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00:00 [music]
00:07 [music]
00:09 [music]
00:14 [music]
00:22 [music]
00:26 Come on! You have to go outside to do your... business.
00:31 The experts say that if you want an animal to do something, you should do it yourself first to show him how.
00:37 I'm not going to the bathroom in the backyard.
00:40 Sorry, your majesty.
00:43 Why don't you want to go out there?
00:46 Ugh! The kids are supposed to be keeping this yard clean.
00:51 [crackling]
00:54 [screaming]
00:56 Ned, I'm so sorry!
00:58 Oh, no problem, Marge.
01:00 [crackling]
01:01 Turn on the TV, Elise.
01:03 You turn it on. I turned it on yesterday.
01:06 Allowance day. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
01:08 You don't deserve an allowance.
01:10 Sure we do. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
01:13 Ice cream man! Ice cream man!
01:15 That backyard is a disgrace. Now get busy.
01:18 That's a good suggestion, mom.
01:20 We'll take it under advisement.
01:22 But I can't go out dressed like this.
01:25 What if someone sees me?
01:26 You're just going into our backyard. No one will see you.
01:29 Ha!
01:32 [thud]
01:33 Hmph!
01:34 Ha!
01:35 [music]
01:38 Man, look at all this stuff.
01:40 Poor weeds, mow lawn, scooping bag dog business.
01:45 There's got to be a way out of this.
01:47 Lisa, chop off my hands.
01:49 No. Then who'd chop off my hands?
01:52 All right, you chop my hands halfway off,
01:54 and then I'll still have enough strength to chop--
01:56 Get to work!
01:58 Kids, I made some lemonade for you.
02:00 Sounds great.
02:01 Bring it in here.
02:03 What the?
02:05 What are you doing inside?
02:07 Work was hard, so we quit.
02:09 What?
02:10 Hard work made us quit.
02:12 I see.
02:13 Well, then, no chores, no allowance.
02:17 Okay, we get our room and board free anyway.
02:20 And Santa Claus provides the rest.
02:22 [grunt]
02:23 [music]
02:27 [gasp]
02:29 The carnival!
02:31 We need money fast.
02:33 Well, well, well.
02:35 Looks like somebody's going to have to do some yard.
02:38 It's carnival time.
02:39 Here's money, kids.
02:40 Take what you need.
02:41 All right, free money.
02:43 Ding, ding, ding, ding.
02:45 [music]
02:51 I want to see Lobster Boy and Shrimp Girl.
02:53 I want some fried sugar.
02:55 I want to go on the yard work simulator.
02:57 But when did they ask you to do yard work?
03:00 Hmm.
03:02 Wow, the tooth chipper.
03:05 [screaming]
03:07 Ow!
03:09 [whimpering]
03:10 [screaming]
03:13 Ow!
03:15 Who, who, me first.
03:17 You can't go on that.
03:18 You have a heart condition.
03:19 Heart condition?
03:20 Get out of here.
03:22 You had a quadruple bypass.
03:23 You nearly died.
03:24 Don't you remember?
03:25 Obviously, I don't.
03:27 Not if you'll get out of my way.
03:28 But it doesn't look safe.
03:30 And the guy running it looks a little seedy.
03:32 No offense.
03:33 None taken.
03:34 He's not just some guy, Marge.
03:36 He's a carny.
03:38 And part of a noble tradition.
03:40 Carnies built this country.
03:42 The carnival part of it, anyway.
03:44 And though they may be rat-like in appearance,
03:46 they are truly kings among men.
03:49 Okay, let's go, fatty.
03:51 Yes, sir.
03:52 [screaming]
03:58 Ow!
04:00 Ow, my heart!
04:02 [groaning]
04:03 Fear.
04:06 Fear in the pit of your stomach.
04:09 No surgeon can save you.
04:11 No bromo can soothe you.
04:13 Do you dare enter the Screamatorium
04:16 of Dr. Frightmare Stein?
04:19 Only two tickets left.
04:21 Two tickets?
04:22 Whoa, what a break.
04:23 [screaming]
04:26 This isn't very scary.
04:33 I haunt your blood.
