The.Outlaws.S03e03
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TVTranscript
00:00Your own partner found a burner phone and secret bank accounts in your desk, Sergeant.
00:05I have to disclose this.
00:07The Dean's lawyer will pull you apart today.
00:10I've been set up.
00:11Doesn't matter.
00:12Your credibility, your star witness, all tainted now.
00:16How could you let this happen? You amateur.
00:21Amateur?
00:22Oh no, I don't need to take this shit.
00:25DS Haynes.
00:26Sir, I'll go. I'll talk to her.
00:31Come on.
00:44Good morning.
00:45I'm DCI Munro and this is DS Burgess.
00:49Today we're launching an urgent appeal to find Rani Rakowski.
00:53We want to speak to her on suspicion of the murder of Marshall Smiley,
00:57who was found dead in Lee Woods with both his thumbs cut off.
01:02The suspect was last seen in Western South America and has strong ties to Bristol.
01:07Miss Rakowski is considered a dangerous individual and should not be approached.
01:13We're asking anyone who has any information on this to please come forward.
01:21Ma'am, I was watching that!
01:24If you're helping Rakowski, or you know where she is,
01:29then you are reminded that assisting her can result in a prison sentence of up to ten years.
01:34We're coming for you.
01:37DS Burgess is heading...
01:38If that fed is dirty like you say, we're going to need some extra help.
01:43Who are you calling?
01:44Please, if anybody has any information, call 999 immediately.
01:50And I'll bring this woman to justice.
01:53Thank you.
01:56That was a live police appeal from Bristol.
01:59Let's go to Thomas with a recap of...
02:06Yo.
02:07It's Ben. I'm with Rani.
02:10Rani, Rani, Rani.
02:12So you're a murderer now?
02:14I thought the worst thing you could do is leave a man crying on a train.
02:18You were crying?
02:20No.
02:21I heard you were sobbing so loudly they made you leave the choir carriage, bruv.
02:25That didn't happen.
02:26Look, Christian, I'm innocent.
02:28So this is every criminal in prison, Rani?
02:31No, no, no. The Dean set me up.
02:33Did you know that he has a corrupt policeman working for him?
02:36Ben and I are getting proof of it today.
02:38I've a plan to make him confess.
02:40Greg's helping.
02:42Or you.
02:43Rani, this is DS Haynes. Where are you?
02:47I didn't kill anyone.
02:49Then tell me where you are. We can talk about it.
02:53Rani.
02:58I said no phones.
03:00He's in hiding because he's my key witness.
03:02I need him in court by two. Can you get that right?
03:19Rani.
03:50Let's do this.
04:09Hello there. Could you do me a favour?
04:11What does that sign say there?
04:13Loading and unloading only.
04:15Could you do me a favour? What does that sign say there?
04:17Loading and unloading only.
04:19Oh, you can read. Unlike your mummy.
04:21What?
04:22Unloading kids doesn't count. Move on, love.
04:24The school is right here.
04:26I said move on.
04:29Oi!
04:30No motorised vehicles in the park.
04:32Get off. Wheel it.
04:33Oi.
04:39Give it here.
04:46Oi!
04:52Oi!
04:53Excuse me. Where's Castle Park?
04:55Oh, well, you take the 72 bus and go west onto Queen's Road,
04:59cross over the Zebra Crossing and then left onto Richmond Hill.
05:03That's a great statement. You're very welcome.
05:06What nice boys.
05:08Have a great day now.
05:16KNOCK AT DOOR
05:17Merns?
05:18Merns?
05:20Merna?
05:24Where's Merns? Merna?
05:26She's just popped out to get some coriander.
05:28I'm making shakshuka.
05:30You are?
05:31John.
05:32In community service. She mentioned you.
05:34Did she? What's she say?
05:36I'm the right-wing loudmouth.
05:38Bet you're a good man.
05:40I'm Sean. Nice to meet you.
05:42Hmm.
05:43Do you want to come in and wait? It shouldn't be long.
05:52Given you've discounted surrogacy, we should talk about a sperm donor.
05:57Right.
05:58Now, have you given any thought to whether or not you'll use a bank?
06:01Oh, yes. I want my child to have a trust fund.
06:04No, sorry. I mean a sperm bank.
06:07Because you should know that in the UK there are far more people
06:12needing sperm than there are donors.
06:14So there is a sperm shortage.
06:16How? This country is full of wankers.
06:18God! First we had no flour, no tomatoes, no gas,
06:21and now we've got no semen.
06:23Bloody Brexit.
06:26The timing of insemination is critical
06:29and coordinating it with your ovulation cycle
06:32is often hampered by long waiting times.
06:35Months, even years in some cases.
06:38My doctor said I need to get pregnant as soon as possible or it won't happen.
06:41Then you may be better off with a donor you already know.
06:44What? You mean like a...
06:47..a friend?
06:49Exactly.
06:50Can you think of anyone?
07:09Gregory!
07:14Cool, right?
07:15The top-of-the-line baby monitor.
07:17It even records so you don't have to miss a minute of your kid sleeping.
07:22Stocking up on the essentials.
07:24How much did this set you back?
07:26Who cares? You're winning me back my inheritance.
07:28Greg, come, sit, darling.
07:31I do need to ask you something delicate.
07:34It's about you. It's about masturbation.
