"My fairytale £40k wedding was so stressful it gave me PTSD"
Credit: SWNS / Lucinda Rose
A woman said her £40k wedding "ruined her life" - after planning the big day proved so stressful that it left her "broken" and unable to talk about it for three months after.
Lucinda Rose, 39, was thrilled when her partner Ian Brown, 43, popped the big question in January 2023 after 16 months of dating.
They booked a venue for September - and Lucinda told Ian she'd plan the whole thing.
But Lucinda's elaborate plan quickly snowballed in a bid to create a 'perfect wedding', inspired by Hollywood films and influencers' Instagram reels.
Lucinda found herself booking everything from fireworks and a string quartet to an ice cream van and even a horse and carriage.
She continued working full-time and filled every extra waking minute with calls, emails, bookings and organising details - even sacrificing sleep.
By the time the big day rolled around, the bride was so overwhelmed she couldn't even focus on her own wedding, she said.
A woman said her £40k wedding "ruined her life" - after planning the big day proved so stressful that it left her "broken" and unable to talk about it for three months after.
Lucinda Rose, 39, was thrilled when her partner Ian Brown, 43, popped the big question in January 2023 after 16 months of dating.
They booked a venue for September - and Lucinda told Ian she'd plan the whole thing.
But Lucinda's elaborate plan quickly snowballed in a bid to create a 'perfect wedding', inspired by Hollywood films and influencers' Instagram reels.
Lucinda found herself booking everything from fireworks and a string quartet to an ice cream van and even a horse and carriage.
She continued working full-time and filled every extra waking minute with calls, emails, bookings and organising details - even sacrificing sleep.
By the time the big day rolled around, the bride was so overwhelmed she couldn't even focus on her own wedding, she said.
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LifestyleTranscript
00:00I don't really remember most of my wedding because I was just so stressed and burnt out.
00:11My name is Lucinda Rose, I am 39 years old and my wedding ruined my life temporarily
00:18because it burnt me out to a debilitating level.
00:22Ian actually didn't want a big wedding at all, he kept saying he wanted us to just elope,
00:28just the two of us, and my original plan was to keep it very small, maximum of 50 people.
00:34I didn't want to spend any more than £15,000.
00:37Then I found the venue and everything sort of spiralled from there because the venue
00:42could fit a lot more people, but we also wanted a pagan handfasting ceremony because that
00:48was also incredibly meaningful to us.
00:54I then just started to become obsessed with the finer details.
00:57My family were paying for the majority of it.
01:01They then wanted to invite people that they wanted.
01:04It then became, okay, well, if you're having those people, then I'm going to invite the
01:07other people that I haven't put on the list yet, and so it just became bigger and bigger.
01:12We wanted to have it very unique to us, which it did end up being, but making it unique
01:18meant that all these little details kept popping up and it was like, well, I want that too
01:23and I want that.
01:24I just became so obsessed with the details and making it personal that the budget went
01:29completely out of the window.
01:33On the day of the wedding, I remember having a few minutes to myself in the morning and
01:39thinking you've really got to take this in because you've spent so much money.
01:44It's been nine months of your life.
01:45You haven't been able to focus on anything else, so you better enjoy this.
01:50I cannot remember anything that happened in the church because I was trying so hard to
01:55focus on it.
01:56After that, I just started drinking for a way to get through it, really, which ended
02:02up with me passing out on the bouncy castle at the end of the night because I had drunk
02:05way too much alcohol.
02:07Although I did enjoy the day, I don't feel I was particularly present.
02:11I didn't really have a conversation with anybody.
02:13I would say hi to people and then I was running around doing things.
02:16I don't really remember most of my wedding because I was just so stressed and burnt out
02:22and then drunk.
02:27I got home, I burst into tears, I went to bed and I didn't get out of bed for days.
02:33I just, this pure physical exhaustion.
02:37I could function, but my brain just was not working.
02:40I could only think of what I had to do in that minute.
02:43I couldn't respond to messages.
02:45I couldn't talk to people.
02:46I could barely have a conversation with Ian.
02:52I tried to talk to a couple of people, a couple of friends, and they didn't understand.
02:56They said, oh yeah, the wedding blues, you know, it happens to everybody.
03:00They just dismissed it.
03:01We are conditioned to only talk about the good stuff and not the bad stuff because the
03:05bad stuff is shameful.
03:07I saw stuff about weddings and I was like, well, I want that because that looks really
03:10nice and I want to experience that.
03:12But then social media is a projection.
03:15It's a projection of what we want other people to see.
03:18It's rare to find authenticity within social media.
03:23I found a community of people who could relate.
03:26You know, it's all about it looking nice and shiny on Instagram and not actually the reality.
03:32I know that I'm not alone in how I feel.