Oscar -American Movie- Comedy Crime

Movie Time

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Transcript

00:00:00 (engine rumbling)

00:00:02 (water rushing)

00:00:05 (engine rumbling)

00:00:08 (engine rumbling)

00:00:11 (engine rumbling)

00:00:14 (engine rumbling)

00:00:22 (engine rumbling)

00:00:28 (engine rumbling)

00:00:31 (thunder crashing)

00:00:53 (engine rumbling)

00:00:56 (door buzzing)

00:01:22 - I knew you would come.

00:01:23 He's been calling for you, Angelo.

00:01:30 - I came as soon as I could, Aunt Rose.

00:01:35 How is he?

00:01:37 - You came just in time.

00:01:38 (water running)

00:01:41 - It's all in God's hands now.

00:01:54 - Eduardo, Angelo is here.

00:01:59 - Papa, it's Angelo.

00:02:07 - My son.

00:02:08 - Papa, is there anything I can do for you?

00:02:13 - Come closer.

00:02:15 Close.

00:02:20 You bum.

00:02:22 Mascarone.

00:02:23 - Papa, what have I done?

00:02:26 - Gangster, you robber, you steal, you shoot people.

00:02:30 You bring shame in the family.

00:02:34 And the shame...

00:02:36 I'm sorry, Papa.

00:02:37 What can I do to make peace with you?

00:02:41 - Oh, now you wanna make a peace with you, Papa.

00:02:45 You wanted me die happy.

00:02:49 - 'Course I do, Papa.

00:02:51 - Now you want me to die.

00:02:56 (gun firing)

00:02:56 Papa, no.

00:02:57 - Angelo.

00:02:58 - Angelo.

00:03:00 Make me one promise.

00:03:03 - You'll name it, anything, it's done.

00:03:05 - I swear in front of your family,

00:03:10 in front of Pablo Clemente, in front of Jesus Christo,

00:03:13 in front of Madonna.

00:03:15 - What?

00:03:16 - I swear.

00:03:16 You become honest man.

00:03:19 Give up this shameful life.

00:03:21 - Well, Papa.

00:03:24 - Papa, have any...

00:03:26 (coughing)

00:03:27 - Yes, yes, I'm here, Eduardo.

00:03:28 - Get it, Quint.

00:03:29 (coughing)

00:03:31 - Promise?

00:03:33 (coughing)

00:03:35 All right, Papa.

00:03:38 If that's what you want, I'll go straight.

00:03:41 I promise.

00:03:44 Now, I'm ready.

00:03:53 (water trickling)

00:03:56 (gun firing)

00:04:10 - That's a show you won't forget.

00:04:14 (water trickling)

00:04:17 (water trickling)

00:04:20 (dramatic music)

00:04:23, (gun firing)

00:04:28 (dramatic music)

00:04:30 (dramatic music)

00:04:33 (dramatic music)

00:04:36, (gun firing)

00:04:41 (dramatic music)

00:04:44 (gun firing)

00:04:53 (soft music)

00:04:56 (upbeat music)

00:05:07 - Read 'em and weep.

00:05:10 (upbeat music)

00:05:12 - Pull out.

00:05:14 - Jesus, I thought you was bluffing.

00:05:17 - Lower that.

00:05:18 You'll wake the boss.

00:05:20 All right, yous mugs.

00:05:24 Casino's closed.

00:05:25 Ace, get started on those melon balls.

00:05:29 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:05:30 - Shake a leg.

00:05:32 Today's the boss's big day.

00:05:34 Remember?

00:05:35 - Yeah.

00:05:36 The day Snaps Brevillone goes straight.

00:05:38 (gun firing)

00:05:39 - The whole thing ain't kosher.

00:05:40 Whoever heard of a banker named Snaps?

00:05:42 Buying into a bank that's not Snaps.

00:05:45 It's gotta be a dodge.

00:05:47 - It's no dodge.

00:05:48 Those bankers will be here to cinch the deal at noon.

00:05:51 - Oh, jeez, I gotta check my muffins.

00:05:54 - You sure this info's the McCoy five spot?

00:05:56 - Oh, it's the McCoy, Mr. Vendetti.

00:05:59 And it's big.

00:06:01 And it's gonna happen today.

00:06:07 I knew it.

00:06:08 He's hooking up with O'Banion's mom.

00:06:10 - Hold still, honey.

00:06:12 - O'Banion?

00:06:13 That's gotta be it.

00:06:15 I'm pretty sure I heard that name.

00:06:18 (stammering)

00:06:20 - What is this, Stoolino?

00:06:21 - Look, I'm a paid informant.

00:06:23 That's an honorable profession.

00:06:26 Can I have my five spot now, Mr. Vendetti?

00:06:31 - Give him a 20.

00:06:34 It's a retainer.

00:06:38 Let me know if you hear anything.

00:06:39 (stammering)

00:06:42 - Thank you.

00:06:44 Thank you.

00:06:45 (stammering)

00:06:47 - I told you things were too quiet.

00:06:51 Provolone was just laying low.

00:06:53 So what are we gonna do about Snaps?

00:06:55 We're gonna observe the 11th Commandment.

00:06:57 Do unto others before they do unto you.

00:07:00 - I finished your nails.

00:07:02 Is there anything else I can do, huh?

00:07:06 (dramatic music)

00:07:09 - We'd have more excitement staking out Grant's tomb.

00:07:28 - Thank God this detail ends today.

00:07:30 - Oh, Toomey's sore as hell.

00:07:32 He's been aching to get something on Snaps for years.

00:07:34 - So he's sore.

00:07:35 What's he want from us?

00:07:37 I mean, the guy hasn't so much as spit on the sidewalk

00:07:38 in three weeks.

00:07:39 (phone ringing)

00:07:41 - Toomey.

00:07:42 I got it last time.

00:07:46 - Hiya, Toomey.

00:07:53 - I suppose you're gonna tell me

00:07:54 that you got nothing again on our boy across the street.

00:07:57 - So sue me, Toomey.

00:07:58 - Well, look alive over there.

00:08:01 I hear he may be tying up with the O'Banion mob

00:08:03 from Chicago.

00:08:05 (leaves rustling)

00:08:08 - Why don't you just give up the ghost, Toomey?

00:08:11 I mean, maybe the egg's gone straight.

00:08:13 - Look, I know this guy.

00:08:16 And I'm telling you, a leopard don't change his stripes.

00:08:19 - You mean spots.

00:08:20 - I mean Snaps.

00:08:21 Now as soon as something happens down there,

00:08:25 I don't care what, you call me.

00:08:28 Get it?

00:08:28 - Got it.

00:08:29 (car door slams)

00:08:32 - Say, take a gander.

00:08:37 (bells ringing)

00:08:42 - I'm coming, I'm coming.

