Coronation Street 24 June 2024
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00MUSIC PLAYS
00:25Has anyone seen Carys's shoes?
00:27Have you checked under the stairs?
00:29Oh, that place where we keep them? No, Ches, I haven't thought of that.
00:32All right, keep your hair on. They've got to be around somewhere, haven't they?
00:35Right. When was the last time you had them?
00:37I don't know.
00:39Well, can't she just wear her wellies?
00:40No, she can't, because they're going on a school trip.
00:43They need to look smart at the library.
00:46That peak, it's not in here.
00:47Not you in all. We've been burgled.
00:50Oh, check the washing machine. I forgot to empty it last night.
00:53I can't wear wet trackies.
00:54Well, it's either that or it's your wife, Runcie. It's up to you.
00:58Why's there shoes in here?
00:59Oh, honestly, this house!
01:01You haven't forgot about tea, have you?
01:04No. Olly's coming round.
01:06Hey, I'm doing Chesburgers.
01:07Amari and Jamie have asked if they can come too.
01:10But I can tell them no, if there's not enough to go around.
01:13No, it's fine. I can bulk out the mints.
01:15Ow, that hurts.
01:17I know they're a bit tight, love,
01:19but I promise you I'll get you some new ones, yeah?
01:22As soon as Mummy gets paid.
01:24I know you don't want to wear them, but you want to go on your trip, don't you?
01:28Come on, you lot! We need to go!
01:30Oh, come on, Kev, think about it.
01:32You blackmailed him using a bomb that you stole out of his office.
01:35Sounds like some really bad bombing Leonard did.
01:37Yeah, well, I wasn't quite thinking straight.
01:40What does Abi think to all this?
01:43You've still not told her, have you?
01:44I did think the bit about breaking and entering would go down too well.
01:47Well, that's an understatement.
01:49Warm cup of six brings to mind.
01:50Look, I know it was risky, but it's over now.
01:54Stefan's going to pay to their videos to be buried
01:56and Abi can get on with her life.
01:58Job's sorted.
01:59Yeah.
02:02Who's that?
02:03Stefan.
02:04Wants to meet up.
02:06Probably wants to give me a check.
02:13So, did I hear you talking to your mother this morning?
02:17Yeah.
02:19And?
02:20It's all right. I'm all right.
02:23Are you sure? I don't want to spoil your day.
02:26She's not pregnant, is she?
02:27No, no. She's coming home next week for some event.
02:30Oh, yeah.
02:32Tommy's having his bust unveiled.
02:34I believe he's a double D now.
02:35It's on the same day as your 50th.
02:37You turning 50?
02:39Yes. Unbelievable, isn't it?
02:40Yeah.
02:41I heard you're well past half a century.
02:44It's the legs.
02:46Don't give away.
02:47No, it's only my legs.
02:48Wow.
02:49I'd start by wearing compression socks if I was you.
02:52I'll put your varicose veins.
02:55Well, you'd know all about them.
02:57Something about Catty to your party?
02:58No. The less I see her, that woman, the better.
03:00Anyway, I don't want a flipping party.
03:02Well, you've got to do something.
03:03I'm on the planning committee.
03:05Ah, er, well...
03:06Nah, nah.
03:08Just a few pints, you know, mates, game of dance.
03:10That's well lame.
03:12Sweetheart, I'm nearly 50, I am single,
03:15and I live with my ex-father-in-law.
03:16Lame is my middle name.
03:23Hiya.
03:25I've just bumped into Chesney
03:27and he said you were feeling a bit down,
03:29so I brought you a bacon butterschee up.
03:31Oh, ta. I'll put the kettle on.
03:33Well, I can't stay long.
03:35I've left a black pudding in the oven.
03:40When did this come?
03:42Just now.
03:45I went to cash and carry for Jenny the other week.
03:47I didn't realise it was paying this black.
03:49I'm sorry.
03:5070 quid.
03:51The thieving so-and-sos.
03:54Mum, it wouldn't matter if it were five quid.
03:56I still can't pay it, can I?
03:58I've got 20 quid till the end of the week.
04:00Oh, darling, come here.
04:02Come here, let me give you a cuddle.
04:04Come on.
04:06Hey.
04:08It was not fair, Mum.
04:10Me and Ches were working so hard.
04:12I know you do.
04:13I'm sorry.
04:14I'm sorry.
04:15I'm sorry.
04:16I'm sorry.
04:17I'm sorry.
04:18I'm sorry.
04:20It's just never enough.
04:22I'd appeal if I was you.
04:24What's the point?
04:26This is going to be just like the eviction.
04:30We've got no say, no rights.
04:33People think they can just treat us however they want
04:35and no-one cares, as long as they're not the ones
04:38that are sending the kids to school with no shower
04:40and shoes that don't fit.
04:41No, that's not true.
04:42Lots of people care.
04:44No, and my mum, I see how they look at us.
04:48They think that it's our fault that I've got no money.
04:53They don't.
