Married at First Sight NZ Season 4 Episode 15
Married at First Sight NZ Season 4 Episode 15
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00:00Previously, you are not my person.
00:05The three remaining couples said their final vows.
00:09I'm heading back home to the land of other positive humans,
00:12wanting the best for the world and for themselves.
00:14He lives in a land that is all fairy tales and rainbows,
00:18and I was there to face the rain.
00:20Sam, I love you, and I can't wait to build a life with a girl in my dreams.
00:27I love you.
00:29Marking the end of a remarkable journey
00:33that saw ten brave singles marry a complete stranger.
00:41Budget, let's go.
00:45In the ultimate social experiment.
00:51Okay, you're okay there?
00:53No.
00:56I just always struggle with feelings of abandonment.
00:59So what you're saying is you really can't listen to him?
01:01Yeah.
01:02I need a moment.
01:03This is like the toughest thing I've ever done.
01:05Every day my feelings for you are growing and it is scary.
01:09I don't know where to go from here because I've worn my heart on my sleeve.
01:13And tonight, they'll relive the highs and lows at the final reunion.
01:24After some time apart, all the Married at First Sight participants are reuniting
01:32for a final session on the couch with experts John and Jo.
01:37Does it feel a little weird coming back?
01:39I don't know, it feels a bit surreal really.
01:41We're excited to see the girls.
01:43It'll be nice to see who's still together.
01:46It'll be nice to see how the happy couple are going as well.
01:50I've got my gun!
01:55Well, Maddie and Nate left quite early on, so it'll be good to see them.
01:59But it is with a heavy heart that we will no longer be continuing in this experiment
02:05and seeing everyone again.
02:07I think it's a bit of a surreal feeling when you've gone back into reality
02:10and then come back into the reality bubble.
02:13Me and Maddie are coming into this in good terms,
02:16but at the end of the day, that's my perspective on it.
02:19I'm not sure what Maddie thinks.
02:23Seeing Steph, I'm excited. I want to see how she's doing, how she's been.
02:27I'm looking forward to seeing Paddy after a bit of a break.
02:31Yeah, I think the final vows day was a very emotional day.
02:35Steph mentioned that I applied for a dating show.
02:39On our honeymoon, after learning you applied for FBoy Ireland,
02:44I began to question if you were really here for a marriage.
02:49We talked about it in the past, but it's something that she held onto.
02:52I could talk more on it, but I'm pretty over it.
02:56Yeah, take it as it comes. We've come this far, right?
02:59Hope for the best and prepare for the worst.
03:02I'm actually just feeling intrigued.
03:05Seeing Kari will be good, seeing how she's gone back into her life.
03:09There hasn't been too many calms, I think.
03:13I don't even think friendship's going to come out of this, if I'm honest.
03:17I don't know how that ended, but I've heard a couple of things with Mike,
03:21saying that he's not sexually attracted to Kari, and then completely lying on the couch.
03:26It's like, if you're not attracted to me, tell me to my face,
03:29instead of saying it to the boys behind my back.
03:31Was anything like that said?
03:33Spiritual attraction? Nothing physical.
03:35There's nothing physical. No.
03:37If the guy's just having each other's backs, then they need to f***ing grow up
03:40and actually admit some of the things that they've said,
03:43and stop making the girls look crazy.
03:45You know, if Kari's still got some things on her mind that she wants to bring up,
03:49I'm sure she will bring them up. She's that type of person.
03:52Who knows what might come out of the woodworks today?
03:58I'm looking forward to CJ and Jesse having a wee catch-up,
04:02because they didn't get to have one, did they?
04:04CJ has, in fact, left the experiment.
04:07Yeah, it feels like there might be some things that were left unsaid
04:10that will get laid out today.
04:12You're delusional.
04:14Just f***ing disgusting behaviour.
04:17I don't really know what to say, yeah.
04:23I mean, like, yeah, it's going to be...
04:26It's going to be nice to see everyone.
04:38G'day, guys.
04:39Reading, reading, settling.
04:41So good to see you.
04:43How are we feeling?
04:45Good.
04:46Awesome.
04:47Yeah?
04:49Hello, lady.
04:50Hello, hello.
04:52Hello.
04:53Hello.
04:54How are you?
04:55Not yet.
04:56I'm good.
04:57Hey.
04:58How's it going?
04:59How's it going?
05:00It's great.
05:01How are you?
05:02Good, thanks.
05:03Well, welcome, everybody, to the very final reunion ceremony
05:08for Married at First Sight.
05:10It's going to be a big day.
05:12It's going to be a big day.
05:14It's going to be a big day.
05:16And a big day in the history of comedy.
05:19It's going to go down in history as the final reunion ceremony
05:24for Married at First Sight New Zealand.
05:27APPLAUSE
05:30A few months ago, you were all very brave
05:32and put your hands up to jump onboard this experiment
05:36and today, you have an opportunity
05:38to relive some of those experiences
05:42but also to get any last thoughts out on the table.
05:46where it all began.
05:48The screen of Dome.
05:55I feel pretty confident in myself now.
05:58I just feel like I'm ready to find my person.
06:01I would love to be loved for who I am,
06:04not judged for that.
06:06I want to settle down, I want to have more kids,
06:09I want a companion to share my life with.
06:12I'm ready to jump back in and find somebody to do life with.
06:20I'd be lying if I didn't say I wasn't nervous.
06:23I know I probably should be nervous, but I'm not.
06:26I just think it's really exciting.
