• 6 months ago
It's a "Planet of the Apes" battle royale! Welcome to WatchMojo, and today we’re ranking every “Planet of the Apes” movie, from the damn dirtiest to the most evolved.
Transcript
00:00 "Do not come back."
00:03 Welcome to WatchMojo, and today we're ranking every Planet of the Apes movie,
00:07 from the damn dirtiest to the most evolved.
00:10 "It's a manhouse! A manhouse!"
00:15 This fifth entry also serves as a finale to the original Apes series.
00:23 While the title suggests an epic culmination,
00:26 Battle for the Planet of the Apes falls short.
00:28 "Teacher! Teacher! You've spoken the unspeakable.
00:33 In all our years of slavery to mankind, the word 'no' was the one word we were
00:37 electrically conditioned to fear."
00:38 The apes have descended from John Chambers Oscar-winning makeup effects
00:42 to Halloween-quality masks with lip movements that rarely sync up with the dialogue.
00:47 We see little of the planet, with most of the plot confined to the apes' uninspired village.
00:52 "Explain."
00:52 "You wouldn't understand."
00:55 "I know we'll make the future with this."
00:58 The titular battle is especially underwhelming as vehicles gradually move toward a fleet of
01:03 repetitive gunfire. It all builds to a main villain dying by plunging from a tree
01:09 that wasn't even far off the ground.
01:12 The story admirably tries to bring things full circle,
01:14 but we understand why Hollywood abandoned this franchise for 28 years.
01:19 "We'll rebuild what's ruined and begin again.
01:23 Tell me something, MacDonald. Can we make the future what we wish?"
01:26 "I've heard that it's possible, Caesar."
01:29 Number 9. Planet of the Apes.
01:31 Believe it or not, the hype was through the roof leading to this reimagining's release.
01:36 With Tim Burton on a hot streak, we had every reason to assume he would breathe new life into
01:41 the IP.
01:41 "Take your stinking hands off me, you damn dirty human!"
01:46 The project also seemed tailor-made for Rick Baker, who devised arguably the most expressive
01:52 makeup effects the franchise had ever seen.
01:54 While some actors behind the ape makeup are having fun,
01:57 the humans range from bland to stupidly unlikable.
02:01 "Is there another way out of the city?"
02:02 "Not get involved with these humans."
02:05 "Why did you help me? Why would you take that chance?"
02:10 "Cause you're not usual."
02:18 The dull plot is riddled with awkward moments and confused commentary.
02:22 Although the twist ending is technically closer to the original book,
02:26 it proved so baffling and random that not even Burton could explain it.
02:30 He figured somebody else would in the sequel that never got made, and for good reason.
02:42 Number 8. Beneath the Planet of the Apes.
02:45 This direct follow-up to the original classic sadly took a step backward.
02:49 "I don't know what planet we're on, but the fact is we're both of us here,
02:54 we're breathing, we're conscious, we got plenty of oxygen, water."
02:58 Charlton Heston clearly wanted to star in this sequel about as much as he enjoyed being
03:03 in Bowling for Columbine.
03:05 Heston's Taylor is thus absent for most of the picture,
03:07 with James Franciscus' Brent serving as an almost identical stand-in.
03:12 The first half needlessly retreads the first film until we venture
03:15 into New York's underground ruins.
03:17 "This used to be my home. I lived here, worked here.
03:25 What? What happened? What could have happened?"
03:33 While the art direction is inspired, the plot goes off the rails with the arrival
03:37 of a secret society that worships a bomb and wears human skin.
03:41 Did David Lynch hijack this production?
03:43 By the climax, you wish someone would just blow it all up,
03:46 which is precisely what Heston does. No more sequels for him.
03:50 Number 7. Conquest of the Planet of the Apes.
04:00 We're getting into pretty good territory now.
04:02 After playing Cornelius in two of the three previous films,
04:05 Roddy McDowall returns as his son Caesar.
04:08 "Now listen to me, Caesar. There can be only one talking chimpanzee on Earth.