04:54They don't think we're rubbish with money,
04:55that we've got too many kids.
04:57Maybe they're right.
04:58Now you are just talking nonsense.
05:00You and Chesney, you do a brilliant job
05:02with what little money you've got.
05:04You got that stupid boiler fixed, didn't you?
05:06And we'll find a way to pay the fine.
05:09Now, those kids, they are lucky to have you.
05:13And if anyone says any different, you can send them to me.
05:18Cheers, Mum.
05:20Well, I'm not sure I've been much help.
05:23Better just to have a moan.
05:27Do you have to go back to work?
05:29Yeah.
05:31Yeah, I've left Sally in charge while she waits for her breakfast.
05:35SHE SOBS
05:38OK.
05:49SHE SIGHS
05:54PHONE RINGS
05:58Hello?
06:01Yep, speaking.
06:06Oh.
06:08Yeah, shoes, yeah.
06:10Oh, I didn't realise.
06:12No.
06:14Yeah, I'm sorry, I'll come and get it straight away.
06:16Yeah.
06:18OK, bye.
06:24Right, you have got a suit, haven't you?
06:26And make sure you have a shave and all, Dad.
06:28I'm starting to wish I hadn't suggested this.
06:31Yes, well, you did.
06:32And I want to make sure I've completely won them over
06:34before I tell them we're engaged,
06:36so I need us looking our best.
06:40Joel?
06:42All right, Ed?
06:43Why aren't you at work?
06:45My meeting's been cancelled,
06:47so I thought we could nip into town, get some lunch.
06:49Well, I can't.
06:51Just tell Adam you're meeting a client or something.
06:53I am meeting a client.
06:54Oh, well, you must be out to impress
06:56if you're whipping out the big guns.
06:58Oh, she is.
06:59HE CHUCKLES
07:01Ah, fine.
07:02Yeah, come on, off you go, cos I really need to get ready, yeah?
07:05And you and all, Dad, come on, shoo!
07:08Are you sure you don't want me to come?
07:09You might need my superior expertise.
07:11Yeah, well, it's you who thinks, mate.
07:13Yeah, off you go.
07:14Oh, Dad.
07:18HE SIGHS
07:19Oh, thank you for holding the fort.
07:21Er, you've forgotten the black pudding.
07:23Well, it doesn't really resemble black pudding any more,
07:25but you can have it if you want it.
07:27No, I'll leave it, thanks. OK.
07:29What are you doing?
07:31Putting ketchup on my beans.
07:32Why?
07:33Because I like it.
07:35But it's already covered in tomato sauce.
07:37You do realise that is ridiculous behaviour?
07:40Yeah, well, if you was brought up in my household, you'd understand.
07:43Not like you don't have any weird eating habits.
07:45Oh, not like I think I've.
07:47You do, you're just scared to rebuild on yourself.
07:50Worried that you'll put me off.
07:52OK, I am partial to the occasional crisp butter.
07:55That's not weird, everyone likes those.
07:57How about French fries and milkshake?
07:59Er, yeah, that is... that is gross.
08:01She likes her salty-sweet combo, does our Glenda.
08:03Thanks for that, George.
08:05Well, it's best he knows now, isn't it?
08:07Anyway, I've not come here to fight.
08:09I wanted to extend an olive branch.
08:12Well?
08:13I know we're probably going to end up in court,
08:15but I don't see any reason why we can't be civil to each other in the meantime.
08:19And does that civility extend to my new boyfriend?
08:21Yes, yes, it does.
08:23In fact, Michael, I wanted to apologise about the other day.
08:26I am not normally so...
08:27Rude, strappy, infantile?
08:30Yeah, all of the above.
08:32Anyway, I thought it might be nice if we got to know each other a bit,
08:36now that you and our Glenda are an item,
08:38so how about we go for a little drink later?
08:40Yeah, that's...
08:41No, you can't, we're going for dinner tonight.
08:43Right.
08:45OK, well, perhaps some other time.
08:51That was harsh.
08:52I have to be, you're a total pushover.
08:55Anyway, do you fancy dinner tonight?
08:58Yeah, sure.
09:00As long as you don't dip your chips in your milkshake.
09:08I'm so sorry, I had no idea you had blisters.
09:12I didn't know your shoes were hurting you that much,
09:14but I promise you I'll make it up to you, yeah?
09:16I'm not leaving here without a brand-new pair of shoes for you,
09:19and you can have any ones you want.
09:21See? Look.
09:23Sale on, 50% off.
09:26Are you ready to be measured?
09:27Erm, yeah.
09:29Her shoes have been hurting her.
09:31She's only had them a few months.
09:34I always recommend a leather upper for children.
09:36It's got more give.
09:38Kinder to growing feet.
09:40And they grow so quickly, don't they?
09:42When's the last time she was measured?
09:45They haven't got one of them at the supermarket.
09:48Well, she's, er, nine now,
09:51and she's, er, G, possibly an H.