06:28I'm very excited to start the journey.
06:31I mean, why not? Give it a shot, right?
06:33Things come in mysterious ways.
06:35I am looking for a partner, I'm looking for my queen.
06:42Who's this person going to be?
06:44Are they going to like me?
06:49Oh, Steve!
06:51I'm Steve.
06:52How do you do?
06:53Nice to meet you.
06:54Nice to meet you too.
06:55How are you feeling?
06:56Probably the same as you.
06:59Oh, God.
07:01Hello.
07:06Wow.
07:08Hi, I'm Cara.
07:10Nice to meet you.
07:11I'm Jesse.
07:12I vow to stand as a king,
07:14creating a space where you can flourish in your exquisite feminine flow.
07:17I will challenge you.
07:18I will cheer for you.
07:20I'll protect, respect and empower you.
07:22Sorry.
07:24In the past, I have convinced myself that I am unlovable.
07:27But today, I stand in front of you,
07:29no longer willing to let fear hold me back.
07:32This journey we're going to ride together
07:34will be full of adventures, new experiences.
07:37This is so solid of mine.
07:39I am here to find love,
07:41and hopefully, that love is you.
07:43I'll be patient, kind, honest
07:45and most importantly, laugh at your jokes.
07:48I will be your safe space
07:50and someone who won't let you feel alone.
07:52I promise to have your back
07:53and to make you laugh and own your adventure together.
07:55I promise to be honest, loyal, a little sassy.
07:58Cheers to our first hello and to all the adventures to come.
08:01Love, Cara.
08:02I now declare that as of today,
08:05they become husband and wife.
08:09There we go.
08:10Hey!
08:13Wow.
08:14Oh, wow.
08:19Well, what's it like looking back on that?
08:21Let's go with you first.
08:23Bitterpea.
08:24It was nice.
08:25It's a good reminder how much of a beautiful day it was
08:28and, yeah, how just happy I was.
08:31Yeah, it's cute.
08:32Yeah.
08:33Yeah, romantic.
08:35Jessie, CJ.
08:37Seeing myself walk down the aisle like that,
08:39I was obviously super overwhelmed and nervous
08:41and all of those feelings just came back when I watched it.
08:44But, yeah, I felt really comfortable once I was down the aisle
08:47and I saw Jessie and just how nervous he was as well.
08:50I think the highlight of this experiment has been that day.
08:55I find it quite hard watching that.
08:57She'd come in so hopeful
08:59that, you know, that's the beginning
09:01of a very, very long journey for us.
09:04I look similar to Cara.
09:05I may have been a little bit naive.
09:09I opened myself up.
09:11I just felt that it was not even acknowledged or received.
09:16Maddie, you seem angry.
09:18I'm just annoyed and frustrated
09:21that I put myself fully on that line
09:24and there was moments in time
09:26where I just felt like I wasn't in his presence.
09:30I'm blown away by that shit.
09:32Oh.
09:34We've spoken about it in the apartment.
09:36We've spoken about that.
09:37We don't need to go back into the past.
09:39Who am I?
09:40It's fine.
09:43Could we welcome up to the couch Maddie and me?
09:48When me and Maddie left,
09:50she was the one that said her big speech
09:53and I would like to get my side of how the whole experience went.
09:57Bring it on, yeah.
10:05MUSIC
10:08Alright, Maddie and Nate,
10:10let's take a moment to look back at your time in the experiment.
10:15Great.
10:16Ready for it.
10:19Nate, you make this great.
10:22LAUGHTER
10:27Take it into your underwear.
10:28I'm just going to touch you there, OK?
10:30Don't get excited.
10:31LAUGHTER
10:33I'm feeling, like, so happy.
10:35I'm just, yeah, enjoying the moment with Maddie.
10:38Phew.
10:39Aw, Nate's having a cry.
10:41Good on him for being vulnerable.
10:43Yeah, bud.
10:44Well done.
10:45Told you, be vulnerable, you.
10:47I am vulnerable, right?
10:49I told you, when I'm in a situation, I'm just like, yeah.
10:53Maddie has got a big personality,
10:55so it's hard sometimes to be able to get a word in.
10:58When we had the wedding party,
11:00you were just loud and all that.
11:02It felt like you were just shunning me to the side.
11:05You don't pay much attention to me either.
11:07I wasn't shunning you to the side, you were just as loud.
11:10Oh, ****.
11:11I need a moment.
11:12I really can't **** with this right now.
11:20You take the pressure out of it,
11:22you've got a chance here of actually enjoying yourselves.
11:24Do you think you've got that in you?
11:26Yeah, I've got that in me.
11:28Yeah.
11:29You go through people with big hearts.
11:31You think about others, you're compassionate.
11:33Yeah.
11:35Look, I think it would be wrong for me to say
11:40that I think it's going to go into something else.
11:44Do you think I'm the right person for you long term?
11:48I would say no.
11:51It's with a heavy heart
11:53that we will no longer be continuing in this experiment.
11:57Yeah, cool.
12:00You guys left quite quickly.
12:02Yeah.
12:03What was it that meant you couldn't stick around?
12:07Just with the emotions and everything going around.
12:10It was quite draining.
12:13I was dealing with a lot of emotions and everything, you know,
12:16and I was losing myself.
12:18When you lose yourself, what does that look like?
12:21Reserved.
12:22Yeah.
12:23Maddie, how do you think you contributed
12:26to this relationship downfall?