07:36I told you I thought the bathroom door was locked.
07:38And you're normally at yoga till three.
07:40Not that. I need to get pregnant as soon as possible
07:42and I wouldn't be asking if I had another option
07:44but you might be my one and only shot at motherhood,
07:46so will you give me your sperm?
07:51Sorry, a few follow-up questions.
07:53Really?
07:54Are you sure you want to have a child with me?
07:56Why not?
07:57You're smart, you're tall, you're...
07:59You're tall.
08:01I just... I never really saw myself as a dad.
08:03Oh, but you wouldn't be the dad.
08:04You'd be like a weird uncle.
08:07So if I was watching him play football I couldn't shout,
08:09stick it in the goal hole, Sonny!
08:11Oh, darling, no son of yours is scoring goals.
08:14They're not even getting picked for the team.
08:17You'd be half my splooge.
08:19Yes, but if you lent me a bag of sugar to bake a cake
08:21you wouldn't say the cake was yours, would you?
08:23I'd like to think once you've mixed it with your eggs
08:25I was entitled to a slice.
08:26What if he's got my eyes?
08:28Oh, let's not catastrophise.
08:30Greg, darling, it's important that you understand
08:32what I'm asking here.
08:34I want to have a baby on my own.
08:37I just need some help doing that.
08:39Don't you want some posh DNA?
08:41Sperm that always turns left on a plane?
08:43No, no, I want to introduce some sanity
08:45into my family bloodline.
08:46That's why I need sperm that is really ordinary
08:49and totally unremarkable.
08:52None taken.
08:53So, I spoke to the fertility doctor.
08:55She wants you to go in for some tests tomorrow.
08:57Gabby, I...
08:58So I need you to take vitamin C, vitamin D, zinc,
09:00maca root, oh, and fenugreek to boost your sperm count.
09:03I'm just not really sure...
09:04Exercise is good, darling,
09:05so I've signed you up to Pilates.
09:07Oh, God, are the machines going to be long enough?
09:09I'm not giving you my sperm!
09:11But I thought...
09:12You thought that I would say yes
09:13because that's what I always do.
09:14What about what I want?
09:15What about my feelings?
09:16I've got my own shit going on,
09:17but you wouldn't know that
09:18because you never stop thinking about yourself
09:19long enough to notice.
09:21My body, my choice.
09:23And I'm borrowing this.
09:31MUSIC PLAYS
09:41Whoa.
09:42One dummy gone.
09:44Why... Why didn't you get rid of it after last time?
09:47Clearly some part of my brain thought I'd need it again.
09:51Ben?
09:52Open up, it's me.
09:54Take it.
09:55Take it.
10:00Ben?
10:08Hey, babe.
10:09Where have you been hiding?
10:11I'm sorry, babe.
10:12I've just been snowed under.
10:14Tax returns, stock checks, reordering.
10:17Well...
10:18I had a very naughty dream about you last night
10:24and I was thinking we go back to yours
10:29and make that dream a reality.
10:32Of course, you will need to dress up as Where's Wally
10:35and halfway through my mate's stepdad will show up.
10:38You have sexual fantasies about Where's Wally?
10:41It's the thrill of the chase.
10:44I would love to, but I've got to do my VAT.
10:53OK.
10:54Yes.
10:55Call me later?
10:56Yeah. Yeah, sure.
11:05Bye, babe.
11:06Bye, babe.
11:28You want a signed copy?
11:30I've got an embarrassing amount.
11:32Yeah, man, I said you were in town to promote your book.
11:35You're a psychologist, huh?
11:36I am. Have you ever had any therapy?
11:38Doing it now.
11:40What does your therapist practice, CBT or psychoanalysis?
11:43No, I don't have a therapist. I have an app.
11:46OK.
11:47My wife said I need to work on myself, so I am.
11:51Myself.
11:52Without seeing a professional?
11:54Yeah, no offence, but I think therapists are like car salesmen,
11:58always trying to upsell.
12:00You go in feeling a bit down in the dumps,
12:02come out with ADHD and bipolar and heated seats you never wanted.
12:06Sometimes seeing a professional is necessary,
12:09particularly if there's any trauma or parental abuse.
12:14Myrna mentioned you have a fractious relationship with your father.
12:18No, that's fine.
12:20That's not abuse, that's, um...
12:24You know, a lot of people have shitty dads, don't they,
12:27who say things like, er,
12:29I despise you, stay in the cellar until you can do your times tables,
12:33that kind of thing?
12:34Abuse takes many forms.
12:36Yeah.
12:38Well, tomorrow I'm taking the old bastard down.
12:41It'll be the last therapy I ever need.
12:44Well, if it's useful.
12:46Chapter eight's about fathers and sons.
12:48What are you doing here?
12:50I need to talk to you. In private.
12:53Shall I lay an extra plate for John, or...?
12:59The dean's lawyer wants us to testify that Ronnie framed the dean
13:03and he threatened my family.
13:05Oh, my God.
13:06We have to do what he says.
13:08Yeah, but then Ronnie will go to jail.
13:10We're going to ruin that poor kid's life.
13:12No, do you know what will ruin my kid's lives?
13:15It's getting murdered before they finish puberty.
13:18Shakshuka's ready.
13:19Be out in a minute.
