We're in the Thundgame now...
With thanks to World Wide Wrestling, a system designed by Nathan D Paoletta: https://ndpdesign.com/wwwrpg
SUBSCRIBE TO partsFUNknown: https://bit.ly/2J2Hl6q
TWITTER: https://twitter.com/partsfunknown
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#partsfunknown #wrestling #roleplayinggame
With thanks to World Wide Wrestling, a system designed by Nathan D Paoletta: https://ndpdesign.com/wwwrpg
SUBSCRIBE TO partsFUNknown: https://bit.ly/2J2Hl6q
TWITTER: https://twitter.com/partsfunknown
FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/partsfunknown/
#partsfunknown #wrestling #roleplayinggame
Category
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FunTranscript
00:00:00 Hello, I'm Adam Hailing from Parts of Unknown. We've entered the Thund game now. It's the final
00:00:07 episode of the No Rolls Bars One Shots. The QCU, we are wrapping up. We can't wait for you to see
00:00:13 it. If you're interested, of course, in the system, Worldwide Wrestling was designed by
00:00:16 Nathan D. Powerletter. Check the link below for more info. And yeah, it's time to do a really big
00:00:26 fight. Hello and welcome back to CBW where the big boys are back with a vengeance. I'm Tom,
00:00:34 head of time and space here at CBW. And these are our players. Hi, my name is Lolo. I'll be playing
00:00:42 the Monique, the addict. Wow. My name is Luke. Now we're playing Mad Dog McCree. Hardcore.
00:00:50 Pleasure is mine. I'm Adam playing Piston Fairmont, the golden boy. Hello, darlings. My name is
00:00:58 Laurie. I'm playing Amelia Dramica, who is the provocateur. I'm Molly. I'm a high flyer.
00:01:03 And I'm playing Rick Thunder. Right. Let's do a really, really big fight.
00:01:18 Come on. Who are Rick Thunder and the Lightning family find themselves standing in the center of
00:01:25 a wrestling ring. A squared circle seems to be constantly shifting in size, small enough to suit
00:01:31 a backyard ball, large enough to dominate a stadium. The mat is made of rubber, no concrete
00:01:38 canvas, wooden boards, sand. And as the ground beneath their feet is in flux,
00:01:47 Rick, you and your team notice the ring ropes change from hemp to steel to leafy vines to pure
00:01:54 electricity. And back again, turnbuckles made of metal grow to towering tree trunks, then calcify
00:02:00 to pillars of bone. In the skies above you, stars twinkle and are then hidden by the vaulted ceiling
00:02:06 of a music hall whose grandeur gives way to wet stone lit by burning torches before a canyon
00:02:13 opens up as pterosaurs swoop beneath the midday sun. And always outside the ring, looming over
00:02:22 you all is the figure of the question collector, a tall, muscular man in a green suit leaning on a
00:02:30 question mark cane, a pair of shimmering spectacles perched on his superior nose. Well, well, well.
00:02:42 Why do we fight? And why do we watch fighting? What is it about combat that we crave?
00:02:53 Why, when we can't fight for ourselves, do we build machines to fight for us?
00:03:02 Why do we use violence to make a name for ourselves? Why do we seek real physical pain
00:03:10 to feel alive? Why does nothing else in the world feel quite as good as a fight?
00:03:18 Who, Rick Thunder, are we fighting for? Why does every reality I can see revolve around fighting?
00:03:30 Questions, questions, questions. What would any fight promoter do with all of time and space
00:03:42 at his fingertips? With every promotion in the multiverse under one pan-dimensional banner?
00:03:53 Why, he would find answers. Welcome to CBW. Welcome to this crisis between worlds.
00:04:06 And the question collector simply hovers above and outside the ring at a distance,
00:04:22 watching you. You're not gonna find any answers here, you stupid floaty person. Look, okay,
00:04:32 everyone else, Lightning family, huddle. Don't, don't, the most important thing now is that we
00:04:39 stick together. Uh, what does everyone want to get out of this? I'm here obviously for my best
00:04:44 friend, but there must be a reason each one of you have come along with me, right? What about you,
00:04:48 Mad Dog? Shooting people. Okay, Fairmont. I want to restore the great Fairmont name, of course.
00:04:56 Demonique. I don't want to be forgotten in D'ohl anymore. And Amica? I was quite bored.
00:05:06 That makes sense, yes. All worthy causes. Die for my dear. Wait, what? What? Wait, wait,
00:05:16 circle back? What? What? Die? Die? Guys, guys, I clearly said this to each and every single one
00:05:24 of you before we came. Oh no. No, no, no. I did all of my talking with Mad Dog. And you didn't
00:05:32 even give me a single bit of this. I gave you a cucumber sandwich. I was essentially stolen from
00:05:38 my time. It's true, we did steal him. Well, now we're here. Now we might as well. Yeah. Fight for
00:05:46 the death because we've got to rid this person from all the timelines. I've encountered him
00:05:52 through multiple different realities and he's never a force for good. Hold on, hold on, hold on.
00:05:58 You want me to risk my life because you want to fuck a plane? I don't, I don't, I don't. No one
00:06:05 said that. He's my best friend. Oh, right. Sorry. I misunderstood. My apologies. I'm saving my best
00:06:12 friend. Okay. That makes more sense. So Rick, you're that weird guy who, old guy who came to
00:06:20 our school for two days, aren't you? I mean, there was a whole thing after that. We have a curfew now.
00:06:25 No, no, no. I was there. Why are you talking when you should be fighting?
00:06:33 And he's got a point. Jets of plasmid purple time energy, uh, shoot out of the question
00:06:40 collector's hand and scatter a Rick Thunder and the Lightning family to the four corners of this
00:06:46 ever expanding ring. Demonique, you find the environment around you start to change slightly
00:06:52 to something that resembles a very familiar luxurious decor, but very nice house in a very
00:06:58 nice part of the city. And then the ground beneath you starts to bubble and simmer and steam and
00:07:06 emerging from the now melting wax that makes up the floor in front of you is the figure of your
00:07:13 husband, Desmond de Composay. Now more wax than man drooling, hot molten dripping from his lips,
00:07:21 his eyes burning like candle flames, his misshapen and malicious form lumbering towards you. Mad Dog,
00:07:29 you find the mat beneath you drifts to sand as a man, a tall, broad shouldered, nasty looking dude
00:07:36 with missing teeth, a missing eye, cauliflower ear, scars across most of his face, a big heavy
00:07:44 duster across his shoulders. He has graying hair at his temples like a sort of silvery and graying
00:07:51 beard. His face is beaten down by the sun. He has a thick brimmed black hat covering some of his
00:07:58 eyes and he steps out through the sand to face you. "Who the hell are you, son? Who the hell are you?
00:08:08 Can you honestly tell me you don't know who I am? Everybody knows the name of Mad Dog McCree."
00:08:18 And he lifts his hat and you find yourself looking into a face you have only really seen
00:08:24 in newspaper clippings and one photo your mother used to keep by the bedside cabinet.
00:08:29 "Now answer my question. Who the fuck are you?"
00:08:35 "I'm Mad Dog McCree. I'm your son, dad."
00:08:45 "Mad Dog."
00:08:50 "Well, then I'm gonna make you a son of a bitch."
00:08:54 Piston, you brace yourself wondering what is coming for you as the map beneath you starts to
00:09:04 harden into a metallic surface and the ring rates start to buzz slightly in your corner
00:09:10 with electrical energy. A purple portal opens in time and there is a clank, clank, clank, clank
00:09:17 and out steps one, two, three, four of the wrestling robots you barely escaped back in the year 3000.
00:09:24 "Oh, come on."
00:09:25 And all of them face, all of them like eyes turn towards you. Again, there is a single,
00:09:30 there seems to be like a single mind focusing these robots and they simply lumber towards you,
00:09:36 clanking fists and grinding hands. And Amelia, the canvas beneath you turns to the wooden boards of a
00:09:45 stage as a portal in time opens and out steps a man, a man whose image you probably know better
00:09:52 than any other image in the world. He is wearing a doublet. He has a bald top and wisps of dark hair
00:10:00 around the side of his head and a neat little goatee. And as he flexes muscles, which the
00:10:06 history books didn't mention, you find yourself standing under the shadow of the massive bulking
00:10:13 muscle of William Shakespeare himself. "Oh my God." "My name is you." "Oh God." "Rick, Bill,
00:10:26 can I call you Bill? I don't mean to freak out, but I am such a fan of your work. I am such a fan.
00:10:32 I was Lady Macbeth in the school play." "Well, that was then and now is the winter of your
00:10:39 discontent." And he lunges for you. And finally, Rick left alone now in the center of this arena.
00:10:46 "I have something very special for you, Rick." He clicks his fingers and a portal opens high above
00:10:55 you, too far to reach, but high enough to see. And you find yourself looking into a very familiar
00:11:01 garden. In fact, this is a scene you found yourself looking into not so long ago when you were in the
00:11:07 skies above Cruel Botania Wrestling. It's season one love interest, Julie Lovely. She's hanging out
00:11:14 a washing. She doesn't see you. And there's that man again. "Julie!" Approaching the gate.
