The Love Boat S01E15
Transcript
00:00:00 [music]
00:00:02 [music]
00:00:04 (upbeat jazz music)
00:00:07 (upbeat jazz music)
00:00:10 (upbeat jazz music)
00:00:13 ♪ Love ♪
00:00:37 ♪ Exciting and new ♪
00:00:41 ♪ Come aboard ♪
00:00:45 ♪ We're expecting you ♪
00:00:49 ♪ And love ♪
00:00:53 ♪ Life's sweetest reward ♪
00:00:57 ♪ Let it flow ♪
00:01:01 ♪ It floats back to you ♪
00:01:06 ♪ The love boat ♪
00:01:09 ♪ Soon we'll be making them all run ♪
00:01:14 ♪ The love boat ♪
00:01:17 ♪ Promises something for everyone ♪
00:01:22 ♪ Set a course for adventure ♪
00:01:24 ♪ Your mind on a new romance ♪
00:01:29 ♪ And love ♪
00:01:34 ♪ Won't hurt anymore ♪
00:01:38 ♪ It's an open smile ♪
00:01:42 ♪ On a friendly shore ♪
00:01:46 ♪ It's love ♪
00:01:51 ♪ Welcome aboard ♪
00:01:52 ♪ It's love ♪
00:02:01 (upbeat jazz music)
00:02:04 (upbeat jazz music)
00:02:07 (people chattering)
00:02:33 - All right, everybody, all right, everybody.
00:02:34 Just one more shot and that's it, all right?
00:02:36 - Yes, after all, this is supposed to be
00:02:37 just a quiet little vacation for two.
00:02:40 - William and I were trying to slip away unnoticed.
00:02:43 (people gasping)
00:02:44 - Miss Rogers, is it true the Star of Kashmir
00:02:46 cost $1.2 million?
00:02:48 - Well, actually, originally, it cost a million and a half.
00:02:51 But you see, my sister works at Tiffany's,
00:02:53 so she got an employee's discount.
00:02:55 (people laughing)
00:02:56 (door creaking)
00:02:59 - Ah, thank you, my good man.
00:03:01 Here you are, my dear.
00:03:02 Careful.
00:03:03 There we are.
00:03:04 All right, have you got everything?
00:03:05 - Yeah.
00:03:06 - All right.
00:03:07 One final word.
00:03:09 Once we're on the ship,
00:03:11 we all act like ordinary passengers.
00:03:13 - Oh, I thought we were here to steal the diamond.
00:03:17 (people laughing)
00:03:18 - Box, you promised not to think this one.
00:03:21 - I am not sailing with that moron.
00:03:24 (people laughing)
00:03:25 Now that you can't talk about Tiffany like this,
00:03:28 Box, will you put him down?
00:03:30 - Hey, down is that way.
00:03:33 (people laughing)
00:03:34 (upbeat music)
00:03:38 - Cossack!
00:03:39 (people laughing)
00:03:40 (upbeat music)
00:03:42 Three steps.
00:03:43 (upbeat music)
00:03:49 Now, this is our purser's lobby, Jenny.
00:03:52 - It's big.
00:03:53 - Hmm.
00:03:54 - Where do the stairs lead to?
00:03:55 - Come on, Dick.
00:03:57 How did you know that?
00:03:58 - It sounds big.
00:04:00 And I can hear the people walking up and down the stairs.
00:04:04 - That's amazing.
00:04:05 - If you show me around the ship once, Gopher,
00:04:07 I won't have to bother you anymore.
00:04:09 - Okay.
00:04:10 And then I'll let you show me around the ship.
00:04:12 I keep getting lost.
00:04:13 (people laughing)
00:04:14 Come on, let's check with Julie
00:04:15 and see if she's got your table assignment for dinner.
00:04:18 - You're in cabin 330 on the Fiesta deck.
00:04:21 - Thanks very much.
00:04:22 And you know I'll be getting off at Puerto Vallarta, right?
00:04:24 - Right.
00:04:25 Steve?
00:04:27 Steve, is that you?
00:04:30 - Jenny?
00:04:31 - Yes.
00:04:33 What are you doing here?
00:04:35 - I'm going to Puerto Vallarta.
00:04:37 - Steve, I can't believe you're here.
00:04:39 Steve and I went to the same school for the blind.
00:04:42 - Oh?
00:04:43 Ah, well, Jenny, this is Julie McCoy, our cruise director.
00:04:46 This is Jenny Lang.
00:04:48 - Oh, how do you do?
00:04:49 - Hello.
00:04:50 - It's nice to meet you.
00:04:51 I think that it's wonderful that you guys know each other.
00:04:53 Why don't I put you at the same table for dinner?
00:04:56 - What table did I give you?
00:04:58 - I think it was 14.
00:05:00 - Well, I guess that's my lucky number.
00:05:02 I'll see you at dinner.
00:05:03 I've got to change.
00:05:04 - Would you like to have a cocktail before dinner?
00:05:07 - You're on.
00:05:08 - Richard, this is Miss Lang.
00:05:10 Would you show her to her cabin, please?
00:05:12 It's promenade 352.
00:05:13 - Right.
00:05:14 - Thank you.
00:05:17 - Later.
00:05:21 - It's actually the first time I've ever seen her.
00:05:26 I was born blind.
00:05:28 We met at the school.
00:05:30 She had her vision until she was 14.
00:05:32 Then she lost it.
00:05:35 - But now you can see.
00:05:37 - Yeah.
00:05:38 A couple years ago, I underwent a series of operations.
00:05:40 - Well, that's fantastic.
00:05:42 - I just couldn't blurt it out.
00:05:45 She hasn't been as fortunate.
00:05:47 - Oh, hey, we understand that.
00:05:50 - I'm going to tell her later.
00:05:52 There are a lot of things I'm going to tell her.
00:05:55 Like she's beautiful.
00:05:58 - Welcome aboard.
00:05:59 I'm Captain Steubing.
00:06:00 Enjoy your cruise.
00:06:02 - Hello, I'm Captain Steubing.
00:06:04 - How do you do, sir?
00:06:05 - Vernon Kroehler is my name.
00:06:07 And my staff.
00:06:09 - Oh, how do you do?
00:06:11 I'm Taffy Martino.
00:06:12 - It's my pleasure.
00:06:15 - Elwood Riggs.
00:06:16 - How do you do?
00:06:17 - I'm Ox.
00:06:20 - Yes.
00:06:21 Welcome aboard.
00:06:22 I understand you'll be dining at my table tonight.
00:06:24 I look forward to it.
00:06:25 - As do I, sir.
00:06:27 - Until then, enjoy your cruise.
00:06:30 - I'm sure we will, Captain.
00:06:36 - Hi, welcome aboard.
00:06:37 I hope you enjoy your cruise.
00:06:38 - We will, we will.
00:06:40 - Allow me to--
00:06:41 - Allow me.
00:06:42 - She's going to allow me to--
00:06:43 - I can help you much better.
00:06:44 - Gentlemen, I can resolve your difficulty.
00:06:46 - Thank you.
00:06:47 Miss Martino, business.
00:06:49 - For a pleasure.
00:06:56 - With you, everything is heist, heist, heist.
00:07:07 - Still can't get over it.
00:07:09 This cruise is such a surprise.
00:07:11 - Yeah, well, us lawyers know how to keep a secret.
00:07:14 - I rather wish you hadn't kept quite such a secret,
00:07:17 but I had a heck of a time rearranging my schedule.
00:07:20 This is the busy season for us designers, you know.
00:07:23 - Well, that's it.
00:07:25 We need to get away from business.
00:07:27 And what could be nicer?
00:07:29 Sun, Mexico, you and me?
00:07:33 - Is it still just you and me after all these years?
00:07:36 - What a question.
00:07:38 - You never answer that question, though.
00:07:40 You always say, "What a question."
00:07:44 - Uh, look, why don't you--
00:07:46 why don't you go to the boat and go down to the cabin
00:07:49 and freshen up a little bit?
00:07:51 I have to take care of some business.
00:07:53 - What business?
00:07:54 You just said it.
00:07:55 - I just want to call the office
00:07:56 and tell them not to bother me with any business.
00:08:00 - Alan, what's going on?
00:08:03 I know.
00:08:04 What a question.
00:08:06 - Yes.
00:08:07 - Darling, I'm sorry I'm late.
00:08:13 - Kathy, what are you doing here?
00:08:15 Didn't you get my telegram?
00:08:17 - What telegram?
00:08:18 - I wired you last night.
00:08:20 My wife found the tickets.
00:08:21 She thinks they're for her.
00:08:23 She's here.
00:08:25 - So I get left high and dry again.
00:08:28 - Darling, I'm really sorry.
00:08:30 I really am, but you can't come.
00:08:33 - I'm coming.
00:08:34 Look, Alan, I'll buy my own ticket.
00:08:37 - No, you don't mean that.
00:08:39 - I'm staying, Alan.
00:08:41 I think it's about time you decided.
00:08:43 Who's it going to be?
00:08:44 Barbara or me?
00:08:46 - What a question.
00:08:49 - That's a wrap.
00:08:53 - That's a wrap.
00:08:54 - I'll see you when I get back.
00:08:55 Wait, when we get back.
00:08:56 All right?
00:08:57 Thank you so much.
00:08:58 Thank you.
00:08:59 - Bye-bye.
00:09:00 - Bye.
00:09:02 - Hi, Julie.
00:09:03 What are you doing?
00:09:04 - Just getting some fresh air.
00:09:06 - I think I'll join you.
00:09:07 - Me too.
00:09:08 - They're not here yet.
00:09:10 - Who?
00:09:11 - Them.
00:09:13 Hi.
00:09:17 I'm Julie McCruise, your co-director.
00:09:20 Hello.
00:09:21 - How are you?
00:09:22 - Please excuse Julie.
00:09:23 She's just never seen stars before.
00:09:25 So I hope you enjoyed your cruise.
00:09:26 Please sail with us again.
00:09:28 - Excuse me.
00:09:29 I'm the ship's doctor.
00:09:31 Would you mind?
00:09:32 It's for a patient.
00:09:33 - Oh, what's the patient's name?