13:21Look, we cannot just throw Ronnie under the bus.
13:24Can't we? I mean, she did murder Smiley.
13:26We don't know that for sure.
13:28Nance, the police found her DNA on the murder weapon.
13:31In her bag.
13:32She couldn't look more guilty if she wore a T-shirt that says,
13:35I heart Fanny.
13:37Everything OK?
13:38This Shakshuka will dry out.
13:40One second!
13:42Nance, I have to put an end to this.
13:44I have to, OK?
13:45I'm taking my dad down.
13:46It's my daughter's 13th tomorrow and I'm going to walk into that party
13:49and I'm going to tell Ruth I got my old job back
13:51and things will be the way they were.
13:53I can start over, OK?
13:55If I'm done with Ronnie and Nadine and all of it.
13:59Yes!
14:00We get it!
14:01You made a fucking Shakshuka!
14:06We need to speak to Ben and Greg and if they agree, I'll do it.
14:15We need to go out.
14:16Oh, thanks for the...
14:18Thanks for the book.
14:19Now? Where?
14:21Would you give me some bloody space?
14:23Why are you here all the time?
14:25You asked me to move in.
14:26Yeah, well, that was before I knew that you would be all up in my business.
14:30You're always fussing.
14:32What kind of grown-ass man chooses to descale a kettle?
14:36Oh, and stop putting out those bowls of vegetable crisps.
14:40That's potpourri.
14:41I cannot breathe with you here all the time.
14:44If you're feeling smothered, we should talk about that.
14:47I do not have time for therapy.
14:49Myrna, please, don't shut me out.
14:54DOG BARKS
15:05John Halloran, Myrna O'Keeke.
15:09DS Tony Burgess.
15:11I need to talk to you about Rani Rakowski.
15:16There's your credit card and your room key.
15:18Get in 27, take the lift to the second floor.
15:31Hello.
15:32I was wondering if I could get a room, please,
15:34if you have one available, number 28, if that's available.
15:37That's where my wife and I honeymooned in Paris.
15:41That's where my wife and I honeymooned in Paris,
15:45where she was working as a model and human rights lawyer.
15:50She does both.
15:52She's brains and beauty.
15:54Picture George Clooney's wife, but way classier.
15:58And you've pictured Allegra,
16:02the old missus, the old ball and chain.
16:06These mints don't have much flavour.
16:08They're not mints, they're decorative pebbles.
16:12Are they?
16:19Room 28, second floor.
16:35Come on.
17:00Come on.
17:01Testing, testing.
17:03Can you hear me?
17:04Loud and clear.
17:05This thing definitely records, yeah?
17:09This thing definitely records, yeah?
17:11Yeah, it records, yeah.
17:12Thought it might be better than your idea of using a phone.
17:15Yep.
17:17OK, here we go.
17:35PHONE BEEPS
17:38Burgess.
17:39This is Ben Eastfield.
17:41Flowballs, how are you?
17:43Spilled a ghost, babes?
17:45Ronnie Rakowski didn't kill Smiler.
17:47No? Who did?
17:50You.
17:51When you were at the pub,
17:53you didn't check if the CCTV was working, did you?
17:55Cos I have you on tape, doing the deed, and it's as clear as day.
17:59Now, how much is that worth to you?
18:01Oh, Flowballs.
18:02You really are young, dumb and full of cum.
18:06Look, I'm not going to arrest you for wasting police time,
18:09but don't ever, ever piss me about again, yeah?
18:17Well...
18:18Well, what did he say?
18:21He didn't pay.
18:22No, no, no, no.
18:23I guarantee, right now,
18:25he's tracing that call to see where you rang from.
18:28He'll be knocking on the door within an hour.
18:31And then what happens?
18:33Then you hit record,
18:35and we have a bent copper on tape,
18:37making a deal for incriminating evidence.
18:39Boom.
18:44And when my baby is born,
18:46she, her, he, him, they, them
18:49is going to grow up in a totally ethical household.
18:52The clothes will be second-hand, the cot will be upcycled.
18:55And big thanks to all the good folk at Plastic Free Toys
19:00for the wooden Barbie.
19:02Also, I promise that whoever breastfeeds my child
19:06will be paid the same as any man would be.
19:09Now, I would love any tips that you can give,
19:12but I don't want to appropriate anyone else's lived experience,
19:16so I will only take advice from other Caucasian,
19:19cis, queer, metropolitan women of privilege.
19:25Excuse me for a second, friends.
19:30What are these?
19:3242 boxes of legal documents. Where do you want them?
19:35Ah.
19:49Your girlfriend seems nice.
19:52Funny, too.
19:54Yeah. She gets that from her mum.
19:57You've met her mum?
19:59I've met both her parents.
20:04That was quick.
20:09Did you tell her about us?
20:13She knows I've had a girlfriend before her, but that's about it.
20:17OK.
20:19What was I going to say?
20:21My ex and I ran a drug empire together and, oh,
20:25we framed a ruthless criminal.
20:27Did you take her virginity, too?
20:29No.
20:31Ronnie...
20:32Aw, so that's a no.
20:34So she slept with people before you?
20:36OK, we shouldn't be having this conversation.
20:38How many was it? Two, three, 40?
20:40Oh, you might want to get checked.
20:43She does sound a bit chlamydia-y.