00:08:44 (bells ringing)

00:08:47 - Well, well, well, if it isn't little Anthony.

00:08:52 And his Imperial.

00:08:55 - I've gotta see Mr. Provolone.

00:08:58 - What?

00:08:59 - Hey!

00:08:59 Shut that thing off!

00:09:02 - I said I gotta see Mr. Provolone right away.

00:09:09 - I don't remember seeing you in my appointment book, Anthony.

00:09:12 Nope, now I got the Fennucci brothers at 9.30,

00:09:17 Dr. Poole at 10.30, Father Clemente at 11,

00:09:20 and the bankers at noon.

00:09:21 But I don't see no meeting with his accountant.

00:09:23 - Look, Aldo, don't screw around with me.

00:09:26 This is urgent.

00:09:27 If the boss don't get up before 9.00 a.m.,

00:09:30 even the feds know that.

00:09:30 - I'll take the heat.

00:09:32 - You'll take the heat.

00:09:33 I'm the one that's gotta wake him.

00:09:34 - Tell him it's a matter of life and death.

00:09:36 - Okay, okay.

00:09:40 But he ain't gonna like this.

00:09:41 Wait in the living room.

00:09:45 How do you like that crust on that mug?

00:09:50 It throws off my whole itinerary.

00:09:52 (dramatic music)

00:09:55 (door creaking)

00:09:58 (laughing)

00:10:04 - Where do you think you're going?

00:10:05 - I gotta wake him.

00:10:06 - He doesn't wanna be disrupted.

00:10:08 He needs his beauty sleep for those bankers.

00:10:10 - It's urgent.

00:10:11 Keep me covered.

00:10:12 (dramatic music)

00:10:15 (door creaking)

00:10:18 - This better be good.

00:10:27 - I warned him, boss.

00:10:28 - Antony told me it was life and death, boss.

00:10:30 (dramatic music)

00:10:33 - You mugs stop calling me boss.

00:10:35 It ain't respectable.

00:10:36 - Sorry, boss.

00:10:37 (dramatic music)

00:10:44 - Well, little Antony,

00:10:45 probation and Wall Street lay another egg, what?

00:10:48 - Can I talk to you alone, Mr. Provolone?

00:10:50 - We are alone.

00:10:52 I'll do breakfast.

00:10:54 - Half a grapefruit.

00:10:55 - Section, next to cherry in the middle.

00:10:56 - French toast. - Light brown.

00:10:57 - Bacon. - Trim the fat.

00:10:58 - Coffee. - No cream.

00:10:59 - Two lumps. - Go.

00:11:00 - On its way, Snaps.

00:11:01 - Oh, it's Mr. Provolone now,

00:11:03 and if you call me that in front of the bankers,

00:11:04 you're gonna gum up the works.

00:11:05 - Yes, Mr. Provolone.

00:11:06 - And I'll eat in the yard.

00:11:08 I mean atrium.

00:11:09 - Yes, Mr. Provolone, whatever you say, Mr. Provolone.

00:11:13 - You know what atrium means, Antony?

00:11:16 - No, sir.

00:11:17 - It's a courtyard, oftentimes surrounded by columns.

00:11:22 - Thank you, sir.

00:11:23 I didn't know that, sir.

00:11:24 - Park it, Amy.

00:11:27 I learn a new word every day.

00:11:31 You should expand your vocabulary, Antony,

00:11:33 and you wouldn't just be a bookkeeper.

00:11:35 - Accountant, sir.

00:11:36 - My word for today is

00:11:42 expeditious.

00:11:43 To be efficient and speedy.

00:11:46 All right, Antony, let's be expeditious.

00:11:48 What's so important you got me up at eight?

00:11:50 - Well, Mr. Provolone, with all due respect,

00:11:54 I've come to ask you for a raise.

00:11:56 - Maybe my hearing ain't 20/20 no more.

00:12:00 What did he just ask me?

00:12:02 - He asked you for a raise.

00:12:04 - That's what I thought.

00:12:04 Are you crazy?

00:12:06 - When you hear why--

00:12:07 - You believe this guy's moxie?

00:12:08 - He's got a chutzpah, boss.

00:12:10 - Don't call me boss.

00:12:10 - Sorry, boss.

00:12:11 - I know this wasn't the best day, sir.

00:12:13 - You're telling me?

00:12:14 If everything goes well today--

00:12:16 - Knock on wood.

00:12:17 - I'll be a board of director.

00:12:19 - I know that, and I wouldn't bother you,

00:12:21 but love makes us do strange things.

00:12:24 - What's love got to do with the price of beer?

00:12:27 - Breakfast is served.

00:12:30 - Served, you palooka.

00:12:33 I'm signing you up for elocution lessons with Dr. Poole.

00:12:36 If I gotta do it, you gotta do it.

00:12:39 - Well, all of a sudden, he's the Duke of Ellington.

00:12:41 - Don't forget, you got a meeting

00:12:42 with the Fannucci brothers at 9.30.

00:12:45 - Yeah, yeah, come on, kid.

00:12:46 I wanna sit on my A-tree.

00:12:47 Not bad for a kid from the slums.

00:12:53 My wife picks all this out.

00:12:55 She's got an eye.

00:12:56 So, who's the dame that's got me up at 8.43?

00:13:02 - Excuse me, sir?

00:13:02 - You said you're in love, I assume, with the dame.

00:13:07 - Oh, she's a wonderful girl from a fine, wealthy family,

00:13:10 and I'm gonna propose to her this morning.

00:13:12 - Ah, ain't love grand?

00:13:15 Well, you got my blessings.

00:13:17 Congratulations to you and your new bride.

00:13:20 - But I can't marry her, not unless I can give her

00:13:23 the kind of life that her parents did.

00:13:25 - Well, dump her.

00:13:26 She sounds like a gold digger.

00:13:28 - Oh, no, no, sir.

00:13:29 She's just the opposite.

00:13:30 Very kind and sweet, down to earth.

00:13:32 - Well, I can see this dame's got you

00:13:35 wrapped around her little finger, huh?

00:13:38 Okay, how much you make?

00:13:40 - 400 a month.

00:13:41 - How much you wanna be making?

00:13:43 - 1,400 a month.

00:13:44 You can take a few minutes to think it over.

00:13:51 - I have thought it over.

00:13:54 - Get the hell off my atrium, and big Anthony,

00:13:56 we're alive to hear this.

00:13:58 - On the grave of my father, I never wanted to upset you,

00:14:02 but you have no idea how tough it is

00:14:04 for two young people starting out these days,

00:14:06 as I was saying last night to Mr. Lipinski.

00:14:09 - Lipinski?

00:14:11 - Yes, Mr. Myron Lipinski.

00:14:13 - Lucky Lipinski, the gangster?

