Relationship Tips: 5 Signs You Gave Up On Dating
So you’re doing all the so-called ‘right things’ to find love, but nothing is panning out the way you want it to be. Maybe you've found yourself swiping left and right with little enthusiasm or going on first dates that lead to nowhere. In the ever-evolving world of modern dating, it's easy to feel overwhelmed or burned out. So here are a few signs you might've given up on dating, why and what to do about it.
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00:00 Have you unknowingly shut yourself off from love
00:03 while convincing yourself that you're still open to finding it?
00:06 If you're feeling emotionally numb, defeated, or heartbroken in your desire to date,
00:11 this video is for you.
00:13 By uncovering the deeper psychological reasons behind why you've given up on dating,
00:18 you can start to heal your sore heart.
00:21 A Cut Too Deep
00:23 Past trauma like abandonment,
00:25 the death of the person you love,
00:27 the divorce of your parents,
00:29 or childhood neglect can understandably lead one to give up on dating.
00:34 As singer and actress Demi Lovato explains,
00:36 experiencing trauma can make you build walls around your heart
00:40 to protect yourself from further pain.
00:42 It can make you hesitant to trust and be vulnerable in relationships.
00:45 But I believe that through therapy, self-reflection,
00:48 and surrounding yourself with the right people,
00:50 it's possible to break down those walls and find love again.
00:54 Experiencing trauma can have a significant impact on one's ability to trust
00:58 and form intimate connections.
01:00 You may feel reluctant or guarded when it comes to love or dating.
01:04 Not Me
01:07 Every time you approached your family home,
01:10 your body would tense up immediately,
01:12 like your body knew it would need armor
01:14 for the battleground you were about to walk into once you opened that door.
01:19 At a young age, you promised yourself that you'd never let this happen to you.
01:23 This is because past experiences hold significant weight on how you view dating,
01:28 whether it's a bad relationship, infidelity, or unrequited love,
01:32 those experiences shape you.
01:34 Maybe it doesn't feel like you're giving up on dating,
01:38 but it feels like you're giving up the pain they brought.
01:41 The fear of repeating past negative experiences
01:44 can make it challenging to trust new people
01:46 and can lead to heightened hypervigilance.
01:49 Inactive
01:51 In today's modern world,
01:53 it's almost impossible to date without using an app.
01:56 But dating apps can feel like psychological punishment,
02:00 where you have to mentally prepare yourself to open the app
02:03 as you face the ghosters, the meanies, or the plain-out creepy messages.
02:08 If you think this way, you definitely aren't alone.
02:11 Nearly half, 45% of Americans who used dating apps or websites in the previous year
02:18 said the experience left them feeling more frustrated.
02:21 So while you may technically have a profile,
02:24 if yours has been inactive or neglected,
02:27 this could be a sign that you've given up on dating.
02:29 If you're enjoying the video,
02:31 please consider hitting that like button and subscribing.
02:34 It really helps us continue helping others.
02:36 Detachment
02:38 According to best-selling self-help author Mark Mason,
02:42 a common way we bypass dealing with the emotional stress involved in dating
02:46 is by dissociating,
02:48 and we shut off our need for intimacy and connection.
02:52 Picture this.
02:53 You're sitting across from someone on a date,
02:55 but it feels like you're a zombie.
02:57 Despite physically being there,
02:59 your eyes may reveal a detachment,
03:01 a lack of genuine engagement,
03:03 signifying that you may have reached the point of giving up on dating.
03:07 Dating can evoke a whirlwind of emotions
03:10 like anxiety, fear, and excitement all at once.
03:14 You may use dissociation as a way to cope and create a sense of distance
03:18 from the intensity of these overwhelming emotions.
03:22 Push it away
03:23 Are you prone to creating distance,
03:26 avoiding commitment,
03:27 or finding reasons to end relationships before they become too deep?
03:32 According to psychologist Lisa Firestone,
03:34 love doesn't always just slip away.
03:36 We push it away.
03:37 Actively, slowly, unknowingly,
03:41 you push away from love.
03:43 This can materialize as starting petty arguments
03:46 or being emotionally unavailable.
03:48 Sounds like a classic teen rom-com movie, right?
03:51 The one where the main character embarks on a series of
03:54 light-hearted frivolous encounters in search of fun.
03:57 However, when the possibility of a genuine and profound relationship arises,
04:01 they instinctively push it away.
04:03 A deep-seated fear of love may arise due to past experiences of heartbreak,
04:08 attachment issues, or a fear of vulnerability.
04:11 Often, we find ourselves unprepared for something real.
04:15 The more someone means to us,
04:16 the greater the potential for heartbreak if it doesn't work out.
04:20 And so, you subconsciously protect yourself by sabotaging potential relationships.
04:25 But it's okay to let love in, even if you're terrified, says Lisa.
04:30 There is absolutely nothing wrong with not dating.
04:34 But if you can relate to these signs and have given up because of a pain in your heart,
04:38 this video may be a sign of something worth exploring through therapy
04:42 or with a heart-to-heart with the person you trust.
04:45 Maybe even through journaling or self-reflection as a gentle first step.
04:50 Can you relate to these signs?
04:52 Chances are you're not alone, so please share your feelings in the comments below
04:56 if it's helpful to talk about it and you feel comfortable.
04:59 And before you go, if you find this video valuable,
05:03 don't miss 10 Ways to Deal with a Broken Heart.