We'd give these Broadway moments the vaudeville hook. Welcome to MsMojo, and today we’re counting down our picks for most inexcusable events that have ever befallen the musical stage.
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00:00I hit the letter and I raced to a place, Screamed I'll cut you in the face, she said no, I said...
00:06Welcome to Ms. Mojo, and today we're counting down our picks for the most inexcusable events
00:12that have ever befallen the musical stage. We're also expanding our scope beyond productions that
00:17were on Broadway proper. Beware of spoilers.
00:20You want me back only to pick up your slippers and put up with your tempers and fetch and carry for you.
00:25I didn't say I wanted you back at all.
00:2710. Poor Judd is Dead, Oklahoma
00:31I'll gather round his coffin now and cry.
00:39When we first meet Curly in Oklahoma, he seems like a great guy. He's handsome,
00:43played by the likes of Hugh Jackman, you've gotta be, and he has a genial spirit. He might
00:48be a bit of a cocky flirt when it comes to Laurie, but he seems to mean well.
00:52Only she talked so mean to me a while back, Aunt Ella, I'm a good man not to take her.
00:57Ain't said I was going.
01:00Ain't asked you.
01:02But then we arrive at the song Poor Judd is Dead. Curly tries to convince Judd,
01:06the other suitor vying for Laurie's attention, that maybe the world would be better off if he
01:11weren't alive. What women ever took a shine of me? Why, lots of women. Only they never come
01:18right out and tell you how they feel, unless you die first.
01:21You heard that right. Curly spends an entire song claiming Judd would be more appreciated
01:25by others if he were out of the picture. It's a shockingly great character revelation for Curly,
01:30but pretty darn unforgivable.
01:32Poor Judd is dead, a candle lights his head. He's laying in a coffin made of wood.
01:45Number 9. Christine's Death, Love Never Dies.
01:59We could justify the entirety of Love Never Dies being an entry. This musical was so bad
02:04that even Andrew Lloyd Webber himself couldn't keep the negative press at bay.
02:08My Christine.
02:10Your Christine. I was yours one brief night long ago.
02:18But we'll try to keep our scope narrow and focus on the death of Christine Daae.
02:23The story takes place a decade after the events of The Phantom of the Opera,
02:26and sees her married to Raoul with a kid named Gustave. Throughout the musical,
02:30she has almost no agency at all, less than in the original if you can believe it.
02:35Raoul, please.
02:36Please what?
02:36Nothing.
02:38Her barely there storyline ends in an untimely death by firearm. The show is nonsensical at best,
02:45but the decision to kill off the main character in such a fashion is ludicrous.
02:56Number 8. Evan's Lie, Dear Evan Hansen.
02:59He looks around and says to me,
03:02there's nowhere else I'd rather be, and I say, me too.
03:06Zoe might forgive Evan at the end of Dear Evan Hansen, but for us,
03:09it's going to take a little more convincing. This incredibly popular musical chronicles the
03:14story of Evan Hansen, an anxiety-ridden teen who lies about being best friends with a classmate
03:19Connor, who took his own life. His lie starts off small enough, but as the show goes on,
03:24it's impossible to justify. He becomes closer with the classmate's family,
03:28even going so far as to date Connor's sister Zoe.
03:31He thought you looked really pretty. It looked pretty cool when you put indigo
03:39streaks in your hair.
03:41He did?
03:42When everything comes crashing down, Evan rightly gets a little comeuppance,
03:46but if we had our way, everyone would be a lot less quick to forgive this whole situation.
03:51How could you do this?
03:52I guess I thought I could be part of this.
03:55I never had this kind of thing before.
04:00Number 7. The Dogfight.
04:02Dogfight.
04:13Imagine how you'd feel before a first date. Excited?
04:16Probably a little nervous, butterflies going haywire.
04:19Now imagine you learn that the other person only asked you out because they found you ugly.
04:24Isn't it funny you believe that it was real?
04:33Here, you have the plot of Dogfight. In the show, three Marines decide to hold the titular
04:37event on the eve before they ship out. The idea is straightforward. Whoever can swing
04:42the least attractive date wins cash. Eddie, our main character, definitely evolves throughout
04:47and isn't nearly as bad as his friends.
04:49This is some part of your stupid dogfight. I swear I'll kill you.
04:53Rose, the woman he asks out, eventually finds it in her heart to forgive him.
04:58But alas, we think we will just stay mad on her behalf.
05:08Number 6. Angel's Death.
05:10Rent.
05:10It was bad for me. Was it bad for you?
05:13It's over.
05:14It's over.
05:15It's over.
05:16It's over.
05:20Some plot points you can't forgive because they don't make sense, or they're mean,
05:24or what have you. But some just make you unbearably sad. This is the case with Angel's
05:29death in Rent. From the moment we meet Angel, it's impossible to not be taken in by her effervescent
05:34charm. She and Collins quickly fall in love, bonding over their HIV-positive status.
05:39Leave in my house, I'll be your shelter. Just pay me back with one thousand kisses.
05:48Unfortunately, their relationship is cut short by her untimely passing. When Angel passes away,
05:53the gang of friends hold a funeral for her and perform I'll Cover You reprise.
06:10We dare anyone to make it through this scene without bawling their eyes out.
06:14Jonathan Larson, we get it, but we will never forgive you.
06:18Number five. Higgins and Eliza. My Fair Lady.
06:22You see, Mrs. Higgins, apart from the things one can pick up,
06:26the difference between a lady and a flower girl is not how she behaves, but how she is treated.