04:36 Um, I think that one's broken.
04:40 [screaming]
04:41 That was just confusing.
04:43 Behold, the ravagers of age.
04:47 Boo! Exit to your left.
04:53 Sorry.
04:57 And they're off!
04:59 [all shouting]
05:01 Why does this always happen when I stand here?
05:07 What is it about this exact spot?
05:10 [groaning]
05:12 It's happening again.
05:14 Three rings for a dollar.
05:18 Who's ready? Who's ready?
05:21 See any pigeons yet, Dad?
05:23 [humming]
05:26 How about you, Lucky?
05:34 Who, me?
05:36 You want your dad to win you a TV?
05:39 Quit dabbing before somebody else wins it.
05:41 Ooh, almost.
05:46 Rats, too hard.
05:48 That was close.
05:49 What a scam.
05:50 Sorry, son. Daddy failed.
05:53 Listen, pal, I got a son of my own.
05:56 Here.
05:57 A novelty comb.
06:01 Kings among men.
06:04 You're looking at Adolf Hitler's personal limousine.
06:07 It's roomier than Bonnie and Clyde's death car
06:10 and was the first automobile to come with Farfignugin.
06:14 [all gasping]
06:16 Wow, it's furorific.
06:18 There are some who say Hitler's skeleton is in the trunk.
06:22 Others say just a spare tire.
06:25 I'm a busy man, so I haven't checked yet.
06:28 Hmm, one of these must activate the flamethrower.
06:33 Uh-oh.
06:34 [all gasping]
06:35 Boat!
06:36 What in the name of high school football?
06:39 [all shouting]
06:42 Out of my way, I'm Hitler!
06:45 Oh, man, that hurts!
06:49 Oh, I can't stand it!
06:51 [all shouting]
06:52 You are in grave danger!
06:55 [all shouting]
06:57 [all shouting]
06:59 [all shouting]
07:02 You wrecked Hitler's car!
07:04 What did he ever do to you?
07:06 [all grunt]
07:08 Why, you just damaged the main attraction of my carnival, son.
07:16 Hey, I thought I was your main attraction.
07:19 But I am.
07:21 Oh, you are, Humphrey, you are.
07:23 Hey, he's getting away.
07:25 Not so fast, partner.
07:27 You owe me some money.
07:29 Hey, come on. He doesn't have any money.
07:32 Look at his clothes.
07:34 Hmm, well, I still can't let him off the hook.
07:38 You're gonna work off your debt right here.
07:40 At the carnival? Cool.
07:42 Hey, that's not fair. I want to be a carny, too.
07:44 Can I, Mr. Hunk, can I, please?
07:46 I don't know.
07:48 You gonna get drunk and start a lot of trouble?
07:50 Sure, anything you want.
07:52 Hmm, all right.
07:54 See you tomorrow, 6 a.m.
07:56 And you're gonna work like you've never worked before.
07:59 Whoo-hoo!
08:01 We just saw the most amazing camel.
08:04 It was wearing a hat.
08:06 [groans]
08:19 [snoring]
08:21 Son, if you don't finish your cotton candy,
08:34 you won't get your snow cone.
08:36 Ah, heck.
08:38 Hey, you lost your money fair and square.
08:41 I didn't scam nobody.
08:43 Oh, put down your stick. We're here to work.
08:46 Starting today, we're carnies, just like you.
08:49 Well, in that case, let me show you how I scammed you.
08:52 Have a seat.
08:54 Spud, throw a couple more apples in the caramel.
08:56 [groans]
09:00 Don't worry. That's just to scare off thieves.
09:02 Hmm.
09:05 Yeah, he's telling the truth.
09:09 Thanks for the food, mister.
09:11 Name's Cooter. This is my boy, Spud.
09:14 And there's no need to thank us.
09:16 We carnival folks look out for each other.
09:18 That's the carnie code.
09:20 Did you hear that, Bart?
09:22 The carnie code.
09:24 Bart, did you hear that? Yes.
09:26 Ah, there you are.
09:28 Are you two ready to work? Yes, sir.
09:30 So what's our first job, huh? Test the roller coaster?
09:33 Fry up some cheese? Hose down the freaks?
