Fully rendered Max Payne is... weird.
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00:00 Hello all of you beautiful people, Jules here for WhatCulture.com, and today I'm going
00:03 to talk to you about the wonders that are unlockable skins.
00:07 What's that?
00:08 In this day and age you don't know what an unlockable is?
00:11 Well believe it or not kids, there was once a time, the long, long ago, where you used
00:15 to have secrets and extra features hidden on a game's disc, that you could actually
00:20 access through skill or persevering through challenges.
00:23 I know, it seems absolutely mad to not have to pay for something like this, right?
00:27 Well fear not, because we're going to take that disbelief that I see written all over
00:30 your faces and push it even further by talking about unlockable costumes that are honestly,
00:35 bizarre.
00:36 From crabby canines to voluptuous velociraptors, we're going to air into the world of the
00:41 strange and look at some skins that really make you question what the developers were
00:45 huffing.
00:46 So come gather round you meat sacks, as I'm Jules, this is WhatCulture.com, and these
00:49 are 10 Video Game Skins That You Won't Believe That You Can Unlock.
00:54 10.
00:55 Baseball Fury's Outfit - The Warriors
00:57 We begin this list with what is essentially a bit of fan service to lovers of the amazingly
01:01 cheesy but brilliant film that makes my bottles clack with joy, The Warriors.
01:06 This film, and its amazing video game adaptation that was handled by Rockstar by the way, is
01:11 a vibrant, quotable and downright bopping time.
01:15 And that is down in part to the incredibly colourful array of gangs that can be found.
01:19 The Turnbull ACs, the Mimes, the Punks, and my personal favourite of all, the Baseball
01:24 Furies, whose skin you could don should you complete the game 100% on the hardest setting
01:30 and then select the 'Unleash the Fury' mode.
01:33 This now posits you in a painted outfit of the Silent Furies and allows you to run rampant
01:38 all over the city.
01:39 However, that is not the only bonus, for if you reach the chapter in which the Warriors
01:43 come toe to toe with this gang, they've all been replaced with warrior models, meaning
01:47 that you're effectively inside a parallel universe.
01:50 Now that, I can dig.
01:52 9.
01:53 David Hasselhoff - South Park The Stick of Truth
01:55 It's honestly amazing to see how well Stick of Truth transitioned all of the style, the
02:00 writing, and most importantly, the bizarre humour from the South Park show to its game.
02:05 I reckon that many people were worried that the jokes would fall flat or risk being censored,
02:09 but then again, after farting on a dead Nazi baby, I think these fears were laid to rest.
02:15 One of the lesser talked about moments, though, was a skin that you could unlock for your
02:18 character by visiting the plastic surgeon in the town and selecting 'The Hoff' from
02:23 the list of procedures.
02:24 I won't lie, it is a pricey investment both in terms of cash and the very likely painful
02:29 surgical procedure, but it is absolutely worth it to see those radiant locks of hair and
02:34 perfect cheekbones once you step back out.
02:37 There's really no benefit to this other than an achievement that's tied to completing
02:40 the game looking like the Knight Rider star, but then again, when else are you going to
02:44 get this opportunity again?
02:46 8.
02:47 Crab Dog - Rule of Rose
02:49 As a fan of survival horror games, my interest was definitely piqued when I was told of a
02:53 title called Rule of Rose, a game that dropped onto the PS2 that unfortunately I never got
02:58 to play because it was banned in the UK for a mistake that was made with what the game's
03:04 content included.
03:06 After researching it for this list, I can only say that I'm gutted that I didn't
03:08 get the chance to play what appears to be, I don't know, what you'd call an arthouse
03:12 psychological thriller that sees protagonist Jennifer and her dog Brown trying to survive
03:17 all sorts of imps and terrors that's set against a World War 2 backdrop.
03:22 Its narrative is utterly bananas as well, being rewritten as events unfold and Jennifer's
03:27 memory returns, meaning that she actually changes the environments and interactions
03:32 to suit this new information.
03:33 The combat is equally... odd.
03:36 I say that because enemies are hard to hit and fighting is pretty clumsy, almost like
03:40 trying to grab a slippery fish, which actually kind of makes sense seeing as you can dress
03:44 up Jennifer as a giant octopus through one of the unlockable skins.
03:48 Yet who cares about the human in this situation because Brown becomes a crab.
03:53 I honestly don't know what else I need to say other than that your dog companion becomes
03:58 a crab, who follows you around and helps you out in battle with its little pincers.
04:03 Utterly brilliant.