09:55In width.
09:56Oh.
09:57That is wider than the average.
09:59So the standard width shoe you get in a supermarket
10:01will be far too narrow.
10:03Don't worry, we've plenty in stock that'll fit.
10:05Go and have a look.
10:09I normally apologise when I keep people waiting,
10:12but in your case, I'll make an exception.
10:14What do you want, Stefan?
10:18The deal's off.
10:19Eh?
10:21I had a quote from the reputation firm.
10:23It'll cost upwards of 60 grand a year
10:26to keep those videos from circulating.
10:28So? So? I'm not prepared to pay that.
10:30You can't do this.
10:32Oh, yes, I can.
10:34What?
10:36Did you really think I would pay that kind of money
10:39to repair your wife's reputation?
10:41She barely had one to start with.
10:43You...
10:47HE LAUGHS
10:50Oh, well done, Kevin!
10:53You've just added a salt to the charge sheet.
10:57That's two good reasons why you should crawl back
10:59into your little hole, or go to prison.
11:03Now, get out and don't waste any more of my time.
11:15They're pretty, aren't they?
11:17Well, they fit like a glove.
11:19Do you like them, yeah?
11:22And they're in the sale, right?
11:24The sale only applies to last season's stock, I'm afraid.
11:28Well, can we have a look at some that are in the sale?
11:30I'm sorry, we haven't got any left in her size.
11:34How much are they?
11:35£45.
11:38I only wanted to spend 20 quid.
11:40Sorry. I'm sure we can knock 10% off.
11:44I'll go and speak to the owner while you have a think.
11:50I'm so sorry, Carys, we can't afford these ones,
11:53so you're going to have to put your old ones back on, yeah?
11:57I promise I'll take you to another shop
11:59and I'll get you some that fit, yeah? Today.
12:04This isn't fair.
12:08None of this is fair.
12:14Here, come on.
12:16Oh, I've got it.
12:33MUSIC CONTINUES
12:50So this is what you've been doing all morning,
12:52while I've been on call-outs?
12:53I don't know why you bother, you're never going to knock me off the leaderboard.
12:56Well, I will die trying. Is Kevin out?
12:58Yeah, the supplier's had a meeting with Nick.
13:02Great. Scooch over.
13:04Come on, move! Why? What do you want to do?
13:06I'm going to try and retrieve that email that Kev deleted,
13:09the one with the deepfake.
13:11You can't do that.
13:13Why? Do you know something I don't?
13:15No. I've been wondering why Kev suddenly believes
13:18that Stefan's done with harassing us. What has he been up to?
13:20Right, I'm the one that's starting to feel harassed.
13:23All right, I'll be your way.
13:26Hiya, Mick.
13:28Yeah, is Kevin with you?
13:33DOOR CREAKS
13:41What?!
13:42What? What are you doing, creeping up on me?
13:44I've got something for you.
13:45So, are you all right?
13:47Yeah.
13:48Look, I wanted to give you this.
13:52Well, it's your parking fine.
13:54Well, half of it, so you can pay it before it goes up.
13:57Oh, Mum, you don't need to do that.
13:58I know, I know, but it's one less thing for you to worry about.
14:02Thanks.
14:03And what's she doing back?
14:05I thought they were going to the library today.
14:07Yeah, a nursery teacher called.
14:09She was dead upset her shoes were rubbing.
14:12They look brand-new to me.
14:15They are. We've just been in town.
14:18I thought you were skint.
14:19I am.
14:21But she had massive blisters. I didn't have a choice.
14:25So, how exactly did she pay for them?
14:28Hey, what happened? I thought you'd a day off.
14:31Oh, so did I.
14:33But Jenny's got a migraine and Daisy's out for the day.
14:37Sorry.
14:40Oh, I'm going to have to bail on our date tonight.
14:42It's OK, I'll go and see George in a sec.
14:44No way.
14:46Why? Are you scared he's not going to like me?
14:48No, no, he's...
14:49Just all this olive branch business, he's up to something, I know it.
14:53Yeah, well, maybe he's seen sense and wants to know.
14:55Or maybe he's seen sense and wants to start acting like a grown-up.
14:58Do you know George? No, but that's exactly my point.
15:01I think it's a good idea I make friends with the guy.
15:03He's your family.
15:05And then you can gain his trust
15:07and feed me the intel on what he's up to.
15:10Great idea.
15:12BELCHES
15:13Mm-hm.
15:15You have done some pretty stupid things in your time,
15:18but this takes the biscuit.
15:20Oh, you can talk, and I'm not proud of myself, right?
15:22Well, what if they've got you on CCTV?
15:25This isn't your first offence. You could go to jail.
15:27What am I meant to do, ma'am? Send her in wellies?
15:30Well, we could have worked something out.
15:32We could have gone to a charity shop.
15:34No, we can't, because her feet are really wide.
15:37And I would have known that if I'd ever got her properly measured.
15:39But no, my kids, they have to wear the cheapest shoes money can buy.