00:14:15 How can you associate with such a low life?

00:14:17 - He's looking for a new accountant.

00:14:19 His last one died in his sleep.

00:14:20 - Oh, you don't think that bum would shoot him

00:14:22 while he's awake, do you, the cheap hood?

00:14:24 - He's not that cheap, sir.

00:14:26 Mr. Lipinski is willing to pay me the 1,400 a month.

00:14:29 - Ah, that backstabbing weasel.

00:14:31 He'd love to get his meat hooks into one of my boys.

00:14:34 All right, I'll pay.

00:14:37 - How much is he?

00:14:39 - 1,200.

00:14:40 - Oh, Mr. Provolone, I am touched by your faith in me.

00:14:44 - I should have had this mug in collections.

00:14:46 He's not an accountant, he's a shakedown artist.

00:14:48 - Now I can count on this 1,200 a month.

00:14:50 - Yeah, you got it.

00:14:51 Go, go propose.

00:14:53 - Mr. Provolone, it is my honor

00:15:02 to ask for your daughter's hand in matrimony.

00:15:04 (glass shatters)

00:15:07 - Pardon me?

00:15:08 - Yes, your daughter is the one I love.

00:15:11 - My daughter?

00:15:14 How do you know my daughter?

00:15:18 - We met at Club 33.

00:15:19 - In a speakeasy?

00:15:21 - It's a very respectable speakeasy.

00:15:23 - Couldn't even pick on the button, my beer.

00:15:25 - Boss, boss, get a hold of yourself.

00:15:27 Let me take care of him.

00:15:28 Are you still packing?

00:15:32 Fork it over.

00:15:35 - Fork?

00:15:36 We're not in that business anymore.

00:15:39 At noon, we become bankers.

00:15:42 - Can I get up now, Mr. Provolone?

00:15:44 (coughing)

00:15:48 - Sorry I lost my temper.

00:15:57 - No problem.

00:16:01 It is with the greatest humility

00:16:03 that I ask to marry your daughter.

00:16:05 - On a lousy 1,200 a month, she deserves better.

00:16:08 - Yes, she deserves a husband who makes 1,400.

00:16:11 - She'll get one, and it won't be you.

00:16:14 Connie, bring me a bryashky.

00:16:21 - That's Aldo's job.

00:16:22 - Well, then get Aldo to do it.

00:16:24 - Yes, boss.

00:16:24 - Don't call me boss.

00:16:25 - Sorry, boss.

00:16:26 - And as for you, you think I'm gonna let you

00:16:30 marry my daughter for her money?

00:16:32 - Mr. Provolone.

00:16:34 I don't love your daughter for her money,

00:16:38 and I can prove it.

00:16:39 - Yeah?

00:16:41 - When I marry her, I plan to give her my entire fortune.

00:16:44 - How much can a kumba like you have?

00:16:46 - $48,642.30.

00:16:50 - Now, how did you save 50 grand on 400 a month?

00:16:54 - I stole it from you.

00:16:55 - You what?

00:16:58 You walk into my house and tell me

00:17:00 you stole 50 Gs from me?

00:17:02 - Yes, gink.

00:17:03 You want I should bump him?

00:17:06 - Give me that gat, Aldo.

00:17:11 You know what I told you.

00:17:12 You're a butler now.

00:17:15 (gun fires)

00:17:16 Buttle.

00:17:18 - That piece has been in the family for years.

00:17:19 - Quit squawking.

00:17:20 Now, I'm waiting for an explanation.

00:17:24 - Maybe I should start from the beginning.

00:17:25 - Just start from where you stole my money.

00:17:27 When I first took over as your accountant,

00:17:30 your books were a mess.

00:17:31 - They don't sound like they're in no great shape now.

00:17:33 Damn it, double negative.

00:17:35 - Your overhead was high, and your net profits were low.

00:17:38 I changed all that.

00:17:39 - And I sent you a fruit basket for Christmas, didn't I?

00:17:43 - I took all the profits from your protection rackets

00:17:46 and used them to upgrade your bootlegging operation.

00:17:48 Now, that allowed me to cut the costs on your beer

00:17:52 a dime a bottle.

00:17:53 - Sure, you were fattening me up for the kill.

00:17:55 - Then a strange thing happened.

00:17:56 I made a slight clerical error.

00:17:58 - Was that the one that cost me $50,000?

00:18:00 - Don't get ahead of the story.

00:18:02 - Oh, excuse me.

00:18:04 - It was a simple mistake in addition.

00:18:06 On the books, I accidentally lowered your costs

00:18:08 by a nickel instead of a dime.

00:18:10 Now, when I realized my mistake,

00:18:12 I went to speak to you about it.

00:18:14 - I don't remember that.

00:18:15 - You were in Chicago.

00:18:17 It was St. Valentine's Day.

00:18:19 (laughs)

00:18:21 - Zippy.

00:18:26 - I remember it was St. Valentine's Day because

00:18:29 that's the day I met your daughter.

00:18:31 - If Vendetti's speaking, I'll kill her.

00:18:34 - It was love at first sight.

00:18:36 And that's when I turned that five cent error

00:18:39 into the key to my happiness.

00:18:40 I hit it on the books and beefed up petty cash.

00:18:43 And I knew that a big man like Angelo Provolone

00:18:47 wouldn't begrudge his future son-in-law a nickel,

00:18:50 which I planned to give to your daughter anyway.

00:18:52 - Oh, this guy is beautiful.

00:18:55 He flattens you to your face

00:18:56 while he sticks a knife in your back.

00:18:59 - I'm not proud of what I've done, Mr. Provolone.

00:19:02 But I'd do it all over again

00:19:04 to capture your daughter's heart.

00:19:05 - You really love her that much, huh?

00:19:09 - Oh, yes, sir.

00:19:10 - Does she know about this stuff you've been doing here?

00:19:12 - No, sir.

00:19:12 - Does she love you?

00:19:15 - Oh, yes, I'm sure of that.

00:19:17 In fact, she's even given me proof.

00:19:19 - Proof?

00:19:20 What proof?

00:19:21 - Aldo!

00:19:22 - What are you calling him for?

00:19:24 - I think you're gonna need some more bicarbonate.

00:19:26 - Why?

00:19:27 - Now, keep in mind, Mr. Provolone,

00:19:29 this is 1931.

00:19:30 We're all sophisticated adults here, right?

00:19:32 - This doesn't bode well.

00:19:35 - Your daughter and I are lovers.

00:19:37 - What?

00:19:37 (gunshot)

00:19:38 (grunting)

00:19:39 - Hey!

00:19:40 (grunting)

00:19:41 - Pop this guy!

00:19:43 - Wait, boss, we can't have a stiffened ass

00:19:44 with company coming.

00:19:45 (sighing)

00:19:48 - He's right.

