Cartman is the friend we never want. Welcome to WatchMojo and today we’re counting down our picks for the worst, terrible and down right despicable actions done by Eric Cartman. Since plot points will be discussed, a spoiler alert is in effect.
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00:00Welcome to WatchMojo, and today we're counting down our picks for the worst, terrible, and
00:10downright despicable actions done by Eric Cartman.
00:14Since plot points will be discussed, a spoiler alert is in effect.
00:25Number 30.
00:26Jimmy Stole Jimmy's Joke Jimmy comes up with a great joke involving
00:30fish sticks while Cartman was over.
00:40The joke is so good it takes the nation by storm, eventually making its way onto the
00:45late night talk shows.
00:48Cartman decides to patent it, believing that he and Jimmy should be paid for the work they
00:52did.
00:53However, Cartman didn't really do anything other than lay on the couch and eat chips.
00:58When Jimmy points this out, Cartman gaslights him into thinking they're partners and exaggerates
01:03his contributions to the joke.
01:06It's sad to see Jimmy distraught by Cartman taking credit for something he didn't do.
01:20Number 29.
01:22He Ate All The KFC Skins The boys are excited to eat some KFC.
01:31When Stan's mom arrives with the Kentucky Fried Goods stuff, she tells them to unload
01:36the rest of the groceries before they can dig in.
01:38Uncharacteristically, Cartman points out that if they all work together, they can get the
01:43job done faster.
01:45This was just a ploy so that he could eat all the chicken skins.
01:49When Kyle, Stan and Kenny return, they're understandably upset.
01:53It was an incredibly selfish act made worse by his deceit.
02:03It proves to be the last straw for them and they decide to ignore Cartman, who goes on
02:07to think he died and he's a wandering soul.
02:11Number 28.
02:12He Aided In The Beaverton Flood Stan and Cartman play in a boat when Cartman
02:17tells Stan to drive it around the marina.
02:20Cartman insists that the boat belongs to his Uncle Roy and that he'll take full responsibility
02:25if anything should happen.
02:33Of course, Stan recklessly drives the boat around and crashes it into a beaver dam.
02:38Not only is the boat destroyed and the dam damaged, but Cartman reveals that he doesn't
02:43have an uncle.
02:44He tells Stan to act like they were never there.
02:48Stan later finds out that the accident caused the town of Beaverton to flood, ruining people's
02:53lives.
02:54He's horrified about what happened, but Cartman is as callous as ever, saying it's
02:59the town's residents' fault for not getting out in time.
03:16Number 27.
03:17He Exploited His Yelp Status Yelp can be a useful tool for deciding where
03:22to go to eat.
03:23For Eric Cartman, it's a tool to flex his power and use it to denigrate local restaurant
03:28owners.
03:42He mercilessly threatens to give one-star reviews if he doesn't get his way.
03:46When the restaurant owners fight back and ban Yelpers from their establishments, Cartman
03:52fellow Yelpers to fight back and literal war breaks out between the two sides.
04:06The lesson here is to not give Cartman any sense of authority because he'll take it
04:10to the extreme, even if it's just within the realm of food criticism.
04:14Number 26.
04:16He Used Stem Cells To Create Shakey's Pizza Cartman comes across a bunch of stem cells
04:22and decides he's going to cash in big time.
04:23He tries to bring Stan, Kyle, and Kenny in on his discovery, but they outright reject
04:29him.
04:37He calls around to various universities and medical research companies to sell the stem
04:41cells and eventually finds a place.
04:44He discovers that research using stem cells has been banned.
04:48At the same time, Kenny is diagnosed with a terminal illness, so Cartman petitions Congress
04:53to reverse the ban.
04:55When it seems like Cartman is going to use the stem cells to cure Kenny, he instead uses
05:00them to create a Shakey's Pizza.
05:02It's incredibly cold-hearted and we understand Kyle's anger toward Cartman.
05:12Number 25.
05:14He Became A Somalian Pirate After thinking pirates are back in force,
05:18fashion, and with the promise of adventure and treasure on the seas, Cartman convinces
05:23a small group of friends to move to Somalia to escape homework, rules, and chores.
