• 7 months ago
Sometimes the Grandest Stage Of Them All isn't all that grand after all. These are the 10 worst WrestleManias of all time

00:00 - Start
00:55 - 10
01:57 - 9
02:54 - 8
03:55 - 7
05:17 - 6
06:28 - 5
07:34 - 4
08:50 - 3
10:02 - 2
11:10 - 1

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Transcript
00:00 At the moment this video drops, we are halfway through WrestleMania 39 and here's some of
00:05 my reactions to matches I haven't seen yet because I'm recording this last Tuesday, but
00:09 I have to pretend I have seen for the sake of this video.
00:12 LOL, can't believe they put Logan Paul over Seth Rollins.
00:15 LOL, can't believe they put John Cena over Austin Theory.
00:19 LOL, can't believe Trish turned heel and stamped on Becky Lynch's head until she died.
00:23 No matter how last night went, things could always improve tonight and besides, even if
00:28 it doesn't, it would have to be really quite bad to be regarded as the worst WrestleMania
00:31 of all time because out of 38, I feel comfortable saying at least 15 of them are stinkers and
00:36 at least 10 of them are Captain Stinkers and the Mysterons.
00:39 But the big question is, what is the dumpest of the very dumps?
00:43 The blowcase of the immortals, the ultimate sports entertainment craptacular.
00:49 I'm Adam Hailing from PartsFunknown and here are our picks for the 10 Worst WrestleMania's
00:53 of all time.
00:55 Number 10, WrestleMania 29.
00:57 Now I know what you're going to say, but Adam, I'm an emotionally well-adjusted person, you
01:00 can tell by the fact I'm leaving a YouTube comment.
01:03 Anyway, doesn't this WrestleMania have CM Punk vs The Undertaker and it ruled and gang,
01:09 you're going to need to get that kind of sentiment out of your systems early because most sh*t
01:13 WrestleManias have at least one great match on them and it's very annoying for these lists.
01:17 Everything else on WrestleMania 29 though was the dictionary definition of mid.
01:21 Chris Jericho vs Fandango, Mark Henry vs Ryback, those matches wouldn't have been a f*cking
01:27 episode of Smackdown.
01:28 Alberto Del Rio vs Jack Swagger, get out of here asking us to pick sides between a
01:32 prick and a racist.
01:33 Triple H getting his win back against Lesnar, twice in a lifetime, stinking up the top of
01:38 the card because all of last year's novelty had worn away.
01:40 I guess a Shield match was alright.
01:42 I don't know man, this mania is so god damn forgettable.
01:44 Tons of Funk and the Funkadactyls, we're going to wrestle Team Road Scholars and the Bellas
01:48 on WrestleMania, on WrestleMania, before it got bumped.
01:52 Here's hoping Cody won't be bumped for time this year, depends how long Kid Rock wants
01:56 I suppose.
01:57 Number 9.
01:58 WrestleMania 13
01:59 Unlucky for us, another WrestleMania with one all-time great match and precisely, dick
02:04 else.
02:05 Bret Hart vs Stone Cold Steve Austin is a fantastic mix of tussles and blood, and here's
02:09 just a tasting menu of everything else that's on WrestleMania 13's card.
02:13 Gang warfare horsesh*t, the worst version of The Rock vs the worst version of Rikishi,
02:18 the Godwins wrestling, the tag team title match ending in a double countout, the quietest
02:23 main event in WrestleMania history as Sid waddles around the ring trying and failing
02:28 not to crap himself vs The Undertaker during his awkward phase.
02:32 There is a fat lot of nothing happening at this mania, essentially the last strangled
02:36 gasp of the new generation before it finally died and let the Attude Era grow like glorious
02:41 weeds from its gravesite.
02:42 The main event was so underwhelming that WrestleMania 13 racked up less than 250,000 pay-per-view
02:49 buys, which is still the record holder for the least bought WrestleMania of all time.
02:53 What a surprise.
02:54 8.
02:55 WrestleMania 15 This WrestleMania just looks like it smells.
02:59 Like you know when you see a picture of someone and you can just tell, "Oh, that guy smells."
03:02 Well this mania looks like it reeks of petrol and balls.
