Kathy Buckley the “Deaf comedian”, jokes her way to sharing her perspective on life, self-love and forgiveness.
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00:00It's crazy. Yes, it's true. I am hearing impaired. No, I am not deaf. I just don't listen for shit.
00:11Get a load of this. I paid $4,000 for my hearing aids, and I'm thinking for another $1,000, I could have had that boob job.
00:20When I was born, I was born, I was H-. Then a couple years later, I developed spinal meningitis.
00:25Doctors told my family, quote, that I would be a slow learner.
00:28And I was in a school for retardation for two years before they found out it was just a hearing loss.
00:33And they called me slow.
00:37My hearing impairment is not my handicap. Being sexually frustrated. Now, there's a handicap.
00:46I've not had a date in three and a half years. And I don't know if it's because I haven't heard the phone ring or what.
00:51But I, too, would like to hear what my date says to me at night. But I just can't hear for shit in the dark.
00:59I travel all the time. And I meet some of the most extraordinary people in the world that I get to run into.
01:05I was in Chattanooga, Tennessee. Now, sometimes I'm still amazed at the racism that can go on in this country.
01:11I was at a hotel called the Choo Choo. The hotel clerk hit the bell for my bellhop to come and get my bags.
01:18My bellhop was a skinny little black man, 70, 80-something years old, coming up to the desk.
01:27He was a beautiful old soul. And every time I went down to the lobby, I'd see John.
01:31Hey, John, how you doing, John? I'm grabbing him, I'm hugging him, I'm kissing him all over his little face.
01:35He's like, get the white woman off of me!
01:40On the third day, John looked at me square in the eye and goes, ma'am, you know I'm black.
01:48Okay, John, when did this happen?
01:55I said, does it hurt?
01:59Do you know what he said to me?
02:02Sometimes.
02:04He goes, what about you, ma'am? I go, what do you mean, me?
02:07He goes, being deaf and all. He goes, does it hurt?
02:13Yeah, John. Sometimes, honey.
02:15He goes, ma'am, you can't be kissing on me like that. Down here, people are going to be talking at you.
02:20I go, that's okay, John. I'm deaf. I ain't going to hear a damn thing they say.
02:30All anybody ever wants out of life is to be treated with respect.
02:33But in order to be treated with respect, you have to be able to give it.
02:36And in order to give it, you have to have it for yourself, first and foremost.
02:40Otherwise, you don't have the gift to share.
02:46Now, I want you to take your right hand and place it on your heart.
02:56Where your hand is right now, where your heart is right now, that's yours.
03:04That is yours to love, honor, and respect.
03:07This is yours. There's only one of these.
03:11You're it. You're it.
03:14This is for you to love, honor, and respect.
03:17And when I say love, I don't mean get in front of the mirror and start kissing yourself.
03:23How many in this room right now have to forgive somebody?
03:26Put it up. I want to see it.
03:29How many have to forgive yourselves?
03:32Okay, put your hands down.
03:36My dad was molesting me when I was young.
03:41I confronted my dad. He denied it.
03:45At first, I was like, did I make this up?
03:50But the second time I confronted him, he admitted it.
03:53The third time I confronted him, he called me up and said,
03:57Hey, Kathy, I'm in an institution. I tried to commit suicide.
04:00They said I have to ask people to forgive me.
04:03And I thought I did in my own little way, but I didn't.
04:07But I didn't.
04:10And I yelled in the phone, No!
04:14So I canceled my job in Chicago.
04:16Only job I ever canceled. Flew home.
04:18Went into the doctor's office and looked at my dad and said,
04:21What the hell were you thinking?
04:23Why did you say the things you said when you were touching me?
04:26What were you looking?
04:27And the doctor said, You can't talk to him like that. He's suicidal.
04:30I said, That's okay. I'll kill him and save him the trouble.
04:37I got mad. I got mad at society.
04:40I got mad at people.
04:42And you know what I did? I gave it all back.
04:45If you have to forgive somebody,
04:47what's the first thing that's presented to you in your life?
04:50Anger, resentment, pain, not trusting, feeling ugly.
04:54All these negative words will come upon and they become your life.
04:57That is your other people's shit you're carrying.
05:00It's not yours.
05:08That's how you love yourself.
05:10You take all the negative things that are in your life,
05:12you give it back to somebody.
05:14There's only one power no one can ever take from you.
05:18One.
05:19And that is the power to forgive.
05:22And you use that power to love, respect, and honor yourself.
05:26You are the gift that has been put on this universe.
05:30I have no regrets.
05:33I get to love unconditionally to the point where you can forgive.
05:37To forget.
05:39That's what you want for you.
05:46I got one shot at this gift called life.
05:49Don't trash it.
05:51Don't throw it away.
05:53Share it.