Fighting Nirvana-SD
Fighting Nirvana-SD
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Neighbors bring food with death, and flowers with sickness, and little things in between.
00:00:19Boo was our neighbor.
00:00:22He gave us two soaked dolls, a broken watch and chain, a knife, and our lives.
00:01:53So what's the deal? Mom didn't believe in lampshades?
00:01:57Give her a break, Jeff. She was really sick before she died.
00:02:11Your mom really lived like this?
00:02:13What do we say? Her money was in the toilet.
00:02:16Come on, Alex. This place means a lot to me.
00:02:19Hey, I need to make a little speech.
00:02:21Ugh, not that.
00:02:23What's that?
00:02:24Mom always used to do that.
00:02:26She used to make these speeches every time we had a visitor,
00:02:28and she wouldn't let them leave until she made a speech either.
00:02:31My dear friends.
00:02:32Christ.
00:02:33Tonight, we are gathered in Mom's old house.
00:02:37I know this is probably weird for you boys, being a stranger's house and all,
00:02:41and it's kind of a stranger's house to me too.
00:02:46And I bet for Alex.
00:02:48But we'll be selling this place soon, so for tonight, just one night, it can be a home again.
00:02:55I don't know why I feel weird tonight.
00:02:58Sober and tipsy, I guess.
00:03:01I miss Mom a little, and this is her place of routine and care and love.
00:03:08So we're here.
00:03:12So it'll work then.
00:03:14Are you sure that was necessary?
00:03:16If you miss her so much, that'd probably upset you.
00:03:18Nope.
00:03:20Ugh, it's hot in here.
00:03:23Right, so can we eat now? Because I'm getting the Dolman Crunches.
00:03:27What?
00:03:28You know, when you get hungry and you've got that grinding in your abdomen?
00:03:31That's what this is. Dolman Crunches.
00:03:34Is it really that hard to just say abdomen?
00:03:37Is it really that hard to just say abdomen?
00:03:40Dolman saves time. Everybody knows what a dolman is.
00:03:51Man, this is a guy's apartment.
00:03:58TGI Friday's quesadillas and White Castle cheeseburgers.
00:04:05Sounds just like her.
00:04:07Mama's always one of the guys, and she loved those dillas.
00:04:11Dillas?
00:04:12Quesadillas?
00:04:14If she can say dillas, I can say dolman.
00:04:17Enough. You guys can eat the junk food.
00:04:20I'm going to go to the car and get my groceries and make some gazpacho.
00:04:35Water
00:04:58All right.
00:05:06Guys, shouldn't we pray before we eat?
00:05:09No.
00:05:11Come on, guys. Mom just died.
00:05:14Steph, you can do one of those little silent prayers.
00:05:18No.
00:05:20Come on, guys. Mom just died.
00:05:22Steph, you can do one of those little silent prayers.
00:05:35Amen, then?
00:05:38You guys are missing out on this gazpacho.
00:05:40Oh my god, I love White Castle.
00:05:43So good for my dolman.
00:05:47So, Bruce, we haven't really met.
00:05:52No.
00:05:53How long have you been dating my sister?
00:05:55I don't know, about a hundred years.
00:05:59He means five months.
00:06:01Guys never remember anniversaries.
00:06:02How'd you guys meet?
00:06:03Online.
00:06:04My boss, Julia, is always telling me how she loves the online world.
00:06:11I guess it really does work.
00:06:14So what do you do?
00:06:15Well, I work at the Mara Inn, with Jeff.
00:06:18What's that?
00:06:19It's a small hotel.
00:06:20I'd really rather not talk about work right now.
00:06:23I didn't really ask you, but incidentally, what are you doing here?
00:06:27Well, Stephanie told me to bring as many people as I could to help pack up this place, so.
00:06:32I'm glad I came.
00:06:33What with the White Castle stuff and all.
00:06:36How do you two know each other?
00:06:39From our days in the old schoolyard.
00:06:42Aw, old friends.
00:06:44Do you have a girlfriend, Jeff?
00:06:47Ah, yeah, still working on that one.
00:06:52Always the holy grail, I guess.
00:06:54That's all the answer I needed, thanks.
00:06:57Now, hold on a minute.
00:06:58Jeff had a little issue he had to deal with.
00:07:01Oh?
00:07:02It's okay.
00:07:03I can tell her myself.
00:07:04Look, in college I had this female friend named Laura.
00:07:09One night, we thought it would be a great idea to get drunk and have sex.
00:07:13Which we did, and it was terrible, and we didn't even finish.
00:07:19And afterwards, we never talked again.
00:07:22Aw, that's a sad story, Jeff.
00:07:25Were you in love with her?
00:07:30Well, uh, I'm sorry you couldn't swoop in and save the day.
00:07:35So, what do you think of my sister?
00:07:39I like her a lot.
00:07:41She's not too religious for you?
00:07:43Hey, I'm really not that bad.
00:07:45She really isn't at all.
00:07:47That's cute.
00:07:48Julia told me she thinks so, too.
00:07:50I don't think it's the excess of religion that's her problem.
00:07:53I think it's the bubble she lives in.
00:07:55Alex!
00:07:56You know about the last guy she dated?
00:07:58Yes, Homer.
00:08:00They lived together for a few months.
00:08:02I'm totally all cool with that.
00:08:04Yeah, you're just so mad chill.
00:08:06You know how hard that breakup was for her?
00:08:08She could be a tough plate of raw fish when it comes to her emotions.
00:08:14Why don't we talk about something else?
00:08:16What's up, Jeff?
00:08:19I'm gonna take my pants off.
00:08:25What the hell?
00:08:28You didn't need to change the subject that much.
00:08:31Well, it's a little warm in here and these jeans aren't actually that comfortable,
00:08:34so I'm gonna loosen up a little bit.
00:08:36Yeah, that's really respectful to my mom's memory, just so you know.
00:08:40Well, look who's talking.
00:08:41She's dead and you're drinking champagne.
00:08:44And you're drinking fructose corn syrup.
00:08:46What the hell's the difference?
00:08:48Okay, okay.
00:08:49Let's try to have some fun.
00:08:50We don't have to be so solemn about this whole thing.
00:08:52What do you mean by fun?
00:09:32I think that was Mom punishing us for the dance.
00:09:35Yeah.
