Date With The Angels - S2E11: The Burglar
Transcript
00:00 [music]
00:19 You have a date with the angel.
00:22 Starring Betty White.
00:25 Bill Williams as Guth Angel.
00:28 Presented by Plymouth.
00:32 Star of the forward look.
00:35 And the Plymouth dealers of America.
00:41 The time, about five months after Vicki and Guth Angel were married.
00:46 The plot, you can't tell a book by its cover.
00:49 The characters, they threw the book at us.
00:53 [music]
01:04 We might as well go to sleep.
01:06 You know Guth and George aren't going to get back to town tonight.
01:09 Uh-huh.
01:12 Did you leave the lights on in the front room again?
01:15 Yep.
01:17 If the boys do come home, I'll wake you up, hon.
01:19 I'm a very light sleeper.
01:21 I wake up at the drop of a pin.
01:24 Okay.
01:27 Good night, sweetie.
01:28 Good night, hon.
01:30 [music]
01:43 [music]
01:53 [music]
02:03 [music]
02:13 [music]
02:23 [music]
02:33 [music]
02:43 [music]
02:53 [music]
03:03 [laughter]
03:23 Guth?
03:26 Is that you, Guth?
03:29 George, baby, yeah?
03:32 How was the trip?
03:34 Oh, fine, honey, fine, fine.
03:39 That's good.
03:44 [laughter]
03:53 Guth?
03:58 Wilma, did you say something just now?
04:01 Wilma?
04:21 Is that you, Guth?
04:23 [scream]
04:24 It's all right, lady.
04:25 I'm just going to look out of the bathroom.
04:28 [scream]
04:30 Wilma!
04:31 Wilma!
04:34 Wilma!
04:35 [laughter]
04:47 [scream]
04:49 Guth!
04:53 Thank goodness you caught him.
04:55 Let's put him down here, George.
04:56 All right.
04:57 What did you hit him with?
04:58 Hit him?
04:59 I hit him.
05:00 Found him laid out in the front lawn, colder than mackerel.
05:03 He probably tripped over the front hose.
05:06 Honey, you want to watch that.
05:08 I want to watch-- Guth, this man is a burglar.
05:11 Listen, little fella, listen.
05:13 Now, wait a minute, George.
05:15 What makes you say that?
05:17 Oh, I thought it was you, and I came out here,
05:20 and I turned the lights on, and he saw me, and I saw him.
05:23 And he said something silly about the bathroom,
05:26 and I screamed, and he ran.
05:28 Oh, Vicky, what do you mean he said something silly
05:30 about the bathroom?
05:31 Oh.
05:32 Oh, he's rolling off the couch.
05:36 I'll get something cold to put on his head.
05:38 Don't let him get away.
05:41 Guth, if that little guy's a burglar,
05:43 I'm both of the Bobsey twins.
05:45 George, you can't go by looks.
05:47 My own grandmother has a face like a three-time loser.
05:52 Besides, Vicky saw him.
05:56 Oh, I'm tired.
05:58 Come here, honey.
05:59 Hi.
06:00 Oh, you want a sandwich or something
06:02 before you go to bed, George?
06:05 Don't tell me he was driving.
06:09 Wilma, he's the burglar.
06:11 He is?
06:12 What burglar?
06:15 This ice ought to-- oh.
06:18 This ice ought to do the trick.
06:20 Are the police on their way?
06:22 We'll get to the police.
06:24 We want them to get to us.
06:26 Honey, you sure you didn't have a bad dream or something?
06:29 Wilma didn't hear a thing.
06:31 Guth, I walked into this room, and I saw him.
06:34 Now, I wouldn't make up a thing like-- he's awake.
06:40 Lester?
06:42 Lester?
06:44 He's out cold.
06:46 Yeah.
06:47 I'd better call a doctor.
06:48 Guth, he just opened one eye and looked at me.
06:51 What are we all standing here for?
06:53 This man is dangerous.
06:55 I've seen jellyfish on the beach that look more dangerous than that.
07:00 We were talking about crawlers after the boys' nap.
07:03 Remember, Vicki?
07:04 Maybe that's what put it in your mind.
07:05 You know how dreams are.
07:07 Yeah, Wilma's a light sleeper.
07:08 She should-- she would have heard you scream.
07:11 Did you scream?
07:14 What was he doing on our lawn at 3 o'clock in the morning?
07:17 Trapping gophers?
07:20 You're right.
07:21 I'll call the police and tell them to bring an ambulance.
07:24 Ambulance?
07:25 He's wide awake and listening to every word we say.
07:28 Honey, let's not get unreasonable.