12:30Really, how I contributed to the downfall?
12:33Look, there are people out there, girls and guys,
12:35that like to take on this role.
12:37I've had this role in the past,
12:39and it's something that I've learned within myself
12:41to be more of an equal in a relationship
12:44and not play, like, a mothering type of role.
12:49Did you feel like you started to play a role
12:51Did you feel like you started to play a bit more
12:53of a mothering role for Nate,
12:55or a managing role, if you like?
12:57Yeah.
13:00Can I ask Nate a question?
13:03When Maddie was talking, I saw you kind of looking away
13:06and I saw you kind of thought.
13:07What were you thinking?
13:10You know, the muttering and stuff,
13:12I'm just trying to process it.
13:13I'm like, you were muttering me.
13:15In what way, like, were you...
13:16OK, so you want to go there?
13:17So, all right.
13:18No, that's fine.
13:19No, that's fine.
13:20And I mean this with all due respect.
13:21It's like, it was more of, like,
13:23making sure that you're aware of things were happening.
13:25You know, you didn't know, like, reading emails properly.
13:29You know, like, getting things ready for you.
13:31Like, feeling like the one in the relationship,
13:33you had to be the dominant one and take control
13:34to make sure we got to places fairly.
13:36I did not expect them to kick off.
13:38Holy s***.
13:40Holy s***.
13:41I was looking around, it's like, oh, no.
13:43Like, well, she was swearing,
13:45and then she got all, like, big-eyed and stuff.
13:47I was like, what?
13:48What the f***?
13:50You must be kidding me.
13:51Oh, s***.
13:52What was that?
13:56It was a moment where I felt like I was doing that.
13:58Not the entire thing.
14:00It was, like, little bits where I felt like
14:01I had to do that a little bit.
14:02But perhaps it's because I'm also older.
14:04I don't know.
14:05So, like, maybe I can, like, understand
14:06why Nate stays quiet to kind of avoid that explosion.
14:10I'm no pro at communication, right?
14:12But, like, I know that's not a healthy way to communicate.
14:15Wait, excuse me?
14:16I was reading emails properly.
14:17What are you trying to talk about?
14:19Are you kidding me?
14:20I don't want to go there.
14:21It's just a waste of energy and time.
14:22Sorry.
14:23Why I'm smiling and stuff,
14:24I just don't get the part of her muttering me.
14:26It's just a tool.
14:27Yeah, yeah.
14:28I just don't get that.
14:29Where it's, like, management then.
14:30Muttering's the wrong term.
14:31It's a management term.
14:34Whatever you want to call it,
14:35she's essentially micromanaging you
14:37so you get things done.
14:39It's not like I didn't know
14:40what things that needed to be done.
14:42I did know what things needed to be done.
14:44So when you hear Maddie saying,
14:45yes, that's been going on,
14:47what's your take?
14:51You don't believe her?
14:53I don't.
14:56So sometimes in those situations,
14:58I find it really hard, you know,
14:59trying to give an answer towards the question
15:01because we're trying to say my own opinion towards something
15:04and then she blows away and then it's just like, okay.
15:07A mum wouldn't tell you to, hey,
15:09save your emotions for the camera
15:11or let's not talk about how your day has gone tonight.
15:15Let's just save it for the morning.
15:17If she was a mum, she'd be caring, right?
15:19She'd want to listen and stuff.
15:21My read of this is Maddie's taking on a role.
15:24She's saying I, in the future, need to put the role down.
15:28I need to be more present.
15:30Be myself.
15:31Stop trying to make everything okay for someone else.
15:35But, Nate, you're also saying you didn't need to do that.
15:38Like, you didn't need to jump in
15:40and you're actually agreeing.
15:42That's my read on this.
15:44But you're kind of missing each other.
15:46I kind of feel that I'm not sure
15:48if someone's challenged him before and brought that up
15:51because whether he agrees or disagrees with it
15:54is kind of how it eventually unfolded.
15:57I definitely stepped back and I allowed him
15:59to make sure he could feel himself and do his thing.
16:03So, look, I do wish Nate all the best
16:06and I do hope he finds this person.
16:08Obviously that person is not me.
16:10It didn't work out for the two of you.
16:12You did come in, you gave it a good crack,
16:14but today at least we've been able to unpack
16:17some of the things that you were wanting to bring up
16:20and we wish you all the best
16:22for your next relationship in the future.
16:24Thank you.
16:25You can go back to the couch.
16:28I feel really proud of myself for doing it.
16:31I've learnt lessons whilst being here.
16:34It is a shame that it wasn't my person,
16:37but hopefully my person finds me soon.
16:42What's next for me?
16:43Get back to the real world.
16:45Working, travelling.
16:46I jumped on the show to find a wife.
16:48If that didn't work out,
16:49I'm going to try and find a girlfriend now.
16:51Yeah.
16:52Find love.
16:53Yeah.
16:54That's what's next.
16:55Someone that, you know, deserves me.
16:57That's what's next for me.
16:58Yeah.
16:59All right, let's get our next couple up on the couch.
17:02Piripi and Steph.
17:04APPLAUSE
17:09I'm feeling nervous.
17:10We haven't seen each other or talked since the final vows.
17:14I'm nervous that we're going to play back a few one-liners
17:17that could be maybe taken out of context.
17:21Me and Steph, I feel like we've been bonding quite a bit
17:23over the last two days.
17:27First day of married life.
17:28Yeah.
17:29Cheers.