00:11:19 She turns as she hears the click of the latch on the gate and the squeak of the hinges as it opens.
00:11:27 And as the man steps into the garden, you recognize him. You know this man. This man
00:11:34 approaching Julie Lovely is none other than Tim Quick, aka Timotei Kvikniev, the Red Scare himself.
00:11:43 Julie looks up at him. "That guy." This is a Julie Lovely who lives in a world where everyone thinks
00:11:49 Rick Thunder died a hero. And as Rick reaches Julie, he puts an arm on her shoulder, a hand on
00:11:57 her cheek, and leans in to kiss her. And at that second, the question collector clenches his fist
00:12:05 and pulls Tim Quick out of that time and brings him, boom, straight down into the mat in front of
00:12:11 you. He's dazed for a moment, looks around him, sees you, looks back up at the abandoned lips
00:12:19 of Julie Lovely, looks you straight in the eye. "Rick Thunder, I hate you so much!"
00:12:27 Um, Rick, what are you doing? Lead us off. Well, first of all, I'm actually gonna thank
00:12:35 the question collector for dragging Tim Quick here. Maybe this isn't all bad,
00:12:40 because I've been wanting to get my hands on him for a long time. Not just a long time, but through
00:12:46 time. I believe I'm wearing a freaking mech suit and he's just been pulled out of the garden.
00:12:53 Um, give me a power roll for that punch.
00:12:59 Ah, bollocks, one.
00:13:02 Natural or unnatural?
00:13:05 Unnatural.
00:13:08 An unnatural one? Okay, um, you thrust your robotic fist forward and immediately he puts
00:13:14 up his forearm to block and there is a clank as you do so. You see some of the skin over
00:13:20 Tim's arm split and behind the epidermis is a shining smooth layer of steel.
00:13:27 Oh yes, Rick. While I was in the future, I made sure I found some time for some
00:13:37 home improvements. Clank, clank, clank. He goes to swing a fist at you. We're going to cut now to
00:13:43 um, demonique as this shambling wax monstrosity just looms over you as bits of wax sort of drip
00:13:50 down on the floor and shoulders. What are you doing? Well, if it's like quite wet and hot and
00:13:56 things, can I just not mold his arms like into the shape of a candle? Um, you're absolutely
00:14:02 welcome to try that as a work roll for that bit of sculpting. Lovely bit of sculpting. I did do
00:14:07 candle making, so I was bored. It's finally paying off. What was it on? Work. Oh, that's work, yeah.
00:14:14 Seven. Seven, um, that'll do it, yeah. Um, you managed to very quickly and very neatly
00:14:20 sculpt the top half of this big beast into a candle shape. Um, I'm going to pluck hair out
00:14:26 of his head and stick it in the top and light it like a candle. Um, that is going to be a,
00:14:32 I feel like that's another work roll because that's kind of arts and crafts, right? That's
00:14:37 precise. Uh, so work, ten. Ten. Um, yeah, you successfully pluck out what few bits of hair
00:14:46 remained after his whole body just became one with the wax. Arrange a neat little wick on the top.
00:14:51 Um, and what are you lighting it with? I'm lighting it with the fire of my soul.
00:14:55 Oh, nice. Um, that'll do for me. Yeah. A little bit of actual hell flame sort of
00:15:04 jets out of your mouth just a little bit, like out of your nose, almost like a dragon snorts out
00:15:08 and just catches the top of the wick. And as the wick burns, the, the form of, uh, your once
00:15:13 husband now monster starts to melt faster and finds a much harder time making shape. It seems
00:15:18 to sort of be dropping into a big gelatinous mess now. Mad Dog, what are you doing? I believe
00:15:26 we find ourselves in an impasse here. I think there can only be one Mad Dog in this town.
00:15:34 It seems as though you're dead. Now I'm alive. I think it should be me. I'll tell you this much,
00:15:43 Dad. I ain't killed today yet. Think it's about time I changed that.
00:15:53 Draw. Pull my gun out and shoot him. Okay. I'm going to ask for a real roll on that.
00:15:59 Always real, man. I mean, of course it is. It's a gun.
00:16:03 Fucking five. Five. Um, unfortunately your dad, uh, he's old, but he's fast. And he's been doing
00:16:12 this a lot longer than you is too quick. He immediately pulls out like an almost rusted
00:16:17 six shooter, squeezes the trigger. And just before the hammer connects, um, with the chamber in your
00:16:23 gun, it flies out of your hand and you're left with just your bare fists. You have to wake up
00:16:28 pretty early in the morning to get one over a man who doesn't sleep. And I guess we'll do this the
00:16:33 old fashioned way. I'm about to fuck you up. Run at him, uh, with a punch. Like just, just running
00:16:43 at him to try and suck him in the face. Okay. We're going to pause for a second there. And
00:16:47 we're going to go to Piston. Um, these robots have sort of surrounded you now again, like
00:16:52 equidistant apart. They're sort of red glowing eyes focused on you. Um, they don't seem to be
00:16:58 doing anything right now except blocking your movement from going anywhere else.
00:17:01 I checked my wallet. See if I've got any money to pay me, buy them off.
00:17:05 Give me a look. Roll.
00:17:08 That's plus one.
00:17:19 You forgot your wallet, didn't you?
00:17:20 So on that critical fail, um, the rope, I guess you'd get out your wallet and open up and there's
00:17:32 no money there. And as soon as the robot seemed to notice, um, that there is no money in your
00:17:37 wallet, that you have no capital, no nothing. You're destitute. The red and the rise seems to
00:17:43 glow deeper. Um, and a huge metallic hand from each robot reaches out to grab you across the
00:17:51 shoulder, um, and lift you up into the air and a voice emanates from within these robots.
00:17:59 What's happened to my money?
00:18:06 Money? It's my money. This is Fairmont money. That's who I am. Piston Fairmont,
00:18:15 the son of the father of robotics. And you shall unhand me.
00:18:19 I suppose that would be the fair thing to do, but life isn't fair.
00:18:29 Daddy?
00:18:34 And we're going to cut to Amelia. What are you doing? Um, the bard is looming over you. All
00:18:38 muscle and playwriting talent.
00:18:40 I'm still a little bit, I'm a little bit fangirling, but I do just turn to him and I just
00:18:45 say, look, Bill, I know you think this is sort of a two-hander scene between the both of us,
00:18:50 but let me tell you, this is a soliloquy, darling. And what I'm going to do is I'm going to start a
00:18:55 performance of A Little Fight Music. And I'm going to try and running knees him with a move
00:19:00 I call the Academies Awards, which is the running knee strike. Running knee strike,
00:19:04 a power roll. I think for that, there's a lot of force behind a running knee strike.
00:19:07 Oh, it's going really well today.
00:19:14 He grabs you by the ankle as you leap towards him midair. And then simply in a flex of a massive
00:19:24 Elizabethan bicep, flings you up into the air for his signature loves labors tossed
00:19:32 and sends you soaring across the arena into a, thankfully hempen rope rope this time,
00:19:39 which you bounce off. He starts lunging towards you. If I prick you, you will bleed.
00:19:45 If bruises be the food of love, something I'm in love bruises, I'm covered in bruises,
00:19:51 is what I'm trying to say. And I am going to go for a move. I'm going to just try and get to my
00:19:57 feet and rush him with a move called the crescendo, which is a sort of running inverted cannonball.
00:20:02 Ooh, that's, I think that's tricky enough. I will let you do power or work and how it
00:20:08 goes will depend on which one you've got. For on a work. He simply braces his core.
00:20:17 Um, the cannonball just hits him in his massive Shakespearean abs
00:20:21 and bounces off like you were bouncing off a springboard.
00:20:24 I'll fight till from my bones, my flesh be hacked. Rick, what are you doing? You've got a metallic
00:20:35 cyborg esque fish fist heading towards your face right now.
00:20:38 Well, it's, it's not just that I've got super reflexes now. So
00:20:43 slow down. Uh, I look around and I see everyone, you know, failing essentially,
00:20:49 but that their moves aren't working apart from demonate,
00:20:52 but everyone else is, is literally on the ropes in some cases. And that's when I realized
00:20:59 we've got to work together as a team, surely. So I am going to take Tim quicks arm and I'm gonna,
00:21:12 an old move from my cowboy wrestling days, pistol whip him into the turnbuckle that has
00:21:21 mad dogs dad in. So you're going to try and pistol whip him towards mad dogs dad. Yes. Okay. So,
00:21:30 Ooh, okay. I guess because you're using his momentum against him, judo style.
00:21:37 Yeah. Um, that can be work. Cause I let you roll and work last time he did some judo.
00:21:41 Works, uh, works plus one, seven. Yeah. Yeah. We scraped by minimum default.
00:21:54 This chrome fist, um, swings with just past your face. You're able to grab it.
00:22:00 And then an excellent display of the judo you learned at the university of California,
00:22:04 Los Angeles for fighter pilots and pit stop girls, which he graduated from in 1988.
