• 7 months ago

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TV
Transcript
00:00:00 [no audio]
00:00:05 [music]
00:00:16 [crowd noise]
00:00:25 [no audio]
00:00:28 [music]
00:00:36 George Benjamin here with Channel 7 News.
00:00:38 The Amityville House, yes, you heard that right.
00:00:41 The Amityville House is finally being torn down.
00:00:45 After countless hauntings, murders, mysteries, sharks, vibrators, Christmas vacations,
00:00:51 I mean, you name it, and it's happened at the Amityville House.
00:00:55 Next up, Goruchan Saha sits down to talk about his latest film,
00:01:00 the big budget extravaganza, Kiss My Lips Before You Die, Part 4.
00:01:08 If you're one of those people that just need a relic from the house, you're in luck.
00:01:12 Items from the house are being auctioned off and can be yours.
00:01:16 True-life memorabilia, spooky household items, all within your grasp.
00:01:21 Just check out the website.
00:01:23 I don't know about you, but I may sleep with the light on tonight.
00:01:27 I never really liked any of those Amityville films.
00:01:30 I always thought they were kind of boring.
00:01:32 Well, maybe except for that one with the grandfather clock.
00:01:35 Yeah, that one was pretty cool.
00:01:37 [no audio]
00:01:40 Hi, I'm Steve Martin, and this is my video stone.
00:01:46 [crowd cheering]
00:01:52 No, I am not the actor Steve Martin.
00:01:57 I am a video store owner.
00:02:01 There's so many movies here.
00:02:05 I have gotten all scary movies, funny movies, action.
00:02:12 Hey, everybody, it's Spider here.
00:02:14 Coming soon podcast.
00:02:15 Okay, so I don't know, but don't you find it a little weird that the same week
00:02:19 that they start auctioning off all these Amityville items,
00:02:22 a bunch of weird alien UFO stuff starts popping up?
00:02:25 I was in my backyard, and one of those UFOs zoomed by.
00:02:29 I immediately lost control of my legs and my bladder at the same time.
00:02:34 I can never enjoy a cookout again.
00:02:37 Not after that.
00:02:40 Mary Lee Bunchcake, local stamp collector and historian,
00:02:43 says that aliens have been visiting the area for years,
00:02:46 and she welcomes them with open arms.
00:02:49 I don't know about you, but I won't want any little green men
00:02:52 probing around my husband's behind.
00:02:55 Now, back to Janet with the weather.
00:02:58 It looked weird, like a giant pie in the dark sky with some lights on it.
00:03:03 When I was little, I dreamed of seeing aliens.
00:03:08 Now I just want them to stop.
00:03:11 I hear aliens screaming whenever I close my eyes.
00:03:16 It was about three feet tall, I reckon.
00:03:19 Big eyes, like a Bratz doll.
00:03:22 I've seen a lot of stuff in my life.
00:03:24 Scary stuff, funny stuff, weird stuff.
00:03:28 I went out looking for a fight, but damn it, now I'm in love with an alien.
00:03:35 [music]
00:03:39 [music]
00:03:45 They're cute.
00:03:46 Increased sightings? UFOs?
00:03:49 No word from the authorities?
00:03:52 What is going on?
00:03:56 [music]
00:04:25 [music]
00:04:35 [music]
00:04:45 [music]
00:05:07 Paranormal fans, this is your favorite podcaster, Francis Erdmann.
00:05:11 We have a wild episode for you today.
00:05:14 Aliens in small town America.
00:05:17 It's wild and maybe apparently true.
00:05:20 We will sit down and talk to eyewitnesses that have seen these aliens firsthand,
00:05:26 and even some of them have been probed.
00:05:29 Insane. Stick with us.
00:05:32 [music]
00:05:39 [music]
00:05:49 [music]
00:05:59 [music]
00:06:09 [music]
00:06:17 Hey, quick question.
00:06:19 Wow, well this is bad, sis.
00:06:22 Dude, what the fuck? I'm trying to change. Can't you knock?
00:06:25 No time for knocks, sis. Tonight's the big night.
00:06:28 New year.
00:06:29 Hey, who cares?
00:06:33 We have a party to prepare for.
00:06:35 We? A party?
00:06:37 Well that's where it gets really fun because this party is happening right here.
00:06:42 And one more thing, did you unplug all of the computers?
00:06:45 Because apparently at 12 o'clock they're all supposed to be blowing up.
00:06:51 I think that's called Y2K.
00:06:53 And what about mom and dad? And Annie's supposed to--
00:06:55 Shhh.
00:06:58 Listen, it's real. You need to unplug all the computers,
00:07:02 make sure they're shut off before you unplug them, and yeah, it's called Y2K.
00:07:08 I know. I just told you that.
00:07:09 And mom and dad left this morning. Remember? The cruise?
00:07:14 Oh yeah, that was today.
00:07:16 Okay, but still, we can't have a party here. Annie's coming over and we have plans.
00:07:21 Oh snap. Annie the hot goth girl cutie with a booty?
00:07:24 That's a good idea. Definitely invite her. We need her at this party.
00:07:27 I didn't invite her to your party.
00:07:29 Our party.
00:07:32 Now I'm going to go grab some music.
00:07:34 Should I get a DJ?
00:07:36 I do have that Sugar Ray CD and I really want Sugar Ray to be played.
00:07:40 So my CD's only about an hour long.
00:07:45 I'm going to get a Sugar Ray specific DJ.
00:07:49 Okay. Yeah. This party is going to be all that and a bag of chips.
00:07:58 Sugar Ray.
00:08:03 All that and a bag of chips.
00:08:08 [Sugar Ray plays]
00:08:20 [Phone rings]
00:08:22 [Phone rings]
00:08:39 Hello?
00:08:41 Hey Annie.
00:08:42 Hey Em, what's up?
00:08:44 My brother just came into my room and told me they're throwing a party here tonight.
00:08:48 Shit. Did you tell him we have plans?
00:08:51 I didn't tell him what we were doing but I told him you're coming over and that we have plans.
00:08:54 But the moron thought I was inviting you.
00:08:56 Did he say anything about me?
00:08:58 I don't know. He said something about a hot goth girl with a booty.
00:09:02 He called me hot.
00:09:05 Hello?
00:09:07 Annie what the fuck?
00:09:08 The point is there's going to be a party here tonight and we have things to do.
00:09:12 Okay, okay.
00:09:14 Just let your brother have his little party and maybe it'll distract him enough so we can do what we need to do.
00:09:21 Okay Annie. I hope you're right.
00:09:23 Unless you want to go to the party.
00:09:26 I don't want to go to the party. Do you?
00:09:30 Of course not.
00:09:32 Good.
00:09:33 Good.
00:09:35 So did your mystery item arrive?
00:09:38 Not yet, but it'll be here soon.
00:09:41 Did you read all the books?
00:09:43 Yep. Multiple times. I know exactly what to do.
00:09:46 Okie dokie. Sounds good. Well I'll throw something on and head right over.
00:09:50 Sounds good. See you soon.
00:09:52 See ya.
00:09:54 What now?
00:10:05 (phone buzzing)
00:10:15 Of course these idiots are here at 8 in the morning.
00:10:27 (cheering)
00:10:35 Hell yeah brother.
00:10:37 Hell yeah brother.
00:10:39 Hey man.
00:10:45 Yeah.
00:10:47 Okay.
00:10:49 Hey man.
00:10:51 Hey.
00:10:52 Hey.
00:10:53 You can let go.
