No Hard Feelings | Maddie Meets Percy’s Helicopter Parents | Love Love
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🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00 Any trouble finding the place?
00:01 No.
00:02 No.
00:03 Found it.
00:04 Oh, well, welcome to our home.
00:07 I'm Allison, and this is my husband, Laird.
00:10 Laird?
00:11 Like lasagna?
00:12 Lasagna?
00:13 No.
00:14 Laird.
00:15 Laird.
00:16 Laird.
00:17 Am I saying that right?
00:18 Yeah, one syllable.
00:19 Laird.
00:20 OK.
00:21 Just call me Laird.
00:23 I can't.
00:24 So should I come up, or do you want to come down here?
00:26 No.
00:27 You.
00:28 You.
00:29 Come on up.
00:30 I just want you to know, we have the utmost respect for sex workers.
00:48 I'm, uh, not a sex worker.
00:51 Not that there's anything wrong with that.
00:53 I don't know.
00:54 So, Maddy, tell us about yourself.
00:59 Where are you from?
01:00 Here, actually.
01:01 Wow, a local.
01:02 I'm jealous.
01:03 You get to live in paradise all year long.
01:06 I meant to ask this on the phone.
01:08 But how old are you?
01:10 Well, I know you were looking for someone early to mid-twenties.
01:16 I'm slightly older.
01:18 Right.
01:19 How old?
01:20 I just turned 29.
01:21 Recently?
01:22 Last year.
01:23 And how old are you, like, right now?
01:26 One more year older.
01:27 So, 30.
01:28 Yeah.
01:29 32.
01:30 May I be frank?
01:35 I'm assuming that I'm here because you haven't found anyone yet.
01:40 And the reason you haven't found anyone yet is because young girls are idiots.
01:45 It's not their fault.
01:46 They're young.
01:47 But this is your son we're talking about.
01:50 What you need is someone who looks like a peer, but has the maturity to be able to handle this with the tact and sensitivity the situation requires.
02:01 She's good.
02:03 Good.
02:04 Good answer.
02:05 Mm-hmm.
02:06 We've just been so worried about our son.
02:08 Percy is so loving and he's so sensitive and he's extremely bright.
02:15 Yeah, he's going to Princeton next year.
02:17 Oh, I've heard of it.
02:19 He's an amazing musician, but he won't play for anyone.
02:22 He's just having a lot of trouble socially.
02:25 You know, and as a mother, that's just been really hard to watch these past four years.
02:29 He's always on his phone.
02:31 He doesn't come out of his room.
02:32 He doesn't have any friends.
02:34 He doesn't talk to girls.
02:35 He doesn't drink.
02:36 He doesn't go to parties.
02:38 He doesn't drive.
02:39 Doesn't do anything that I did.
02:42 We can't send him to college like that.
02:44 You know, he'd never make it.
02:46 Well, that's why you called a professional.
02:48 Not a professional, just a girl who needs a car.
02:52 Yeah.
02:53 We didn't come by this easily.
02:56 You know, we tried everything to bring him out of his shell.
02:59 We're at the end of our rope.
03:01 I was shy when I was Percy's age, but I dated this girl right before I went to college.
03:06 And she really opened me up sexually.
03:08 Okay.
03:09 Barbara.
03:10 Mm-mm.
03:11 Anyway, by the time I got to college, I was out of my shell and thriving.
03:15 Yeah, and that's what we want for Percy.
03:17 Is this him?
03:18 Yes.
03:19 Wow, he's adorable.
03:24 Isn't he?
03:25 Mm-hmm.
03:26 So, how does this work?
03:29 The, uh, fire system or?
03:32 That and we know his passcode.
03:34 Mm-hmm.
03:35 And he's not gay?
03:37 No, we've seen his internet history.
03:39 Yeah, the porn is graphic, but not gay.
03:42 A little gay.
03:43 Large groups of people.
03:45 Mm.
03:46 Not to look a gift horse in the mouth, but does it have to be a Buick?
03:51 It's just what Dad drove.
03:53 Mm.
03:54 Okay, then why don't you date Percy and the Buick is yours.
03:58 And don't just date him, you know?
04:00 Get to know him, 'cause he's a really good kid.
04:02 So, when you say "date him," do you mean date him or date him?
04:08 Yes.
04:09 Yeah, that's correct.
04:11 Date him.
04:12 Date him hard.
04:13 Okay.
04:14 I'll date his brains out.
04:16 So, is he in his room?
04:17 Should I jump out and surprise him?
04:19 No, no, no, no, no.
04:20 He's not here.
04:21 He can't know about this.
04:22 Nobody can know about this.
04:23 No, nobody can know about this.
04:26 Also, it would devastate him, which would kind of defeat the purpose of building up his confidence.
04:31 Right, right.
04:32 He volunteers at the animal shelter from ten to six,
04:35 and we thought maybe you could go and just act like you want to adopt a dog.
04:39 And I don't see this happening, but if Percy dates somebody the organic way--
04:45 Got it. Better get to work.
04:47 Yeah.
04:48 [End of Audio]
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