Rural domestic abuse: A survivor's story - Derbyshire Constabulary
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00:00 As I've grown up, domestic abuse was that your husband, your partner, your wife hit you.
00:07 It was physical, not mental.
00:11 So I didn't believe it to be domestic abuse.
00:26 I blessed him, hide the car keys, hide my passport, hide all documents, money documents,
00:35 bank books, so I couldn't go to the building society and draw money out.
00:40 Constantly asking me where I was going and who I was meeting.
00:45 And it takes its toll after, you know, a while.
00:50 The mental abuse went on for probably a year almost.
00:55 But then the physical abuse, it started quite quickly
01:03 and up until, obviously, there was a big incident.
01:09 It was a normal day as, you know, any other.
01:14 We took, I took the children to school, you know, come to school, picking up, went to pick them up.
01:22 Kevin was convinced I was going somewhere else, wanted to come with me.
01:27 The school's five minutes away.
01:30 We had a bit of a heated discussion about why, you know, if I can't go and fetch the children,
01:36 five minutes, we'll be back in ten minutes.
01:40 But he was insistent that he came.
01:44 We drove through the village into a field, the land that we farm,
01:50 and Kevin hit me with an axe on my head.
01:57 He just kept saying that, "I know you're leaving me, but you're not, not now."
02:03 All I wanted to do was get the axe off him.
02:08 So we had a bit of a scuffle.
02:11 I actually managed to get the axe out of his hand
02:14 and because of the time of year it was, we was in a mowing grass field.
02:19 So I just launched the axe behind me, knowing it would be harder to find it in the long grass.
02:27 And then Kevin floored me and tried to strangle me.
02:33 Sounds a bit strange, but his eyes weren't really focusing.
02:39 And all I could think about was being okay for the children.
02:44 I've got to get out of this situation.
02:47 So I was trying to reassure Kevin, telling him that, "Don't be silly, I love you."
02:52 All the while this was going on, I actually managed to get his hands from around my neck.
02:59 And then Kevin sort of changed, like he'd realised what he'd done
03:10 and just got up, walked off to the car and drove off.
03:14 The car stopped at the side of the road and I asked for help.
03:33 I asked to be taken back up into the village for my children.
03:38 Obviously, I didn't realise what I actually looked like.
03:43 There was blood everywhere.
03:46 I told the driver that my husband had tried to kill me
03:50 and he took me to a workplace where there was first aiders.
03:56 It's, I think, one of the hardest things I've ever had to do is tell my children.
04:01 To tell your child that their dad has passed away,
04:06 to tell your children hows and whys is very hard
04:11 because all you want to do is protect them.
04:14 Obviously, myself, I thought, "Well, people will talk about you behind your back.
04:20 They'll gossip about you. Who do you trust enough to tell?"
04:27 And like I say, unfortunately, it isn't until something does happen
04:32 that you do realise that the support was always there.
04:36 It's the easiest thing to do, to talk.
04:41 It's hard to know that it's okay to.
04:46 You know, I wish I had. Things might have been different.
04:50 [Music plays]