NO HARD FEELINGS Funny Scenes (Jennifer Lawrence)
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00 (upbeat music)
00:02 (dogs barking)
00:06 - Hi, can I interest you in some unconditional love?
00:20 Looking for something to slobber on you?
00:22 - Can he help me?
00:23 - Well, he mostly works with the dogs.
00:26 I deal with the people.
00:28 - You have a weird energy.
00:30 - Don't worry, I've been neutered.
00:32 - I want him.
00:33 - Percy, can you help this lady?
00:36 - Mind if I touch your wiener?
00:43 - What?
00:44 - Your dog.
00:45 - Oh, yeah.
00:47 How can I help you?
00:51 - I want to adopt a dog.
00:53 - Oh, yeah.
00:56 Um, great.
00:58 - It's a cool cartoon.
01:03 - It's anime.
01:04 - Yeah, animated, that's what I said.
01:06 Um, excuse me, I need your help.
01:09 - Oh, sorry, sorry.
01:10 Okay, what kind of dog are you looking to adopt?
01:12 - Well, I wish I could adopt them all.
01:14 Which is the most (beep) up?
01:16 - Um, the most messed up is Milo.
01:20 This is Milo.
01:21 He's been here the longest.
01:26 He was a drug dog for the state police,
01:27 but they forced him into retirement
01:29 because he got addicted to C-O-C-A-I-N-E.
01:32 - Cocaine?
01:33 (dog barking)
01:34 - Oh, no, Milo!
01:35 Milo, Milo!
01:36 If he hears the word, he gets triggered.
01:39 - Sorry, Milo, I'm fresh out.
01:41 - It's okay, it's okay.
01:44 I'm gonna have to ask you a couple questions
01:46 just to make sure you're a suitable candidate.
01:48 It has to do with everyone and the rules.
01:51 - Oh, a little rule follower, huh?
01:53 - Yeah, they're super important.
01:55 - So is there like an office or somewhere private?
01:58 - An office.
02:00 Come right this way.
02:01 - Great.
02:02 - Maddie Barker.
02:05 - I feel so far from you.
02:08 - That's your car?
02:12 - It is for tonight.
02:13 - Actually, you know what?
02:18 This sucks, but I just remembered I rode my bike here,
02:20 so this is what, I'll go on this.
02:24 - Well, that's okay.
02:26 (door creaking)
02:27 - Why don't you just throw it in the back?
02:29 You can ride up front with me.
02:31 Oh, come on, I won't bite.
02:37 Unless you want me to.
02:40 - Okay, but no biting.
02:46 ♪ Jumping, stomping ♪
02:49 - Ow!
02:50 I mean, yeah, whatever,
02:51 I've been with girls a couple times.
02:53 - Where's the rest of my seatbelt?
02:54 - It's a lap belt.
02:56 Just pretend you're on an airplane.
02:57 I'll be your flight attendant.
02:58 - Why is the flight attendant flying the plane?
03:01 - Because I've killed the pilot and taken over the plane.
03:03 You're my hostage.
03:05 (swooshing)
03:07 (upbeat music)
03:14 - This isn't the way to my house.
03:17 - It's a shortcut.
03:18 ♪ Let's miss now ♪
03:23 ♪ Said it ain't no joke ♪
03:26 ♪ It's a conscious failure ♪
03:28 ♪ Just do the stroke ♪
03:32 ♪ Don't you take no chances ♪
03:34 - Give me that.
03:35 - What are you doing?
03:36 - Our generation on our phones, huh?
03:38 Home.
03:43 ♪ Jumping, stomping ♪
03:44 ♪ Ow, ow ♪
03:46 ♪ Stroking, stomping ♪
03:49 ♪ Ow, ow ♪
03:50 - Ooh, what you got down there?
03:52 - Something for me?
03:53 (screaming)
03:56 (upbeat music)
03:58 (screaming)
04:07 - Why?
04:11 - You tried kidnapping me!