00:09:35 - Adam Bricker.
00:09:37 - There you go, Adam.
00:09:41 - Thank you.
00:09:42 - Come on now, come on.
00:09:44 I'm sure the teagues want to go to their suite and relax.
00:09:47 I'm Captain Merrill Stubing.
00:09:49 - Hello.
00:09:50 - May I show you the way?
00:09:51 - Sure.
00:09:52 - I'm sorry about that.
00:09:53 My crew just seems to be a little starstruck.
00:09:56 - Do you mind?
00:09:59 - Thank you.
00:10:00 - All right, just wait.
00:10:02 All right, just wait.
00:10:04 (upbeat music)
00:10:09 (crowd cheering)
00:10:14 (upbeat music)
00:10:19 (crowd cheering)
00:10:24 (upbeat music)
00:10:29 (upbeat music)
00:10:34 (upbeat music)
00:10:39 (upbeat music)
00:10:44 (upbeat music)
00:10:49 (upbeat music)
00:10:51 - I can't believe it.
00:10:52 Do you know who's on this ship?
00:10:53 - Who, who?
00:10:54 - Roz and Bill.
00:10:55 - Oh, wonderful.
00:10:57 (crowd laughing)
00:10:59 - I think, you know, this time our marriage is gonna work out.
00:11:06 We just have to be a little more careful, you know,
00:11:09 not to step on each other's sensitive ego.
00:11:12 - That's right.
00:11:13 I'm a star and you have to live with that.
00:11:15 And you were a star and I have to live with that.
00:11:18 - Where is that?
00:11:20 - You know what I mean.
00:11:24 Aw.
00:11:25 Why don't we go back to the suite and have a little nap?
00:11:32 I haven't slept with a star in a long time.
00:11:34 - I never have.
00:11:37 Except you.
00:11:41 - That's right.
00:11:43 (upbeat music)
00:11:48 - Has Ox finished putting the bugs in Roz and Bill's cabin yet?
00:11:54 (upbeat music)
00:11:59 (upbeat music)
00:12:04 (water splashes)
00:12:06 (crowd laughing)
00:12:09 (upbeat music)
00:12:12 (water splashes)
00:12:15 - You'll never believe where he put the last one.
00:12:20 He flushed it down the toilet.
00:12:22 Why couldn't we get someone with half a brain?
00:12:25 - We did.
00:12:26 (crowd laughing)
00:12:29 - Alan, for heaven's sake, we're here for the sun.
00:12:34 I'm going to go back bronzed and beautiful
00:12:36 and you're going to go back looking like a dead fish.
00:12:39 - Or a dead duck.
00:12:43 I gotta go call the office.
00:12:45 - Now listen, sit down and relax and forget about business.
00:12:49 Nobody's indispensable.
00:12:50 Remember, we can all be replaced.
00:12:52 Alan!
00:12:55 And you must be Barbara Danvers.
00:12:57 - No, you must have us confused with some other Alan and Barbara Danvers.
00:13:02 - I mean, I don't remember ever--
00:13:04 - Alan, you made me the happiest woman in the world.
00:13:08 - Barbara, I swear to you, I have no idea what she's talking about.
00:13:12 - I'm talking about my divorce.
00:13:14 Alan handled my case.
00:13:16 - Well, I've got so many clients, I--
00:13:20 - Oh, you must excuse my husband.
00:13:23 He's overworked and overtired, being burning the candle at both ends.
00:13:27 That's old Alan.
00:13:29 - I'm Kathy Randall.
00:13:31 - Hello.
00:13:32 - You're not--
00:13:33 You're not the Kathy Randall who designs separates for coquette casuals, are you?
00:13:38 - Yes.
00:13:39 Are you in fashion?
00:13:40 - Yes, I design fabrics for Wild Weave.
00:13:43 - Wild Weave?
00:13:45 This is spooky.
00:13:47 Did you see what I did with your mad plaids?
00:13:49 - Did I?
00:13:50 I flipped over them.
00:13:52 Well, why don't you sit down, join us for a drink?
00:13:54 - Well...
00:13:55 - Come on, it'd be nice to have somebody to talk to who's in the business.
00:14:00 - Alan here thinks Chenille is married to the captain.
00:14:03 - I heard they broke up.
00:14:07 - Boy, if that's a movie they're rehearsing, it's going to be X-rated.
00:14:17 - Logs are working, huh?
00:14:19 - Right.
00:14:20 - All right, now all we have to do is keep tabs on them.
00:14:24 And at the right moment, it's into the vault and we make the switch.
00:14:29 - Boy, that looks like the real thing.
00:14:32 - Good going, boss.
00:14:37 You already got it.
00:14:39 - Are you having fun?
00:14:55 - Fun?
00:14:57 It's fabulous.
00:14:59 It's a sunset, isn't it? I can feel it.
00:15:01 - Yeah.
00:15:02 - Oh, Steve, you've never seen a sunset.
00:15:05 Put your hand on the railing.
00:15:08 And let me tell you about some of the sunsets I remember seeing, all right?
00:15:14 - Okay.
00:15:16 - Now look out there.
00:15:17 I don't know if I can do a really beautiful sunset justice.
00:15:26 But if you've never been able to see,
00:15:28 and you thought you'd seen every lovely, exquisite and magnificent color in the world,
00:15:34 it's as if God then said to you,
00:15:37 "You think that's something? Take a look at this."
00:15:40 Can you see it?
00:15:42 - Yes, I see it.
00:15:45 - Do you really?
00:15:47 - Yes, Jenny.
00:15:48 I see the sunset.
00:15:50 I see two sunsets.
00:15:54 I see the sunset that's actually out there now.
00:15:58 I see an even more dazzling sunset that you've just helped me see.
00:16:03 - I don't understand, Steve.
00:16:07 - Jenny,
00:16:08 I had an operation after I left school.
00:16:12 I have my sight.
00:16:15 - Steve, that's fantastic.
00:16:22 I'm so happy for you.
00:16:24 - But why didn't I tell you before?
00:16:26 I don't know, it's just that...
00:16:29 - Steve, you of all people,
00:16:31 you're not feeling sorry for me, are you?
00:16:33 - Are you kidding?
00:16:35 - I don't feel sorry for myself.
00:16:38 I'm just glad to be here.
00:16:41 To be part of a world where there really are miracles like that sunset.
00:16:46 And you're being able to see it.
00:16:49 (gentle music)
00:16:51 - Isn't she beautiful?
00:17:17 - Oh, yes.
00:17:19 Well, hey, what's holding you up?
00:17:22 Why don't you go over and sit with her?
00:17:24 - Oh, come on, Julie, you saw what happened today.
00:17:27 Doc's got eyes for her.
00:17:28 I can't compete with that.
00:17:30 - Go for it.
00:17:32 Doc doesn't have a patent on charm.
00:17:34 You're pretty terrific yourself, you know.
00:17:37 - Really?
00:17:39 - Hmm?
00:17:40 I mean, look at that face.
00:17:42 With that cute smile
00:17:45 and those warm brown eyes.
00:17:48 And that hair that any girl would love to run her fingers through.
00:17:53 Well, go for it.
00:17:55 You're one of the most charming officers on board this ship.
00:17:58 - Gee, if you put it that way.
00:18:01 - Come on.
00:18:03 - Come on.
00:18:04 Give it your best shot.
00:18:06 Go ahead.
00:18:09 - Good evening.
00:18:14 - Hi.
00:18:15 - Hi.
00:18:16 How would you like to have dinner with one of the most charming officers on this ship?
00:18:19 - Sure.
00:18:20 - Let's have it.
00:18:21 - Thanks for the introduction.
00:18:29 So coquettish.
00:18:30 - I'm sure you'll enjoy Porto by Honor, Mr. Poehler.
00:18:38 I find it fascinating.
00:18:40 - I look forward to it.
00:18:43 - Thank you.
00:18:44 - Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Teague.
00:18:50 - Hello.
00:18:51 - Julie.
00:18:52 Oh, I'm so glad this is one of your casual nights.
00:18:55 I just didn't feel like dressing up this evening.
00:18:58 - Where's our table, dear?
00:19:00 - Oh, just an intimate table for two
00:19:02 where Bill and I can hold hands and
00:19:04 whisper sweet nothings.
00:19:07 - Ah, yes.
00:19:08 - Like you did in the vain and the vengeful.
00:19:12 Right before you shot him.
00:19:14 - Oh, I'm not packing a gun tonight.
00:19:16 - Right.
00:19:19 Oh, excuse me.
00:19:20 Your table's right over here.
00:19:22 - All right.
00:19:23 - The bread's at four o'clock.
00:19:29 The wine's at five o'clock.
00:19:30 The salt and pepper, 7.30, about.
00:19:33 - You're showing me the ropes again, Steve.
00:19:37 Just like when we first met, when I was a scared little kid.
00:19:41 - You're not a kid anymore.
00:19:43 - No.
00:19:44 You know, you were pretty rough on me in school.
00:19:47 Letting me walk into walls and everything.
00:19:50 But I want to thank you for it.
00:19:52 I don't do it anymore.
00:19:53 - I've noticed.
00:19:54 - You know, my brother's probably sitting at home
00:19:58 right this very minute,
00:20:00 worried that I've strolled off the stern.
00:20:03 There's a rose on the table, isn't there?
00:20:07 - Uh-huh.
00:20:10 - Rose is my favorite flower.
00:20:12 Oh.
00:20:15 Thank you.
00:20:18 You know, I've missed you.
00:20:20 - Have you?
00:20:22 - Of course.
00:20:24 How could a girl forget the first boy to let her walk into a wall?
00:20:29 It's much more memorable than her first kiss, though.
00:20:35 - I guess I'm too late for the first kiss, huh?
00:20:37 - I'm afraid so.
00:20:38 A boy named Bobby Hoffmeyer beat you to it.
00:20:41 - Oh.
00:20:42 Is Bobby a good kisser?
00:20:44 - Well, let me put it to you this way.
00:20:46 He'll never earn a living at it.
00:20:49 - I just don't see why you had to invite her to dinner.
00:20:55 - Because I like her.