20:48That Fred's not coming, is he?
20:50Yes, he is. Ronnie, please.
20:52He's not coming because he's not involved.
20:55Just be honest with me. I am being honest with you.
20:58You knew that I would help you because you know
21:00you've still got me wrapped around your little finger.
21:03And I'm the idiot because here I am.
21:05BELL RINGS
21:08I'm looking for this man, Benjamin Aisfield.
21:11Which room is he in?
21:13Er...
21:15Room 27, second floor.
21:17Cheers.
21:23Do you have a hotel floor plan there?
21:31Lovely.
21:32And the answer's Plaza.
21:34Wordle.
21:35Got it in three this morning.
21:47What are you up to, blue balls?
21:53What are you even talking about?
21:55When we all yawned, you didn't.
21:57That's a total sign of a psychopath.
21:59Maybe I wasn't tired.
22:00You were up all night driving a corpse back from London.
22:03How could you not be tired?
22:05It's a good question.
22:06OK, so that means...
22:07HE GROANS
22:09No, that means you could get a hold of anything.
22:11HE GROANS
22:13See?
22:14HE GROANS
22:16Sorry about that.
22:19HE GROANS
22:27You have a nice sleep, young fella.
22:31You dumped me through a train window...
22:34I did not!
22:35..and you just vanished into thin air.
22:37No phone calls, no e-mails...
22:39But I said I'm sorry!
22:40It doesn't matter if you said you're sorry.
22:42I said I'm sorry!
22:43Please don't let me...
22:44Police! Open up!
22:46Go on.
22:47Hurry up! Open up!
22:55Yeah.
22:56Where's this tape, blue balls?
22:58Let's talk money first.
23:00Yeah? Who do I look like to you?
23:02Sergeant Numnuts?
23:04Show me the tape.
23:08Oh.
23:10There is no tape, is there?
23:12Absolute scenes.
23:18DOOR OPENS
23:24Feel free to come out, Ronnie.
23:31I know your partner in crime here is as thick as a docker sandwich,
23:36but the Dean talks about you like you're Stephen Bloody Hawkins.
23:40You don't seem that clued up to me.
23:42I mean, what was the plan?
23:44I walk in here, confess everything,
23:46and you tape it on a bloody baby monitor?
23:51Whatever the Dean's paying you, I'll double it.
23:53You ain't got that kind of money. Come on, let's go.
23:55I want to get home for the one show.
23:57Bublé's on tonight, and it's not even Christmas.
24:00But it feels like it.
24:02She's not going anywhere.
24:04Oh.
24:05Policeman gets shot by a young black man
24:08with criminal record and blue balls.
24:11That should go well for you.
24:13How about...
24:15Corrupt copper shot by a young brown girl with an Oxford scholarship?
24:18You ain't going to shoot me.
24:20I'm already wanted for one murder.
24:22Might as well go out with a bang.
24:24Come on. Me, you and blue balls, no.
24:26You never killed anyone, and you ain't going to start now.
24:29Try me.
24:31Wait.
24:32Why do you keep calling him blue balls?
24:34Cos he helped you cover up the murder,
24:37and you never even had the decency to nosh him off.
24:40You said that.
24:41No.
24:43Well, I think he would have been nice.
24:45Riley, look, you know who I've got sitting in my car?
24:48Your friends, John and Myrna.
24:50I'm chaperoning them to court,
24:52where they're going to testify you fitted up the Dean.
24:55God, you underestimated the wrong people.
24:57Right now, they are racing to the real police to turn you in.
25:03Try the door.
25:04Yes.
25:05I can reach it. I can reach it. I can reach it.
25:09Easy. Easy.
25:10I'll get over the top. That's it. Pull.
25:13Is that the child lock?
25:14It's the child lock.
25:16Clever bastard.
25:18Can you pull?
25:19Yeah, I can.
25:20Hold me, please.
25:25And your face is all over the news.
25:28So do you believe in your wildest dreams
25:31you can outrun every copper in the country, Professor Hawkins?
25:37Talking with no S, Sergeant Num Nuts.
25:41I can see why you like boning this one.
25:44Feisty, ain't she?
25:47Must have really stung when she dumped you on that train.
25:51Good luck.
25:57Is there anyone who doesn't know how you dumped me?
26:01Greg.
26:04Oh, my God. Greg.
26:05Greg!
26:06Greg!
26:07Come on!
26:09Are you OK?
26:11No.
26:12I've eaten 26 quid's worth of mini bar snacks
26:15and I don't even like spicy cashews.
26:31I have to run an errand. You go back there?
26:33Yeah, never better. Thanks.
26:34Cheers.
26:35Nice of you to ask.
26:37Who's Sean?
26:38Oh, that's my, um, my boyfriend.
26:44Look, he's just going to keep calling if I don't answer.
26:47Oh, isn't he the first, you little bitch?
26:50Make it quick.
26:51Hi.
26:52Anna.
26:53I feel like things don't seem right.
26:57I'm just in the way here. I should move out.
26:59No, no, no, don't do that. It's me.
27:01I need my space.
27:02I'm not used to having someone in my life.
27:04I need my space.
27:05I'm not used to having someone, like, up in my face.
27:08I'm used to being completely free.
27:10I hope you know you can be honest with me.