04:13 - I can't kidnap you, you're 19, grow up.
04:16 - You put me in a van and you took my phone.
04:18 - If I were kidnapping you,
04:19 would I give you all my personal information first?
04:23 Why couldn't you have used your (beep) whistle?
04:25 - Why would I have a (beep) whistle?
04:26 - Why are you a (beep) mace?
04:28 Sorry, will you get the hose, please?
04:32 - It's broken.
04:39 - Is the water on?
04:40 - You have to turn the water on?
04:41 - Are you (beep) with me?
04:43 - I just thought maybe it was our day.
04:44 - The spigot, the spigot!
04:45 - Okay.
04:46 Oh.
04:50 (screaming)
04:52 - Stop spraying me with things!
04:55 - I'm sorry, I'm trying to help!
04:56 - I'm sorry.
04:57 I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
05:01 I'm sorry.
05:04 I'm so sorry, I just didn't know what you were trying to do.
05:07 - I just thought you were hot.
05:08 - You think I'm hot?
05:09 - Yeah, I think you're super hot.
05:12 - Maybe we should go on a date then?
05:16 - I'll go throw another dress on.
05:19 - Oh no, I didn't mean now, I meant tomorrow.
05:22 A real date.
05:24 - Oh.
05:25 Yeah, that's better.
05:28 - Okay, tomorrow then.
05:29 Thank you for the ride.
05:36 Bye.
05:40 - Yeah, I knew you were drinking a lot.
05:47 - No, I wasn't.
05:49 God, I love the beach.
05:51 I just feel so free out here, don't you?
05:53 - Yeah.
05:56 I think it's closed though.
05:57 Oh, it's after eight, so we could come back
06:01 during operating hours.
06:03 - Got the whole place to ourselves?
06:04 - Lots of red flags.
06:06 - Let's go swimming.
06:07 - Well, there's no lifeguards.
06:09 - Perfect, we can go skinny dipping.
06:11 - Oh, no swimming.
06:14 - We tried.
06:17 - You know, those rules are more like just suggestions.
06:20 Come on, let's get you out of these Daisy Dukes.
06:23 - (laughs) Maddie, I'm...
06:25 - I'm ugly to you.
06:29 I knew it, I knew it.
06:31 - What?
06:32 No.
06:34 No.
06:36 - Seems like it.
06:37 - No, I...
06:38 I think you're the prettiest person I've ever seen.
06:43 - Really?
06:46 Pretty where?
06:47 Pretty here?
06:53 Pretty here?
06:59 - What about sharks?
07:08 - Been here.
07:09 - Jellyfish?
07:12 - Not in season.
07:13 - It's really the lack of lifeguards
07:14 that's causing an issue for me.
07:15 I'm very concerned.
07:16 - Just get the (beep) in here right now.
07:17 - Okay, okay, okay, okay.
07:19 - Come on, I promise nothing's gonna happen.
07:22 - Isn't this how Jaws started?
07:27 I'm going to dress you.
07:33 (water splashing)
07:36 See, it's not so bad.
07:47 - Fucker!
07:54 Fucker in the spot!
07:57 - What are you doing?
07:58 - I don't know.
07:59 Hello!
08:00 - Hey, what you up to over there?
08:03 - Just doing our taxes.
08:06 - These yours?
08:06 - Yeah, no need to fold 'em.
08:09 - Take her clothes, take her clothes.
08:11 Take her fucking clothes.
08:12 - They're taking our clothes.
08:13 - Hey, put that back!
08:15 - Suck my balls!
08:17 - I'm warning you!
08:20 - Bye, sea bitch!
08:23 - You said nothing bad, we're happy.
08:24 We need to find an adult.
08:25 - Percy, you're an adult!
08:27 - Where are you going?
08:28 (upbeat music)
08:31 (upbeat music)
08:34 (upbeat music)
08:36 (upbeat music)
08:39 (upbeat music)
08:41 (upbeat music)