04:12 The child of the two talking apes, Cornelius and Zira,
04:15 who came to us years ago out of the future and were brutally murdered
04:19 for fear that one very distant day, apes might dominate the human race."
04:23 Growing up hiding his intelligence, Caesar is compelled to accept his destiny
04:28 as leader of the apes, who have been enslaved by humans.
04:31 While Caesar experiences the worst humanity has to offer,
04:34 he also recognizes the good, attempting to balance mercy and strength
04:38 while bringing salvation.
04:40 "But I will tell you something that is, the belief that human beings are kind."
04:46 "No, Caesar. There are some."
04:48 "Oh, a handful perhaps, but not most of them.
04:50 Oh, they won't learn to be kind until we force them to."
04:53 Fans of the modern apes films will recognize numerous themes and characters
04:57 that stemmed from this penultimate chapter in the original continuity.
05:00 Although many of these ideas would be better executed in subsequent films,
05:04 Conquest provided a solid blueprint with thoughtful real-world parallels
05:08 and one of McDowell's most commanding performances throughout the series.
05:11 "My people will crouch and conspire and plot and plan
05:17 for the inevitable day of man's downfall."
05:20 The best of the original sequels, this third film sees Cornelius and Zira
05:28 travel back to when humans were dominant.
05:30 "Zira."
05:32 "I'm not his mate, I'm yours."
05:34 "Control yourself, I think they're trying to be kind."
05:38 It sounds silly, and Escape does have some of the franchise's
05:42 most legitimately funny moments as Cornelius and Zira turn into media stars.
05:46 The apes go from being celebrated to feared, though, as Zira becomes pregnant.
05:51 With humanity's future seemingly in jeopardy,
05:53 the government seeks to ensure Zira's baby isn't born.
05:56 "Do you want them and their progeny to dominate the world, Mr. President?"
05:59 "Well, not at the next election, no."
06:01 "But one day, if the progeny turn out as well as the parents, who knows?
06:05 They may do a better job of it than we have."
06:09 "By destroying the world?"
06:10 As some modern critics have pointed out,
06:12 the film debuted not long before Roe v. Wade went to the Supreme Court,
06:17 making it relevant even more than 50 years later.
06:20 At its heart are two deeply empathetic performances from Roddy McDowell and Kim Hunter
06:24 as a couple denied the chance to live peacefully.
06:27 "You don't like them very much, do you?"
06:30 "Who?"
06:31 "Humans."
06:33 "We've met hundreds since we've been here, and I trust... three."
06:42 Number 5. Rise of the Planet of the Apes.
06:45 A decade after the Burton misfire, Rise rebooted the franchise again with a much better outcome.
06:51 "Are you watching this?
06:52 This is unbelievable.
06:57 I... I... I..."
07:03 In lieu of prosthetic makeup, the apes are portrayed through motion capture technology.
07:07 This could have backfired, but when the great Andy Serkis and the visual effects
07:11 wizards at Weta Digital are involved, the results are nothing short of groundbreaking.
07:16 With minimal dialogue, Serkis gives one of his most meditative
07:20 and physically demanding performances as Caesar.
07:25 The human characters might not be as interesting as Caesar or his fellow apes.
07:29 In a post-COVID world, though, watching humanity's downfall feels eerily more
07:34 practical than we'd like to admit.
07:36 It's capped off with an exhilarating climax,
07:38 doing for San Francisco what the original did for New York.
07:41 "Caesar is home."
07:43 "Okay."
07:54 "Caesar's home."
07:55 With the previous film concluding Caesar's story on such a poignant note,
08:03 we weren't sure if the Apes franchise needed to continue under Disney's reign.
08:23 However, we were pleasantly surprised by the latest entry,
08:26 which takes place generations after Caesar.
08:29 His presence is still felt as some use Caesar's words to inspire hope,
08:33 while others use them to impose force.
08:35 "My family."
08:36 "I will find them. I will bring them home."
08:44 While the apes are more evolved than ever, humans may also be staging a comeback,
08:49 which could either lead to alliances or war.
08:53 Director Wes Ball delivers a grand and immersive spectacle of world-building,
08:57 with strong character dynamics at the forefront.
