The Thundermans Season 3 Episode 9 Patch me if You Can
The Thundermans Season 3 Episode 9 Patch me if You Can
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TVTranscript
00:00 Set. Stretch!
00:07 [laughter]
00:11 Aw, are you guys playing tug-o-link again?
00:14 Women get to sit next to Link at the movies.
00:17 Loser has to sit next to you, Phoebe.
00:20 [laughter]
00:21 Sorry, you're a popcorn hog.
00:23 [laughter]
00:25 Ah! I win!
00:30 How about we play hula?
00:33 [laughter]
00:39 I love how much fun you have with my siblings.
00:42 Well, what can I say? I've got party written all over me.
00:47 Uh, you actually do.
00:50 Well, that's a reminder to pick up the birthday cake.
00:52 You know, for Harris's birthday party on Saturday.
00:55 I feel so bad. I hardly even know your brother.
00:57 And my brother loves you.
01:00 Ugh, Link's here again?
01:04 My other brother.
01:06 But since I have your attention,
01:08 fill your eyeballs with the centerpiece of my new villain uniform.
01:13 Behold, the cloak of woe!
01:17 The cloak of woe? I like it.
01:21 Don't you have your own home?
01:27 Dark Mayhem wants to see your evil villain uniform,
01:30 not your fried-tuck costume.
01:34 Let me guess. You want to help me design my new villain uniform?
01:38 I thought you'd never ask.
01:41 How do you feel about rhinestones?
01:46 What should I get your brother for his birthday?
01:48 I don't even know what the little guy's into.
01:50 Well, he is pretty quiet.
01:53 So he's into silent movies, silent auctions, well, being silent.
01:59 Oh, and one normal thing, pirates,
02:01 which is why his party is at a pirate-themed laser tag place.
02:04 Oh, you mean laser tag.
02:08 I may or may not have a punch card.
02:11 Oh, look what I got the kids to wear.
02:15 Right?
02:17 Oh, that patch makes you look just like your dad when he was still Evil Man.
02:21 Old and creepy, I'm taking this off.
02:25 Oh, wait, here's an idea.
02:28 Why don't I hang out with Harris on Saturday
02:30 while you guys are setting up the surprise party?
02:32 It'll be the perfect chance for us to bond.
02:34 Really? That'd be a big help, actually.
02:38 I said hurry up, or we'll miss the preview.
02:45 Evil Man's eye patch would be perfect for your villain uniform.
02:50 It tapped into his brain and amplified his evil instincts.
02:55 I don't know.
02:56 Before the eye patch, Evil Man was just Cranky Man.
03:01 Too bad he destroyed it.
03:03 You could build your own if you could find its power source, Evilinium.
03:08 But that stuff's harder to find than a talking lady bunny.
03:12 If it's out there, we'll find it.
03:14 The lady bunny?
03:16 No, the Evilinium. You'll never find love.
03:21 Lady bunny.
03:24 What you see is not what you get
03:29 Living our lives with a secret
03:33 We fit right in, I bet you never guessed
03:37 We're living our lives just like all the rest
03:41 A picture-perfect family is what we try to be
03:45 Look closer, you might see the crazy things we do
03:49 This isn't make-believe, it's our reality
03:53 Just your average family, trying to be normal
03:56 Instead of trouble, living a double life
04:03 Hey, Pheebs.
04:08 Hey.
04:09 Hey, thanks again for watching Harris while I set up for his party.
04:11 And listen, don't be bummed if you don't get him out of his shell.
04:14 Please, I'm great with shells.
04:16 I almost got a turtle out of his.
04:19 It bit me right after, but still.
04:22 Remember, the party's tonight at six, and shh, it's a surprise.
04:26 Got it.
04:27 Come on, Harris, don't be shy.
04:29 Hey there, Harris.
04:35 Link, why is your girlfriend trying to punch me?
04:39 She's not trying to punch you.
04:43 You're not trying to punch him, are you?
04:46 No, it's a fist bump.
04:48 Okay, don't worry, this is how things started with the turtle, too.
04:52 You tried to fist bump a turtle, no wonder it bit you.
04:56 Just don't worry, okay? I've got this.
04:59 Well, sure you do, but just in case, here's a list of safe hand gestures.
05:03 Bye, buddy.
05:05 No waving, why would that--
05:07 Hi!
05:10 Come on, get out, get out!
05:12 It's okay, Harris. The loud man's gone.
05:18 So, um...
05:20 Oh, Link tells me you have fire powers.
05:23 I do, too. Check it out.
05:25 Your turn.
05:29 No, really, go.
05:34 That's it. That's my power.
