Beautiful Disaster Part 1

  • 2 months ago
Transcript
00:00Thanks for watching.
00:30Have your attention please. Bus 1164 from Vegas to Sacramento is now departing.
00:55Oh my god. Sorry I ran off. I need a fresh start.
01:03I'm done bailing you out.
01:13Look your opponent in the eyes, even when you're shuffling.
01:20I'm not going to play poker anymore.
01:24I've always wanted to go to college and I've just been accepted second semester.
01:32I want to live a normal life with kids my age.
01:36I'll call you when I'm ready to talk. Abby.
01:45I missed you. I missed you so much.
01:54I can't believe you're finally here. You.
01:57I'm sorry. What are you wearing?
02:00That's the new me.
02:02Are you good? Yeah.
02:05Do you want to see our dorm? Yes.
02:07Because we're roommates. Yeah.
02:11Oh my god, it is so good to see you. I feel like it's been like months.
02:19Yeah, the neighbors are pretty decent.
02:21Though the guy across the hall, they've sent horrendous blueberry shit 24-7.
02:24And also plays Nickelback non-stop. Easy.
02:27Also the showers suck. I'm sure the showers don't suck.
02:31So you really spruced up the place.
02:34Yeah, you know, I just wanted to wait for you to get here.
02:38What's his name?
02:41Shepley.
02:43And he is so hot.
02:46Hmm. He doesn't have any face piercings.
02:49Yeah, I don't know. Sometimes you just wake up one day and like pistachios.
02:54He's really excited to meet you though, and he is taking us out tonight.
02:58Oh no, I'm so tired.
03:00No, I just got here. It was a long bus ride. I just want to stay here and study.
03:04It'll be so chill. Catholic school will let you off for one night.
03:07No, I'm not going.
03:08Yes, we're going. Take off the chastity belt and let go.
03:11No, I don't want to go. I have to study, Mayor. Mayor.
03:14So where are we going?
03:16Oh, it's a surprise.
03:19I think there's a guy in here.
03:22Never mind.
03:28Oh, hey. Oh, by the way, we don't talk about the circle. It's a secret.
03:31What's a secret?
03:33Exactly.
03:38Welcome to the Bloodbath!
03:44If you're looking for Economics 101, you are in the wrong fucking place.
03:48But if you seek the circle, this is Mecca!
03:53My name is Adam. I make the rules and I call the fight.
03:56Tonight, we have a new challenger.
03:59Eastern Star Wrestling Wrestler, Marek Young!
04:08All right, all right.
04:11Now, our reigning champ needs no introduction.
04:14But because he scares the shit out of me, I'm going to give him one.
04:17So shake in your boots, boys, and drop your panties, ladies.
04:20I give you Travis Maddow Maddox!
04:27You know, this isn't for me. I'm going to go back to the dorm and study.
04:33Hello.
04:38Mad?
04:41Uh-huh.
04:52You ready? You ready?
04:55Fight!
05:08Yeah!
05:20Oh, okay.
05:23Oh, shit!
05:27Come on, Travis!
05:32Money! Show me your money!
05:35Um, excuse me. Are you new here?
05:38Yeah, I...
05:42Oh, shit!
05:44Get up, Travis! Come on!
05:46Come on! Get up!
05:50There it is! Yeah! There it is!
05:54Yeah!
06:03For one. Come on, Travis!
06:20Winner!
06:23Travis! Travis!
06:26Winner!
06:39You okay?
06:43Uh-huh.
06:45Hey, you standing here, I don't know if that's good for me.
06:48I usually don't get distracted like that.
06:52Sorry about your sweater, pigeon.
06:55Travis, you owe my cash cow, baby.
07:00I can take you anywhere.
07:19Who you think I am?
07:22I'm not your woman.
07:25You're not my man.
07:29You poured the river.
07:32And then you built the dam.
07:35So don't play the victim.
07:38Cause it was all in your hands, your hands.
07:42It was all in your hands, your hands.
07:47What's up, pigeon?
07:50I fucking hate you!
07:52You're getting the whole lot tonight!
07:55You're a liar!
07:57You're a liar!
07:59Wow.
08:02Listen, Abby.
08:04Tuition payments need to be issued through a bank account or a credit card.
08:08There is accountability to be considered, not to mention the taxes.
08:12I'm in the process of setting one up.
08:14Can't your parents help you out?
