Our Italian Husband_SD
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Short filmTranscript
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00:41:27 Dear Maria, please forgive me.
00:41:29 [Music]
00:41:31 You didn't answer my letters.
00:41:33 [Music]
00:41:34 It was Valentine's Day and I missed you so much.
00:41:37 [Music]
00:41:38 I got drunk and well, it just...
00:41:43 [Music]
00:41:46 happened.
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00:42:02 Please don't mind if some tears drop on the lips.
00:42:08 Buddy, you want something?
00:42:10 What?
00:42:11 Would you like to order food?
00:42:13 Ah, yes, coffee.
00:42:15 Coffee.
00:42:16 Yes.
00:42:17 A small one.
00:42:19 Small one?
00:42:21 [Music]
00:42:32 Hey.
00:42:33 Hey.
00:42:34 Hey.
00:42:35 [Music]
00:42:58 Are you going to be my other mommy?
00:43:00 Because I already have two daddies, you know.
00:43:03 [Music]
00:43:14 What kind of shoes does your mother send you around in, hmm?
00:43:17 [Music]
00:43:21 I'm never going to find another husband, you know.
00:43:24 Someone to massage my feet at the end of the day.
00:43:28 I'm cursed.
00:43:29 I sleep with a man once in three years and I get pregnant.
00:43:35 What do these Italian men have in their sperm?
00:43:39 Oh my.
00:43:40 Huh?
00:43:41 She needs her rest.
00:43:43 [Sniffles]
00:43:45 Can I ask you something?
00:43:47 [Clears throat]
00:43:48 Is that bastard your husband or her husband?
00:43:53 Both.
00:43:57 American men are so insensitive.
00:44:02 Far too sensitive and gay.
00:44:06 Like my first husband.
00:44:11 [Snorts]
00:44:12 Vincenzo.
00:44:15 [Snorts]
00:44:16 He was charming and sexy.
00:44:20 [Chuckles]
00:44:21 I tell you, men have good taste in clothes.
00:44:24 Cars.
00:44:27 They are so polite.
00:44:30 Well, not on a 10.
00:44:34 I was eating fine food with those incredible sausages.
00:44:40 [Slurping]
00:44:44 Their history, they've got a life of history in it.
00:44:47 They're so cultured.
00:44:48 Oh, literary.
00:44:50 They have an instinct for beauty.
00:44:53 And they're real gentlemen.
00:44:57 And they have such good manners.
00:45:00 And they're so chivalrous.
00:45:03 Have you ever been to Italy?
00:45:08 [Somber music]
00:45:12 ♪ ♪
00:45:19 ♪ ♪
00:45:26 Can I sit here?
00:45:28 Why not?
00:45:30 Time flies.
00:45:32 You can't control the future.
00:45:35 Their future, ill child insurance.
00:45:40 Better do it now.
00:45:42 You never know.
00:45:44 ♪ ♪
00:45:52 Something wrong?
00:45:54 ♪ ♪
00:46:01 ♪ ♪
00:46:08 [Sighs]
00:46:11 [Sighs]
00:46:13 [Sighs]
00:46:15 Oh, he's covered with black hair.
00:46:18 Looks just like a little mouse.
00:46:21 Okay.
00:46:23 Okay.
00:46:24 Oh.
00:46:25 Oh, thank you.
00:46:27 Thank you.
00:46:28 Oh, ooh, ooh, careful.
00:46:30 You're still very weak.
00:46:32 You need to rest for the next few days.
00:46:35 Thank you.
00:46:36 [Baby crying]
00:46:39 Do you want to hold him for a while?
00:46:42 Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi.
00:46:44 Look, look, look.
00:46:45 Looks like I have a new baby brother, too.
00:46:48 [Baby crying]
00:46:50 You know, you can leave the kids at my place if you want.
00:46:53 No, thank you.
00:46:54 We're leaving.
00:46:55 I will play knees this afternoon.
00:46:57 No, you don't.
00:46:58 See, I lost the ticket.
00:47:00 What?
00:47:01 You have to stay here now.
00:47:04 Where are they?
00:47:06 It's not my fault.
00:47:07 I put them in the backpack.
00:47:09 You always lose everything.
00:47:10 The money, everything.
00:47:12 So you think you know best?
00:47:14 What's wrong with you?
00:47:15 He's just a kid.
00:47:17 He's just like his father.
00:47:18 You bought the tickets with my money.
00:47:20 Oh, would you get me my phone, please?
00:47:22 Pass me my phone, please.
00:47:24 [Phone ringing]
00:47:26 Thank you.
00:47:28 Hello?
00:47:29 Charlene, where's the goddamn sculpture?
00:47:31 The more you hold it, the more it heats up.
00:47:34 It gets hotter and hotter and hotter.
00:47:37 I tell you, no butter can resist.
00:47:40 [Screams]
00:47:41 I've been waiting for it.
00:47:42 Jesus.
00:47:43 What's she trying to do, kill me?
00:47:45 Hello?
00:47:47 I've been waiting for her for two days.
00:47:49 I've had no luck.
00:47:51 That pisses me off.
00:47:52 You get it?
00:47:53 I hope you weren't planning on coming back and modeling for me
00:47:55 'cause you can forget all about that.
00:47:57 Okay, Charlene?
00:47:58 Oh, no, no, Paul, Paul, please don't.
00:47:59 No, no, please.
00:48:00 Um, the sculpture's on its way.