00:20:57 We have a lot in common.
00:20:59 - Hello, Barbara.
00:21:02 - Hi, Alan.
00:21:04 - Why don't you sit down?
00:21:07 - Thank you.
00:21:08 - You know, it's probably none of my business, but, uh,
00:21:15 why is a great-looking girl like you on this cruise alone?
00:21:19 - Well, the truth of the matter is, I was going to have company,
00:21:25 but his wife found the ticket.
00:21:27 - Excuse me.
00:21:30 A little cork in the rip.
00:21:34 - So he's stuck at home with her,
00:21:37 and you're here having the time of your life.
00:21:40 - Something like that.
00:21:42 - You know, we've been on this ship for five hours,
00:21:49 and we haven't had a fight.
00:21:52 - And they said it wouldn't last.
00:21:55 - You know what I like to do after dinner?
00:21:57 - Ah, what?
00:22:00 - I like to go back to our cabin and...
00:22:02 - Yes?
00:22:03 - Take a good look at the new script.
00:22:06 - But...
00:22:09 Oh, honey, not tonight.
00:22:12 - Swindis, you have to read it soon.
00:22:14 We start shooting in a month.
00:22:16 - I know, I know, but tonight, honey,
00:22:19 let it just be us.
00:22:21 - Yes.
00:22:24 You're right.
00:22:26 You're right.
00:22:28 You know, I'm glad to be here.
00:22:30 I really am.
00:22:32 Away from Hollywood,
00:22:34 that world of make-believe we live in.
00:22:38 It's great to be just plain folks before a few days.
00:22:42 - Yes, it's really wonderful.
00:22:45 Oh, honey, by the way, where's the wine stew?
00:22:48 - The wine stew?
00:22:50 Oh, it's over there, behind those extras there.
00:22:54 - Those are people, Bill.
00:22:59 - Hmm?
00:23:00 - People.
00:23:01 - Oh, yes.
00:23:02 To the start of a beautiful relationship.
00:23:06 You're gonna break your arms.
00:23:09 - Miss Martino,
00:23:11 might I have a moment of your time?
00:23:13 - Sure.
00:23:14 - Just a moment.
00:23:16 - Excuse me.
00:23:17 - Excuse me.
00:23:19 - Huh?
00:23:24 - Ditch the doctor.
00:23:25 - But...
00:23:26 - The captain told me the assistant purser
00:23:28 is in charge of the vault.
00:23:30 - The cute one with the messy hair?
00:23:33 - Gotcha.
00:23:35 - Toodles, Doc.
00:23:38 Thanks for a lovely evening.
00:23:40 - Hey.
00:23:45 - Mind if I join you?
00:23:46 - Not at all, I was just leaving.
00:23:48 - Excuse me.
00:23:49 - Come here.
00:23:52 - Don't change your hair for me.
00:23:55 Not if you care for me.
00:23:57 - Excuse me.
00:23:58 - Listen, Baker,
00:24:12 you gotta do me this one favor, please.
00:24:14 See, I really dig this blonde,
00:24:16 and she goes for me too, you know?
00:24:18 So all I am asking you to do
00:24:20 is just take my shift for tonight, okay?
00:24:22 Is that a yes or a no?
00:24:25 - Oh, Miss Rogers, Mr. Teague, good evening.
00:24:27 - Good evening.
00:24:28 - Enjoy your dinner?
00:24:29 - Oh, it was divine.
00:24:30 Now all I want is bed.
00:24:32 - Ah, yes.
00:24:33 Nothing like a good night's sleep.
00:24:34 - Oh, that too.
00:24:35 - Allow me, darling.
00:24:38 Now, will you please put this in the vault?
00:24:44 - Yes, sir.
00:24:45 - Will you come this way, please?
00:24:48 - Oh.
00:24:49 - They're putting this in the vault?
00:24:51 - Yes, sir.
00:24:52 - Oh, I see.
00:24:53 - Oh.
00:24:54 - They're putting it in the vault now.
00:24:56 - They're putting it in the vault.
00:25:00 Excellent.
00:25:01 Excellent.
00:25:02 - Not exactly Fort Knox,
00:25:12 but not exactly your average piggy bank either.
00:25:14 - Uh-huh.
00:25:15 - Well, I'm sure it'll be safe,
00:25:17 but if not, back to Tiffany's.
00:25:19 (laughing)
00:25:21 - There we go.
00:25:23 There you are, sir.
00:25:33 Right in your box, Parmanat Suite 242,
00:25:36 safe and sound for the night.
00:25:37 - Well, I hope so, because if it gets lost,
00:25:39 it's gonna come out of your sunlattery.
00:25:41 - Then you better hope I live to be 194.
00:25:44 (laughing)
00:25:47 (door opening)
00:25:49 - Good night.
00:25:52 - Good night.
00:25:53 - Ciao.
00:25:54 - It's in the safe.
00:26:00 Give me 10 minutes to take care of the purse, sir.
00:26:03 - All set.
00:26:04 - All right, gentlemen.
00:26:06 Let's go.
00:26:08 - Hey.
00:26:11 Is the cruise over already?
00:26:15 (laughing)
00:26:17 - It's kind of warm for this time of the year, isn't it?
00:26:31 - Hey, all set?
00:26:34 - Right.
00:26:35 Now, you remember what you're supposed to do.
00:26:37 You stay out here and don't let anybody in.
00:26:39 - You can count on me, boss.
00:26:43 (laughing)
00:26:46 (sad music)
00:26:49 (door opening)
00:26:51 - Boy, it's hot in here.
00:27:16 (sad music)
00:27:18 - I can turn this off.
00:27:22 - It's stuck.
00:27:29 - Max!
00:27:32 Max!
00:27:33 (laughing)
00:27:35 - Boy, it's hot in here.
00:27:44 - Turn that thing off.
00:27:46 - It's off.
00:27:55 - Give me that.
00:27:59 - I'll wait outside.
00:28:01 - There you are, cutie pie.
00:28:09 What you doing behind this big window?
00:28:12 What you doing behind this big, silly desk?
00:28:15 - Oh, I, um, I have to work.
00:28:18 - Look at that face.
00:28:20 That tension.
00:28:22 And those shoulders.
00:28:24 Hey, you know what you need?
00:28:26 A good massage.
00:28:28 Come on, let Taffy take care of you.
00:28:41 Now, why don't you park your old bod right here
00:28:45 and let me work on it.
00:28:47 Roll over on your tummy.
00:28:49 There.
00:28:52 Good.
00:28:53 Now just relax.
00:29:02 - Oh, yes.
00:29:03 - Why?
00:29:04 You're gonna feel like a new man once I get started.
00:29:09 - Oh, I'm sure I will.
00:29:11 Go.
00:29:12 Oh.
00:29:21 - When you've had enough, just say stop.
00:29:23 - Stop, stop.
00:29:25 - But for?
00:29:26 - She said stop.
00:29:28 - Oh.
00:29:29 - I mean, I guess you want me to keep going.
00:29:32 - Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:29:34 Go.
00:29:36 (blow dryer whirring)
00:29:39 - Uh.
00:29:44 Gopher.
00:29:48 - Yeah?
00:29:49 - Do you like to dance?
00:29:52 - What do you mean, with you?
00:29:54 - Yeah.
00:29:55 - Dancing is my life.
00:29:56 - Great.
00:29:57 (humming)
00:30:00 (audience laughing)
00:30:03 (blow dryer whirring)
00:30:09 - How's it coming?
00:30:24 - Just a little more.
00:30:26 But the drill is overheating.
00:30:27 - Don't stop.
00:30:29 (blow dryer whirring)
00:30:32 - What happened?
00:30:43 - The drill burnt out.
00:30:45 - But we got it.
00:30:50 - Clean as a whistle.
00:30:55 - Okay, now to get the diamond and make the switch.
00:30:59 - I wouldn't trade this night for a million dollars.
00:31:06 - A million point two.
00:31:08 (audience laughing)
00:31:23 (dramatic music)
00:31:27 (blow dryer whirring)
00:31:31 (dramatic music)
00:31:34 (dramatic music)
00:31:53 (blow dryer whirring)
00:31:56 - I gotta stop, boss.
00:32:08 - Now what?
00:32:09 What's wrong?
00:32:10 - I can't take this heat.
00:32:12 (audience laughing)
00:32:16 (audience laughing)
00:32:19 - Oh, sorry.
00:32:23 - Grab that.
00:32:24 (audience laughing)
00:32:27 (dramatic music)
00:32:31 (blow dryer whirring)
00:32:34 (bell ringing)
00:32:39 (dramatic music)
00:32:43 (bell ringing)
00:32:46 (dramatic music)
00:32:49 (bell ringing)
00:32:52 (dramatic music)
00:32:55 - Got it.
00:33:06 - Wonderful, wonderful, Elvis.
00:33:10 No more worries.
00:33:12 From now on, we're lying on the beach, basking in the sun.
00:33:15 - Don't count on me.
00:33:17 I'm going to Iceland.
00:33:18 (audience laughing)
00:33:21 - Oh, come on, you sweet thing, you.
00:33:31 Come to daddy.
00:33:32 (dramatic music)
00:33:37 (dramatic music)
00:33:40 - Atta baby, come on.
00:33:46 (dramatic music)
00:33:49 (audience laughing)
00:34:04 - Oh, boss, the hole's not big enough,
00:34:07 and the diamond is too large.
00:34:09 - Then we'll have to drill another hole.
00:34:12 - With what?
00:34:14 - With one of the other ones.
00:34:15 You had four special drills made, didn't you?
00:34:18 - That's right.
00:34:19 They were in Ox's bag.
00:34:21 - Well, then, get them from Ox's bag.
00:34:25 - Okay, but if I'm not back in a hurry, it's not my fault.
00:34:29 - Hmm?
00:34:31 - Ox left his bag in Los Angeles.
00:34:34 (audience laughing)
00:34:36 - Of course he did.
00:34:38 (dramatic music)
00:34:41 (upbeat music)
00:34:50 (upbeat music)
00:34:53 - Good morning.
00:35:05 - Oh, hi.
00:35:06 - Well, we were just gonna go play ping pong.
