But wait, there's more! Welcome to MsMojo, and today we’re counting down our picks for the most savage burns from the “Drag Race” reading challenge that were left on the cutting room floor.
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00:00 "The library is about to be open."
00:02 Welcome to Ms. Mojo, and today we're counting down our picks for the most savage burns from
00:08 the Drag Race Reading Challenge that were left on the cutting room floor.
00:11 "Trinity, the tuck you on all stars is just like what's in your face. Filler."
00:16 Number 20. Completely Unknown
00:21 Lover or hater, but one thing you can always count on Derek Berry for
00:26 is her ability to read a queen for filth while maintaining a charming innocence.
00:30 "Mayhem Miller?"
00:31 "Yes?"
00:32 "I think maybe you should switch out the Miller for Coors Light."
00:35 In the premiere episode of All Stars 5, Derek didn't hold back,
00:40 especially when it came to India Farah.
00:42 "India Farah, this shade is all real. It's no wonder you work at a place called
00:48 Piranha in Las Vegas because with those teeth you're a walking billboard for them."
00:53 However, we'd argue that this unaired read might have rivaled those that made it to the broadcast.
00:59 While taking a swipe at seasoned queen Mariah Paris Balenciaga,
01:02 Derek poked fun at her limited popularity, despite the renown of each of her three names.
01:07 "Let's see, Mariah, Paris, Balenciaga. Three iconic names that are all known worldwide,
01:16 yet you remain completely unknown."
01:20 When delivered with such tact, it's the kind of read you'd also laugh at if you were the target.
01:25 #19 Fat Albert Babydoll
01:28 Making comments about a person's body is often considered inappropriate,
01:32 but when the library is open on Drag Race, almost anything is fair game.
01:36 Season 15 witnessed a bit of a contentious relationship between plus-sized queens
01:41 mistress Isabel Brooks and Malaysia Babydoll Fox.
01:44 "I think that Malaysia lacks a certain taste level.
01:46 She has a severe case of drag delusion, girl."
01:49 During the reading challenge, mistress took a jab at Malaysia,
01:52 comparing her to the animated character Fat Albert and
01:55 incorporating a hilarious pun on her middle name.
01:58 "I didn't know they made a Fat Albert Babydoll."
02:00 However, it was Malaysia who effortlessly stole the spotlight.
02:06 The Miss Congeniality winner proved she was not so congenial after all by
02:10 turning the tables on mistress and delivering an even better punchline.
02:14 "And I know they made a fat cabbage patch."
02:18 #18 Bigger in Texas
02:21 As the dancing queen of Mesquite,
02:23 Alyssa Edwards has become one of the most prominent figures on Drag Race to hail from Texas.
02:27 "My name is Alyssa Edwards, and I need, I need, I need, I need,
02:31 I need to get up in this all-star gig."
02:34 True to the popular saying that everything is bigger in Texas,
02:37 Alyssa's drag is bold and extravagant.
02:40 However, just as Alaska cleverly points out here,
02:43 it seems not everything about Alyssa aligns with the larger-than-life Texas stereotype.
02:48 "Whoever said everything's bigger in Texas has obviously never seen your s---."
02:52 What might have been a simple one-liner is quickly transformed
02:56 into a top-tier double-layered read that no one saw coming.
03:00 "But you know what they have seen? Your Bonnie."
03:03 From another queen? This easily could have been a winning joke,
03:08 but the fact that it doesn't even make the cut is a testament to Alaska's brilliance.
03:12 #17 Dancing Fool
03:15 The unaired reads from All-Stars 2 seem to have really targeted Alyssa Edwards.
03:20 Known for her exquisite choreography skills and her hilarious antics,
03:24 Alyssa is sometimes referred to as the "dancing fool."
03:28 "Alyssa Edwards, you've often been referred to as the dancing fool."
03:32 When Ginger Minj put on the reading glasses,
03:34 she playfully expressed bewilderment at the addition of the word "dancing" to Alyssa's moniker.
03:39 "I just want to know, when did the dancing part get added?"
03:44 Obviously, every Drag Race fan is well aware that when it comes to splits, kicks, and dips,
03:49 hardly anyone can do it quite like Alyssa Edwards.
