Join Jules and James as they take look at more video game bosses that forced you to cheat! When bosses don't play fair.
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00:00Hello all of you little demons, Jules here for whatculture.com, back again with another
00:04episode of the awesomely named and awfully hosted Choose Your Own Adventure, the weekly
00:09medieval themed format where I, the Crown Jules of whatculture.com, take a list chosen
00:14by you.
00:15Yes, you, the person who has to apologise to James Dowers, I'm very sorry mate, I'm
00:18giving this to you on a Monday to go out on Tuesday, but I've been off last week because
00:22I got the vid, yay!
00:25It sucks, um, triple vaxxed and still managed to get it and it still kicked my ass.
00:31Fantastic, so apologies if my delivery's a little bit off today, I'm still recovering.
00:35Yes, you get to decide what list I dole out to you each and every week, and this week
00:40we have none other to thank than Jackson Loveless for their suggestion of eight video game bosses
00:48that would absolutely make you crush your controller.
00:51Now obviously I had to do a bit of YouTube tinkering and what I thought I'd do is do
00:54a sequel to a video that went out on our channel quite recently, which was video game
00:59bosses that were so unfair, tough, and just downright stinky that they forced you to cheat,
01:05but then condensed the title somewhat.
01:07So let's get on with it, as I'm Jules, this is whatculture.com, and these are seven
01:10more video game bosses that forced you to cheat.
01:14And you know the drill by now, say hi to me here in the live chat and put your suggestions
01:17for next week's episode down in the comment section below, now let's get on with this
01:20rather stinky list.
01:23Number seven, total nuclear disarmament.
01:26Metal Gear Solid V, The Phantom Pain.
01:28Now while you might be expecting the Metal Gear portion of this list to be taken up by
01:33the likes of, I don't know, the internal clock manipulations, seeing an end to the
01:37end, or the fact that you can put an auto-input to just punch Liquid Snake's face right
01:42off, those are indeed cheats in a way, but what we're going to be talking about today
01:47is an actually impossible boss that was only recently discovered in Metal Gear Solid V,
01:52and that was Konami themselves.
01:54So to better explain, we need to discuss the secret total nuclear disarmament ending of
01:59this game, and I use heavy quotations around the word secret, because it was an ending
02:03that actually exposed itself by accident thanks to an update resetting game data, causing
02:08it to trigger.
02:09Now normally this ending would only unlock if every single active player chose to remove
02:13nuclear warheads from their base, thus ensuring a peaceful future for humanity, and was done
02:19by Hideo Kojima and his team as a thumbing gesture to the world that this would likely
02:23never happen.
02:24Yet we gamers are a persistent sort, and so a massive collaboration of players grouped
02:28together to make this dream a reality.
02:31Yet they hit a snag recently when they realised that the ending could never actually be obtained
02:35legitimately thanks to a series of nukes not actually existing to any tangible player.
02:40You see, scores of warheads apparently existed in the game data, but could never be removed,
02:45meaning that this feat was actually and quite literally impossible, which in turn led players
02:50to resort to the same tactics as the devs and cheated their way through to unlock the
02:54ending.
02:55Peace, it seems, was never an option.
02:57That's quite worrying, isn't it?
02:596.
03:00The Sandman
03:01Spider-Man for the nays.
03:02Now when it comes to boss battles that force players to spam low kicks and punches over
03:08and over again as they hide in a corner, then many people are going to think of Shadow Link
03:12from The Legend of Zelda 2, but today we're going to go to a different area of the NES
03:19library and talk about the absolute shin-stabbing actions that came when you battled the Sandman
03:25in Spider-Man for the nays.
03:27Now this was a title that, while not being nays difficult, was full of the jank that
03:32many had come to expect from the console's output.
03:35Iffy controls, enemies that start shooting at you off screen, and of course a run cycle
03:39that turned Peter Parker into a power walker rather than a superhero.
03:43Now the Sandman boss battle is normally a rather intense one, with the criminal merging
03:48into the floor and then appearing in front of you to turn you into today's special
03:51of awful served in spandex.
03:53However, if you do just, well, everything that Spider-Man would never do in this instance
03:58aka just stand still, hold crouch and beat the piss out of Sandman's groin over and
04:02over, you'll be done in no time.
04:04It might not be heroic to smash somebody's plums over and over, but it definitely gets
04:09the job done, and while it might not be considered cheating by some because you don't need to
04:14put in any inputs, you are exploiting the game's AI considerably here by just standing
04:19and just hammering away on that groin.
04:22Come on then, ball back!
04:25He's just there like, oh god.
04:265.