15:43Ones that are two sizes too small and so painful
15:45that she would rather hide them in the washing machine
15:48than wear them to nursery.
15:50Just stick her make her do, ma'am.
15:51Since when did shoes become a luxury?
15:56Hide them.
16:03Hiya!
16:05Sorry, I forgot my key.
16:06Don't worry, love. Come in, come in.
16:10Oh, is Dad not about to make tea yet?
16:12No, he'll be on his way.
16:14Look, why don't you take your mates upstairs
16:16and you can hang out in your room for a bit?
16:18Yeah.
16:20All right?
16:25This is what it's going to be like.
16:27Every time that door goes, you are going to jump out of your skin.
16:31Mum, what am I going to do?
16:38Can I help you, madam?
16:40I was just wondering if you could point me in the direction of my husband.
16:45He was due home for his lunch about an hour ago.
16:50So, can you tell him that his wife is expecting him
16:54to make it up to her... big time?
16:59Well, if it's a grand gesture you're after,
17:01maybe I could step in, hmm?
17:09Tell my husband to call me.
17:11OK.
17:13Steve.
17:14Hi.
17:18Where are we going?
17:19Linton Road to the tram stop.
17:21Lie it down, will you?
17:22Why are you in such a bad mood?
17:24Don't tell me it begins with C.
17:26Yes, actually.
17:29What's the home help up to now, then?
17:30No, not Cassie, Canty.
17:32The bust unveiling.
17:33I think Tracey's going to be there now and all, apparently, drooling all over him
17:36like the rest of his deluded fans.
17:38Not that I'm bothered. Yeah, yeah, I can see.
17:41Anyway, forget about Tommy-O, what are you going to do for your 50th?
17:45Well, Rovers, you know.
17:47Harris, a few pints.
17:49I thought we could have a night of debauchery.
17:51I'm too old for debauchery.
17:52Rubbish. Come on, it'd be a laugh.
17:54You never know, you might meet your sixth Mrs Macdonald whilst we're out.
17:58Imagine that.
17:59No.
18:07I didn't think you was in.
18:08Well, there's not much going on at the garage.
18:10What have you done to your hand?
18:12I've trapped it in the car door.
18:14Mm-hm.
18:16Was that when you were at the supplier's?
18:18Yeah, yeah.
18:20Well, that's strange, cos I've spoken to Mick
18:22and he says they haven't seen you all day.
18:25Kev, I know there's something going on.
18:27I've tried to get it out of Tyrone, but he's refused to dress you up,
18:30so I am giving you one chance to come clean.
18:36You're going to freak out.
18:38Try me.
18:42You don't think we're overdressed? No.
18:44If they say anything, we'll say we're on our way to the opera
18:46and I'll get a few brownie points.
18:48Come on. You'll be fine.
18:55Hi. Thank you for coming.
18:57Why, it's the least we could do.
19:00We owe you an apology.
19:01You must think we're terrible people,
19:03reacting the way we did to you and Joel.
19:07I hope you can forgive us.
19:09We meant no offence.
19:10I suppose part of us always hoped he'd get back together with...
19:15..Emily.
19:16For Maeve, you know.
19:19Of course. Yeah, I understand.
19:22And I owe you an apology as well.
19:24I mean, I was straight on the defensive.
19:27It's the lawyer in me.
19:29We're so pleased Joel has met someone who's his equal.
19:34You seem like a very accomplished young lady.
19:38We just don't understand
19:40why he kept you a secret for so long.
19:44Well, me neither, to be honest.
19:47I mean, I can't imagine keeping something like that from my dad.
19:49We have a job. We're in each other's pockets.
19:52You seem like a very close family.
19:54Yeah, we are.
19:56We were too, once upon a time.
19:59We're lucky if we get a phone call once a week now.
20:03Well, we can change all that.
20:05Now we've cleared the air.
20:07In fact, I'm hoping to see a lot more of you because we...
20:11You guys ready to order some drinks?
20:13Yes, please, Amy. This is Anthea and Gus Joel's parents.
20:17Pleased to meet you.
20:18You must be excited about the engagement meal tomorrow.
20:24You're engaged?
20:34Oh, you again.
20:37How's your brother?
20:39He's still in need of legal services.
20:41Is this you doing the hard sell?
20:42Wow, business must be bad.
20:45Er, I do a lot of my work pro bono.
20:48No-one does anything for free.
20:51I like helping people. What's wrong with that?
20:53Ooh, a modern-day knight.
20:54Next, you'll be showing me your jousting stick.
21:01Do you, erm...
21:03fancy making these coffees Irish?
21:13Didn't your mum tell you? It's rude to stare.
21:17Ha! Sorry, it's just...
21:22You remind me of someone.
21:23An ex, actually.
21:28Must have been fit, then.
21:31Mm. Well, put it this way.
21:34I was definitely punching.
21:42HE SIGHS
21:59Wait a minute. That's her.