00:09:36Maybe we should get rolling.
00:09:38Oh, come on.
00:09:39It was just getting to the chorus.
00:09:41Yeah, but it's almost midnight and some of you have been drinking,
00:09:46so let's just do this before you start falling asleep.
00:09:49Do what?
00:09:50Honey, I'm sorry, but there's no way we're gonna pack up this whole place in one single night.
00:09:54I think you mean looking for the money?
00:09:57Yeah.
00:09:58Looking for the money?
00:10:00Yeah.
00:10:01That's right.
00:10:02Uh, money?
00:10:04Is that why you had us all come here tonight?
00:10:06That's why you wanted guests?
00:10:08What are you guys talking about?
00:10:10I guess I should tell you.
00:10:12Um...
00:10:16I can tell.
00:10:17Mom inherited some bonds from our great aunt,
00:10:21and when we asked her where she put them, she got really embarrassed and basically...
00:10:27she cashed the bonds, hid the money in the house, and forgot where she put it.
00:10:32Never found it again.
00:10:34Last we heard, it was still lost.
00:10:37So that's what we're looking for tonight?
00:10:40Yeah.
00:10:41Look, I told you Mom had a sense of humor.
00:10:44And a bad memory.
00:10:46Deadly combination, those two.
00:10:48But honey, this is silly.
00:10:50You're gonna be selling this place in a few weeks.
00:10:52It'll turn up then.
00:10:53Honey, do you trust moving men?
00:10:55When you move, you don't find things, you lose them.
00:10:58I just want to do this while we still have the place to ourselves.
00:11:02But why do we have to look tonight?
00:11:05I think because she knows I'm leaving for Cali tomorrow.
00:11:08I'll share it with all you guys.
00:11:12Christ, it'd be hard enough to pack up all this stuff,
00:11:15but now we're looking for something?
00:11:17Needle in a haystack.
00:11:20Where do you think it might be?
00:11:22That's a good question, considering she herself didn't know.
00:11:27All right, how long do we have to stay until?
00:11:29As long as you want.
00:11:31Actually, they were closing that street by the highway, remember?
00:11:34Oh yeah, Washington Avenue is closed until 6 a.m. for construction.
00:11:38Ugh.
00:11:39Did you by any chance have that in mind all along?
00:11:43Maybe.
00:11:44But look, let's just try it out and by 6 a.m. you guys can take off.
00:11:51Sigh.
00:11:53All right, enough grumbling.
00:11:56There's four of us.
00:11:58Let's just give it a shot.
00:12:20All right.
00:12:51Steph, I need a break.
00:12:53Come on, Alex, there's still places to look.
00:12:56Have you ever even seen the money?
00:12:58Nope.
00:13:00We don't even know what we're looking for and this heat just isn't helping.
00:13:10I'm sorry.
00:13:12It's okay.
00:13:14I'm sorry.
00:13:16It's okay.
00:13:19Sigh.
00:13:27I think...
00:13:29No, yeah, I'm definitely getting tired.
00:13:31Yeah, let's hold on one more hour because then she's going to get tired and she's going to realize how crazy this is.
00:13:36I can't believe I let you talk me into this, all for your friggin' girlfriend.
00:13:40I told you she had a sister.
00:13:42Yeah, you didn't tell me she'd be a bitch though.
00:13:49Sigh.
00:13:56What's going on?
00:13:58Hold on, let me check.
00:13:59Ow!
00:14:01The street lights are out.
00:14:03God, you cannot tell me there's a blackout right now.
00:14:06Yep, I think you've got to circle that answer.
00:14:09What the hell? It's not even bad weather outside.
00:14:11Mom said there was one like this five years ago.
00:14:13Probably just at some plant.
00:14:15Did your mom have flashlights?
00:14:16Yep.
00:14:17Oh, damn it!
00:14:35Here, take this one.
00:14:38Sigh.
00:14:44Damn it, I think this means my flight's going to be cancelled tomorrow.
00:14:48I'm going to call the airline.
00:14:50If I know anything about the horror genre, and I do, phones will be out.
00:14:59None.
00:15:08And she told me she enjoyed it.
00:15:12She looked right at me, and she said,
00:15:15I like you.
00:15:18You remind me of that guy from YouTube.
00:15:20Jeff, nobody really wants to hear your girl exploits.
00:15:23Speak for yourself, Brucie.
00:15:25Mmm, I think I should make more coffee.
00:15:28The hell with that, Steph. I don't think the power's coming back on tonight.
00:15:32It might. They have round-the-clock people for emergencies like this.
00:15:36Whatever, I just think we should go to bed.
00:15:38Uh, I don't know if you guys noticed, but there's only one bed in there,
00:15:41and it's not big enough for all of us, so...
00:15:44No, no, no, no, no.
00:15:46If you two think you're getting the bed because you're the couple,
00:15:48you are wildly mistaken.
00:15:50Guys, wait. Don't you want to look for the money?
00:15:56Scratch that one.
00:15:58Baby, don't be mad.
00:16:00Money would be nice, but we're just not going to find it tonight.
00:16:02Oh, so that's it?
00:16:04You guys are just going to give up after a few minutes?
00:16:07Come on. I told you guys, this is the last chance to really look for the money
00:16:10before we sell the place.
00:16:12Steph, did it ever occur to you that the moving men might need the money more than we do?
00:16:17You've never been generous.
00:16:20Times change.
00:16:22Oh, so you've seen the light, eh?
00:16:24When's the last time you even spoke to me before Mom died?
00:16:28What?
00:16:29How long?
00:16:31How long's it been?
00:16:33I don't know. Christmas? Then maybe summer before?
00:16:37Exactly.
00:16:39So if you ever took the time to get to know me a little better,
00:16:42you'd know that I'm actually a pretty generous person.
00:16:45Julia always says whenever you lose something,
00:16:47someone probably needs it more than we do.
00:16:49Cute. Well, before you got saved by Julia,
00:16:52I don't really think that was your philosophy.
00:16:54God, all you two ever do is fight.
00:16:56Maybe we should go back to dancing.
00:16:58That's a great way to put somebody's eye out.
00:17:00Let's just go to sleep.
00:17:02Oh, you guys suck.
00:17:04I get the bed.
