Me and My Girl S1 Episode 2

  • 3 months ago
Me and My Girl S1 Episode 2

Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00Our love will last forever, my girl and me
00:06We know that we two belong together
00:11But sometimes it seems I shatter our dreams
00:17With some careless word or foolish lie
00:24Me and my girl, we've got each other
00:28Whatever life may send us
00:32Me and my girl, we've got each other
00:35However life may bend us
00:39Sure we'll see tears fall
00:43Love never was all rainbows
00:49But there'll always be
00:54Me and my girl, my girl and me
01:02Dad!
01:06Dad?
01:10Dad!
01:11Maybe we shouldn't have disturbed them
01:13This is a recorded message
01:14Daddy's brain is still at the menders
01:16I've brought you some coffee
01:17You drink it
01:18It's a beautiful day outside
01:20Then go outside and drink it
01:23I said we'd maybe better let him lie
01:25Well, it was time he was up anyway
01:27I mean, parents are supposed to set an example
01:30So just lying there like a lump
01:33Lump?
01:35Listen, if I wanted to
01:37I could leap out of this bed
01:38Fling open the windows
01:39Do forty press-ups
01:40And still have enough breath
01:42To greet the morn with a shout of joy
01:44Well, then why don't you?
01:45Because I'll be knackered for the rest of the day
01:48But what are you doing in here anyway?
01:50Oh, Maddy's got some exciting news
01:52It's just been delivered
01:54Congratulations, boy or girl?
01:56It's her local paper
01:58My father sends it to me every week
02:00The Inver Bugle Bugle
02:02Is that a Jewish publication?
02:04No, no, it's just a wee local newspaper
02:07Well, I must have been thinking of the Inver Bugle Bagel
02:09Well, maybe so
02:10But anyhow, they have this letter page
02:13Dear Joan
02:15I've had this letter printed
02:17Well done, Maddy
02:19It really isn't very much, you know
02:21But I've got to start somewhere
02:23And this is my first time in print
02:25Well, come on then, let's hear it
02:27Oh, I couldn't, I couldn't
02:29I really couldn't
02:30I'd never get the words out
02:31Well, look, I'll just leave it here
02:36If you want to, just if you want to mind
02:38You know, you could, you could
02:39Not that it'll interest you very much
02:40But if it does, then please feel free to
02:43Don't expect too much
02:44I mean, it's nothing, it's nothing at all
02:45You're welcome to if you want to
02:46But if you don't want to, you know
02:48Well, when you're picked in the heat
02:49Who cares if it's a cuddy?
02:55Do you know, sometimes I wish she had subtitles
02:58Come on, you read it to me
03:02Dear Joan
03:03My grandfather lived in Inver Bugle all his life
03:06And I never saw him do anything but smile
03:08Obviously, he was the local loony
03:10Dad
03:12Whenever he saw a glum face
03:13He'd always say his little rhyme
03:16Lift off your clute and look aboot
03:18When days are cold and grey
03:20If you've a tooth, then ope up your mooth
03:23And smile the clouds away
03:25And they thought McGonagall was a bad poet
03:29You've been doing some writing yourself?
03:30What? Oh, yeah, yeah
03:32Well, I found this old address book
03:33And I was just sort of
03:34Jotting down a few names and numbers
03:36Before I threw it away
03:38Sally, Nicky, Jane, Estelle
03:40Did you really go out with all these girls?
03:42Uh-huh
03:43Mind you, it was sort of spread over
03:44A period of five or six years
03:46And, of course, you were younger, too
03:48That must have helped
03:49In what way?
03:50Not so knackered
03:53What are the ticks for?
03:54Or shouldn't I ask?
03:55Oh, no, no, no
03:56There's nothing suggestive about it at all
03:57I mean, if I put a tick next to the girl's name
04:00It just sort of means that they were more, um
04:02They were sort of more fun to be with
04:06I'd hate to be her name on a list like this
04:08I sincerely hope you won't be
04:09What does that mean?
04:10You hope I won't go out with men like you?
04:12Yeah
04:13No, no
04:14Excuse me, can I have my list back, please?
04:16Which one was Kim?
04:17Hmm?
04:18The one you've underlined twice
04:20Kim Tracy
04:22Oh, she was, um
04:25She was a designer like your mother
04:28In fact, your granny liked her
04:30Didn't she come on holiday with us?
04:32That's right, to Ibiza
04:33She was nice
04:34Would you like to see her again?
04:36Has this got anything to do with Gran's campaign?
04:38It does seem a bit like that, doesn't it?