22:02You!
22:12HE SIGHS
22:14HE SIGHS
22:39You didn't have to swoop in and save me, Kev.
22:42So you wanted to face that slimeball in court?
22:45If I had to. I wanted him to bury those videos.
22:48Oh, you thought the best way to get him to do that was by lampin' him one?
22:51He was prodding me. He was saying stuff.
22:53I don't care, Kev. You've made it way worse.
22:56Hang on. I'm on your side.
22:58No, you didn't punch him for me.
23:00You did it to feel like a big man.
23:02What if he goes to the police? We've got his phone.
23:04That you stole?
23:06Yeah, I didn't think this could get any messier, but well done.
23:09I was thinking of you. I'm always thinking of you.
23:13Granted, it didn't go exactly to plan, but I was trying to sort it.
23:17You don't have to fix everything.
23:20You're joking.
23:22What? Forget it.
23:24See, you do think I need saving.
23:26Well, let's find out, eh?
23:28So you're gonna leg it, like you always do?
23:33I'm inviting you to the engagement meal now.
23:36At short notice?
23:38So glad you can squeeze us in.
23:41I just think you're being a little bit unreasonable.
23:43My dad says that a chocolate pudding solves any problem.
23:47I mean, he's wrong, but you might as well have something sweet whilst you're out.
23:51I'm sorry if my feelings are inconvenient.
23:54This past year, Joel's been very distant.
23:57You've obviously been keeping things from us.
24:00Like what?
24:02Our son is getting married and he didn't tell us.
24:06Why is that?
24:09Look, I am not looking to exclude you.
24:11I wouldn't do that.
24:13The proof is in the pudding.
24:15We've been left out in the cold.
24:18OK, you're overreacting.
24:20Oh, says the possessive fiancé.
24:23Uh, hush. How dare you?
24:25Don't raise your voice at my wife.
24:27No, I'm gonna say my piece.
24:29First of all, you've been looking down your noses at us,
24:32and now you accuse our DD of stealing away your precious son.
24:35Let me tell you something.
24:37If he's keeping his distance, it's cos he wants to.
24:39It's nothing to do with DD.
24:41Joel loves us. It has to be her.
24:43My DD is the most kind, honest and loyal person you will ever meet.
24:48Yeah, I second that.
24:50We've been through some hard times lately,
24:52and I'm ashamed to say it,
24:54but if it hadn't been for DD, we'd have crumbled.
24:57I've just done what anyone...
24:59You've picked this family up time and time again.
25:01Yeah, you have.
25:03OK, I think that's enough of the DD Appreciation Society.
25:06It's not quite.
25:08Joel's not just found a good'un, he's found THE good'un.
25:11And he's leaving you two out of it.
25:13Then you need to go and talk to him.
25:18Oh!
25:26Paint?
25:28Yeah, I think I need it.
25:31It's that random bloke we saw at the police station's spiky coffee.
25:35Right, whisky is hardly spiking me drink.
25:38He was treating me like an adult.
25:40He was about 30.
25:42So?
25:44Oh, some old bloke tried to get in your pants.
25:46He's a hot-shot lawyer.
25:48Oh, yeah, did he tell you that himself?
25:50Probably stacked shelves of fresh cones.
25:52Why do you think he was at the police station?
25:54And... he gave me a drink.
25:57Yeah, fine, he's legit.
25:59Still doesn't mean he's a good guy.
26:01Does that mean you don't trust him?
26:03I'm not.
26:05What?
26:07Slimy blokes like him don't do something for nothing.
26:10Just stay well clear.
26:12I'll, er, truck this for you.
26:19So, what's up?
26:21Oh, nothing.
26:23I was just thinking about you.
26:26BIRDS CHIRP
26:33I thought you were making chesburgers.
26:35My money tree hasn't bloomed yet.
26:37Sorry, pal.
26:39There were gonna be more breadcrumbs than mints
26:42when you invited more of your mates, so...
26:45What, manky old kebabs?
26:47And chips.
26:49If you don't want it...
26:51What are the lads gonna think?
26:53Joseph, come on, you hate salad,
26:55and everyone loves a kebab.
26:57You're from posh boys. Trust me.
26:59Oh, I love the smell of fried food in the morning.
27:02It's five o'clock.
27:04Philistine.
27:06Wicked. Mum never lets me have stuff like this.
27:08Nice one, Mr Winterbrown.
27:10Thanks.
27:12Don't worry, lads.
27:14Thanks, Dad.
27:16I am smashing parenting today.
27:18That's good.
27:20Yeah, kebabs were a hit with the grumpy kids.
27:23And I sorted Carys's shoe problem.
27:25Did you?
27:27Yeah, Dev's given us some of Ash's old ones.
27:29Do you know that he's kept all the shoes
27:31from when they were little?
27:33Who knew he was so sentimental?
27:35Yeah, it's full of surprises, Dev, isn't it?
27:39Come here.
27:41My luck's changing, Jan.