00:22:09 You fling, um, uh, you fling, uh, Tim, Tim, what's a quick, yeah.
00:22:16 Straight into the turnbuckle, um, colliding with the body of mad dad,
00:22:23 Doc McCree for the sake of clarity, who, uh, who drops the, the Bowie knife. He had just pulled out
00:22:30 um, to stab his son where the drops to the floor. Um, and with that, we're going to cut to you,
00:22:35 mad dog. Uh, you've seen, yeah. Your dad's just pulled a knife on you as you lunched for him.
00:22:38 And then the body of a, a boyishly handsome part metal has just knocked the knife out of his hand.
00:22:45 What are you doing? Thanks Thunder. I don't know. Uh, I'm going to suplex my dad.
00:22:52 Okay. Suplex. I think suplex is a power roll, man. That's a lot of strength in a suplex.
00:23:06 It's not good either. Three, three. Um, you didn't work together. Yeah.
00:23:12 I'm busy, man. You go to grab your dad for the suplex and he simply reverses it fits his hands
00:23:20 like underneath your thighs and waist and suplexes you boom back over his shoulders, back onto the
00:23:25 mat. Stay down, boy. Stay down in the dirt. Stay away from our goal. I never stayed away from no
00:23:33 fat in my life. I also ain't never been in a place like this before in my life or bought you in my
00:23:38 life either. So day of firsts and it'll be a day of lasts when I'm done with you, son. Oh, oh,
00:23:46 that's good. Another knife. Another knife from his pocket and just drives it straight towards
00:23:51 your face. What are you doing? Uh, I'm going to, um, block the, uh, the nice trajectory towards
00:23:58 my face. Okay. We're going to pause it. We're going to pause it for a moment there. And then
00:24:01 we're going to move to Demonique. The, the, the, the figure of your ex-husband's wax husband is
00:24:08 now melted into a sort of molten slurry, but it's still slumbering and lurching towards you in big
00:24:13 gloopy movements. Oh, why'd he die? Can I just like spread him out on the floor and then make
00:24:18 him into the mat that I then want to fight on? Um, yes. Turn your husband's wax and remains into a
00:24:24 ersatz wrestling mat with a work roll. That'd be lovely. Work. Please be good. Don't be shit.
00:24:31 Ah, five. Yeah. Welcome to the club, Lo. Work together, guys.
00:24:39 What could be more working together than being in the lightning family and rolling terribly?
00:24:44 He's not really doing anything, so I'm pretty sure I could do something else to him.
00:24:47 Um, you, you, you can stick with that or you can re-roll, but you have to choose before it results.
00:24:53 No, I'm not going to re-roll. Oh, you surprised us all today. Um,
00:24:58 the, um, in which case, yeah, this molten mass just then swarms around you and completely engulfs
00:25:03 you on every single side until you're basically lost in this molten mass of wax. Um, you can't,
00:25:07 you can't see, you can't hear. Crucially, you can't breathe. Um, at this point you're gasping
00:25:12 and struggling for air. Uh, what's the next thing you're going to try and do?
00:25:14 Um, the air is cutting off and I actually can't see any way out. I can't move anything. Um,
00:25:22 and I'm stuck and it's really, really, really awful. Um, I think,
00:25:26 can I sense the presence of someone nearby?
00:25:32 Are you doing what I think you're going to try and do?
00:25:34 I want to.
00:25:35 Yeah, go for it. Give me a look roll.
00:25:37 Oh, nine.
00:25:43 Okay. We're gonna, um, can you just, can you tell me just the very start of what you're
00:25:48 starting to feel and then we'll cut to Piston.
00:25:49 I can feel the presence of someone missing in this group.
00:25:51 Boom. And we cut to Piston Fermont held up in full metallic hands by the robots
00:25:56 that speak words he knows very, very well.
00:25:58 I, uh, indicate over, um, one of the robots, uh, shoulders and I go, look, Papa, the paw.
00:26:05 In an attempt to distract him.
00:26:08 Give me a look roll.
00:26:09 That's one. Oh, hell yeah. That's nine.
00:26:15 There we go.
00:26:18 Instantaneously the, the elitist chrome domes of these four bots turn in unison, um, towards
00:26:24 which direction, who, who, who in the ring you pointed them towards roughly?
00:26:27 Um, oh, that poor suffering playwright, William Shakespeare.
00:26:31 Yeah. They all move towards William Shakespeare and are distracted. How are you following up?
00:26:36 I get my screwdriver and I, one of the, is one of them still got me or am I left by myself?
00:26:41 You're, you're still held by four hands, but the heads have turned
00:26:44 and no one's looking at you anymore.
00:26:46 I reach behind me with my screwdriver and I try and basically, um, because I, I built all my,
00:26:52 all my robots with my signature move, the Chateau La Fist.
00:26:56 Um, so I'm going to try and take a screwdriver and basically the one of the hand that's got me
00:27:02 by the scruff of the neck, like sort of hack into it so that it fires me across the room.
00:27:07 Um, give me a work role, please. Piston on that, um, tinkering job.
00:27:10 Certainly. Work role.
00:27:14 That is a very dirty 12.
00:27:17 Nice. Um, then please take us through what you do best.
00:27:22 Channeling again, my, um, remembering, um, my boyhood years when my father, uh,
00:27:28 Howard Fairmont would take me around his laboratory and just show me, uh, all the
00:27:33 little bits and pieces he was working on. And I would just sort of tinker with them
00:27:36 and it would make him very cross. But I, I obviously had an aptitude for it. I,
00:27:39 I tinker with the, with the wrist joints of one of the robots. I believe it's a cyborg Lesnar.
00:27:46 And I activate the Chateau La Fist 1869 protocols. Although since I've lost my fortune,
00:27:52 it it's not named that anymore. It's now called the WMD 2020.
00:27:57 Um, and I aim it towards, um, William Shakespeare and fire.
00:28:04 Yes. Um, it rockets straight out of the wrist of
00:28:08 cyborg Lesnar. And we cut now to Amelia as the figure of William Shakespeare looms over you,
00:28:14 all muscle and iambic pentameter. Suddenly there is a clunk as a metallic fist hits him on the
00:28:21 back of the head and distracts him for a moment. Once more onto the beach and I hop up and I
00:28:26 attempt to trip him over and I'm going to do tread the floorboards, which is where I walk
00:28:29 up and down his back while making it all about me. Because it's all about you, man. You can
00:28:34 look on that. You can roll on look good. Cause that's actually a pass. That's a nine. Um,
00:28:40 yeah. Um, please, please make, make it all about you.
00:28:43 So I make sure that I'm wearing my obviously I always wear my heels out, but I'm, uh,
00:28:49 I make sure that I'm driving them in with every single step. And I start to skip and
00:28:52 frolic while I'm singing songs from play, uh, from musicals that I love with new words.
00:28:57 And I'm just singing hospital. You're going to hospital and I'm just stamping, stamping,
00:29:02 stamping away. The, the, the point of your heels is maybe more than even the tough muscles
00:29:11 of the strongest man in Elizabethan England. William Shakespeare is able to take, um, and
00:29:16 you start to, you start to see little drops of blood appear where you stamp your feet.
00:29:20 And the pain is at this point in time, taking Shakespeare's full concentration.
00:29:23 How are you following up that? Uh, I am then going to drop into the hook of Mormon, which
00:29:29 is a fish hook, uh, submission, but I'm going to attempt to put it in so hard that he passes out.
00:29:35 That is going to be a, I think a power roll for that submission.
00:29:38 That's a five. Uh, I am going to re-roll.
00:29:48 Cause I am going to, so as I, as I realized I sort of not hooked in properly, I'm going to,
00:29:55 rather than sort of transition, like lying down and doing it, I'm going to stand up as I do it
00:30:00 and throw my other arm into the air and just, just call out, look at me, everybody look at what I'm
00:30:09 doing. I'm ruining him. Cause making you all about me is my re-roll.
00:30:13 Uh, give me that re-roll man. You fucking behave.
00:30:18 No! It's a four.
00:30:24 As a team.
00:30:25 So as you are demanding attention from all and sundry, your focus is very much no longer
00:30:33 on William Shakespeare. Very simply, very quickly. You hear a voice say,
00:30:37 you missed your cue. Where it my cue to fight? I should have known it without a prompter.
00:30:44 And manages to rearrange himself into a position where, um, he has your leg in a really strong,
00:30:50 really secure ankle lock. Let's see if we can do something about those dancing feet. And then
00:30:54 squeezes on the ankle. And I'd like a look roll, please, from you, Mad Dog.
00:30:58 Uh, that'll be a seven.
00:31:05 Um, as the, as the company moves towards your face, you were just able to stop it with your
00:31:09 hands for a second. Got some gumption boy. We're going to quickly jump to Rick. What are you doing,
00:31:15 Rick? Well, I'm looking around and people, the Lightning family are starting to work together.