00:48:03 [Speaking Italian]
00:48:05 Yeah, a girlfriend is bringing it over right now.
00:48:08 Ciao.
00:48:09 Yeah, yeah, she's, um, she's Vincenzo's cousin,
00:48:12 and she's bringing it to you right now.
00:48:14 What?
00:48:15 Okay, bye-bye.
00:48:16 Forget about it.
00:48:17 No, please, look, he's my boss.
00:48:18 He's gonna fire me.
00:48:19 Tomorrow I owe three months back rent.
00:48:21 Please.
00:48:22 I can't, okay?
00:48:23 I have to go to the Italian consulate
00:48:25 and find new tickets.
00:48:26 But, look, he owes me the money for a whole month's salary
00:48:29 and the money for the sculpture.
00:48:31 Look, I can give you enough money
00:48:33 that you can buy your own plane tickets.
00:48:35 Please.
00:48:36 Did you have a sister, a friend, somebody?
00:48:39 No.
00:48:40 No.
00:48:41 I don't have anybody.
00:48:43 [Crying]
00:48:45 I don't have anybody.
00:48:47 [Crying]
00:48:50 I'm sorry.
00:48:52 [Crying]
00:48:55 [Door opens]
00:48:57 Oh, Madonna mia.
00:48:58 What a mess.
00:48:59 [Sighs]
00:49:01 There it is.
00:49:05 It's beautiful, isn't it?
00:49:07 Yeah.
00:49:08 Vinnie's a real artist.
00:49:10 Vinnie is a real stronzo.
00:49:12 Can I help you?
00:49:14 I just called.
00:49:15 I'm Miss Taylor's husband.
00:49:17 I really need to speak to Mrs. Coggots.
00:49:19 I'd like to see Miss Taylor's too, of course.
00:49:21 So you're the one.
00:49:23 Shame on you, young man.
00:49:25 The Italian left, and the American --
00:49:28 well, let's just say she doesn't want to see you right now.
00:49:32 I see.
00:49:34 Could you just give this to the boy?
00:49:48 He's my boy, you know.
00:49:51 And stop looking at me like that, okay?
00:50:03 You know I have my --
00:50:05 Yeah, yeah, you have your problems.
00:50:07 I was too hard.
00:50:09 Charlene was right.
00:50:10 I'm sorry, okay?
00:50:11 I'm sorry.
00:50:12 My mommy always takes a cab
00:50:14 when she has to carry something heavy.
00:50:16 Is your mommy really poor?
00:50:18 No, she's rich,
00:50:19 but she's saving so many to buy me a Bobby doll.
00:50:21 You know, the new one that just came out.
00:50:24 You can also rent that just for a few hours
00:50:26 if you don't want that to stay for the night.
00:50:29 Rent a husband.
00:50:31 Rent a husband.
00:50:33 Say three Hail Marys and two Our Fathers.
00:50:35 Your sins are now forgiven.
00:50:36 I understand, Father, but I go backwards.
00:50:38 To which wife? To which children?
00:50:41 Now I have four. Who do I take care of?
00:50:43 Well, my son --
00:50:44 [Belches]
00:50:45 Of the children all, of the wives, one.
00:50:47 Three Hail Marys and two Our Fathers.
00:50:49 Your sins are now forgiven.
00:50:50 Go in peace, my son.
00:50:51 [Door slams]
00:50:52 [Train whistle blows]
00:50:57 With a parmi-zip skirt,
00:50:59 I can change my outfit whenever I want.
00:51:02 From day into night.
00:51:04 Back into day without ever going home.
00:51:06 It saves so much time.
00:51:08 Feeling too sexy?
00:51:11 Add a piece.
00:51:12 Feeling too normal?
00:51:14 Take a piece off.
00:51:16 You see, with the parmi-elastic skirt --
00:51:18 Stop!
00:51:19 It's formal, not normal.
00:51:22 It's the fourth time you've messed it up already.
00:51:24 Action!
00:51:25 Of course I'm messing it up.
00:51:26 I don't have my lucky statue.
00:51:28 Who wrote this shit, anyway?
00:51:29 You did, as usual.
00:51:31 Can we finish now?
00:51:32 We only have a half an hour to rehearse before we go on.
00:51:35 Oh! It's here!
00:51:37 Oh! Oh, wow!
00:51:40 Lovely dress.
00:51:42 My life's a success.
00:51:44 Thank God my lucky baby is back.
00:51:46 Hello. You must be Vincenzo's cousin.
00:51:48 Yeah. The money.
00:51:50 What money?
00:51:51 For this sculpture.
00:51:52 And Charlene's salary.
00:51:53 I'll pay Charlene when she gets here.
00:51:55 She can't. She's in the hospital.
00:51:56 She just had a baby.
00:51:57 That's her problem.
00:51:59 [Groans]
00:52:00 Oh, no.
00:52:01 I didn't touch --
00:52:02 I knew it!
00:52:03 She hasn't eaten in days.
00:52:05 Wake up. What's her name?
00:52:07 I don't know. I thought you hired her.
00:52:09 Nope. We're on in 25 minutes.
00:52:11 Oh.
00:52:12 We don't have any time. We don't have any time.
00:52:14 We don't have any time.
00:52:16 Oh, God. 25 minutes.
00:52:18 Hey, are you gonna give me the money?
00:52:20 [Sighs]
00:52:21 Do something.
00:52:24 Oh, wait.