03:05 Maybe it's the fact that the show has the tagline "The Raging Climax" that, I think,
03:10 yes that's got something to do with it.
03:12 F*cking shudder.
03:13 This pay-per-view was main evented by the first ever Rock vs Austin, so sure, it has
03:17 that going for it, but the rest of this card is suspect.
03:20 It has probably the worst women's match in WrestleMania history, and I'm including that
03:24 Battle Royal won by a f*cking dude.
03:26 It has the Hell in a Cell match that ends with Big Boss Man proving he's snuff enough
03:30 by being f*cking hanged for arguing pleasure.
03:33 Billy Gunn and Road Dogg competing for the wrong championships, Dogg for the icy and
03:36 Gunn for the hardcore when that should have been the other way around.
03:39 Meaningless tag matches.
03:41 Butterbean!
03:42 Hey, he evaporated Bart Gunn's whole career in a few short punches, didn't he?
03:46 A bunch of swerves and weightless punch kicking under the pretense of WrestleMania only with
03:50 added murder this time.
03:51 I mean, I guess the show at least knew how to end, which is more than could be said for
03:55 #7.
03:56 WrestleMania 2000 Gosh, there were a few bad WrestleManias
03:59 in the action era, weren't there?
04:01 Is there anything with 2000 in the title that was any good?
04:03 Blues Brother 2000, Fantasia 2000, NWO 2000, Pokemon 2000.
04:09 I've added that one just to annoy Tempest and his love of the stupid pocket monsters,
04:13 because they're stupid, aren't they?
04:14 Gotta catch 'em all.
04:16 Grow up, Tempest.
04:17 But I can tell you something for sure, WrestleMania 2000 was a huge pile of ass.
04:21 In fairness, it's not all butts.
04:23 The Triangle Ladder match is one of the best spot fests of the attude here, and the Eurocontinental
04:27 match entertains for all 13 minutes of it.
04:29 But the rest of it is a crowsy, noisy, often incoherent jumble of underwhelming matches.
04:33 TNA vs. Headcheese?
04:35 That was the match they had at WrestleMania.
04:38 See also the final spot being botched in the Hardcore Battle Royal, leading to the wrong
04:42 guy winning the belt.
04:43 Caden Rikishi winning a heatless 4 minute match over DX.
04:47 Big Boss Man and Bull Buchanan vs. Godfather and D'Lo Brown.
04:50 What?
04:51 Well, I mean, congratulations Big Boss Man for successfully wrestling a match one year
04:54 after you were f***ing murdered.
04:55 However, unlike WrestleMania 15, the main event left a real sour taste after yet another
05:00 McMahon swerve robbing us of the Rock winning the title and at least setting the crowd home
05:04 happy.
05:05 It's a grimy mess.
05:07 Also I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to Tempest for saying mean things
05:11 about Pokemon.
05:12 I had to watch a lot of bad manias for this list and I'm lashing out.
05:17 Number 6.
05:18 WrestleMania 11.
05:19 Oh good, we're deep in the heart of new generation territory.
05:22 Larks.
05:23 Half the atudeer of WrestleManias were Hilary Wank, but at least they had the benefit of
05:27 the business being hot so the good stuff at least made people super happy.
05:30 These new gen manias took place while the company was still stumbling in the dark from
05:34 the lack of Hogan desperately emptying its talent drawers, holding hastily drawn cartoons
05:38 up to the camera and pleading, "Is this anything?
05:41 Is this anything?"
05:42 Case in point, 1995, when WWE's talent pool was so dry it looked more like a saucer of
05:47 rotten milk.
05:48 1995 was the year they had Mabel main event SummerSlam and Lawrence Taylor, an NFL linebacker,
05:53 main event against Bam Bam Bigelow at WrestleMania because they decided that Diesel vs Shawn
05:57 Michaels wasn't strong enough to main and honestly, it probably wasn't.
06:01 It was a dark time.
06:02 To be fair, Taylor gives it socks and he's a local hero to the crowd.
06:05 And I genuinely don't care about celebrities beating wrestlers anymore, just life's too
06:10 short, but the rest of the card is f*cking boring and that's far less excusable.
06:14 You can tell you're in for a rough go of it when the show opens with a tag match featuring
06:17 two lads with their SS tattoos proudly on display.