09:35 Uh, yeah, something like that, yeah.
09:38 Oh, this isn't fun.
09:42 If you didn't go to the bathroom so much,
09:44 you wouldn't be so small.
09:46 Oh.
09:48 Please, folks, hold your fire.
09:50 The water level is dangerously low.
09:53 Ow! Ow!
09:55 Ow! Ow! My leg!
09:58 All right, now this geek bit is pretty straightforward.
10:03 You just bite the heads off the chickens and take a bow.
10:06 [screams]
10:08 Go on, give it a try.
10:10 And remember, big smiles.
10:12 Uh, Bart?
10:14 Yeah, Dad?
10:16 Do I like chicken?
10:18 Does it matter? I guess not.
10:20 [gags]
10:22 Hey, boss, me and Spud got to duck out for our A.A. meeting.
10:25 We need someone to cover for us.
10:27 [groans] Okay.
10:29 Simpson, you and your boy will be taking over the ring toss.
10:33 Dad, we're saved!
10:35 Mmm, well, buddy,
10:37 you're the luckiest chicken in the world.
10:40 [screams]
10:42 You see, the trick here is the rings won't fit over the good prizes.
10:46 Well, we'll see about that.
10:48 Give me ten rings.
10:50 So, anyway, um,
10:52 the main thing is to bring in the rubes.
10:54 Do whatever it takes.
10:56 Sweet talk, insults,
10:58 slang from the '30s that no one uses anymore.
11:00 Like rubes?
11:02 Now you're on the trolley.
11:04 We got a get. Here's the money box.
11:06 Any questions? Uh, yes.
11:08 How do we handle refunds?
11:10 I'm gonna give this to you.
11:12 Good move. Give me ten rings.
11:14 Lookie, lookie, hey, hey, waka, waka,
11:16 I got rings and you want 'em.
11:18 Win a genuine Ronax watch,
11:20 just like a real movie star.
11:22 Hey, there's a sucker.
11:24 Oh, come on, Dad. Get on the trolley.
11:29 Hey, high pockets, win something for your girlfriend?
11:34 Oh, yeah.
11:36 Oh.
11:38 Seymour, I want that lamp.
11:40 Win that lamp for me, Seymour.
11:42 All right, Simpson, be honest with me.
11:44 Is it actually possible to win this game?
11:46 If I like it, it is.
11:48 Hot dog, let's go.
11:50 No, throw it over the peg.
11:54 Well, that's no good.
11:56 Oh, no. Are you blind?
11:58 I'm trying, Mother. It's hard.
12:00 You're failing, Seymour.
12:02 What is it about you and failure?
12:04 We're natural-born carnies, Dad.
12:12 Only we weren't tied down with a family.
12:15 Yeah, we could start our own game,
12:17 where people throw ducks at balloons
12:19 and nothing's the way it seems.
12:22 I hate to interrupt your fun, boys,
12:24 but I got a few complaints
12:26 that your game was crooked.
12:28 And how.
12:30 Gee, I hate to close you down.
12:32 Maybe we can reach a little, uh, understanding here.
12:36 I understand.
12:38 Um, hey, Dad, I-I think he wants--
12:41 Not right now, son.
12:43 Daddy's talking to a policeman.
12:45 Uh, let me put it this way.
12:47 I'm looking for my friend Bill.
12:49 Have you seen any Bills around here?
12:52 No.
12:54 He's barred.
12:56 Ah!
12:58 Uh, listen carefully,
13:00 and watch me wink as I speak, okay?
13:03 Okay.
13:05 The guy I'm really looking for-- wink--
13:08 is Mr. Bribe, wink, wink.
13:11 It's a ring-toss game.
13:15 That's it. I'm shutting this game down.
13:18 Well, ain't that something.
13:22 Our game, our home.
13:24 What happened here?
13:26 Cops took it.
13:28 What? Why didn't you bribe 'em?
13:31 I was trying to,
13:33 but the opportunity never came up.
13:35 Oh, good Lord.
13:37 Our whole life was in that trailer.
13:40 What are we gonna do now?
13:42 Can't you stay in the Whack-A-Mole game?