04:40But, you know, sometimes I think maybe it's not such a bad idea
04:44I mean, I loved your mother very much
04:46And, uh, well, I never thought I'd sort of remarry
04:48But now, well, I'm not so sure
04:52Did that sort of upset you?
04:54Well, it wouldn't be right if it did
04:56But then was then, now's now
04:58Do you know, you should send that to the Inverbagel bugle
05:01You will send something nice to Maddy about her letter, won't you?
05:03Yeah, yeah, yeah
05:05I'll be right down as soon as I've soldered the final connections to my brain
05:09I thought it got easier to get up as you got older
05:11Nothing gets easier as you get older
05:14Getting older doesn't even get easier as you get older
05:19Kim
05:21Kim Harrop
05:23Simon and Kim Harrop
05:28Oh, God
05:31Just, uh, hang on a minute
05:33Yeah, yeah, what is it?
05:34Have you, uh, have you finished with my bugle?
05:38Oh, no, sorry, no, no, no, no, I haven't
05:40Did you, uh, did you read my letter?
05:42Yes, I did
05:43Oh, you didn't like it, did you?
05:45Oh, I mean, did you, did you like it?
05:46Oh, you didn't, did you?
05:47I did
05:48You didn't, did you?
05:49I did
05:50You did?
05:51And I'm going to read it again
05:52Well, you wouldn't, would you?
05:53I would
05:54You would?
05:55Well, I would, I say, I would, if I wouldn't, would I?
05:57Oh, well, I'll leave it to you then, you know
05:59I kind of thought with your sophistication and that
06:01You might think it was a wee bit wet
06:03Oh, no, no, no
06:05Definitely not wet
06:09Absolutely soaking
06:13Hey, a bit early in the morning for you to be playing Space Invaders, isn't it?
06:16I'm doing a cost breakdown for the show we're mounting for the Darcy chocolate salesman
06:20Look, Darcy's have sent over their new box
06:22Yes, but they're the same rotten old chocolates inside, are they?
06:25Afraid so, even my dog won't touch them
06:28Tried them out on the kids and Muriel accused me of trying to poison them
06:32I don't think I was
06:34So, listen, Derek, how are we going to coax 150 bored salesmen to get excited about a project they couldn't even give away last year?
06:41Well, look, I know this is your department, you're the creative one
06:45But I had this idea
06:48It's a bit rough at the moment, so cast aside if you don't like it
06:52But as it's a summertime selection, I thought the girls could come on, you know, in cut-down jeans and straw hats
06:58And they're singing
06:59Oh, well, here we are
07:01And it's summertime
07:03On the phone
07:04And we're having lots of fun
07:06And making hay
07:08And things
07:10But what we like most is
07:12Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
07:14Darcy's summertime selection
07:25What, what, what, what do you think?
07:28Oh
07:31That good, eh?
07:32Well, at least the costumes for the girls will be cheap
07:34Listen, if we've got the girls to come out without any costumes at all, it'll be even cheaper
07:39Then, of course, who'd look at the chocolates, eh?
07:43Oh, I recognise those knuckles
07:45Nell?
07:46Yes, it's me
07:47Pretend to be working
07:48I'm coming in
07:50We are working, you suspicious old harridan
07:52Oh, be nice to her, Simon
07:54She's coming to sign checks
07:56Nell, you are looking absolutely fabulous
07:59Yes, I know
08:01I'm delighted to see the girls yet this morning
08:03Liz
08:04Yes, Liz
08:05Yes, but we are letting her off this afternoon
08:06Oh, no
08:07It's a very economic arrangement
08:08She only works for us part-time
08:10Yes, and the other time she goes for auditions
08:12Oh, yes, of course
08:13She wants to be an actress
08:14Has she done much?
08:15Oh, yeah, yeah
08:16Eighteen auditions since last Tuesday
08:20Liz, could you come in a minute, please?
08:21Yes, Mr. Harrod
08:22And could you give us your national theatre audition?
08:25Oh, all right, then
08:26She does this one a lot
08:34Out, damned spot!
08:36Out, I say!
08:39Is this Lady Macbeth?
08:40No, it's Barbara Woodhouse
08:41Out, I...
08:43What do you mean, Barbara Woodhouse?
08:45Sorry, sorry, sorry
08:46Hell is mocking
08:49Is this Shakespeare's Lady Macbeth?
08:51Well, it isn't Enid Blyton, is it?
08:54Which I would have thought the old man to have so much blood in him
09:01Good, innit?
09:03We'll let you know
09:05Okay
09:09I still think we should consider employing a full-time secretary
09:12It costs us three times what we pay Liz
09:15She's a little gem, isn't she?