27:12Unburden yourself.
27:14Trust is a fragile flower that takes time to grow.
27:17We go back a long way, Myrna.
27:19Whatever it is, I'm here for you.
27:22Honestly, I'm fine, thanks.
27:24Can I be honest with you?
27:25Sure.
27:27I love you.
27:31Cool.
27:32Okay, I've got to go now.
27:37Oh, that was cold.
27:39I get the guy's an absolute pussy,
27:41but why didn't you just say, I love you back?
27:45I don't know.
27:46You need to figure that one out, love.
27:48Ask yourself, what am I scared of?
27:50Apart from me, obviously.
27:52Stay put, yeah?
28:03Help!
28:04Fire!
28:05We're in the... What?
28:06There's a fire!
28:07What are you doing?
28:08Apparently, people do not respond to the word help,
28:10but they do respond to the word fire.
28:14Fire!
28:15Fire!
28:17There's a fire!
28:23Can you get your leg through there?
28:24If we can tour our bodies, we can escape.
28:27If we could do all that,
28:28we'd be taking this to Vegas, wouldn't we?
28:30Can you dislocate your shoulder?
28:32If I could, I'd be saving it for the grand finale.
28:34Can you reach the steering wheel?
28:36With what?
28:37My telescopic nose?
28:38Stretch out your foot.
28:39What, and turn the radio on?
28:40Just look.
28:41If you can reach the steering wheel,
28:43you can beat the horn.
28:46Hold on.
28:47Here I come.
28:49There it is.
28:50Yes, we can.
28:57Yeah.
28:59Yes!
29:00Yes!
29:01Yes!
29:29Yo, PC Davis, can you tie your tie?
29:39Yo, Davis!
29:59Yeah.
30:25Tyler!
30:27Tyler, open up!
30:29Tyler!
30:31Open up!
30:56Tyler!
31:06Shit!
31:26Shit!
31:56Daddy.
31:57Hello, Gabsy.
31:59What are you doing here?
32:01Do you recall that time
32:03when we spread blankets on the drawing room floor
32:05and had an indoor picnic,
32:07and you insisted we ate everything with our hands?
32:09You remember that?
32:11Of course I do, my dear.
32:12It was one of my favorite afternoons,
32:14eating game terrine while you showed me your pirouettes.
32:17What do you want?
32:20My lawyers say they'll drown your man in paperwork,
32:23and I can see that's started already.
32:25They also say it'll get rather nasty in court
32:28once the mudslinging starts,
32:29so I thought we ought to have a moment together before that.
32:32Whatever happens, you're still my little girl.
32:35I had Sebastian pop into Harvey Nicks,
32:37pick up all your favorites.
32:39Can I tempt you to a deviled guinea fowl egg?
32:44I'll put the kettle on.
32:45Oh, there's my girl.
32:47I'll bring the yellow.
32:48And I'll bring the gray.
32:50Here we go.
32:56How would you describe the work ethos of your colleague,
33:00D.S. Haynes?
33:01She is thorough
33:03and won't stop till she gets what she wants.
33:06You recall a conversation with your superior, D.C.I. Monroe,
33:11in which he said,
33:12my hunch is you're ambitious
33:14and think if you nail somebody, the Met can't,
33:17it's your ticket out of Bristol?
33:19Yes.
33:20Do you recall what Sergeant Haynes said in response?
33:23Yes, she said...
33:24I won't apologize for being ambitious.
33:26How did D.C.I. Monroe respond to that?
33:28I was tasked by D.C.I. Monroe with investigating D.S. Haynes.
33:32Tell us what you found in her desk.
33:34A mobile phone.
33:36Only two numbers were dialed from that mobile phone
33:39in the course of 18 months.
33:41To whom were those calls placed?
33:43A Christian Taylor and Ronnie Rikerski.
33:46Christian Taylor is a local drug dealer, is that correct?
33:49He was.
33:50And Ronnie Rikerski is currently wanted
33:52for the murder of Mr Matheson's associate, Marshall Smiley,
33:56known as Smiler, is that correct?
33:58Yes.
33:59Why did you call Miss Rikerski just days before Marshall Smiley's death?
34:03I didn't.
34:04Was it to instruct her to stab Marshall Smiley to death?
34:06No.
34:07Because he witnessed you planting drugs in my client's car?
34:10That didn't happen.
34:11Were statements from a Swiss bank account registered in your name
34:14found by your friend and colleague D.S. Selforth in your desk?
34:17Those statements must have been put there, like the mobile phone.
34:21Just so the jury is clear,
34:23someone forged a Swiss bank account in your name,
34:27infiltrated a secure police station and hid these items in your desk?
34:33I... I don't know.
34:35Is it not more plausible that your informant, Christian Taylor,
34:38whom you always visited in prison alone, paid you to set up my client?
34:42No, that's absurd.
34:43Did you meet with Ronnie Rikerski and other convicted felons
34:47at a community centre?
34:48I didn't meet with them, no. I was pursuing a lead.
34:50And D.S. Selforth accompanied you?
34:52No, I was in a... sex club.
34:58Were you, no?
34:59Yeah. Pursuing a different lead.
35:02And you uncovered what?
35:06Nothing.
35:07So who sent you to the sex club in pursuit of this non-existent lead?
35:11I sent him there, yes, but only...