27:43I know it.
27:45I've just got to keep working hard
27:47and I'll be thankful for the kindness of...
27:49Well, I mean,
27:52well, Dev's not a stranger,
27:54but you know what I mean.
27:56Maybe she's gone to police to report Stefan.
27:58I mean, she could be telling him
28:00that you've got evidence on his phone.
28:02Except then she'll have to tell him how we got the phone.
28:04Oh, yeah.
28:06Or she's gone to finish what you started.
28:08Then we all know she's got some right hook on her.
28:10Oh, she was fuming, mate,
28:12but she won't make the same mistake as me.
28:14Look, we've all done it.
28:16It was just a stupid punch.
28:18If only she was as understanding.
28:20Look, Abif isn't with you, OK?
28:22She'll calm down and she'll realise you were just trying to help.
28:24I just wanted Stefan to help the whole rotten family
28:26out of Abi's life for good.
28:28Just so we're clear,
28:32I won't be paying a penny
28:34towards any reputation management nonsense.
28:36Fine.
28:38But I'm not messing when I say no more videos.
28:40And you keep quiet about Kev
28:42giving you that black eye and breaking into your office.
28:44As much as I've enjoyed our back and forths,
28:46I have no desire
28:49to see that phone get anywhere near the police.
28:51Good, cos I won't hesitate to hand it in if you grass him up.
28:54I'm a man of my word.
28:56I would say we shake on it,
28:58but I don't want to catch out.
29:00Right, well,
29:02if you want to make your way out...
29:04You can sit there all smoked
29:06thinking you've won the battle.
29:08Oh, is this the bit where you say,
29:10but you'll win the war?
29:12Come near me again
29:14and I'll bring you down.
29:16You,
29:18your son, your second cousin once removed.
29:20I'll destroy you.
29:22I thought you were leaving.
29:24Oh, would you prefer to be thrown out again?
29:27I'll leave.
29:29You enjoy your nasty little life.
29:35I've got a family who love me.
29:37And you, well,
29:39your wife's long gone and your son's a monster.
29:42You're the troll under the bridge.
29:45You're a pathetic,
29:48lonely man.
29:51And that ain't changing any time soon.
29:59If Joel's keeping his distance,
30:01that's not your fault.
30:03They can stuff their accusations where the sun don't shine.
30:06Oh, well, that's poetic.
30:08Should have included it in your speech, Dad.
30:11Oh, happy Joel.
30:14You all right?
30:16Yeah.
30:18Yeah, you know, I just...
30:20I wish it'd have gone better.
30:22I know you love Joel.
30:24We all do.
30:26But you don't have to love his parents.
30:28Hmm.
30:30I reckon that Anthea will be a right monster-in-law.
30:33What's she now?
30:35Oh, we thought you'd be Joel.
30:37Oh.
30:39I thought you'd be Anthea.
30:41We thought you'd be Joel.
30:43Erm...
30:45Look, I'm really sorry, but I'm tired of arguing with you.
30:48And if you don't like me...
30:50We're sorry.
30:52Again.
30:56Keep going.
31:00Joel tends
31:02to go into himself at times.
31:05He's shut us out before,
31:07and, er...
31:10It killed us, didn't it, Gus?
31:12Felt like it.
31:14He's been quiet this past year,
31:16and we haven't known why,
31:18and so when we met you...
31:20We're not ashamed to admit that we've overreacted.
31:23We're sorry.
31:25You're very lucky
31:27to have a father and a brother
31:29who believes
31:31such lovely things about you.
31:35I know.
31:37And I'm lucky to have Joel too.
31:39And we really want you to be in our lives,
31:41but I cannot keep rowing with you.
31:43We don't want to keep arguing either.
31:46Just promise
31:48you won't leave us out.
31:51I promise.
31:54So if the invitation is still valid?
31:57We'd like to come
31:59to your engagement meal.
32:02Of course. Of course.
32:04But do remember it's a surprise,
32:06so no letting on.
32:09Them lads are so polite.
32:11I might get everyone to start calling me Mr Winterbrown now.
32:14When I was their age,
32:16I'd barely make eye contact with my mate's parents.
32:18Mind you, one look at the size of my pupils,
32:20I'd have been out of my ear.
32:22I hope you like your tea, Black.
32:24Milk's gone off.
32:26Gemma's gone to get some.
32:28Ooh, you're pushing the boat out, aren't you?
32:30Milk and kebabs?
32:32Living like the Beckhams.
32:34Hardly. Still skin and bones.
32:37Hardly. Still skin.
32:39Look, at least Cerys's feet aren't squashed.
32:42Unless she's got some shoes that actually fit, bless her.
32:45She decided to keep them, then?
32:47Who?
32:49Well, I know Gem and I was just thinking about Cerys's feet,
32:52but I thought she'd decided to take back the shoes she'd robbed.
32:56The shoes she's what?
32:58Well, the wide-fitting ones.
33:00They were really pricey and...