00:31:21 And you know, I've got a lot of love in me. I've got love for Julie Lovely. I've got love
00:31:25 for Danger Zone. I just want us all to work together and I want to save this dysfunctional
00:31:31 group of oddballs. So I think Demonique is the next person because at the moment she's covered
00:31:38 in wax. So as Tim Quick comes back towards me, I bust out the airplane in honor of Danger Zone,
00:31:46 lift him up, airplane spin, but only the top half of my body spins around because it's mech powered.
00:31:53 And I go over and use Tim Quick to chip away at the wax.
00:31:57 I'm going to say that's going to take a look roll because you're honoring Danger Zone.
00:32:03 Look is zero.
00:32:04 Eight.
00:32:06 Yes!
00:32:07 Working together, gang!
00:32:08 Okay, you start chipping away thunk, thunk, thunk, thunk with that wax as you hear sort of
00:32:14 Tim Quick's voice say "I hate you!" as he's revolving around. We're going to jump back
00:32:18 now again to Mad Dog.
00:32:20 I'm looking to push Dad Dog off me and then grab him by the scruff of his neck. And I'm going to
00:32:30 essentially try to bowl him into the robots that are attacking Fairmont.
00:32:36 Oh, Mad Dog, you have definitely asked for another power roll.
00:32:40 Oh yeah, oh yeah. I mean, my only good stat is my work and like it's not really the time to be
00:32:46 doing figure fours. I can nail it though, nine.
00:32:51 Yeah!
00:32:52 Working together, Lightning family.
00:32:57 It's quite a modern, I guess, stereotypical tradition for a father and son to go bowling
00:33:04 together, but not like this as you toss your dad across the mat rolling towards the robots
00:33:09 surrounding Piston. The spherical body now of your dad collides with the legs of these robots and
00:33:16 they start to buckle and drop Piston to the ground. Demonique, you succeeded on your roll. Please
00:33:21 tell us what is happening inside that wax cocoon that is being chipped away by your friend.
00:33:26 Okay, cool. I can feel the presence of some spirit. They are angry, they died and they are
00:33:33 overwhelming and they're desperate to get, they want to get into me and I, desperate for help,
00:33:40 I agree. And when I agree, my hair flashes purple and I slowly gain a super cape and stand.
00:33:54 I'm possessed by the past Gretamorph that died like a gecko, but wasn't quite a gecko. It was
00:34:01 a really awkward moment where I was fine, I died, okay, it's cool. And realising I'm Gretamorph,
00:34:07 I am going to say that I absorb their powers.
00:34:10 Whilst, you're still going to be using your stats, but you have the flavour of Gretamorph for sure.
00:34:17 Oh, the flavour? Can I turn into a fish and swim out of the wax?
00:34:22 Yes, indeed you can. The wax is solidifying, getting harder and harder, but there's probably
00:34:28 just enough liquid. I'm a swordfish, so I've got like. You know what man, you know what,
00:34:31 because you succeeded on that roll really well and because Rick is helping, you just swim out
00:34:35 of there through the power of teamwork and this little fish pops right out of this wax mound and
00:34:43 boom, a little like goldeen, goldeen, like a little goldfish. Swordfish, but fine. Sorry,
00:34:49 I misheard. A little goldfish, that's fine. Swordfish is good. I just, yeah, a swordfish
00:34:55 shoots out into the arena. What is a swordfish doing? Swordfish then quickly transforms back
00:35:01 into human form, looks around and sees the absolute mess, sees all the people in trouble
00:35:06 and going for, I would like to transform old school into jaguar and let's go for,
00:35:13 I want to say either Shakespeare or Dad Bucree, which one's in more trouble?
00:35:18 - Dad dog's a bowling ball. - Shakespeare currently has Amelia in
00:35:24 painful ankle lock. - Oh, okay. I'll go for Shakespeare. I'll come help you, babe.
00:35:27 - Okay. So hang on that for a second and we are going to go to Piston. You've been dropped to
00:35:32 the ground. You see an aged cowboy turn these robots into skittles and then flatten this back
00:35:38 in front of you and now on your feet and the robots. - What is it with dads today? And I
00:35:45 try and remember back to my schooling and I was never very an attentive school boy. So instead,
00:35:50 I shout over to Amelia. I said, Amelia, you've read your Shakespeare. How do you kill a dad?
00:35:56 - You stab him in the back. - Okay. You have your advice. What are
00:36:00 you doing, Piston? - I'll stab him in the back then. I
00:36:03 reached down. I just used my screwdriver to get old mad dog dad, old dad dog in the spine.
00:36:11 - Okay. Give me a work roll again for that. - Certainly. Plus one. That is a seven.
00:36:18 - That'll just about do it. Which robot are you going for?
00:36:21 - I'm going for dad dog. - Dad dog. Oh, you're going for dad dog spy.
00:36:25 - I'm going to stab him in the back. Help him out.
00:36:27 - Okay. Then that is a real roll because you're stabbing a man with a screwdriver.
00:36:31 - Can I roll again? - Nope.
00:36:33 - Okay. That's four then. - Four. Yeah. Quick as a flash.
00:36:42 Dad dog manages to get to his feet and grabs the screwdriver from you. In fact, he grabs it in his
00:36:46 teeth, bites down and just breaks the head of it off entirely. And then spits a piece of metal into
00:36:52 your face. This has also allowed the robots to get to their feet. And that robotic voice is starting
00:37:00 to sound more and more the longer it speaks like the voice of your father. You have tarnished the
00:37:06 Fairmont legacy forever. You have made our name synonymous with nothing more than misery,
00:37:12 embarrassment and failure. And for that, well, maybe it's time you fulfilled your greatest
00:37:20 potential uninhibited by the flesh. And the robots start to grab you on each limb and start to pull
00:37:26 you. And we're going to cut now to Amelia, who is still, yeah, you are in this ankle lock currently
00:37:33 from William Shakespeare. - I've sort of realized that everyone else
00:37:36 is playing as a team, but Amelia is not really a team player. So I'm going to have to crimp from
00:37:45 the only sort of rabble rousing spirited performance that I know in it to sort of act my
00:37:52 way out of this, I guess. And I sort of, it's still in this ankle lock, I begin to sort of drum my
00:37:57 hands on the floor and I say, do you hear the people sing, singing the song of angry Rick?
00:38:06 It is the music of a people who think that you're a prick cause you killed his best friend Jet,
00:38:14 who was a dog horse robot car. Now it is time to pay your debt and it's no holds barred.
00:38:21 And I just go to double footed kick William Shakespeare off me towards the nearest set of
00:38:30 robots. Because of that song, you have earned your right to roll on look. Good. Not good.
00:38:38 - Gravika. - What's a heel reroll?
00:38:42 Your heel reroll is doing whatever it takes to get what you want. And what you want is to be
00:38:46 a star. - Well, yes, I think this is, I utterly, I think if this fails, this is ruining my,
00:38:51 the performance of a lifetime. Obviously I've been working on those lyrics since the entire
00:38:56 time that we've been traveling together, just in case I needed them. You don't have that sort
00:39:00 of thing in your back pocket. So yeah, I do really think that this is something that I need to
00:39:05 achieve in order to be a star. Otherwise being dead doesn't make you a star, I guess. Okay.
00:39:11 Reroll that reroll. It's done it. And I'm very pleased.
00:39:15 - There's it. - Yes!
00:39:18 You are a star, darling. - All yours, Amelia. Tell us how you,
00:39:24 with complete and utter finality, defeat William Shakespeare in Mortal Kombat,
00:39:30 the sport he is best known for. - So as he's twisting my ankle,
00:39:34 I roll over onto my back and I bring one of my legs back and I jam it forward. And as we've known
00:39:40 from the High Heels earlier, they're quite puncturous. So they just slide straight in at
00:39:44 the chest and then he lets go of one ankle. The other one comes back and I just, two foot right
00:39:49 in the neck and two holes appear as he flips over in the air, a nice arc of claret spraying over the
00:39:55 ring as he pinballs into the robots. - Oh yes. With two jets of blood
00:40:01 powering around, gusting at the neck of William Shakespeare. He barrels once more into the robot
00:40:08 surrounding Piston, then continues to barrel out and in like a water feature rolls over the top of
00:40:19 the rope and out into the void. His blood just decorating the floor around where Piston stands.
00:40:26 Rick, what are you doing? - So it's a battle royal. This is
00:40:32 the thought process. And he said, if we throw people over the top rope, maybe that's the way
00:40:40 we can beat these horrible apparitions. So Tim Quick is still dizzy, I presume.
00:40:45 - He is very dizzy. - So having watched Shakespeare go over the top rope, I see the group of robots
00:40:54 still there and I bust out the Hindenburg, which was a move I never used in the Victorian era one,
00:41:05 where it's just a running pounce. - Okay.
00:41:10 You're just trying to pin into the ground? - No, no, no. I'm just going to run at them
00:41:17 and pounce them over the top rope, all of the robots in one motion.
00:41:21 - That's definitely going to be a power roll, basically, because you're basically just throwing
00:41:24 your body at them, man. - Yes. My robot body bollocks,
00:41:29 pounds minus two. Ah, one! - Natural or unnatural?