00:52:25 Hey, Matt, why do you want --
00:52:26 No, it's okay. It's okay. It's good.
00:52:29 75 -- 100 bucks a day.
00:52:31 To do what?
00:52:32 Don't worry about this. We don't have any time.
00:52:34 Come on. Give me 75 bucks a day.
00:52:36 You got 20 minutes.
00:52:38 You're not pregnant. Are you pregnant?
00:52:40 No.
00:52:41 No?
00:52:42 It's not gonna hurt. Everything's gonna be fine.
00:52:45 Shh.
00:52:47 See, in America, we don't have hair under our arms.
00:52:50 Okay.
00:52:51 It's only gonna hurt a very little bit. Ready?
00:52:53 [Screams]
00:52:54 ♪ When the moon hits your eye ♪
00:52:55 ♪ Like a big pizza pie ♪
00:52:56 ♪ That's amore ♪
00:52:57 [Screams]
00:52:58 [Groans]
00:52:59 [Sighs]
00:53:01 [Coughs]
00:53:03 [Coughs]
00:53:04 [Coughs]
00:53:05 [Sighs]
00:53:07 Mom, no one is here.
00:53:09 Hi, Maria. Sorry I'm late.
00:53:11 Take care.
00:53:13 Zip the whole thing up.
00:53:16 Put all pieces on. Zip up.
00:53:18 Make yourself look as good as I do.
00:53:23 Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:53:25 ♪
00:53:32 You're getting close.
00:53:34 One minute.
00:53:36 [Grunts]
00:53:37 ♪
00:53:39 [Speaking Italian]
00:53:40 Nice. Beautiful.
00:53:41 Go. You're gorgeous. Get out there.
00:53:43 I feel truly beautiful when I wear my Parmigiano-Zip skirt.
00:53:48 I feel good about myself.
00:53:51 Open the zipper.
00:53:53 Open the zipper.
00:53:54 Ah.
00:53:55 And this way, I can go from Minnie to Maxie.
00:53:58 Unzip it. Unzip it.
00:54:00 [Speaking Italian]
00:54:02 It doesn't open. I'm trying.
00:54:04 What are you doing? What are you doing?
00:54:06 I told you, nobody buys them anywhere.
00:54:09 If you want, I can loan you some money.
00:54:14 Okay, okay. I don't open it. I just pretend.
00:54:19 Oh, that's your friend!
00:54:21 Or, you know, I mean, your sister.
00:54:23 We are not related.
00:54:26 We just happen to have the same husband.
00:54:29 Oh.
00:54:32 Don't touch it, okay? Keep it closed.
00:54:34 It's much, much better.
00:54:36 Now we change the game.
00:54:39 I always liked you.
00:54:41 You're so temperamental.
00:54:43 Betty, I'm so sexy.
00:54:45 Hey, temperamental.
00:54:47 Hey, hey, hey, hey! I want my money back!
00:54:50 ♪
00:54:52 Stay in your underwear.
00:54:53 We need you for the butt-reducer demo.
00:54:57 It's not bad. Don't worry.
00:54:59 Damn it! I knew it!
00:55:01 $250 down the drain. Out the window.
00:55:04 This work is not bad. It's too expensive.
00:55:07 Are you kidding? This is a Parmy key holder.
00:55:10 I mean, look at this.
00:55:12 The key for your house, key for the locker in the gym.
00:55:16 Key for your lover's abode.
00:55:19 [Chuckles]
00:55:21 Yeah.
00:55:23 Luca makes these exclusively for me.
00:55:26 The problem, when they make shoes with machines,
00:55:29 there is always something going wrong.
00:55:31 The seams, the heels.
00:55:33 That's why I make mine by hand.
00:55:35 I've been wearing this for seven years.
00:55:37 They're great. See?
00:55:40 Okay, um, only four calls for the zip scoots.
00:55:44 Huh. You know, we can't four calls for the zip scoots.
00:55:47 But 55 for the sandals.
00:55:50 55 calls for the sandals, for my sandals, you see?
00:55:54 No, not your sandals. Her sandals.
00:55:56 Her sandals? Yeah.
00:55:58 Maria's sandals.
00:56:00 [Farting]
00:56:02 Hmm.
00:56:03 You can send us your measurements online,
00:56:06 and we will send you one pair of these magnificent sandals
00:56:09 for only $199.99.
00:56:12 Now, the special sponge that Maria is right now
00:56:15 sewing into these, uh, sandals --
00:56:17 thank you very much --
00:56:19 absorbs foot odor.
00:56:21 Let's face it.
00:56:23 Nobody wants to stink. Nobody wants B.O.
00:56:25 Nobody wants foot odor.
00:56:27 I think it was my fifth wife who left me
00:56:29 when I came home from a basketball game,
00:56:31 took my sneakers off, my feet, they stank.
00:56:34 She wouldn't take me to a pig's bris.
00:56:36 [Chuckles] I'm telling you.
00:56:38 Whoo! Stunk the place out.
00:56:40 The stench filled the room.
00:56:42 She left me. Why not? I would have left, too.
00:56:44 I-I stank.
00:56:46 No one wants to smell bad.
00:56:48 I tell you something. If I have bad breath...
00:56:50 I suck on a mint. Gone.
00:56:52 Same with this.
00:56:54 Fresh, clean, lovely stuff.
00:56:56 [Sniffles]
00:56:58 Odorless, no B.O.
00:57:00 Everything works for you.