05:40Once in Somalia, they join with locals and begin raiding ships for treasure.
05:45As Butters and Ike come to learn, being a pirate isn't about fun and adventure.
05:49Most are forced into this way of life due to the extremely poor economic conditions
05:54and are trying to survive.
05:56Eventually Cartman's crew wants to go back home when they realize life back in South
06:00Park wasn't so bad.
06:11He refuses to acknowledge anything beyond his fantasy and would have stayed if the Somali
06:16pirates weren't killed by U.S. soldiers.
06:19Number 24.
06:20He Forced Butters To Gain And Lose Weight There was a time when Jared Fogle was known
06:26for having lost weight eating Subway sandwiches.
06:29When visiting South Park, the boys find out that Jared lost weight with the help of aids
06:33and limiting what he ate at Subway.
06:44Cartman comes up with a plan to do the same thing but have City Walk sponsor them.
06:48He forces Butters to gain weight in order to claim losing it on a City Walk diet.
06:53Getting Butters skinny again proves difficult and the boys resort to DIY liposuction.
07:02Cartman, along with Stan and Kyle, completely disregard Butters health and safety for the
07:08sake of gaining fame and fortune.
07:10Number 23.
07:12He Shot Tolkien Cartman is actually unusually nice to Tolkien
07:16which arouses everyone's suspicions.
07:29Cartman is rarely altruistic so we shouldn't be surprised to find out he thinks that Tolkien,
07:34along with other black folk, will rampage as the result of George Zimmerman being acquitted
07:40for the shooting of Trayvon Martin.
07:42Convinced that the only way to stop this from happening, Cartman ends up shooting Tolkien
07:47claiming that he was justified as he was standing his ground.
07:56Not only do we see his racism and bigotry on full display, but his calm demeanour is
08:01just frightening.
08:03Thankfully, Tolkien survives.
08:05Number 22.
08:06He Got Everyone To Report Their Parents Kyle isn't allowed to go to a concert and
08:12when he completes a list of chores given to him in exchange for being able to go, they
08:16still deny him.
08:25While venting his frustration to Cartman and Stan, Cartman suggests that the police
08:29can take his parents away if he says he was touched in a bad way.
08:34Sure enough, Kyle's parents are arrested and the boys use the opportunity to do things
08:38they couldn't before.
08:39Soon they start calling the cops to have their parents taken away and South Park is devoid
08:44of adults.
08:45To be fair, Cartman probably didn't know exactly the full impact of the
08:56accusations the kids were throwing around, but even still, it's grossly irresponsible.
09:01Number 21.
09:02He Ruined Peace In The Middle East Apparently in Jewish, Islamic and Christian
09:08tradition, there's a prophecy that the appearance of a ginger cow will bring about the end.
09:14At first, the followers of each group think it refers to the destruction of the world
09:18but realize it's the end of inter-religious conflict.
09:29Kyle knows that Cartman faked the cow but doesn't say anything because he wants to
09:34maintain the peace that's been achieved.
09:36Of course, Cartman uses that fact against Kyle by constantly humiliating him.
09:41Stan accidentally jeopardizes everything when claiming the cow was a miracle.
09:46In the prophecy called for a fat kid to have decorated it, Cartman has the chance to preserve
09:50the peace but decides against it.
09:52It should come as no surprise that he's unfazed by his decision.
10:06Number 20.
10:07He Pretended To Be Psychic Have you ever seen those old clips that show
10:11people trying to fly with giant wings attached to their arms?
10:23Cartman tried the same thing and landed himself in the hospital.
10:26The police mistake his insight for being psychic and from there, Eric puts on a show.
10:32Cartman spends the rest of the episode using food fantasies as fake psychic predictions
10:37to garner favor and fame with law enforcement.
10:46It isn't the worst thing he's ever done but it does illustrate just how badly he wants
10:51to feel far more important than he really is.
10:54Through his selfishness, innocent people are arrested while the guilty roam free.
11:06Number 19.
11:07He Tormented A Nanny Cesar Millan is a highly respected dog trainer
11:12who just so happens to get a job helping Cartman's mom tame her son.