35:13Did he think it was a good idea?
35:16I thought that we should stake out the community centre.
35:21But D.S. Haynes overruled you?
35:25Yes.
35:27I put it to you that during a meeting at the community centre,
35:31you conspired with Ronnie Rikerski, Christian Taylor and other convicted felons
35:36to lure my client, Liam Matheson, to Bristol...
35:39No.
35:40..with the express purpose of planting drugs in his car.
35:42No.
35:43This jury should seriously question your integrity, should they not?
35:46No.
35:47Shouldn't they acquit my client if there is reasonable doubt
35:49about how those drugs ended up in Mr Matheson's car?
35:51It doesn't matter how they got into his car. He is a drug dealer.
36:00I think it matters a great deal how they got there.
36:06That's not what I meant.
36:10No further questions, Your Honour.
36:13That's not what I meant.
36:15They're trying to discredit me, Your Honour.
36:17You may step down.
36:18They're setting me up.
36:19You may step down.
36:21Your Honour.
36:44Ma'am!
36:47Ma'am!
36:49Can we have a quick comment?
36:50Ma'am, none of what they said is true, is it?
36:52Not now, Diane.
36:53But it's your friend.
36:54You are not my friend, Diane. Just fuck off!
37:00Police coming through. Make way. Make way.
37:15I've been sober for six months, Dolly.
37:17Good for you. I'm proud.
37:20What else is new?
37:22Well, I'm having a baby.
37:25With whom?
37:27With myself.
37:28Oh, how modern.
37:31Is this happy news?
37:33Not according to the awful things people are saying about me online.
37:36What are they saying?
37:37Jeff F says,
37:38posh leather bin shouldn't reproduce.
37:40Oh.
37:41Trevor is clever 74 writes,
37:43you dykes want to do away with men but still need our baby gravy.
37:46Jog on, love.
37:48And Keith Skywalker 69 is more nuanced.
37:51He says that while he has nothing against me personally,
37:54he does think I should be sterilised and made to live up north.
37:57Oh, darling, ignore them.
37:59Social media is just for dancing teenagers, sweaty perverts and Gary Lineker.
38:06But the abuse will get five times worse
38:09when these lawyers air your dirty laundry in court.
38:12You've got more dirty laundry than a care home after curry night.
38:15But it doesn't have to be like that, Daddy.
38:17You're absolutely right, darling.
38:19Not if you sign this.
38:24What is it?
38:25It's an end to all this silliness.
38:29I hereby renounce any right, title, interest or claim
38:33to the following property, land, assets or money.
38:42This is why you're here?
38:44No, I came to see you.
38:46Every time.
38:48I fall for it every time.
38:52Darling, your lawyer can't win this case.
38:55He could win the award for tallest man living in his flat called Greg.
38:59Just sign the paperwork.
39:01I'm looking out for you.
39:03Then give me my inheritance and I can afford to raise my child.
39:07Oh, please, you can't have a baby, Gapsy.
39:10The only thing you can nurse is a hangover.
39:12You lecture me on parenting?
39:15When did you ever change my nappy or put a plaster on my knee
39:19or read me a bedtime story?
39:21You're an addict, just like your mother was.
39:23Don't make the same mistake she did.
39:25Are you saying that I was a mistake?
39:27I'm saying your mother wasn't fit to raise a child.
39:30I don't want you ending up like she did
39:32with a gut full of sleeping pills when the going gets tough.
39:35Get out.
39:36Just sign the bloody paperwork.
39:38Get out!
39:40Suing me? Having a baby?
39:42That's never going to fill the empty space inside,
39:45just like the booze and the pills don't.
39:47If I have an empty space inside, then whose fault is that?
39:50Nice to have someone to blame, isn't it?
39:52Much easier than admitting you screwed life up by yourself.
39:57Baby formula.
39:59Try your best not to snort it.
40:02There's a good girl.
40:10Hello, Your Lordship.
40:12Hello, you lanky halfwit.
40:24Gabby, no!
40:26Brick!
40:27Steady on.
40:29I just don't want to see you drinking again.
40:31It's kombucha, Greg.
40:34My dad is the brick.
40:37My dad is the brick.
40:42The worst thing is, he's right.
40:45I'm your shit, Mum!
40:48You said it yourself.
40:50I'm selfish, I never put anyone else first,
40:53and I'm an addict.
40:55The first sign of stress, I'll be back on the vodka.
40:58My breast milk will taste like a white Russian.
41:02No, no, that's true.
41:03It is!
41:04That's why you won't give me your sperm.
41:07Even the rest of the world know that I shouldn't be a mum.
41:11You'll be an amazing mum.
41:13You're warm and kind, smart.
41:16You've got so much love to give.
41:18Are you only saying that because I'm crying?
41:21No, I mean it.
41:23And to prove it, I'm going to take this in my room,
41:27fill it with my jizz,
41:29and you're going to whack it up your minge.
41:32That's the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me.
41:45Mr Halloran.
41:49We are all waiting.
41:54I swear...
41:58by Almighty God,
42:00the evidence I shall give shall be the truth,
42:03the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
42:18I took part in an operation
42:22that was planned and orchestrated by Ronnie Rakowski.
42:26To plant drugs in the boot of that man's car.
42:30On behalf of Christian Taylor.