00:10:54 You can let go now.
00:10:56 My bad bro. My bad.
00:10:59 Now I'm flashback. Now I'm flashback.
00:11:02 You can kill me now.
00:11:03 Hey. What's going on?
00:11:05 Hey Mary Ann.
00:11:07 Oh my god. I can't wait to decorate for this party. It's going to be so much fun.
00:11:12 Yay. I know. I'm so excited for it. I'm Liz.
00:11:16 Gag me. Ugh.
00:11:19 Yeah I'm excited for the party babe. I know you're going to be great.
00:11:22 Yeah. Nicholas is my boy and he don't lie like that fucker Seth.
00:11:26 He fucking sucks.
00:11:28 Ooh. Hold on. Hold on.
00:11:46 Now I'm flashback. Now I'm flashback.
00:11:49 I'm just kidding y'all. I would never.
00:11:53 So who else is coming to this party? Because Andy's coming over and we have plans.
00:12:00 Oh my dear sis. Mom and dad are gone so this party is going to be going all night.
00:12:08 Woo! Yeah girls! Go wolves!
00:12:16 I'll tell you what. We'll just stay in my room. Try to keep it down please.
00:12:22 Hey. Me again. Liz. You should like totally hang out with us and party.
00:12:30 We can do our makeup. Get ready together. Liz.
00:12:33 I got like pink streamers and pink balloons and we got all kinds of lights.
00:12:38 And we also got those little attachable earrings that are glow sticks and glow jewelry.
00:12:41 It'll look so cute.
00:12:43 I would rather travel the depths of hell than just spend an hour with a bunch of community college preps.
00:12:49 You know. I think that's a maybe.
00:12:56 Yeah. Yeah. Maybe.
00:12:58 Yeah. Yeah. That's what I was going to say. Maybe. Maybe.
00:13:03 Hell yeah brother.
00:13:05 Hell yeah. Brother.
00:13:08 Woo! I hate parties. How am I supposed to do this with a party going on tonight?
00:13:18 Stupid parties.
00:13:21 I hate Liz.
00:13:25 Do I want to go to the party?
00:13:28 No.
00:13:30 Maybe.
00:13:32 I don't know.
00:13:35 I don't know.
00:13:38 Hell.
00:13:41 Elevate to love.
00:13:47 Elevate to love.
00:13:51 Call.
00:14:04 Elevate to love.
00:14:07 Elevate to love.
00:14:10 Elevate to love.
00:14:14 Go away.
00:14:24 Leave me alone.
00:14:32 What the hell?
00:14:35 What?
00:14:40 Hello?
00:14:42 I'm Jack the Ripper, bitch!
00:14:45 You bitch.
00:14:47 Shut up.
00:14:49 You got me.
00:14:57 Well, I guess since you're dead now I can have your mystery package when it arrives, huh?
00:15:02 I mean, technically you can take it, but you won't have it for long.
00:15:07 Oh yeah? Why's that?
00:15:09 Well, you popped up on the cameras outside, your fingerprints are all over the knife, and you have a motive.
00:15:15 My motive? What would that be?
00:15:18 Well, isn't it obvious? You're obsessed with me.
00:15:23 Oh, Em, you got me. I'm totally obsessed.
00:15:27 So, did your package arrive yet?
00:15:31 You just asked me that on the phone earlier.
00:15:34 It's been hours.
00:15:36 Holy shit, how did I sleep that long?
00:15:39 You must be really tired, Em.
00:15:41 Yeah, I guess so.
00:15:44 So, same question still remains. Did it show up?
00:15:48 Not yet, but it'll be here soon. I paid for confirmed delivery on this date.
00:15:54 It's literally the last day of the year. You really waited until the last minute, right?
00:16:00 It was the quickest shipping I could get.
00:16:02 So, be real with me. All I know is that you ordered some rare item off the internet or something.
00:16:10 You're not gonna believe this.
00:16:17 For sale, rare items from the infamous murder house in Amityville.
00:16:21 Once the site of numerous murders, hauntings, and other unexplained phenomena before being demolished,
00:16:26 Randall Auctions now gives you the chance to own a piece of the property.
00:16:29 Why are you interested in something from Amityville?
00:16:32 Well, normally I wouldn't be interested in any of that Amityville nonsense, but you know my friend Tony?
00:16:38 Yeah, the collector dude?
00:16:40 Yeah, well, he went to this auction to get some old grandfather clock or something,
00:16:45 but when he got there, some architect had already snagged it.
00:16:48 And?
00:16:52 Well, he started looking around and he found this really weird box with a knife in it.
00:16:57 Guess what's special about the knife?
00:16:59 I don't know, Em, is it haunted or something?
00:17:02 It belonged to Jack the Ripper.
00:17:06 The Jack the Ripper? Like, Jack the object of your obsession Ripper?
00:17:11 Yes, Annie, my dear, THE Jack the Ripper. The original serial killer.
00:17:16 Wow, that's awesome. So that must be like a super rare artifact, huh?
00:17:21 I wonder why it was at the auction at Amityville.
00:17:24 Honestly, no clue. Something about the old owner was a collector of odd items, and, you know, that was before me.
00:17:33 What, he died?
00:17:35 Yep. Killed himself. Blamed it on the house.
00:17:38 The city just demolished the house and sold off all the items. Family didn't want anything.
00:17:45 Wait, so how does Tony know that this is the actual knife that Jack the Ripper used?
00:17:50 Well, Tony used to be about the Ripper lifestyle, like myself, before he moved to Tinseltown to make movies.
00:17:55 So he knew details that the auction house didn't. They had no idea what they had.
00:18:01 So how does this play into our plans for tonight?
00:18:06 No way! Mary Ann!
00:18:08 Yep, we are going to communicate with Jack the Ripper.
00:18:13 Holy shit!
00:18:15 Oh my god.
00:18:17 It's gonna be insane.
00:18:18 Now I understand why you were so worried about your brother's party. How are we gonna pull this off?
00:18:22 We're just gonna have to do it in here and lock the door so nobody can disturb us.
00:18:26 You know we only have one chance if this is real.
00:18:30 I know. I've read the books. The Sand says it starts directly at the fall of nightly at the point of darkness on the night before...
00:18:38 No, damn it. I still have fucked it up.
00:18:40 The Sand says it starts directly at the moment of full darkness at the night before new...
00:18:44 What the fuck is happening?
00:18:46 The Sand says it starts directly at the moment of full darkness the night before a new lunar year with an original touched item from the individual.
00:18:54 Okay, okay, I'm in. But you know we can't tell your brother or his friends anything about this, right?
00:19:00 Oh, not at all. They'd interfere and ruin everything.
00:19:03 We'll just go to the party and act like nothing's going on. That's an outright suspicion.
00:19:09 Exactly! We act excited, but we're really not.
00:19:13 Oh, of course not. I hate parties. And I hate people. Especially those people.
00:19:18 Maybe we should get dressed up. You know, blend in a little bit.
00:19:23 That makes sense. We should definitely do that.
00:19:26 I'll hate it, though.
00:19:28 Yeah, me too.
00:19:30 [Music]
00:19:33 [Music]
00:19:36 [Music]
00:19:38 [Music]
00:19:51 [Music]
00:19:53 [Music]
00:20:19 [Music]
00:20:21 [Music]
00:20:35 [Music]
00:20:37 [Music]
00:20:47 [Music]
00:20:57 [Music]
00:20:59 Oh, yeah. We are totally going to throw a party.
00:21:19 I thought we weren't going to the party.