00:19:49 It ain't proper.

00:19:50 The last thing I ever wanted to do was upset you.

00:19:53 - Why should I be upset?

00:19:55 You wake me up in the morning

00:19:57 and tell me you're stealing my money

00:19:58 and sleeping with my daughter?

00:20:00 You guys see anything to be upset about?

00:20:02 You're lucky you didn't upset me today.

00:20:06 If you didn't upset me like this yesterday,

00:20:08 you'd be wearing a cement kimono!

00:20:10 - You don't have to give me your answer right now.

00:20:12 - Good!

00:20:13 'Cause I wanna talk to my sweet little girl first, Anthony.

00:20:16 (dramatic music)

00:20:21 (footsteps)

00:20:23 - You two have a pleasant father-daughter chat.

00:20:29 I'll take a walk around the block

00:20:30 and you can give me your answer when you get back.

00:20:32 Dad?

00:20:33 - Don't you call me dad!

00:20:35 - Say boss.

00:20:36 - Don't you call me boss!

00:20:38 - Sorry, boss.

00:20:39 Let me show you the door.

00:20:42 There's the door!

00:20:43 (dramatic music)

00:20:49 - He's leaving the house.

00:20:50 Make a note.

00:20:51 (upbeat music)

00:20:57 - Can I speak to you a minute, Mr. Provolone?

00:21:02 - No.

00:21:03 (upbeat music)

00:21:08 - Lisa!

00:21:14 Lisa!

00:21:16 ♪ And she came, why it's a shame ♪

00:21:19 ♪ How she cooled him down ♪

00:21:21 ♪ Tell her she can't get ♪

00:21:24 - Lisa!

00:21:25 ♪ She ain't met ♪

00:21:26 ♪ Georgia claimed her ♪

00:21:27 ♪ Georgia named her sweet ♪

00:21:30 - Lisa, I'm waiting!

00:21:31 ♪ They call her sweet Miss Georgia Brown ♪

00:21:33 - Lisa!

00:21:34 Lisa!

00:21:36 So now you're locking your door?

00:21:42 - A girl needs her privacy, daddy.

00:21:46 I'm a grown woman now.

00:21:47 - So I heard.

00:21:49 - What's that supposed to mean?

00:21:50 - Don't be coy with me.

00:21:52 I know all about your boyfriend.

00:21:54 Or should I say, lover?

00:21:56 - You know?

00:21:57 - Yes.

00:21:58 And you brought nothing but shame

00:22:00 to this family indecente.

00:22:01 - Daddy, you have to realize I'm not a little girl anymore.

00:22:04 Look!

00:22:05 - Put that away!

00:22:08 I'm your father!

00:22:10 - Say, how'd you find out about us anyway?

00:22:15 - The mug was just here asking me

00:22:17 for your hand in marriage.

00:22:19 (Lisa crying)

00:22:22 What are you crying for?

00:22:23 - Because I'm so happy.

00:22:25 I thought he left me for good.

00:22:27 - You should be so lucky.

00:22:29 - Don't say that about the man I'm gonna marry.

00:22:31 - You're not gonna marry that monkey.

00:22:33 You're gonna marry the man I picked out for you,

00:22:35 Bruce Underwood III.

00:22:36 - I don't wanna marry Bruce Underwood.

00:22:39 He's a snob and he's got pimples.

00:22:42 - A couple of dates with you and that'll clear up.

00:22:44 - Go ahead, insult me.

00:22:46 (dramatic music)

00:22:49 - Mother and I send you to the finest Catholic schools

00:23:01 and look at you, a disgrace.

00:23:03 You look like you just stepped off the runway at Mitski's.

00:23:07 - I'm a modern 30s woman.

00:23:09 - It's the music you kids listen to today.

00:23:12 Bing Crosby, Kev Calloway?

00:23:14 Don't think I haven't heard the lyrics to Minnie the Moocher.

00:23:17 - Oh, I am so stifled in this house.

00:23:21 I wanna swim the English Channel.

00:23:23 I wanna go shopping in Paris.

00:23:25 I wanna lay on the beach in Honolulu.

00:23:27 - Do whatever you want, just don't leave this room.

00:23:31 (Lisa screaming)

00:23:34 - The Finochis is here.

00:23:39 (Lisa screaming)

00:23:42 - Connie, watch this door.

00:23:50 She's not going nowhere.

00:23:52 (dramatic music)

00:23:55 - Finochis!

00:24:01 - Buongiorno, Senor Provolone.

00:24:04 - Is that my suit?

00:24:05 - It's not just a suit, it's a Finochis.

00:24:09 - Took you long enough.

00:24:11 - You wanna fast or you wanna good?

00:24:13 We no rush.

00:24:14 You don't rush Michelangelo, you don't rush Leonardo.

00:24:16 - You no rush a Finoch.

00:24:18 - That's my speech.

00:24:19 - Who say it's your speech?

00:24:20 - Si, es mi discurso.

00:24:21 - Si, tu discus.

00:24:23 - No, no, no.

00:24:24 - This is my speech, all right?

00:24:25 - No, no.

00:24:25 - Just your letter to mine, listen.

00:24:26 - No, no, no.

00:24:27 - Enough!

00:24:28 Move it into the library.

00:24:38 Stairs.

00:24:39 - Oh no, do it.

00:24:40 - Oh, look at all of the books.

00:24:46 I never see so many.

00:24:47 - Yeah, yeah, reading's my passion.

00:24:50 - Senor Provolone, this is our last house call

00:24:54 of a Casanova who we famous.

00:24:56 - Famous?

00:24:57 - Oh sure, one of our suits.

00:24:59 She make a big spread in the Herald Tribune.

00:25:01 Show him the picture, show him the picture.

00:25:07 Nice piece of work.

00:25:09 Suit looks good too.

00:25:10 - Grazie.

00:25:11 - Grazie.

00:25:12 - His widow, she want a new suit to bury him.

00:25:15 I say, when he pay for the first, he get another.

00:25:19 Nice color, huh?

00:25:25 Feel this, this nice.

00:25:28 Like a baby's behind.

00:25:30 - Well, let's see if it fits.

00:25:36 I got till noon to look like a banker.

00:25:38 - Oh, we make you look like a banker.

00:25:40 Take off your pants.

00:25:42 - Four million unemployed.

00:25:53 That's enough to break your heart, isn't it, gentlemen?

00:25:55 - Yes.

00:25:56 We could be forced to lower our interest rates once again.

00:26:01 - Damn shame.

00:26:02 - One can't even walk from the office to the club

00:26:05 without being pestered by some homeless beggar.

00:26:09 Excuse me, I meant forgotten man.

00:26:11 - Drastic times call for drastic measures.

00:26:14 Which brings me to our present meeting, gentlemen.