00:17:06Jeff, don't take this the wrong way,
00:17:08but you're a complete stranger,
00:17:10and you're not sleeping in my mother's bed.
00:17:12I'm perfectly fine just sleeping right here.
00:17:16I'll do that too.
00:17:18If my flight's not canceled,
00:17:20knock on wood,
00:17:22I'll just get my sleep on the plane.
00:17:24Julia always says she gets her best sleep on planes.
00:17:27Goddammit, would you shut up about Julia?
00:17:30It's like you're in love with her.
00:17:34Yeah, I love Julia as a friend.
00:17:42No, wait a minute.
00:17:44You do love her.
00:17:46You have a little crush.
00:17:48In fact, now that I think about it,
00:17:50every time you've been on a trip, it's been with her.
00:17:52I think you'd better drop that.
00:17:54No, I think you should tell me about it.
00:17:56No, no, I just think it's cute that you have a little crush.
00:17:59My life isn't your business, got that?
00:18:02Alex, you're cutting me.
00:18:04Hey, hey, get off my girlfriend.
00:18:08Are you hurt?
00:18:10Her nails stabbed me.
00:18:12This is getting so trippy.
00:18:14Shut up, Jeff.
00:18:18I'm fine. I just...
00:18:21Yeah, she's always been very private about her personal life.
00:18:25I feel like I know her a little better.
00:18:27I'll get you something for that.
00:18:29No, I'll go.
00:18:33This is Mom's chemical box.
00:18:35She used to be a chemist back when she studied.
00:18:38So your mom collected chemicals and White Castle cheeseburgers.
00:18:41I do believe we are just scratching the surface of a secret life here.
00:18:45What's in that chemical box?
00:18:47Uh, three things.
00:18:49Alcohol, cough syrup, and liquid ammonia.
00:18:53There's a combination you don't hear every day.
00:18:55Yeah, I must have missed this when I was looking through the bathroom earlier.
00:18:58Did you look through the whole bathroom?
00:19:01Yeah, I'll come back on Monday and help you look.
00:19:04But you're working.
00:19:06I got laid off.
00:19:08What?
00:19:09No, Bruce, don't.
00:19:11And so did Jeff.
00:19:12Oh, God.
00:19:13Jeff.
00:19:15But I don't get it.
00:19:17You were just telling me how much your boss liked you.
00:19:19How you impressed him.
00:19:21I do, but it's a small hotel in the middle of nowhere.
00:19:23So when they got a downsize, they got a downsize.
00:19:25Hey, the boss liked me, too.
00:19:27You don't have to brag.
00:19:28Anyway, lowering the overhead meant us.
00:19:30Why didn't you tell me?
00:19:32Because your mom just died, and it's been so frustrating.
00:19:34Like, what am I doing?
00:19:36I'm two years out of college, and I've been wasting them.
00:19:38It's one thing to get fired when you mess up.
00:19:41These last four months have been a waste just because their business is bad.
00:19:43Hey, I'm mad, too, all right?
00:19:45I invested a lot for those people.
00:19:47I put in days, nights, weekends, all to make ends meet.
00:19:51Now they go and take my ends meet away from me.
00:19:54Which is a really good point.
00:19:57Both of you really need the money right now, and here we are looking for a fortune.
00:20:01Yeah, and we haven't found it yet.
00:20:03What are you saying?
00:20:04I just think it would be something if one of you found it
00:20:07while we weren't looking and ceased to mention it.
00:20:10Ha ha, very funny.
00:20:12You realize the same thing could be said about you.
00:20:14What?
00:20:15You've been out of sight, too, for the past few minutes.
00:20:18Yeah, but I don't have the same incentive you do.
00:20:20Maybe you wanted to buy your girlfriend something.
00:20:23Zing!
00:20:25Listen, Steph, I'm sorry I hurt you. I overreacted.
00:20:28Great, thanks.
00:20:29Now I'm stuck in a dark apartment after midnight bleeding to death.
00:20:32Quit acting. You'll live.
00:20:34Anyway, anything you say about Julia is fine.
00:20:39My life's your life.
00:20:42Great. So while you two make up, I'm taking the bed.
00:20:46Hold it. She's got a point.
00:20:49What's that?
00:20:50Well, all three of you are out of my sight.
00:20:53Any one of you could have found the money.
00:20:55Steph, I'm sorry, but if you're going to accuse me, then you're really pushing it.
00:21:00How the hell could I have pocketed any money
00:21:02when I've had my pants off for the past 90 minutes?
00:21:06You can strip search me if you like.
00:21:09You can strip search me if you like.
00:21:11Okay, okay.
00:21:13Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to accuse anyone.
00:21:16I should know better.
00:21:18But it did seem odd that the minute the lights went out,
00:21:21the three of you couldn't care less about a big load of cash.
00:21:23All right, okay. You know what we'll do?
00:21:26Because we're all getting really grumpy and tired and annoyed with the heat,
00:21:29I suggest we combat all three by each taking a little shower,
00:21:32and by then hopefully the lights will be back up,
00:21:35and we'll see how psyched we can be about finding some money.
00:21:38Okay, so while you three do that, I'm taking the bed.
00:21:42Hey, genius, instead of just one of us taking the bed,
00:21:45why don't we all go sleep together?
00:21:47Now that's an idea.
00:21:49I meant by the bed.
00:21:51Okay, while you three work that out, I'm going to take the first shower.
00:22:06I can't take this.
00:22:08I thought you were so sleepy.
00:22:10Yeah, well, it's hard to sleep with all this tension in the room.
00:22:13She's not such a good bed partner, is she?
00:22:16Apparently neither are you.
00:22:18What was that?
00:22:20Hold on, Alex. Why don't we just talk about this?
00:22:22Talk about what? Did I have a gay crush?
00:22:24Yeah.
00:22:26Does that make you uncomfortable?
00:22:28No. Does talking about it make you uncomfortable?
00:22:30Kinda.
00:22:32This reminds me of a joke.
00:22:34Jeff, is this going to be another one of your stupid gags?
00:22:37No, no, no, no, no.
00:22:39That girl who told me I look like the guy from YouTube?
00:22:41She told me this one.
00:22:43Yeah, she's a regular bull too.
00:22:45Okay, okay.
00:22:47What does a gay cow say?
00:22:50What?
00:22:54Hey.