42:33Who paid Detective Sergeant Lucy Haynes for her involvement.
42:50My name is Johnny, you'll be with me now
42:54Move it! Shift it!
42:57I'm away!
43:10Keep it coming back. Plenty of space.
43:23All right now.
43:33Excuse me.
43:35Could you tell me how to get to Kerbet Tower?
43:38Go left, go right, and go fuck yourself.
43:43Honestly?
43:47You're welcome.
43:53Come on.
44:24I know you hate to feel vulnerable,
44:27but I need you to know that I really do love you.
44:30And so...
44:35Mind your hip.
44:37I'd like to say that I want to grow old with you,
44:40but you'll just say we're already old.
44:42But when I'm with you,
44:44I feel like there's so much more life left to live.
44:47And I want to spend it with you.
44:51Erna,
44:53will you marry me?
44:57Oh, bloody hell.
45:15I'm really sorry
45:18for not believing you.
45:21Hey. Hey!
45:24It's okay.
45:28I'm done.
45:30I'm going to have to hand myself in.
45:32No. No, we will figure it out.
45:35No, I don't want to get you in any more trouble.
45:38It's only a matter of time before the police find me.
45:49What do you want?
45:51I heard the curry you got was good.
46:02Mmm.
46:05Thanks for the heads-up about the dog you fed.
46:08Fucking pigs, man.
46:10I'm sorry.
46:12I'm sorry.
46:14I'm sorry.
46:16Fucking pigs, man.
46:18Ain't no way man's testifying for them now.
46:23All I need is a change of clothes and some peas,
46:26and I'm on my way.
46:28But you can't go.
46:30Ronnie needs our help.
46:32Mm-mm. I never get involved with women
46:35who are into murder.
46:37Or glamping.
46:39But we need to keep the Dean inside.
46:42He killed Smiler.
46:44And once he gets out, he's going to come for all of us.
46:47Straight.
46:48Which is why I'm leaving Bristol before that happens.
46:51You are the reason we are in this mess.
46:53Don't put this on me.
46:55You stole that money.
46:56Only because you got in bed with the devil
46:58and dragged me in with you.
47:00Well, I've changed. I'm out of the game.
47:04I can start a new life,
47:07but not if I lose it first.
47:09You know the game.
47:11How he thinks.
47:15Come to City Farm in the morning, OK?
47:17The others are going to be there.
47:19And we work out a plan.
47:22Nah.
47:25Ain't my responsibility.
47:27Well, nothing ever is, is it?
47:29Ever since we were kids, it was always you looking out for you.
47:32Screw everyone else, right?
47:38You have changed a bit.
47:41Yeah.
48:01I don't want to seem ungrateful, but is that all of it?
48:04You actually don't need very much,
48:06cos it's very rich, like vanilla essence.
48:09Also, if I'm honest,
48:11I'm not feeling it my horniest.
48:13Oh, no, why?
48:15Miss Anne-Marie.
48:16Oh, my God, is she OK?
48:17You know how I adore that angel.
48:19She dumped me.
48:20Fuck that witch!
48:21Darling!
48:22Break-ups are the worst!
48:24Well, usually I decree.
48:25Why? What else has happened?
48:27I don't want to burden you,
48:28not when you've got to face your dad in court
48:30and get pregnant in under a month.
48:31When people are in need, mothers spring into action.
48:33Now, what is going on? I demand you tell me.
48:36Well, I realise today
48:37that I've never done anything meaningful in my life
48:40because...
48:41I nearly died.
48:42What?
48:43And you know how they say that your life flashes before your eyes?
48:46Well, the only thing that flashed before my eyes
48:48was the first time I used contactless.
48:502010, Chiefly Services.
48:52I bought two cream eggs and a Dan Brown novel.
48:56And it wasn't even the Da Vinci code.
48:59So, at least if I help you become a mum,
49:01I'll have done one decent thing
49:02that can flash past next time I die.
49:04Well, that's incredibly sweet, darling,
49:06but you have skimmed over an important detail.
49:09What?
49:10Why did you nearly die?
49:25Craig!
49:34There we go.
49:40Yes!
50:04Would you like me to do the itinerary today?
50:07I give a hot shart what you do, mate.
50:10You testified what?!
50:12We had no choice.
50:14Some bent copper named Burgess threatened my family.
50:18That same copper confessed to killing Smiler.
50:20Grape was there?
50:21Yeah. I almost died.
50:23This is what we found in Smiler's lockbox.
50:27Is that real gold?
50:29It's not yellowy enough to be 22.
50:33And based on the weight and the...
50:36..acoustic signature, I'd say it's more like a...
50:40..an 18 carat.
50:44What?
50:47I was a shoplifter.
50:50I almost died?
50:54Look, I'm worried.
50:55It's 9.30 in the morning and you're drinking ciders
50:58like you're on the Real Housewives of Taunton.
51:00Who are you, my mother?
51:01Cos if you are, make me some breakfast
51:03and stop borrowing my bars!
51:07Ma'am, is this about Sergeant Haynes?
51:09Don't talk to me about filthy pigs.
51:12Unless it's them.
51:13All right?
51:14Now go and steal some petty cash
51:16and get me a sausage sandwich from the cafe
51:18and another can of scrumpy.