09:17Come over here now
09:18I've set out all the bills in order
09:20Before I part with any more of my lifeblood
09:23Have we hired a designer yet for the Darcy promotion?
09:27No, no, not yet
09:28Good, because I called Kim Tracy this morning and asked her to consider it
09:33Nell, have you been talking to Sam again?
09:35This has nothing to do with your personal life
09:38Kim happens to be a very good designer
09:41You could, of course, say no, but it would be very embarrassing
09:44Why?
09:45She's waiting downstairs in her car
09:47I got her to drive me in
09:48Now?
09:49No, please don't get up
09:51I'll fetch her
10:01Derek, how do you get on with your mother-in-law?
10:04Rather well, actually
10:05She and her husband don't like the way the kids are being brought up
10:08So every time they come round, we all gang up on Muriel
10:14Why are you getting so jittery about meeting Kim again?
10:17I don't know
10:19Well, I do, really
10:20Why?
10:22Well, guilt, mainly
10:23I mean, you know, towards the sort of end of our affair
10:26Well, I treated her pretty rotten, you know
10:29I didn't return phone calls, stood her up at dates
10:33And I suddenly saw this sort of matrimonial gleam in her eye, you know
10:36And I wanted no part of that
10:38Oh, God
10:39Just once in my life, I'd like to be really rotten to a woman
10:44Not cruel, you understand
10:46Just sort of...
10:47Mean, moody and magnificent
10:49Exactly
10:50I have this picture of myself standing like Tom Jones
10:53And there's this gorgeous girl with black glossy hair and a torn petticoat
10:58And she's clutching at my ankle
11:01And I'm saying, no more, it's not good for you
11:07Well, maybe we could have a sort of a government warning to toot across your chest
11:11Too much Derek may damage your health
11:14Listen, why don't you try being sort of mean and moody with Muriel?
11:18Don't be stupid
11:19I mean, at the start, she's always been half an inch taller than me anyway
11:23Now she's doing these bodybuilding classes
11:27Muriel with muscles
11:29My God
11:31Awesome thought, isn't it?
11:33Is she getting any?
11:34Well, I do my best
11:39Extraordinary behaviour
11:40What is?
11:41Kim wasn't there
11:42Well, maybe she's decided she didn't want the job after all
11:45I think she does
11:46She's probably decided she can't face you again, you animal
11:50What?
11:52No, no problem, no problem
11:54I'll try and give Kim a ring later on, OK?
11:57Why don't you arrange to meet her informally?
12:03Back at your place, say
12:05I know Sam's dying to see her again
12:08Nell, don't you ever get tired of running my life?
12:10Well, it's cheaper than running a car
12:13Though it does share the same problem
12:15And what's that?
12:16Every so often you have to get out and push
12:32Hi, Sam
12:33Dad
12:34What?
12:35Why?
12:36What?
12:37Why did you do it?
12:38Why are you whispering?
12:39Oh, Maddy dear
12:40Look, come in here
12:41OK
12:44She found her paper all scrunched up in your waste bin
12:46Well, I spilled coffee all over it this morning
12:49Oh, hello, Mr Harrop
12:50Oh, hi, Maddy
12:51Listen, I'm terribly sorry if I upset you
12:53Oh, it's quite all right, Mr Harrop
12:56Look, it was a stupid letter anyway
12:58I'm not upset, I'm really not
13:01So, as my father would say
13:02Please dinny-fash yourself
13:04Oh, but I have fashed myself
13:07I've fashed myself good and proper
13:09By God, I do feel better for it
13:12I'm sorry, Samantha
13:13It's no joke
13:14Please, please
13:16Now
13:18Madeleine Dunlop
13:21You thought your flinty-hearted employer
13:23Had ripped open your first printed opus
13:26In a fit of pique or jealousy
13:28But oh no
13:31Because Madeleine Dunlop
13:33Cook, housemaid, nurse-keeper
13:35Nurse-keeper and hack
13:37This is your letter
13:42Oh
13:44Friend
13:45Dad
13:46For me
13:47Oh, Mr Harrop
13:49What can I say?
13:50Well, you can tell me
13:51What that delicious smell is in the kitchen
13:53Oh, that's just a wee casserole
13:54I put in for your supper
13:55Oh, great
13:56Because somebody might be sort of
13:57Popping round later on
13:59Oh, this is beautiful, Mr Harrop
14:02Just beautiful
14:04Now, don't cry
14:05If you're going to cry, go to your room
14:08I'll just go and hang it on my wall
14:10Oh, I can hang it on my wall, can't I?