00:22:58I think you've talked enough.
00:23:00Jeff, that joke didn't even make sense.
00:23:03Because cows eat hay?
00:23:05Yeah, I picked that up.
00:23:11What I don't get is why your cow is a stereotypical gay man.
00:23:14Cows are female.
00:23:16Yeah, but this cow is male.
00:23:19Then it's a bull.
00:23:23No, but in the world of the joke, the cow is male.
00:23:29So the audience of your joke needs to know that you're in some sci-fi fictional world?
00:23:36Um, I said gay cow.
00:23:42Then I assumed it's a lesbian cow.
00:23:44No, the cow is not a lesbian. The cow is gay.
00:23:49Now see, that is a sentence I never thought I would hear.
00:23:52A woman can be called gay as well.
00:23:55Yes, but when I hear that someone is gay, I associate that with male homosexuality, not female.
00:24:02Why don't you just avoid this whole gender dispute by saying a gay bull?
00:24:06Because bulls don't eat hay.
00:24:09Actually, come to think of it, do cows even eat hay? See, I think that might just be horses.
00:24:13Christ, this joke really backfired on me.
00:24:17Next.
00:24:19I'll go.
00:24:21I'm getting booed off stage here.
00:24:26So Steph, when you hear a gay cow, what does that make you think of?
00:24:31Did you just call me sister cow?
00:24:33No, no, no.
00:24:35I know exactly what he's talking about.
00:24:38Okay, would you guys tell your mom to stop haunting this house?
00:24:43You know, I barely saw mom during Christmas.
00:24:46Yeah, what happened?
00:24:48I don't know. Mother-daughter junk.
00:24:51I guess it'll never get worked out now.
00:24:54And no, it had nothing to do with my kids.
00:24:57No, it had nothing to do with my kids.
00:24:59No, it had nothing to do with my kids.
00:25:01No, it had nothing to do with my kids.
00:25:03No, it had nothing to do with my kids.
00:25:05No, it had nothing to do with my crush.
00:25:08Favorite topic of the evening.
00:25:11You know, how she always used to say, I'm so incorrigible.
00:25:17I was incorrigible.
00:25:19I got that from her.
00:25:22In college, I had all these friends.
00:25:24Both, male and female.
00:25:26Don't get any ideas.
00:25:29Remember what I used to do during my breaks?
00:25:33Yeah, you stopped coming home for Christmas or Thanksgiving or whatever.
00:25:39Found someone else to spend it with.
00:25:41And it wasn't even anything against mom.
00:25:44I wasn't even mad at her.
00:25:46They were like my family.
00:25:48This is even pre-Julia.
00:25:50This was Doug, Mark, and Mia.
00:25:53Now they're just somewhere.
00:25:55I don't even know where.
00:25:57I think Mark's in Connecticut and Doug's somewhere up north.
00:26:01Yeah, boo-hoo.
00:26:02So you got post-college depression and you miss your friends.
00:26:05So does everybody.
00:26:07There's no reason to leave your family.
00:26:09Don't.
00:26:10No, wait. I deserve that.
00:26:13You've even been nice enough to come out and help your girlfriend through this tough time.
00:26:17And it wasn't even your mom who died.
00:26:20And you've just gotten laid.
00:26:22What?
00:26:24Sorry.
00:26:25I was going to say laid off.
00:26:27And then I stopped at laid and it was funnier.
00:26:31Have you, though?
00:26:33What?
00:26:34Slept together?
00:26:36That's an inappropriate question to ask anybody, let alone a family member.
00:26:39Uh, Bruce, she knows.
00:26:41I told her on the phone.
00:26:43What?
00:26:44We're girls. We talk about this stuff.
00:26:47I just wanted to see what you'd say.
00:26:49Thanks, genius, for calling me a bluff.
00:26:52Oh, you're incorrigible.
00:26:56Alright, who's up?
00:26:57I kept it quick. There isn't much hot water.
00:26:59I'll go.
00:27:01So, Volterra's back. Or her boyfriend, I mean.
00:27:04What's wrong with you?
00:27:06What?
00:27:07You're chewing everyone out like you've got something to be defensive about.
00:27:10And please, don't give me another soliloquy about your college friends.
00:27:15I fight back when everyone gangs up on me.
00:27:18And anyway, what was your deal with Mom?
00:27:20Nothing. Perfect daughter.
00:27:22You were always insecure with her.
00:27:25I guess so.
00:27:27She put tons of pressure on both of us.
00:27:29But frankly, it didn't affect me.
00:27:31I wiped my ass off her.
00:27:33Quite well, I might add.
00:27:35But you. You put up with her.
00:27:37She drove your boyfriends away.
00:27:39And that's why you never introduced this one to her.
00:27:42And now, you're perky because she died.
00:27:45And you want to look for money.
00:27:48Are you done?
00:27:49Guess so.
00:27:50You know, if I believed you, I'd be offended by all the crackpot logic spewing out of you.
00:27:56But I don't, because I know you.
00:27:58And you've always been tough, but you're just as insecure as I am.
00:28:02You know how to get under my skin.
00:28:05Bravo.
00:28:06You know, I thought we'd do something together this weekend since we never see each other.
00:28:13Don't worry. I learned my lesson.
00:28:18Boo!
00:28:21You call this a cat fight?
00:28:23What cat fight?
00:28:25You two have been at each other's throats all night.
00:28:27Fight already!
00:28:28We have more class than that.
00:28:30Yeah, we're sisters. We really love each other under all this hostility.
00:28:34Well, we'll see about that.
00:28:36Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure.
00:28:38All I know is there's a long night ahead of us.
00:28:41And this fight, it's not over.
00:28:43That's for certain.
00:28:45It might not be, but I think I hit the nail right on the head with you, Steph.
00:28:49Well, since you're so critical, what is your advice?
00:28:52My advice to you and to Jeff and to Bruce is get your heads out of the toilet and realize that life happens.
00:29:01Mothers die, boyfriends get fired, and people drink champagne.
00:29:06Good things happen and bad things happen.
00:29:09There's no real way life is supposed to be.
00:29:14Thank you for the Ferris Bueller monologue.
00:29:16No, it's true.
00:29:18Maybe I've been a bitch tonight, but out of all of you, I'm the only one happy.
00:29:22Amen.
00:29:30Guess I'm up.