00:57:02 No foot odor, no B.O.
00:57:04 You know, there are many reasons why people
00:57:06 will leave their husbands or wives, whatever,
00:57:08 but nothing can ruin a marriage quicker than athlete's foot.
00:57:12 Nothing worse than athlete's foot.
00:57:14 Maybe skid marks in your underpants.
00:57:16 I don't know.
00:57:17 I am a Nazi.
00:57:18 Oh, of course. I put it on Maria.
00:57:20 [Speaking Italian]
00:57:21 I get clumsy sometimes, and these things happen.
00:57:24 I can't make sandals with this fabric.
00:57:26 Where is the biofiber? This is not good.
00:57:28 Here's the biofiber.
00:57:30 Going to get some biofiber. Going to get some more sandals.
00:57:33 And Maria will be right back, I hope,
00:57:35 because she's going to be working here for you
00:57:37 by hand, making these sandals.
00:57:40 And, of course, the special biofiber, this, I can't even tell you about.
00:57:43 But I can tell you this.
00:57:44 Last summer, I was swimming in the Mediterranean.
00:57:47 I loved to scuba dive.
00:57:48 I was down at 180 feet.
00:57:50 I saw something that glistened by a coral reef,
00:57:53 and it was this sponge.
00:57:55 And, you know, 180 feet, that's very deep.
00:57:58 Maria.
00:58:00 What are you doing here?
00:58:01 Maria, I wrote you at least 20 letters.
00:58:03 You never answered.
00:58:04 What are you talking about?
00:58:05 It's been over nine months without any word from you.
00:58:08 Maria, I swear.
00:58:09 Last time, I even kept the receipt from the post office.
00:58:13 Here, look for yourself.
00:58:15 I never got them.
00:58:16 But this proves that somebody took them.
00:58:19 That bastard.
00:58:20 I wrote you with my new address.
00:58:22 You never answered.
00:58:23 I thought you had forgotten.
00:58:25 And then there was this accident with Charlene,
00:58:27 and I thought it was a sign I should stay with you.
00:58:29 Maria, you have to believe me.
00:58:31 I love you.
00:58:32 You know that.
00:58:35 You love me?
00:58:36 Yes.
00:58:38 You love me so much, you had to sleep with another woman?
00:58:40 Shh.
00:58:41 And you left me alone for three years.
00:58:42 Shh.
00:58:43 I can hear you.
00:58:44 Maria will be back.
00:58:45 She'll be here working away, hammering.
00:58:48 We have this special biofiber, the stuff that I dove,
00:58:51 personally, in the Mediterranean for.
00:58:53 We have-- look, she makes necklaces, beads.
00:58:57 This is a craftswoman, a wonderful woman.
00:59:00 Come back, please, Maria.
00:59:02 Here she slaves all day, and I'm offering you a pair,
00:59:06 or two, for less than $400.
00:59:08 One pair for one night.
00:59:10 You like the tie?
00:59:11 I give you the tie for $11 with one pair.
00:59:14 With two pairs, you can have the tie for free,
00:59:17 both the sponge and the tie.
00:59:20 Odorless.
00:59:21 We have many things to sell, and of course, that's why I'm here.
00:59:25 I'm here to give you the bargain, the bargain you want.
00:59:28 You like the watch?
00:59:29 The watch is yours.
00:59:30 Look.
00:59:31 Do you see these special scissors?
00:59:34 Not only do they cut, but they jab.
00:59:38 They jab.
00:59:40 You can cut, you can jab.
00:59:43 Not for sale.
00:59:44 Where is Maria?
00:59:45 Maria?
00:59:46 Well, where the fuck is she?
00:59:49 Hello, Paul Parmesan here.
00:59:53 I do hope you didn't hear that.
00:59:56 Look what I have to do, just so I can tell you I love you.
00:59:59 You're really terrible, like a wild beast.
01:00:03 Don't you understand you're the one that I love?
01:00:06 You're the only one.
01:00:09 I dream of you every time I make a sculpture.
01:00:19 Let's go back home to the sunshine.
01:00:28 Together.
01:00:38 Remember when you'd wait for me on the rocks?
01:00:50 You drove me crazy, lying there in the sun.
01:01:10 I want you so badly.
01:01:12 I've been dreaming of this moment for months.
01:01:31 I know I'm in a mistake, but...
01:01:33 What would you have done in my place?
01:01:44 Ah!
01:01:45 Ah!
01:01:46 What do you think?
01:01:51 You can come back to me like nothing has happened?
01:01:55 You just had a baby with Charlene.
01:01:59 You don't care about anyone.
01:02:04 Is this what you think?
01:02:09 Maria.
01:02:14 Maria, if you don't love me anymore, I'm gonna kill myself.
01:02:22 Maria.
01:02:28 Vicenzo!
01:02:31 You see?
01:02:33 You do still love me.
01:02:40 Of course I love you.
01:02:42 And now freeze out there for all I care.
01:02:46 Maria.
01:02:47 Don't leave me up here.
01:02:58 Maria, what's going on?
01:03:00 I heard some screaming.
01:03:01 Are you okay?
01:03:02 What's going on?
01:03:03 What's going on?
01:03:04 What's going on is you owe me money.
01:03:05 Get it?
01:03:06 I've been working 15 hours without a break.
01:03:09 You burn my hair, you destroy my armpits.
01:03:12 And what is the biofiber asked for?
01:03:14 I'm sorry, I didn't listen.