11:20Millan's success with Eric comes from treating him in the same fashion as he does his canine
11:25customers.
11:27Leanne only turns to him after Nanny 911 and Super Nanny fail miserably to curtail Cartman's
11:33behavior.
11:45We've always known that Eric isn't keen on any kind of discipline.
11:50But spitting on someone or driving them into a mental institution brings his neurotic behavior
11:55to a whole new level.
11:57It's unfortunate Millan's treatment didn't last very long.
12:09Number 18.
12:10He Drank Kenny's Ashes One of the running gags in season 6 was that
12:14Kenny's soul was stuck inside of Cartman.
12:17After seemingly dying for good near the end of season 5, we learn later that he had been
12:22cremated.
12:29Cartman mistakenly thinks Kenny's ashes are chocolate milk powder and mixes them into
12:34a drink.
12:35Unlike many of the other entries on this list, consuming Kenny may have been horrific.
12:41But at least it wasn't intentional.
12:47Given the fact that far more outrageous things have been done in the real world, it's at
12:51least not as farfetched as other things on this list.
13:01Number 17.
13:02He Created a Church to Con People Out of Money Early in the show's run, South Park did
13:09a two-part episode focusing on how religious leaders can use fear to coerce young people
13:14into church.
13:23Scared of ending up in hell, Cartman appears to start his own church to try and help his
13:28fellow classmates.
13:30All is not as it seems, however.
13:32After seeing a televangelist solicit money from his parishioners, Cartman starts asking
13:36his followers to give a dollar every time they attend.
13:49It's all one giant scam as we see Cartman literally rolling around in his money.
13:54Forever obsessed with finding cash, we learn just how far he'll go to snag one more greenback.
14:05Number 16.
14:08His PlayStation Plot If there's one thing we've learned about
14:12Cartman over the years, it's that he's undeniably selfish.
14:22This is on full display when Kenny gets his hands on a PlayStation Portable, which drives
14:27Cartman to show his true colors.
14:29After Kenny ends up in a coma, Cartman insists the game system should go to him.
14:34In a nod to the Terry Schiavo case, Cartman pretends to want to ease Kenny's suffering
14:43by taking him off of life support after being hit by an ice cream truck.
14:47Cartman has no interest in helping Kenny.
14:50All he wants is the video game machine, and we learn quickly he's willing to literally
14:55kill for it.
14:57Number 15.
15:07He Mistreated a Little Person When this episode comes up in conversation,
15:11it's usually about Randy's terrible guess on Wheel of Fortune.
15:20But there's a whole side plot around Cartman's treatment of a sensitivity spokesperson named
15:25As a little person, Cartman stops at nothing to poke fun at Nelson's disability.
15:37Laughing at the way he speaks, walks and interacts, Cartman never once thinks of the consequences
15:42of what he's saying.
15:44Even when Nelson gets the kids to call Eric fat, he still doesn't see the irony in his
15:49behavior.
15:50They ultimately end up in a playground brawl, to which Cartman still finds himself laughing
15:54at all of it.
16:00Number 14.
16:02He Locked Butters in a Bomb Shelter It's Kyle's birthday and for his party, he's
16:07taking his friends to the famed Casa Bonita restaurant.
16:10Being Cartman's favorite, he's immediately psyched to be going, only to have his dreams
16:14shattered when Kyle tells him Butters is coming instead.
16:24Cartman proceeds to trap Butters in a bomb shelter, all so he'll miss the party and
16:28Kyle will bring Cartman instead.
16:38It's yet another prime example of how Eric's selfish behavior is truly dangerous to those
16:42around him.
16:43All he's concerned about is getting what he wants, and doing anything within his power
16:48to make that happen.
17:01Number 13.
17:02His False Claims About His Mother After pretending to have an iPad, Cartman is
17:07dismayed when his mother refuses to buy him a brand new one.
17:13Now feeling that his mom has screwed him over, he proceeds to publicly shame her in
17:18the worst possible way.
17:20His use of colorful language to describe her actions immediately evokes the wrong kind
17:24of reaction from those around him.
17:26Appearing on Dr. Phil, he uses the same choice of words, which to everyone else implies he
17:32was mistreated in some fashion.