03:52 But it's that cunning subversion that makes this read so clever.
03:55 #16 Manly Arms
03:59 Sometimes the best reads are those that manage to praise you while delivering a painful jab.
04:04 Few have done this as masterfully as Fifi O'Hara on All-Stars 2.
04:09 "Sweetie, if you don't have a wristband, you can't be in here for the meet and greet."
04:12 "Oh my god!"
04:14 It is widely acknowledged that Katya was one of the standouts on Season 7.
04:19 The faux-Russian queen narrowly missed the top four and was one of the first
04:23 from the season to be called back for All-Stars.
04:25 When trying to read Katya, Fifi called out her manly arms,
04:34 suggesting that her run on Season 7 may have had something to do with it.
04:38 "Very manly arms, uh, I mean, can we blame her though after carrying the weight of Season 7 on your shoulders?"
04:43 Of course, Katya returned the favor later on, but her words were not nearly as kind.
04:51 "Since you fixed your snaggle tooth, I'll just talk about your face. You're ugly."
04:56 #15 The Annihilation of Naomi Smalls
05:01 With how scathing these reads were, we're honestly shocked they didn't make it onto the broadcast.
05:06 "It is very hard to have an intelligent conversation with Derek Barry.
05:09 The only thing harder is Robbie Turner's wig lines."
05:12 Bob the Drag Queen's effortless wit rises to the surface as she unleashes a rapid-fire
05:18 series of jabs at Naomi Smalls. Bob goes for the jugular, targeting Naomi's choice of shoes
05:23 and questioning how her family approved of her appearing on TV in them.
05:28 "I find it amazing you have 11 brothers and sisters and no one loves you enough to tell
05:32 you not to wear those shoes on national TV." She then follows that up with two hilarious
05:37 jokes about Naomi's skinny frame. "She's so skinny she can look at the peephole with both eyes."
05:42 Of course, their fellow Top 3 sister Kim Chi was not left out of the fun.
05:48 Bob rounds things out with a comical impression of Kim's lisp that's a little bit suspicious.
05:53 "How would I describe your teeth? Suspicious."
05:55 #14 Immediate Improvement
06:00 She may take a dip in cool, refreshing waters, but Darian Lake has got a pretty filthy mouth.
06:05 "Ben de la Creme, you remind me of a Russian doll. Full of yourself."
06:12 The New York Queen proved that during the reading challenge on season 6,
06:17 pulling a surprise win over queens like Bianca del Rio and Ben de la Creme.
06:21 And it's easy to see why. Darian appears to check in on Laganja Estranja before flipping her
06:27 apparent concern into a scathing remark. "Laganja, you're not yourself today.
06:32 I noticed the improvement immediately." She repeats this technique with Trinity K. Bonet,
06:39 making a joke about the alleged size of her genitalia and turning it into a clever pun
06:43 on the metric units. "But it smells like a foot."
06:46 And again with Courtney Act, highlighting that her beauty seems to be confined to the inside,
06:54 ostensibly for good reason. "Her real beauty is on the inside.
06:58 I guess that's why you've let so many men inside you."
07:01 #13 Now or Never
07:04 When Blair St. Clair titled her 2018 debut single "Now or Never,"
07:08 little did she know that it would come back to haunt her on Drag Race.
07:11 Jujubee pranced through the doors of the library on All Stars 5,
07:23 armed with a cheeky smile and the knowledge of the song's title,
07:26 and effectively destroyed any hopes Blair had of clinching the crown.
07:30 "Winning the crown is like your hit song 'Now or Never' - not now, and probably never."
07:34 Granted, neither did Jujubee, but at least the two shared the win on this reading challenge.
07:40 Although it was a double victory based on the reads that aired,
07:43 we think Jujubee slightly edged out Blair with her unaired comments on Angina and India Farah.
07:49 "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Don't unpack, go back."
07:53 #12 Unfinished Business
07:57 By now, you probably know that season 6 Queen Courtney Act's drag name is a play on the phrase
08:02 "Caught in the Act." What act, exactly, you might ask? Well, that depends on who's answering.