01:03:16 Relax.
01:03:17 Here's your money.
01:03:18 Look at that.
01:03:19 There you go.
01:03:22 Hey, this is just the money for the sculpture.
01:03:25 What about my hundred bucks for today?
01:03:28 I'm not coming back tomorrow if you don't give me a contract.
01:03:31 That's a good one.
01:03:32 Not even Charlene has a contract, you dumb wop.
01:03:34 I bet you don't even have a work permit.
01:03:36 Hey, where are you going?
01:03:37 Don't you leave on the phone.
01:03:38 We still have work to do.
01:03:39 We got a whole show to do.
01:03:40 What the?
01:03:42 Get back here!
01:03:44 Not you, not you, not you.
01:03:45 I'm sorry, Luca.
01:03:46 No, Luca, Luca.
01:03:47 Hey, I got a great idea for a new sandal.
01:03:49 Yeah, yeah, we sold a few of the Farner key holders.
01:03:52 But did you see the handmade sandals?
01:03:55 My latest creation.
01:03:56 Hey, listen, Luca, if we make them with your machines,
01:03:59 we can become millionaires.
01:04:01 I'm telling you.
01:04:02 Yeah, it has a sponge in it.
01:04:03 But look, I'll tell you everything tomorrow.
01:04:04 I'm sure we can make a deal.
01:04:06 I don't know.
01:04:07 Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow.
01:04:09 Here at 8 AM.
01:04:10 It's great.
01:04:11 Ciao, Caro.
01:04:12 I mean, would you do it, huh?
01:04:14 Would you leave your kids in the hands of a total stranger?
01:04:17 Rent a husband.
01:04:18 Rent a husband, whatever.
01:04:20 Oh, God.
01:04:21 I mean, in a city like this, full of sickos and freaks,
01:04:23 am I right or am I right?
01:04:26 Oh, this woman is really too much.
01:04:29 I mean, even though my kids are also hers, I guess.
01:04:32 I mean, she did have two kids, and she had them with her husband.
01:04:35 I mean, my husband, but I mean, well, am I right or am I right?
01:04:39 Yeah.
01:04:40 I'm right.
01:04:41 [MUSIC PLAYING]
01:04:43 [SPEAKING ITALIAN]
01:04:50 [MUSIC PLAYING]
01:04:52 OK, Lucetta, it's your turn.
01:05:09 You got to keep beating it if you want to get it hard.
01:05:12 There you go.
01:05:13 That's it.
01:05:14 OK, now you hold it.
01:05:17 Yeah, right there, right there.
01:05:19 Put your hand here.
01:05:21 [SCREAMING]
01:05:22 Take your filthy hands off my kids!
01:05:24 [SCREAMING]
01:05:26 Is everything all right?
01:05:31 Who are you?
01:05:33 It's my mother.
01:05:35 Charlene?
01:05:37 Yeah, yeah, I'm Ryan.
01:05:38 Well, I, um, I think there's a fuse box over here.
01:05:43 Stay here.
01:05:44 Um, I think it's over here.
01:05:46 Um--
01:05:57 Charlene?
01:05:59 Yeah, um, I'm Charlene.
01:06:01 I'm Charlene.
01:06:02 I'm, uh, sorry.
01:06:03 We were-- we were just cooking Nutella with crepes.
01:06:08 And, uh--
01:06:09 Nutella?
01:06:10 Hmm.
01:06:12 Oh, my god, my baby's on the stairs.
01:06:14 Here, let me help you with that.
01:06:16 It's part of my job.
01:06:17 Uh, baby, go, um, go help.
01:06:21 There's a bassinet on the stairs.
01:06:23 Tell your father--
01:06:24 I mean, Vinnie.
01:06:25 I mean--
01:06:26 Raoul, my name is Raoul.
01:06:28 Maria asked me to come to take care of the children for her.
01:06:30 So come here, take care of yourself.
01:06:32 [baby laughing]
01:06:33 There you go.
01:06:34 Just breathe.
01:06:39 Very good.
01:06:46 [baby laughing]
01:06:48 That's right.
01:06:53 Hi.
01:07:00 Hi.
01:07:02 Maria, I brought your suitcase for you.
01:07:04 Thank you.
01:07:05 Welcome.
01:07:06 Uh, did-- did Paul pay you?
01:07:08 Yeah.
01:07:09 He won't believe.
01:07:10 I was coming back home, and I saw the biofiber in a store.
01:07:13 And I bought it.
01:07:16 Look, I'm so happy.
01:07:18 OK, that's it.
01:07:20 Get out.
01:07:22 I'll send the money one time back to Italy.
01:07:25 I swear.
01:07:26 I really need it.
01:07:27 I don't care.
01:07:28 I said get out.
01:07:29 Did you hear me?
01:07:30 We're all going to have to clear out of here anyway,
01:07:32 because you spent the rent money on some stupid fabric.
01:07:37 First, you steal my husband.
01:07:39 Then, you steal my job.
01:07:40 And now, you steal my money.
01:07:41 And to top it all off, you leave our kids
01:07:43 in the hands of a total stranger.
01:07:45 You're irresponsible.
01:07:46 That's what you are.
01:07:47 Get out of my life, OK?
01:07:49 Go back to Italy.
01:07:50 Just get out of here.
01:07:51 First of all, I didn't steal anything from you.
01:07:53 You call that a job?
01:07:54 It's a torture.
