The Scotsman Sessions #386: Zara Gladman

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The Scotsman Sessions #386: Zara Gladman
Transcript
00:00 (upbeat music)
00:02 - Hi, I'm Zara Gladman, zoologist, comedian,
00:12 and one of the oldest people on TikTok.
00:14 I downloaded TikTok during the lockdown
00:17 because I didn't want to be left alone with my own thoughts.
00:20 And now I do most of my comedy online.
00:23 There's just something amazing about making jokes
00:26 from the comfort of my own home or bed.
00:28 Some might call this approach to comedy lazy or antisocial,
00:33 but I'm a 38 year old aging millennial
00:36 and it's a weeknight, so why would I go outside?
00:39 On TikTok, I have experimented with a variety of characters.
00:43 I am a tween Scottish man.
00:47 Hi there, I know it's quarter to five on a Friday,
00:52 but I work in television.
00:55 Yeah, yeah, so could you drop everything?
00:57 (laughs)
00:58 Of course I'm working class.
01:00 I'm from Glasgow, Glasgow.
01:03 I'm from Glasgow.
01:04 Any resemblance to real life people is purely coincidental,
01:08 but by far my most popular character is Aileen,
01:12 the Glasgow West End mom.
01:14 Glasgow, G12 is the postcode.
01:16 Living my best life in my West End board.
01:18 Coffee?
01:19 I'll have a skinny oat latte.
01:20 Catching up with friends in a Highland cafe.
01:22 Like Aileen, I stay in the deeply unfashionable
01:26 West End of Glasgow.
01:27 I did try to move Southside,
01:29 but I don't have enough stick and poke tattoos,
01:31 so they didn't let me in.
01:33 Actually, I don't have any tattoos.
01:35 I've got a really low pain threshold.
01:37 I have always gravitated towards musical comedy,
01:40 especially parody.
01:42 And through the years, I have done a Katy Perry parody
01:46 of "Last Friday Night" about a night out in Glasgow.
01:48 ♪ Last Friday night ♪
01:50 ♪ Yeah, we did the wholesome show ♪
01:52 ♪ Oh, the hateful show ♪
01:54 ♪ Then they made me go home ♪
01:56 I made it onto page three for that of the Glaswegian.
01:59 In 2014, I parodied Lady Gaga
02:02 with my character, Lady Alba,
02:04 who got pretty involved with the indie ref.
02:07 ♪ You know better ♪
02:08 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
02:12 ♪ Caught in a bad romance ♪
02:15 And then during the pandemic,
02:16 I did a parody of Mystique's 2003 banger, "Scandalous."
02:21 ♪ A year deprived of human touch ♪
02:23 ♪ A chat on Zoom just ain't enough ♪
02:26 ♪ A little conversation, baby ♪
02:29 ♪ First person that I've talked to lately ♪
02:31 ♪ You got me oversharing like crazy ♪
02:33 ♪ Wanna be my bubble ♪
02:35 Which was described by the band's Alicia Dixon
02:38 as absolutely hilarious.
02:40 Career highlight, much?
02:41 One thing I have had to come to terms with recently
02:44 is the fact that people probably like my characters
02:46 more than they like me.
02:48 So with that in mind, I am gonna hand over to Aileen now,
02:51 who has prepared a special feature just for "The Scotsman."
02:55 Enjoy.
02:56 - Hello, readers of "The Scotsman."
02:59 Now, I understand that "The Scotsman"
03:02 is headquartered in Edinburgh, my deepest sympathies.
03:06 And so I feel it is my duty as the cultural ambassador
03:10 for the West End of Glasgow to give you a little tour.
03:14 For any day out in the West, you'll need three things.
03:18 A golf umbrella, suitably branded.
03:20 Mine is from the Glasgow Youth Choir.
03:22 Sunglasses, I'm a well-kent face around these parts.
03:26 And a skinny oat milk latte.
03:28 Let's go.
03:29 First stop is Ashton Lane.
03:31 It is chock-a-block here on a Saturday night
03:34 with footballers and real housewives of Hill Head.
03:38 I'm more of a weekday glass of sov
03:40 on the chipped rooftop kind of gal.
03:42 The Botanic Gardens.
03:44 I come here to de-stress after a busy day
03:47 of briefing the cleaner and doing hot yoga
03:50 and playing Wurdle.
03:52 Life is so hectic.
03:54 Great Western Road, the Fifth Avenue of Glasgow.
03:58 Oh, there's Carol.
04:00 Hello.
04:01 Her conservatory is a crime against humanity.
04:04 My alma mater.
04:06 First-class honors, if you're wondering.
04:08 And yes, I did run for student president.
04:10 And yes, all the rugby boys did vote for me.
04:14 No trip would be complete without a pilgrimage
04:17 to the Oran Moor.
04:18 I met my husband Daniel here at a play, a pint, a pint.
04:23 No pints for me, of course.
04:25 Hendrickson Slimline, tall glass, no ice.
04:28 Excuse me.
04:29 Hello?
04:31 She's parked where?
04:33 That's my space.
04:34 I'll be there right away.
04:36 Sorry, I've got to go.
04:37 I'm a parking attendant in my spare time.
04:39 Bye.
04:40 [BLANK_AUDIO]

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