00:29:39She's nuts. What happened?
00:29:42My sister just humiliated me by showing what a complete whack job she is.
00:29:47I thought you said this was going to be a fun night.
00:29:49Did I say that?
00:29:50Yeah, you did, Bruce.
00:29:52Oh, Jeff, come on over. Help me and my girlfriend move her dead mom's stuff.
00:29:56It'll be totally awesome. We'll spend the whole night just chit-chatting away, eating and drinking and having a good time.
00:30:00Yeah, it's been a real trip to the fun house. Thanks.
00:30:02Well, I didn't know the lights were going to go out. Everything was just fine before that happened.
00:30:06That's been the least of tonight's problems.
00:30:09Things change when you're marooned like this in the dark.
00:30:12You change. It's like being in the jungle.
00:30:14This place is about as filthy as the jungle.
00:30:16You think it's the dark that's turning my sister into a bitch?
00:30:19Well, let me give you a good example. Jeff, you may want to cover your ears for this.
00:30:23No, there's no covering ears here. I mean, Alex already humiliated me in front of him, so what humiliating thing did you have to say?
00:30:29Baby, calm down.
00:30:31I'm waiting.
00:30:32Okay, so let's just say this. Would you ever sell your body?
00:30:37No, absolutely not.
00:30:39Okay, but now imagine that you're broke, homeless, whatever, you name it. Now would you?
00:30:45I'm sure plenty of homeless people face that conundrum every day.
00:30:49But would you?
00:30:50No.
00:30:51Would you?
00:30:53Are you kidding? I don't even need to be homeless.
00:30:56The point is, when you're living in the dark, you change.
00:31:00You didn't prove anything. Jeff didn't have any morals to begin with, and I did.
00:31:05Well, you wait a couple more hours in the dark. See if your answer changes.
00:31:11Let's say you're right. What bothers me is the best example you can come up with is one that degrades women.
00:31:17I don't see how it's degrading to women.
00:31:20Would you sell your body to a man?
00:31:24Now you see my point.
00:31:30Hi, gang.
00:31:31I think we're all awake now.
00:31:33Fantastic. And I am out of here.
00:31:45Where are you going?
00:31:47Face it, Steph. The lights aren't coming back on anytime soon.
00:31:50We're not going to find a treasure chest in all this junk.
00:31:53I don't even want to know what's living in that kitchen.
00:31:55And I'm sick of hanging around here with all this Tennessee Williams stuff.
00:32:03And the fact that your mom is haunting the place right now? Really not helping.
00:32:07Yeah, but you can't go home, though. Remember, Washington Avenue is closed till 6 a.m.
00:32:12I'll get a motel room and get some sleep.
00:32:14You know, honey, that doesn't sound like that bad of an idea.
00:32:16Yeah, but all the motels around here will be part of the blackout, too.
00:32:19I will walk five towns over if I have to.
00:32:22Wait. I know I've been really difficult tonight to all three of you, and I'm sorry.
00:32:27But going out driving in the middle of the night with all the lights out is probably not the best idea.
00:32:32You had plans to come here and stay the night. Let's call a truce.
00:32:39Nope.
00:32:41Wait. She's right. And we owe it to Steph to at least look for this money until 6 a.m.
00:32:46This night's going to put us all in therapy.
00:32:49Look, I don't have a job, and come tomorrow, I have no idea what I'm doing for the rest of my life.
00:32:54I don't want to sound greedy, but, you know, I could use a little money.
00:32:58So I'd prefer if we didn't leave here until we found it.
00:33:01You know, Bruce, when you say that you got fired, you do remind me that I was fired, too.
00:33:08All right. Let's keep searching.
00:33:31All right. Enough putting off the inevitable.
00:33:59What?
00:34:00The books.
00:34:02That's more of a mom thing to hide your things in her books.
00:34:05Knew this was coming.
00:34:30I'm sorry.
00:34:31I'm sorry.
00:34:32I'm sorry.
00:34:33I'm sorry.
00:34:34I'm sorry.
00:34:35I'm sorry.
00:34:36I'm sorry.
00:34:37I'm sorry.
00:34:38I'm sorry.
00:34:39I'm sorry.
00:34:40I'm sorry.
00:34:41I'm sorry.
00:34:42I'm sorry.
00:34:43I'm sorry.
00:34:44I'm sorry.
00:34:45I'm sorry.
00:34:46I'm sorry.
00:34:47I'm sorry.
00:34:48I'm sorry.
00:34:49I'm sorry.
00:34:50I'm sorry.
00:34:51I'm sorry.
00:34:52I'm sorry.
00:34:53I'm sorry.
00:34:54I'm sorry.
00:34:55I'm sorry.
00:34:56I'm sorry.
00:34:57I'm sorry.
00:34:58I'm sorry.
00:34:59I'm sorry.
00:35:00I'm sorry.
00:35:01I'm sorry.
00:35:02I'm sorry.
00:35:03I'm sorry.
00:35:04I'm sorry.
00:35:05I'm sorry.
00:35:06I'm sorry.
00:35:07I'm sorry.
00:35:08I'm sorry.
00:35:09I'm sorry.
00:35:10I'm sorry.
00:35:11I'm sorry.
00:35:12I'm sorry.
00:35:13I'm sorry.
00:35:14I'm sorry.
00:35:15I'm sorry.
00:35:16I'm sorry.
00:35:17I'm sorry.
00:35:18I'm sorry.
00:35:19I'm sorry.
00:35:20I'm sorry.
00:35:21I'm sorry.
00:35:22I'm sorry.
00:35:23I'm sorry.
00:35:24I'm sorry.
00:35:25I'm sorry.
00:35:26I'm sorry.
00:35:27I'm sorry.
00:35:28I'm sorry.
00:35:29I'm sorry.
00:35:30I'm sorry.
00:35:31I'm sorry.
00:35:32I'm sorry.
00:35:33I'm sorry.
00:35:34I'm sorry.
00:35:35I'm sorry.
00:35:36I'm sorry.
00:35:37I'm sorry.
00:35:38I'm sorry.
00:35:39I'm sorry.
00:35:40I'm sorry.
00:35:41I'm sorry.
00:35:42I'm sorry.
00:35:43I'm sorry.
00:35:44I'm sorry.