04:27The Mimic Tear, Elden Ring
04:29Now while I would love to freely address the rather FromSoft-shaped elephant in the room
04:34and say that every boss that the developer made is very likely to want to make you cheat
04:40your way through or just grab a cheese platter and fromage your way through every single
04:45encounter, there is actually one recent example that I just found too hilarious that I just
04:50had to include.
04:51I'm speaking of course about the absolutely beautiful bastard that is the Mimic Tear mini-boss
04:56that you can find within the gargantuan thigh slapper known as Elden Ring, for depending
05:01on how you approach this fight it can be one of the hardest, or alternatively, also
05:05one so easy that it's almost laughable.
05:07For you see, dear Tarnish, the Mimic Tear is exactly that, a mimic that will copy your
05:12exact loadout, spells and all, and then use them against you with surprising aggression.
05:18Now if you've entered the fight with a ton of tanky armour and swords that utterly melt
05:21bosses, you're going to be on the rather spicy end this time around, but if you're
05:26a smart little cheater and start the fight absolutely naked, then you'll experience
05:30something entirely different.
05:32Spawning in with only a loincloth as protection, the Mimic Tear can easily be bested by quickly
05:36re-equipping your gear and then slamming it into the ground, thus making this battle absolutely
05:41hilarious and turning what would be tears of frustration into tears of joy rolling down
05:46your cheek as you laugh at the poor old Mimic Tear just flailing against you with its fists.
05:51It's trying to do a Spider-Man against the Sandman, except this time instead of made
05:53of sand, you're made of absolute beef.
05:55Oh god I said it, here he comes, BEEF GATES, NO!
06:00Alright mate, haven't seen you in a while.
06:02You're attacking, somebody's not feeling very well, how does that make you feel?
06:05Number 4, Cromorax the Invincible, Borderlands
06:08So after the rather disappointing final boss of the original Borderlands base experience,
06:13the fanbase was very keen for something to sink their teeth into.
06:17Or should that be for something to sink its teeth into them, who knows, and thus a petition
06:21went out for Gearbox to provide a real challenge.
06:24And boy howdy did they do that with the raid boss Cromorax the Invincible that appeared
06:29in the General Nox DLC, because this, well it made you feel very, very, invincible.
06:35However as the well known and totally real saying goes, you're only as hard to kill
06:39as there are a number of hidden ledges in your boss area, and Cromorax truly fell foul
06:44of just such a hidden pocket of pain.
06:47Normally any fight against this beast would be one of blind panic, with only those tipping
06:51the level cap and with outrageous weaponry able to stand toe to claw, yet thanks to a
06:55tiny little ledge to the left of the arena, players could both shoot at and not be hit
07:00by Cromorax's damaging projectiles, thus it became a battle of attrition and whether
07:04or not you'd actually brought enough bullets to the fight.
07:07They even referenced the power of the ledge in a subsequent Borderlands game saying that
07:10it was the true hero of the battle and I have to bloody well agree with them.
07:14And people wonder where I came up with the whole big ledge thing.
07:17It's not this by the way, but still, this is a big ledge indeed.
07:203.
07:21Lingering Will, Kingdom Hearts 2
07:23For many, the battle against the lingering will in Kingdom Hearts 2 really did live up
07:28to its namesake, because boy howdy did this boss just stick around for absolutely bloody
07:34ever and every time that it defeated you, it stole part of your soul.
07:38Now it might sound like hyperbole, but this boss really is the worst thing that Kingdom
07:42Hearts has ever spewed out, and for most gamers represented a point where the devs just went
07:46a little too far.
07:48With its insatiable appetite for ruining your day with meaty attacks, a sickening ability
07:52to heal itself, and for the entire battle to fall apart with just one or two hits being
07:56taken, Lingering Will might as well have been called Suspended Stink, as it was huffing
08:01up the place with its guffs no end.
08:03But you know what's even stinkier?
08:05This ripe bit of cheese that players found to make this boss an utter joke.
08:09By sinking in the time to beat Sephiroth and acquire slash equipping items that reduce
08:13the number of attacks per combo, meaning that you're always hitting with an aerial finisher,
08:17and then buffing that attack to kingdom come, you'll be able to stunlock the beast and rinse
08:21repeat until it's down to just a fraction of its starting health.
08:24This is by no means an elegant fight, and it can go wrong at a moment's notice, but
08:29still it is so impressive that this boss basically provided such a challenge that the community
08:34just said, right, no, enough of you, we're gonna rewrite the game's data and basically
08:38scratch build an entire, entire build just to take down this one boss.
08:43Take that, mate.
08:442.
08:45The General, Kaiser Knuckle
08:47So when it comes to utter cheese lord fighting game final bosses, there are a few entries
08:52that immediately spring to mind.
08:54You've got the likes of Shao Kahn, you've got Jim Pachy, and of course you've got...
08:58Gil, who I swear has done more irreparable damage to my family name than even Jack Hobo
09:03Stabba Gil.