00:41:34 - I would have run off three at minus two. - Okay. As soon as you leap into that,
00:41:40 leap into that pounce, you feel a hand around your ankle and you look up to see,
00:41:45 no longer quite as dizzy as he was, Tim Quick, Timotei Kviknev, has you by the ankle.
00:41:50 - Ah, puny pilot, he says, and then bash, bash, bash, bash,
00:41:55 starts slamming you back and forth across the ground. I'm sorry, Rick, what are you doing?
00:42:00 - Ow, ow, ow. I'm trying to get some purchase, I guess, on him, trying to break his grip,
00:42:09 which is sort of an android strength level grip. And I am going to... So when he goes up,
00:42:20 on an upswing, I'm going to break his grip, I'm going to come up, flip a few times, and hit
00:42:27 my finishing move on him, the Danger Zone, which is a 450 corkscrew reverse thing. And I'm going
00:42:38 to splash, usually I'd splash on a prone, facing up body, but this time it's going to go straight
00:42:43 down on his head. - Okay. That is a straight 2D6 roll for a finisher. - Nine.
00:42:50 - Nine. It lands exactly how you want it to land. And what Piston and Chip were able to do is make
00:42:57 your suit more manoeuvrable, sort of use science to make this cumbersome thing something you can
00:43:01 shift around. But it's still super heavy, and the full weight of that suit lands straight down on
00:43:07 the body of Timotei Kviknev. - No!
00:43:10 - Ooh, he calls out as your body rockets towards him. What is the last thing you say to him before
00:43:16 your move connects? - Guess you weren't quick enough, you
00:43:20 cummy bastard. - With that, his cyborg body just shatters underneath the weight of your finisher,
00:43:28 and the cosmic winds blow those pieces out and over the top rope and out of the ring.
00:43:32 Mad Dog, what are you doing? - I'm going over to Dad Dog,
00:43:35 and I'm going to pick up his fallen body by his nostrils. I'm going to stare him in the eyes,
00:43:43 and I'm going to say, "I'm going to kick the shit out of you." And then when I'm done doing that,
00:43:49 I'm going to eat you up, and then shit you out. And then Famon over there, he's going to eat that
00:43:56 shit. And Dramica, she's going to eat the shit. - I'm having my pop-up.
00:44:01 - And then Thunder's going to eat this shit up, and it's going to go to Demon Egg. She's going
00:44:06 to eat that shit, and shit out that shit. And then I'm going to kick the shit out of you.
00:44:11 I'm going to swing him around to do the gunslinger, my finishing move, which is basically just
00:44:16 swinging him around through his nostrils in an attempt to throw him out of this arena.
00:44:20 - Hell yeah, 2d6 please. - Nine.
00:44:26 - Nine, yeah, all yours. - Just grabbing him by the nostrils,
00:44:31 just swinging him around and swinging him around, and he gets momentum, he gets momentum,
00:44:34 above my head, above my head, and shout "fuck off" as he flies over.
00:44:40 - That's crude, but effective. - Soars over.
00:44:46 Just the last thing you hear as he leaves is "my son", and then disappears into the void.
00:44:56 Demonique, you are currently a panther, lunging towards, well, you were lunging towards
00:45:03 Shakespeare, but Shakespeare has been amply finished off by America's sweetheart, Amelia
00:45:08 Dramacant. - I know, wonderful, well done.
00:45:10 - How would you like to redirect yourself and your powers?
00:45:13 - Okay, right, well, everyone's gotten rid of everyone, it's just Piston.
00:45:19 - Just Piston's robots, yes. - Is Wax Guy gone?
00:45:23 - Wax Guy is currently a solid wax mound, at the moment. Beyond that, you don't know.
00:45:30 - Okay, well, if he's just a solid wax mound, can I just pick him up and throw him over the
00:45:35 edge, please? - Cool, yeah.
00:45:37 - Great. - What animal are you turning into?
00:45:42 - Do you know what, I would like to be a beaver, so I'm gonna put my tail underneath and flip it.
00:45:49 - Cute, okay. - That's fun.
00:45:52 - That is a look roll. - That's a look, so it's plus one,
00:45:57 it's a dirty 12. - That'll do it.
00:46:00 What are your last words to the husk that was your husband as you flip him over the rope?
00:46:05 - Wax him in power! - And with that,
00:46:15 with that, Dominic Edmund Alexander Decomposé is truly and utterly dead.
00:46:23 - Oh, thank God. - And we cut to Piston.
00:46:27 What are you doing, my friend? - So how many robots do I have left?
00:46:34 - There are still, the robots are still surrounding you. One is missing, it's Fist,
00:46:40 but you're still surrounded by the robots. - I'm going to try and appeal to my father,
00:46:45 in which case. - Okay.
00:46:47 - Dad, Daddy, think of what we could do if we worked together.
00:46:57 I've seen, I finally feel like I'm part of a family now, the Lightning family,
00:47:07 and I'm offering you a place. Think of what we could do with your genius and this teamwork.
00:47:17 What a new legacy we could forge. - Okay, let's have you roll this
00:47:25 as if it was a finisher, if that's all right with you?
00:47:28 - Certainly. - I've dropped one of the dice,
00:47:35 but one of them's a six, though. - The tension!
00:47:39 - Jim, you better not come back naked. - It is a 10.
00:47:48 - A 10. - Nice.
00:47:50 - How deep? - Piston, my Piston,
00:47:56 what do you know of legacy? -
00:48:06 I know that sometimes the legacy you think you're fighting for
00:48:11 isn't the one you should be fighting for. -
00:48:17 Activate protocol, Dad.
00:48:34 - And the red light in these robots' eyes glow blue. They soften to a sort of a cool blue hue.
00:48:42 Piston, my son,
00:48:48 since you were born, I wanted nothing more than to have you working alongside me,
00:49:02 making the future together. But, but, you disappointed me so,
00:49:16 so much. You ran off on your own, making robots fight, drinking, sleeping around, bringing
00:49:29 the name Fairmont into the pages of Vanity Fair rather than Robotics Weekly.
00:49:36 - I'm amazed that magazine survived. Print media found a way, I remember.
00:49:43 - It went digital, son. This is a recording, but I assume that's a question you'd ask.
00:49:49 - You know me. - All I wanted was for us to work
00:49:54 side by side. Finally, finally. You've figured out where the future of Fairmont Robotics lies.
00:50:06 - I've realised that from now on, life isn't fair. Life isn't Fairmont either. Life is what we can
00:50:23 make together in the Lightning Family. - And with that...
00:50:32 - We are the Garmin Lightning Family.
00:50:37 - With that, the robots simply turn away from you and in unison march across the mat and
00:50:43 voluntarily step over the top rope and sink into the void. Who would have thought you'd succeed
00:50:50 against all these odds? Who indeed? Well, should I congratulate you?
00:51:01 Should I? - Congratulate us and also give us back
00:51:11 Danger Zone. - Oh yes, Danger Zone.
00:51:14 - How can I give back something that is gone? - You picked a man out of a garden.
00:51:26 - That's true. - From a different time.
00:51:29 - You did. - I'm sure you can make a plane real again.
00:51:32 - Okay. - Does he want to fuck the plane?
00:51:36 - Who is this Danger Zone? He wants to fuck the plane, doesn't he?
00:51:39 - It's totally fine if he wants to fuck the plane.
00:51:42 - Will you allow me... - If he wants to fuck the plane...
00:51:44 - What's confusing me is why is everybody getting robot friends?
00:51:46 - What's a robot? - Will you allow me to rephrase the question?
00:51:50 How are you going to make me? - Well, I think with the newly
00:52:01 hard therapy of the last 10 minutes, we've worked through some issues.
00:52:10 The Lightning family might not be the first group of people you come to to solve a problem,
00:52:14 but my God, we're going to solve you. - We are literally the first people you came to.
00:52:19 - Yes. - Wait, I was the first,
00:52:22 so everyone just... - You stole me.
00:52:23 - Yeah. - We came together for one cause,
00:52:29 because we all wanted the same thing, and that was to get Danger Zone back.
00:52:33 And to defeat you. There's your answer. You're no longer relevant.
00:52:38 - Is that so? - Can I launch at him, please?
00:52:44 Full Jaguar tiger. - You are all welcome to launch
00:52:50 at the question collector. - Great.
00:52:52 - Bear in mind, this is a man, nay being, who has time and space at his fingertips.
00:53:00 So I'm going to need, at the very least, some hard successes.
00:53:05 - Sounds like a job for Amelia, to be honest. She's the biggest killer.
00:53:09 - I'm going. Don't worry, darlings. This is it. This is it. This is the moment I've been waiting
00:53:15 for. All spotlights on me, and I'm just going to rush him. I'm going to go for the Academy's
00:53:21 awards again. Okay, that's going to be, at the very least, a hard success on Power.
00:53:26 Three. - Oops.