00:26:17 - Please, my stomach.

00:26:19 - Whitney, I wish you'd be a little more receptive.

00:26:20 - Are we in such dire straits that we want the name

00:26:24 Angelo "Snap" Sprovolone on our letterhead?

00:26:28 - His name won't be in our letterhead,

00:26:31 but his money will be in our vaults.

00:26:33 - Well, gentlemen, bringing a gangster on the board.

00:26:38 - Ex-gangster.

00:26:39 Or as I prefer to think of him, a robber baron.

00:26:45 Like J.P. Morgan or John D. Rockefeller.

00:26:47 - At least they didn't have a middle name in quotes.

00:26:52 - Let me handle Mr. Sprovolone.

00:26:55 - Well, I may have to take this greaseball's money,

00:26:57 but I don't have to like it.

00:26:59 - Oh, Nora.

00:27:03 I have so many dreams.

00:27:04 I wanna ride on a zeppelin, attend a Rudy Valli show.

00:27:10 I wanna go to an opium den in Chinatown.

00:27:14 - You'll be doing all these things, Lisa.

00:27:17 - No. - Missy.

00:27:18 - My life is over.

00:27:20 Marrying my boyfriend was my last chance

00:27:21 to get out of this prison.

00:27:23 - Well, as prisons go, it's not so bad.

00:27:26 - You know, I went to this place

00:27:32 and I went to this play once.

00:27:34 - You went to a play?

00:27:36 What did you wear?

00:27:37 - Never mind.

00:27:38 There was a scene where a girl

00:27:39 made her parents think she was pregnant

00:27:43 and they were forced to let her marry her boyfriend.

00:27:47 - But if I told Daddy I was pregnant, he'd kill me.

00:27:53 - Either way, you'd get out of this house.

00:28:00 - A nice banker tie to go with a banker suit.

00:28:04 Pick one.

00:28:08 - Too loud, too quiet, too striped, too plaid.

00:28:11 Bingo.

00:28:12 - Mr. Provolone.

00:28:16 - What is it?

00:28:18 I'm in the middle of a fitting here.

00:28:19 - Mr. Provolone, your daughter wants to see you.

00:28:22 - What, again?

00:28:23 - She says it's a matter of life and death.

00:28:29 Now what do you want?

00:28:31 - Daddy, dear.

00:28:32 There's something I've gotta tell you

00:28:34 that's gonna give you quite a shock.

00:28:37 Daddy, I've decided to go away to a convent.

00:28:43 - Now you wanna be a nun?

00:28:46 Well, you're a little late.

00:28:49 - No, Daddy.

00:28:50 Convents are also where unwed mothers

00:28:52 go to have their babies.

00:28:54 - What?

00:28:57 (dramatic music)

00:28:59 You all right, boss?

00:29:01 - I thought I took this right away from you.

00:29:04 - It's my spare for emergencies.

00:29:07 - Give it to me.

00:29:09 Everything.

00:29:18 (clanking)

00:29:20 (clanking)

00:29:22 (clanking)

00:29:25 (clanking)

00:29:27 (clanking)

00:29:49 (clanking)

00:29:51 Is that it?

00:30:16 - It's like disarming Germany.

00:30:18 - Now get outta here.

00:30:21 - I should use this on myself

00:30:28 after what you've done to me and your mother.

00:30:32 The shame of it.

00:30:33 - I'm sorry, Daddy.

00:30:35 I'll start packing and go to the convent.

00:30:37 - You're not going to any convent.

00:30:39 You're gonna marry this bum and have a baby.

00:30:42 - I'm not going to any convent.

00:30:44 - You're not going to any convent.

00:30:45 You're gonna marry this bum

00:30:47 just as soon as I get my hands on him.

00:30:48 - Oh, Daddy, you changed your mind.

00:30:51 - What choice have I got, you tramp?

00:30:55 And after the wedding,

00:30:56 you'll move into a nice ground floor apartment.

00:31:01 - Why a ground floor apartment?

00:31:03 - 'Cause after I break his legs,

00:31:04 he's not gonna make it up any steps.

00:31:07 (doorbell ringing)

00:31:13 - What's the matter, Mr. Daly?

00:31:14 - There's a dame at the door.

00:31:16 - Can't you see I'm busy?

00:31:17 Brush her off.

00:31:18 - I can't.

00:31:19 - Why not?

00:31:19 - Because the dame says--

00:31:20 - I know.

00:31:21 It's a matter of life and death.

00:31:23 Basta finucci.

00:31:25 What can I do for you, Miss?

00:31:31 - Teresa.

00:31:32 - Teresa.

00:31:33 - Can we speak privately?

00:31:35 - Yeah, sure.

00:31:36 Why don't you come up to my office?

00:31:40 (dramatic music)

00:31:42 - If Dempsey got the workout I'm getting,

00:31:44 he wouldn't have lost his last fight.

00:31:47 - Mr. Provolone, I've done a stupid thing.

00:32:02 - What's that?

00:32:04 - I've fallen in love with a man named Anthony Rossano.

00:32:07 - You're right.

00:32:08 That's a stupid thing.

00:32:08 He's already spoken for.

00:32:11 - By who?

00:32:12 - By me.

00:32:13 - What do you mean?

00:32:15 - Anthony just asked to marry my daughter.

00:32:18 - He was here already?

00:32:18 - Yes.

00:32:20 But you're young, don't worry about it.

00:32:21 You're attractive.

00:32:22 The bread lines are full of eligible young men now,

00:32:24 if you'll excuse me.

00:32:25 - No, you don't understand, Mr. Provolone.

00:32:28 I lied to Anthony.

00:32:30 I told him that I was your daughter.

00:32:33 - You did what?

00:32:35 - He thinks you're my father.

00:32:37 So you see, when he asked for permission to marry,

00:32:39 it was me he wanted.

00:32:41 - That means he never even met my daughter?

00:32:43 That's wonderful!

00:32:45 No wait, that's terrible.

00:32:46 If he never met her, then who's the father?

00:32:49 Listen, of all the guys in the world, why did you pick me?

00:32:52 - Because I wanted Anthony to think

00:32:53 that I came from a wealthy family.

00:32:56 After all, he makes $1,400 a month.

00:32:58 - It's $1,200 a month!

00:33:00 - When he asked my name,

00:33:01 I had just seen your picture in the daily news.

00:33:04 So I told him I was Teresa Provolone.

00:33:06 - That makes sense.

00:33:08 - I didn't find out until later that you were a gangster.

00:33:12 I mean, that you were who you were.

00:33:15 - Then why didn't you tell him the truth?

00:33:16 - Because he liked the idea that I was your daughter.

00:33:19 I just found out that he worked for you.

00:33:21 - It's more like he works for himself.