17:30I just, like, want to get to know him more
17:32and figure out if there's chemistry there.
17:34I am so terrified of being let down and hurt again.
17:38That's what I like here.
17:42The key thing that I'm looking for is definitely safety
17:44and he makes me feel safe.
17:47It feels really good to feel seen as who I am fully.
17:51They asked me if I'm ready for a long-term relationship
17:55and, yeah, I think I'm ready.
17:58I'm ready!
18:00Thank you for cooking for me.
18:02It's a big job, but I'm happy to tackle it.
18:04You nailed it.
18:06Like, I've asked him to lead and then he leads
18:09and I still don't really feel a massive spark.
18:12I just feel like I'm drawing all the hoops
18:14and I'm helping pity through them.
18:15Steph, my dealings with you, you've got a lot of expectations.
18:19If you hold onto that too tightly,
18:21you're going to rule everybody out.
18:24It's been a hell of a ride for everyone, I guess.
18:28I can't think of why he's a challenger, non-intellectually.
18:31I don't know if I can be myself around her.
18:34I feel like he's so concerned with trying to be the man I want him to be.
18:38He's going to miss the mark completely.
18:40I quickly felt like I was falling into a dominant role of our relationship.
18:45And on our honeymoon, after learning you applied for FBoy Ireland,
18:50I began to question if you were really here for a marriage.
18:58Well, that's pretty exhausting, watching that, eh?
19:01I mean, it was a rollercoaster.
19:04What's your first take, Pidipi, when you watch that?
19:07It feels like it's been forever since Manawatu,
19:10so it's nice to see those points where we were just looting each other out
19:14and, yeah, having fun,
19:16and a reminder of the lessons I've also had during this experience
19:19of not running.
19:21Seeing myself open up was...
19:24I've never looked at myself doing that.
19:26Very vulnerable.
19:27So that was a...
19:29Yeah, that was interesting.
19:31I think it's actually so special to be able to, like,
19:34have some of those moments captured, like the highs and the lows.
19:37Tell us about that dating show previously that you applied for.
19:44Cos that seemed to really land badly for Steph.
19:51For me, the issue was that you got into it
19:55and potentially you come out the other side with a girlfriend.
19:59For me, this is a marriage.
20:01Like, this is married at first sight.
20:03It's a very different concept.
20:07I applied for a dating show a year ago.
20:10Turned out to be something that the title was, and then...
20:14So at the time, you didn't know what it was?
20:16No.
20:17No, I did not.
20:18And then once you kind of go through the process,
20:20you find out what it is.
20:23I got a call saying that I was in a pool of people
20:27from the previous show that didn't make it.
20:29And then, yeah, they asked me if I wanted to be on Married At First Sight,
20:32saying that they could potentially match me with someone
20:35I could be amazing with.
20:36So, like, to me, it was like a sign.
20:38It's a bit unorthodox, but here I am, and I've learnt a lot from it.
20:43And, yeah, I'm so lucky to meet Steph and the rest of the gang, you know?
20:48Steph, you said to us previously, you know,
20:50Piripi's done a lot of growth, but you want to do that too.
20:53Mm.
20:54And what I'm wondering is,
20:56how do you think you contributed to this relationship not working?
21:01This experiment is so, like, over in a flash.
21:05It's so concentrated.
21:06So I came into it wanting to get, like,
21:09extract the maximum amount of growth out of it.
21:11And so I was ready to push hard and push hard the whole way.
21:17What does that do to the role that you play in the relationship?
21:20It makes me more dominant, for sure.
21:24Although later in the experiment, I was like,
21:26I'm ready to step back and Piripi to step up.
21:28I had already filled that space,
21:30so it makes it a little bit difficult to then pass it over.
21:33Piripi, did you ever lose some self-esteem through this journey?
21:39I think so.
21:42I was just so focused on, like,
21:44all right, let's try and improve this part of myself
21:46and let's really sharpen this knife.
21:49And then, yeah, I ended up cutting myself doing that.
21:53I did have a hard time with self-image,
21:55but doing this, I realised that I was looking at someone
21:59from, like, eight years ago.
22:01Instead of doing that, I should have just had more love
22:04and understanding towards that guy
22:06and realised now that I'm not that guy.
22:09I'm a pretty decent dude.
22:13Piripi, I've got to ask you,
22:15do you still have strong feelings for Steph?
22:21Ah!
22:30Piripi, I've got to ask you,
22:32do you still have strong feelings for Steph?
22:36Ah!
22:39I care about her. Like, I definitely care about her.
22:42Seeing her interact in my comfort space
22:45definitely sparked, like, a bit of a crush.
22:50Since having time away and, like, being back at home
22:53and kind of settling back into my normal life,
22:56I think it's just friends, yeah.
23:00What's the change been?
23:02We're just really different people.
23:04The thing I was finding hard was, like, the challenges
23:06and trying to challenge her and take the lead and stuff,
23:09and I'm just not that person for her.
23:12All right, well, you two,
23:14we are grateful for how honest and raw you've been,
23:19and we wish you all the very best for the future.
23:22Thank you. Thank you, guys. Thank you.
23:24APPLAUSE
23:26We survived. Yeah.
23:30Bit of a switch.
23:32Last session with John and Jo.
23:34I just think, like, there's so much growth from this experiment,
23:37so I am sad that it's over.
23:39We're going to welcome to the couch Cara and Mike.
23:43APPLAUSE
23:47Oh, I'm glad it's the last time I sit on this couch.
