fukery
Transcript
00:00Let's go.
00:07Hey, where's the rest?
00:09It's all yours. Eat it.
00:12Eat it.
00:13Let me eat it.
00:13Eat it all.
00:14Let me eat it.
00:17Brother, can you get me my Deja-Chu?
00:20What did you lose?
00:23The underwear?
00:24Yes, my favourite.
00:25Oh, wow!
00:28Brother, where did you buy this nylon underwear?
00:30This elastic seems very strong.
00:33Why? Don't you have one?
00:34No, my mom gets me loose elastic underwears from Budhbara.
00:39Three for Rs. 50.
00:41Wait a minute.
00:43Honey, what is this?
00:44Are you going to look for our underwears?
00:46No, man.
00:47You were looking for the emperor's treasure.
00:51Hey, you!
00:52Yes?
00:53Come here.
00:55Here's your advance.
00:56The rest after the work is done.
00:58No, son.
00:59I don't take money from kids.
01:01Brother, these are not underwears.
01:04This is a free fund.
01:09Give me the phone.
01:11Here, you idiot.
01:12Smell it and start.
01:17It's so raw.
01:19It stinks even from the phone.
01:20It's not raw.
01:22The phone stinks.
01:23I have kept it in the thief's pocket.
01:30Hey, come back the day after tomorrow.
01:32Okay, fine.
01:33Son, put it in this.
01:35Take it off.
01:36I'll come back in a while.
01:37Yes, bring it. Full payment.
01:39Yes, not just the price and the punishment.
01:42Even God's gift had bowed down before the kids' unlucky fate.
01:48Dogs, cats, chickens of Jamuna Park.
01:53Sonu's geometry box.
01:55Monu's sketch pen.
01:56Grandpa's long glasses.
01:58Grandma's fake chappda.
01:59Brother-in-law's birth certificate.
02:01Sister-in-law's character certificate.
02:03Sweety's pink frog and Pinky's nail polish.
02:06That's it.
02:07The golden Lanka of the Phukras
02:09had been ruined by the exploitation of these small things.
02:14I remembered Lanka.
02:15Bholi was also travelling a lot from Ravan Raj to Ram Raj.
02:21Bholi was also travelling a lot from Ravan Raj to Ram Raj.
02:51Who has filled the candidate form?
02:52What language is this?
02:55Madam, please fill another form.
02:59Go.
03:22Madam, leave it. Give it to me. I'll fill it and give it to you.
03:25Give it to me.
03:31Yes, what's your full name?
03:34Bholi Punjaban.
03:37I'm Kalin Bhaiya.
03:41Madam, tell me the name that your parents have given you.
03:52Foolkumari Sehgal.
03:57Shit, man.
03:58Who keeps trying to name a fool?
04:03Fool.
04:04You fool, this is a Hindi flower.
04:06It means flower.
04:08My name means virgin flower.
04:10Okay, okay.
04:21Yes, Foolkumari Sehgal.
04:30You are not welcome in Janta store.
04:36Your underarm is getting a lot of water.
04:40I think it's because of the kulchis.
04:43Your fried momos taste like kulchis.
04:45Get married now.
04:51Done.
05:08Hello.
05:10Say hello to your mom.
05:12Why did you hang up?
05:14I thought I must've called by mistake.
05:16Pocket dialling.
05:17Or else why would you call this stupid thing?
05:20You're really nothing.
05:22I'm just helpless.
05:24As far as my wallet is concerned, I don't need it anymore.
05:27I'm just robbing people with both my hands.
05:29Wow! What a coincidence.
05:31This is what's going on here as well, Ms. Bholi.
05:33You're in a bad shape.
05:35Listen to me.
05:36I've robbed the rich people.
05:39Get me the crowd.
05:41The election is around the corner. I have to campaign.
05:43Get those scoundrels to work.
05:45Ms. Bholi, honey has stopped dancing.
05:48Otherwise, the crowd would have gathered in a couple of minutes.
05:50If you say, I'll wear a khakha choli and reach there.
05:54Panditji, I can... I can get the crowd together.
06:01Forgive me, brother.
06:02Last time, you got the Delhi crowd together.
06:15How to get the crowd together?
06:19Stop that nonsense.
06:20And reach there with Choocha.
06:22Bobby will whatsapp the address.
06:23I... Okay.
06:25I'll also whatsapp the bank details.
06:27I'm an RTS...
06:27I've had my hair cut.
06:30I'll send the khakhra choli.
06:32If Choocha fails, you'll be the one to dance.
06:35Oh, my God!
06:38Bro, I just got a shock.