07:30 Oh, oh, oh, oh.
07:34 And-- oh.
07:36 Hey, Guth, maybe there was a burglar.
07:38 Thanks.
07:39 And when Vicki screamed, this guy was going by the house.
07:42 He ran in to help, stumbled over the hose, and that's where we found him.
07:45 Could be.
07:46 Why didn't you wake me up, honey?
07:49 [laughter]
07:51 Well, if nobody else will call the police, I will.
07:54 Where-- oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, easy.
07:57 Where-- where am I?
07:59 What happened?
08:02 Suppose you tell us.
08:04 What?
08:05 Tell us what happened.
08:06 Oh, don't rightly know, folks.
08:08 It sure was nice of you to bring me in like this.
08:12 See, that must have been a real novelty.
08:14 You generally break in, don't you?
08:16 [grunt]
08:19 Let's shake the cobwebs out of the poor old head, shall we?
08:24 There we are.
08:25 Oh, thank you.
08:27 Thank you.
08:29 Thanks, Guth.
08:30 [laughter]
08:33 I beg your pardon.
08:35 [laughter]
08:36 I beg your pardon.
08:37 [laughter]
08:38 Thanks.
08:39 Now, all I know is I was walking down your very attractive little street
08:45 when suddenly I heard a lady scream for help.
08:47 That was my wife.
08:48 Oh, she sounded like a lady.
08:50 [laughter]
08:51 But actually, I ran into the direction of the disturbance,
08:56 hoping to be of some assistance.
08:58 Next thing I remember, I seemed to trip over something.
09:01 Yeah, that was the garden hose.
09:03 You ought to watch that, Vicki.
09:05 Yeah, I don't suppose it was their fault.
09:07 The next thing I remember, I wake up here with all you nice-going people.
09:11 Why were you out walking at 3 o'clock in the morning?
09:13 I go for walks when I can't sleep, Mr.
09:16 Angel, Guth Angel.
09:17 How do you do?
09:18 I'm Mrs. Clemson.
09:19 How do you do?
09:20 I'm Mr. Clemson.
09:21 Pleased to meet you.
09:22 Glad to know you.
09:23 And this is my wife, Mrs. Angel.
09:24 We've met.
09:25 Oh.
09:26 As I said, I couldn't sleep, so I went for a walk.
09:30 Oh, I know what you mean.
09:31 I sometimes twist and turn for hours.
09:34 Here, have you ever tried a glass of warm milk just before bedtime?
09:38 Well, I'm such a light sleeper that it doesn't work for me.
09:41 Occasionally it does for me, but--
09:43 Oh, for heaven's sake!
09:45 You were sound asleep, and you were-- were burgling.
09:50 That's enough.
09:51 [clears throat]
09:54 This burglar you speak of, did he take anything?
09:59 Oh.
10:00 No, not that I know of.
10:03 But you said he was inside the house.
10:06 You know darn well he was.
10:07 You was.
10:08 You were.
10:09 Well, he was.
10:10 Honey, take it easy.
10:11 No, Mrs. Angel's absolutely right.
10:13 He ought to be reported to the police.
10:15 Do you believe me, or don't you?
10:17 Honey, it's not a question of believing.
10:20 We've all had dreams where, well, they're so real, we're sure they actually happened.
10:24 Yeah, dreams can be so vivid.
10:26 Well, thank you all once again for your kindness.
10:29 And if I can be of any help, you can always reach me at the-- the Bon Ton Motor Court just down the street.
10:35 I'll drive you.
10:36 Thank you.
10:37 Watch the hose this time.
10:38 Cheerio.
10:39 [music playing]
10:43 Gus!
10:44 Honey, the least you could have done was-- was thank him.
10:47 [music playing]
10:52 [applause]
10:57 Registered letter, Mrs. Angel.
10:59 Hm.
11:00 I wonder who that's from.
11:01 I wouldn't know.
11:02 Uh, time to sleep, please.
11:04 [laughter]
11:07 Thank you.
11:08 Mm-hm.
11:09 Goodbye.
11:10 Goodbye.
11:11 [music playing]
11:29 You know, Gus, we're both insurance men, but since I happen to be head of the legal department, in my opinion, this case--
11:35 [buzzer]
11:36 [phone ringing]
11:38 Yes?
11:39 Is Mr. Angel there?
11:40 Well, yes, he is, but I need him right now.
11:42 Mr. Chase, this is Vicki.
11:44 Could I borrow him for one second?
11:46 All right, Vicki.
11:47 It's your wife.
11:48 Hello?
11:49 Gus, I just got a registered letter, and you won't believe what's in it.