00:35:45I'm sorry.
00:35:46I'm sorry.
00:35:47I'm sorry.
00:35:48I'm sorry.
00:35:49I'm sorry.
00:35:50I'm sorry.
00:35:51I'm sorry.
00:35:52I'm sorry.
00:35:53I'm sorry.
00:35:54I'm sorry.
00:35:55I'm sorry.
00:35:56I'm sorry.
00:35:57I don't know.
00:35:59That window over there…
00:36:00Where I first became religious.
00:36:02A window made you religious?
00:36:11When dawn comes you'll see what I mean.
00:36:14Christ, here comes another sermon.
00:36:17I mean, it's not like it happened one day and I got saved, but…
00:36:19saved but just years and years of walking by this window every morning when the light shines in
00:36:29little rays you know beams golden beams like someone wants to shine in on you
00:36:39it made me wonder why we had day and night and and green and brown and
00:36:46and leaves on the trees and the smell just a sweet wild and lonely smell that just
00:36:56just gets in your mind made me want to climb mountains
00:37:03well when dawn comes you'll see what i mean
00:37:07that's not really being religious stuff what you had a quasi-mystical response to nature
00:37:21i've had that too it makes you wonder what life's about why you're here you just don't understand
00:37:29no i do do you know what nirvana is
00:37:34and yes rest in peace kobe and that's not the nirvana i'm referring to i mean the nirvana in
00:37:39buddhism i'm not buddhist it's a state of not wanting anything complete bliss you had your
00:37:46nirvana yeah i heard there's like two sects of buddhism right yeah i studied all this in college
00:37:53the first one sees buddha sort of as a teacher someone to follow and the other one more as a god
00:37:59someone to worship i mean people just really like having gods you just haven't experienced what i
00:38:05have oh yeah you've testified to the holy spirit very much yeah so tell me this why are you having
00:38:12sex with your boyfriend over here but you're just a harpy about sex aren't you no no i'm cool i'm
00:38:20real cool all right all right all right how about this how about no more repressed hostility from
00:38:26now on why don't we all just speak openly yeah if somebody asks you a question about sex you
00:38:30just answer it that's not exactly what i meant no i'll answer your question alex making love
00:38:38can be very romantic and i happen to be in love with bruce yeah adorable but from a dogmatic
00:38:44point of view yes you're right lust is considered wrong but i disagree with that it's unrealistic to
00:38:51tell a couple not to have sex i mean we've all been in serious relationships right you just
00:38:58that has nothing to do with what i experienced by the window exactly spirituality and dogmatic
00:39:03religion have nothing to do with nothing and you've proven that just assures you are horny
00:39:07you're being way too clinical here who was your first lay what who was your first lay
00:39:16okay well if we're gonna volunteer our sexual histories here you're next
00:39:19fair game okay i've only ever slept with stephanie
00:39:25could you get it up the first time okay you stoop to a new low
00:39:29okay how many people have you had sex with zero what i've never had sex with anyone male or female
00:39:39really but alex you're older than i am what can i say i've been confused yeah you're a basket case
00:39:45you haven't said a single thing that's made sense all night i guess i'm having a lesbian cow moment
00:39:50i still don't get what that means you stop making fun of my joke i forgot you were even here jeff
00:39:56oh no you stay right there you are one vicious bitch i'm playing nice i haven't yelled at you
00:40:02at all in two hours i mean it you stay right there did it ever occur to you that your joke
00:40:07is offensive to both lesbians and cattle well if you are openly gay i would understand maybe
00:40:13why you take such issue with like this mindless joke but you don't even know who you are what's
00:40:18that supposed to mean it means you're in the closet and you're too confused to know even how
00:40:22far back he's right alex you are deep in the closet you are so far back you're where the snow
00:40:28and the lamppost are that's a wardrobe a literary scholar the point being are you a leslie or not
00:40:37i don't know i haven't really thought about it oh please i don't buy that for a second
00:40:42what are you gonna assault me now like you assaulted your sister is that gonna happen
00:40:45every time we talk about this i've just never put much thought into it well you sure have put a lot
00:40:50of thought into everything else like like how to break all three of us maybe you're the one who
00:40:54can't get it up really genius i can't get it up do i need to teach you about the female anatomy
00:40:59or were you too busy not getting that while you were doing my sister no he's right you've never
00:41:05done it and your one crush is unattainable you're the impotent one well
00:41:14checkmate
00:41:16man i should feel vindictive now but i just feel awkward
00:41:21how about we make friends no i don't trust any of you particularly you
00:41:26why because i told a stupid joke yes whoa
00:41:33okay there is definitely some kind of ghost in here
00:41:38what's your julia jeff what you're not making any sense
00:41:43you're not making any sense sorry lesbian cow moment but now i'm asking a serious question
00:41:50what's your julia we all know what my julia is it's been exposed for the whole world to see
00:41:55but what's your julia
00:41:59i know what it is it's not just one girl it's the whole lot of them
00:42:05it's because you can't get any what what are you talking about you're not making any sense
00:42:10you look like the guy on youtube is the best you could get and i've heard these aren't even the
00:42:14most successful of your exploits so in truth you're no different than me dumber yes lacking
00:42:22in personal sanitation yes but sexually quite impotent so i think you should join me on the
00:42:28floor of shame over here jeff is nowhere near as bad as you well i like to think of biting wit as a
00:42:34virtue unless you mean that somehow i should be ashamed of having a gay crush oh well at least
00:42:40you're actually saying the word now what do you know you men walk around with your shirts and
00:42:45pants off and think that you're entitled to everything on earth wow i guess it's true what
00:42:52they say about lesbians hating men oh believe me sweetie that part of my personality has been in play
00:42:57long ago
00:43:01so should we go back to looking for the money you and your stupid money i never want to hear the
00:43:08word money again after tonight look we're all cranky from lack of sleep therefore i suggest we
00:43:15all take a nap it'll be daylight in a few hours anyway i have a flight to catch tomorrow unless
00:43:21it's canceled maybe they'll let me keep the rental car for another day maybe they'll tell
00:43:26you where to put it what was that i said maybe they'll tell you where to get putting i'm sorry
00:43:32i was just having a lesbian cow moment well i'm going to take a nap i don't even care about the