23:52Well, it is great to see you on that couch again.
23:55Initially, during this process, you really hit it off.
23:58There was chemistry, but then ultimately, at the final vows,
24:02you decided to go your separate ways.
24:05Let's take a moment now
24:07and look back at your time in the experiment.
24:10Oh, my God.
24:14Do you think what we've got here are two individuals
24:17that are strong enough and independent enough
24:19to be equals in this relationship?
24:22Whoo!
24:26Let's go. I want to get to know her a little more now.
24:29LAUGHTER
24:33He's just such a sweet person, and we just survive.
24:37We've got good vibes going on.
24:42I've been feeling a bit off. OK.
24:45You're not necessarily my usual type.
24:48I'm not physically there.
24:51OK.
24:53Physical attraction's not the be all, end all.
24:55You know, if we can work together and look beyond that,
24:57then we'll see what happens.
24:59Has the attraction thing improved and stuff?
25:01Nah. Nah, the feeling's definitely still not there.
25:05But, like, on my end as well,
25:07I don't feel a strong sexual urge towards her either.
25:12I'm hearing that he's telling the boys behind my back
25:15that he's not attracted to me.
25:17I don't know what you're creating here. Like, what is this?
25:20What is this, mate? That is my problem.
25:25I can see why they chose to pair you.
25:28You've aligned with each other.
25:30You've got the same morals and the same belief system.
25:33We totally understand why we've been put together.
25:35Imagine if both of you got through each other's barrier, though.
25:39Whilst I admit my lack of trust has hindered my desire
25:43to get to know what is underneath your surface,
25:46I am not sorry that I trusted my gut,
25:49because when you feel something is wrong, it usually is.
25:53Kara, watching that and seeing Mike say clearly
25:58that he isn't sexually attracted to you,
26:01and that being thrown so much into question last time
26:05and essentially being denied somewhat,
26:07what's coming up for you?
26:09I doubted myself in that moment as I thought,
26:11wow, no-one's backing me up. Maybe it hasn't been said.
26:14So to see it play out, I just think, you know,
26:17it's nice that it happened.
26:19It's nice that it happened.
26:21It's not nice that it happened, but it's nice...
26:23No, it's nice to feel like I'm not crazy.
26:27Can I just ask, though, Kara,
26:29did that surprise you that Mike said that?
26:31Yeah, because there were many times he said to me,
26:33you know, it's a shame you're not attracted to me,
26:35we'd have great sex.
26:36I don't care if he's attracted to me or not.
26:38All I want is honesty. Just tell me how you really feel.
26:42So, group, what do we think?
26:45I agree. I feel like Kara was somewhat gaslit
26:48at the last commitment ceremony,
26:50and I think the boys should have backed her.
26:52It was so much said at the boys' night.
26:55Right.
26:56My memory's shit at the best of times, and so...
26:59Shit reason, though. Your feelings are validated.
27:02I mean, yeah, it got back to me somehow,
27:04so someone had to have remembered that it was said,
27:06and that was the problem.
27:07How did it get back to you?
27:09That was me.
27:11Shit.
27:12I knew that question was coming.
27:16OK, so James remembered he told Sam.
27:20Sam tells Kara.
27:22Kara feels upset.
27:23It comes to the commitment ceremony, it gets denied.
27:26I was pretty annoyed, because I think what is said
27:29in a safe environment with the boys should stay in that environment.
27:32And we had a chat about this, and...
27:34We had a disagreement about this.
27:36Well, yeah, and we agreed to disagree on this, eh?
27:39Pretty much.
27:40The boys tend to kind of stick up for each other,
27:42and it's really frustrating, because at the end of the day,
27:44as a couple, you need to communicate and be honest with each other.
27:47But let me ask you the question.
27:51You had a conversation with your husband.
27:53He's talking about what happened.
27:55What made you feel like you needed to then shoot it over to her?
27:58Because I was watching her really struggle
28:00with being so open and honest,
28:02and then the fact that behind closed doors,
28:04you were saying stuff behind her back.
28:07There was nothing saying behind her back.
28:09I was just sharing, honestly, about where we were at,
28:12and it was quite late in the stage.
28:14Yeah, you just had a chat for that.
28:16Yeah, it was nothing that I was hiding.
28:18It was just plainly f***ing obvious.
28:21The thing that most frustrated me was that,
28:23A, about that subject, why do you care so much?
28:26Like, you've told me numerous times,
28:28this is towards the end of the experience,
28:30so, you know, like, it wasn't news.
28:32And B, for me, there's a difference
28:34between attraction and sexual chemistry.
28:36It came through two degrees of separation.
28:38It was just schoolyard bullshit.
28:40Like, what made it for you to then be like,
28:42cool, I'm going to now shoot this to Cara,
28:44like some gossip?
28:47It wasn't gossip.
28:48I was really watching Cara struggle.
28:51Struggle with what?
28:54I think you shouldn't be blaming Sam, though,
28:55like, at the end of the day, like, you did say it,
28:57it's come out, like, you said you'd own it.
28:59Like, it's not something to get mad at Sam about.
29:02What got brought up here was you were saying that
29:05you heard that I didn't think you were attractive.
29:07Through this whole thing,
29:08I've said you're a beautiful, attractive woman.
29:10So when I heard that, I was like, that was not said.
29:13It's not something that I was trying to hide.
29:18So for you, these are really different things.
29:20These are really different sentiments.