04:04 7.
04:05 Alien Suit - Dead or Alive How can I make a list about odd video game
04:10 skins and not include this absolute assault on the eyes and utter fashion crime that is
04:15 Zack's alternate outfit in the Dead or Alive series?
04:18 I simply couldn't, and so here it is, in all its shiny and wiggly glory.
04:22 Now, we're all aware that Zack is a bit of a character, with an overabundance of sass
04:27 and a huge penchant for getting busty women to his island to play volleyball, which have
04:32 a nasty habit of exploding for some reason.
04:34 Yet while that explains the chrome, as it's louder than life, it doesn't explain the,
04:40 um, floppy extension that takes up residence on his forehead.
04:43 This is just totally weird, making him look like some sort of lost Teletubby character
04:47 who was axed because the kid started telling parents that a muscled man was trying to kick
04:50 the head off Poe and make Tinky Winky self-conscious.
04:54 The devs were clearly aware of this odd skins reception, and even included a little moment
04:58 where Zack's, um, member is sliced off in a later title.
05:02 It's a hilarious and utterly outlandish outfit, and I simply adore it.
05:06 Number 6.
05:07 Classic Max Payne - Max Payne 3
05:10 Now I know this next one is cheating a little, as you do have to pay a whopping 49 pence
05:15 for this skin, but for the cost of a Mars bar, I totally think it's worth sharing this
05:19 joy with you all today.
05:21 Now, if there's one thing you can say about the original Max Payne, it's that this was
05:25 one of the innovators of bullet time violence, and offered players a stark and sobering tale
05:30 of gritty revenge.
05:31 You could also say that the lead Max had a face that looked like a cat's anus.
05:35 As the game was much more focused on the action and slow motion stunt diving, it appears that
05:40 not as much love was given to Max's face, which became a hugely parodied moment across
05:44 the internet.
05:45 So much so that when Rockstar came to resurrect the series, they included this flat-faced,
05:50 squinty-eyed mug as a DLC skin, and trust me, you are never going to laugh as much as
05:55 you will watching the single player cutscenes play out with this ridiculous face delivering
05:59 the lines.
06:00 Especially when he smiles.
06:02 Ugh.
06:03 Brilliant.
06:04 5.
06:05 Panda Costume - Onimusha Warlords
06:07 Oh me, oh my, it's time to talk about a game that doesn't get nearly enough love in this
06:12 day and age, Onimusha Warlords.
06:14 This survival horror slash 'em up combined the over-the-top drama of the Resident Evil
06:18 series and borrowed its tank controls for good measure.
06:21 The big difference here, though, was that you were able to dish out as much punishment
06:25 as you took, making for tactical and often very tense sword fights.
06:29 However, let's say things got a bit too intense, that all these zombies and nasty
06:33 horrible ogres were starting to make your trousers leak.
06:36 Well, why not alleviate this fear by putting Samunuske, the main protagonist of the game,
06:40 inside a massive panda suit?
06:42 If that's not enough for you, then look at the little panda cub in his front pouch,
06:46 which claps along at all the violence you end up causing.
06:49 It's adorable and silly in equal measure, and to be honest, I found a new sense of purpose
06:53 with this costume, because now I wanted nothing more than to keep my little Tamago safe.
06:58 And yes, that's right, I named it, and I will cut you up if you make fun of me for
07:01 it.
07:02 Sorry about that.
07:03 Finally, as an even greater incentive to use the suit, you can hold L2, which makes him
07:08 Dom the Panda Head.
07:10 Excellent.
07:11 4.
07:12 Numerous Costumes - God of War Franchise
07:14 If there is one person who you do not want to be caught laughing at, it is Kratos, the
07:19 literal God of War from the aptly titled 'Angry Father' series of video games for the PlayStation.
07:25 And yet, for some reason, possibly to try and round out the character a little, the
07:28 devs have hidden a tonne of unlockable costumes in the God of War games.
07:33 Such amazing attire changes include Kratos cooking up a storm as a chef, donning a scaly
07:37 suit of armour as a massive fish, and even a potato.
07:41 Yeah, that one's probably the weirdest one, right?
07:43 Yet if you're looking for my personal favourite, then it has to be what is lovingly described
07:47 in the game as "Dairy Bastard", which sees the angriest bald man on the planet,
07:52 outside of myself when someone eats all the vitalites at work, slip into the utterly wonderful
07:56 guise of a cow.
07:58 And along with this comedic presentation gets the bonuses of infinite magic and double the
08:02 amount of orbs collected in the game.