14:12Well, it'd look a bit silly round your neck, wouldn't it?
14:20Hello, Simon
14:22Well, hello
14:23Long time
14:25Yes, it is
14:28You look sensational
14:29Well, you look very well yourself
14:32Are you inviting me in?
14:35I'm sorry, yes, sorry
14:36Come in, come in, come in
14:37I brought some examples of my recent work
14:40OK, well, we'll have a look at them later, shall we?
14:41Do you want to go in?
14:42OK
14:48Well, you're certainly not fat
14:50Sorry?
14:51You're still in the same flat
14:52Yes
14:54Do you remember it?
14:55Yeah
14:56Drink?
14:57Mm-hmm
14:58Whiskey with soda, wasn't it?
15:00Mm-hmm
15:03Hello, Kim
15:04So, Mum
15:05Yes
15:06I don't believe it, you're all grown up
15:08Well, I hope I've got a bit to go yet
15:10I'm only 13
15:11Oh, 13
15:12You realise, Simon, you have a teenage daughter
15:15I know, it's depressing, isn't it?
15:16I'm just one step away from the paunch and pension
15:20Oh, I looked out some holiday snatcher Dad took in Ibiza
15:23But how old were you then?
15:25A ghastly, pathetic eight
15:27You weren't ghastly
15:29Oh, look
15:30Here's one of the two of us on the beach together
15:32Oh, I was such a horrible little prig
15:34I know, you never really approved of me going topless
15:36Yes, but I did
15:40And look at my puritanical daughter
15:42Do you realise you were the only female on that beach who wouldn't take a bikini top off?
15:46That's why it makes it so pathetic
15:48Why?
15:49When I was eight, I had absolutely no reason to keep it on
15:53Do you remember when that fat German dived in and soaked everybody?
15:56Funny
15:57Yes, and the little Frenchman who hated him so much
15:59suddenly went for him with the air bed
16:01and slipped on our suntan oil
16:03And then sat on top of that fat German's wife
16:06Oh, I'd forgotten just how hilarious that holiday was
16:09Yes
16:14It's amazing how time flies when you're having fun
16:17Don't you agree, sir?
16:18I think Dad's hinting I should go to bed
16:20No, not at all
16:24If I wanted you to go to bed, I'd say so
16:25Alright, then I'll stay up
16:26Go to bed
16:28Okay
16:29You can come down and say goodnight when you're in your night things, alright?
16:31Yeah, so you can get down to business
16:33Get out!
16:36Do you want some more coffee?
16:37I don't think so
16:38Okay
16:42I can't get over how she's changed
16:46I'll tell you something, Kim, you haven't
16:47Do you know, you're still as stunning as the first time I saw you
16:50Simon
16:51Hey, do you remember when that was?
16:52Graphics exhibition, Whitechapel
16:54That's right
16:55And you were with that frightful blimp in a business suit
16:58He wasn't a blimp
16:59No, excuse me a second
17:00He was a very sweet, very talented merchant banker
17:03Yes, of course he was
17:04And what was his name again?
17:05Uh, Nuffy? Giffy?
17:06Geoffrey
17:07Geoffrey, Geoffrey, yeah, that's right
17:10He didn't stand much of a chance, did he?
17:12Once I clapped eyes on you
17:15Simon
17:16Good night, Derek
17:17I've just had this fabulous idea
17:19I can't stay long, I've got little brutes in the car
17:21If I leave them alone for more than a minute
17:23They try to garrote each other with the seatbelts
17:25Derek
17:26I've just been to Jessica's dancing display
17:28And I suddenly thought
17:31Oh my gosh, what a blunder
17:32Hello, Derek
17:34Kim
17:35Kim
17:36Well, I knew he was going to ring you, but I didn't
17:38Oh, Kim, oh
17:40I'm so sorry, if I'd known, I'd never have barged in
17:42There's no problem, as long as you barge right out again
17:45Yeah, but first, look, I had this really great idea
17:48When I saw all these little girls dancing about on the stage
17:51Do you know, sometimes I worry about you, Derek
17:54No, for the Darcy promotion
17:57They're all amateurs, so we can get them dirt cheap
17:59You mean we can exploit them?
18:01Absolutely
18:02We can dress them up as individual chocolates
18:04You know, the sort of thing
18:07Hello, I'm Cherry Cup
18:09And I'm Almond Whip
18:11And I'm
18:12Nutties of Fruitcake
18:13No
18:14No
18:16Now, Derek, I still think I prefer your farmyard idea
18:20What farmyard idea?
