• last year
ADVENTURES OF THE NAKED UMBRELLA Movie Trailer HD - Plot synopsis: Convicted arsonist Sam Wanoutsky is hosting his conspiracy podcast, The Naked Umbrella, when his trailer home explodes and burns to the ground. Convinced he's been set up, Sam hits the road with his wife, Irene, to clear his name. Now off his meds, and with his parole officer hot on his tail, Sam's psychosis returns as he traverses his relationship with reality and his eternal love for his wife.
Transcript
00:00 Eyes on the fire, Sam.
00:02 Cooooooool in all Earthlings!
00:08 Calling all commies and vegans and tea baggers, we...
00:12 That's not very Christmassy!
00:14 Now listen up, folks. We've all known that aliens are real...
00:17 Hey, I brought you some...
00:18 That's right, since the Roswell crash in 1947, right?
00:21 Who is this?
00:22 One of my parolees.
00:23 Since that time, designer viruses are calling in the week while endless quarantines are stripping all innocent survivors...
00:29 What's he in for?
00:31 Since the pandemic began, conspiracy theorists have targeted 5G cell towers.
00:36 Well, hello there, 5G!
00:38 He's got a good heart.
00:39 Good heart don't fix a bad race.
00:41 You damn spooks! You think you can take me out that easy?
00:45 We need to get ourselves gone.
00:51 Why?
00:52 For starters, baby, the house is on fire and I'm a pyromaniac thrice convicted.
00:56 You are a convicted arsonist.
00:58 Pyromania is not a crime.
01:00 I say we better get to Granny's.
01:01 Granny's?
01:02 You don't remember what you tried to offer me with the rocket launcher?
01:06 Yeah, that's why she sold it.
01:08 What have you done?
01:10 Your client is in violation of his parole. He is a fugitive.
01:14 Who in the heck are you yelling at?
01:20 Granny member Irene?
01:21 Are you off your meds again?
01:25 I've been paid.
01:27 What is that thing? It's following us, I'm telling you!
01:30 Eyes on the fire, Sam.
01:31 Eyes on my fire, Sammy boy.
01:33 How do you know them words?
01:35 I know everything about you, Bill.
01:37 Take this.
01:38 You're just soaking them hogs.
01:40 God, Jerry, what the hell are you doing?
01:43 What needs to be done.
01:44 You're hurting me!
01:45 This guy is a convicted arsonist and all of a sudden his oven just happens to explode?
01:51 I did not burn down my own house.
01:53 Sam, have you taken your meds today?
01:55 They got blown off.
01:57 Sammy, what did you do?
02:04 Granny!
02:05 You are a nightmare.
02:07 You're like my finest fire, baby.
02:09 Granny!
02:11 Might as well let Jesus take the wheel.
02:16 It's not rocket Scientology.
02:21 Oh, don't be such a victim.
02:24 You might want to sweep the house for innocence before you burn it to the ground.
02:27 Sam!
02:30 You cannot run, okay? They will shoot you.
02:32 What's with you guys in the butt stuff? Simple question.
02:39 You have issues.
02:42 What are you staring at, birdbrain?
02:47 - I'm gonna go to bed.
02:48 [BLANK_AUDIO]