17:38The worst part is that he clearly knows what people think he's talking about, and continues
17:43to proliferate a false narrative about what has happened.
17:52Number 12.
17:53He Refused To Donate His Kidney To Kyle $10 million was his price tag.
18:02Kyle needed a kidney and Cartman was the only compatible donor.
18:06Even with as much disdain as Eric has shown Kyle, you would have thought he'd have a
18:11little bit of compassion for the boy.
18:13Instead, he was content to see Kyle suffer and almost die as a result of his kidney difficulties.
18:19Although Cartman's true dark side wouldn't emerge for another season, this was definitely
18:23a stepping stone in that direction.
18:33It's made worse when you see how far Stan is willing to go to save his friend.
18:38Number 11.
18:42He Rigged The Election Cartman is hired by the Chinese to rig the
18:462012 election so Obama can force Disney to give Star Wars to them.
18:55Of course, Eric doesn't do anything unless there's something in it for him.
19:00His demands are simple, he wants to play Luke's son in a future movie.
19:12Throughout the episode, it's made clear that Cartman could care less about democracy
19:16and the right to vote.
19:17He's a 9-year-old kid who's focused entirely on getting what he wants.
19:22We're treated to a journey that shows how far he's willing to go to get whatever he's
19:27Number 10.
19:33He Went On A Rampage With Cthulhu Cartman often sees himself as the hero.
19:47In the case of Coon and Friends, he literally tries to make himself into one as the titular
19:52character.
19:54Unfortunately, the rest of the kids disagree with him and go off to form their own superhero
19:58club.
19:59Most children his age would get mad and then eventually get over it.
20:03But not Eric Cartman.
20:04Instead, he summons the fictional character of Cthulhu and goes on a killing rampage,
20:16all to get back at his friends for being mean.
20:18Sure, there's plenty of comedy to be found in the bits, but it certainly goes far beyond
20:23any kind of revenge the average person would take.
20:34Number 9.
20:35He Started A Ginger Uprising No matter how you spin someone like Cartman,
20:40there's no escaping the fact that he's likely one of the most hate-filled characters
20:46We've all seen him.
20:47On the playground, at the store, walking on the streets.
20:49They creep us out and make us feel sick to our stomachs.
20:52I'm talking, of course, about ginger kids.
20:54We've seen him exude distaste for various groups, and in this case, children with red
20:59hair.
21:00After being pranked by Kyle, Cartman appears to have become a ginger himself.
21:13It all backfires when he incites the other gingers around him to exterminate anyone who
21:18isn't as they are.
21:20Giant cages and lava pits aside, it's almost unfathomable how Cartman seems to turn on
21:26a dime in favour of killing people just because he feels he's been wrong.
21:36It illustrates just how disturbed he really is.
21:39Number 8.
21:40He Made Inappropriate Videos A whole lot could be said about those who
21:44take advantage of others who may not know any better.
21:57In this season 15 episode, Cartman somehow manages to find a way to exploit others for
22:02his own personal gains.
22:06Knowing full well these kids have been born into substance use, he purposely pits them
22:12against each other all in the name of profit.
22:15What's even worse is that he somehow manages to convince Kyle, one of the straight shooters
22:19on the show, that what he's doing is okay.
22:28Exploitation of any kind is awful, but it's far worse considering the ages of his victims.
22:34At least, in the end, Cartman does lose out to a smarter businessman.
22:39Number 7.
22:40He Plowed Through Hippies If there's one thing Cartman hates more than
22:43Kyle, it's hippies.
22:52Never was this more apparent than in season 9's Die Hippie Die.
22:56The town becomes overrun with the pot-smoking, drum-circle-pounding freeloaders to which
23:01Cartman isn't having any of it.
23:10Sure they do overtake the town and frustrate the locals, but that certainly isn't a reason
23:15to kill them off.
23:16With a plan to drive them out of town with death metal, we see the extent Cartman is
23:20willing to go to rid himself of their presence.
23:24His giant drill machine plows through crowds like they're nothing more than a field of
23:28brass.
23:34Number 6.