01:07:55 You can keep it.
01:07:56 You can also keep Vincenzo if you want.
01:07:58 I don't mean any of this.
01:08:01 [SPEAKING ITALIAN]
01:08:04 Maria?
01:08:06 Maria, if you want the keys to my place, you can have them.
01:08:09 No, thank you.
01:08:10 I'm going to go to the consulate.
01:08:12 They'll take care of us.
01:08:13 You sure?
01:08:14 [SPEAKING ITALIAN]
01:08:16 No, I don't want to go.
01:08:21 I want to stay here.
01:08:22 I want to play with baby.
01:08:23 I don't want her to go.
01:08:25 Let's go.
01:08:26 No, she has to stay here with me.
01:08:27 You have to stay here with me.
01:08:29 You're mean.
01:08:30 It's all your fault.
01:08:31 [MUSIC PLAYING]
01:08:34 Why is everything always happening to me?
01:08:49 It's OK.
01:08:50 She's just kids.
01:08:51 [CRYING]
01:08:55 [MUSIC PLAYING]
01:08:58 Are you Italian?
01:09:04 No, no, no.
01:09:05 Cuban.
01:09:06 Good.
01:09:09 Italian men are jerks.
01:09:12 They're completely irresponsible.
01:09:16 They cheat on their wives.
01:09:19 And they lie.
01:09:21 And they eat a lot of garlic.
01:09:25 And they eat pasta all the time.
01:09:28 Pasta, pasta.
01:09:29 And it has to be al dente.
01:09:31 Al dente.
01:09:32 [CRYING]
01:09:35 And I didn't know.
01:09:37 I didn't know.
01:09:39 It's OK.
01:09:40 It's OK.
01:09:41 It's OK.
01:09:42 [CRYING]
01:09:50 I'll get it.
01:09:51 Excuse me.
01:09:53 Where'd you get that stone?
01:09:54 It's Tibetan.
01:09:56 You know, it's supposed to bring soulmates together.
01:09:58 [CRYING]
01:10:01 [MUSIC PLAYING]
01:10:04 You're the only one who loves me.
01:10:07 [MUSIC PLAYING]
01:10:11 [MUSIC PLAYING]
01:10:15 [MUSIC PLAYING]
01:10:19 [GUN COCKS]
01:10:22 [MUSIC PLAYING]
01:10:25 [MUSIC PLAYING]
01:10:29 [MUSIC PLAYING]
01:10:57 Mama.
01:10:58 Do you have to pee?
01:10:59 No.
01:11:00 I'm starving.
01:11:03 I know.
01:11:05 But you have to wait.
01:11:07 Tomorrow on the plane, they will give you
01:11:09 all the food you want.
01:11:10 Promise.
01:11:11 But I'm hungry now.
01:11:13 I know.
01:11:14 I know.
01:11:16 Everything will be all right.
01:11:19 We always have found a way.
01:11:22 The three of us.
01:11:23 [MUSIC PLAYING]
01:11:27 You know, maybe Don Pepino will help us.
01:11:31 He's not a bad person.
01:11:32 [MUSIC PLAYING]
01:11:35 He will buy for you school books.
01:11:39 He'll do barbiturates for you.
01:11:41 [MUSIC PLAYING]
01:11:44 [MUSIC PLAYING]
01:11:48 [MUSIC PLAYING]
01:11:51 [MUSIC PLAYING]
01:11:54 (somber music)
01:11:56 (waves crashing)
01:11:59 (somber music)
01:12:01 (waves crashing)
01:12:04 (somber music)
01:12:10 (waves crashing)
01:12:13 - I wonder where Maria slept last night.
01:12:36 (somber music)
01:12:39 I hope the kids are okay.
01:12:43 - What's this?
01:12:46 - Oh, Maria left that in the kitchen for you.
01:12:51 - For your lovely feet.
01:12:55 (Maria crying)
01:13:02 I'm such an asshole.
01:13:05 - You're not an asshole.
01:13:07 - I am.
01:13:07 (phone ringing)
01:13:10 - Hello?
01:13:12 - Charlene, please don't hang up on me.
01:13:14 Charlene?
01:13:15 - Vincenzo? - Yes.
01:13:16 - What the hell do you want?
01:13:16 I don't wanna talk to you.
01:13:18 - Charlene, I know I made a mess of everything,
01:13:19 but now we have another problem to deal with.
01:13:21 - You get the kid here.
01:13:22 I have this baby all by myself.
01:13:24 I don't wanna shoot you.
01:13:24 - Hurry up.
01:13:25 - Charlene, Paul wants to steal Maria's idea
01:13:26 for the sandals.
01:13:28 I heard him calling Luca from outside the window.
01:13:29 He has a meeting at eight o'clock.
01:13:30 - Eight o'clock?
01:13:31 - Eight o'clock.
01:13:32 - It's the crack of dawn.
01:13:33 We'll never make it at eight o'clock.
01:13:34 - I know, but we have to try.
01:13:36 You know, the sandals are on the wrong line.
01:13:37 - Okay, fine.
01:13:38 - We have to try.
01:13:39 Hurry up, please, it's urgent.
01:13:40 - Okay, okay, okay.
01:13:41 - Do you know where she is?
01:13:42 - Maybe she's at the consulate.
01:13:42 - It's urgent.
01:13:43 - Okay, all right, bye.
01:13:45 Hey, get up, we've gotta go.