08:07 According to fellow competitor Jocelyn Fox, there's only one thing Courtney has been caught doing.
08:13 "Caught in the Act. What were you caught in the act of? Putting your face on?
08:16 Because you always look unfinished." You know it's a sick burn when the only response Mama Rue
08:22 can muster is a chilly "Ooooh." Yet Jocelyn doesn't stop there. She also has choice words
08:28 for Ben de la Creme, whose relevance she calls into question. "Bendella Creme, or more like,
08:33 has Ben de la Creme." And throws some snappy shade at Laganja Estranja, who at that point,
08:38 is just happy to still be there. "Laganja, you're still here."
08:44 Number 11. Heavy Crown. Trying to read the first ever winner of Drag Race might be intimidating
08:50 for some, but clearly not for Trixie Mattel. When RuPaul opened the library on All Stars 3,
08:55 Trixie directed a remark at season 1 winner Bebe Zahara Benet that was so good, it's a surprise
09:01 it was left on the cutting room floor. "Heavy is the head that wears the crown, and heavier is the
09:06 body." If the camera adds 10 pounds, we can only imagine how much more the crown has to offer.
09:12 Trixie may not have won this particular challenge, but taking this comment into consideration,
09:17 as well as her other unaired reads for Aja and Thorgy Thor, she was definitely a close second.
09:22 Number 10. Chicken Filter. You know Latrice Royale is gonna read a queen whenever the
09:32 library is open. "Jiggly Caliente, B-M-W, body made wrong." So, after reading Monet X Change's
09:42 Poor Silhouette, Latrice roasted Trinity the Tuck's excessive cosmetic procedures.
09:46 The bird comparisons were hilariously spot on, without feeling excessively mean. And,
09:52 Royale's visual reference to Instagram filters accurately summed up just how dramatically
09:57 Trinity's appearance had changed between seasons, too. "Trinity the Tuck, she's had so much plastic
10:03 surgery, going through her Instagram, it looks like somebody's face-tuned a chicken."
10:08 Even Trinity herself couldn't help but laugh. In fact, she seemed to find it funnier than anyone
10:13 else. Number 9. Eye Problems. While mocking someone's disorder can often be tasteless,
10:19 good humor among friends allows for some more racy jokes. In the case of Kennedy Davenport's
10:32 Lazy Eye, Chi-Chi DeVayne took a subtler approach to mock her. DeVayne's yells even appear innocent
10:38 at first, until you realize she's toying with Kennedy. The slow-burning delivery is hysterical
10:50 and results in a priceless reaction from Trixie Mattel. Thanks to how simple Chi-Chi's insult is,
10:55 Kennedy takes an otherwise offensive insult with a grin as well. And, by giving everyone a moment
11:01 to figure it out, DeVayne's burn lands with the right amount of tact. Number 8. Under a Flickering
11:11 Light. Aja has always had a rather dramatic style and way with clothes, which has left her as an
11:23 easy target for ridicule. Ben de la Creme, on the other hand, seemed to praise her unusual looks as
11:34 something surreal. However, Ben's use of horror tropes quickly flipped this into a hefty backhanded
11:40 compliment. The images Ben de la Creme calls to mind were vivid and brutal enough to make Rube
11:45 gasp in response as well. It was also exceptionally difficult not to giggle as Ben insisted that Aja's
11:55 makeup defied physics against her. Ben de la Creme's punchline hit harder though, thanks to
12:00 how kind she sounded at first. Number 7. Rip Off. Morgan McMichael's dancing abilities
12:15 were a standout talent on Drag Race, but her looks? Not so much. Ben de la Creme took this
12:28 as an opportunity on All Stars to read Morgan as utterly forgettable. By greeting her as two
12:45 completely different drag queens, Ben simultaneously slams McMichael's appearance as sloppy and
12:51 unoriginal as well. The fact that both of the contestants mentioned flopped on their seasons
13:02 was a funny detail for knowledgeable fans too. Ben even opted to move on as a result of all her
13:10 fake confusion just to rip into Morgan more. Plus, the indirect comparisons cut McMichael's
13:16 much deeper than any straightforward burn on the episode did. Number 6. Filled With Cobwebs.