11:52 Honey, I'm in Mr. Chase's office.
11:54 Don't play games.
11:55 Now, tell me.
11:56 Gus, the burglar is suing us.
11:59 He can't sue us.
12:00 Well, somebody better tell him, because he's doing it.
12:02 Well, that sounds--
12:03 [laughter]
12:04 Sounds rather legal.
12:05 Is there anything I can do?
12:06 Well, maybe, sir.
12:07 Vicki just got a letter saying we've been sued.
12:09 Oh?
12:10 Oh, here, let me talk to her.
12:12 Hello, Vicki.
12:13 It's Joe Chase again.
12:14 Uh, Gus tells me you're in a little trouble, huh?
12:17 Hello, Mr. Chase.
12:18 Yes.
12:19 We're being sued by a burglar.
12:21 [laughter]
12:25 You know, Gus, this wife of yours has a wonderful sense of humor.
12:28 She says you're being sued by a burglar.
12:30 Yes, sir.
12:31 He broke into the house a few days ago, and I caught him.
12:34 And I screamed, and he ran, and he fell over the hose out in front of our house
12:39 and smacked his head, and he's suing for damages.
12:41 Can he collect--
12:42 [laughter]
12:45 Vicki, wait a minute.
12:47 Say that again, will you?
12:49 He broke into the house a few days ago--
12:51 No, no, no, no, no.
12:52 I mean--
12:53 [laughter]
12:54 I mean, I'm worried about being sued by a burglar.
12:56 [laughter]
12:58 Well, it's true, Mr. Chase.
12:59 We are.
13:00 [laughter]
13:05 I guess it does sound kind of silly.
13:07 [laughter]
13:11 Vicki, in all of my years in the insurance business, I've never heard anything as funny as that.
13:18 Can he collect--
13:19 [laughter]
13:22 Mr. Chase.
13:24 Yes?
13:26 Can he?
13:27 [laughter]
13:29 Vicki, Vicki, that would defend entirely unneeded insurance company that handles your liabilities.
13:37 [laughter]
13:42 Vicki.
13:44 Vicki, I'll, uh--
13:46 I'll look into this with Gus.
13:48 I'll get back to you.
13:49 Now, wasn't it maybe necessary to meet at your house tonight?
13:52 Of course.
13:54 Goodbye, Vicki.
13:56 [music]
14:01 Now, now you came to here.
14:06 Yes.
14:07 Ah!
14:08 What?
14:10 That's you screaming.
14:11 [laughter]
14:12 Ah!
14:13 It's all right, lady.
14:14 I got locked out of the bathroom.
14:16 Good, good, good.
14:17 [laughter]
14:19 I beg your pardon.
14:20 [laughter]
14:22 Well, that's what he said when I screamed.
14:27 That's why I thought it might have been a nightmare, sir.
14:29 Oh, yes.
14:31 Uh, Gus, tell me, uh, which way was this man facing when you found him out there on the front lawn?
14:35 Facing the street, sir.
14:36 Ah-ha!
14:37 Now, that means that he was running away from the house when he tripped over that hose.
14:42 There you see.
14:43 Oh, honey, I never disbelieved you.
14:45 I always thought--
14:46 [siren]
14:47 Oh, that must be the Clemson.
14:48 Mm-hmm.
14:49 I guess we won't need him anymore, eh, sir?
14:50 Oh, well, I don't know, Gus.
14:52 I want to get all the facts, man, on the water.
14:53 [chatter]
14:57 Something wrong, George?
14:59 You'll see.
15:00 I'm sorry we're late.
15:01 We drove around the block a few times.
15:03 Oh, well, that's all right now that you're all here.
15:05 I want to explain the procedure of this thing.
15:07 Now, we've all got to go down to this lawyer's office tomorrow and give a deposition.
15:10 That means tell our story.
15:12 As I understand it, Mrs. Clemson, you were asleep at the time, huh?
15:15 No.
15:16 Here we go.
15:18 Vicki and I both heard this noise.
15:20 Vicki got up and I followed her.
15:21 She didn't see me.
15:22 We both saw the burglar.
15:23 He didn't see us.
15:24 Vicki screamed.
15:25 And when the burglar saw us, he said, it's all right, ladies.
15:28 I was locked in the cupboard.
15:30 [laughter]
15:31 How do you like that for a bulletin?
15:33 [laughter]
15:34 Thank you, sweetie.
15:35 But now tell him what really happened.
15:37 That's what really happened.
15:39 Oh, Wilma, if you told a thing like that on the witness stand, they'd throw us all in jail.
15:43 You know, Mrs. Clemson, your loyalty to your friend is admirable.