00:21:22 Well, I mean, we can't let our look go to waste. We look fucking amazing.
00:21:29 Okay, but we do the seance first. Deal?
00:21:33 What exactly are you hoping to achieve with this seance?
00:21:37 Like, do you really think we're going to communicate with Jack the Ripper?
00:21:41 Uh, yeah.
00:21:43 Okay. You know I love you, and you're my best friend, and I'll do anything for you, but I just don't--
00:21:48 [Doorbell rings]
00:21:50 Do you think that's it?
00:21:52 I have no clue. Let's go look.
00:21:55 Man, I cannot believe that there's not a DJ that specializes in Sugar Ray.
00:22:14 [Music]
00:22:17 [Music]
00:22:19 Ugh, it's like an eight-year-old's birthday party in here.
00:22:29 You're so funny, Mary Ann.
00:22:32 This is horrendous. I hate all of it.
00:22:36 It's like confetti exploded in here.
00:22:39 Oh, hey, ladies.
00:22:44 Check it out, Nichols. The balloon's my car.
00:22:47 Oh, nice. It was the mailman.
00:22:51 [Door creaks]
00:22:53 We need to get this out of this box.
00:23:12 Didn't that paper say not to do that?
00:23:16 I mean, you don't actually believe that letter, though, do you?
00:23:20 After all the books that we've read and everything that's led us to this point, you wouldn't believe that piece of paper?
00:23:25 Annie, cut it out. It's a movie. This is what we're supposed to be doing.
00:23:29 This is what you want us to do, right?
00:23:33 Okay, count me in. Let's find a way to open this case.
00:23:39 I think I have a hammer in here somewhere.
00:23:41 I'm gonna destroy those.
00:23:43 I think I have a hammer in here somewhere.
00:23:46 I'm gonna destroy those already open.
00:23:48 Um, Ann?
00:23:50 This box feels kind of weird.
00:23:53 What do you mean weird?
00:23:55 Like, cold static?
00:23:57 Like, cold static?
00:23:59 I don't know how else to explain it. It's just how it feels.
00:24:02 You know, the friend who found this for me says that he feels like every item that comes out of the Amityville house is imbued with the power of that place.
00:24:12 Really?
00:24:14 Really.
00:24:16 I'm sorry, wait. I can't. Sorry. It's just too funny.
00:24:20 Come on, Mary Ann. Be serious. Did he really say that?
00:24:23 Yeah, he really did. But I mean, come on. You can't believe that.
00:24:27 Of course I do. Everything that happened in the Amityville house was true.
00:24:31 And can you just imagine if this knife of Jack the Ripper's became imbued with the power of the Amityville house?
00:24:38 It'd be like we had some sort of Amityville Ripper on our hands.
00:24:43 True. But I think that's kind of the point. I'm pretty sure that the name of this movie is Amityville Ripper.
00:24:50 Really?
00:24:52 I think so.
00:24:53 Kind of a shitty name.
00:24:55 Is this movie called Amityville Ripper? Anyone?
00:25:02 Oh, thank you. Yeah, see? Amityville Ripper. At least it's marketable, I guess.
00:25:08 Okay, well, let's try to find a way to open this thing.
00:25:12 Just wait. Let's get ready.
00:25:20 Actually, wait. Let's light some candles and get that board ready before we do this.
00:25:29 Good idea.
00:25:31 Montage? We just did one. Is that cool?
00:25:34 Sure, it's cool. The director loves montages, right?
00:25:38 Hell yeah. I'm in.
00:25:41 [Music]
00:25:44 [Music]
00:25:47 [Music]
00:25:49 [Music]
00:25:55 [Music]
00:26:01 [Music]
00:26:07 [Music]
00:26:14 [Music]
00:26:16 [Music]
00:26:22 [Music]
00:26:28 [Music]
00:26:34 [Music]
00:26:41 [Music]
00:26:43 [Music]
00:26:49 [Music]
00:26:55 Alright, that's the last one.
00:27:03 Sweet! Let's get this thing started.
00:27:08 [Car horn]
00:27:10 I guess the party's about to start.
00:27:14 Yeah. Do you want to go check it out?
00:27:17 We should go scope it out, make an appearance at least, and then afterwards we can come back up here and have our own little party with Mr. Jack the Ripper.
00:27:26 Hell yeah. Let's go.
00:27:28 Okay.
00:27:29 [Music]
00:27:33 [Music]
00:27:35 [Evil Laugh]
00:27:46 [Music]
00:27:50 [Music]
00:27:56 [Music]
00:27:58 [Music]
00:28:04 [Music]
00:28:10 [Music]
00:28:16 [Music]
00:28:22 [Music]
00:28:24 Wow, there are a lot more people here than I expected.
00:28:36 Yeah, this is actually a really big party.
00:28:39 Where's Nichols?
00:28:42 There she is! Here you go, girlie.
00:28:46 Thank you, Liz. They're yours.
00:28:50 I can't drink beer. Are you kidding me? I'm the head cheerleader. I have to stay fit. I can't put that weight into my body. It's a temple, you know. They say that.
00:29:02 Who says that?
00:29:04 You're so funny.
00:29:06 Thank you for the beer.
00:29:11 Well, it wasn't my idea. The director wrote it into the script. But you're welcome.
00:29:19 [Cheering]
00:29:21 Yeah!
00:29:26 Hell yeah, bro. How the hell did you do that shit, man?
00:29:30 I don't know.
00:29:32 That was fucking awesome.
00:29:34 It was like I was seeing an angel, dog. You were that angel.
00:29:38 Chugging that vodka right there.
00:29:46 When I saw you doing that, man, it touched me. My heart. And my balls. Made them tingle. It felt good. Now I'm a little confused.
00:29:59 Okay.
00:30:01 What the fuck was that?
00:30:04 You wouldn't understand, sis.
00:30:06 Okay, well, Annie and I are gonna be in my room for a bit. Make sure no one comes in there, okay?
00:30:12 Um, is this good stuff?
00:30:16 Oh my god, Nichols. You're making me blush.
00:30:20 Cut that shit out. No, we're not doing gay stuff. What the fuck? I'm your sister.
00:30:25 Wow.
00:30:27 Wait, I thought you were like my stepsister this whole time.
00:30:31 I thought I was like your sister-sister.
00:30:33 This whole time I thought you were like my stepsister.
00:30:36 Wait a minute. Are y'all saying sister like, like a lot of people say sister? Like, what's up, sister? How you doing, sister?
00:30:44 I thought they were talking about that show with the twins, Tia and Tamara.
00:30:47 That's a good show.
00:30:49 Bobby, am I his sister-sister or his stepsister?
00:30:53 Uh, I really didn't think about it. Um, I guess you're his stepsister.
00:30:58 Fine. Still weird, but you're the director. No, we're not doing gay shit. We're doing schoolwork.
00:31:06 Yeah. Schoolwork.
00:31:13 Hey. Hey!
00:31:17 What?
00:31:18 Can't keep doing that.
00:31:19 Doing what?
00:31:20 Pulling me away every time I try to talk to him.
00:31:23 To Nichols?
00:31:24 Yes, to Nichols. I kinda dig that dude, and I think he digs me.
00:31:30 Plus, the script says you're supposed to eventually be okay with me liking him anyway, so...
00:31:35 Yeah, but that doesn't happen for like 11 more pages.
00:31:39 Couldn't we just do it now and save us both the headache?
00:31:42 Can we do it now?