08:04 True, you will end up doing half the damage as normal, but that just gives you more time
08:08 to marvel at the image of this man who's on a quest for vengeance, doing so as a cuddly
08:13 cow.
08:14 Very, very amusing.
08:15 3.
08:16 Cheerleader Outfit - Killer Instinct
08:19 Did someone order a sexy raptor?
08:21 No?
08:22 Anyone?
08:23 Well, OK, I've got one here regardless.
08:25 I honestly don't know what to say other than, at some point, someone who worked on
08:29 the Killer Instinct reboot of 2013 decided that Riptor, a genetically engineered dinosaur
08:34 made by a super shady corporation called Ultratech as a biological weapon, would look absolutely
08:39 spiffing in a cheerleader's outfit.
08:41 Now, don't get me wrong, go local sports team and all that, but this is such a sight
08:46 to behold that's almost baffling.
08:47 My only reasoning behind this outfit is that A) it could have been an extremely clever
08:51 approach to the mind game of combat, putting your opponent off with your pom-poms as it
08:56 were before slicing out their neck, and/or B) that this is the internet and it was just
09:01 made because people have some very, very strange sexual appetites.
09:04 2.
09:05 A Real Pair of Boxer Shorts - Clayfighter 63 1/3
09:10 So I know I bent my rules slightly earlier on in this list with the fudge-faced Max Payne
09:15 entry, but I'm going to do so again and invert the rule as this next entry details
09:19 an item of clothing that was unlocked by playing a game, but in real life.
09:24 Now attending gaming conventions and getting a hat or a t-shirt is pretty commonplace in
09:28 this day and age, but when was the last time you were offered a legit pair of boxer shorts
09:33 for competing in an event?
09:35 Well, that's exactly the promotion that was run for Clayfighter 63 1/3, an N64 game
09:39 that combined claymation and violence in a way that no one had seen or known they so
09:44 badly wanted before.
09:45 And look at these undercrackers.
09:46 I mean, these should be in an art museum, featuring a pristine white cotton base with
09:51 elasticated waist and tons of the roster all plastered over.
09:54 I mean, the game itself might have middled in the "it's kinda fun for about 30 minutes
09:59 with a mate" category, but these rare beauties?
10:01 Well, put it this way, I eBayed them to see if there were still any available.
10:05 That is how good I think they are.
10:07 1.
10:08 Paradise Mode - Ghost Squad The transition of light gun games from the
10:12 arcades to the home console was never really something that was truly capitalised on, outside
10:17 of the Wii getting very into them very late in the day.
10:20 And it's a shame as well, because many absolutely brilliant titles like Time Crisis and The
10:24 Lord Upon High that was point blank, have all now seemingly faded away.
10:29 However, in amongst all of these gems is another shiny example of the silly, and that is Ghost
10:34 Squad, a title that on paper seems about as run-of-the-mill as you can get, being a military
10:39 shooter tasking you and your highly trained team with taking out terrorists threatening
10:43 peace and freedom.
10:44 Sounds a bit boring, right?
10:45 Well, what if I told you that this game also includes a secret mode called Paradise Mode,
10:50 which turns the terrorists into bikini-clad women, and now your guns are turned into water
10:55 pistols?
10:56 That's something that I genuinely didn't see coming when I first booted up the game,
11:00 and to be honest I could have totally done without their pleasure moaning when you kill
11:04 them, but as it stands, for a bit of stupid fun, it's a bizarre and comedic feature
11:08 of a pretty well-made FPS title.
11:11 Plus it gives all of that melodramatic voice acting that your commander gives you that
11:14 much more of a ridiculous edge.
11:16 And there we go, those were 10 video game skins that you won't believe you can unlock.
11:21 I hope you enjoyed that, my friends.
11:22 It's just a bit of a silly list for me to try and brighten up your day with the Tesco
11:27 brand comedy entertainment that I provide.
11:29 Let me know down below what you thought about it, as well as any other entries you would
11:32 add to this list for a future one, because I might come back and do a commenters edition.
11:35 But before I go, I just have one more thing to say.
11:38 We talked a lot today about video game skins, and I hope that you are comfortable in yours.
11:44 It's quite common for people to put on a brave face when things aren't going their way, but
11:47 I just want to say to you that it is okay to ask for help if you need it.
11:51 I know it's a very difficult conversation to have with a few people, but opening that
11:55 dialogue might allow you to look at your problems in a different way, and who knows, that new
11:59 perspective and newfound energy might help you get there quicker.