51:20Oh, yeah, and there was a homeless bloke around selling crack.
51:23See if he's got any stock left.
51:25OK, don't say that.
51:27It's not a homeless person selling crack.
51:29It's an unhoused person selling crack.
51:31Oh, right, well, less woke-correcting,
51:34more sandwich-collecting.
51:36All right? Go.
51:45The only thing on Smiler's phone is this.
51:48Hey, baby.
51:50Now, I know you said it was a mad idea,
51:52but I can't see no future where we ain't looking over our shoulders.
51:55So I'm on my way to meet the brain box.
51:58Now, I know what you're thinking.
52:00If she can get us in the Dean's gaff and we boost his hard drive,
52:03he's done.
52:04What's on this hard drive?
52:06Unclear.
52:07But obviously, Smiler thought there was enough on him
52:09to bring the Dean down.
52:11Yeah, if we ever get this bent copper off our backs, eh?
52:19Nobody!
52:21Nobody!
52:24Nobody move.
52:26Nobody...
52:29Move?
52:30Yeah, that's right.
52:32Now, you might just think I'm a pretty face.
52:35Well, I'm not.
52:36Don't say that. You just need a bit of help with your make-up.
52:39Look, I am finished.
52:41I'm not just a pretty face.
52:43I am also one smart donor.
52:46Cookie.
52:47They both work.
52:48And this donor knows exactly what you've been up to.
52:52Cos I planted a bug up there.
52:54And I've heard every word of this conspiracy.
52:57You, Missy, are a murderer.
53:00And you framed that drug dealer.
53:02And I am your patsy.
53:04And you've roped in all your cronies to do it again,
53:07to keep him in jail so you can take over his territory.
53:10Am I right?
53:11Oh, you're so close.
53:13We want the Dean to stay in jail, but not to steal his territory.
53:17No, just cos he's a really bad guy.
53:19And I didn't murder anyone, OK?
53:21I was set up by a dirty cop.
53:24Yeah, a dirty, filthy little slag called Sergeant Lucy Haynes.
53:29What?
53:30What? No, Haynes isn't dirty.
53:33No, we were talking about a fed from the Met.
53:35Wait, wait.
53:36So Sergeant Lucy Haynes is as pure as the driven snow?
53:39OK.
53:40I've got to be honest.
53:42I've necked a few gliders for breakfast.
53:44So I just need to check that this is real.
53:46Hit me.
53:47What?
53:48Hit me.
53:49Well, my mum said never to hit a woman or a man
53:52on account of my weak wrists.
53:54I am ordering you to hit me!
54:03Thank you.
54:04Pleasure.
54:05I never dealt with Sergeant Haynes.
54:07I want to clear her name.
54:08What are we going to do?
54:09Finish Smiler's plan.
54:11Break into the Dean's house.
54:13Steal the hard drive.
54:14Yeah, right.
54:16We're not breaking into a drug lord's house.
54:18Why not?
54:19Because he's probably got barbed wire
54:23and a henchman with an eyepatch and a metal hand.
54:27Plus, we don't even know where he lives.
54:30No, but I do.
54:39And his henchman doesn't have a metal hand.
54:42What about the eyepatch?
54:44No, bruv.
54:45OK, so we know where he lives,
54:47but we do not know how to just go in and take something
54:49that does not wish to be took.
54:51No.
54:55But we know a man who does.
55:14Just to be clear,
55:15I take all the money
55:17if I can do between three and 400 push-ups.
55:21Uh, 600 says no way, Gramps.
55:24Oh, nice.
55:25All right?
55:28Let's see it, OK?
55:36One.
55:38Two.
55:40Three.
55:42Four.
55:45Oh.
55:46Let's see.
55:48Uh, are you not entertained?
55:53Hey, hey, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.
55:55You said you were going to do between three and 400.
55:58Right, I wouldn't have bet.
56:00Uh, you did four push-ups, bro.
56:02Four?
56:03Just between three and 400, right?
56:06Sorry, folks.
56:07Please take your money back.
56:10Frank, I don't pay you to shake down customers.
56:13I pay you to make coffee badly.
56:15You pay me so badly,
56:16I have to shake down customers.
56:18That's not what I meant.
56:19Just go answer the phone.
56:26Frank speaking.
56:28Hi, it's Ronnie.
56:30Ronnie?
56:31Everyone's here, by the way.
56:33How you doing?
56:34Hi, Danny.
56:35Thanks, Frank.
56:36I almost died.
56:38I miss you.
56:40All of you.
56:42I'm wanted for murder.
56:44And to prove my innocence
56:45and stop the Dean from killing all of us,
56:48we need to break into his house
56:49and steal incriminating evidence.
56:51Gotcha.
56:53How do we do that?
56:55So, you got a pencil?
56:57No, Frank, listen.
56:59Hey, this is your mess, too, okay?
57:01You should be here helping us.
57:03I wish I could, but I'm stuck here in New York.
57:07You've still got 40 more hours to do.
57:09What are you doing there?
57:10Eh, I got some stuff.
57:13Brewing.
57:15Hello? Excuse me?
57:17Un momento, please.
57:18I'm helping some English people
57:20burglarize a drug lord.
57:23Ronnie, here's the grift.
57:25There's this sweet number
57:27called the Mario Brothers maneuver.
57:40¶¶