00:31:45 Yeah, nothing's stopped you so far. Do whatever you want, I guess.
00:31:49 Is it okay?
00:31:51 Yeah, it's okay.
00:31:53 Can we get to the seance?
00:31:58 Oh my fucking god!
00:32:05 I'm so sorry. It was an accident.
00:32:07 I don't even know why Liz is so nice to you. You're both just a couple of freaks.
00:32:12 She's not worth it. She dies in a few pages anyway.
00:32:17 Guess I need to go shower, since I'm all soaked.
00:32:22 Don't get too excited. There's no nudity.
00:32:27 (music)
00:32:31 What's wrong, daddy?
00:32:39 Goddammit!
00:32:43 Damn, dude! You scared the shit out of me!
00:32:46 My pecker went up in me!
00:32:48 I scared your wiener up in you?
00:32:51 What?
00:32:54 Yeah, it went up in me.
00:32:57 Like your own, um...
00:33:00 Uh...
00:33:03 Cock?
00:33:06 Yeah, you know like when a turtle gets scared and it goes in a shell?
00:33:09 That's my pecker right now.
00:33:12 It might not never come out.
00:33:15 It's an ene right now. It's just balls.
00:33:22 Okay. How does that even happen?
00:33:25 So, the first time it happened, I was like seven or eight maybe.
00:33:31 A little foggy memory for me. You know, it's traumatic.
00:33:35 I tried to block it out.
00:33:37 I saw this big pit bull dog running at me down the street.
00:33:42 The kids that owned it were mean to it.
00:33:45 So I knew it was coming for my ass.
00:33:48 And I felt my pecker just retract inside me.
00:33:52 It went...
00:33:54 [Mimics Bull]
00:33:57 And I had a henny just like that.
00:34:00 It didn't come out for days.
00:34:02 I was scared shitless of that dog.
00:34:05 Damn.
00:34:07 And that's how I found out Santa Claus wasn't real.
00:34:12 [Sighs]
00:34:14 Look, we're way off script here.
00:34:19 And I'm frustrated.
00:34:21 Damn it!
00:34:23 If you're frustrated, I'm frustrated too.
00:34:26 You want to sit on my lap?
00:34:29 Is that in the script?
00:34:31 Um, no, I don't see it in the script anywhere.
00:34:34 Ryan might be improvising.
00:34:36 Um, just do it.
00:34:38 I don't understand how this fits in this story, but okay.
00:34:42 [Grunts]
00:34:48 Yeah.
00:34:50 We gotta get in there.
00:34:52 In where?
00:34:55 My step-sister's room.
00:34:58 Why?
00:34:59 Because I know they're doing gay stuff in there, man.
00:35:01 Like they're naked.
00:35:03 We want to see that stuff.
00:35:05 Yeah, dude, you're probably right.
00:35:07 I'm gaydar, and it's never off.
00:35:09 Yeah.
00:35:11 And they could be bi.
00:35:13 Hell yeah, bro.
00:35:15 And we want to see that.
00:35:17 What we can do is we're going to circle back,
00:35:19 and where there's a window, we'll go to the window,
00:35:21 and then we'll look through the window,
00:35:23 and then we'll see the gay stuff.
00:35:25 Yeah, they're probably playing with each other's boobies.
00:35:27 Yeah.
00:35:29 All right, let's do that. Let's go.
00:35:31 Come on.
00:35:33 Nichols!
00:35:35 Hell, bro!
00:35:37 Nichols, my guy!
00:35:39 Where you at? Dude!
00:35:41 What the fuck, dude?
00:35:43 Nichols!
00:35:45 Aw, damn it.
00:35:47 Holy shit, dude!
00:35:49 Did your tally-whacker go back in there?
00:35:51 It never left.
00:35:55 Let's go see some gay stuff, buddy.
00:35:57 Let's do it.
00:35:59 How are we getting in here?
00:36:03 I don't know, man.
00:36:05 I just got here.
00:36:07 Fuck it, let's go out the front door.
00:36:09 Do you have the locks on?
00:36:13 No, man, they're unlocked.
00:36:15 Okay.
00:36:17 Put your back into it.
00:36:19 Come on!
00:36:23 [grunts]
00:36:25 Is that all you got?
00:36:27 The lock's on.
00:36:29 [grunts]
00:36:31 Okay.
00:36:35 Oh, shit.
00:36:37 [chimes]
00:36:39 It's time.
00:36:41 Are you ready?
00:36:43 I think so.
00:36:45 There's been so much build-up to this,
00:36:47 and now it's time.
00:36:49 What if it doesn't work?
00:36:51 Holy shit.
00:36:53 But what if it does work?
00:36:55 [laughs]
00:36:57 [chimes]
00:36:59 Why are you in this thing, anyway?
00:37:05 Uh, first I was supposed to be in, like,
00:37:07 a motorized cart or something,
00:37:09 but the director couldn't find one,
00:37:11 so here I am in this janky-ass wheelchair.
00:37:13 Okay, but why even be in a motorized cart
00:37:15 to begin with?
00:37:17 Oh, yeah, I forgot that part.
00:37:19 I'm supposed to have a broke leg or something,
00:37:21 remember? We're football players.
00:37:23 That makes no sense.
00:37:25 None of this shit makes sense, man.
00:37:27 Like, how can we see them?
00:37:29 Oh, shit. You can see them, too?
00:37:31 Thank God. I thought I was trippin', homie.
00:37:33 We can all see them.
00:37:35 So what the hell is this, dude?
00:37:37 I thought I was just acting in a movie.
00:37:39 Brother, it's an anime you'll see.
00:37:41 It's just different.
00:37:43 So what do we do?
00:37:45 No one really knows, man.
00:37:47 You just make your way through it,
00:37:49 see what happens,
00:37:51 try to remember the script.
00:37:53 It's fuckin' weird, dude.
00:37:55 I'm just happy to be working.
00:37:57 All right, let's do this.
00:38:01 Let's do it.
00:38:03 What do you see, man?
00:38:13 Are they...
00:38:15 scissoring?
00:38:17 I can't really see.
00:38:19 I bet you anything
00:38:21 they're scissoring.
00:38:23 Oh, shit! I think she's gonna sacrifice
00:38:37 and kill that goth girl or something.
00:38:39 What do you think we should do, bro?
00:38:41 I have to save her.
00:38:43 Come on.
00:38:45 That goth girl is totally
00:38:47 gonna give me a BJ after this.
00:38:49 No way, dude. There's no way she won't.
00:38:51 You're totally right.
00:38:53 [speaking in a foreign language]
00:38:55 I must have done something wrong.
00:39:13 I don't understand.
00:39:17 Uh...
00:39:19 M?
00:39:21 What's happening?
00:39:27 Do it!
00:39:29 Short-lived.
00:39:41 What happened?
00:39:43 Hey, where have you guys been?
00:39:45 My sister was trying to sacrifice Amy to the devil
00:39:47 and we had to stop it. Get Chapman.
00:39:49 I thought this movie was supposed to be
00:39:53 about Jack the Ripper and Amy, though.
00:39:55 I don't even know anymore, dude.
00:39:57 I think we're supposed to go, too?
00:39:59 Come on!
00:40:01 Well,
00:40:07 I guess we can try again
00:40:09 next year.
00:40:11 I just don't understand.
00:40:13 What the book said?
00:40:15 You bought that book from the Scholastic Book Fair
00:40:17 when we were kids.
00:40:19 I guess you're right.
00:40:21 So, is that the end of the movie, then?
00:40:23 Please!