06:43I saw it.
06:44I saw a huge crowd in the Welcome Colony.
06:49And Bholi is sweeping the public toilet there.
06:55And...
07:01And...
07:04And that's it.
07:11Mr. Bholi, there's a slight change of plan.
07:14I'll send you the address.
07:16Just reach there on time.
07:18See you there.
07:19Bye.
07:28Angry bird?
07:39Not now.
07:41Let me cut the ribbon first.
07:43Let him go.
07:44Otherwise, he'll inaugurate it right here.
07:49Go on.
07:52Come on, cut it quickly.
07:55Applause!
07:57How's the Mara Network?
07:58How's the Bholi Colony?
08:12Bholi Colony
08:32What happened, son?
08:34I have to wash it.
08:36No, son. You're retired.
08:37Now, it's just a colony.
08:39I have to wash it.
08:41He has to wash his dung.
08:44Dung?
08:45It's okay. I'll wash it.
08:48Dung?
08:49It's your dung, not mine.
08:52It's dirt.
08:53Dirt.
09:08It's so cold.
09:10Candidate, come here.
09:11Hey, media.
09:13Guys.
09:14When I was a kid, my dad used to wash my dung like this.
09:18I used to run away from the cold.
09:20And he used to carry a bucket and keep following me.
09:23Oh!
09:25I used to get dizzy all of a sudden.
09:27Oh!
09:28He's the real sympathizer of us poor people.
09:31Teacher, please sit.
09:33Teacher, wash the dung with the dung.
09:39Oh!
09:52Oh, no.
09:54Whenever I stand up, Bholi falls down.
09:58Before she sees herself falling down, pick her up.
10:03My dear brothers and sisters.
10:05I am your sister, Bholi Punjab.
10:08As soon as I become the minister of water resources,
10:10I'll get rid of the water thieves and the looters from the roots.
10:15The water that is sucked from Delhi's chest,
10:19because of which the people of Delhi are thirsty,
10:23I'll bury that tanker mafia in the same soil of Delhi.
10:30No brain, no jail.
10:32Many people use brain.
10:34Vote for sugarcane.
10:35Sugarcane, sugarcane.
10:37No brain, no jail.
10:38Many people use brain.
10:40Vote for sugarcane.
10:42Sugarcane, sugarcane.
10:43No brain, no jail.
10:45Many people use brain.
10:47Vote for sugarcane.
10:48Sugarcane, sugarcane.
10:50Vote for sugarcane.
10:51Sugarcane, sugarcane.
10:53Vote for sugarcane.
10:54Sugarcane, sugarcane.
10:56No brain, no jail.
10:57Delhi people only get vote for sugarcane.
11:00Sugarcane, sugarcane.
11:02Bholi, tell me something.
11:03When you become the minister of water resources,
11:05Minister of water resources.
11:07Yes, so the water theft will stop,
11:10but will you distribute water to the people for free?
11:17I don't think so.
11:23Look, sir is saying something.
11:25Open it.
11:26Yes, yes.
11:27Why not? Absolutely.
11:29And lemon and sugar?
11:32What?
11:34Lemon and sugar?
11:35What else?
11:36What is the use of our dry water?
11:38Lemon and sugar will be distributed,
11:39that's why there will be a problem.
11:57Wow, wow, you have run so well.
11:59Bless you Chucha? together we will get the whole community to cry.
12:04Well done, Chucha?
12:05He is here, he has come,
12:06the real boss is here.
12:08Chucha has come.
12:09Chucha Singh has come.
12:12Shout loud.
12:13Chucha Singh, Chucha Singh.
12:15Shout loud.
12:16Chucha Singh, Chucha Singh.
12:20Shout loud.
12:22Chucha Singh, Chucha Singh.
12:27Come here, come here.
12:28I'll make them, sir.
12:30The chain girl?
12:31Yeah.
12:54To be honest, I don't feel good
12:57Have you ever thought what will happen to the people of Delhi if Bholi wins?
13:01She won't do anything for the people.
13:03She doesn't even have a DNA.
13:05She doesn't have any leader's DNA.
13:07Yes, Bholi is the king of blind people.
13:10You just have to follow her.
13:12But don't worry.
13:14Because I have found a king with two eyes.
13:17Who?
13:27Hey! Hey! Hey!
13:33You mean our own Chucha?
13:49Our king is blind by intelligence.
13:51Even if you give him four eyes, it won't make a difference.
13:54Don't worry. I will become his eyes.
13:57And the priest will make his mind dance in Delhi.
14:00Wow, my Chanakya.
14:03You are great.
14:09Mr. Bholi.