08:17It's complicated.
08:20My mom I haven't spoken to in years, and my dad is not the best guy.
08:27My dad is not the best guy.
08:31I'll allow it for this semester, but sort yourself out a bank account because this will not be happening again.
08:37Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
08:40So I talked to the bursar this morning and she ended up taking the cash.
08:43I mean, at least I'm covered for the semester.
08:46What happens when the money runs out?
08:48I don't know.
08:49I'll find a job or I'll get a scholarship. I'll figure something out.
08:52I'm coming.
08:54Hey pumpkin, got you a coffee here.
08:57Thank you.
08:58That's for you.
08:59Thanks.
09:00How was last night? Did you have fun?
09:02Yeah, it was memorable.
09:04So what was the deal with the one guy, the guy that was covered in tattoos?
09:07Oh, that's his cousin. He's his oppa.
09:09Oh, that guy goes to college?
09:12Wow, that is surprising.
09:14What's surprising?
09:15That you go to college.
09:18Why can't I go to college?
09:19I didn't say it, bro. She said it.
09:21What? No, I didn't say that.
09:22Sorry, have you met?
09:23Oh, you don't remember Travis? You ruined her sweater.
09:26I ruin a lot of sweaters.
09:27I'm pretty sure they retired bad devil entendre.
09:30Pigeon.
09:31Abby. My name is Abby.
09:33Travis. Travis Maddox.
09:36Does that move really work?
09:39No, not a single time. But it is sincere.
09:42You're not my type.
09:44I'm everybody's type.
09:46See, I got you. I got a smile out of you.
09:49No, no, that was not a smile. That was actually a condescending chuckle.
09:53Yeah.
09:56Hey, I'm gonna come over right now.
09:59See you later, pigeon.
10:00Abby, my name is Abby.
10:02Well, it's pigeon now.
10:03Can you believe that guy?
10:05And that is what brings us to the discovery of game theory.
10:10Now, game theory is a term that was pioneered in the 1950s by mathematician John Nash.
10:17The term game is defined as any interaction where each person's payoff is affected by the decisions made by others, such as...
10:27Wow.
10:36He's so hot.
10:40That one's my favorite.
10:43It's too late to close it now.
10:46Has anyone ever told you that it's not very polite to...
10:48Young lady.
10:51What is your name?
10:52Abby.
10:53Ms. Abby.
10:55Would you care to educate us as to why Nash's equilibrium is irrelevant to game theory?
10:59Irrelevant? I can't.
11:02Well, then perhaps you should focus a little more on...
11:04Well, but that's because it is relevant.
11:07If equilibrium is achieved, that means that both players can increase payoff by changing decisions unilaterally.
11:13It can also be known as no regrets in the sense that once a player does make a decision, they'll have no regrets thinking about the consequences.
11:21Have you been reading ahead?
11:23A bit.
11:26As I was saying...
11:27Wow, pigeon, that was so hot. You got brains.
11:30Why are you here?
11:32Why are you sending me mixed signals?
11:33There's nothing mixed about my signals.
11:35I just caught you insta-stalking me.
11:37I was not insta-stalking.
11:39Hey, look, I'm going to save you a lot of wasted time. You can stop the antics, okay? I'm not sleeping with you.
11:45I'm not trying to sleep with you or bag you. I'm just trying to take you to dinner.
11:49Bag me? What am I, groceries?
11:52Have you not read a newspaper in the last four years? Men don't talk like that anymore.
11:56Which men?
11:58The evolved men of planet Earth. The ones who are actually in touch with their feelings.
12:06I don't like you.
12:10Leave me alone.
12:14You're not going to let this go, are you?
12:16I'll pick you up at eight.
12:19But wait, you don't have my number.
12:36You dress up for me?
12:37No, I didn't have to because this is not a date.
12:41Well, I hope you're hungry.
12:43No, no, no, I don't need this because I'm not getting on that thing.
12:47Yeah, you are.
12:49Do you know the statistics of motorcycles and accidents? No, I'm not getting on that thing.
12:54Yeah, you are.
12:59I can do this all night.
13:04Fine.
13:07Thanks, Peter.
13:11You're really not going to let me buy you dinner?
13:13No, this isn't a date.
13:15Yes, I'm aware. You've said that twice now.
13:18Oh, you noticed.
13:20That and your outfit, which screams, I detest Travis.