33:03Do you know what? I think I might have got it wrong.
33:06Gemma stole Cerys some shoes. Are you kidding me?
33:09Hey! Got the milk.
33:11And I got these biscuits. It was only 20p.
33:29No, she never robbed them.
33:31I got it wrong.
33:33Mum, can you just leave us?
33:36Please. OK.
33:41Sorry.
33:51I didn't come.
33:53Oh, Gem.
33:55I felt proper bad after.
33:58And honestly, I'm not that person any more.
34:00I don't want our kids in stolen gear.
34:02And I tried to take them back, but then the shopkeeper,
34:05he saw me and he come after me and I just lashed the shoes
34:07and I licked it and I am really, really sorry.
34:12Yeah, so am I.
34:15I'm so sorry that you felt like you had no choice but to shoplift.
34:20So our kids weren't in pain.
34:22I mean, what kind of dad can't even provide shoes for his own kids?
34:25But you can.
34:27You got them ones off, Dev.
34:29While I were out nicking, you were finding a better way.
34:34Chas, you're the best dad ever.
34:38You won't be saying that when we're homeless, Gemma.
34:43It's like you said, though.
34:45Our luck's changing, innit? We've just got to keep swimming, haven't we?
34:55Well, hello.
34:57I'm at your service, Lady Chatterley, shall we head home?
35:00Do you like it there, my new frock?
35:02It's better when it's on the bedroom floor.
35:04It's a silk mix, Tim.
35:06Well, I'd be careful. Anyway, I'm not Tim.
35:09I'm the Staple.
35:11Do you think it's suitable for the bust unveiling?
35:14What if I'm doing the unveiling?
35:16Tommy Orpington's bust.
35:18Oh.
35:20Ooh. Will I get to meet some of the players?
35:23Maybe. There'll be a lot of influential people and local celebrities there.
35:27And it'll be great for me as former mayor to be seen at such a prestigious event.
35:32It's strictly one glass of cava per person, it says here.
35:35Oh, trust you to go straight to the drinks.
35:37Drinker. Singular.
35:39Anyway, I can't make that cos I've got to be around for Steve's birthday bonanza.
35:43Oh, I'm sure you can postpone it.
35:46Well, three pints of ale and a game of darts.
35:48That's not easy to reschedule, love.
35:50Tim, this means a lot to me.
35:52And Steve means a lot to me.
35:54Well, then you've got a decision to make, haven't you?
35:57It's either me or Steve.
36:00Right, looks like the stable boy isn't getting lucky tonight.
36:03Well, madam, wait, wait.
36:09Here we go.
36:12Oh, where's my calamari?
36:14Oh, did you know there's over 300 species of squid?
36:19Some of them as small as a five-pence piece.
36:23And then others that are as large as...
36:25Look, they're massive.
36:27I saw drawings of them attacking boats.
36:30Those for real?
36:32No, no, I was... I don't think I was joking.
36:35Funny.
36:37I bet you and my sister have a right laugh, don't you?
36:40Yeah, yeah, we do sometimes, yeah.
36:42You know, you're exactly what she needs, you know.
36:45Especially since me and her are...
36:48Yeah, at each other's throats.
36:51Families can be tricky, can't they?
36:55You know, I do regret the way I've handled all this.
36:58I hate arguing with Glenda.
37:00So? So are you.
37:02Well...
37:04that's where you come in.
37:06Well, you're a decent bloke, aren't you?
37:09So I wondered if you might...
37:11No, I don't think I'm the right person.
37:14Convince her to drop the case, Michael.
37:17Please. I miss my sister.
37:21So...
37:23Stefan gets away with it, eh?
37:25Well, he doesn't.
37:27He has to wake up every day and be him.
37:29That's punishment enough for anyone.
37:31And he's not gonna make any more videos?
37:33Well, he knows we've still got the phone.
37:35Look, we made a deal. We're just gonna have to trust he sticks to it.
37:38Yeah, but those videos are still out there.
37:41Is there nothing we can do?
37:43Well, we could break his legs.
37:45He responds well to violence.
37:47I've said I'm sorry.
37:49It's out of our hands. I need to move on from it.
37:51Tomorrow's a new day, eh?
37:53I suppose.
37:55Do you know what? I'm knackered. I'm gonna have a lie down.
38:03Immersive go-karting?
38:05Yeah. I was gonna book it for my dad for his birthday.
38:07So what, like, you're not really in the go-kart?
38:10No, you are, but you're on, like, a virtual track.
38:13Oh, it's great. You get these, like, power-ups
38:15and these, like, banana skins that you can chuck at other drivers.
38:17Really? No, virtually.
38:19He's a big kid at heart, your dad, isn't he?
38:21Yeah, he'll be well up his street.
38:23But now, it's been a proper birthday grinch,
38:25so we're gonna go instead, aren't we?
38:27Yep, if you're prepared to eat my dust bar, though.
38:29Why's your dad been such a grump?