29:22Correct. Someone can be a beautiful person,
29:24but I, you know, doesn't have to be intertwined
29:27with wanting to rip their clothes off
29:29or be into a sexual energy with them.
29:31It's just something that was never said,
29:33and there was many times where I learnt things
29:35you felt about me in a group setting
29:37that had never been said to my face.
29:39You said I was reactive on the couch.
29:41I'd never heard that until we sat on the couch.
29:43You told my dad that I complain a lot
29:45and that's what you don't like about me.
29:47That was the first time I heard you say it then as well.
29:49And I'm like, why is the first time you tell me
29:51what you dislike about me when we're in a setting like this?
29:55OK, that's fair. I'll wear that.
29:57So the conversations in private aren't as transparent
30:01or as honest as you are hoping for.
30:03And that's really what you're saying?
30:05Yeah, I'm saying I'm laying it on the table,
30:07but is it being laid back?
30:09Oh, honestly, wear that.
30:11That's fair, 100%.
30:13I think for me it was the final nail in the coffin
30:16of many other things that had happened prior to that
30:19that I was just like, why am I bothering?
30:21And, yeah, it's just nice to see that it was real
30:24and it did happen, and, yeah,
30:26I'm so glad in the decision I made in the end.
30:29Do you know what, you two?
30:31I think a lot of people will watch your relationship
30:34and relate to it.
30:35You had your doubts, you explored them,
30:37you took on feedback.
30:39So for that commitment, we're absolutely grateful.
30:42What's important now is what happens next
30:45with your future partners,
30:47but we want to wish you all the very best.
30:49Thanks, Dave.
30:53You go through experiences like this
30:55where you are literally shown a mirror
30:57and sit in those heights of emotion and adrenaline
31:00and all that sort of stuff, it's going to change.
31:02It's like being in a big wave.
31:04It's going to move you somehow.
31:06What that changes, I'm yet to see.
31:10Coming onto this experiment was a big move for me.
31:13That said, I've learned a lot about myself.
31:16I feel even more confident leaving this,
31:18so hit me up.
31:22Slide on into my dance.
31:25All right, let's get CJ and Jessie up on the couch.
31:31Hey, guys.
31:33I'm ready just to sit down and get to the nitty-gritty
31:36and confront Jessie and the rest of the group
31:39on how I feel.
31:47CJ and Jessie,
31:49what a fiery sort of relationship that you had.
31:54And it was marked by a particular toxic fight style.
31:58And really went downhill quite quickly.
32:01So what we're going to do is dive into a particular conflict
32:05and try and understand it a little bit more.
32:09I think in my mind right now,
32:11everybody else is creating these deeper levels.
32:13Yeah.
32:14And I feel like ours is very surface level.
32:16Yeah, but you can't compare yourself to other people.
32:18I'm not comparing myself to other people.
32:20You just are.
32:21Well, I guess I am in a way.
32:23But they've come a long way in a short period of time.
32:26And here I am trying to be open and honest with you,
32:28and you just shut me down.
32:30When?
32:31Just then.
32:32See, this is where the immaturity comes in.
32:34No, this is when, like, I just don't think...
32:36Yeah, OK.
32:37This is me having an actual adult conversation.
32:40Stop belittling me.
32:42I'm not belittling you.
32:43Having an adult conversation.
32:45How would you feel if I said that to you?
32:47We've known each other for three days.
32:49You make an argument about me with a toothbrush.
32:51Do you think that's going to make an individual open up more
32:53or close them in more?
32:56This is very interesting,
32:57because the way that I tried to talk to you tonight
32:59was very direct.
33:01And the way that you've just come back at me
33:03and tried to make it like it's my fault.
33:05Are you loopy?
33:08Am I loopy?
33:09Yeah, you're delusional.
33:10How am I delusional?
33:11You're just saying that you've tried to...
33:13Oh, my God.
33:14OK, I don't even want to talk to you about it.
33:17Really?
33:21That was a fiery argument.
33:24How is it to listen to it now?
33:26What really turned me to the breaking point, the edge,
33:29is the whole delusional thing.
33:31My ex used to say that to me,
33:33and it really triggered me.
33:35I guess I was going a little bit crazy in my mind,
33:37being like, well, did he call me delusional?
33:39Did he call me loopy?
33:40And I think hearing that it actually did happen,
33:43clarified to me that, OK, I have had this happen to me before.
33:46My feelings are also valid,
33:48and you can't say that to people.
33:50It's really hurtful.
33:52Toosie, can you jump in here?
33:54Yeah.
33:55You know, I am really sorry for saying
33:57that you were loopy and delusional.
33:59Yeah, it was a horrible thing to say,
34:01and I think a key takeaway is just obviously when you...
34:04I don't know, like, you can kind of hear it in the recording.
34:07Like, my voice tone changes from constructive
34:09to going, you know, here, here, here.
34:12And I think, like, at that point, you just have to walk away.
34:15As CJ's coming and saying things,
34:17what really takes you over the edge to this frustrated?
34:20I think it was probably when she was saying
34:23we're having adult conversation and an immaturity thing, I think.
34:26It just felt like I was being belittled.
34:30It was a little bit confronting.
34:32Like, it's something that I regret doing,
34:34so it's not the nicest thing to hear,
34:36but it was good to get it all on the table
34:38and apologise to CJ.
34:40Apologise to CJ again for, you know, those words I said.
34:43Do you think you guys threw in the towel too early?
34:46So, it was, yes, probably too early to throw the towel in.