13:45 Nah. Fantastic Dan lives there.
13:47 Did you call me, spud?
13:49 Look at him, Bart.
13:51 If a carny can wind up homeless,
13:53 it can happen to anyone.
13:55 I'm going for a corn dog. You want one?
13:57 Yes, but first there's a little matter of the carny code.
14:01 Coder, spud, get off that hog.
14:04 You're coming to stay at our house.
14:06 Why did you shatter just now, Mom?
14:10 I don't know.
14:12 You certainly have a nice house here, ma'am.
14:17 It must have taken you years to win all this stuff.
14:20 Let me get you a coaster for those feet.
14:23 Hey, check this out.
14:26 I can unhinge all my joints at once.
14:28 Doing anything tonight, blue eyes?
14:37 Ew.
14:39 How long are those roustabouts going to be staying here?
14:41 Oh, it won't be long.
14:43 Once their resume gets out, they'll have all kinds of offers.
14:46 The older one can pull out his left eye.
14:49 ( gasps )
14:51 A little help?
14:53 Here's a little trick my grandmother taught me.
14:57 ( gasping )
14:59 ( gasping )
15:02 ( laughing )
15:04 ( grunting )
15:06 No.
15:08 ( laughing )
15:09 Wow, can you do that again?
15:11 Not for a little while.
15:13 So, Mr. Coder,
15:15 how long have you been in the traveling amusement industry?
15:18 Oh, hell, the Cooders have been carnies
15:21 ever since we came here in 1620,
15:23 clanging to the side of the Mayflower.
15:25 ( grunting )
15:27 Thanks for dinner, Mom. I love you.
15:29 Aw, aren't you sweet?
15:31 Hey, my pearls!
15:33 ( laughing )
15:34 Spud taught me that.
15:35 Good one, Spud.
15:37 Well, sure is awful kind of you
15:39 to take us into your beautiful home here.
15:41 Just wish we had some way to repay you.
15:43 ( whispering )
15:45 Yeah, good thinkin', Spudford.
15:48 Uh, you folks ever been on a glass-bottom boat ride?
15:52 'Cause we just happened to have some tickets.
15:54 Whoa, what a nice surprise.
15:56 This is so generous of you, Coder.
15:59 Now who's the filthy sleazebag, huh, Marge?
16:02 ( laughing )
16:04 The undersea world certainly is full of wonders.
16:10 ( all talking at once )
16:14 That's our sister ship, the Athena.
16:17 Went down with 88 souls just last week.
16:21 I wonder how that happened.
16:23 Hey, come on, Sharky!
16:25 Hey, want a piece of this?
16:27 You call yourself the king of the jungle?
16:29 That was fun.
16:33 I wish we had a glass-bottom car.
16:35 I can't help but wonder what we're missing.
16:38 I was wrong about the Coders, Dad.
16:43 They're the nicest of all the transients
16:45 you've ever brought home.
16:47 ( all agreeing )
16:49 That's weird. The key doesn't fit.
16:52 Hey, someone's boarded up our windows.
16:54 Check the cell.
16:56 What's going on?
16:58 Coder!
17:00 What have you done to our house?
17:02 It's ours now.
17:04 Tell us where the extra sheets are and get off our property.
17:07 They're squatting in our house.
17:10 You can't do this to me.
17:13 What about the Kearney Code?
17:15 ( all laughing )
17:17 Kearney took over our house.
17:27 You've got to help us.
17:29 Well, well, look who's here. Mr. No-Bribe.
17:32 Sure, we'll help you.
17:34 Just sit down and wait for Detective like I give a damn.
17:37 Thank you so much.
17:39 Dad.
17:41 Honey, Daddy's waiting for the Detective.
17:43 I found some food for breakfast.
17:47 I hope everyone likes the red things that grow on this tree.
17:51 Sparge, you're brushing your teeth with my twig.
17:54 So I'll let you use my leaves.
17:57 Listen to him.
17:59 Watching my television, sitting on my couch.
18:02 You better not be in my ass groove.
18:04 Homer!
18:06 It took me years to forge that groove.
18:09 ( music playing )
18:11 One of them's playing my saxophone.