00:33:23 - So you see, Mr. Provolone,

00:33:25 I don't want Anthony to find out the truth from anyone else.

00:33:28 - Yeah, if he does, I'm out 50,000 clams.

00:33:30 Think, think, think.

00:33:31 All right, I got it.

00:33:33 Now, I won't tell him you're not my daughter,

00:33:35 but you gotta do something for me.

00:33:36 - Oh, anything, Mr. Provolone.

00:33:38 - Don't leave this room

00:33:40 until I settle a small matter with Mr. Rosano.

00:33:43 - I'll wait right here, promise.

00:33:45 - Cut!

00:33:48 Keep your eye on my office

00:33:51 and make sure my daughter don't go nowhere, huh?

00:33:53 - How'd she get in there?

00:33:54 I've been watching this daughter whole time.

00:33:55 - Not Lisa, Teresa!

00:33:57 - You got two daughters?

00:34:01 All right, in the third,

00:34:03 I want $40 across the board on hi-hat.

00:34:05 That's right, $40 worth of parsley.

00:34:07 - We're running a little low on garnish.

00:34:10 - How'd that kid, Anthony?

00:34:12 - He left.

00:34:12 - I know he left.

00:34:13 Get him back here.

00:34:15 He said he was taking a walk around the block.

00:34:16 - I can't, I'm smoking a salmon.

00:34:18 - Put it out, get Anthony, and stash him somewhere.

00:34:22 But not in my office.

00:34:24 - Look at you, Snaps.

00:34:27 One day you're being honest and you're falling apart.

00:34:29 Forget about the promise to your old man.

00:34:32 - A promise is a promise.

00:34:34 - Mr. Brolin, can I speak to you now?

00:34:48 - Not now.

00:34:50 - Ouch!

00:34:54 - Angelo!

00:34:58 - As you were.

00:35:01 (dramatic music)

00:35:04 - Angelo!

00:35:09 - Sofia, honey.

00:35:14 You're the first person I've wanted to see today.

00:35:17 Bella.

00:35:19 - This is the last time,

00:35:20 absolutely the last time I drive

00:35:22 with that crazy chauffeur of yours.

00:35:24 - Johnny Elbows?

00:35:25 - He dropped me off at Mass

00:35:26 and stayed out front with the motor running.

00:35:28 - Oh, it's a force of habit.

00:35:30 - You had to fire Oscar.

00:35:31 He was a real chauffeur.

00:35:33 - Forget about Oscar.

00:35:34 We got more important things to talk about.

00:35:36 - What's the matter?

00:35:37 - Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!

00:35:39 My baby!

00:35:42 My little baby!

00:35:49 Your father just told me.

00:35:54 Mama, I'm sorry, Mama.

00:35:58 - It's not your fault.

00:36:00 It's his fault!

00:36:04 - My fault?

00:36:07 - Yes.

00:36:08 You suffocated her!

00:36:09 You kept me prisoner up here like Rapunzel!

00:36:13 - Well, you certainly ain't Snow White.

00:36:15 - Look at the example you've set,

00:36:17 filling the house of thugs, goons, and hit men!

00:36:20 - I was sometimes I had to bring my work home with me.

00:36:23 - Who did this thing to you?

00:36:26 Tell Mama.

00:36:28 - Daddy knows he met with him this morning.

00:36:30 - Well, who is it?

00:36:33 - Better you hear it from your own daughter's lips.

00:36:37 - It's Oscar.

00:36:40 - The chauffeur?

00:36:41 (engine revving)

00:36:43 - Why you acting so surprised?

00:36:44 You knew.

00:36:45 - Of course I knew.

00:36:47 I just had no idea.

00:36:49 Be right back.

00:36:49 - There you are.

00:36:54 I found him.

00:36:56 (dramatic music)

00:36:58 - We gotta talk.

00:36:59 - Angela, we've gotta talk.

00:37:06 Oh, I didn't know you were busy.

00:37:09 - You must be Mrs. Provolone.

00:37:11 What an honor.

00:37:12 - Sophia, little Andy, my accountant.

00:37:15 - And future son-in-law.

00:37:16 I've just asked permission to marry your daughter.

00:37:18 - Lisa?

00:37:19 - No, dear, not Lisa.

00:37:22 The other one.

00:37:23 - What other one?

00:37:25 - You know, the other one.

00:37:27 The other one that's not Lisa.

00:37:28 Why don't you go check on the girls, dear?

00:37:32 - I didn't know you had two daughters.

00:37:39 - Yeah, this house is full of surprises today.

00:37:42 Look, Andy, I don't know if you noticed,

00:37:45 but my wife was a little cool to you.

00:37:48 - I did notice.

00:37:49 Is there anything wrong?

00:37:50 - Yeah, she thinks you're a fortune hunter.

00:37:52 - Oh, no.

00:37:53 Nothing could be further from the truth.

00:37:55 How can I convince your wife of my good intentions?

00:37:59 - Easy.

00:38:00 You know that 50 Gs you chiseled from me?

00:38:02 - And plan to give to your daughter after we're married?

00:38:04 - Well, give it to her before you're married.

00:38:07 Right out of check.

00:38:08 That way my wife will know you're not marrying Lisa

00:38:11 just for her money.

00:38:12 - Teresa?

00:38:15 - Yeah, yeah, I'm always getting these two kids mixed up.

00:38:16 Here, sit down.

00:38:16 - There's a little problem.

00:38:21 - No ink?

00:38:23 - I didn't want to put the money in a bank.

00:38:25 You know what kind of shape they're in these days.

00:38:28 I converted it to precious stones.

00:38:30 Diamonds, emeralds, that kind of thing.

00:38:32 - That's the perfect wedding gift.

00:38:33 You know how women love jewels.

00:38:35 - I'll go get it right now.

00:38:37 (door slams)

00:38:38 - Andy, if you want, I could have one of my boys

00:38:40 escort you.

00:38:41 After all, that's a lot of ice.

00:38:42 - Oh, no, no, don't bother.

00:38:43 I'll be right back, Dad.

00:38:45 - I'll be waiting, Simon.

00:38:46 You miserable little punk.

00:38:51 (dramatic music)

00:38:54 - Alvin, where's that chauffeur?

00:39:07 - Johnny's out waxing a caddy.

00:39:08 - Not that lug-de-yug one, Oscar.

00:39:10 - You fired him.

00:39:11 - I know I fired him.

00:39:14 Where's he live?

00:39:15 - How should I know where Oscar lives?

00:39:16 - I know where he lives.

00:39:17 - Yeah, where?

00:39:18 - Southside.

00:39:20 - Now, you take a ride out there with Johnny Elbows

00:39:21 and grab him.

00:39:22 - Only he don't live there no more.

00:39:24 - Where's he live now?

