04Dance with me.
01:24:12No, you don't.
01:24:42It's very gallant.
01:25:12Dance with me.
01:25:42You've got to stop, Mother.
01:25:44No, I don't.
01:26:13Oh, marvellous!
01:26:16Marvellous!
01:26:19Straight from the bordellos of Buenos Aires
01:26:22to the Hippodrome of London, maestro.
01:26:24Take it away.
01:26:27Jim, this is the end.
01:26:43Congratulations, madam.
01:26:45Have you been drinking, Ferber?
01:26:47Yes, madam, prodigiously.
01:26:49You are full of surprises.
01:26:51Oh, yes, madam.
01:26:52I was even arrested once.
01:26:54What for?
01:26:56Bigamy.
01:27:13Oh, there you are, you little faggot.
01:27:26Marita, where are you going?
01:27:29Away, Sarah.
01:27:30For John's sake.
01:27:32Far, far away.
01:27:35Is there anything I can do?
01:27:37You can look after him.
01:27:39Women like me are tiresome in love.
01:27:42We expect too much.
01:27:45Marry John.
01:27:47It's the way things always should have been.
01:27:49I'm just so sorry I got in the way.
01:27:52Love him that much?
01:28:00Go. I'll go before you.
01:28:03Sweet Sarah.
01:28:04Oh, so glad you've recovered from your headache.
01:28:08Please don't build any convenient social lies on my behalf.
01:28:11Oh, I say, Mother is only trying...
01:28:12Fighting to keep the charade alive?
01:28:16Oh, you've shown tremendous fortitude holding this family together, Veronica,
01:28:19and I can respect that.
01:28:21But what I can't respect is the manipulative road you've chosen to maintain control.
01:28:26This war is over.
01:28:28Move on.
01:28:29Move on? Oh, how convenient.
01:28:32Oh, wake up, Marion.
01:28:34Edgar's not coming back.
01:28:36And that ring isn't stuck, you are.
01:28:38And, Hilda, you've got such promise, yet you're squandering it on malice.
01:28:43My advice to both you girls?
01:28:46Run.
01:28:48Go see the world through your own eyes.
01:28:51So speaks the siren leading the sailors to their death.
01:28:55Well, at least I'm not Medusa turning them to stone.
01:28:58Get out!
01:29:00Fine.
01:29:02Larry?
01:29:03Larry, don't go.
01:29:05John, I have to. I can't live here.
01:29:08Nothing can.
01:29:11But you're my wife.
01:29:13And I love you.
01:29:15Oh, John, my darling.
01:29:19You don't know what love is.
01:29:22You have no idea what it means to love someone so much that you'll do anything for them.
01:29:33Even inject them with poison
01:29:35when they're too feeble to do it for themselves.
01:29:44I don't believe that you could have ever loved me like that.
01:29:56Oh, John, let her go.
01:30:00Let her go.
01:30:02Let her go.
01:30:04Off into the sunset to inject some other family with her poison.
01:30:08Mother.
01:30:09Go on, off you go.
01:30:10Before your past catches up with you.
01:30:12Again.
01:30:13Mother.
01:30:17Oh, you evil...
01:30:19Mother!
01:30:21Shut up!
01:30:25They are predicting warmer weather, madam.
01:30:27Yes, Berber, I believe they are. Thank you.
01:30:32Thank you.
01:30:36Very generous.
01:30:39There's something special in there for Jackson.
01:30:41Please make sure he gets it.
01:30:42Of course.
01:30:43Where will madam be staying?
01:30:46Who knows?
01:30:48Good luck.
01:30:51Thank you, Berber.
01:30:54Would you forward the painting, please, Berber?
01:30:57To where, sir?
01:31:02I shall enjoy passing on the good news, sir.
01:31:10Where am I going?
01:31:11When the going gets tough, the tough get going.
01:31:17I've got something to tell you.
01:31:19Really?
01:31:21I've got something to say.
01:31:23I'm all ears.
01:31:24I'm gonna put these wheels in motion.
01:31:28Put these wheels in motion.
01:31:31And let nothing stand in my way.
01:31:36Darling, I'll climb any mountain.
01:31:41Darling, I'll do anything.
01:31:45When the going gets tough,
01:31:50the tough get going.
01:31:54When the going gets rough,
01:31:58the tough get rough.
01:32:03I'm gonna get myself across the river.
01:32:07That's the price that I'm willing to pay.
01:32:11I'm gonna make you stand and deliver.
01:32:16And give me love in an old-fashioned way.
01:32:21Darling, I'll climb any mountain.
01:32:25Darling, I'll do anything.
01:32:29When the going gets tough,
01:32:34the tough get going.
01:32:38When the going gets rough,
01:32:43the tough get rough.
01:32:55When the going gets tough,
01:33:00the tough get rough.
01:33:10My Lords, ladies and gentlemen,
01:33:12introducing the Easy Virtue Orchestra.
01:33:17On piano, the Honorable James Watson.
01:33:22On the bass, Thomas the Bass Engine Mason.
01:33:29On the euphonium, Orrin Marshall.
01:33:34Christopher Webster, trombone.
01:33:38Drums, Mr. David Roundtree and Benjamin Bryan.
01:33:46On the ukulele, Paul Woollard.
01:33:51On the guitar, Christopher Montague.
01:33:57On the washboard, Jason Boshoff.
01:34:01Saxophones, Mike the Maestro Smith and Samuel Frank.
01:34:10On clarinets, Christopher Cordwell and Bradley Grant.
01:34:16On the trumpets, Gerard Presencer and Christopher Storr.
01:34:25On strings, Sophie Solomon, Perry Montague Mason,
01:34:29Emlyn Singleton, Bogus Locus, Sticky Peterlale,
01:34:32David Daniels and Joan Knight.
01:34:34Thank you.
01:34:37And on the saw, David Coulter.
01:34:41On the bandoneon, Ian Tango Man Watson.
01:34:47And on the oboe, Catherine St. John.
01:34:52Thanks, Kate.
01:34:54On the slide whistle, Stephan Elliott.
01:34:57Michel Defries on the cymbals.
01:35:00Barnaby Thompson on spoons.
01:35:03Tristram Penner, gramophone.
01:35:06Thanks, Trist.
01:35:08Thanks, Trist.
01:35:10And on the banjo, Benedict Defries.
01:35:15Ladies and gentlemen, you've been a wonderful audience.
01:35:18Tell your friends and please come back soon.
01:35:21And remember, keep your powder dry.
01:35:28Good night. Thank you.
01:35:32I'm going to find myself a one-way ticket
01:35:37Nothing's going to hold me back
01:35:41Your love is like a low train coming
01:35:46And I feel it coming down the track
01:35:50Oh!
01:35:52I'll climb any mountain
01:35:57I'll do anything
01:36:00When the girlie gets tough
01:36:02When the girlie gets tough
01:36:04The tough get curly
01:36:07The tough get curly
01:36:09When the girlie gets rough
01:36:11When the girlie gets rough
01:36:13The tough get rough
01:36:16The tough get rough
01:36:18Ooh, can I touch you?
01:36:22When two little things are lost
01:36:24When two little things are lost to me
01:36:29Ooh, I don't want to hold you
01:36:33Can't you get it to me?