05:37 Fire pinky.
05:38 That is super impressive!
05:41 My mom calls me her widow nightlight.
05:44 Uh, anyway...
05:49 Oh, I hear you like pirates, and every pirate needs a parrot,
05:54 so I pulled some strings and got us a...
05:59 raven!
06:01 They were out of parrots.
06:06 Aren't ravens kind of dangerous?
06:09 Dangerous? Harris, I am the protector of Hiddenville.
06:13 I'm pretty sure I can handle some silly birds.
06:16 And we're hugging already!
06:34 How's my replica of Evil Man's eye patch coming?
06:38 Great! Just need to add a few more rhinestones.
06:43 Don't we sparkle, Max?
06:46 In the worst way.
06:49 I need things off my patch.
06:52 Now, I located the last of the evilinium,
06:55 but it's heavily guarded by native tribes.
06:58 So you just need to find someone dumb enough to go get it.
07:03 Got it. Easy.
07:06 Just like you said. I don't even need the shield you gave me.
07:10 All right. The evilinium needs a few hours to charge the patch,
07:21 but once it's fully powered, it'll squash all the good instincts
07:25 Mom and Dad keep saying are in here somewhere.
07:29 And now we wait. Simple.
07:32 Well, since we have time, let's go shopping for your villain uniform.
07:36 But first, watch me sparkle!
07:40 Hey, sweetie.
07:50 Why are the sandwiches Mom packed for your parents so expensive?
07:54 Hey, sweetie. Why are the sandwiches Mom packed for your picnic on fire?
08:00 The picnic got boring, which gave me time to work on my trick shots.
08:05 Check this one out.
08:07 Off the window, off the garbage can, nothing but juice box.
08:12 North Thunderman!
08:19 Wow! Impressive!
08:22 I'm shooting lasers across the yard. It's very dangerous.
08:25 That's what I said!
08:27 You have to be more careful using your powers, Nora.
08:35 Your trick shots have cost me a stack of sandwiches,
08:38 the flat screen TV, and my lucky sweatpants.
08:42 Yes, it was definitely Nora who destroyed your lucky sweatpants.
08:46 Now, go clean up this mess.
08:49 I mean, I will.
08:52 After I pull off the mother of all trick shots.
08:55 You're gonna want to come out of your garbage hole for this, Billy.
08:58 Off Wong's house, off that bird feeder, off the power lines,
09:07 nothing but watermelon.
09:10 Hi, guys.
09:18 I almost lasered Chloe.
09:21 You need time out, lady.
09:24 The whole bird thing was quite an adventure, huh?
09:36 Bet you're gonna be raven about it later.
09:40 Get it?
09:43 Yeah, I get it.
09:46 Can I go home?
09:48 Home? We're having so much fun.
09:51 Bird!
09:53 Hey, what's that?
09:59 Oh, don't go down there. That's Max's--
10:01 Whoa! It's just like a secret bunker from one of my pirate books.
10:06 Uh, well, yeah, I was gonna say,
10:09 don't go down there, 'cause that's Max's sister's secret bunker.
10:14 But guess what? I'm Max's sister.
10:18 Let's check it out.
10:20 Whoa!
10:28 It's like a giant treasure chest.
10:31 Is this all yours?
10:33 Yep. Definitely all mine.
10:36 Bebe's.
10:40 All right. Let's set sail for Harris's party.
10:46 You know, my pirate impressions really deserves a gold star.
10:51 Kids, hurry up. See if Father can stop talking like this.
10:56 Billy, that's not what a pirate looks like.
11:04 I'm protecting myself from Laser Girl.
11:08 I don't want to get blown up like a melon.
11:11 What are you talking about?
11:13 I've said too much.
11:15 I have an announcement to make.
11:21 Henry, Barbara, William, whatever your name "Chloe" is short for.
11:27 It's "Chlo-neath-ya," right?
11:29 Yeah, I'm right.
11:31 I thought about it, and I was being careless with my powers.
11:36 So, I've decided to never use them again.
11:40 Carry on.
11:42 Looks like I won't be needing this anymore.
11:47 But I will need pants.
11:55 Ooh, what's this?
12:01 Something dangerous. Put it down.
12:04 Oh, hey. Look what I found. In my own room.
12:10 I love eye patches.
12:13 And I love that we're bonding.
12:16 You are gonna look great in your new villain uniform, Maxie.
12:20 Are there enemies invading your bunker?
12:22 Uh, yes. You go guard Pirate Rock, and I'll go guard Pirate Fod.
12:29 Get out me secret bunker, ya scallywag!
12:37 What are you doing in here, Dorcus?