00:40:25 Don't kill the objectively hot
00:40:27 goth girl. Yeah, what he said.
00:40:29 She's way too hot to die.
00:40:31 What the fuck? Get out.
00:40:33 You can't kill her.
00:40:35 And I won't allow it.
00:40:37 And I'm not gonna fight you on it.
00:40:39 No, bro. Don't do it.
00:40:41 So kill me instead.
00:40:43 Yeah, nobody's trying to kill me.
00:40:45 What's up with that hammer, then,
00:40:47 and that weird knife in the box?
00:40:49 Yeah, and what about that
00:40:51 Ouija board? I'm sure he was just gonna say that,
00:40:53 but, you know, I wanted to interject, too.
00:40:55 Yeah, what's up with all that?
00:40:57 And why aren't y'all doing all gay stuff
00:40:59 and finger-banging and scissoring
00:41:01 and all that?
00:41:03 Yeah, why aren't y'all...
00:41:05 Listen out.
00:41:09 Okay, look.
00:41:11 That knife was from Jack the Ripper.
00:41:13 We were trying to hold his hands
00:41:15 to communicate with him.
00:41:17 Unfortunately,
00:41:19 it didn't work and just created a big
00:41:21 mess.
00:41:23 I think that's a goddamn lie.
00:41:27 That's right. That's right.
00:41:31 What he said.
00:41:33 I got a weird feeling
00:41:35 that they ain't even gay, bro.
00:41:37 Well,
00:41:39 I can help you clean up the mess if you want.
00:41:41 I don't mind.
00:41:43 I don't want your help.
00:41:45 I don't even want you here.
00:41:47 What, are you a moron?
00:41:49 I'm not a moron, actually.
00:41:51 I'm just trying to be nice.
00:41:53 If you don't want my help, then fine,
00:41:55 but I'm just trying to be your friend.
00:41:57 Okay, I'm sorry.
00:42:03 I might have
00:42:05 been a little...
00:42:07 (rock music)
00:42:09 (rock music)
00:42:11 (rock music)
00:42:13 (rock music)
00:42:15 (heavy metal music)
00:42:18 (heavy metal music)
00:42:21 (heavy metal music)
00:42:50 - Well, I guess I'm back.
00:42:53 (high pitched screeching)
00:42:58 (man screaming)
00:43:03 (man laughing)
00:43:06 (explosion)
00:43:11 (heavy metal music)
00:43:21 - Everybody, you have to get out now!
00:43:23 (record scratching)
00:43:24 You have to leave, you're in danger!
00:43:27 She's telling the truth, you're all gonna die tonight.
00:43:30 We accidentally brought back the ghost of Jack the Ripper
00:43:32 and he's imbued with the power of the Amityville house.
00:43:35 (group laughing)
00:43:39 (heavy metal music)
00:43:44 - Dammit, all these people are extras.
00:43:49 They haven't even read the script.
00:43:50 They have no idea.
00:43:51 (doorbell ringing)
00:43:54 - Ding, light bulb.
00:43:55 Okay, everybody split up
00:43:57 and convince as many people as possible.
00:43:59 - Split up?
00:44:02 In a horror movie?
00:44:04 - I think I lived, so let's do it.
00:44:08 - But do I live?
00:44:12 I didn't read the script.
00:44:19 No, seriously, do I live?
00:44:21 - Okay, let's meet back here and say "P."
00:44:26 - Shit.
00:44:36 - Freaking idiots.
00:44:48 Spilling beer on, well, let's be quite honest,
00:44:51 the hottest person here.
00:44:52 Even sticky from the beer.
00:44:57 I'm still freaking hot.
00:44:59 (eerie music)
00:45:01 (eerie music)
00:45:04 (eerie music)
00:45:06 (eerie music)
00:45:09 (eerie music)
00:45:11 (eerie music)
00:45:27 (water running)
00:45:38 (water running)
00:45:41 (water running)
00:45:44 (water running)
00:45:46 (water running)
00:45:54 (water running)
00:46:00 (water running)
00:46:11 (water running)
00:46:14 - Open the door.
00:46:30 (woman screaming)
00:46:40 (woman screaming)
00:46:43 (upbeat music)
00:46:50 (woman screaming)
00:46:57 - My God.
00:46:58 (water running)
00:47:03 - Jack is back, baby.
00:47:17 Woo hoo.
00:47:18 - Dude, you have to get out.
00:47:21 - Yes, get out.
00:47:22 - There's a knife and a ripper and--
00:47:24 - You're gonna die.
00:47:25 - Of course, you come back.
00:47:27 - Yeah, can I get a large pepperoni delivered?
00:47:31 - Hey, you guys have to get out of here.
00:47:33 There's some guy on the loose.
00:47:35 Come on, get off the phone.
00:47:38 I'm being serious.
00:47:40 - No.
00:47:42 This is not time for pizza.
00:47:46 - I thought it was always time for pizza.
00:47:48 Am I right?
00:47:49 - I could take a break for pizza.
00:47:51 - I mean, extra cheese, mushrooms, pepperoni, pineapple.
00:47:54 - Nah, you gotta get some olives on there, man.
00:47:57 Extra black olives.
00:47:58 - Of course we're gonna get black olives.
00:48:00 - A little balsamic glaze.
00:48:02 - Get out now.
00:48:06 Go, go.
00:48:08 - Anyway, we gotta get out of here.
00:48:10 - Hell yeah.
00:48:11 - Have you guys had any luck?
00:48:17 - Not much, no one believes us.
00:48:19 - Because all of these "Annie Rebell" sequels
00:48:22 have gotten so outlandish.
00:48:23 (record scratch)
00:48:24 - Well, what are we gonna do?
00:48:29 - Wait, I have an idea.
00:48:31 Let's use the script.
00:48:35 - The script?
00:48:40 - Yeah, I mean, none of us know the script very well
00:48:42 because, well, the director decided to give it to us
00:48:44 at the last minute, so let's just see
00:48:46 what we're supposed to be doing.
00:48:48 - You know, that's not a bad idea.
00:48:49 Can you tell me if I die while you got that thing?
00:48:52 - Uh, sure.
00:48:54 Um, nope.
00:49:00 Uh, looks like you're good, you make it.
00:49:02 - Hell yeah, man.
00:49:05 I knew Bobby'd never kill a guy in a wheelchair.
00:49:07 - So what's it say?
00:49:09 What are we supposed to be doing?
00:49:10 - Uh, here we are, party scene.
00:49:15 Oh, shit.
00:49:17 - Huh?
00:49:18 - That cheerleader girl died in the bathroom last scene.
00:49:21 - Catherine?
00:49:23 - See, if you guys would have been
00:49:27 listening out like we thought you were,
00:49:29 none of this would be happening.
00:49:31 But no, you guys gotta be spooky
00:49:34 'cause you listen to Baja or whatever.
00:49:36 - Uh, yeah, Catherine.
00:49:41 From the looks of her lines,
00:49:43 she's pretty full of herself, too.
00:49:45 - Yeah, it's true.
00:49:47 She's hot, or was hot.
00:49:50 - Was hot.
00:49:51 - You gotta be kidding me.
00:49:56 Come on, let's go to the bathroom and see if this is true.
00:49:59 Hello?
00:50:14 Is someone in the shower?
00:50:16 Catherine?
00:50:19 - Yeah, it's Liz, are you okay?
00:50:21 - Oh, shit.
00:50:26 Oh my God.
00:50:27 The guards are up.
00:50:29 Holy shit.