00:35:08 We'll see you tomorrow.
00:35:09 - Alan.
00:35:10 - Oh, I wanted to show you the sketches for my fall line.
00:35:13 - Oh, I'd love to see them.
00:35:14 - Sure you don't wanna go play ping pong?
00:35:17 - Well, not now, Alan, no.
00:35:19 - Oh.
00:35:20 Well, I guess I'll just go play ping.
00:35:24 (audience laughing)
00:35:27 - Just one picture to prove to my brother
00:35:30 I didn't fall overboard.
00:35:32 - Okay.
00:35:33 There you go.
00:35:37 Smile.
00:35:41 That's it.
00:35:43 - Thanks.
00:35:44 - How about one of me?
00:35:46 - Well, how the heck am I gonna do that?
00:35:48 - Come over here.
00:35:50 That's it, turn around.
00:35:53 Here, take the camera.
00:35:55 Hold it up like this.
00:35:58 And here, I'll do this.
00:35:59 And I'm gonna look to the right.
00:36:01 And press this button to take the picture.
00:36:03 - Are we taking pictures or fooling around here?
00:36:06 - I didn't know I had a choice.
00:36:08 (audience laughing)
00:36:09 (laughing)
00:36:10 Just wanna make sure you got one of me smiling.
00:36:13 Okay.
00:36:14 - Okay.
00:36:16 - Is that all right? - Yeah.
00:36:18 - Hey, Jenny.
00:36:22 - Oh, hi, Doug.
00:36:23 - Jenny Lang, Captain Stubing.
00:36:26 - Steve Hollis.
00:36:27 - Hello.
00:36:28 - How do you do?
00:36:29 - Steve Adam Bricker.
00:36:30 - Hi, how are you?
00:36:31 - It's very nice to meet you.
00:36:33 - Oh, you're very tall, about 6'1".
00:36:36 Blue eyes?
00:36:42 Your sideburns are graying.
00:36:44 (laughing)
00:36:45 And, uh...
00:36:46 About 240.
00:36:49 (audience laughing)
00:36:52 - It's remarkable.
00:36:53 You can tell all that just by touching my face.
00:36:57 - No, Doug described you to me yesterday.
00:37:01 (audience laughing)
00:37:04 - 240.
00:37:08 - 210?
00:37:09 (audience laughing)
00:37:10 - That's close enough.
00:37:11 (audience laughing)
00:37:14 - Hand me that padding, Taffy.
00:37:21 - Are you decent?
00:37:24 - He hasn't been decent in years.
00:37:26 - What's he doing in there?
00:37:28 - Plan A didn't work, so he's working on Plan B.
00:37:32 - Patience, my friend.
00:37:33 Momentarily, you will see the results
00:37:35 of my remarkable genius.
00:37:38 - Genius, huh?
00:37:39 So how come we don't have the diamond?
00:37:41 - Oh, relax, so would you live longer?
00:37:44 - Is that all you ever do, fix your face?
00:37:46 - I think she's beautiful.
00:37:49 - Thanks, Ox.
00:37:50 - You're welcome.
00:37:51 - Ladies and gentlemen, introducing Plan B.
00:37:55 (dramatic music)
00:38:00 - It's incredible.
00:38:07 You really are a genius.
00:38:09 - Hi, Captain Stubing.
00:38:11 - Did you see Mr. Krohler in the bathroom?
00:38:14 - This is Krohler, you ox.
00:38:18 - Fantastic.
00:38:21 - It's perfect.
00:38:22 - Of course, I made it.
00:38:25 Now I'll go down and get them to open the vault.
00:38:29 - You think the purse will do it for you, huh?
00:38:31 - Of course, I'm the captain.
00:38:36 - So well.
00:38:37 - Daffy, you've got to keep Captain Stubing busy.
00:38:40 - If he's the captain, where's Krohler?
00:38:43 - Hi, Ann.
00:38:58 - Oh, hi, Alan.
00:38:59 You haven't seen Kathy, have you?
00:39:02 - Me?
00:39:03 Why should I have seen Kathy?
00:39:04 - Well, we were supposed to meet.
00:39:06 - Oh.
00:39:07 You know, you spend an awful lot of time together.
00:39:12 What do you find to talk about?
00:39:15 - Oh, we're two women in the same business.
00:39:18 What would you expect us to talk about?
00:39:20 Men.
00:39:21 Well, I think I'd better go and find her.
00:39:25 - Do you mind if I tag along?
00:39:28 Maybe the three of us could find something to do together.
00:39:31 - Well, okay.
00:39:33 We're going to the beauty shop for a wash and set.
00:39:36 - Oh.
00:39:37 Well, I guess I'll just stand up here and watch my hair curl.
00:40:02 - How about another lap?
00:40:03 - Oh, not me.
00:40:04 I've had it.
00:40:05 You always were a better swimmer than me.
00:40:07 - What did you say?
00:40:08 - I said you always were, but--
00:40:09 (yells)
00:40:10 (Ann laughs)
00:40:11 You rat!
00:40:12 You heard what I said.
00:40:14 You just wanted to keep me talking so you could zero in on me.
00:40:18 - Oh.
00:40:31 Oh.
00:40:32 Oh, there you go.
00:40:36 - Oh, thanks.
00:40:39 I'm having fun.
00:40:40 - I'm not exactly in pain either.
00:40:43 - I've got some suntan lotion.
00:40:45 You want to put some on my back?
00:40:46 - Sure.
00:40:47 Are you worried about burning?
00:40:50 - No, I don't burn.
00:40:52 - Just want to deepen your tan.
00:40:54 - Oh, I care less about tan.
00:41:00 - And what am I doing this for?
00:41:02 - Oh, that's why.
00:41:06 - Gopher, where were you last night?
00:41:13 We missed your money at the poker game.
00:41:14 - Oh, Taffy and I were just tripping the light fantastic.
00:41:18 - I've seen you dance.
00:41:19 Tripping is the right word.
00:41:21 - Hey, don't be a sore loser, Doc.
00:41:23 Taffy just happens to dig my animal magnetism.
00:41:26 (growls)
00:41:27 - Probably just wanted some comedy relief.
00:41:29 (laughs)
00:41:30 - Unfortunately, I don't have enough time
00:41:32 to show you the ship, Miss Martino.
00:41:34 - Just call me Taffy, Merrill.
00:41:36 - Well, I gotta go back to work.
00:41:40 You two keep fighting it out for a second and third.
00:41:43 - I just know you're gonna love this kid.
00:41:47 He has everything.
00:41:48 He has warmth, heart, sensitivity, comedy, drama.
00:41:52 - Well, does it have something in it for you?
00:41:54 Or is it good?
00:41:56 - Now listen, they're guaranteeing us
00:41:58 one million dollars apiece, each of us.
00:42:00 I mean, how much good can it get?
00:42:02 - All right, here we go.
00:42:10 - All right, boss.
00:42:11 Good luck.
00:42:13 - Thanks.
00:42:14 - Hi, Captain.
00:42:21 - Mr. Smith.
00:42:24 - Captain.
00:42:25 Boy, that was a short tour.
00:42:27 - Yes.
00:42:28 All she did was talk about you.
00:42:30 - Oh, really?
00:42:31 What's the matter with your voice?
00:42:34 - Laryngitis.
00:42:35 Just got it.
00:42:36 - Well, it's kind of nice, sir.
00:42:40 Makes you sound like Robert Redford.
00:42:42 With laryngitis.
00:42:44 - Look, a passenger asked me to put this
00:42:50 in the vault for her.
00:42:52 Will you open it for me, please?
00:42:55 - Before I open the vault,
00:42:57 can you prove you're Captain Stewart?
00:42:59 - Open the vault or you're fired.
00:43:04 - That's good enough for me.
00:43:06 - Good morning, Miss McCoy.
00:43:15 - Good morning, sir.
00:43:16 - Gover?
00:43:20 - Yes, sir.
00:43:22 - Gover?
00:43:23 Gover?
00:43:26 - Weren't you just behind me?
00:43:34 - What do you mean, just behind you?
00:43:36 I finally got rid of Miss Martino.
00:43:39 I told her I was going up to the bridge.
00:43:41 Lord, how I hate those guided tours.
00:43:43 - Hey, your voice is better.
00:43:45 - Better than what?
00:43:46 - I mean, your laryngitis.
00:43:48 It's gone.
00:43:49 - I never had laryngitis.
00:43:51 - Not even as a kid?
00:43:53 - Mr. Smith, what is going on?
00:43:56 - Well, sir, excuse me, I'm a little confused.
00:43:58 Didn't you just ask me to open the vault
00:44:00 so you could put a jewelry box in it?
00:44:02 - No.
00:44:04 - Oh.
00:44:07 Now, sir, you asked me to come in here
00:44:12 and open the vault.
00:44:13 - And you were talking like this.
00:44:14 - I was talking like that.
00:44:15 - No, like this.
00:44:20 - There can be only one explanation.
00:44:23 Gopher, you're working too hard.
00:44:25 Now, there's gotta be another explanation.
00:44:29 (laughing)
00:44:31 (dramatic music)
00:44:34 (laughing)
00:44:37 (laughing)
00:44:51 (dramatic music)
00:44:58 (dramatic music)
00:45:00 (dramatic music)
00:45:29 - Captain Steubing, I've been looking for you all day.
00:45:31 - Not now.
00:45:32 - Well, sir, what's the--
00:45:33 - Dismissed.
00:45:34 - Yes, sir.
00:45:35 - Hi, Captain.
00:45:43 - Oh, Isaac, have you seen me around here recently?
00:45:46 - Not until now.
00:45:47 - Yes, well, if you do see me, let me know immediately.
00:45:50 - Sure, you'll be the first to know.
00:45:52 - All right, sir.
00:45:53 - Hey, Isaac, have you seen Captain Steubing today?
00:45:58 - Yeah, and he's acting kind of strange.
00:46:00 - Oh, I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks so.
00:46:03 (dramatic music)
00:46:11 (laughing)
00:46:14 (door opening)
00:46:28 (door closing)
00:46:29 (sighs)
00:46:35 - Captain Steubing.