06:20 Even Bret Hart couldn't save the show, with him calling his I Quit match against Bob Backlund
06:24 the worst PPV match of his career.
06:26 Who are we to argue with Bret Hart?
06:28 Number 5 - WrestleMania 32
06:30 I mean, don't get me wrong.
06:33 As a whole, work rate, pom, stunt work, nostalgia, this event is light years ahead of any show
06:39 that WWE put out in the new gen.
06:41 The opening ladder match is probably better than the entirety of WrestleMania 11.
06:44 But what's that thing that Vince used to say?
06:46 Something about fans only remembering how a show ends?
06:49 A lot of really weird decisions were made during Mania 32.
06:52 Zack Ryder winning the IC title.
06:53 AJ Styles losing his first Mania match.
06:55 New Day losing to League of Nations in a match that stopped being for the tag titles I think
06:59 on the day of the show or while the show was happening.
07:02 Ambrose and Lesnar being a stinker.
07:04 Someone other than Sasha Banks winning the women's title.
07:06 Shane and Taker going 30 f***ing minutes for some ungodly reason.
07:10 Just jump off the thing Shane.
07:12 You're so old.
07:13 I don't want to see you wrestle.
07:15 But the main event truly sank this show.
07:18 Nearly half an hour of heatless wrestling to crown a champion no one wanted.
07:22 No WrestleMania 31 golden parachute here.
07:24 No miracle on Bourbon Street.
07:25 Just Suffer and Sucker Tash taking 27 minutes to beat Triple H in WWE's answer to a question
07:31 no one asked.
07:32 Grumpy plumpy.
07:34 Before WrestleMania 27.
07:37 F***.
07:38 Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole is f***ed.
07:42 It's easy to rank early WrestleMania's high on this list.
07:45 They are slow paced and WWE hadn't really worked out the kinks of how to structure their
07:48 year to round a supercar.
07:50 WrestleMania 27 had no f***ing excuse for being this god damn bad.
07:53 They know how to do it by now.
07:54 Why is it all so boring?
07:56 Why did The Rock not write his promo before he came out and started doing his yabba dabba
08:01 bulls***?
08:02 Why was Snooki wrestling?
08:03 How many tickets did that sell?
08:04 Why the core on my screen?
08:06 Go away the core.
08:07 Why did they put Cole vs. Lawler over halfway through the show and subject us to half a
08:12 WrestleMania with mind meltingly annoying heel Cole commentary?
08:16 Why did they feel the need to take Jerry Lawler's win away via laptop?
08:19 Why did they briefly end the main event of John Cena in the Miz via count out?
08:22 Why did The Rock lay the Smackdown on a laptop?
08:25 Why was it main evented by John Cena in the Miz in the first f***ing place?
08:29 Why any of this tedious bollocks?
08:31 Why was the only out and out great match on the card half a bloody hour long?
08:35 Why'd you do this Triple H?
08:37 Please.
08:38 Is it the most unwatchable WrestleMania?
08:40 Begrudgingly no.
08:42 They've got this whole production thing down, but it's probably the most needlessly annoying
08:47 WrestleMania of all time.
08:49 That has to count for something.
08:50 Number 3 - WrestleMania 9
08:52 Well I was wrong.
08:53 This is the most annoying.
08:54 I don't even know where to start.
08:55 This WrestleMania took place in a f***ing car park.
08:58 It was doomed from the start.
09:00 The show wasn't the absolute worst between the ropes, the Steiners.
09:03 That match was good.
09:04 HBK was good until a count out finish.
09:06 Bobby Heenan rode in on a camel.
09:08 It's not nothing, but so much hatred is poured on this show because it's seen as the poster
09:13 child and the starting point of the worst period in WWE history, the New Gen Era.
09:18 And all the terrible things that came to define that era are on display here.
09:22 A bunch of cartoony nonsense.
09:23 Case in point, Giant Gonzalez vs Undertaker.
09:26 Screwy finishes that put over no one and make no sense.
09:28 Case in point, the end of the tag title match.
09:31 Replacing the steroid guys they weren't allowed to use anymore with overweight guys who couldn't
09:35 really go.
09:36 Case in point, Bret Hart vs Yokozuna.