01:13:46 (car horn honking)
01:13:49 - Maria, Maria, I am so sorry for everything
01:13:58 that I said last night.
01:13:59 Please forgive me.
01:14:00 You can stay at my place as long as you want.
01:14:02 Actually, you have to stay.
01:14:03 - I can't.
01:14:05 I have no money, no job.
01:14:06 - You have to leave.
01:14:07 - Well, you will have a job if we hurry.
01:14:09 Vincenzo's waiting for us.
01:14:11 - Vincenzo?
01:14:12 - Yes, come on, come on, we've gotta hurry.
01:14:13 Excuse me, come on.
01:14:13 - All right.
01:14:14 (upbeat music)
01:14:16 - Look, you remember the butt reducer?
01:14:19 - Yes.
01:14:20 - It did pretty good for us, right?
01:14:21 Check out this brilliant idea I have.
01:14:23 You see this?
01:14:24 You just sew the sponge onto the sole of the sandal,
01:14:27 and then you put this stuff on top of the stuff.
01:14:29 - Yeah.
01:14:30 (upbeat music)
01:14:34 - Fifth Avenue and 13th Street.
01:14:36 - Get out!
01:14:39 - Get out!
01:14:40 - Why?
01:14:41 - Out.
01:14:42 I had to spend $50 to wash my seats last time.
01:14:45 - I know, but we have the money this time,
01:14:46 and we'll pay you for last time.
01:14:48 - I said, get out!
01:14:49 Oh, come on.
01:14:51 - Okay, let's go.
01:14:52 (indistinct chatter)
01:14:54 - And then you put this stuff,
01:14:56 I think it's like vial of silver or something.
01:14:58 Yeah, you put it on top.
01:14:59 - Taxi, taxi!
01:15:01 - I have to water!
01:15:02 - Let's go.
01:15:03 (upbeat music)
01:15:06 - It's a gold mine.
01:15:12 It was completely my idea.
01:15:15 - Gold mine?
01:15:15 That's not true!
01:15:16 - Vincenzo, what's with the window?
01:15:21 - That design is my wife's idea.
01:15:22 My wife's work.
01:15:24 - Charlene?
01:15:24 Since when does Charlene make sandals?
01:15:26 - Not Charlene, my Italian wife, Maria.
01:15:29 - Yeah, right, two wives.
01:15:31 I thought Maria was your cousin.
01:15:32 - My cousin?
01:15:34 What are you talking about?
01:15:35 - You must be a little cheating.
01:15:36 - Yes, just a couple of words.
01:15:38 - Don't, hey!
01:15:39 (upbeat music)
01:15:41 - Oh, God!
01:15:46 Guys, she just peed on me!
01:15:48 - I told you!
01:15:49 - Guys, that's disgusting!
01:15:50 She just, oh!
01:15:51 (upbeat music)
01:15:54 - We're not talking about shoes here.
01:15:58 We're talking about culture.
01:16:00 - How, how,
01:16:02 how will our traditions endure
01:16:05 if we're going to use only machines?
01:16:07 And,
01:16:08 and all this plastic?
01:16:11 - Where, where?
01:16:12 There?
01:16:13 Here?
01:16:14 Okay.
01:16:15 - Enough with that man-made junk.
01:16:17 How do we think we can make progress
01:16:18 if we don't respect the true craft of women?
01:16:21 You know, get the--
01:16:22 - Ow!
01:16:23 (thudding)
01:16:24 He hit me!
01:16:25 - Maria, here she is.
01:16:26 - He hit me!
01:16:27 - Tell him the sponge sole is your idea.
01:16:28 He was telling me it was his idea.
01:16:29 I was outside, I heard it.
01:16:30 I heard everything.
01:16:31 It's my idea.
01:16:32 - Shut up!
01:16:33 - You know, it's freezing.
01:16:34 I love you, Maria.
01:16:35 Maria, Luca, Luca, listen to her.
01:16:36 - Is it okay?
01:16:37 Are you okay?
01:16:38 - It's her idea.
01:16:39 - Of course it's my idea.
01:16:40 - How do we know it's your idea?
01:16:42 - Luca, you don't have to listen to these lunatics.
01:16:45 You go, I'll talk to Maria.
01:16:46 - It is his idea.
01:16:47 - Tell him about the fabric.
01:16:48 - Ask him why it's not the right fabric for the shoes.
01:16:52 - Of course it's not right!
01:16:54 First of all, you need the,
01:16:56 you need the biofabio.
01:16:58 - Biofabio?
01:17:00 - Yes, it's, this is just a sample.
01:17:02 - Biofiber, it's called biofiber.
01:17:08 Where else do we need the biofiber?
01:17:10 - What, why, why?
01:17:15 Because it's from, it's from the sea,
01:17:17 the Mediterranean Sea.
01:17:18 I dove down, I got like the sponge.
01:17:22 It's mine, I got it.
01:17:23 I import it.
01:17:25 I make millions.
01:17:26 This stuff is durable.
01:17:28 It's so durable.
01:17:30 I mean, also,
01:17:32 and also.
01:17:35 - Are you all right?
01:17:40 - I'm all right.
01:17:40 I'm dizzy.
01:17:43 I'm all right.
01:17:44 I'll tell you later, I will, I'll tell you.
01:17:46 Please.
01:17:47 Maria.
01:17:49 - You see, for years,
01:17:50 I've been making classic leather sandals.