23:35He Acted Inappropriately Towards Butters While He Slept
23:39As a kid, there are things you can get away with that would never be tolerated in the
23:43adult world.
23:49It's the sheer innocence and naivety of being young that offers a bit of protection we lose
23:54over the years.
23:55Still though, Cartman pushes the boundaries of acceptability when it comes to other kids.
24:06Somewhere in Eric's head, he thinks that inappropriate photos he's taken of Butters
24:11in his sleep are somehow funny.
24:13He gets a laugh out of putting Butters in compromising positions and has no clue how
24:17highly offensive and violating it really is.
24:20It's played out in a comedic fashion but clearly shows us how warped Cartman's mind
24:25really is.
24:36Number 5.
24:38He Faked Having Tourette's Syndrome Upon learning of what Tourette's Syndrome
24:42is, Cartman finds a way to make use of the illness to his advantage.
24:54He spends most of this episode yelling and screaming out terrible hate speech, all while
24:59using his fake condition as an excuse.
25:01As offensive as Cartman can be, the cloak of his so-called illness gives him a golden
25:06ticket to get away with vocal atrocities he'd never otherwise be able to pull off.
25:11He never once considers the true weight of having such a condition.
25:21That is until his own fakery backfires and he starts spouting off random truths.
25:32It's one of the few times his sinister plans fall apart and he surprisingly seems happy
25:36about it.
25:37Number 4.
25:38He Became The New Fuhrer For as long as the show has been on the air,
25:43audiences have seen Cartman direct plenty of negativity towards the Jewish faith.
25:58Never was this more evident than after Cartman saw The Passion of the Christ.
26:02He rallied lovers of the movie together under the premise of a fan club.
26:06In reality, Eric's intentions are far more dire than simply fanboying out over a movie.
26:15Dressed as Hitler, he leads crowds of people into chants of anti-Semitism all while reveling
26:21in their adoration.
26:22It's a scary reminder of our own history, and even more disturbing to see it coming
26:28Number 3.
26:38He Faked His Way Into The Special Olympics Cartman learns that the winner of the Special
26:43Olympics is awarded a $1,000 cash prize.
26:50Ever obsessed with acquiring the mighty dollar, he thinks he can simply fake a disability
26:55to gain admittance to the Games.
26:57We are then treated to a montage showing how he's taking all the stereotypes of disabilities
27:02and turning them into something to make money.
27:12It never occurs to Eric that his lack of a disability is a gift that he should be thankful
27:17for.
27:18Cartman has no clue about the struggles of the people he's imitating and how the Special
27:22Olympics celebrates their achievements.
27:24It's therefore a gift of karma when we see him fail spectacularly.
27:34Number 2.
27:35He Gave Kyle HIV After hearing that Cartman has accidentally
27:39contracted HIV, Kyle bursts out into uncontrollable laughter.
27:53Much like the audience, he sees Eric's new condition as a taste of karma given the
27:58terrible things he's done over the years.
28:00Who wouldn't want to see someone get a taste of their own medicine after a while?
28:04Eric Cartman.
28:05That's who.
28:06Enraged by Kyle's reaction, he purposely infects him with HIV, proving Cartman is nothing
28:11more than a selfish child with rage control issues.
28:19It's a terribly spiteful act that further illustrates the lengths Cartman is willing
28:23to go to to inflict misery into the lives of others.
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28:48Number 1.
28:49Scott's Revenge Went Too Far How far would you go to get back at your
28:54worst enemy?
28:55If you're Eric Cartman, you apparently go all in.
29:01Scott Tenorman is the quintessential tormentor that seems to have the upper hand against
29:06Eric for much of this season 5 episode.
29:09But it's the final minutes that turn the tide of Cartman's sadistic behavior.
29:19We always knew he was mean, but resorting to murder and cannibalism goes far beyond
29:25anything audiences ever expected.
29:27Yet even after all is said and done, seeing Cartman drink the tears of a distraught Scott
29:33just pushes the whole thing even further.
29:35It's here Cartman went from being just a mean kid to a full-blown sociopath.
29:50What do you think is the worst thing Eric Cartman has done?
29:54Let us know in the comments!