00:46:53 Wow.
00:46:55 Well, it's a beautiful day, isn't it?
00:46:57 - Yeah, oh, beautiful.
00:46:58 - I say, Captain, you better be careful.
00:47:01 It sounds like you're coming out of laryngitis.
00:47:03 (laughing)
00:47:06 (sighs)
00:47:12 - Good morning.
00:47:16 - Hi.
00:47:18 - Hello, Jenny, it's Julie.
00:47:22 - Where's Steve?
00:47:23 - He went to get some postcards.
00:47:24 - Uh, Julie, do you have a minute?
00:47:26 I could use some girl talk.
00:47:28 - Well, sure, of course.
00:47:29 Fire away.
00:47:31 - Does Steve look as nice as he is?
00:47:37 - Ah.
00:47:38 Well, that depends on your taste.
00:47:42 He's okay if you like guys about six feet tall,
00:47:46 dark hair, incredible hazel eyes,
00:47:50 and a perfect smile.
00:47:52 - A real uggo, huh?
00:47:54 - Yeah.
00:47:55 - But, you know, it's your problem.
00:47:56 You picked him, not me.
00:47:57 - And you make sure you don't.
00:47:59 He's my uggo.
00:48:00 - I promise, I promise.
00:48:01 See you later.
00:48:02 - Okay.
00:48:03 - Bye-bye.
00:48:04 - So what do you think?
00:48:08 - It's so sad.
00:48:11 So tragic.
00:48:13 - Yeah?
00:48:15 - To think they killed a tree for this.
00:48:20 - It's not the first one to admit it needs work.
00:48:22 - It needs a burial.
00:48:24 - Oh, William.
00:48:29 Do we have to do this picture?
00:48:32 Isn't it enough that we're back together again?
00:48:36 - Listen, love.
00:48:37 We owe it to our art.
00:48:39 We owe it to our public.
00:48:41 We owe it to our industry.
00:48:42 And trust me, we owe it to our jeweler.
00:48:47 - Well, if I'm going to do it,
00:48:50 we'll just have to rewrite the opening scene.
00:48:53 - No!
00:48:54 It's very powerful.
00:48:56 Now just visualize it, huh?
00:48:58 We open with a big close-up of you as an old hag.
00:49:01 Then we cut to me,
00:49:03 a young, handsome cavalry officer
00:49:06 riding a white stallion.
00:49:08 I fight a few battles, have a few love affairs,
00:49:10 a couple of soliloquies,
00:49:12 and then back to you.
00:49:13 Big close-up of your hand,
00:49:15 your fingers tapping,
00:49:17 tapping nervously as you think about me.
00:49:20 Then a tight angle of your ear
00:49:23 as you listen to me galloping,
00:49:26 galloping away into the sunset.
00:49:29 - And then a close-up of my foot as I kick you in the rear.
00:49:32 - Please, dear, don't be over-closed, mind.
00:49:34 - Oh, Bill.
00:49:35 Look, why don't we just...
00:49:38 Let's leave it to the director, okay?
00:49:40 - That's good thinking.
00:49:41 - Who is the director?
00:49:44 - Well, funny you should ask.
00:49:46 - Not you.
00:49:47 - And why not?
00:49:48 I think I have a pretty good idea where to put a camera.
00:49:50 - I have one suggestion.
00:49:52 - Why do you always have to let your ego get in the way?
00:50:00 - My ego?
00:50:01 You have the biggest part.
00:50:02 You are the director, and you hired the writer.
00:50:05 - I did not.
00:50:07 I wrote it.
00:50:10 - I should have known.
00:50:12 You spelled my name wrong.
00:50:14 You, a young cavalry officer?
00:50:18 Who's gonna play your kid brother?
00:50:20 Buddy Epson?
00:50:21 - I happen to have the body of a 20-year-old.
00:50:24 - We'll get to her later.
00:50:25 - Now, that's beneath you.
00:50:26 Now, that's really beneath you.
00:50:27 Besides, that's an old joke.
00:50:29 - Takes one to know one.
00:50:30 - I see.
00:50:34 That's the thanks I get for trying to revive
00:50:37 your sagging career.
00:50:40 - That does it.
00:50:41 - Listen, sweetheart.
00:50:43 I think we are fighting.
00:50:45 - You call this fighting, honey?
00:50:47 Oh, this isn't fighting, Snookums.
00:50:50 This is fighting.
00:50:52 - I tell you, it's frightening to look up and see your own face in the mirror.
00:50:57 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:50:59 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:51:01 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:51:03 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:51:05 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:51:07 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:51:09 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:51:11 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:51:13 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:51:15 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:51:17 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:51:19 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:51:21 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:51:23 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:51:25 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:51:27 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:51:29 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:51:31 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:51:33 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:51:35 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:51:37 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:51:39 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:51:41 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:51:43 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:51:45 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:51:47 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:51:49 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:51:51 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:51:53 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:51:55 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:51:57 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:51:59 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:52:01 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:52:03 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:52:05 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:52:07 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:52:09 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:52:11 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:52:13 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:52:15 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:52:17 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:52:19 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:52:21 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:52:23 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:52:25 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:52:27 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:52:29 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:52:31 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:52:33 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:52:35 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:52:37 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:52:39 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:52:41 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:52:43 - I'm not afraid of anything.
00:52:45 - You look like you're about to do battle.
00:52:49 - Frankly, sir, I am.
00:52:51 - Frankly, sir, I am.
00:52:53 - Between you and me,
00:52:55 - Between you and me,
00:52:57 - we believe there's a thief on board.
00:52:59 - we believe there's a thief on board.
00:53:01 - No. Really?
00:53:03 - No. Really?
00:53:05 - But don't worry, sir.
00:53:07 - But don't worry, sir.
00:53:09 - Bye.
00:53:11 - Bye.
00:53:13 - Ain't that a coincidence?
00:53:15 - There's another man aboard this ship
00:53:17 - trying to heist that rock.
00:53:19 - trying to heist that rock.
00:53:21 - trying to heist that rock.
00:53:23 - Well...
00:53:25 - Looks as if they're going to make our endeavor
00:53:27 - slightly more complicated.
00:53:29 - I think we should move on to plan C.
00:53:31 - Which one is that?
00:53:33 - It's the one right after B.
00:53:35 - Right.
00:53:37 - Thanks, Taffy.
00:53:39 - Think nothing of it.
00:53:41 - Come on.
00:53:43 - I forgot you were such a good dancer.
00:53:57 - I forgot you were such a good dancer.
00:53:59 - All depends on who I'm dancing with.
00:54:01 - Steve.
00:54:05 - I'm sorry you're
00:54:09 - getting off at Puerto Vallarta.
00:54:11 - getting off at Puerto Vallarta.
00:54:13 - Me too.
00:54:15 - I'm sorry you reminded me.
00:54:17 - Will you call me
00:54:21 - when you get back to L.A.?
00:54:23 - Well, that all depends.
00:54:27 - Is your brother
00:54:29 - bigger than me?
00:54:31 - Yes, he is.
00:54:33 - Well, uh...
00:54:37 - I'll have to think about it.
00:54:39 - You know they're showing a movie in ten minutes.
00:55:01 - Shall we go?
00:55:03 - What's the film?
00:55:05 - An Affair to Remember.
00:55:07 - All right, Alan?
00:55:09 - I just swallowed the olives. Sorry.
00:55:11 - I think I'll pass on the movie.
00:55:13 - Well, come on, Kathy.
00:55:15 - No thanks. I've seen it.
00:55:17 - Well, I guess you two
00:55:19 - are just gonna be stuck with each other.
00:55:21 - See you later.
00:55:23 - Very smooth.
00:55:27 - You'll give away your whole show.
00:55:29 - Me? How about you parking yourself
00:55:31 - under her nose for 24 hours a day?
00:55:33 - Alan, I know it seems
00:55:35 - strange, but...
00:55:37 - when I came on this ship, I thought
00:55:39 - of Barbara as the enemy.
00:55:41 - Now that I know her, I'd really like her for a friend.
00:55:43 - Yeah, well, she's a great girl.
00:55:45 - I don't understand.
00:55:49 - If you feel that way about her, why did you start up with me?
00:55:51 - Well...
00:55:53 - you're a great girl, too.
00:55:55 - I see.
00:55:57 - More the marrier.
00:55:59 - No, no. It's just...
00:56:01 - something's been missing with Barbara and me.
00:56:03 - It's been missing for a long time.
00:56:05 - Sex, Rear as its ugly head.
00:56:09 - No, I mean...
00:56:11 - I mean, I mean just sitting around and talking.
00:56:13 - Hanging out together.
00:56:15 - I've been married to
00:56:17 - Barbara for seven years,
00:56:19 - and I don't know who she is.
00:56:21 - Do you have any idea who I am?
00:56:23 - You are a sweet,
00:56:25 - warm, wonderful person
00:56:27 - who listens.
00:56:29 - And gives.
00:56:31 - And cares.
00:56:33 - No.
00:56:37 - I'm your ex-mistress.
00:56:39 - It's lovely.
00:56:55 - Isn't it?
00:56:57 - Yes, it is.
00:56:59 - Sorry, I couldn't resist.
00:57:11 - Who wants you to?
00:57:15 - I do.
00:57:17 - I have a cabin full of nothing but privacy.
00:57:33 - Jenny, I...
00:57:39 - Oh, Steve.
00:57:41 - Would it help if I say
00:57:43 - that we're meant to be forever?
00:57:45 - I know you.
00:57:49 - You have your sight now.
00:57:51 - Why should you be saddled with a blind man?
00:57:53 - Come on! That's a terrible thing to say.
00:57:55 - It's true, isn't it?
00:57:59 - No.
00:58:01 - Jenny,
00:58:03 - I love you.
00:58:11 - There's a coincidence.
00:58:13 - But...
00:58:15 - But...
00:58:19 - It has to do with Puerto Vallarta, doesn't it?
00:58:21 - You're seeing a girl there.
00:58:27 - I'm engaged to her.
00:58:29 - That was before this happened.
00:58:33 - Steve,
00:58:39 - This never happened.
00:58:41 - Jenny.
