A couple had a "pleasant divorce" and split their farm so their kids could stay in one place and spend holidays and dinner's together with their new partners.
Annie Muscato, 33, and her ex-husband, Derek, knew they wanted to have a "collaborative" divorce when they separated four years ago - a healthy and communicative split.
They nested for the first six months so their children - Ellie Jo, seven, and JP, five - could stay in the family home while Annie and Derek took turns staying in an apartment.
The pair then decided to divide their land and Derek, who works in medical research, built a home on the farm and now lives a quarter of a mile away from the family home.
Annie and Derek now both get to see their children every day and have rebuilt their friendship – spending holidays together with each other and their new partners.
Annie, who is finishing her PHD in leadership, from Gainesville, Florida, US, said: “We’ve all seen the terrible divorce.
“We didn’t want that for our kids.
“We made an intentional choice to it differently.
"We were making an effort to have a really collaborative, pleasant divorce.
“We both had to really commit to it.
“He’s a good friend – it helped us on how well we can do divorce.”
Annie and Derek had been together for nine years and married for seven when Annie asked for a divorce in April 2019.
She said: “We had outgrown each other.”
The pair gave counselling a go but afterwards Annie decided she still wanted to separate.
Annie said: “Derek set aside his ego.
“For a lot of people there would be bitter feelings but he took the opportunity to grow himself.”
Derek said: "At first I felt heartbroken and lost but then, through therapy and talking with friends and family, came to the conclusion that this was the best and healthiest thing for us, and our kids."
They had a marriage therapist who helped guide them to have a collaborative divorce – and kept going for counselling for the first six months of the separation.
Annie said: “We keep the kids as the compass.
“For six months we did nesting.
“We had a place in town and we took turns going there. The kids stayed at home.
“We took our vows over again when we took off our rings. We promised to always respect one another and support each other. It's still relevant.
“The promises we made were still in our lives.”
Annie Muscato, 33, and her ex-husband, Derek, knew they wanted to have a "collaborative" divorce when they separated four years ago - a healthy and communicative split.
They nested for the first six months so their children - Ellie Jo, seven, and JP, five - could stay in the family home while Annie and Derek took turns staying in an apartment.
The pair then decided to divide their land and Derek, who works in medical research, built a home on the farm and now lives a quarter of a mile away from the family home.
Annie and Derek now both get to see their children every day and have rebuilt their friendship – spending holidays together with each other and their new partners.
Annie, who is finishing her PHD in leadership, from Gainesville, Florida, US, said: “We’ve all seen the terrible divorce.
“We didn’t want that for our kids.
“We made an intentional choice to it differently.
"We were making an effort to have a really collaborative, pleasant divorce.
“We both had to really commit to it.
“He’s a good friend – it helped us on how well we can do divorce.”
Annie and Derek had been together for nine years and married for seven when Annie asked for a divorce in April 2019.
She said: “We had outgrown each other.”
The pair gave counselling a go but afterwards Annie decided she still wanted to separate.
Annie said: “Derek set aside his ego.
“For a lot of people there would be bitter feelings but he took the opportunity to grow himself.”
Derek said: "At first I felt heartbroken and lost but then, through therapy and talking with friends and family, came to the conclusion that this was the best and healthiest thing for us, and our kids."
They had a marriage therapist who helped guide them to have a collaborative divorce – and kept going for counselling for the first six months of the separation.
Annie said: “We keep the kids as the compass.
“For six months we did nesting.
“We had a place in town and we took turns going there. The kids stayed at home.
“We took our vows over again when we took off our rings. We promised to always respect one another and support each other. It's still relevant.
“The promises we made were still in our lives.”
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FunTranscript
00:00 When I first told people that my ex-husband and I were getting divorced and that beyond that we were making this effort to have a
00:06 really
00:07 collaborative pleasant divorce and we were gonna split the farm so we could both live here and the kids could stay on the farm and
00:12 The kids could run back and forth and we were gonna do holidays together
00:14 And when I described the situation that we have here
00:18 There were three things that I heard all the time
00:20 The first was that I was never going to find someone as amazing as Derek
00:24 The second was that there was no way this was gonna work that we were both gonna be able to live here that we were
00:29 gonna get along that this was gonna be like a healthy situation for anyone and then third that even if we could do it when
00:36 We started dating people it would never work that we would never find partners that were on board with this plan
00:42 To those things I would say that even if I was alone forever
00:45 It was better to be lonely alone than lonely in a relationship
00:48 But aside from that I actually did very much believe that Derek and I both would be capable of finding people who were much better
00:54 Fits for us and we would be much healthier and much happier with but beyond that even if it didn't happen
01:00 Not really a point to that
01:01 We were absolutely capable of making this work because we were doing the work to make it work and three
01:07 Neither one of us were gonna date anyone who wasn't okay with this
01:10 So that was never going to be an issue and I believe that people would be okay with it
01:14 It's my boyfriend and I just casually walking across the field with Italian cookies and champagne
01:20 to my ex-husband's house for family night dinner
01:24 One of those things I feel like it's so normalized for us
01:26 I don't think about it until I like go to tell someone about it or describe it
01:30 And then I understand that it does on paper sound strange. What are we searching gentlemen?
01:36 Dude ours yes
01:43 He has to look the cameras
01:47 Can we see some like practice poses or something
01:52 *laughing*
01:54 Stop it
01:58 Epic
02:11 No, oh and you were right on it too
02:20 I was like ohhhh
02:22 I'm like yeah but he's like
02:24 Yeah
02:26 *laughing*
02:28 I don't know if he
02:30 has a lot of thoughts
02:32 Right?
02:34 He's a 10
02:36 Is he a 10 for you?
02:38 No actually no he's more of an 8
02:40 Ryan Gosling is a 10
02:42 We should pick a number of followers that when we get to they like meet you in one video or something
02:46 Yeah but how many followers do we have to have before we reveal best?
02:50 How many do you have?
02:52 I have 95,000 right now
02:54 150k
02:56 Alright
02:58 Alright we get 150,000 followers
03:00 You can meet my ex-husband's girlfriend
03:02 *laughing*
03:04 (laughing)