01:17:52 And then, because I live near the sea,
01:17:54 I discovered the incredible antibacterial potential
01:17:57 of the marine sponge.
01:17:58 (speaking in foreign language)
01:18:00 It contains a toxin, exotoxin, that kills bacteria.
01:18:04 I did the research at the library.
01:18:05 - Yes.
01:18:06 - And I also discovered that if you put a layer
01:18:08 of sponge on the bottom,
01:18:09 the sole conforms to the natural shape
01:18:12 of the person's feet.
01:18:13 And the sandal becomes orthopedic.
01:18:15 The only problem I had was how to protect the sponge
01:18:18 from water and corrosion.
01:18:20 - Ah, yes, you need to put something on the top, right?
01:18:23 - That's why I found biofiber.
01:18:25 It's a special fabric that they make
01:18:26 and sell just here in America.
01:18:28 It's waterproof and it also breathes.
01:18:31 - That's what I'm saying.
01:18:32 It's durable.
01:18:33 - Shut up.
01:18:34 Let him finish.
01:18:35 Go.
01:18:35 Now I can finally complete my sandal
01:18:37 without worrying that the sponge will fall apart.
01:18:40 But if you want to make my sandals,
01:18:44 you will have to make in my way.
01:18:45 And even the sponge is naturally cultivated
01:18:49 in the Sea of Crocida,
01:18:50 the little island where I come from.
01:18:52 She dries it in the sun, mixed with lemon skin,
01:18:55 so it becomes impregnated with the scent.
01:18:57 And she puts cinnamon on the sole itself.
01:19:00 - I'm sorry.
01:19:01 - You can never be too sure with foot odor.
01:19:04 - Our Paul is so clumsy.
01:19:06 - Hmm?
01:19:07 - Our products are natural and completely hypoallergenic.
01:19:13 In about a week, our apartment will be ready.
01:19:19 So we can all breathe.
01:19:20 - Take as long as you want.
01:19:22 - That must be Raul.
01:19:24 - No, Raul got a job as a chef.
01:19:26 The agency sent us somebody new.
01:19:27 - Hi.
01:19:30 (children shouting)
01:19:33 - What are you doing here?
01:19:37 - You called me.
01:19:38 I'm her inter-husband now.
01:19:41 - Please, Mama, let us stay.
01:19:42 Let us stay.
01:19:44 Please.
01:19:45 - Well, at least he's not a complete stranger.
01:19:47 (children cheering)
01:19:50 - Yippee!
01:19:51 - Okay, we need to explain a few things first.
01:19:58 (upbeat jazz music)
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01:20:16 (upbeat jazz music continues)
01:20:20 (upbeat jazz music continues)
01:20:47 (upbeat jazz music continues)
01:20:51 - Wanna call her?
01:21:13 - No.
01:21:14 (baby cooing)
01:21:16 - What are you doing there?
01:21:18 (laughing)
01:21:20 Go on, go on.
01:21:31 (footsteps tapping)
01:21:34 - Here's your salary for the week.
01:21:56 - You don't need to pay me anymore.
01:21:58 (cash register dings)
01:22:01 No, no, no, no.
01:22:10 I don't trust you anymore, okay?
01:22:13 I want just a working relationship.
01:22:17 (laughing)
01:22:20 - Shh, come on.
01:22:21 Business is business, okay?
01:22:25 - Are you ever going to forgive me?
01:22:27 (breathing heavily)
01:22:30 - I prefer to rent you for a while, hmm?
01:22:33 - Now I know he's my papa.
01:22:50 (laughing)
01:22:52 (speaking in foreign language)
01:22:56 - Buongiorno.
01:23:14 Buongiorno.
01:23:21 Buongiorno.
01:23:22 (speaking in foreign language)
01:23:26 (speaking in foreign language)
01:23:30 (speaking in foreign language)
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01:23:38 (speaking in foreign language)
01:23:42 (speaking in foreign language)
01:23:46 (speaking in foreign language)
01:23:50 (speaking in foreign language)
01:23:54 - Hello?
01:24:19 Hello, Maria, it's Charlene.
01:24:20 Where are you?
01:24:21 We're on in 30 minutes.
01:24:22 We're waiting for you at the TV studio.
01:24:23 - Oh, hi, Charlene.
01:24:24 - What's going on?
01:24:25 You keep running late.
01:24:26 What about the sponges?
01:24:27 We have a lot of orders from this morning
01:24:29 that we have to fill.
01:24:29 - Oh, don't worry.
01:24:30 I just called Italy.
01:24:32 The sponges are already on the boat.
01:24:33 They'll be in New York in two days.
01:24:35 - Oh, great, great, okay.
01:24:37 Everything's all right at home?
01:24:38 Did Vincenzo give the bottle to the baby?
01:24:40 - The baby?
01:24:41 The baby is sleeping,
01:24:43 and we are kind of busy with something else right now.
01:24:46 - That's right, we're busy.
01:24:47 - And what about the kids?
01:24:48 Are they there at school?
01:24:49 - Mm-hmm.
01:24:50 - Oh, I talked to rental husband.
01:24:51 They're gonna give us a discount for the holidays.
01:24:53 Oh, thank God for that agency.
01:24:54 What would we have done without them?
01:24:56 Maria?
01:24:57 Maria?
01:24:59 Maria?
01:25:01 Oh, no, not again.
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01:29:52 (audience cheering)
01:29:55 (audience cheering)
01:29:58 [BLANK_AUDIO]