13:34 Bianca Del Rio has consistently been one of the strongest comedy queens in Drag Race history,
13:47 so Adore Delano had to push the envelope to insult her. For a rather decrepit illustration
14:00 of Bianca's age, Adore decided to imagine hooking up with her. While her read was over the top and
14:05 gross to begin with, she got uncomfortably intimate with her storytelling as well.
14:09 The explicit sexual visuals evoked in Adore's roast were enough to have everyone cackling
14:24 before the punchline too. Combining all these themes together, however, was enough to give
14:29 Bianca and audiences a hilariously disturbing mental image it would be hard to forget.
14:34 Number 5. Beyonce. Trinity K. Bonet talked a lot about playing Beyonce on season 6,
14:44 which gave Bianca Del Rio plenty of material for when the library opened.
14:54 Trinity looked excited as Bianca mentioned Destiny's Child, at first. Del Rio's classic
14:59 horror reference cleverly turned Bonet's obsession against her, however, with comedic wit and
15:04 brilliant wordplay. The sharp change of mood on Trinity's face was chuckle-inducing too.
15:19 Bianca also managed to viciously read RuPaul and Trinity's ages simultaneously by trying to explain
15:26 how outdated her joke was. While we already loved Bianca's sense of humor, her endless quips here
15:32 truly impressed us. Number 4. Colorful Swimwear. With Roxy Andrews' habit of wearing form-fitting
15:42 outfits, it was only a matter of time before she received some critiques. However, when Coco
15:48 Montrese threw on the library's glasses, she cheekily questioned Roxy's taste in fashion as
15:53 a whole. Her caricature of Andrews was so laughably on point that Roxy herself was smirking beneath
15:59 her displeased look. Heck, even Coco's rival Alyssa Edwards couldn't help herself. Just in
16:04 case her read wasn't devastating enough, Coco delivered her words like a statement of fact too.
16:10 Given the groans and shocked faces from the rest of the queens, this taunt was clearly harsher than
16:24 RuPaul expected. Number 3. Post-mortem. No matter how unprofessionally Coco Montrese acted in the
16:31 workroom, she delivered the goods when it came to lip-syncing. Jinx Monsoon,
16:39 actually commended her energy too, but this was just to point out how over-the-top Coco was.
16:44 Additionally, Jinx used this flattery to nail down just how savage her statement really was.
16:57 The compliments also misled the queens so much that they looked genuinely stunned when they
17:01 got the joke. In fact, the shrieks and gaping mouths were just as entertaining as the insult
17:07 itself. And frankly, Jinx's ability to turn Coco's dance moves against her was even more memorable
17:13 than many of her aired reads. Number 2. Ugly inside. Though Valentina was an insanely talented
17:30 contestant, she was also painted as a villain for her heartless attitude toward her fellow queens.
17:35 With this in mind, Manila Luzon found a creative way to insult Valentina's toxic personality.
17:50 Manila was so blatant in her delivery that it sounded like she was giving genuine advice at
17:55 first too. Valentina's dramatic
18:04 response, however, showed that she could at least take jokes as well as she gave them out.
18:08 The vivid imagery of eating makeup was also comically blunt for Manila. Manila roasted
18:14 Valentina on a personal level for one of the strongest character reads in the series.
18:19 Number 1. Mistake. So many library roasts have started by addressing their victim,
18:43 so it was strange when Valentina turned to Rue instead. Rather than commenting directly about
18:48 Latrice Royale, she hysterically used RuPaul to make a meta joke about selecting queens for
18:53 all-stars. While it seemed like Valentina had misremembered her contestants, Royale was visibly
19:12 pained at being compared to someone who barely appeared on the show. Latrice looked so ready
19:16 to fight that Valentina's apology seemed to be out of comedic self-defense. With a mix of old
19:21 school drag race references and subtle wordplay, Valentina caught everyone off guard with this
19:26 brutal one-liner. Which of these reads do you think should have made it on the air?
19:33 Let us know in the comments below.
19:42 Do you agree with our picks? Check out this other recent clip from Ms. Mojo.
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