00:39:27 - He joined the army for a six-year hitch,

00:39:28 then they shipped him abroad.

00:39:30 - It seems he was in love with some skite.

00:39:31 Never told us who.

00:39:33 But they broke up because her father

00:39:34 was a real pain in the ass.

00:39:36 - Oh, is that so?

00:39:38 - Oh, yeah.

00:39:38 As much as he loved her,

00:39:40 he couldn't bear having this creep as a father-in-law.

00:39:42 - Don't you ever shut up.

00:39:49 - What'd I say?

00:39:50 - I have got to talk to you, Mr. Provolone.

00:39:58 - Later.

00:39:59 - Mr. Provolone, I'm leaving you to go to the Underwoods.

00:40:03 - Underwoods?

00:40:04 You're going to work for Bruce?

00:40:06 - I'm marrying Bruce.

00:40:09 - You're marrying Bruce?

00:40:10 I found the first!

00:40:12 I mean, for my daughter.

00:40:13 - We met the day he called on Lisa.

00:40:16 - Oh, it was love at first sight.

00:40:19 - Congratulations.

00:40:21 You're fired!

00:40:22 - You can't fire me.

00:40:26 I quit!

00:40:28 - Try getting a reference out of me, sister!

00:40:32 Great!

00:40:34 The man gets a meeting, and my daughter gets a chauffeur.

00:40:37 Better tell Toomey to high-tail it over here.

00:40:41 - You got it too tight.

00:40:43 I make it more loose.

00:40:46 - Shut up, you fast Mussolini.

00:40:48 - Come on, you guys, I'm running out of time.

00:40:52 - Angelo.

00:40:53 Can I talk to you alone?

00:40:57 - Never mind them.

00:40:58 They only hear it Italian.

00:40:59 - I just came from Lisa's bedroom.

00:41:07 - You and everybody else.

00:41:09 - Angelo, our daughter is disgraced

00:41:11 before the eyes of God.

00:41:13 You have to find Oscar!

00:41:15 - Oscar's been scratched, he jumped the country.

00:41:17 - But the baby needs a father!

00:41:20 - The baby's got a father, what we need is a husband.

00:41:23 - A husband, a husband, where will we find a husband?

00:41:26 - Oh, look at us, we already married.

00:41:34 - See, we married real good.

00:41:35 - I got them bambinos, he got Ed.

00:41:36 - You no got them bambinos.

00:41:37 - I got them bambinos.

00:41:38 I got Ana Maria, I got Salvatore,

00:41:40 I got Fabrizio, I got Antonio, I got Mario,

00:41:42 I got big Luigi, I got little Luigi,

00:41:44 I got Luigi Junior, I got Giuseppe, and I got Figaro.

00:41:46 - Figaro no use, Figaro come from the milkman.

00:41:48 (laughing)

00:41:49 - You make a joke.

00:41:50 - Did I ask for the Finoucchi roll call?

00:41:52 - Scusi.

00:41:54 - Yes, scusi.

00:41:54 - What about that boy was here before?

00:42:00 Didn't he want to marry our daughter?

00:42:02 - Yeah, but not Lisa, the other one.

00:42:04 - What other one?

00:42:05 - The other one that's not Lisa!

00:42:08 - We don't have a daughter that's not Lisa!

00:42:11 - Sofia, you think I don't know that?

00:42:13 I have no idea what you're talking about,

00:42:17 but if you love me, if you ever love me,

00:42:22 you'll find my little girl a husband!

00:42:25 (sighing)

00:42:30 (dramatic music)

00:42:32 - He's back again.

00:42:42 He's back again for the third time,

00:42:45 and now he's got a little black bag.

00:42:47 - Break out the job on the sinkers, boys.

00:42:50 I think I'll stick around.

00:42:52 - All right, make sure the stripes

00:42:57 look straighter than ever, all right?

00:42:58 - Here he is, back by popular request.

00:43:01 - Finoucchi's out.

00:43:03 - Next time you come into this room--

00:43:04 - Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.

00:43:05 - No, you don't do no other business.

00:43:06 - You don't talk about business.

00:43:07 - I know my business, I know your business.

00:43:09 (speaking in foreign language)

00:43:13 - So, Mr. Provolone, do I have permission

00:43:16 to marry your daughter now?

00:43:17 - My son.

00:43:29 - Oh, Mr. Provolone, you've made me so happy.

00:43:32 - Where are you going?

00:43:35 - To tell Teresa the wonderful news.

00:43:39 - Not so fast, I've got some wonderful news for you.

00:43:42 - What could be more wonderful than marrying your daughter?

00:43:45 - Having her baby.

00:43:46 - Teresa's pregnant?

00:43:50 - Teresa's pregnant?

00:43:52 Who's Teresa?

00:43:53 - My daughter, you sap.

00:43:55 - I've gotta see her.

00:43:57 - Life, you know, life's a funny thing.

00:44:03 You're here one minute, gone the next.

00:44:06 - Ain't that the truth.

00:44:08 - Now you take Louis the Lug McGurk,

00:44:09 he died tragically at 25.

00:44:12 - I'm 25, what happened?

00:44:14 - Somebody stepped on his fingers.

00:44:16 - And that killed him?

00:44:17 - He was hanging from a window ledge

00:44:18 at the Edison Hotel at the time.

00:44:19 - The point is, son, the Lug didn't plan ahead

00:44:22 and the government got everything.

00:44:24 - Poor guy.

00:44:25 - Poor widow, misses the Lug,

00:44:26 now she's selling apples.

00:44:28 Makes you think.

00:44:29 - Sure does.

00:44:30 - Now what if something were to happen to you?

00:44:32 Where would I leave my daughter?

00:44:33 - You're right.

00:44:35 First thing tomorrow, I'll get a lawyer

00:44:36 and put it in writing.

00:44:38 (slapping)

00:44:39 - Son, we're family now, we don't need any lawyers.

00:44:43 - Here, just write what I say.

00:44:47 I, Anthony Rossano.

00:44:51 - Wait a minute, wait a minute.

00:44:57 I just thought of something.

00:44:58 - You think you and you ought to be writing.

00:45:00 - If something was to happen to me,

00:45:02 how do I know you'll give these jewels to your daughter?

00:45:05 - Fair enough, I'll sign the statement too.

00:45:07 You sign yours first and then I'll sign mine.

00:45:10 - Well, I don't know.

00:45:14 - What's the matter now?

00:45:15 - Maybe we should sign them together.

00:45:18 - Aldo, you be a witness.

00:45:19 - Ah, come on, Snaps, you know the rule,

00:45:21 never witness nothing, you live longer.

00:45:23 - Just do it.

00:45:24 All right, on three.

00:45:27 One, two, three.

00:45:29 I, Anthony Rossano.

00:45:32 I, Snaps Prevalone.