00:58:43 - Jenny.
00:58:47 - Let me walk into my own walls.
00:58:49 (Music)
00:58:51 - Guided tours of Puerto Vallarta
00:59:17 - will be leaving off the port side in 10 minutes.
00:59:19 - Here you go, gentlemen.
00:59:23 - Two more eye-opener specials.
00:59:25 - Oops, almost forgot.
00:59:27 - I always wondered why they put celery
00:59:31 - in bloody marriages.
00:59:33 - Yeah, why do they?
00:59:35 - Because lettuce would wilt.
00:59:37 - Well, I guess I'd better go open up some more eyes.
00:59:41 - Let's not let anybody open those curtains
00:59:43 - or my eyes will fall out.
00:59:45 - You know, for a big star,
00:59:47 - you're not a bad guy.
00:59:49 - Yeah, you go downstairs and tell my wife that.
00:59:51 - I've got wife problems of my own.
00:59:53 - Oh?
00:59:55 - That brunette I saw you with last night?
00:59:57 - No, she's my mistress.
00:59:59 - The blonde is my wife.
01:00:01 - They're both a bore?
01:00:03 - They're both a bore.
01:00:07 - And they say Hollywood people are wild, huh?
01:00:09 - Not my idea.
01:00:11 - I'm just a simple guy
01:00:13 - trying to make both ends not meet.
01:00:15 - Look, I, uh...
01:00:17 - I don't want to give you any advice,
01:00:19 - but, uh...
01:00:21 - well, I've had my share of women, and...
01:00:23 - From what I've read,
01:00:25 - you've had everybody's share.
01:00:27 - Maybe so.
01:00:29 - But you know,
01:00:31 - at this stage in my life,
01:00:33 - I've learned something.
01:00:35 - If you're lucky enough to find someone
01:00:37 - who loves you,
01:00:39 - you know, who'll stick by you
01:00:41 - for more than a night here,
01:00:43 - a week in there.
01:00:45 - Try your best to work it out.
01:00:47 - That's pretty good advice.
01:00:53 - Yes, it is.
01:00:57 - And I'm gonna follow it.
01:01:01 - See you around, huh?
01:01:03 [music]
01:01:05 - Hello, Jenny, it's Julie.
01:01:21 - Steve was looking for you.
01:01:23 - I know.
01:01:25 - I'm trying to stay away from him.
01:01:27 - We went to say goodbye.
01:01:29 - We said our goodbyes last night.
01:01:31 - I'm sorry.
01:01:33 - I'm not.
01:01:35 - It was great while it lasted.
01:01:37 - He asked me to give this to you.
01:01:41 - Are you gonna be okay?
01:01:45 - I'm gonna go now.
01:01:47 - Goodbye.
01:01:51 [music]
01:01:57 [music]
01:01:59 [music]
01:02:01 [music]
01:02:03 [music]
01:02:05 (somber orchestral music)
01:02:09 (doorbell rings)
01:02:37 - Rose, darling?
01:02:39 Where are you, sweetheart?
01:02:41 - Taking a bath, if you don't mind.
01:02:43 - I brought you a peace offering.
01:02:45 - Is it your head on a plate?
01:02:48 - A rose.
01:02:54 A flower of faultless beauty,
01:02:57 second only to your own.
01:02:59 It symbolizes my undying devotion for you.
01:03:03 - The sick and the sordid, scene 23.
01:03:07 (laughing)
01:03:10 - But the thought is lovely.
01:03:13 - Mind if I join you?
01:03:20 - Only if you bring your rubber ducky.
01:03:24 (audience laughing)
01:03:27 (upbeat orchestral music)
01:03:30 (upbeat orchestral music)
01:03:34 - We hope you enjoyed your stay in Puerto Vallarta.
01:03:41 We'll be arriving in Cabo San Lucas at 0800 tomorrow morning.
01:03:46 - Okay, they're in the bathtub together.
01:03:58 Now's our chance.
01:03:59 - I don't know.
01:04:01 Think we have enough time?
01:04:02 How long does it take to have a bath?
01:04:04 - Believe me, boss, they don't care how long it takes.
01:04:08 (audience laughing)
01:04:10 (knocking)
01:04:12 - Come in.
01:04:13 - Jenny.
01:04:18 - Why did you come back?
01:04:20 - I broke my engagement to that girl.
01:04:28 - You made a mistake.
01:04:29 - The only mistake I made was getting engaged to her
01:04:34 in the first place.
01:04:35 - You're crazy.
01:04:37 You could have a normal, happy marriage with that girl.
01:04:40 - What makes you think that marrying a girl
01:04:41 who can see guarantees a happy marriage?
01:04:44 How come millions of couples with 20/20 vision get divorces?
01:04:47 Besides, I love you.
01:04:57 (gentle music)
01:04:59 - I don't love you.
01:05:05 I like you very much, but I don't love you.
01:05:12 - If I believed that,
01:05:16 do you think I would have come back here?
01:05:18 I know you love me.
01:05:22 - It couldn't work, Steve.
01:05:24 Now, goodbye.
01:05:27 - Jenny.
01:05:28 - Goodbye, Steve.
01:05:29 - I knew you loved me.
01:05:56 - That's a cheap trick.
01:05:58 - Marry me.
01:06:03 - No.
01:06:06 You just think I need you more than that.
01:06:10 Other girl needs you.
01:06:11 You wanna take care of me.
01:06:14 You wanna make me stop walking into walls.
01:06:18 - Is that what you really think?
01:06:20 - Yes.
01:06:24 - Then to hell with you.
01:06:25 What do I have to do to prove that I love you?
01:06:28 Go blind again?
01:06:29 (gentle music)
01:06:34 (door opening)
01:06:37 (gentle music)
01:06:39 (sighs)
01:06:42 (upbeat music)
01:06:55 (upbeat music)
01:06:58 - All quiet with the tigs, Doc?
01:07:15 - Yeah.
01:07:16 Do you think I spent eight years
01:07:17 in college and medical school
01:07:18 and I could be replaced by a German shepherd?
01:07:20 - No, there'll be an extra milk bowl in your pay envelope.
01:07:23 - No, we all appreciate it.
01:07:24 Just don't lower your guard for any reason.
01:07:26 - Yes, sir.
01:07:28 - Hi, Doc.
01:07:29 - Wow, hello there.
01:07:32 - Not for any reason, Dr. Bricker.
01:07:34 - Right, right.
01:07:35 - And what you doing?
01:07:38 - Oh, just hanging out.
01:07:40 - Yeah?
01:07:41 How'd you like to hang out in the moonlight?
01:07:44 - Well, it's the middle of the morning.
01:07:46 - Well, why wait till the last minute?
01:07:48 Hey, did I ever tell you
01:07:52 you're the most attractive man on this entire ship?
01:07:56 - You have excellent taste.
01:07:57 - Mm-hmm.
01:07:58 You know, my cabin is just down on the next deck.
01:08:02 Come on, I'll race ya.
01:08:05 - Well, I'd love to, but--
01:08:07 - I'll take care of that for you, ma'am.
01:08:08 - Go for it.
01:08:09 Take over for me, will ya?
01:08:10 - Sure.
01:08:11 - But you get totally less confident than that.
01:08:14 Watch the door.
01:08:16 - Why?
01:08:16 I'll just watch the door.
01:08:19 - Doc, which way did you say your cabin was?
01:08:22 - Mm.
01:08:23 (audience laughing)
01:08:28 Did I ever tell you
01:08:40 I think you're the most attractive man in this entire ship?
01:08:43 (audience laughing)
01:08:46 (laughing)
01:08:50 - Why, you little--
01:08:52 - Don't do that to me.
01:08:53 - Oh.
01:08:53 (laughing)
01:08:56 (dramatic music)
01:09:19 (audience laughing)
01:09:22 (audience laughing)
01:09:36 (dramatic music)
01:09:38 (audience laughing)
01:09:52 (laughing)
01:10:03 - Now it's your turn.
01:10:06 (audience laughing)
01:10:09 - What was that?
01:10:10 - My heart.
01:10:11 (dramatic music)
01:10:14 - Oxen, don't forget to leave the fake diamond.
01:10:20 (dramatic music)
01:10:25 (audience laughing)
01:10:34 (audience laughing)
01:10:37 (laughing)
01:10:54 - It's your turn to look for the soul.
01:10:57 - Oh.
01:10:57 (laughing)
01:11:01 (screaming)
01:11:03 (audience laughing)
01:11:08 (audience laughing)
01:11:20 (dramatic music)
01:11:25 (audience laughing)
01:11:28 - Everything all right?
01:11:42 - I can't hear you.
01:11:43 (audience laughing)
01:11:44 - Is everything all right?
01:11:46 - They're still playing Mr. and Mrs. Clean.
01:11:48 - Hey.
01:11:50 - Ox, what were you doing down there?
01:11:52 It sounded like you were wrecking the place.
01:11:54 - She dropped me on my head twice.
01:11:56 - Well, it could only help.
01:11:58 - She couldn't hurt you.
01:12:00 - Listen now, don't start.
01:12:01 - All right, all right.
01:12:02 Give us the necklace.
01:12:06 - Sure, boss.
01:12:07 - You left the copy, didn't you?
01:12:13 - Oh, sure.
01:12:14 I didn't give it to you already, did I?
01:12:19 (audience laughing)
01:12:21 No.
01:12:23 (dramatic music)
01:12:25 - You take your time, Ox, take your time.
01:12:27 (dramatic music)
01:12:32 (laughing)
01:12:36 Isn't it magnificent?
01:12:39 - Oh, I gotta hand it to you, Vernon.
01:12:41 You really pulled it off this time.
01:12:43 - And no one is the wiser.
01:12:45 (laughing)
01:12:47 Who are you?
01:12:50 What do you want?
01:12:51 - I'm sorry, I must have the wrong room.
01:12:53 - It's all right, honey.
01:12:54 It's a mistake anybody could make.
01:12:57 - I count off the paces.
01:12:58 I sometimes goof, though.
01:13:01 Can't balance my checkbook either.
01:13:03 - Well, I'm looking for 352.