00:43:40bed you're here come on
00:43:59i'm really not that tired i mean i knew we'd be up tonight well we had enough of an adventure
00:44:06tonight look i guess i should apologize for my sister what the holy hell is wrong with her
00:44:17i don't know i mean i knew she was aggressive but i've never seen her lash out at a complete
00:44:23stranger like that i guess he really had a nerve tonight well you started it you were the one who
00:44:28spotted the crush
00:44:37i can't sleep this bed is uncomfortable fine don't sleep just let me rest
00:44:44i know one thing we like to do when we can't sleep
00:44:47yeah but tonight's probably not the best night for that i'll change that in a few seconds
00:44:58okay
00:45:16close your eyes
00:45:29is that what i think it is yep what are you doing did you find the money you're kidding
00:45:38did you find the money and not tell me with all due respect you have a good motive for
00:45:41not doing so no that's not possible where would i hide it in my ass i just want to be sure
00:45:46more get out of here
00:45:54gotcha okay you made me wet myself that's great thanks you know i know you're not gonna murder me
00:46:03though oh yeah too religious uh-huh yeah well what can i say being in the dark changes your morals
00:46:09so you gotta tell me what's going on
00:46:27you know homer left me yeah like seven months ago
00:46:31my like excess baggage no you're great it's just
00:46:38he took everything it's like i got home one day and and him and half my stuff were gone and
00:46:47he never answered his phone again he even took my cello which he doesn't play just to hurt me i guess
00:46:55i could really use the money right now and it doesn't help that i hate my job and my boss
00:47:05the bitch makes me get on the floor to fix the firewire cables i mean i wish i wish my boss was
00:47:14a julia you know like she paid me gave me the respect i deserve sure i'd fell in love with the
00:47:21debts so that's what you want the money yes damn it i have a bachelor's i mean i shouldn't be
00:47:28running office errands and fixing cables i want to quit and start writing again i feel trapped
00:47:37you know like like i'm the one that can't get it up well that's how you feel that way
00:47:44you know everybody's first job sucks i know but what's the point they don't give you a
00:47:49position to move up to well you certainly are your sister's sister i don't know what that means
00:47:56but i have a feeling you're right i mean you can both get angry both dramatic you both kill me to
00:48:04prove a point that's just our sense of humor we definitely inherited that from mom yeah i think
00:48:12you inherited more than you'd like to share but anyway it doesn't matter
00:48:19sorry about your job you didn't deserve that i know that's exactly what my boss said which
00:48:25just made it sting even worse but anyway i guess you take some pleasure lying here reminiscing
00:48:34about how much life sucks the problem is what do you do when you have to get up i don't know
00:48:43you know i feel like i've known you a lot longer than however many months you said it was five
00:48:52yeah you're a lot wiser than your years just complimented by your sister what's that mean well
00:49:01that i wondered about you well if it makes you feel any better you're all i have i mean
00:49:11i'm sure we won't see much of alex after tonight so you're the only person i'm close to
00:49:19but you've been good to me more like a husband than a boyfriend you know boyfriends come and go
00:49:29and then one day when you're at a friend's house they come over and steal your freaking cello
00:49:36huh i'm sure if i had a cello you wouldn't steal it
00:49:43oh i don't know what i do know is that life is not a fairy tale
00:49:51it's been a hard pill to swallow coming from someone who grew up bringing jay to austin
00:49:56oh i'd like to think i'm not as bad as all that
00:49:59you're not
00:50:05hey why'd you tell your sister about us what you know that we did it
00:50:14like you don't tell your guy friends yeah but they're not gonna grill you in your face because
00:50:19you couldn't get it up you did have trouble getting it up at first yeah i know i mean
00:50:24it's okay you just gotta learn the ropes gotta learn how to properly stimulate the little guy
00:50:31well it's kind of cute in retrospect yeah it was
00:50:36hey you know it wouldn't have been the easiest honeymoon if we'd have waited
00:50:42sex has been good for me i hope it's been good for you too
00:50:46do you think we'll ever get married you can't ask a question like that after five months oh
00:50:52i'm not proposing i just want to see if you could see it working
00:51:00honestly no not right now it's not because i don't care about you because i do but it's just like
00:51:06no not right now it's not because i don't care about you because i do but it's just like
00:51:11i don't think we're mature well that's kind of my point that we all four of us are not yet mature
00:51:22what do you mean immature no there's a difference i mean i agree with you i don't want to be a wife
00:51:29and i love you and i'm glad we're here sharing a moment
00:51:38a moment where i said i think i'm gonna marry you
00:51:43no a moment of honesty
00:51:49fine fair enough let's just share our moment of bliss then
00:51:59ah
00:52:09what is it someone hit me hello i've been right here the whole time
00:52:16what what do you mean hit okay maybe not like hit but grazed me jeff do you honestly think it was me
00:52:23no no i guess couldn't have been you i i opened my eyes right after it happened you were sitting
00:52:28right there so that that wouldn't make sense i don't know i wouldn't put it past alex to
00:52:32feel up a random person then jump back enough look there's like a ghost in here stop saying
00:52:36that you've been saying that all night does it not strike you guys there's something a little
00:52:39off in this house it has been ever since we got here maybe you've been in the dark too much no
00:52:45no no no no no there is a ghost here look at this i'm bleeding you did that just now you
00:52:49there is a ghost here look at this i'm bleeding you did that just now you nimrod look you're
00:52:53squeezing it does it really hurt that bad i mean i already got assaulted tonight
00:52:58wasn't by a ghost though yes it hurts i have a wound maybe this ghost is the patron saint
00:53:08of lesbian cows come on i'll tend to it
00:53:13i've always hated this bathroom me too i think some of my first drinks were in here
00:53:28a little vodka in high school every time you visited mom you always asked to go to the bathroom
00:53:33yeah most of my memories of that toilet are throwing up in it hi my name is jeff and i'm
00:53:39bleeding wait a second here's the alcohol and the cough syrup where's the liquid ammonia
00:53:52i'm dead serious it's liquid ammonia it's a chemical it's dangerous
00:53:56well i didn't take it neither did i you all showered in here you are all alone in the bathroom
00:54:02i mean unless we showered in the ammonia i don't know where it would have gone