18:14 Oh, no, the spit valve!
18:17 Release the spit valve!
18:19 Over the sink! Over the sink!
18:23 Hey, look at me. I'm a millionaire.
18:27 Wow, Dad, you look like James Bond.
18:30 ( chuckles )
18:32 Hey, it's getting cold in here.
18:34 I found some photo albums on the floor.
18:36 Which one? Precious moments or treasured memories?
18:40 Quit your yapping. I'm freezing.
18:42 Good morning, everybody.
18:48 ( grunting )
18:51 ( all gasping )
18:53 Stupid gravity.
18:55 We can't just give up our--
18:58 There's got to be a way to get those guys out of there.
19:02 Set fire to the house. Kill them that way.
19:04 We don't want to kill them, Bart.
19:06 We just want our home back.
19:09 Well, if we did set fire to the house--
19:12 No fires!
19:14 I got it!
19:15 No fires!
19:17 There must be a way to outsmart them.
19:20 You can't outsmart carnival folk.
19:22 They're the cleverest folk in the world.
19:24 Just look at the way they sucker regular folk
19:26 with those crooked games.
19:29 That's it!
19:31 Fire!
19:33 Or...
19:35 ( knocking )
19:36 Cooter residence.
19:37 I got a proposition for you, Cooter.
19:39 Yeah, I'm listening.
19:41 One game of ring toss.
19:43 If I can throw this hula hoop onto the chimney,
19:46 you'll give us our house back.
19:48 If I miss, I'll sign the deed over to you.
19:52 Oh, no!
19:53 You'll never make it, Dad.
19:55 So we don't own the house legit?
20:00 That's right.
20:01 Deal.
20:03 Oh, I can't watch.
20:12 ( grunting )
20:20 ( groaning )
20:28 ( grunting )
20:30 No!
20:33 What the--
20:35 ( laughing )
20:37 Hey, they just ran into the house.
20:42 That Homer fella grifted you good, Dad.
20:45 Well, there's no shame in being beaten by the best.
20:48 But he didn't seem all that--
20:50 We were beaten by the best, boy.
20:53 I'm so proud of you, Homer.
20:55 You got our house back.
20:57 Way to go, Dad.
20:59 You actually outwitted someone.
21:01 I guess your old man is smarter than you thought.
21:04 And look at him standing out there.
21:07 No place to go.
21:09 ( chuckles )
21:10 Poor guys.
21:12 Hey, what if we let him stay here for just a few days?
21:15 Mom, get him away from the window.
21:18 Homer?
21:20 My groove!
21:22 Oh, they mushed it all out of shape.
21:25 All right.
21:27 Better put on a pot of coffee, Marge.
21:29 This could take a while.
21:31 ( grunting )
21:33 ♪ Oh, suck it, suck it ♪
21:35 ♪ Hey! ♪
21:37 ♪ Come on, now ♪
21:39 ♪ Hey! ♪
21:41 ♪ Groove me, baby ♪
21:43 ♪ I need you ♪
21:45 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪
21:47 ♪ Now, darling ♪
21:49 ♪ Now, just a little more ♪
21:52 ♪ A little more to the left, baby ♪
21:54 ♪ To the left, left, left, left ♪
21:56 ♪ I need you to listen ♪
21:58 ♪ Almost there ♪
22:00 ♪ Oh, suck it to me, mama ♪
22:02 ♪ Uh! ♪
22:04 ♪ Oh, I like it like that, baby ♪
22:07 ♪ Uh! ♪
22:08 ♪ Groove me, baby ♪
22:10 ♪ Hey! ♪
22:11 ♪ Uh! ♪
22:12 ♪ Groove me, darling ♪
22:14 ♪ Come on, come on ♪
22:16 ♪ I need you to suck it to me, mama ♪
22:19 ♪ Come on and now ♪
22:21 ♪ Groove me, baby ♪
22:23 ♪ Hey! ♪
22:25 ♪ Uh! ♪
22:27 ♪ Good God, it make me feel so good inside, mama ♪
22:31 Shh!
22:37 ♪ ♪
22:39 (upbeat music)
22:41 (upbeat music)