13:23I don't detest you. I just don't like being a foregone conclusion for one of the many, many, many notches on your bedpost.
13:31Ooh, you're smart. I like that.
13:33Something you're probably not used to in a woman.
13:36I'm striking out. I surrender.
13:39We can at least be friends.
13:40Friends, but with no benefits.
13:43We're not sleeping together. I won't even think about the benefits unless you want me to.
13:48No, that can't happen so that we can stay friends.
13:53Friends. Friends.
13:57I've been coming to this place for years. My family home's only three miles that way.
14:01Aw, you couldn't move farther away from your mommy.
14:04No, that's not it.
14:06Our grilled cheese was just that good.
14:09Well, she's dead.
14:11Shut up.
14:15Are you serious?
14:18I'm such an asshole. I'm so sorry. I feel horrible.
14:21It's okay. It's okay. I was only three.
14:24Okay, I'm not that sorry. Get your hand off me.
14:28How's your dad?
14:30He's still alive, so you can make fun of him.
14:32He's a good man. He raised five boys all on his own.
14:35Five Maddox brothers?
14:37Yeah. Thomas, Taylor, Tyler, Trenton and Travis.
14:41If you want to get good at fighting, having four older brothers beat your ass daily is a good place to start.
14:45But why do it?
14:47College ain't cheap. Fighting's a good way to make money.
14:50Just seems unnecessarily risky.
14:53Why? You worried about me?
14:56Not even in the slightest.
14:59What's your story?
15:00What's your story?
15:02Just your average girl from your ordinary town.
15:06Mom and dad?
15:07One of each.
15:08Wow, you're a wealth of information.
15:10Well, I can't give away all the goods on one night.
15:13Most do. And I actually enjoy it.
15:17Are you seriously leaving?
15:18Dinner's over.
15:20We just got started.
15:22Good night, Travis.
15:31Bye.
15:33Hey, Purple's a winner.
15:35Need a little help?
15:36Yeah.
15:39Oh no!
15:45He's fine.
15:47Okay, it's okay. He's okay.
15:49I'm fine.
15:50Are you okay?
15:51No, I'm fine.
15:53I'm so sorry.
15:54Oh God.
15:56You're so cute and you're crying.
15:58I'm not crying. It's the wind.
16:02How long have you been captain of the Frisbee Club?
16:04Oh no, no, no. I'm not captain of the Frisbee Club.
16:06It was a joke. It was a joke. I'm Parker.
16:09Hi. Hi, I'm Abby.
16:11I'm gonna go. I'm gonna wobble.
16:14You should put some ice on your balls.
16:16You should put some ice on my balls.
16:18Okay.
16:20Yeah, I'm gonna go.
16:22It was really nice to meet you, Parker.
16:26Thanks, ma'am.
16:27Fuck you.
16:28Be careful.
16:39Ow.
16:41Ow.
16:42Could someone turn the water back on?
16:46So the RA said we're gonna be without water for the next 24 hours,
16:49so it's just for the night.
16:50Are you sure Sharply's cool with this?
16:52Hey, Abby's staying over.
16:54Just stay out of Travis' room, alright?
16:56What?
16:57You didn't tell me that Travis lives here.
16:59No, of course I did. No, remember I told you?
17:00No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
17:01Abby, Abby, no.
17:02No, I'm leaving.
17:03No, I promise you we'll never see him.
17:05He's never even here.
17:06You won't see him, I promise.
17:07You have to stay. It'll be so fun.
17:08Hey, tell her that Travis will be okay.
17:10Oh, you won't care. He likes you.
17:12He doesn't know me.
17:13He likes you.
17:14We're gonna have so much fun.
17:15We'll make s'mores.
17:16Hey, let's go.
17:17Bye.
17:18Bye.
17:19Bye.
17:24Abby.
17:25Babe.
17:26It's Dad.
17:28Where'd you go?
17:30Could you return the call?
17:33Or at least text me back?
17:38Yes.
17:39Yes, I'm here.
17:41Yes.
17:43To the right.
17:44Yes.
17:45That's it.
17:46Go.
17:47Yes.
17:49Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.
17:56Excuse-moi.
17:57Tu peux donner cette note à Travis, s'il te plaît?
17:59Sure.
18:00Okay, merci.
18:19Jesus!
18:20Enjoy the show?
18:21You scared the crap out of me.