34:49It's more so, for me, I was just straw on the couch that day.
34:53I decided to...
34:57..stay.
34:59It's just been a really, really intense situation for me.
35:04For that reason, I actually just chose to leave.
35:10There's no respect there,
35:12and you go to that next level of belittling somebody
35:14and start name-calling and everything like that.
35:16It's time to cut it. I'm sitting on the couch.
35:18I do get that. Just hold on, though.
35:20Listening to that exchange,
35:22I agree there are global terms that are disrespectful,
35:25should never be used,
35:27but do you think you were respectful in the way you were talking to Jessie?
35:32Um...
35:34Yeah, I could have been better, absolutely.
35:37You can both see that there's disrespect from both sides.
35:40Mm-hm.
35:42And that's a fully charged emotional exchange.
35:45But I want to make it clear, yes, global terms, no good.
35:48Can't do that.
35:50But also, if you've got a tone which is very sharp,
35:53that comes in over the top, it's going to be very hard to hear.
35:56And I think you guys were characterised by that.
35:59And I do apologise for that.
36:01That's just generally how I speak when I'm heated.
36:03Like, I do just talk direct.
36:05Maybe I do sound like I'm talking down to them.
36:08At the end of the day, it is my voice,
36:10and I think I obviously do need to work on it,
36:12because it can be quite staunch,
36:14and I'll take that away with me and 100% grow from that.
36:18Let's go to a very pivotal moment where you do separate,
36:22and you're waiting to hear from one another.
36:26And, Jessie, you were going to reach out, but didn't.
36:32Tell us what happened.
36:34When I said yes and CJ says no to staying,
36:37and then the comments that she said after that,
36:40like, she didn't feel safe around me.
36:42I didn't feel like my presence to her was what she wanted at all.
36:46So, in my mind, I thought two things.
36:49I'll give her space, and I'll wait until I can see...
36:53In this environment where the four of us are speaking,
36:55that was my mindset.
36:57We talked on Sunday, right, and this was Friday night,
36:59so for me it wasn't a long time, it was just a day.
37:02Do you think not contacting CJ...
37:06..helped your relationship or hurt it?
37:09I'm not sure.
37:12That's a problem. Yeah.
37:14I need you to think now about why not reaching out to your partner.
37:18Why is that a problem?
37:21I don't know. The reason I thought it was the right thing...
37:23No, it is a problem. Why is it a problem?
37:26Um...
37:27Do you need me to go to the group? Cos they'll tell you.
37:32Yeah, please.
37:34Why is it a problem?
37:36She's here by herself, brother, like, not knowing what's going on.
37:39She was obviously, like, distraught.
37:41Just reaching out, bro, saying that we are at differences right now,
37:44but, like, I want you to know that, you know, I'm here for you,
37:46I care for you, like, you know, I still have respect for you.
37:49And at the end of the day, this is not you trying to have a long conversation.
37:52It's just touching base, isn't it?
37:55You know, and that is something that I really wanted to drill down on, Jesse,
37:59because moving on from here, if you get in another situation like this,
38:02you can't ghost for two days.
38:05Yeah.
38:06If you've had a fight, if you're in the wrong,
38:08or even if you're in the right, it doesn't matter,
38:10but just touching base and repairing is so important.
38:14OK.
38:16So, what's it like since you've left?
38:20Life's just returned to normal.
38:22I went back to my home and went back to work and stuff.
38:24We did talk a little bit.
38:26I sent her a message just, like, apologising to CJ for where we ended up being,
38:31cos I was just gutted that we left on bad terms.
38:35Even now, I'm hoping that we can leave not with something.
38:40Yeah.
38:41I know, but in my perspective, it was like, I don't hear from you at all.
38:44Yeah.
38:45And then after I didn't turn up to the dinner party,
38:47the next day, I didn't realise how much of an author you were.
38:50Like, my goodness, I don't think I've ever received a message that long...
38:53Sent you a long text, did he?
38:55...in my life, you know?
38:57Well, maybe I learnt from the first lesson.
38:59But it's like it was, you know, to me, it was like,
39:01I don't have anything to say to you though, Jesse,
39:03because I just couldn't understand why you couldn't reach out whilst I was here,
39:08and then as soon as I leave, it was just like,
39:11this author wants to send me this massive novel.
39:14Sitting there and hearing her talk, you reflect on everything, you know,
39:17lesson learnt, but you shouldn't regret anything in life,
39:20so I won't say regret, you know, it's just gutting a little bit that it didn't work out,
39:24but, you know, it is what it is, and I learnt a bit of stuff, so that's all good.
39:28Well, thanks, guys. Appreciate that.
39:31And sounds like, yeah, there were definitely some takeaways.
39:34Yeah.
39:35You are welcome to...
39:37I actually have a present for you. Oh.
39:39Oh.
39:40Hold on, what have you got in there?
39:42It's from Jeremy.
39:44LAUGHTER
39:46APPLAUSE
39:48Oh, I love this.
39:50LAUGHTER
39:52Either way, but the fact that we're able to laugh about it and brush it off is good.
39:56Brush it off.
40:07We've got our last couple, Sam and James.
40:10Come on up.
40:14Feeling really confident going onto the couch.
40:16Final vows are done.
40:18We know where we stand as a couple.
40:20We're looking at life past the process, so it's kind of like a reflective period for us.
40:25Gee, it's good to see the two of you.
40:27It's good to see you too, guys.