00:53:32 - Richard, did you bring a child to a time fight? And he clicks his fingers, and
00:53:43 there's a huge burst of energy shoots towards you, and whoomph. You just see the life force
00:53:50 dissipate from Amelia's body, through her eyes, through her ears, through her mouth,
00:53:55 through her nose. Her skin goes sallow and pale. Her skin starts to cling to her skeleton,
00:54:03 and boom, she lies on the ground, fading as more of her fingertips, her toes, her body just
00:54:10 dissipates into purple energy that starts to spread across the universe. Do you have any last words?
00:54:17 - Ah! - I don't want to go, Mr. Thunder.
00:54:25 - Oh. - Let me go.
00:54:28 Don't go anywhere. I don't want to die without an audience, but...
00:54:32 - And before you have... - This might be the final curtain.
00:54:37 Done. - Before you have time to even comfort her, Amelia's body dissipates into time-space dust,
00:54:47 and disappears off into the ether. Well, who's next?
00:54:52 - We really shouldn't have killed that student. - You killed that art man.
00:54:56 - Oh my god! - I'm just gonna run at him with
00:54:59 both of my guns just firing off many, many rounds. - Give me a real roll.
00:55:04 - No McGraw! - What is it?
00:55:15 - Is he frozen? - He's frozen.
00:55:18 - Luke, you're into that! - No, he's not frozen. He's pretending to be frozen.
00:55:23 - Oh, have you, um... - Luke, not now.
00:55:26 - Why would he pretend to be frozen right now? - No, he is frozen.
00:55:28 - Hello, hello. - He's back, he's back.
00:55:30 - I'm here, I'm here, sorry, sorry. - What did you roll last time?
00:55:34 - Oh, it was nine. - Nine.
00:55:36 Um, okay. That is not, unfortunately, a hard success, and in a way of art imitating life,
00:55:46 he simply twists his hand and you are frozen in time.
00:55:49 Um, do I want to repeat myself? Who is next?
00:55:56 I'm going full Jaguar, for your face, claws, everything.
00:56:02 Okay, that is a... ooh, because you said for your face, I'm going to ask for a real roll.
00:56:10 Oh, okay. Real, okay.
00:56:12 I'm gonna bite a chunk out of my shoulder to re-roll, because that was a five.
00:56:21 Okay, so you're gonna have to re-roll on real.
00:56:26 Sorry, it's gone under my hat. I have to roll again.
00:56:38 Sorry, it's rolling off the table.
00:56:39 - Hello. - God, it's very stressful.
00:56:42 I don't want to die like everyone else.
00:56:43 I'm not dead yet.
00:56:45 Okay, so that is...
00:56:46 - You're growing, you're frozen. - So hang on, if it's a ten, what's it...
00:56:50 is that a nine now?
00:56:51 So yeah, your real start is minus one, right?
00:56:56 Yeah.
00:56:56 So yeah, that's, I'm afraid that is not the hard success you need,
00:56:59 as it, with a nine, and again, another twist of the hand and you are frozen in time.
00:57:04 It is now just Piston and Rick. Piston, what are you doing?
00:57:07 - Run. - I'm gonna run away?
00:57:09 - You're just gonna run. - Yeah.
00:57:12 - What the fuck? - What was the...
00:57:14 Good job, team.
00:57:15 - You just did the lightning bandage seal for your dad. - I sang a song for my family.
00:57:19 - I sang a song. - I sang a song.
00:57:20 - Look. - Where are you gonna run to?
00:57:23 - The opposite way. - Fine.
00:57:28 You successfully...
00:57:30 He's not gonna stop you running to the opposite end of the ring,
00:57:32 if that's what you want to do with your time.
00:57:33 No need to roll.
00:57:35 You make it there, and as you get there, he twists his hand and freezes you in time.
00:57:39 It's just...
00:57:43 Rick.
00:57:44 Why is it always you, Rick, are the persistent thorn in my side?
00:57:55 Well, that's not really fair, is it?
00:58:00 I think it's fairer to ask.
00:58:02 What are you doing here?
00:58:04 I've told you time and time again.
00:58:07 I'm here...
00:58:08 Well, originally I was here to get back Danger Zone, my best friend.
00:58:12 But now I'm here to save Dramica, to save Magror, to save Demonique, to save Fairmont.
00:58:18 I'm here to save the Lightning family.
00:58:20 Do I like repeating myself?
00:58:23 What are you going to do about it?
00:58:25 Crap.
00:58:29 Where?
00:58:30 I am going to jump up
00:58:38 in one fluid mech suit motion, kick you in the gut, and then hit a thunderbomb on you.
00:58:49 Which is my super duper mech move, where I jump up further in the air,
00:58:55 spin you round loads of times, and do a powerbomb.
00:58:58 Okay, so that is going to be a look roll to attempt that.
00:59:06 Bear in mind, this is not just another man you are fighting.
00:59:09 Look is 0, 8.
00:59:14 Oh, Rick.
00:59:17 And as you spin your powerbomb and go to land in what seemed like it was going to be an
00:59:21 exceptionally flashy move, he simply grabs onto each part of your robot suit and just
00:59:27 wrenches it off from you, tearing the corpse of your best friend from your body.
00:59:32 Danger Zone!
00:59:32 Did you really think that a metal suit made from a dead plane could defeat a god?
00:59:42 And he throws you down onto the mat and then floats down onto his feet in front of you,
00:59:48 walks up to you.
00:59:51 Maybe this is finally the end for Rick Thunder.
00:59:56 Do you have any last words?
01:00:02 Sorry I failed you all, Lightning Family, and Julie Lovely, and America, and most of all,
01:00:12 Danger Zone.
01:00:15 Goodbye, Rick Thunder.
01:00:19 I said it.
01:00:22 Laurie, please tell us what happens now.
01:00:30 So as the question collector brings his arm down to strike Rick out of existence, it's
01:00:39 caught by another arm that's glowing with this sort of blue, orange, red plasmid energy.
01:00:46 And the figure you see in front of you, Rick, is one you recognize.
01:00:50 He's slightly older, maybe three years older, and he's certainly more grizzled, having
01:00:55 seemingly sacrificed much.
01:00:57 But this is a young man by the name of Bill, who one of his arms is glowing with this strange
01:01:04 energy.
01:01:04 The other arm is made of seemingly clockwork.
01:01:08 It's tiny gears and cogs all twisting, and his legs are shimmering.
01:01:12 And he just catches the question collector's hand and he says, "Question collector, my
01:01:18 name is Bill Bleo, and I have traveled across the realms to find you, and I have sacrificed
01:01:23 much to tell you this.
01:01:25 I'm here to revoke your library card."
01:01:28 [LAUGHTER]
01:01:34 Give me a power roll on that grip, please, Bill Bleo.
01:01:39 Dirty 12.
01:01:41 Dirty 12.
01:01:42 Oh, what the fuck?
01:01:44 You grab the arm of the question collector and fling it aside.
01:01:48 The built up time energy in his hand just dissipates into the ether again.
01:01:52 What the hell are you doing here?
01:01:58 Simple.
01:01:58 You took something from me, and you tried to pervert the course of the universe.
01:02:05 Now it's time to pay your debts.
01:02:08 And I'm going to step forward.
01:02:12 One of my legs is seemingly translucent.
01:02:16 I'm wearing a sort of black, Winklepicker shoe.
01:02:18 And--
01:02:19 Wigglebippers.
01:02:20 A wigglebipper.
01:02:21 I'm wearing a wigglebipper.
01:02:23 This sort of glows with, like-- it seems like you can see universes and multiverses glowing
01:02:28 in the surface of it, and 1,000 different stars, 1,000 different planets, the blues,
01:02:33 the greens, the gases.
01:02:34 And as I step forward, it sort of slips me through time.
01:02:38 I disappear.
01:02:38 It's become translucent.
01:02:39 And I appear directly behind the question collector.
01:02:42 And what I'm going to do is I am going to, with my energy hand, summon the shape of a
01:02:50 hammer that appears and glows in this brilliant blue-orange energy.
01:02:55 And I'm just going to wing it at the side of his head.
01:02:57 Make a look roll.
01:02:58 That is a 9.
01:03:04 It's a 9.
01:03:04 That will do it with those crazy powers of yours.
01:03:09 This energy hammer collides against the side of the question collector's head.
01:03:13 He stumbles back one, two, three feet, and then looks up at you with eyes filled with
01:03:17 hatred.
01:03:18 [SIGHS]
01:03:21 Do you think maybe that was a very big mistake?
01:03:24 And he uses the time energy in his hands to open up a small gap in the space-time continuum,
01:03:36 leading to the tremendous sucking power of your own personalized black hole, which starts
01:03:41 to drag you towards it.
01:03:43 What are you doing?
01:03:44 I'm going to twist the dial on the clockwork hand that I've got that's spreading up my
01:03:50 arm.
01:03:50 And as I do, it slows my pull of time.
01:03:54 So I'm traveling slightly slower than would be expected towards this void.
01:03:58 And as that's happening, I am going to aim above him with the other arm and make the
01:04:04 shape of a plug that I'm hoping is going to be sucked into that time rift.
01:04:12 A plug like-- oh, I was thinking like a stopper.
01:04:15 No, yeah, so like a stopper, yeah.
01:04:16 OK, make a look roll.
01:04:17 That is an 11.