01:13:07 - Oh, yeah, that's right down the,
01:13:08 oh, geez, next door.
01:13:11 Can I give you a hand?
01:13:12 - No, I'm fine.
01:13:13 I'm sorry again.
01:13:14 - All right, toodle.
01:13:16 - This time, lock the door.
01:13:20 - Right, sure.
01:13:21 - Look how it shines.
01:13:27 Look how it sparkles.
01:13:29 Here in my hand, friends, a bauble
01:13:32 that will make four people's lives secure.
01:13:35 A ruby has fire, an emerald has depth,
01:13:39 but a diamond outshines them all.
01:13:43 Pure, brilliant, hard.
01:13:46 Hard enough to cut glass.
01:13:49 Watch as I put my signature
01:13:52 to the end of a perfect crime.
01:13:55 - You fool!
01:14:07 - You left the real diamond and brought back the fake.
01:14:12 Maybe you used the wrong mirror.
01:14:19 People like you that give crime a bad name.
01:14:21 (audience laughing)
01:14:24 (upbeat music)
01:14:32 - Well, are you all set for the masquerade party?
01:14:46 - Mm-hmm.
01:14:47 - What are you wearing?
01:14:48 - I'm going as Marie Antoinette.
01:14:50 Let 'em eat cake.
01:14:51 - Maybe I'll go as Eve.
01:14:54 Let 'em eat their hearts out.
01:14:55 - You need a lighter?
01:14:58 - Wait a minute.
01:15:00 I think I've got one in here somewhere.
01:15:03 - Oh, is that you?
01:15:04 - Yes, it is you.
01:15:17 And my husband.
01:15:18 - Barbara?
01:15:21 Barbara?
01:15:31 Barbara, I'm sorry.
01:15:41 - I'm the one.
01:15:46 I'm the one who found the tickets to the cruise, right?
01:15:49 - Right, but I never intended--
01:15:52 - Oh, how could I be so dumb?
01:15:54 That picture, that was taken in Hawaii, wasn't it?
01:16:01 He asked me to go with him, but I was,
01:16:10 I was too busy with my fall line.
01:16:16 Were you, were you in New York with him
01:16:19 at the convention too?
01:16:20 Oh, what shall I do?
01:16:30 Well, I guess I'll divorce him,
01:16:36 or maybe I'll kill him first.
01:16:40 - You don't wanna divorce him.
01:16:44 - What shall we do?
01:16:45 Share him?
01:16:46 I'll take him all turn at weekends,
01:16:48 and Wednesday, and Tuesday nights, and you take him.
01:16:52 - Barbara, I'm not taking anything.
01:16:54 It's over between Alan and me.
01:16:55 Look, I was lonely after my divorce.
01:17:04 Alan was very kind.
01:17:05 You were working a lot.
01:17:09 He needed someone to talk to.
01:17:12 - And to go to bed with?
01:17:13 - It's all part of the same thing.
01:17:16 - Did you love him?
01:17:22 - I needed him.
01:17:26 He needed me, but it's you he wants.
01:17:31 It's you he's always wanted.
01:17:32 - If I could believe that,
01:17:38 I would have never let him go.
01:17:40 If I could believe that, or I thought it were true, but...
01:17:44 How could I, how could I take lying in his arms
01:17:50 and wondering if he was thinking about you?
01:17:52 - It's funny.
01:17:54 All the time we were together,
01:17:57 I had the feeling he was thinking about you.
01:18:00 - How can I be sure?
01:18:04 - How can anyone be sure of anything?
01:18:09 - Oh, I don't know.
01:18:10 - I don't know.
01:18:11 - There is a way you could find out how he really feels.
01:18:20 It's kind of sneaky, but it might do the trick.
01:18:25 - Well, what is it?
01:18:28 - Come on.
01:18:31 Come on.
01:18:32 Cabo San Lucas is beautiful, isn't it?
01:18:49 Everything is gold.
01:18:51 - Sure.
01:18:53 At least you didn't say the water is sparkling like diamonds.
01:18:56 - Diamonds.
01:18:57 (birds chirping)
01:19:00 - Hey.
01:19:03 You know that actress, Roz Rogers?
01:19:08 - Are you kidding?
01:19:09 - Well, she was out by the pool, asleep.
01:19:13 So I snuck up on her and guess what I took.
01:19:18 - What?
01:19:19 - Oh, a box.
01:19:22 Her picture.
01:19:25 (audience laughing)
01:19:27 (gentle music)
01:19:30 You know, boss, she was wearing that diamond.
01:19:36 I could have reached right out and grabbed it.
01:19:39 Let's drown him.
01:19:43 - Don't be ridiculous, Elwood.
01:19:47 Ox just came up with plan D.
01:19:55 (knocking)
01:19:58 - Hi, Jenny, it's Julie.
01:20:10 - Hey, Jenny. - And Isaac, and Goldie.
01:20:13 - Hi, Jenny. - And Dog.
01:20:15 - Hi, Jenny. - And boy,
01:20:15 have we got something for you.
01:20:18 Roses, I know.
01:20:20 Not just roses, every rose in Cabo San Lucas.
01:20:23 - Steve? - Uh-huh.
01:20:25 - Does this mean it's your birthday or something?
01:20:28 - No, I...
01:20:28 It means he doesn't really care if I walk into walls.
01:20:33 (knocking)
01:20:44 - Come in.
01:20:45 Jenny.
01:20:51 - Steve.
01:20:54 Please listen to what I have to say.
01:20:57 Last night I acted like a fool.
01:21:01 I was wrong.
01:21:02 I love you, and I know you love me.
01:21:09 I do wanna marry you, and if you still feel the same way,
01:21:16 I'll be waiting in my cabin.
01:21:18 I'm going now.
01:21:23 (door opening)
01:21:25 - Jenny, you're crazy.
01:21:35 (laughing)
01:21:36 - How come that cheap trick didn't work for me?
01:21:39 (laughing)
01:21:50 (upbeat music)
01:21:53 - The masquerade ball is now in progress
01:21:55 in the Coral Dining Room.
01:21:57 - Will you smile?
01:21:58 Marie Antoinette wasn't unhappy
01:22:00 until after they cut off her head.
01:22:02 The worst I could do is bite you on the neck.
01:22:06 - Honey, I forgot my purse.
01:22:11 You go ahead and join Kathy, and I'll be right there.
01:22:14 - Well, wait a minute, how am I gonna find her?
01:22:16 What's she wearing?
01:22:17 - Oh, you can't miss her.
01:22:18 She's dressed as a clown.
01:22:20 - I like her Marcel Marceau.
01:22:22 - Marcel Marceau?
01:22:24 In that case, I'll bite her on the neck.
01:22:26 What can she say?
01:22:27 (laughing)
01:22:30 (upbeat music)
01:22:49 - Are you really dressed as a rabbit,
01:22:50 or have I had too many already?
01:22:52 - No, I am the white rabbit,
01:22:54 or as we call him, the honky rabbit.
01:22:58 (laughing)
01:23:00 - Valentino lives.
01:23:14 - Not in that body.
01:23:16 - You're looking at the world's greatest, Mr. Love.
01:23:18 - You don't know nothing about us rabbits.
01:23:21 (laughing)
01:23:24 - Cleo, you look beautiful.
01:23:28 - Thank you.
01:23:29 And by the way, good luck tonight, Prince George.
01:23:32 - Oh, I can't miss, one size fits all.
01:23:35 - Hey, rabbit.
01:23:36 - Hey, what's up, Doc?
01:23:39 - Well, what do you think?
01:23:42 - Very novel.
01:23:43 You're the only one who came as a shoe salesman.
01:23:46 - I checked your dipstick.
01:23:47 I think you're down a quart.
01:23:49 - I must say, this has been a delightful cruise, Captain.
01:23:55 - Tonight, you don't have to call me Captain.
01:23:57 A simple, your majesty, will do.
01:24:00 (laughing)
01:24:02 - Happy?
01:24:10 - Uh-huh.
01:24:15 - Keep your eyes on that diamond.
01:24:17 I want no trouble tonight or heads will roll.
01:24:20 - Who was that?
01:24:23 - Bye, Cathy.
01:24:35 (upbeat music)
01:24:37 - Did he see you?
01:24:56 - I made sure of it.
01:24:57 Good luck, Barbara.
01:24:58 - Thank you.
01:24:59 (upbeat music)
01:25:02 - At 11 o'clock, we kill the lights.
01:25:11 - Boss, you said there wasn't gonna be any killing.
01:25:14 (laughing)
01:25:16 - Cathy, it's fantastic.
01:25:22 - Well, wait till Barbara sees you.
01:25:28 She left her purse in the cabin.
01:25:29 She'll be back in a minute.
01:25:31 Oh, why don't we wait till Barbara gets back?
01:25:38 - What's going on?
01:25:41 (laughing)
01:25:44 - Cathy, you cut it out.
01:25:46 What's with you anyway?
01:25:48 If Barb sees this, she'll...
01:25:50 Okay, just for a minute.
01:25:54 Wait, let me get my teeth.
01:25:55 (laughing)
01:25:57 All right, Cathy, you can cut the mime now.
01:26:11 Well, if you insist.
01:26:14 Look, I thought you said it was over between us.
01:26:19 (dramatic music)
01:26:22 - Cathy, I've been doing a lot of thinking on this cruise.
01:26:30 I don't wanna hurt you.
01:26:34 You're a wonderful girl, but I think I love Barbara.
01:26:37 I know I love Barbara.
01:26:41 I couldn't stand to lose her.
01:26:45 She's my wife, and she's my life.
01:26:49 I'm sorry, but it is over with us.
01:26:54 No, I'm serious.
01:26:58 I mean, I knew there were things wrong with the marriage,
01:27:02 but I should have talked it over with Barbara.
01:27:04 I guess I was scared she wouldn't listen,
01:27:08 so I never gave her the chance.
01:27:10 I mean, how's she supposed to know what I need
01:27:12 if I never tell her?
01:27:15 I'm doing it again.
01:27:16 Things I'm telling you, I should be telling her.
01:27:20 - You are.
01:27:23 - Barbara.