00:50:32 - Are you naked?
00:50:39 What?
00:50:42 I just wanna know if she's got big old mommy milkers.
00:50:44 You guys know I like big titty breasts.
00:50:48 - Oh, question.
00:50:50 - I like mommy milkers.
00:50:52 - Oh, hello.
00:51:11 - Whoa, dude.
00:51:14 That costume is fucking tight.
00:51:16 I love Dracula, dude.
00:51:18 - Dracula night.
00:51:21 - Yeah, is that not a Dracula costume?
00:51:25 - Of course it is not.
00:51:27 I am Jack the Ripper.
00:51:29 - Nah, dude.
00:51:31 That's a Dracula costume from Amazon.
00:51:34 - Bobby.
00:51:36 - Yeah.
00:51:37 - Is this a Dracula costume from Amazon?
00:51:40 - Yeah, but it's basically the same thing, man.
00:51:42 It's fine.
00:51:44 - Bobby, I thought we were going for screen accuracy.
00:51:47 - Dude, I did what I could with what we had.
00:51:50 You know SRS movies are low budget.
00:51:52 - What I need to do is go get my pickup truck.
00:51:55 I need to go back to the house 'cause I'm tired.
00:51:57 But for this one time, last time,
00:52:00 I'm gonna do this amateurish jump for you.
00:52:02 - Fine, just finish the scene, please.
00:52:05 - All right.
00:52:06 Did you order a pizza?
00:52:10 I guess it does look pretty good.
00:52:13 (screams)
00:52:15 - Bullets!
00:52:16 It's hot.
00:52:18 - You gotta let that shit cool
00:52:19 before you dig in, little brony.
00:52:21 One moment, mate.
00:52:23 I think I got something for you
00:52:25 right around the corner.
00:52:26 - This movie sucks.
00:52:30 I can have a piece of this after we're done, right?
00:52:34 - Excuse me, good sir.
00:52:40 Could you come over here, please?
00:52:43 - We can make it snappy, little bro,
00:52:45 but I gotta re-watch Dawson Creek season three finale
00:52:49 and you know, come on.
00:52:52 - Dude, you're wild.
00:52:58 You can't cut pizza with a chainsaw, man.
00:53:01 - Chainsaw?
00:53:03 - I like it.
00:53:05 - Yeah, it's a chainsaw
00:53:07 and you can't cut pizza with a chainsaw.
00:53:11 - Listen here, old chap.
00:53:12 This chainsaw ain't for the pizza.
00:53:15 It's for you.
00:53:16 - Hey, dude, if you're hunting the money,
00:53:18 no sweat, mate.
00:53:19 I'll just be going home, mate.
00:53:21 You know what?
00:53:23 I'll be over.
00:53:24 (chainsaw buzzing)
00:53:27 (laughing)
00:53:33 (laughing)
00:53:37 (thudding)
00:53:39 - Well, I guess our pizza was half off.
00:53:45 (crickets chirping)
00:53:48 - Guys, we like totally have to call the police.
00:53:57 - I agree, but it's not like we can just call them
00:54:00 and tell them that we brought back Jack the Ripper
00:54:02 with the power of the Amityville house.
00:54:05 (laughing)
00:54:07 - We can't tell them that.
00:54:09 It's absolutely ridiculous.
00:54:11 - Okay, I got it.
00:54:15 Someone give me a phone.
00:54:17 (phone beeping)
00:54:21 (phone ringing)
00:54:22 - You've reached 911.
00:54:23 If you're emergency relates to ongoing reports of UFOs,
00:54:26 please press one, otherwise stay on the line.
00:54:28 - UFOs?
00:54:29 - 911, what's your emergency?
00:54:31 (clearing throat)
00:54:33 - You know, I got these kids and they're partying
00:54:37 and I want you to send someone over to get them out.
00:54:42 - Okay, sir, I'll send an officer right away, okay?
00:54:47 - Yeah, thank you.
00:54:49 Thank you so much.
00:54:50 God bless.
00:54:51 - Yes, sir, thank you.
00:54:53 Next time use anonymous.
00:54:54 (phone beeping)
00:54:55 - Oh yeah, I fuckin' killed that shit.
00:54:57 (sighing)
00:54:58 - Hell yeah, dog.
00:54:59 That was fuckin' so smart, man.
00:55:02 You're the best.
00:55:03 You know, I love you.
00:55:04 You know, you're so beautiful.
00:55:06 Sorry, sorry, sorry.
00:55:08 - What does the script say?
00:55:11 (phone beeping)
00:55:14 Let's see.
00:55:19 I say, "I think we should just stay in here
00:55:21 "and lock the door until the police arrive."
00:55:23 Then Nichols says, "I think that's a good idea.
00:55:25 "Let's stay put."
00:55:26 - That sounds nothing like something that I would say.
00:55:31 - I actually do not think that we should do that.
00:55:34 - Yeah, man, fuck that idea.
00:55:37 Shit is dumb.
00:55:39 This fuckin' script sucks.
00:55:41 It has zero character development.
00:55:45 Just skip ahead and see what happens.
00:55:48 - Can we do that?
00:55:49 - No, you can't do that.
00:55:51 You guys are fuckin' up this movie.
00:55:55 We're on page 62 and none of you are dead yet.
00:55:58 - I thought I didn't die.
00:56:00 - Of course you die.
00:56:01 You're in a wheelchair, you're gonna die.
00:56:03 - Fuck.
00:56:04 - First of all, this idea sucks,
00:56:08 this script sucks,
00:56:09 and you, Mr. Director,
00:56:11 are the reason why this movie sucks in the first place.
00:56:14 - If you guys would stop going off script,
00:56:16 we'd be fine.
00:56:17 - You know I didn't fuckin' even read the goddamn script.
00:56:22 - Let's just finish this shit.
00:56:24 I'm taking this script.
00:56:25 Figure it out.
00:56:29 Action.
00:56:30 - I think we should just stay in here
00:56:33 and lock the door until the police arrive.
00:56:35 - I think that's a good idea.
00:56:37 Let's stay put.
00:56:38 (police radio chatter)
00:56:44 (doorbell rings)
00:56:46 (upbeat music)
00:56:57 (police radio chatter)
00:56:59 (upbeat music)
00:57:06 (doorbell rings)
00:57:09 - That must be the police.
00:57:14 - Okay, we have to get out there before they leave.
00:57:16 Come on, everybody.
00:57:17 - We have to be careful, though.
00:57:18 Jack the Ripper is still out there.
00:57:20 - Yeah.
00:57:21 (upbeat music)
00:57:24 (door slams)
00:57:25 (police radio chatter)
00:57:32 - Dispatch, I'm not at that college party.
00:57:41 Something's going on.
00:57:43 It's weird.
00:57:44 I'm gonna need some backup out here.
00:57:45 - We don't have the people at the moment.
00:57:48 You know that.
00:57:49 - You know that.
00:57:50 - I can feel it in my gut.
00:57:55 Something is seriously wrong out here.
00:57:57 - Dammit, Reed.
00:57:59 Everyone is all over the town
00:58:00 investigating these UFO calls.
00:58:02 We don't have anybody.
00:58:03 - I'm telling you, you guys are gonna be very sorry
00:58:07 when you don't come out here
00:58:08 and help me save the one brain cell
00:58:09 that Amoeba's at this party.
00:58:11 Something is bad wrong, guys.
00:58:13 Guess I gotta do it myself.
00:58:15 Reed, out.