18:23You know, that's not a very attractive idiom once you stop and think about it.
18:26Because in your sexist universe, women don't actually defecate?
18:29Wow, that's a perfect word for someone like you.
18:31Did you know that the saying used to be,
18:33put Jesus out of me?
18:35Your friend gave this to me to give to you.
18:40What?
18:41The woman that you just had sex with gives you her number and you just throw it away?
18:45That's not her leaving her number.
18:47That's her marking her territory.
18:49Well, then maybe you shouldn't have sex with her.
18:51I don't remember promising her a thing.
18:53Wow.
18:54You embody everything that is wrong with your gender.
18:56She's an adult, I'm an adult.
18:58It was consensual.
18:59Look at this.
19:01Consent date.
19:03Never be too careful nowadays.
19:04How many women do you have contracts with?
19:06No idea.
19:07I'm a quality guy over quantity.
19:09Ugh, I'm gonna throw up.
19:11Well, my bedroom is down the hall,
19:13and the bed is all yours for when you want to crash.
19:15I'm not gonna sleep in your bed.
19:16Why?
19:17No one but me sleeps in my bed.
19:19My bed is sacred ground.
19:20Well, then why would I be allowed in your bed?
19:22Are you planning on having sex with me in bed?
19:24No.
19:26Then it's settled.
19:33Wow.
19:34Make yourself at home.
19:35Sorry, I just have a big 10 a.m. bio test to cram for,
19:37but I can move back to the kitchen.
19:39Nah, you're fine.
19:40Stay where you're at.
19:41Silly.
19:42Thank you.
19:43Do you want me to make you some tea or something?
19:44No, but, um, my highlighter just died.
19:46Can I borrow one?
19:47Oh, yeah, check the top drawer.
19:51Wait, um...
19:54Wow.
19:55That's a lot.
19:56It's practicing safe sex a crime.
20:01What's this?
20:02It's not a highlighter, I'll tell you that.
20:09Um...
20:10Is this a yo-yo?
20:11No, definitely not.
20:12It's awkward.
20:13I'm gonna go shower.
20:43Don't.
20:44Don't.
20:45Don't.
20:46Don't.
20:47Don't.
20:48Don't.
20:49Don't.
20:50Don't.
20:51Don't.
20:52Don't.
20:53Don't.
20:54Don't.
20:55Don't.
20:56Don't.
20:57Don't.
20:58Don't.
20:59Don't.
21:00Don't.
21:01Don't.
21:02Don't.
21:03Don't.
21:04Don't.
21:05Don't.
21:06Don't.
21:07Don't.
21:08Don't.
21:09Don't.
21:10Don't.
21:11Don't.
21:12Don't.
21:13Don't.
21:14Don't.
21:15Don't.
21:16Don't.
21:17Don't.
21:18Don't.
21:19Don't.
21:20Don't.
21:21Don't.
21:22Don't.
21:23Don't.
21:24Don't.
21:25Don't.
21:26Don't.
21:27Don't.
21:28Don't.
21:29Don't.
21:30Don't.
21:31Don't.
21:32Don't.
21:33Don't.
21:34Don't.
21:35Don't.
21:36Don't.
21:37Don't.
21:38Don't.
21:39Don't.
21:41Mouse.
21:44Abby.
21:46Hello?
21:47You're cute.
21:48Mhm.
21:49Much.
21:51Um, it's...
21:53Not what you think it is.
21:57Abby, you're...
21:58Wait, what are you doing?
22:00Hug.
22:01Aaaaaaaaaaah!
22:07Abby!
22:08Abby!
22:09What is wrong with you?
22:10I didn't do anything.
22:11You touched me.
22:12Oh, says the man with the raging hard-on.
22:14You should be locked up.
22:15You're the sleepy cock-toucher.
22:17I didn't put your hand there.
22:18And if you bothered to read a biology textbook,
22:20you'd find out that it's called parasympathetic nerve response,
22:23and you'd know that if you knew anything about biology or men.
22:25Oh, shit.
22:26Bio, what time is it?
22:28942.
22:29Oh, my God.
22:30What are you wearing?
22:31We were playing.
22:33Playing?
22:34Let me give you a ride.
22:35No.
22:36This is just a madhouse.
22:39A nurse?
22:40No, nothing.
22:42Sorry.
22:45Sorry.
22:46Oh, my God!
22:47Stop!