09:04And that guy strangled dogs.
09:06However, all of those actually pale in comparison to the General from the oft-forgotten title
09:11Kaiser Knuckle, although after facing off against this despot, you might see this as
09:15a moment of collective repression as nobody wants to remember the beatdowns that this
09:19guy doled out, because to put it bluntly, this guy cheats a lot.
09:23For a start, he's got all of the hallmarks of a horror show boss, teleportation, multiple
09:27ghost form attacks, instant grabs, and relentlessly punishing combos, and he wastes no time in
09:32putting all of these to good use.
09:34It's a struggle to last even 10 seconds with the General, let alone beat him, but if you
09:38are dedicated to finding victory, you're gonna have to pray that you're not lactose intolerant,
09:42because there is a whole load of cheese to scoff.
09:45Of the few that have actually bested this beast, the common thread seems to be working
09:48towards a stunlock as soon as possible, clipping the General with a jumping kick to low kick
09:53to uppercut, and then repeating ad nauseum.
09:55So I hear you asking, how is this actually cheating?
09:58Well, it's cheating in the sense that this is meant to be a fighting game where you learn
10:01the nuances of all your characters, but here, every single person has to do the same three-hit
10:05combo again and again and again in order to get through this.
10:08You have to cheat to get past the cheater.
10:11And it sucks.
10:121.
10:13Bendak Starkiller – Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic
10:16Now good old Bendak here is what's known as a legend, having earned himself quite the
10:21reputation on Taris for his skills in the duel ring, and by skills I mean shooting people
10:26in the face before they can mouth oh hot damn.
10:29This is a true killer through and through, and has actually retired from competition
10:33because nobody even piqued his interest as a real challenge.
10:36That was until he started hearing rumours of a young whippersnapper that was as good
10:40with a vibroblade as a blaster.
10:41Oh and by the way, that whippersnapper, that's you.
10:44Thus after basically prodding him with a stick and saying, come on, kill me, Starkiller begrudgingly
10:52returns to the ring for one last fight.
10:54Now under normal circumstances this would be the end of you as after all this is right
10:59at the start of the game and he is now shooting you with pinpoint accuracy from the other
11:03side of the ring.
11:04So I know what you're asking yourself, how do I beat this guy?
11:08Have you not got what this video is about, you cheat, you cheat!
11:12After surviving the initial grenade spam offered up by Starkiller, rush directly towards him.
11:17This would obviously seem like a death sentence, but as you get close he'll put away his
11:21pistol and draw his blade, yet instead of engaging him in a fair duel, just drop back
11:26again and shoot him from a distance, falling back every time he gets close.
11:30Now after an admittedly very long time of running away and just firing just like three
11:35or four shots and then running away again, he finally will be defeated in what must
11:40have been the weirdest thing for people to watch.
11:42Imagine that, you've just realised that Starkiller's coming back out of retirement to do one last
11:46battle and you're sitting there, you've paid your, I don't know, your 50 like million
11:50credits in order to get a front row ticket and what you're doing is watching some nobody
11:54just go like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
12:02oh, he's dead.
12:07Starkiller might have been a champion, but smart he was not.
12:10And there we go my friends, those were seven more video game bosses who forced you to cheat.
12:14I hope that you enjoyed that, and again, I am very sorry if my delivery was a bit off
12:18today and the skits were quite low, the time constraints plus my illness, just not a great
12:23combination, but I hope that you enjoyed it nonetheless.
12:25Let me know what you thought about down in the comments section below, as well as your
12:28suggestions for next week's episode, because I'd love to read all of them and I'd love
12:31and make some more juicy content when I start feeling 100% again.
12:35But yes, massive thank you to James Dowse as well for the short turnaround of edit.
12:39Big love to you, mate.
12:40But if you want to chat to me further, you can do so over on Twitter at RetroJ with a zero,
12:44and you can follow James Dowse over here.
12:45James Dowsey, an extra E because he is an absolutely big legend.
12:50I don't know where I was going with that one.
12:51My brain is still foggy.
12:52But before I go, I just want to say one thing.
12:54Hope you treat yourself with love and respect, my friend.
12:56Don't try and cheat yourself out of things in life because you deserve the time and effort
13:00and love putting into situations that grow you into a better person.
13:04Don't look for the shortcuts in life.
13:05Always try and knuckle down, work hard, because trust me, if you earn those skills,
13:10if you earn your place up the ladder and whichever goal that you're working towards,
13:14you will feel that reward so much more than just cutting your way to the front of the queue.
13:18No one likes that.
13:19Big love to you, though, my friend.
13:20Take care of yourself.
13:21And I will see you next week, my friends.
13:24Bye bye.
13:25Now back to my crypt.