15:46 But I must know the truth.
15:48 Vicki and I both heard this noise.
15:50 Vicki got up and I followed her.
15:52 She didn't see me.
15:53 But we both saw the burglar.
15:54 And Wilma's lying like a rug.
15:56 [laughter]
15:59 Wow.
16:00 Honey, you were sound asleep.
16:02 How would you know?
16:03 You were busy screaming.
16:06 I think she's just wonderful.
16:10 And now we get the water.
16:12 [laughter]
16:14 Oh, Wilma, come on.
16:16 Tell Mr. Chase the truth.
16:17 You were out like a life, weren't you?
16:19 Vicki and I both heard this noise.
16:21 Vicki got up and I followed her.
16:25 [laughter]
16:27 Vicki, what in the world are you crying for?
16:31 She tried so hard.
16:34 [laughter]
16:39 [laughter]
16:47 Good morning.
16:48 Morning.
16:50 Good morning.
16:52 My name is Samuel Bender.
16:55 Samuel Bender.
16:57 [laughter]
17:00 Oh, yes, Mr. Belknap said you were to go right in.
17:02 Thank you.
17:03 [laughter]
17:09 Good morning.
17:10 [laughter]
17:11 How do you like that?
17:12 We cool our heels for an hour and that little thief goes right in.
17:15 Whose side is that lawyer on anyway?
17:18 Well, he's Bender's lawyer, George.
17:20 Well, he ought to be disrobed.
17:22 Disbarred.
17:23 That too.
17:24 [laughter]
17:26 Oh, hi, everybody.
17:28 Oh, hi, Sam.
17:29 Mr. Chase and Mr. Angel of Henshaw, Taylor, Malcolm and James.
17:32 For Mr. Belknap.
17:33 Bender versus Angel.
17:35 Hello, James.
17:36 Hi.
17:37 Mr. Chase and Mr. Angel of Henshaw, Taylor, Malcolm and James.
17:41 For Mr. Belknap.
17:42 Bender versus Angel.
17:44 Ah, this shouldn't take any time at all.
17:46 Say, you're not kidding.
17:47 Does that lawyer of his know that that miserable little rat fell down facing this--
17:50 George, you may go in, Mr. Chase.
17:52 Thank you.
17:54 Well, don't they want me to?
17:56 Later, Vicki, later.
17:59 Good luck, girls.
18:01 The thing that fractures me is that I got taken in by that little con artist.
18:05 So did I, but we know better now.
18:08 Yeah, well, when I get through with him, you'll wish he was back in Cucamonga
18:11 or wherever it was he got that accident.
18:15 They want you, George.
18:17 Alone?
18:19 Yeah, come on.
18:21 Well, well, well, wasn't that a little quick?
18:27 Don't they want me to?
18:28 Later, sweetie.
18:29 Don't they want me to?
18:30 Later, sweetie.
18:35 Mrs. Clemson, too.
18:37 Don't you want me?
18:38 Later, Vicki.
18:55 Would you like something to read?
18:56 There's a new digest on briefs and depositions here.
19:00 No, thanks.
19:02 I have a survey of writs and indentures.
19:10 Vicki.
19:12 Oh, honey, what time did you go to bed after we left for San Diego?
19:16 About 10 o'clock.
19:17 Why?
19:18 About 10 o'clock.
19:21 That doesn't make any--
19:22 No!
19:24 Vicki, which bed did you sleep in?
19:27 Gus's.
19:28 Thank you.
19:31 Which one is his?
19:33 Gus's, no.
19:34 Why don't I just answer the questions, Vicki?
19:36 The one away from the big window.
19:38 The one away from the big-- yeah.
19:39 Mr. King!
19:44 Vicki?
19:45 Vicki, you didn't turn out the living room lights, did you?
19:48 You're going to--
19:52 They'll call you when they need you.
19:59 I feel so ashamed of myself.
20:02 What happened, George?
20:04 They want you in there, Vicki.
20:07 And, Vicki, please remember, the poor little fella has feelings.
20:14 And as representatives of the insurance company, Mr. Angel and I resent this man playing on the emotions of our witnesses.
20:21 Why, he could win an Academy Award for phony acting.
20:26 Oh, will you stop taking down every word I say until Mrs. Angel gets here?
20:31 I believe she is here.
20:33 What?
20:34 Oh, hi, honey.
20:35 This is Mr. Belknap, Mr. Bender's attorney.
20:38 Mr. Belknap, my wife, Mrs. Angel.
20:40 How do you do?
20:41 Please be seated, Mrs. Angel.
20:44 I only wanted to say that I feel no personal animosity in the case.