01:04:21 That'll do it, yeah.
01:04:23 You create this stopper that shoots into this hole.
01:04:25 So, Bill, did you finally decide to earn your power then?
01:04:33 The thing about the Cosmic Library Question Collector is it makes life just too easy.
01:04:40 And I'm going to say, you may have power, but I've got some too.
01:04:44 And I'm going to strike out with a kick with my right leg.
01:04:48 And the edge of the pointed tip of the Winkle Picker is going to tear its own fabric in
01:04:54 space and time.
01:04:55 And what I'm hoping will come through is a load of tentacles that are going to wrap him
01:05:00 up.
01:05:00 That'll be a look roll for sure.
01:05:02 That is a-- that's only a six.
01:05:08 Unfortunately, no, you managed to open this rift in space and time with the Winkle Pickers.
01:05:13 The tentacles start to emerge out.
01:05:15 Question Collector says to you, do you think I'm impressed, boy?
01:05:20 Do you think a few arcane trinkets is a match for the totality of the cosmos itself?
01:05:31 And as the tentacles emerge, he simply moves his hands and they swarm around you and wrap
01:05:37 you up.
01:05:37 So you are now trapped in them.
01:05:39 However, Rick, as you're laying there on the floor seeing these two titans of arcane power
01:05:46 tussle in this ring, a little bit of residual time energy seems to leak out from the hole
01:05:56 which the Library Man appeared in from back in the comic book warrior universe.
01:06:02 And as it does, it starts to gravitate towards you and it begins to settle on your form and
01:06:10 almost infuse itself within you and you feel a feeling you haven't felt since you were
01:06:16 in Super Scrap.
01:06:17 Your body becomes lighter and yeah, that's right, you're starting to float slightly off
01:06:24 the ground.
01:06:24 Like you look around and everything starts to move into slow motion.
01:06:29 Your reactions increase a hundredfold.
01:06:32 You're flying, Rick.
01:06:33 You're flying again.
01:06:35 I feel like I've got the essence of Danger Zone.
01:06:38 It's just like when we were flying over the Bermuda Triangle or the old test field, just
01:06:44 taking Danger Zone for a spim.
01:06:46 Oh, to feel alive again!
01:06:49 Life!
01:06:50 And I fly round and I, using this sort of speed that I picked up, go for the barrel
01:07:00 roll straight into the question collector to dunk him into the tentacles.
01:07:07 The tentacles currently wrapped around Bill.
01:07:09 Okay, give me a, for the barrel roll, you can give me a work for that because you're
01:07:15 flying.
01:07:18 That would be 10.
01:07:20 10, that's enough to do it.
01:07:21 Yeah, you spin around, collide with the question collector with these new old superpowers back
01:07:26 in your body.
01:07:27 He lands into the tentacles surrounding Bill Bleau and the tentacles loosen their grip,
01:07:35 freeing Bill from their Lovecraftian grasp.
01:07:38 And the two of you are now free side by side in the middle of the ring, squaring off against
01:07:44 the question collector.
01:07:44 Have you ever flown in formation before?
01:07:47 Rick.
01:07:47 Oh yes!
01:07:49 Get going.
01:07:51 And I'm going to thrust one hand forward and I'm going to summon the shape of a jet
01:07:54 to fly alongside Rick and strafe the question collector.
01:07:59 That's a look roll, please.
01:08:02 Be kind.
01:08:06 Eight!
01:08:06 Eight, that'll do it.
01:08:08 What's the strafing supposed to achieve?
01:08:09 Just to sort of stagger him so that hopefully that Rick can follow up with something.
01:08:14 Okay, yeah, with that, absolutely.
01:08:16 So are you piloting the jet yourself?
01:08:18 I'm not in it, I'm just sort of guiding it around Greenlandian-style.
01:08:24 Gotcha, cool.
01:08:25 Yeah, that jet forms out of nothing and this energy jet sweeps past the question collector,
01:08:30 dropping his focus as he sees it go past.
01:08:31 For a moment he recognises the form of an F-16 Tomcat and for a moment, "Didn't I kill you?"
01:08:37 Rick, what are you doing?
01:08:39 So now I'm just going to charge ahead using, it's had many names through these different
01:08:45 realities, the silver bullet when it was a werewolf, the pistol whip when it was in the
01:08:51 cowboy universe, the barrel roll when it was elsewhere, but now at the end is a judo chop
01:08:59 of this spear.
01:09:00 I'm going to launch myself like a missile, a scud missile and judo chop the question collector
01:09:07 into this otherworldly portal with all the tentacles.
01:09:14 Give me a work roll.
01:09:16 Work roll is plus one, seven, eight, eight, eight.
01:09:22 Yeah, with your new powers that does it, connects with your new sort of super speed, the velocity
01:09:27 is enough to send the question collector staggering back and he finds himself briefly ensconced
01:09:31 in these interstellar tentacles.
01:09:34 With his focus dropped, you start to see bits of time energy leech away from his hands and
01:09:39 as that happens, demonique, piston, mad dog, you feel your body start to move again.
01:09:46 You feel your mind start to reawaken and you are free from that moment in stopped time
01:09:53 the question collector put you in.
01:09:54 Okay, everybody, this is it.
01:09:57 What are you doing?
01:09:59 Hands are blazing, man.
01:10:02 Give me a real roll then.
01:10:05 Ten.
01:10:10 Ten, excellent.
01:10:12 Finally!
01:10:13 Demonique, what are you doing?
01:10:14 I want to go for what I was going for before and it's classic, it makes me happy.
01:10:19 I want to go claws straight for the eyes and just drag for the eyes.
01:10:22 That is going to be a real roll.
01:10:24 That is minus two now.
01:10:31 Oh wait, minus two now.
01:10:33 So that's seven.
01:10:34 Seven, excellent.
01:10:35 So that's two successes.
01:10:36 Two successes out of five.
01:10:38 Piston, what are you doing?
01:10:40 I'm going to return to my new family with my old family.
01:10:44 I'm bringing my dad bots back and they're going to raise their fists in formation and
01:10:50 they're all going to fire the chateau la fist 1869.
01:10:55 I think we decided that was a look roll way back in cyber battle because it was just such
01:10:59 a good pun.
01:11:01 All right and that is hell yeah.
01:11:04 That's an eight.
01:11:05 Bill, what are you doing?
01:11:07 Bill is going to walk up and use the energy in his fist to summon the shape of a steel
01:11:12 chair and he is going to hit the question collector with the most devastating thing
01:11:17 in wrestling and unprotected chair shot.
01:11:20 Give me a, oh that is a look roll because it's an energy chair.
01:11:26 You just avoided real there.
01:11:27 Nine.
01:11:29 Nine.
01:11:30 And finally, Rick, what are you doing?
01:11:33 As this panther is clawing at the face of a question collector still partly pinned by
01:11:38 these eldritch tentacles as bullets from a thousand year old gun start to mess up his
01:11:48 lovely green suit as robotic fists powered by rockets collide with his face, his chest,
01:11:57 his stomach and as he suffers an unprotected chair shot to the head.
01:12:03 What are you doing, Rick?
01:12:04 I'm following through from that last judo chop move but now I've entered the barrel
01:12:10 roll portion of the move.
01:12:11 I'm spinning round and round and round and I'm continuing to judo chop him.
01:12:15 Judo chops.
01:12:17 Okay, give me.
01:12:19 I better get a success here.
01:12:20 You can give me a look roll.
01:12:23 In fact, give me a straight 2d6 on this.
01:12:26 Oh my God.
01:12:30 No.
01:12:31 Yes.
01:12:39 It's like they knew.
01:12:51 Okay, as he's bombarded by panther and bullet and steel chair and robot and as these chops just
01:12:58 decimate his body, they move at supersonic speed so fast it's like he's being hit by freight trains.
01:13:04 How is this possible?
01:13:06 How?
01:13:07 How?
01:13:08 How did you do this?
01:13:10 Well, this is one question I think we all know the answer to because we're together and we're
01:13:16 a family.
01:13:16 Lightning family.
01:13:19 The lightning family.
01:13:21 Lightning family.
01:13:24 And with a scream of cosmic agony, the question collector is pulled through this rift in space
01:13:32 time by these tentacles and the last thing you see of him as this rift closes these tentacles
01:13:37 pulling him asunder limb from limb from limb as he just himself dissipates into purple
01:13:44 time space energy leaving the five of you alone in the ring together.
01:13:51 The energy first settles on mad dog and you feel yourself starting to dissipate.
01:14:05 What you're looking at this this interstellar arena but you also find yourself looking at
01:14:09 the old west a horse tied up by a hitching post a general store and you know you are
01:14:17 returning right now to your own time what are your parting words?
01:14:22 That was fucking fern.
01:14:26 Head off into the time vault.
01:14:33 And you walk off through this kind of gap in time into a perfectly setting old west sunset.
01:14:40 Demonique, the same thing happens to you as you start to sort of see yourself looking at
01:14:45 the familiar sights of Victoria and London as time opens for you.
01:14:48 What are your last words to the lightning family?