00:58:18 (crickets chirping)
00:58:20 But first, I gotta put these bad boys in the sport mode.
00:58:28 (upbeat music)
00:58:30 - Sport mode.
00:58:46 (upbeat music)
00:58:48 - Dammit, where's the call?
00:58:55 - Come on, this feels off.
00:58:58 - Yeah, let's go call them again.
00:59:00 - Wait, I thought somebody ordered pizza.
00:59:03 (door creaking)
00:59:07 - What the fuck was that?
00:59:09 - Yeah, what the hell?
00:59:11 - Open it.
00:59:13 - I don't know.
00:59:14 (door creaking)
00:59:15 (door knocking)
00:59:17 - Police, open up.
00:59:18 - Officer, the door's stuck, it won't open.
00:59:21 Someone's already dead.
00:59:23 There's a killer on the loose.
00:59:25 Please help us.
00:59:27 - Guys, get back.
00:59:28 I'm gonna try to bust it in, okay?
00:59:29 (grunting)
00:59:31 You know what?
00:59:34 Stay safe, I'm gonna go around
00:59:35 and try to get in the back.
00:59:36 - Fuck.
00:59:41 - It's okay.
00:59:43 We'll be safe, the cop will save us.
00:59:45 - I don't think that's what she was thinking about.
00:59:48 - Okay, well, if she's not worried about that,
00:59:51 then what's the problem?
00:59:52 - If I remember the script correctly,
00:59:54 it's about to get much worse.
00:59:56 - Wait, how much worse?
00:59:58 (upbeat music)
01:00:00 - Hey.
01:00:06 (door creaking)
01:00:12 (upbeat music)
01:00:13 - No one can escape.
01:00:40 They're working together.
01:00:42 - Who's working together, Marianne?
01:00:43 - The power of the amityville house is trapping them
01:00:46 while Jack the Ripper kills everyone.
01:00:47 (upbeat music)
01:00:50 (chomping)
01:01:10 (upbeat music)
01:01:11 - What the hell are we gonna do?
01:01:13 - Yeah, what do we do?
01:01:15 We have to get out of here.
01:01:16 (upbeat music)
01:01:18 - Now's the time, run!
01:01:30 (ominous music)
01:01:59 - Get out of the way, Em!
01:02:00 (laughing)
01:02:02 - No!
01:02:17 (ominous music)
01:02:19 (ominous music)
01:02:21 (ominous music)
01:02:23 (ominous music)
01:02:25 (ominous music)
01:02:27 (ominous music)
01:02:29 (ominous music)
01:02:31 (ominous music)
01:02:33 (ominous music)
01:02:34 (ominous music)
01:02:36 (ominous music)
01:02:38 (ominous music)
01:02:40 (ominous music)
01:02:42 (ominous music)
01:02:44 (ominous music)
01:02:46 (ominous music)
01:02:48 (ominous music)
01:02:50 (ominous music)
01:02:52 (ominous music)
01:02:54 (ominous music)
01:02:56 (ominous music)
01:02:58 (ominous music)
01:03:01 (gentle music)
01:03:04 (air whooshing)
01:03:06 (eerie music)
01:03:35 - You gotta get in there.
01:03:37 (sighing)
01:03:44 - Dude, push me behind something, man.
01:03:46 Hide me, I'm out here in the open.
01:03:47 - Where are we gonna put you behind?
01:03:49 - Fuck, why'd the director put me in this damn wheelchair?
01:03:52 (shushing)
01:03:53 Throw that camouflage blanket over me, man.
01:03:56 He won't see me under that.
01:03:57 - He's definitely gonna see you with that on you.
01:03:59 - What do you mean, it's camo.
01:04:00 - How is he gonna hide you?
01:04:02 - It's camo.
01:04:04 - This works every time, bro.
01:04:06 - Can you tell it's me under here, bro?
01:04:15 - No, no, we can't tell it's you.
01:04:17 (laughing)
01:04:21 - I've never been this scared in my whole life.
01:04:27 We never should have came to this house.
01:04:30 - Shut up.
01:04:32 (screaming)
01:04:34 - I've been so much worse.
01:04:42 - Shut up.
01:04:46 (whistling)
01:04:55 (eerie music)
01:04:58 (whistling)
01:05:00 (eerie music)
01:05:03 (whistling)
01:05:05 (eerie music)
01:05:07 (whistling)
01:05:10 - Come on, mate.
01:05:36 We've got a fun party here.
01:05:38 Hey, chap, let me tell you.
01:05:47 Knives have gotten a lot better since my day.
01:05:52 Jin-Soo.
01:05:54 Oh, he must have been an exceptionally talented young man.
01:05:59 (eerie music)
01:06:02 Camo, baby, gotta love it.
01:06:26 Woo!
01:06:28 (laughing)
01:06:30 (eerie music)
01:06:34 - Annie, no.
01:06:46 I can't believe she's dead.
01:06:49 What have I done?
01:06:52 I didn't mean for any of this to happen.
01:06:55 - It's okay, Mary. - Oh, shit!
01:06:57 - I'm here for you.
01:06:58 - Oh my God, Liz.
01:07:00 Can't believe you're alive.
01:07:01 Annie, she's dead.
01:07:04 - I'm sorry, I really am.
01:07:07 But we're dead too if we don't get out of here.
01:07:10 - What do we do?
01:07:12 - Well, the cop is outside, we know that.
01:07:15 We just have to get out of this house somehow.
01:07:19 - We could try the windows.
01:07:22 (eerie music)
01:07:25 - It won't budge.
01:07:34 Keep trying.
01:07:35 We're wasting time.
01:07:37 The power of Amityville is too strong.
01:07:40 Wait, I have an idea.
01:07:45 If we can just get the officer's attention somehow.
01:07:51 She has a gun.
01:07:52 She can shoot the lock off or something.
01:07:55 - We don't even know where she is.
01:07:58 - I know.
01:07:58 There's more windows in the living room.
01:08:03 If we can just make it there, I'm sure she'll see us.
01:08:06 You can do this.
01:08:15 We can make it.
01:08:19 - I just really wanna make it into the sequel.
01:08:22 And honestly, I don't remember
01:08:25 what happens to me in that script.
01:08:26 - You're final girl material, Marianne.
01:08:31 I have a feeling you're coming back for part two.
01:08:33 - Okay, let's both come back for part two.
01:08:38 - Hell yeah.
01:08:47 (eerie music)
01:08:50 Oh man, let me see.
01:08:53 What the fuck can I reach from this angle?
01:08:56 I'm thirsty.
01:08:57 Get some little bit of scoop in there.
01:09:00 I wanna have a little bit in there.
01:09:02 What in the fuck is that?
01:09:05 That ain't natural.
01:09:07 Hell yeah.
01:09:11 Fucking love apple juice, man.
01:09:16 If I can get this straw in here.
01:09:17 I never was too good at these.
01:09:20 Hey, thanks, man.
01:09:43 I've always had a little struggle with those things.
01:09:46 Hey, it's good to see somebody.
01:09:49 - Oh, hey, Mike.
01:09:50 - God damn it.
01:09:51 - Hey, I gotta do some improv here,
01:09:53 but I don't have any time.
01:09:55 - Fuck.
01:09:56 Fuck, what the?
01:09:59 Bobby, what the fuck, man?
01:10:00 - Have all of these.
01:10:01 (Mike groans)
01:10:10 (Mike laughs)
01:10:13 (upbeat music)
01:10:24 (upbeat music)
01:10:27 - Oh, hey, Liz.