06:31We love watching Rex Harrison sing, or really speak. I've grown accustomed to her face as
06:35much as the next person. But something about the end of My Fair Lady just has never sat right with us.
06:42Henry Higgins makes a bet that he can teach Eliza Doolittle to speak like a lady.
07:00He achieves his goal, but not without being a total jerk to her the entire time.
07:11I think she's got it. Despite Higgins's foolery, the two develop feelings for each other.
07:16He can't get past his own hang-ups long enough to be a kind person towards Eliza.
07:20I shall miss you, Eliza. I have learned something from your idiotic notions.
07:25I confess that humbly and gratefully.
07:28And yet she still comes back to him in the end. We've never understood it,
07:32especially with Freddie Einsford Hill standing right there.
07:35Number four. Jonathan Price's casting. Miss Saigon.
07:42It's time we all entertained my American dreams.
07:47There's no doubt that Miss Saigon is one of the most epic productions to ever hit the stage.
07:52But over the years, the show has become mired in controversy due to its misogynist and racist
07:57elements. And of course, for its casting. Particularly that of Jonathan Price as the
08:01engineer. They're using the coincidence of Jonathan Price and Miss Saigon going to Broadway
08:08to apply their new policies, try them out on him. And that we consider to be offensive, frankly.
08:15In the show, the engineer is the French-Vietnamese owner of the establishment where Kim works.
08:20Price, who originated the role on the West End, is a full-on white man.
08:24Prosthetics. It's a light, sort of a very light latex, which is a false lid.
08:29I'd hate that. Does it not irritate? And I'd rather be without them.
08:33Despite this, he won both an Olivier and a Tony Award for his portrayal.
08:371989 wasn't that long ago. We can't believe this was allowed to happen.
08:41I'm shocked. I still am kind of numb about it really.
08:46It's a decision we didn't expect them to make.
08:48Number three. Hamilton's infidelity. Hamilton.
08:51I said, well, I should head back home. She turned red. She led me to a bed,
08:56let her neck spread and said, hey, hey. That's when I began to pray,
09:03Lord, show me how to say no to this. Do you hear all those voices shouting
09:09no throughout Say No To This? And her mouth is on mine, and I don't say no.
09:14No, no, say no to this. No, no, say no to this. No, no.
09:21That's us as we watch Alexander Hamilton cheat on his lovely and adoring wife.
09:25It may be historically accurate, but that doesn't mean it's forgivable.
09:29Not only does Hamilton cheat on Eliza, but he keeps it a secret from her for quite some time.
09:34And not only does he keep it a secret, but he then publishes his infidelity
09:38in a public document in order to save face for something else entirely.
09:42My real crime is an amorous connection with his wife
09:45for a considerable time with his knowing consent.
09:50These are the actions of an unwell man. Obviously, the two are brought back together
09:54through tragic events, but this is a transgression we will not forget.
09:58Number two. Judas' betrayal. Godspell.
10:05To say this is not okay would be an understatement.
10:08One of you among us will betray me.
10:10If you've read the Bible, or, you know, haven't been living under a rock,
10:14you probably know that Judas betrayed Jesus and that action led to his crucifixion.
10:19Well, the same inexcusable events occur in Godspell,
10:22which premiered off-Broadway in 1971, eventually going to Broadway five years later.
10:28They also occur in the 1971 musical Jesus Christ Superstar.
10:32These guys loved writing about Jesus, and we get it.
10:34Judas' decision is the ultimate act of betrayal,
10:37and it's rife with dramatic tension.
10:39As we understand it, Jesus was a pretty forgiving guy.
10:42But if there was ever something to hold a grudge over,
10:45it was his betrayal.
10:46And if you've read the Bible, you probably know that Judas betrayed Jesus
10:50and that action led to his crucifixion.
10:52Well, the same inexcusable events occur in Godspell,
10:55but if there was ever something to hold a grudge over,
10:57we'd say this is it.
11:13Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions.
11:18Orpheus Turns.
11:19Hadestown.
11:20You couldn't wait like one more minute, dude?
11:26It's you.
11:35A Little Fall of Rain.
11:36Les Miserables.
11:38Marius doesn't deserve you, Eponine.
11:56Here For You.
11:579 to 5 The Musical.
11:58Mr. Hart got what he deserved.
12:13Radames and Aida's Fate.
12:15Aida.
12:16Why did they have to die at the end?
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12:47Number 1.
12:48Anita's Assault.
12:50West Side Story.
12:55Dance with me, darling, like you danced at the gym.
13:03We never expected a musical about gang warfare to give us happy,
13:07cuddly feelings, but some emotional beats in West Side Story are almost too much to bear.
13:12The fake-out of Maria's death before Tony meets his untimely end
13:15is just about as unforgivable as it gets.
13:17Don't you touch me.
13:19I got a message for your American buddy.
13:27You tell that murderer that Maria's never going to meet him.
13:31But the Jets' attempt to assault Anita is even worse.
13:34Towards the end, Anita tries to tell Tony that Maria is going to come meet him so they
13:38can run away, but that she'll be a little late.
13:40She's apprehended by the Jets, who are struggling with the death of their leader, Riff.
13:44They proceed to act out in unspeakable ways.
13:47We're back where you came from.
13:56You think I want to stay here in a city full of ugly little animals like you?
14:01Thankfully, Anita eventually escapes,
14:04but it leaves a terrible taste in the mouth of the viewer.
14:06You dishonor yourselves.
14:11You dishonor your death.
14:13Did we miss any of your least favorite events in your favorite musicals?
14:17Let us know in the comments below.
14:23Do you agree with our picks?
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