01:14:51 You can come over any time.
01:14:58 And with that a very well to do panther steps back into Victoria and England.
01:15:11 Piston, you start to see the familiar sights of your liquor stained lab appear in front of you.
01:15:17 You'll excuse me.
01:15:21 I've had a rather brilliant idea for an invention.
01:15:26 And with that Piston Fairmont returns the future to cement his legacy as the time energy
01:15:35 swirls around the ring.
01:15:37 Something glinting on the floor in front of you.
01:15:41 It's a pair of very unassuming glimmering spectacles.
01:15:46 I pick them up.
01:15:52 And I put them on.
01:15:56 As energy begins to sort of glow around the area.
01:16:02 It was pre-knotted.
01:16:08 Pre-knotted.
01:16:09 Guard and grizzled head.
01:16:11 You can see also that all the energy that sort of was on his
01:16:20 wrists and stuff has dissipated as well.
01:16:23 And he just stands there in front of you and he goes, "Ah, that's better."
01:16:28 Do you have any, you feel a pull, you feel a cosmic pull to a place that you've been to
01:16:36 many times before.
01:16:37 Are there any last words you have for Rick Thunder?
01:16:39 Rick Thunder, it pains me to say this, but you are a true hero.
01:16:46 Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some books to return.
01:16:49 And Librarian Man, as you are rocketed out from yourself through the astral plane, you
01:16:58 find yourself traveling through time and space and reality to a familiar library, a familiar
01:17:04 repository of cosmic cognizance.
01:17:06 And you are now standing at the reception desk, a bell in front of you.
01:17:11 This shift in cosmic mass solidifies into a small white-haired man in his late 60s.
01:17:18 He has a huge shock of crazy white hair over the top of his head and a big, thick, bushy
01:17:21 mustache.
01:17:22 And he speaks to you, "Vance, ve accept our limits, ve go beyond them."
01:17:26 And he winks and disappears.
01:17:28 And as he disappears, the familiar layout of the librarian's office comes into view.
01:17:34 And you see on the door where the word "librarian" is marked in the glass, new words being written
01:17:39 out in cosmic ink.
01:17:41 It now says, "Librarian Bill Bleau."
01:17:44 Time to get this library some new members.
01:17:48 And finally, we are back once again with the Renegade Master, Rick Thunder, in the middle
01:17:56 of the ring.
01:17:56 There is still some time energy left.
01:18:01 And it just seems to be hovering around you near where that black box is.
01:18:06 Everyone's left me.
01:18:09 I'm more alone than ever now.
01:18:11 I thought I had a family.
01:18:12 I've lost my best friend.
01:18:14 I'm out of time.
01:18:15 Not even out of time.
01:18:16 I'm out of like any link to reality.
01:18:18 I've still got this box.
01:18:21 I hold it and I cry a bit on it.
01:18:27 A tear hits the box.
01:18:29 And as that tear hits the box, I would like a look roll from you, please.
01:18:34 One last look roll.
01:18:36 Oh, my God.
01:18:38 That would be eight.
01:18:42 That would be eight.
01:18:43 As that tear from a man whose body is infused with time energy still hits that box, you
01:18:52 see a shimmer across the smooth surface.
01:18:57 And all of a sudden, the box starts to shake, shake so much you have to drop it.
01:19:01 And more energy, more time energy pours out from both the residual energy in the room
01:19:05 and from the energy within yourself, swarming around this box, swarming and swarming and
01:19:11 growing and growing until you are blinded by this pure brilliance of plasmid energy.
01:19:16 And when you open your eyes, you can finally adjust to the light, your body feeling weighty
01:19:22 and normal and mortal again.
01:19:23 You find yourself looking at the form of a Tomcat jet.
01:19:28 Danger zone.
01:19:31 Is it just a jet?
01:19:33 Or are you there?
01:19:35 No word from the jet.
01:19:38 Oh, I guess at least I've got the plane to fly around this infinite void now.
01:19:50 Just put a hand on the jet.
01:19:53 And as you have, you know, you look down at the ground and put your hand on the jet expecting
01:19:56 to feel the smooth surface of a jet's body.
01:19:58 Instead, you feel what seems like a metallic hand.
01:20:02 And you look to find you have high fived the robotic form of none other than Danger Zone
01:20:10 the jet.
01:20:10 Rick Thunder, best friend.
01:20:14 And then as he does that, the last bit of time energy, the very last little bits that
01:20:22 is left, collects just right behind you and opens a portal.
01:20:27 A portal into a place you've seen twice now since you left the 90s.
01:20:33 You find yourself looking into a garden.
01:20:36 There is Julie Lovely.
01:20:39 And she is hanging out her washing.
01:20:42 She doesn't see you.
01:20:43 And the portal opens and the portal is fading fast, but still there.
01:20:52 Rick Thunder, best friend.
01:20:56 Rick Thunder, save Danger Zone.
01:21:01 Rick Thunder must go.
01:21:08 And a robotic hand points to the portal.
01:21:11 Not going to come with me.
01:21:17 You look and see that portal is just not big enough for a Tomcat jet.
01:21:22 You're not going to come to you.
01:21:28 Just gonna we could fit through that.
01:21:31 We can fit through that together.
01:21:33 You can just transform again.
01:21:35 Rick Thunder, good friend.
01:21:40 We've had some bad sometimes a buddy.
01:21:46 Rick Thunder, danger zone.
01:21:51 I think it's about time I slowed down a bit.
01:21:56 I love you.
01:21:58 I've got to go home and have a dance.
01:22:02 Rick Thunder, save Danger Zone.
01:22:08 Danger Zone, save Rick Thunder.
01:22:15 Rick Thunder, and he gives you the gentlest little push on your back.
01:22:18 That led you to the portal.
01:22:21 And then, quick as a flash, you find yourself in the familiar
01:22:29 flowered garden of Season One love interest, Julie Lovely.
01:22:35 She's still hanging out her washing.
01:22:37 She still doesn't see.
01:22:37 I just turn on the radio.
01:22:44 It just plays some old 40s war music, and I just I walk through slowly and I part
01:22:51 the bedsheets that she had up and I just take her and we dance in between the bedsheets.
01:22:58 Well, as you approach Julie Lovely, she sees you.
01:23:01 Rick.
01:23:03 Oh, my God, Rick.
01:23:04 Rick, I thought you were dead.
01:23:12 No, no, I'm back home.
01:23:14 Rick.
01:23:22 I've been teaching at that school for such a long time.
01:23:33 You never really mastered sign language, did you?
01:23:36 No, I just killed it.
01:23:40 If you did, you would have known what I just said.
01:23:43 I hate you so much.
01:23:50 Name is not Julie Lovely.
01:23:57 It is Julia Lovely.
01:23:59 Quick and I have been trying to kill you for such a long time.
01:24:08 Good bye, Rick Thunder.
01:24:11 She leans back and kicks you hard in the chest and you will launch just before it closes
01:24:16 back through that portal back into time and it closes again.
01:24:22 Rick, what?
01:24:26 And then she just goes back to hanging up her washing.
01:24:30 And that's all.
01:24:37 This time on CBW, we'll see you next time.
01:24:43 That's it.
01:24:47 The Thunderverse is closed.
01:24:49 For now, the QCU is done.
01:24:52 The next thing we are going to bring you is No Rolls Barred season two.
01:24:56 We're not sure when we are following health and safety guidelines.
01:24:59 So whenever we can get back into the same room, we will bring you season two.
01:25:02 But that is all for No Rolls Barred for now.
01:25:06 Do check out our Patreon, though, because our Patreon will very shortly becoming a Parts
01:25:11 Fun Known Patreon.
01:25:13 Basically, because we can't do No Rolls Barred every month, we thought, well, it really should
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01:25:19 So we're adding stuff for Calling Spot, QuizzleMania.
01:25:22 You can help choose booking videos.
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01:25:41 are already a part of that.
01:25:43 Thank you to each and every one of you.
01:25:45 Thanks to everyone who's watched these one shots.
01:25:48 We really, really appreciate it.
01:25:49 We've had so much fun doing them.
01:25:51 And we will see you again for No Rolls Barred in season two, whenever that may be.
01:25:56 Jam that jam, everyone.
01:25:59 [No audio]
01:26:09 We find ourselves in a place that cannot be described.
01:26:15 We find ourselves in a place that is both everywhere and nowhere at once.
01:26:23 A place that in all the multiverse of different realities and dimensions only exists once.
01:26:34 There is a bubble of purple energy, small at first, then more and more beads gather
01:26:45 and gather and consolidate in a flash into the bleeding, broken, torn and harried form
01:26:55 of the question collector.
01:26:56 His suit and tatters, his spectacles missing.
01:26:58 [Heavy breathing]
01:27:07 I'm alive.
01:27:07 How?
01:27:13 And he looks up with recognition across this space where he can just about make out the
01:27:21 figure of a large hulking form with its back turned to him.
01:27:30 I don't know what went wrong.
01:27:40 I thought I had the answers.
01:27:43 I am sorry, Master.
01:27:52 [No audio]