01:10:44 I'm really sorry for being such a bitch to you, by the way.
01:10:47 You've been nothing but nice to me.
01:10:49 - You don't have to apologize.
01:10:51 It's fine, we know that.
01:10:53 - I know, but the director said that I need to clear up
01:10:56 any disdain between us before the end of the movie, so.
01:10:59 - Disdain?
01:11:01 - Sorry, his words, not mine.
01:11:03 - I figure.
01:11:04 Let's make it out of here.
01:11:08 A lot.
01:11:10 Together.
01:11:11 - We will.
01:11:11 I know it.
01:11:12 - Hey, wasn't your friend Annie and my boyfriend, Nichols,
01:11:18 supposed to get together before the end of the movie?
01:11:21 - Good point.
01:11:22 - What happened with that?
01:11:24 - Forgot about it.
01:11:25 - Makes sense, I guess.
01:11:27 (eerie music)
01:11:31 - Ladies, ladies, come here.
01:11:46 Come here.
01:11:47 - Shoot the glass.
01:11:49 Get us out of here.
01:11:50 - I can't shoot the window out.
01:11:52 My bullets won't break glass.
01:11:54 - What good is that?
01:11:55 - I don't know, it's those stupid UFOs on the reports.
01:11:58 They're scared we're gonna shoot their glass ships down
01:12:00 and start a war of the worlds.
01:12:02 - UFOs and aliens don't exist.
01:12:05 - I mean, technically neither does Amy Neville
01:12:08 or a reincarnated Jack the Ripper, but it's a movie.
01:12:11 - Yeah, it is a movie.
01:12:14 And, well, anything can happen,
01:12:17 except me shooting that fucking window out.
01:12:20 - I'm so confused, then how do we get out of here?
01:12:23 - Meet me at the back and I can shoot the doorknob off.
01:12:27 - So you can shoot a doorknob off,
01:12:29 but you can't shot out of the glass?
01:12:31 - It's what the spirit says.
01:12:32 - Ready to wrap this shitty movie?
01:12:35 - I was ready like 78 pages ago.
01:12:38 - I was hired for SFX and catering.
01:12:41 I have no clue what the fuck is even going on anymore.
01:12:44 - Weird.
01:12:46 Just meet me at the back door and let's get out of here.
01:12:50 (phone ringing)
01:12:51 - Come on, the faster we wrap this up,
01:12:54 the faster we can call it a day.
01:12:55 - He's behind you!
01:13:10 (piano music)
01:13:12 Behind you!
01:13:16 (piano music)
01:13:20 He's behind you!
01:13:22 Fuck.
01:13:24 (gunshot)
01:13:27 He's behind you!
01:13:28 (piano music)
01:13:31 (footsteps)
01:13:33 (grunting)
01:13:43 Shit.
01:13:44 (piano music)
01:13:47 (footsteps)
01:13:49 (piano music)
01:13:57 (gunshots)
01:14:16 (piano music)
01:14:19 (eerie music)
01:14:31 (eerie music)
01:14:35 (eerie music)
01:14:37 (eerie music)
01:15:02 (eerie music)
01:15:05 - What the fuck just happened?
01:15:14 - Yeah, I definitely didn't read this part of the script.
01:15:19 - I think I'm done with Amityville movies forever.
01:15:25 - Yeah.
01:15:26 Fuck Amityville.
01:15:28 And fuck Jack the Ripper.
01:15:30 (upbeat music)
01:15:32 (upbeat music)
01:15:35 - That last earth cow seemed lighter than the others.
01:15:49 - So, maybe it's a skinny one.
01:15:51 - No, this is different.
01:15:53 Did you pick up something else?
01:15:55 - Of course not.
01:15:56 No way.
01:15:57 I've been doing this job longer than you have.
01:15:59 Why do you always question me?
01:16:01 - The numbers do not lie.
01:16:03 I ran a scan and the ship detects an additional life form.
01:16:06 - The ship is wrong then, 'cause I didn't.
01:16:09 But even if I did, we're fine.
01:16:11 I'm sure.
01:16:12 (alarm buzzing)
01:16:16 - Oh shit.
01:16:21 (laughing)
01:16:23 ♪ In London when you'd walk the street ♪
01:16:27 ♪ A melancholy man you'd meet ♪
01:16:29 ♪ Approaching you on silent feet ♪
01:16:31 ♪ Dressed head to toe in black ♪
01:16:33 ♪ He'd cut your throat from ear to ear ♪
01:16:35 ♪ And in the dark he'd disappear ♪
01:16:37 ♪ Without a trace in any place ♪
01:16:39 ♪ And all he left behind was fear ♪
01:16:41 ♪ And no one knows just who he was ♪
01:16:43 ♪ They never caught his track ♪
01:16:45 ♪ They never knew where he would be ♪
01:16:47 ♪ Or where he would attack ♪
01:16:49 ♪ All whispered in the dead of night ♪
01:16:51 ♪ His shadow dressed in black ♪
01:16:53 ♪ And no one knows just who he was ♪
01:16:55 ♪ But you can call him Jack ♪
01:16:57 ♪ He'd have his homicidal fits ♪
01:16:59 ♪ By chopping women into bits ♪
01:17:01 ♪ He'd even cut off both their arms and legs ♪
01:17:04 ♪ And ears and kidneys ♪
01:17:05 ♪ And he'd throw them in a sack ♪
01:17:07 ♪ And when the human cry would cease ♪
01:17:09 ♪ He'd send a piece to the police ♪
01:17:11 ♪ Which made it hard for Scotland Yard ♪
01:17:13 ♪ Who never got a moment's peace ♪
01:17:15 ♪ And no one knows just who he was ♪
01:17:17 ♪ They never caught his track ♪
01:17:19 ♪ They never knew where he would be ♪
01:17:21 ♪ Or where he would attack ♪
01:17:23 ♪ All whispered in the dead of night ♪
01:17:25 ♪ His shadow dressed in black ♪
01:17:27 ♪ And no one knows just who he was ♪
01:17:29 ♪ But you can call him Jack ♪
01:17:30 ♪ No matter how they searched and sought ♪
01:17:32 ♪ The Ripper, he was never caught ♪
01:17:34 ♪ So let me leave you with a thought ♪
01:17:36 ♪ Someday he will be back ♪
01:17:38 ♪ Be careful he may find you ♪
01:17:40 ♪ When fog and darkness blind you ♪
01:17:42 ♪ It even might be movie night ♪
01:17:44 ♪ When he creeps up behind you ♪
01:17:46 (evil laugh)
01:17:48 ♪ And no one knows just who he was ♪
01:17:50 ♪ They never caught his track ♪
01:17:52 ♪ He's been a little quiet ♪
01:17:54 ♪ But he's picking up the slack ♪
01:17:56 ♪ I've got a souvenir of his ♪
01:17:58 ♪ Can't wait to show you what it is ♪
01:18:00 ♪ It's very sharp, it's very long ♪
01:18:02 ♪ It makes me feel alive and strong ♪
01:18:04 ♪ And no one knows who wrote this song ♪
01:18:06 ♪ But you can call me Jack ♪
01:18:08 (guitar riff)
01:18:10 ♪ But you can call me Jack ♪
01:18:12 (guitar riff)
01:18:14 ♪ But you can call me Jack ♪
01:18:16 (guitar riff)
01:18:18 ♪ But you can call me Jack ♪
01:18:20 (guitar riff)
01:18:22 (whistling)
01:18:24 (evil laugh)

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