38:31He says that in his mind he's 21, but his knees are near death.
38:34Not dramatic at all, then.
38:36My dad still hasn't gotten over his 50th.
38:38Don't throw a surprise party
38:40if your dad thinks he's gonna get lucky.
38:42Who? Ah, poor Steve-o.
38:44You're only as old as you feel.
38:46That makes me about 80 today, then.
38:48Er, I'll just be one sec.
38:50Who's that?
38:52Just a mate.
38:54Mate, yeah. Unlikely she's up to something.
38:58Steve. Tim.
39:00I'm gonna have to postpone our darts in the afternoon.
39:03Do you mean my birthday darts in the afternoon?
39:05Yeah. I mean, why's that, I wonder?
39:07I've got a doctor's appointment
39:09and then I've got a dentist's appointment straight after.
39:11I can't cancel them, either of them.
39:13Right. So you're gonna miss Matt?
39:16Birthday. Yeah. Sorry about that.
39:18I've got it.
39:20Chopped pint.
39:22Right, go on, then, but I've got to see a man about a door first.
39:24Right.
39:26Someone's getting a surprise birthday party.
39:29Who's that, then?
39:31Oh, you know what? I admire your dedication to the crowd.
39:34Now, I told my Amy that I didn't want a fuss,
39:37but she clearly knows me better than I know myself.
39:39And who doesn't want a room full of people that love him?
39:41Well, it depends who the people are.
39:44Hey, better practise my shot face, have I?
39:46Lovely.
39:52What did my brother say, then?
39:54Did he give you his blessing for my hand?
39:57No jokes.
39:59I've no desire for you to take me up the aisle just yet.
40:02What was he saying?
40:04Well, he bought me a pint, which was nice.
40:06It wasn't a date, Mickey boy. What did he want?
40:09Well, he's upset about you two fighting.
40:11Well, he knows what he needs to do to sort it, doesn't he?
40:14Yeah, and he says he really misses you.
40:16And you have to admit, this has got really out of hand.
40:19All right, family's row, I mean, look at me and mine,
40:22but, I mean, you always know what's important.
40:24So maybe you should drop the case and...
40:28He's got to, yeah.
40:30I should have seen it coming.
40:32He's such a righty.
40:34Yeah, but you're loyal, babe.
40:36Now, you take over behind the bar,
40:38cos I've got an undertaker to bury.
40:40Hey, now, look, you two gobbing off at each other again
40:43isn't going to sort anything.
40:46You know what?
40:48You're very wise for someone so gorgeous.
40:50I'll leave it.
40:52Good.
40:53Until he lets his guard down.
40:55And then I'll swoop in and pounce when he least expects it.
41:00Hey, this is weird, innit, all the kids occupied upstairs?
41:03Mm.
41:04I feel like I'm being naughty, not doing Mum's stuff.
41:07I enjoy being up there playing together.
41:09Cos I bet you, in five minutes,
41:11at least one of them's going to be kicking off.
41:14Hey, I'll bet you the last broken biscuit,
41:17it'll be Cleo.
41:19The way she stomps about.
41:22Oh, there you go.
41:24It's all right, I'll go.
41:29My dad's picking us up in his new Q5.
41:31Cool.
41:33Well, lads, you're welcome here any time you want.
41:39You!
41:41How did you find me?
41:43All right, Dad.
41:59Can I help you?
42:01I'm Sabrina's mate.
42:03The teenage girl you tried to get drunk earlier?
42:05Sorry, what?
42:08You're good. Bit of a snooty accent, good posture,
42:11but, nah, you don't fool me.
42:16I honestly have no idea what you're talking about.
42:19The thing is with me is I've got quite a big gob
42:22and it's going to cost you to keep it shut.
42:25Oh. You want money.
42:29Doesn't sound good, does it?
42:31Weird. Old lawyer chatting up a young, vulnerable woman
42:36Lying her with alcohol.
42:38I was just trying to help.
42:40Now, why don't you go back to your doll's house, little girl?
42:51I can explain.
42:53I should call the police.
42:55Please don't.
42:57Is there a problem? I'll say there is.
42:59I'm sorry, but who are you?
43:01My dad. He's the man from the shoe shop, Jess.
43:03The shoe shop you stole from?
43:05Er, do you know what's the other one?
43:07Yeah, lads, why don't you get in the car?
43:09What, I missed this?
43:11Boys, the Audi. Now.
43:17I was trying to take them back.
43:19I see. Steal and attempt to get a refund?
43:22No.
43:24So you were trying your luck again, were you?
43:26Seeing what more of my stuff you could pilfer?
43:28No, I wasn't. I just panicked and I dropped them.
43:31Honestly, Joseph, I was trying to do the right thing.
43:34You're lying and have some respect.
43:36Right, you need to wind your neck in, mate.
43:38How could you do this?
43:40It's obviously a misunderstanding, Joseph.
43:42We'll see if the police agree.
44:03Subtitling made possible by Acorn Media