09:00 It succeeds as both an extension of Caesar's legacy
09:02 and the start of a new legacy that will hopefully keep growing in future sequels.
09:07 "The elders did not tell us everything about this world."
09:19 When the reboot series commenced, there was more emphasis on the humans,
09:23 with Caesar almost being a supporting player.
09:26 "You're him. You're Caesar. We've been searching for you for so long."
09:32 By the time we got to war, this was undoubtedly Caesar's world,
09:36 and humans were just living in it.
09:38 Woody Harrelson's Colonel may attempt to reclaim the planet,
09:41 although he's clinging to a hierarchy that no longer exists,
09:44 as the apes are now more evolved than humans.
09:47 "You came here to kill me. Or were you gonna show me mercy?"
09:52 "I showed you mercy when I spared your men.
09:56 I offered you peace, and you killed my family."
10:02 The harsh winter backdrop reflects the changing world,
10:04 which will never be the same once spring comes.
10:07 With the apes taking center stage,
10:09 Matt Reeves' film is one of the most engaging examples
10:12 of visual storytelling we've ever witnessed.
10:15 Living up to its title, this is a truly effective war story
10:19 with brutal action, quiet intensity, and heartbreaking deaths.
10:22 "Apes are strong.
10:25 With or without me."
10:33 In the second chapter of Caesar's arc,
10:39 Matt Reeves didn't just remind us how thought-provoking
10:41 Planet of the Apes could be.
10:43 "Apes do not want war, but will fight if we must."
10:58 He took it to new territory with echoes of a Shakespearean tragedy.
11:01 In just three years, motion capture has taken enormous leaps forward,
11:06 but that's far from the only improvement.
11:08 With humanity struggling to survive and apes ascending,
11:11 Caesar attempts to maintain peace.
11:13 That peace is challenged by an ape named Coba,
11:16 possibly this franchise's most cunning and destructive,
11:19 yet also relatable villain.
11:21 "Human work.
11:22 Human work.
11:27 Human work!"
11:30 The layered rivalry between Caesar and Coba is the driving force
11:35 in a story that doesn't just pit apes against humans,
11:38 but also apes against apes.
11:40 Above all else, it's about dominance versus compassion,
11:43 with the latter not always proving practical.
11:46 "I am sorry.
11:47 My friend.
11:52 I thought we had a chance."
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12:14 Being based on a book originally titled 'Monkey Planet',
12:21 few could have expected how seriously the original film would take itself.
12:25 "Still can't accept it.
12:26 Time's wiped out everything you ever knew.
12:29 It's all dust."
12:31 Looking at the talent involved though,
12:33 it's evident why this amounted to a sci-fi classic.
12:36 In addition to being helmed by patent director Franklin J. Schaffner,
12:40 actors like Charlton Heston, Roddy McDowell,
12:42 and Kim Hunter brought genuine gravitas to every line.
12:46 "Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape."
12:50 The script was penned by Michael Wilson,
12:53 who co-wrote 'Lawrence of Arabia',
12:55 and Rod Serling, who created 'The Twilight Zone'.
12:58 The result is a perfect blend of their styles,
13:01 encompassing Wilson's sweeping scope and Serling's signature twists.
13:04 In addition to being unexpected,
13:06 the iconic ending prompts the audience to re-evaluate the movie they just watched,
13:11 exposing humans, not apes, as their own worst enemy.
13:15 "We finally really did it.
13:17 You maniacs!
13:20 You blew it up!
13:23 Oh, damn you!
13:26 God damn you all to hell!"
13:32 What's your definitive ranking of the 'Apes' franchise?
13:35 Let us know in the comments.
13:36 "Ever hear of 'Planet of the Apes'?"
13:39 "The movie or the planet?"
13:42 "The brand new multi-million dollar musical.
13:45 And you are starring as the human."
13:49 "It's the part I was born to play, baby!"
13:51 Did you enjoy this video?
13:53 Check out these other clips from WatchMojo,
13:55 and be sure to subscribe and ring the bell to be notified about our latest videos.
14:01 [outro music]

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