12:40 Nothing weird.
12:42 The bird can stay. You have to go.
12:47 Terry, it's just, I've tried everything with Link's little brother, and believe it or not, he finds me a little boring.
12:54 A little?
12:56 Up, up, up.
12:59 So, I told him that this was my secret bunker, and all of your gadgets were hidden treasure.
13:04 And he bought that?
13:05 Yeah. I mean, look how much fun he's having wearing that eye patch.
13:09 My evil eye patch?
13:11 You mean that harmless little thing on his head that's glowing an ominous red color? That's new.
13:17 So's this.
13:25 Well, at least somebody gets to sparkle in this place.
13:29 You recreated evil man's eye patch?
13:38 Now it's sending millions of hate-filled neurons right into his innocent little brain.
13:43 Lucky kid.
13:45 So what, Harris is like evil now? The kid doesn't have an evil bone in his body.
13:50 Evil, got it!
13:53 What smells good?
13:55 Oh, hello! My biscuits are burning!
13:59 Hey, Harris, stop! That's a custom-made table.
14:03 But it's fun!
14:07 How are we going to destroy that eye patch without hurting Harris?
14:12 There will be no destroying the patch, Phoebe.
14:15 Why not?
14:16 Because I had to risk my life to get that.
14:19 I mean, I risked Billy's life, but still, lives were risked, Phoebe.
14:24 We have to fix this.
14:28 We? You are the one that lied to Harris about this being your bunker.
14:32 It's clearly an evil lair.
14:36 You lied to me? And froze me?
14:44 Okay, I know that that sounds bad, but whoa, that is a wee-wee big night light.
14:49 No! Glossy, you said this was fireproof.
14:58 I know, and now you have proof that it catches on fire.
15:02 Run!
15:07 (thunder)
15:09 I hope your thundertanium door holds them off.
15:20 Um, are these notes from Mom?
15:23 No, they're my evil reminders.
15:27 Put the empty milk cart back in the fridge and don't flush the toilet, that sort of thing.
15:33 Feeling blue? This coupon is good for one mommy maxi hug.
15:38 In my defense, I never cashed it in.
15:43 Wait, do you hear that?
15:47 No.
15:49 Exactly. I think he wore himself out.
15:52 Or Colossal sold us out and told him to climb up the slide and open the hatch.
15:57 He wouldn't do that, would he?
16:00 (thunder)
16:02 Oh no, he's out!
16:05 Thanks a lot, Colossal.
16:07 You know what I am!
16:09 Keep your eyes out, he could be anywhere.
16:12 Like over here?
16:14 Yes!
16:26 Oh no, it's time for Harris' surprise party.
16:29 What?
16:30 It's time for Harris' surprise party.
16:33 Surprise party? I love surprises!
16:39 Did you guys just ruin the surprise?
16:43 No, not all of it. We didn't tell you about the pirates or laser tag or...
16:49 I'm gonna stop talking now.
16:52 You ruined my surprise party and now I'm gonna ruin it for everyone else!
16:57 My swoosh! My swoosh! I didn't hurt my swoosh!
17:02 We have to stop Harris before Link finds out I turned him evil.
17:08 And before anyone gets hurt.
17:10 Pretend I said those in reverse order.
17:12 Alright, just text him "Norwin got us a ride."
17:15 Oh boy, the clown's trying to chew-chew.
17:22 (Swoosh)
17:23 Ain't no pirate like the laser party!
17:33 Don't head into the arena yet, Harris isn't here, we have to yell "surprise!"
17:42 As soon as Harris arrives, we'll isolate him and destroy the patch.
17:47 We're not destroying the patch.
17:49 We're forgetting that part and it worries me.
17:52 Alright.
17:55 I can modify one of the laser taggers to shoot real lasers.
18:00 So I can disarm the patch.
18:02 Stop!
18:03 Oh, the police are coming!
18:04 Hey, hey, hey, those aren't your presents!
18:09 This isn't a vacation for you!
18:12 I think the clown weaver should have a little bit of time before Harris shows up.
18:18 Alright.
18:19 Or he stole a scooter.
18:21 He's here!
18:23 Let's heat this party up.
18:26 Aww, should be me all one-eyed menacing.
18:34 Come on.
18:36 Suit up, Nora.
18:40 For one night only, we're both laser girl.
18:46 I told you, I'm all lasers.
18:48 Real ones and fake ones.
18:50 This is fake?
18:52 Next you're gonna tell me those teenage girls texting on their cell phones aren't even real pirates.
18:59 So, you ready to talk about this whole no powers thing?
19:09 Nothing to talk about, I'm retired.