20:51 I hope you feel the same, Mrs. Angel.
20:54 Nothing personal, no.
20:57 Mr. Belknap, your client's a burglar.
20:59 Well, that doesn't seem to be a very popular opinion, Mrs. Angel.
21:03 We are not conducting a poll.
21:06 I saw this man.
21:07 I can identify him.
21:09 I wasn't dreaming.
21:11 I suggest that we talk settlement instead of a--
21:16 Ann?
21:18 Oh, no, it's nothing really.
21:23 Oh.
21:27 [coughing]
21:28 Yeah?
21:29 This is act two.
21:31 This is a throbbing head, Bill.
21:34 The watchman.
21:35 Watch how bravely we drink that water.
21:37 Oh, we mustn't tilt her head back too far.
21:39 The bandage might fall off.
21:43 March back to her seat like a brave little Joan of Arc.
21:49 Mr. Chase, he's still the burglar, but it is possible his head really hurt.
21:53 That's what I told him.
21:54 Thank you.
21:56 Now, ask you why I was in the nightclub.
21:59 No, not the dog.
22:00 Not the dog.
22:01 Mr. Chase, Mr. Chase, don't listen to him.
22:04 Why, he does everything but get off the violin.
22:07 He's not fooling me, Mr. Chase.
22:09 He's still the burglar.
22:11 Long ago, when I couldn't sleep, I used to take Toby for walks.
22:18 Toby?
22:19 His dog.
22:20 The animal doesn't even any longer exist.
22:23 You mean she--
22:24 Yes, three years ago.
22:28 Easy, Sam.
22:30 I'm so sorry.
22:32 Thank you, my dear.
22:34 You see, that's why I was in your neighborhood at 3 o'clock in the morning.
22:41 I like to pretend that I'm taking Toby out wandering when I can't sleep.
22:48 Silly, I mean--
22:49 Oh, shut up!
22:52 Well, there's no need to be rude, Mr. Chase.
22:55 Rude?
22:56 Vicki, I will lay you 10 to 1.
22:59 Toby was the name of his cellmate in Sing Sing.
23:03 All I'm saying is a man can be a crook, but he can still love his dog.
23:10 I know I saw this, ma'am.
23:12 I know I did.
23:13 I'm sure of it, Diane, that this is a desk, or that this is a lighter, and that this man is a burglar.
23:19 Thank you, Mrs. Angel.
23:20 You're welcome.
23:22 And not only that, I'm--
23:24 I'm sure I saw him wandering around the bedroom.
23:28 Vicki, you are?
23:30 You saw it?
23:31 All right, now, Vicki, tell me.
23:33 What was he doing?
23:34 What was he doing?
23:36 Well, I think he was standing by the closet carrying a cat.
23:41 A cat, I think.
23:44 A cat!
23:46 Where did a cat come from?
23:50 I was pretty glad he was asleep, but I--
23:52 If Vicki said he was carrying a cat, he was carrying a cat.
23:55 Gus, listen to me, you two are my clients.
23:58 I'm trying to represent you.
24:00 And not only that, but it's your husband's insurance company that is being taken.
24:03 And now you're coming up with cats!
24:05 Dog yelling my wife!
24:06 Oh, stay out of this!
24:07 I don't want you to stay out of this!
24:09 Vicki, can't you see that you're playing right into that little crook's hands?
24:12 Why, you lay off the man!
24:14 I am not.
24:15 I wouldn't defend a man who'd hold a cat up by the tail.
24:19 Hey, wait a minute!
24:20 Now, listen, I'll take you to that some sort of things.
24:23 And I didn't hang no cat up by no tail!
24:26 All I did was to pick in the closet and pull out that meagre little fur piece of hers!
24:31 And it worked!
24:34 It worked, that cat.
24:40 Thank you.
24:41 The defense rests.
24:46 Why did you call the police?
24:48 She can 5-2-1-1.
24:54 Well, that was a very pleasant deposition.
24:58 Come on, Gus, Vicki, shall we go?
25:00 Oh, I'd better still help you.
25:01 Here, have a light.
25:11 Oh.
25:17 Well, the least you could do is thank him.
25:26 Got a date with an angel.
25:28 Gonna meet her at seven.
25:31 Got a date with an angel.
25:33 And I'm on my way to heaven.
26:02 Ladies and gentlemen, your Plymouth dealer invites you to watch the Lawrence Welk program's
26:06 top tunes and new talent on this same network.
26:09 Tom Kennedy speaking.
26:10 Good night, everybody.
26:11 [applause]
26:12 [music]
26:13 [applause]
26:15 [music]
26:16 (audience applauding)