09:38 And having no major stars left and being unable or unwilling to make new ones.
09:42 Case in point, Hulk Hogan emerging after Bret lost his WWE Championship.
09:46 Yokozuna challenging Hogan and putting the belt on the line for no reason.
09:50 And then the show, one year on from Hogan's farewell match at WrestleMania 8, let us forget.
09:55 Starting with Hulk Hogan, WWE Champion.
09:59 It's a f***ing sh*t show.
10:00 I hate this list.
10:02 Number 2, WrestleMania 2.
10:04 This show is f***ing torture to watch.
10:06 And that's not just a modern sensibilities thing.
10:09 Compare WrestleMania 2 to WrestleMania 3 just one year later.
10:12 They're like night and day.
10:13 The best match on this 12, that's right 12 match card is the tag match between the British
10:17 Bulldogs and the Dream Team.
10:19 And that achieves the lofty heights of fine.
10:22 With a very funny post-match interview from Ozzy Osbourne dressed like Tracy from HR.
10:25 It's always a good sign when the first match of the night, Don Morocco vs Paul Orndorff
10:29 ends with bullsh*t chants.
10:30 It is a long, weird night of underwhelming matches.
10:33 It gets real boring, real quick.
10:35 But hey, at least we get to watch it properly.
10:37 Spare a thought for the live crowd.
10:38 See, Mania 2 took place in three separate arenas across the country.
10:41 One in LA, one in New York, one in Chicago.
10:44 So WWE cut the card up into three thirds.
10:46 Each arena would get their four matches and have to watch the rest of the show on monitors
10:49 above their heads.
10:50 Thanks for the money, you f*cking idiot.
10:52 Each city got to have an air quotes "main match" but when those are a boring boxing
10:57 match between Piper and Mr. T, a boring battle royal between NFL guys vs WWE guys, and a
11:03 boring cage match with Hogan killing King Kong Bundy over and over again, it just, it
11:08 starts to feel even more like a rip off.
11:10 And number one, WrestleMania 4.
11:13 This haunted f*cking card.
11:16 I, woah, I think a lot of people tend to remember this show fondly because they just remember
11:20 being the Mania where Macho Man Randy Savage won his first WWE Championship beating Ted
11:25 DiBiase in the tournament final to crown a new champion.
11:28 They tend to look at that shot of Miss Elizabeth on Macho's shoulder and smile, glossing
11:32 over the other, and this made me do a spit take, the other 15 matches on the card.
11:39 F*cking excuse me, WrestleMania 4?
11:42 And they book this tournament like crap too.
11:45 Too many competitors, too many matches.
11:47 There are six first round matches on this card.
11:51 Six.
11:52 Six first round matches.
11:53 Not even quarter f*cking finals, which means they all had to be short or have f*cking finishes.
11:59 Hogan and Andre getting double DQ'd, which doesn't make sense because Hogan hits Andre
12:03 with the chair first.
12:04 So Andre won this match, it doesn't make, what the f*ck is going on?
12:08 There's only two matches on the whole card that go over 10 minutes, but even then all
12:12 the entrances, all the nonsense, 16 total matches.
12:16 All of them feeling weightless until the very end.
12:18 It's a maddening conveyor belt of stuff you don't care about, that you can't care about,
12:23 and it never f*cking ends.
12:26 It's borderline impossible to watch this WrestleMania in two sittings, never mind one.
12:29 I couldn't do it, and I beg you not to try.
12:32 In terms of being actually hard to watch bad, which is probably the purest mark of a bad
12:37 entertainment product, WrestleMania 4 is head and shoulders the worst WrestleMania of all
12:42 time.
12:43 Oh, I hated this.
12:44 Tonight's WrestleMania night too, mate, it better be f*cking brilliant because I am in
12:48 a bad mood now.
12:49 Anyway, that's our list.
12:51 Check out last week's list.
12:53 There's an excerpt from it.
12:54 I'm happier in that one.
12:55 Bye.
12:56 Strategies over the past decade or so has been their reliance less on long-running stories
13:01 and more on isolated OMG moments.
13:04 Tiny little bits of celebrity involvement, shock swerves, or silly surprises that by
13:09 themselves.
13:09 by themselves.

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