01:27:28 - Yes.
01:27:31 - It is you.
01:27:33 - Yes.
01:27:35 - Then you know about everything.
01:27:42 - Yes, Alan.
01:27:43 - Barbara, I've been such a jerk.
01:27:46 - Yes.
01:27:49 And so have I.
01:27:52 And dressing up like this was crazy, but
01:27:57 at least I finally got to know you.
01:28:01 - Barbara, can you ever forgive me?
01:28:05 - Let me tell you in mine.
01:28:10 (dramatic music)
01:28:13 - Oh, you guys have great costumes.
01:28:36 - Jenny's Justice, and I'm her prisoner.
01:28:39 - Prisoner of love, eh?
01:28:41 Come on, I saved you a table.
01:28:42 It's right here.
01:28:48 - Okay, here you go.
01:28:49 - Have a good time.
01:28:50 - Oh, thanks, Julie.
01:28:52 - Here you go.
01:28:52 Sit right down here, and I'll go get us some drinks.
01:28:56 Be right back.
01:28:57 (laughing)
01:28:59 - Happy?
01:29:00 - Oh, yes.
01:29:00 - What else can I buy you?
01:29:03 - Oh, you know what I think?
01:29:05 I think we ought to buy a show.
01:29:08 - We ought to buy a ship like this,
01:29:09 much smaller, of course, with a crew of about 50.
01:29:12 - Hey, that's a wonderful idea.
01:29:13 We can sail all over the world.
01:29:15 We can even stop in Cannes for the festival.
01:29:17 - Oh, but we don't have a house in Cannes.
01:29:18 - So we buy one.
01:29:19 - Oh, honey, you're so sweet to me.
01:29:23 - Well, what is love all about, huh?
01:29:25 - Mr. Gingerale, you're an expensive date.
01:29:36 (laughing)
01:29:38 You okay?
01:29:42 - Yes, but I just heard the saddest conversation.
01:29:49 A man and his wife, and all they could talk about
01:29:53 was what he was going to buy for her.
01:29:56 Yachts and houses.
01:29:58 It's what they thought love was all about.
01:30:03 (laughing)
01:30:06 - Promise me you won't ever be like that.
01:30:08 - Not much of a chance on my salary.
01:30:10 (laughing)
01:30:18 To us.
01:30:20 Do you know I've never liked John Wayne?
01:30:29 (laughing)
01:30:32 (playful music)
01:30:34 - Taffy's waiting in B.
01:30:40 (laughing)
01:30:43 - It's a beautiful watch.
01:30:51 - It's time.
01:30:53 20.
01:30:56 (laughing)
01:30:58 - Excuse me, who is that girl sitting over there?
01:31:17 Oh, that's Jenny Lang.
01:31:21 - She's quite a girl.
01:31:22 It's a shame she's blind.
01:31:24 (playful music)
01:31:27 - I think she sees better than we do.
01:31:28 - Meet me on the fantail in five minutes.
01:31:36 (laughing)
01:31:38 Meet me on the fantail in five minutes.
01:31:44 (laughing)
01:31:46 - Well, I think I'd like to get a drink.
01:31:51 - I'll get you a mirror.
01:31:52 (laughing)
01:31:55 - Mr. McCoy.
01:31:55 I told them to stay with Miss Rogers.
01:31:59 Someone has got to see that nothing happens to that jewel.
01:32:02 - Miss Rogers, how nice to see you.
01:32:07 - Captain.
01:32:08 (screaming)
01:32:09 - Let's go.
01:32:09 - What are you doing?
01:32:11 (screaming)
01:32:12 - Put the lights out, Mr. Captain speaking.
01:32:14 Engineer, report the lights.
01:32:16 Put the lights out.
01:32:18 (laughing)
01:32:19 - I don't know.
01:32:21 Who stole my medallion?
01:32:22 (laughing)
01:32:24 - Look, here they come.
01:32:26 - Get ready, my friends, to feast your eyes.
01:32:30 (playful music)
01:32:33 - Ooh.
01:32:37 - Oh.
01:32:38 Ow.
01:32:39 - Nice going, genius.
01:32:45 - Oh, Alwood, go take a swim.
01:32:47 - The pool is closed.
01:32:50 - I didn't have the pool in mind.
01:32:51 (laughing)
01:32:53 - Go file your nails.
01:32:54 - Go file your face.
01:32:56 - Why are you all upset?
01:32:57 - I think it's beautiful.
01:33:01 (laughing)
01:33:03 (playful music)
01:33:08 (water splashing)
01:33:10 (sighing)
01:33:23 - Thinking what I'm thinking?
01:33:26 - Yes, that blind girl.
01:33:30 We need a character like that in the movie.
01:33:34 A touch of reality.
01:33:36 It's not the movie that needs reality.
01:33:38 It's us.
01:33:41 - Yes, I'm afraid you're right.
01:33:46 What are we doing this movie for, anyway?
01:33:49 We have all the money we'll ever need,
01:33:52 all the material possessions.
01:33:54 - We have so much.
01:33:55 She has who?
01:33:57 - Nothing.
01:33:57 - Everything.
01:34:00 Everything that matters.
01:34:02 Humanity, warmth.
01:34:06 Love.
01:34:07 We could have love, Bill,
01:34:12 if all these things didn't get in the way.
01:34:16 I don't want things.
01:34:18 I want us.
01:34:21 (playful music)
01:34:23 (laughing)
01:34:25 - What do you want to do with that?
01:34:26 - Throw it in the ocean.
01:34:29 (laughing)
01:34:31 - Let me do it.
01:34:34 (playful music)
01:34:37 (screaming)
01:34:49 (laughing)
01:34:51 (playful music)
01:34:53 - Hey, Doc, you know what?
01:35:16 - Huh?
01:35:17 - I don't think she's gonna show up.
01:35:18 (laughing)
01:35:20 - Let's give her another five minutes.
01:35:21 (laughing)
01:35:23 (playful music)
01:35:34 (upbeat music)
01:35:37 - It worked, Kathy, just the way you said it would.
01:35:54 How can I ever thank you?
01:35:55 - By holding on to it.
01:35:58 - He's a pretty nice guy.
01:36:00 You're not so bad yourself, you know.
01:36:03 - All set.
01:36:05 - Well, I guess this is goodbye.
01:36:07 Keep in touch.
01:36:09 - Goodbye, Kathy.
01:36:10 - Bye, Kathy. - Bye-bye.
01:36:16 - Now, I never thought I'd be saying this,
01:36:20 but you have terrific taste in women.
01:36:23 - And even better taste in wives.
01:36:26 (playful music)
01:36:29 (upbeat music)
01:36:31 - Hi, folks, hope you enjoyed your trip.
01:36:45 - It was a real thrill.
01:36:46 - Yeah, real thrill.
01:36:47 - I'd rather be in Philadelphia.
01:36:50 - Well, different strokes for different folks.
01:36:52 (laughing)
01:36:54 - Wait a minute, where's Ox?
01:36:58 - Oh, you mean your big friend?
01:37:01 - Yeah.
01:37:01 - Oh, he's gone already.
01:37:02 His chauffeur came on board
01:37:03 and picked up his luggage first thing.
01:37:05 - His chauffeur?
01:37:06 - Yeah, well, I remember because he couldn't figure out
01:37:08 whether to go to his Malibu beach house,
01:37:11 the penthouse in town, or to take his jet to the ranch.
01:37:15 (laughing)
01:37:16 - Ox is rich.
01:37:17 - He's loaded.
01:37:18 - Plan E.
01:37:21 (laughing)
01:37:23 - Yeah. - Plan E.
01:37:24 - It's the one right after D.
01:37:26 (laughing)
01:37:28 - Goodbye. - Goodbye, folks.
01:37:32 - Oh, I'm glad, bye-bye.
01:37:35 - Hi.
01:37:36 - Oh, hello, Steve.
01:37:36 Hi, Jenny.
01:37:37 - Hello, Julie.
01:37:39 You'll never guess what happened.
01:37:40 - Uh, Steve proposed, you accepted,
01:37:43 and the two of you are getting married.
01:37:44 - No.
01:37:45 - No?
01:37:46 - Jenny proposed, I accepted, and we're gonna get married.
01:37:48 - Oh, I think that's wonderful!
01:37:50 Congratulations! - Thank you.
01:37:52 - Terrific, see you later.
01:37:54 - Bye-bye. - Bye.
01:37:55 - Can you live without me for a couple of hours?
01:37:58 - No longer.
01:37:59 (laughing)
01:38:01 - Well, it was wonderful having you aboard.
01:38:03 - Thank you.
01:38:04 - And I didn't mind losing my shirt to save your jewel.
01:38:07 - Oh, the diamond?
01:38:09 We threw that overboard.
01:38:11 - What?
01:38:12 - It was a fake.
01:38:13 The real one is in the vault in our bag.
01:38:17 Couldn't take a chance of having it stolen.
01:38:20 - Oh, I don't blame you.
01:38:20 If I owned a rock like that,
01:38:22 I'd hold onto it with both hands.
01:38:24 (laughing)
01:38:26 - I used to think that too,
01:38:27 but holding onto it really doesn't give you
01:38:29 that much happiness.
01:38:31 It's a bigger kick to let it go.
01:38:33 - That's right.
01:38:34 We're donating it to charity.
01:38:37 I understand there's a school for the blind
01:38:43 that does wonderful work.
01:38:44 - Well, goodbye, Julie, Captain.
01:38:49 - Goodbye. - Goodbye.
01:38:50 Hope to see you again.
01:38:52 - Goodbye, Captain.
01:38:53 - Goodbye.
01:38:54 - See you in the movies.
01:38:55 - Bye.
01:38:59 - Bye.
01:38:59 - You know,
01:39:03 those two really are stars.
01:39:07 (dramatic music)
01:39:10 (upbeat music)
01:39:19 (upbeat music)
01:39:21 (upbeat music)
01:39:24 (upbeat music)
01:39:29 (upbeat music)
01:39:35 (upbeat music)
01:39:50 (upbeat music)
01:39:53 (upbeat music)
01:39:55 (upbeat music)
01:39:58 (dramatic music)