19:11 I'm just gonna kick back and relax, like dad.
19:15 Your father does a lot more than just kick back and relax.
19:18 Sweetie, what happened?
19:25 I think that's chair broke.
19:27 No.
19:28 I mean, why aren't you using your lasers anymore?
19:32 You know my trick shots?
19:35 One of them almost zapped Chloe.
19:38 I see.
19:41 And now you're afraid to use your super power.
19:44 Honey, I get why you're scared.
19:46 But the answer is just being more careful, not giving up your powers completely.
19:51 I don't know, mom.
19:52 Well, I do.
19:54 You are a superhero, Nora.
19:57 There's gonna come a time when people will need your help and I know you'll do the right thing.
20:03 If you ever doubt yourself, just read this.
20:11 Your heart is bigger than your swoosh.
20:14 Oh, sorry. That one's for Max.
20:16 This one's yours.
20:19 When a hero falls, it's a getting back up that makes him super.
20:26 He might need this note more than I do.
20:39 I couldn't find Harris, but I know he's in here somewhere.
20:42 All right. I'm about to fire real lasers.
20:44 Better give these kids a safety.
20:46 Don't worry. I got a laser tag champ clearing them out.
20:48 Finally, a game no one can beat me at.
20:59 Yeah. That that.
21:02 Sorry.
21:05 Don't worry. Another game starts in 15 minutes.
21:08 If this place is still standing.
21:10 Now that everyone's out, where is this freakish little fireball?
21:14 That was rude.
21:15 Why does he hate my clothes?
21:24 Harris, look, I'm not gonna fight you, okay?
21:30 All I wanted was for us to be close, but I took it too far.
21:34 This is all my fault.
21:35 Which part exactly?
21:37 The lying to me, the freezing me, the ruining my surprise?
21:42 Don't forget about our Raven. He was a hoot.
21:45 Shush! Ravens do not hoot, and we are not bonding.
21:49 You're right. We're blasting that eye patch off your adorable little face.
21:55 Remember when Phoebe lied to you?
22:02 I'm about to throw a fireball at you.
22:05 Oh, I'm sorry. Did I ruin the surprise?
22:09 Ow!
22:12 Nora?
22:17 Of course. We have our own laser with a bow on it.
22:22 Nora, how did you know we needed help?
22:25 Billy told me, and I knew it was time to do the right thing.
22:28 Of course you did. You're a superhero.
22:31 And I'm a super villain.
22:33 Quick, Nora! Zap off the eye patch!
22:35 Gently.
22:36 Cute lasers. I'll call you when I need them all removed.
22:43 Let's see if he thinks this trick shot's cute.
22:50 Off the mirror, off the treasure chest, off the--
22:52 Less yappy, more zappy!
22:54 (laughter)
22:56 (laser gun fire)
23:00 (buzzer)
23:01 (cheering)
23:04 You did it!
23:05 No! Are you okay?
23:09 You were too evil for this world, Patchy.
23:16 Paris, are you hurt?
23:19 I'm fine now. Thank you for saving me from that evil eye patch.
23:23 (laughter)
23:25 Paris, how did you sneak by us?
23:29 I mean, surprise!
23:31 Aw, look at you guys.
23:34 Oh, let me get a pic.
23:35 Here, put these eye patches on. Put those away!
23:38 Never again!
23:39 Okay, well then, let's get you a piece of cake,
23:43 and you guys can tell me all about your day.
23:45 Actually--
23:46 Actually, it was the best day ever.
23:48 I'll save you a seat next to me, Phoebe.
23:51 (laughter)
23:53 Wow, he really likes you.
23:58 What can I say? I guess he really warmed up to me.
24:02 Is there something burning in here?
24:05 Cake time!
24:06 Well, I hope you're proud of yourself, Nora.
24:14 You torched my eye patch getting your first superhero save.
24:17 Save? Try saves.
24:20 You, Phoebe, Harris, the kids at the party,
24:23 probably the whole city.
24:25 Okay, calm down, Zabby.
24:27 Cheer up. You may have lost your patch,
24:30 but I think you found your new uniform.
24:32 Whoa. You're right.
24:40 I look super evil.
24:43 Oh, and my swoosh has totally bounced back.
24:46 (laughter)
24:49 (music ends)
24:51 Hank, is that a new mole on your neck?
24:54 Oh, got it.
24:56 Nice to have you back, laser girl.
25:01 (snoring)
25:07 What a mess.
25:10 Does somebody want to explain this?
25:15 Does somebody want to redeem this Mommy Max plug?
25:20 (audience laughing)
25:23 (audience laughing)