18:22Well, we get these dancers in welly boots
18:24Hopping about in sheep's dip and horse manure
18:26Oh, what have sheep's dip and horse manure got to do with chocolates?
18:29Have you tasted the chocolates?
18:31I think this new idea's much better, don't you, Kim?
18:33Yes, well, you can discuss it another time
18:35That's if I can persuade Kim to take on the designing job
18:37If there's anything I can say that might help
18:39How about goodnight, Kim?
18:40Goodnight, Kim
18:41Goodnight, Derek
18:42Goodnight, Kim
18:44Goodnight, Derek
18:45Goodnight, animal
18:54Did you mean that about the job?
18:57Well, yes, yes
18:58Of course I did
18:59But before we get on to that
19:01There's something else I'd like to say to you
19:03Something I sort of couldn't say on the phone
19:05So do I
19:06Please, I've started, so I'll finish
19:09Now, three years ago
19:11I treated you very badly
19:13And I'm very sorry for that
19:15But I just felt that I was getting in a bit, you know, a bit too deep
19:19And, well, that's why I sort of slammed the door on your face
19:22But you didn't
19:23Oh, please, please, please
19:24And I think it was really because
19:28Well, I was falling in love with you
19:31And, well, I wasn't ready for that
19:34But now tonight, seeing you with Sam together, you know
19:39I've suddenly sort of realised how wrong I was
19:41Oh, Simon
19:43Very, very wrong
19:44I, I just don't know how to say it
19:48Just say it
19:50Don't be afraid, just say it
19:52Well, Simon
19:53Yeah?
19:54I'm afraid you're still wrong
19:56Hmm?
19:57You didn't drop me
19:58It's very nice of you to say so
20:00But I did
20:01But you didn't
20:02Because I dropped you
20:05What?
20:06I got tired of competing
20:08With who?
20:09Ruth
20:10My wife?
20:11Well, she was still the yardstick for everything I did
20:14I mean, I don't mind competing with another woman
20:16But when you're fighting a memory, the going gets too tough
20:20Well, you may think you slammed the door
20:22But believe me, I was on the other side pulling it shut
20:25Well, that's why I couldn't face you this morning
20:27I felt I'd treated you so badly
20:29No, no, no, but I, you see, I've been going around telling everybody
20:32I've been going around telling everybody how horrible I was to you
20:36No, come on, think of all the times I stood you up
20:38But you didn't
20:39I did
20:40You couldn't have done because I didn't show up either
20:45What, you mean I've, I've been, I've been feeling guilty for all these years for nothing?
20:49If it's any consolation, I took a long time to get over you too
20:53Did you really?
20:54A long, long time
20:57And I suppose you're completely sort of, um, how can I put it?
21:03You're completely sort of, um, recovered, are you?
21:07I hope I am
21:09And there's no sort of chance of a sort of slight relapse?
21:14I'd be crazy even to think of it
21:16Well, sometimes it doesn't do any harm to be a bit crazy now and then
21:20It does if you're getting married next month
21:22I know, but I'm not getting...
21:26You're getting married?
21:27To the frightful blimp in a business suit
21:30You're marrying Goofy?
21:31Geoffrey
21:32Sorry, yeah, Geoffrey, Geoffrey
21:34Since you first saw him, he's lost a lot of weight
21:37And gained a vast amount of money
21:39And he hasn't been married before, so I've no memories to compete with
21:45I've come to say goodnight
21:46Goodnight, Sam
21:47Oh, and I think congratulations are in order
21:49Kim's getting married
21:51God, you work fast
21:53No, no, no, no, not me
21:55To a very slim, very rich merchant banker
21:58Oh, congratulations
22:00When's the wedding?
22:01Listen, I think you can talk to Kim another time
22:03Because she will be working with us on the Darcy Chox promotion
22:05So, er, bed-byes, OK?
22:07Um, Dad
22:08Hmm?
22:09Can I have a quick word with you? Outside
22:12Won't be long
22:18Yeah?
22:19Are you sorry she's getting married?
22:21Well, I'd be stupid and arrogant
22:23If I thought we could just sort of pick up from where we left off
22:26It just so happens occasionally I am stupid and arrogant
22:30Well, if it's any help
22:32I rescued your old address book from the waste bin
22:36Thanks, kid
22:37But, er
22:39I don't need that no more
22:42As they shamed him for Bagel Bugle
22:45Them was then
22:46And I was now
22:47You know what I mean, Sam?
22:49That's really good, Dad
22:51You sound just like him
22:53Thank you
22:54Not many people can do Ronald Reagan
22:56Dad!
23:26Dad!
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