14:10Yes.
14:11You didn't tell me what I am to Chucha.
14:13You are his...
14:14You are his...
14:21La, el, el, left hand, left hand.
14:23He will play with you.
14:26Understood?
14:44Chucha.
14:45Chucha.
15:14Chucha.
15:15Chucha.
15:16Chucha.
15:17Chucha.
15:18Chucha.
15:19Chucha.
15:20Chucha.
15:21Chucha.
15:22Chucha.
15:23Chucha.
15:24Chucha.
15:25Chucha.
15:26Chucha.
15:27Chucha.
15:28Chucha.
15:29Chucha.
15:30Chucha.
15:31Chucha.
15:32Chucha.
15:33Chucha.
15:34Chucha.
15:35Chucha.
15:36Chucha.
15:37Chucha.
15:38Chucha.
15:39Chucha.
15:40Chucha.
15:41Chucha.
15:42Chucha.
15:43Chucha.
15:44Chucha.
15:45Why don't you take the train upstairs?
15:47You need water, don't you?
15:49Resident Tingre must be in need of water, Poli.
15:53It's the last day of the earth.
15:56Looking at your thievery, I think you'll get the last day very soon.
16:00Anyway, why did you call me here?
16:03You could have settled it at the farmhouse too, right?
16:10Money can be settled anywhere.
16:16But who's going to keep track of your words?
16:19What were you saying in the speech?
16:22Delhi's chest, tanker mafia and all that?
16:30I'm pouring money on you like water.
16:34And you're talking nonsense.
16:37No, I mean, even if no one's watching,
16:40you're drawing everyone's attention here.
16:43The priest wrote it and I...
16:45Listen to me!
16:48It's fine with the police.
16:51But if the media finds out,
16:54it won't end well.
16:57The money you're spending on becoming a politician,
16:59they'll have to shut their mouths.
17:03It's your loss.
17:07Are you threatening me?
17:09I'm not threatening you, I'm reminding you.
17:13There are two things.
17:16First, you're no one's.
17:19So don't expect anything from me.
17:22Second, we've made a deal.
17:27You'll be the Minister of Water Resources in the Cabinet.
17:31I'll dry up all the taps in Delhi.
17:35My tankers will be sold out.
17:39You'll get your loan.
17:44Didn't get it?
18:01Didn't get it?
18:06I got it.
18:13Take out the money.
18:32Ma'am, everyone's here with a water problem.
18:35The tankers are fed up with all this.
18:39Everyone wants you to be the Minister
18:41of Water Resources.
18:45I'll call Chucha.
18:48Send him away.
18:50Okay.
18:52Away! Away!
18:53Chucha!
18:55Chucha's here.
18:57How are you?
18:59You're okay, right?
19:02Come, Chucha Singh.
19:04We'll listen to your problems.
19:06Get in line.
19:08I'm not here to get in line.
19:10I'm here to talk to you.
19:12One's useful and one's useless.
19:18What?
19:19What's useful?
19:23Can I know when you'll be 18?
19:26And how many more days do I have to wait for our wedding?
19:30Bobby boy, throw Chucha out.
19:33Okay, Bobby, I'm going.
19:35Listen to that useless thing before you go.
19:37I don't want to.
19:38Okay, listen.
19:39Mr. Mani has made a plan.
19:42He wants me to contest in front of you.
19:46Contest?
19:49What's he saying?
19:53Uncle.
19:55What do you eat for breakfast?
19:59The one that's made in milk.
20:01The one that's sour.
20:05Dalia?
20:06Yes.
20:07I'm going to contest in front of you as Dalia.
20:10Mr. Mani has made a plan.
20:13Chucha?
20:14My son, come here.
20:16My son, me and my family will vote for you.
20:20You'll win.
20:21My vote will go to Chucha.
20:24How's our leader?
20:26How's Chucha?
20:27How's our leader?
20:29How's Chucha?
20:30How's our leader?
20:32How's Chucha?
20:33How's our leader?
20:35How's our leader?
20:37How's our leader?
20:39How's our leader?
20:41How's our leader?
20:43How's our leader?
20:56There are 25 days left in the election.
20:58So, in 23 days of campaigning,
21:00we need at least 500 people to create an atmosphere.
21:04The crowd will gather to see Chucha.
21:07But...
21:08But what?
21:09So many people will have to eat,
21:11get a bill, a cap, a flag, a banner,
21:13a car, a caravan.
21:14We'll have to spend at least Rs. 50 lakhs.
21:17Wow!
21:18You're eating and living here.
21:21And you want to get 500 people to have lunch and dinner.