00:54:06you can check our pockets if you want stuff why would anyone steal ammonia
00:54:10was the money in there or something no it obviously wouldn't fit so what's the big deal
00:54:16the big deal is that it was here a few minutes ago and the fact that it's missing is
00:54:21a little creepy thank you and once again i'm out of here you're you're off again
00:54:30what's your going now i am freaked out enough as it is i'm sure that a shrink would find all
00:54:39three of you very special you don't really think there's a ghost in here do you i'm sorry i'm not
00:54:46shaggy and i can't be bribed with scooby snacks to stay and face a ghost zoinks wait jeff it's
00:54:52almost five washington avenue will be open at 6 00 a.m. there are plenty of other ways
00:54:59to pass an hour till six that's what you agreed to
00:55:10this has been the longest night in the history of my life in one night i've seen the worst out of
00:55:15all three of you and i just met you two girls hey man i haven't been that bad
00:55:19no that's right you're exonerated cool look i'm bleeding i'm tired and i stink i'm still here
00:55:33so what do you suggest we do for the remaining hour
00:55:36well we never finished the books we could give another run at it
00:55:40okay one more hour all right then i'm out of here see ya
00:56:10so
00:56:41uh
00:56:59it looks really nice out guys you want to go for a walk
00:57:11so
00:57:21okay
00:57:38like someone wants to shine in on you
00:57:39and it made me wonder why we had day and night and green and brown and leaves on the trees
00:57:52alex
00:58:07thank you yeah of course
00:58:13i guess a little spirituality can kill you no idiots driving around at 6 00 a.m can kill you
00:58:22oh there we go hello service uh hi susan
00:58:40hilton yep just this morning so we're gonna have a lot of new openings and we'll need you
00:58:44to stay on board you oh wow thanks no cancellations i guess i'm taking the flight
00:58:54back to cali so the weather's good i think should be fine yes yes it won't be exactly
00:59:02the same job but there's a chance uh what about jeff so uh i think i'm gonna tell julie i'm in
00:59:08love with her well we need as many people as we can the whole office structure is gonna change
00:59:13that is absolutely amazing i mean i know her feelings aren't mutual but
00:59:18what's the worst that could happen well you never know might be a little weird but
00:59:26maybe it'll help the friendship what about that girl what girl your friend laura
00:59:35i haven't talked to her in a very long time i'll do my part if you do yours
00:59:47it's not like you're not brave okay all right
00:59:54deal
00:59:57that's amazing the hilton just up and bought the mara in this morning just so suddenly
01:00:02a fire
01:00:05it was in the ballroom in the middle of the night but it was a blow we didn't need right now
01:00:09that's incredible well the weird part and this is really the last thing i can tell you first then i
01:00:14gotta go make the calls but the really weird part is how the fire started they explained it to me and
01:00:18it was something i didn't understand about an explosion with metal ions but the bottom line is
01:00:22it all started because a leak of liquid ammonia and no one has any clue where it came from
01:00:27the ammonia is still missing where could it be it's the ghost man i'm telling you the ghost went
01:00:33and saved our jobs for all i know one of you could have taken the ammonia and started the fire
01:00:39yourself what what you were both out of sight for quite some time oh oh yeah actually you're right
01:00:47alex i am i stole the ammonia drove the car out of the house and now i'm the one who's
01:00:52oh oh yeah actually you're right alex i am i stole the ammonia drove two hours all the way
01:00:58to the hotel started the fire drove two hours all the way back and then those
01:01:03four hours i was gone nobody noticed well whatever
01:01:08thank you ghost mom you're here
01:01:25well this has been a great night of accomplishing nothing
01:01:29i guess the last half hour worked out though
01:01:32you guys got your jobs back and i almost died now i got a plane to catch bye sis
01:01:47she's such a good girl guys isn't she
01:01:50bye stephanie it was nice meeting you bye i'll take a long nap when i get home but i'll call you
01:01:56as soon as i regain consciousness okay thank you sweetie well i guess you guys have to drive off
01:02:03towards the highway don't you yep sorry i gave you guys so much grief tonight especially you jeff
01:02:10sorry i gave you guys so much grief tonight especially you jeff you're a good person
01:02:16and valiant blah blah blah basically i saved your ass yeah thank you ain't no thing but a chicken
01:02:24wang take good care of her
01:02:36steph i almost forgot you have to give a speech sweetie
01:02:40just like mom did she wouldn't let any visitors leave before she gave a speech
01:02:49all right then i guess i'll make one
01:02:54okay
01:02:56my dear friends over the last three years i've lost everything my friends are all gone
01:03:08now my mom's gone
01:03:12but it's like i said before
01:03:17life happens there's no way that it's supposed to be
01:03:24i'm getting older now and the best thing i could do is let other people live their lives
01:03:32find my own peace
01:03:35now this place this place is the only link i have to my past
01:03:44but it's also memento in a different way a museum of childhood
01:03:49a museum of childhood
01:03:53and childhood well at least my childhood was built on a false idea
01:04:00of the way life was supposed to be like
01:04:05so i'm happy to let it go
01:04:09i don't know what it meant to you guys maybe it was some kind of temple of torture or something
01:04:16but for one night just one night it was a home again and i was happy to say goodbye to it
01:04:28i guess there's no conclusion i could reach here
01:04:33there are no real conclusions no solid ones maybe tomorrow julia will kiss me
01:04:42maybe tomorrow julia will kiss me
01:04:46or she'll fire me or she'll never speak to me again
01:04:53it's unavoidable
01:05:03i feel a trance right now
01:05:05i don't know like the one i was describing earlier the kind that buddhists call nirvana
01:05:16i desire nothing
01:05:21and i feel a tiny tinge of gratitude for every moment that i live
01:05:31amen amen
01:06:35mom really lived like this
01:06:39mom would always say her money was in the toilet
01:07:05so
01:07:21stephanie hand me that book yes mom alexandra are you listening yeah trust me mom i can always hear
01:07:28you oh you're an incorrigible young lady now where is that poem what is mine all belongs to
01:07:38my children what i take belongs to the forthcoming generation a strange little band inflicting pain
01:07:47with joy how affirming it must feel to be death to take the pieces of life and place them together
01:07:55however you fancy them to be construed a space too vast to be even a puzzle pouring endlessly
01:08:04over the edge
01:08:25so
01:08:55so
01:09:25so
01:09:56so
01:10:16you