40:29It's crazy to think this is the last time that we're going to be on the couch,
40:32but I'm really excited. I really wanted to, you know, kind of see a bit more of our story.
40:36Let's take a moment to look back on your journey on Married At First Sight New Zealand.
40:41Oh, God.
40:44Well, I'm Sam. Nice to meet you again.
40:47James. Yeah, thanks a lot.
40:49He has the most beautiful blue eyes. They were stunning.
40:53Do you have an accent? In the UK.
40:55Score.
40:59Lovely start to our honeymoon.
41:03There's definitely attraction there.
41:05I mean, have you seen her? She's hot.
41:11I've been rejected a lot throughout my life.
41:14I still have low self-esteem on days and sometimes question if I am good enough.
41:20I never wanted to make you feel that way.
41:23I've wanted someone who's emotionally available, and she's certainly showing that.
41:28But being on different islands, that's the biggest elephant in the room at the moment.
41:33If you want to make this work, you're going to have to move.
41:37Yeah. Do you think that could be all and end all of it?
41:42Yep.
41:44I guess if you love a man, you'll do it, eh?
41:48It was like a switch that flicked and said, actually, like, this is beautiful.
41:55I literally put a list in front of the expert, and I was like, this is what I'm looking for.
42:00And they've given me that.
42:02We've had sex.
42:06Was it good for you?
42:08It was good. I love that.
42:10Sam, I love you.
42:14Oh!
42:16And I can't wait to build a life with the girl of my dreams.
42:21I love you.
42:24That was so cute!
42:28Oh, that was so nice to watch.
42:30Like, I think you kind of get so wrapped up in this whole experiment
42:34that you kind of forget a lot of things that have happened
42:37and a lot of moments that we've shared together.
42:39I think going in, I prepare myself for the worst,
42:41thinking I'm going to get, like, rejected.
42:43So for it to kind of happen, like...
42:49I don't know whether it's fate or whether it's luck, I'm just really happy.
42:56It just shows, kind of, we were after the right things
42:59and that we stayed true to ourselves and, yeah,
43:02and that's just our magnificent journey.
43:04If someone had said to me last year, like, you're going to find someone,
43:07you're going to get married, and then look at moving,
43:11I just thought they'd be nuts.
43:14So you've met Sam's son now?
43:16Yes, he has met Kaylin.
43:18And how did that go?
43:19I enjoyed it.
43:21I said to you that I feel a lot more at ease.
43:23Now that you've met him?
43:25Yeah, cos I can see what it would look like.
43:28When I saw him with Kaylin, it heightens everything.
43:31You're seeing what it could be like in the future,
43:35and I think that just made me fall for him...
43:38for the ground.
43:41Are you moving in?
43:45Like, are you guys going to move and live together?
43:48I mean, we've had a lot of conversation about it,
43:51and I've kind of committed to school and Christchurch and things.
43:58I'd probably be looking to kind of move towards the end of next year.
44:02So you've got a bit of a road ahead of you
44:06in terms of a long-distance relationship.
44:08That's quite a while.
44:09Yeah.
44:10And how are you going to survive that?
44:13I think we've talked a bit about that, like, the daily Snapchats.
44:17Just, like, Snapchatting each other.
44:19We were doing stuff throughout the day,
44:21just so you kind of feel like you're still with each other.
44:23And then obviously, yeah, planning the trips in advance.
44:26I know that long-distance relationships can work.
44:29I know they're a lot of work.
44:32We just both have to be willing to compromise a lot
44:36and prioritise a lot.
44:38Well, just finally...
44:40James, are you in love with her now?
44:45I mean, I said it.
44:47I'm asking you now.
44:49You in love with Sam? Yeah.
44:52Sam? Hmm?
44:54You in love with James?
44:56I am in love with James.
44:58CHEERING
45:05You know, we came into this process
45:07in order to find the true love and everything,
45:09and seeing that happen was quite emotional,
45:11and I'm happy for both of them.
45:14It has been amazing, hasn't it? Yeah.
45:16Because the two of you have lit it up the whole time.
45:20It's really just been encouraging, I think, for everyone.
45:25Not necessarily that you've found this here,
45:27but encouraging, what do you want in the future?
45:30You know, someone you click with,
45:32that kind of intangible, indescribable pull towards someone.
45:38And you've modelled that really beautifully,
45:40and it's been great to watch unfold.
45:43Thank you for everything, guys, and all the best for the future.
45:47Thank you. Get the cow.
45:49APPLAUSE
45:53Hearing those words, I love you, from both of them,
45:56and, oh, like, it melts my heart.
45:58And I have faith in the system that Married at First Sight does work.
46:04Not all the time, but it's, you know, great.
46:07You've got a great couple there, so it's amazing.
46:10Well, congratulations, everyone.
46:12That brings us to the end of the entire experiment.
46:18Married at First Sight, New Zealand.
46:20Now, not all of you got the fairy tale,
46:22but you certainly rolled your sleeves up
46:25and tried your best to find love.
46:28For some of you, it didn't work,
46:30but that doesn't mean that you haven't learned something
46:32that you can take into your next relationship.
46:35And for those of you that did find love,
46:37we're very excited about the future and what it might hold.
46:41I think you can all be so proud...
46:46..of the vulnerability that you showed...
46:50..the feedback you took.
46:52Putting yourself in this situation is just so impressive.
46:57Congratulations on making it through Married at First Sight, New Zealand.
47:09Come here and give me a hug.
47:11Who's first?
47:19Who's first?