21:28Don't say yes.
21:30My dad doesn't have a committee.
21:32Listen to me.
21:33I heard you.
21:34Now listen to me.
21:35A person shouldn't be so positive.
21:37After eating fritters,
21:38the leaf in which people leave fake chutney,
21:41my dad will save his eyes,
21:42lick that leaf and clean it.
21:45Not just food for 500 people,
21:47he won't even give us his licked leaf.
21:49Think about it.
21:50Once Chucha becomes a minister,
21:52he'll get Billal back to the petrol pump.
21:55Then what about oil?
21:56Let him fry fritters in petrol.
21:59We have to make Chucha a decent person.
22:01How will he become a minister?
22:04Sir, a person shouldn't be so negative.
22:07Look, there are only two types of people who are successful in politics.
22:11One is naïve and the other is like Chucha.
22:14Papi had said that if a naïve person wins,
22:16she'll destroy Delhi.
22:18Remember?
22:21Then clear it first.
22:22Why are we making Chucha an MLA?
22:24For our own benefit or for the welfare of the people?
22:26For both.
22:27We'll earn money and serve the people.
22:30We'll hit three targets with one arrow.
22:32Wait a minute. Which is the third one?
22:34Naïve.
22:35But by then, Naïve shouldn't know about this plan.
22:39He's right.
22:43Okay, let's say I convince daddy to eat.
22:47But how will we get the extra money?
22:49The extra money...
22:50The money won't come, it's already here.
22:51Look, the money came on its own.
22:57What have you done?
23:00What were you doing?
23:01You ruined everything.
23:03Why did you bring them here?
23:04Don't worry, Panditji.
23:06Naïve enemy you, we enemy Naïve.
23:09Enemy of enemy is the Hindi-Chinese brother.
23:11You are Naïve enemy?
23:12Yes.
23:13But you are Naïve under?
23:15No, no, no.
23:16We are Naïve under no more.
23:17We now do business of independence.
23:19But we got independence in 1947.
23:22Why are you so late?
23:23Why?
23:24What are you all saying?
23:26You are speaking Punjabi in English and English in Chinese.
23:29I don't understand a thing.
23:30You only understand the bell.
23:32Keep playing it.
23:33We understood everything.
23:35They are saying that they are going to China to fight for independence.
23:49You are making this idiot an MLA.
23:51He will take us back 500 years, I am telling you.
24:00Okay.
24:01You talk, I talk.
24:03Come.
24:04Hey, we listen.
24:05We listen.
24:13We can't do deal with Foukrey.
24:15What deal?
24:16What deal?
24:18Mama Mummy in South Africa buy diamond mine.
24:23Look.
24:26But diamond less.
24:28Diamond less.
24:29Dust more.
24:30Labour pay more.
24:31If Chucha do diamond mine, Deja chew.
24:34We find dust less, diamond more.
24:36You rich, we rich.
24:38Deal done.
24:39Let's go.
24:43But why you do deal us, not bully?
24:45Bully greedy dog.
24:47Diamond come, bully run.
24:49Eddie Bobby only Chucha trust.
24:51You do Deja chew seven days, we give five lakh advance.
24:55Yes.
24:56Five lakhs.
24:57Seven days Deja chew, that's it.
24:59Five lakhs.
25:01Five lakhs yours.
25:05One minute.
25:15Tell me, what is the opinion of Pancho?
25:17Hey, honey.
25:18Pancho, what is the opinion of Pancho?
25:20Don't be too smart.
25:22Where is Pancho?
25:23Hey, Aditya Pandit.
25:24Leave all that.
25:25Tell me, what to do with him?
25:29I am saying, five lakhs are coming.
25:30Let it come.
25:31You take this five lakhs and give advance.
25:33Start election campaign.
25:34As soon as we get diamonds, we will pump all the money.
25:36To make Chucha a minister.
25:42What are you saying?
25:48Okay, deal done.
25:49You do booking.
25:50We come with you.
25:51Okay.
25:55You do booking.
25:56We come with you.
25:57Okay.
25:58You do booking.
25:59We come with you.
26:00Okay.
26:01You do booking.
26:02We come with you.
26:03Okay.
26:04You do booking.
26:05We come with you.
26:06Okay.
26:07You do booking.
26:08We come with you.
26:09Okay.
26:10You do booking.
26:11We come with you.
26:12Okay.
26:13You do booking.
26:14We come with you.
26:15Okay.
26:16You do booking.
26:17We come with you.
26:18Okay.
26:19You do booking.
26:20We come with you.
26:21Okay.
26:22You do booking.
26:23We come with you.