00:45:36 Hereby declare.

00:45:38 - Agree to give $50,000.

00:45:43 - I am a father.

00:45:46 - To my daughter, upon her marriage.

00:45:49 - Of Miss Prevalone's child.

00:45:53 - To Anthony Rossano.

00:45:57 - There.

00:46:00 Sign it.

00:46:03 - Will you sign too?

00:46:05 (dramatic music)

00:46:08 - Aldo, you're the witness.

00:46:13 Witness.

00:46:14 - You know the lug was a witness, look what it got him.

00:46:16 - Quit squawking.

00:46:18 - Give me yours.

00:46:25 - You give me yours.

00:46:26 - All right, we'll do it together.

00:46:30 (dramatic music)

00:46:33 - Good, very good.

00:46:38 Now for the fun part.

00:46:39 I believe you two know each other.

00:46:42 All right, Connie, never mind about her now.

00:46:53 Go back to watching my other daughter.

00:46:55 (dramatic music)

00:46:58 - Lelouch!

00:47:03 - I have something to tell you.

00:47:04 - I know what it is.

00:47:05 - You do?

00:47:06 - Sit down, sweetheart.

00:47:07 You shouldn't be standing in your condition.

00:47:10 - What are you talking about?

00:47:12 - You're having a baby.

00:47:13 Your father told me.

00:47:14 - I am not having a baby.

00:47:17 And he's not my father.

00:47:19 - What?

00:47:24 - Mr. Provolone, he's not my father.

00:47:28 - Does he know that he's not your father?

00:47:31 - Of course he knows he's not my father.

00:47:33 What kind of a question is that?

00:47:35 - Then he knows you're not his daughter.

00:47:37 - Yes.

00:47:38 I lied to you, Anthony.

00:47:40 I'm sorry.

00:47:42 - That son of a bitch.

00:47:43 - What's wrong?

00:47:44 - He conned me out of his money.

00:47:45 - Anthony, I only did it because I love you.

00:47:48 I was afraid I'd lose you.

00:47:49 - I've gotta get it back.

00:47:51 - Get what back?

00:47:52 - The money, of course.

00:47:54 You seem more interested in this money than you are in me.

00:47:57 - No, no, no, no, no.

00:47:58 Please, I've just gotta think.

00:48:00 - I'm glad I found out what you were really like

00:48:02 before it was too late.

00:48:03 - Teresa, come back.

00:48:14 Teresa!

00:48:15 - Thank God I'm not pregnant.

00:48:23 - What have you two been doing up there?

00:48:25 - Get out of my way.

00:48:26 - Why, I oughta.

00:48:29 - Get out of here.

00:48:40 - Teresa!

00:48:43 Teresa, come back!

00:48:45 - It's too much activity.

00:48:52 Snaps is up to something.

00:48:54 - It's too quiet.

00:48:54 Provolone is up to something.

00:48:58 - Bravo.

00:49:01 Di Stutti.

00:49:03 She a work of art.

00:49:04 - Of course.

00:49:05 She's a finucci.

00:49:07 - A finucci mean pretty good on this one.

00:49:09 - 150 bucks.

00:49:11 (laughing)

00:49:13 - I'll just write you boys out a check.

00:49:20 (car engine roaring)

00:49:22 - I demand to speak with you, Mr. Provolone.

00:49:24 - Finuccis, out.

00:49:27 - Ha!

00:49:32 (laughing)

00:49:35 - So, what can I do for you, kid?

00:49:38 - I guess you're pretty pleased with yourself.

00:49:43 - My father would have been proud.

00:49:45 I got my money back and nobody got shot.

00:49:47 - Not so fast. I've been tricked.

00:49:49 - I wouldn't do that if I were you.

00:49:52 - You forget, Mr. Provolone, you're going straight today?

00:49:54 - You're right, I am going straight today.

00:49:57 But they're not.

00:49:59 - And who are they?

00:50:03 - You don't recognize the finucci?

00:50:05 Sicilians, the most vicious contract killers in the country.

00:50:08 - They don't look that vicious to me.

00:50:10 (speaking in foreign language)

00:50:16 (speaking in foreign language)

00:50:20 - Don't let that fool you.

00:50:23 One word from me and it's (sucking)

00:50:26 (sucking)

00:50:28 Hmm?

00:50:29 But Anthony, if it's the jewels you want,

00:50:32 you can have them.

00:50:32 Just keep your part of the bargain and marry my daughter.

00:50:35 - The real one?

00:50:36 - Of course the real one, Mr. Provolone.

00:50:38 - But I've never even met her.

00:50:40 - Not according to this.

00:50:42 It'll hold up in any court.

00:50:44 - Give me that.

00:50:45 - This document says that you are the father

00:50:47 of my daughter's baby.

00:50:49 - Oh, now you're telling me

00:50:50 that your real daughter is pregnant?

00:50:52 - You got a problem with that?

00:50:54 - I am not marrying Lisa, I am marrying Teresa.

00:50:56 - Anthony, Anthony, little Anthony.

00:51:00 We are talking about my baby's baby.

00:51:04 - Forget it!

00:51:08 - Fine.

00:51:10 (speaking in foreign language)

00:51:11 - All right, all right, all right.

00:51:12 I call off your dogs.

00:51:15 (speaking in foreign language)

00:51:18 - Wise decision.

00:51:21 Now wait here, I'll get your fiance.

00:51:23 It's about time you two kids met.

00:51:43 (piano music)

00:51:45 (piano music)

00:51:48 (piano music)

00:51:51 (piano music)

00:51:54 (piano music)

00:51:56 (piano music)

00:51:59 (piano music)

00:52:01 (piano music)

00:52:04 (piano music)

00:52:06 (piano music)

00:52:09 (piano music)

00:52:11 (piano music)

00:52:14 (piano music)

00:52:16 (piano music)

00:52:19 (piano music)

00:52:47 (piano music)

00:52:49 - What do you want?

00:52:50 - Excuse me.

00:52:53 Could you tell Senor Provolone that we in a hurry?

00:52:56 We gotta do another guy 11 o'clock.

00:52:59 - You do more than one a day?

00:53:00 - Oh, sometimes we do six, eight a day.

00:53:02 It's a cultural business.

00:53:04 And if we get backed up, we gotta work weekends.

00:53:07 - And we no like that.

00:53:07 - No, we family man.

00:53:09 - You treat it like it's a normal business.

00:53:11 (clicking tongue)

00:53:12 To us, it's art.

00:53:15 - Show him the peach.

00:53:16 - What do you think it is?

00:53:19 - You guys did this?

00:53:26 - Who else?

00:53:27 - Acts of finucci.

00:53:29 - Oh, we get plenty of business from this peach.

00:53:31 - Maybe someday we do you too, huh?

00:53:34 And when we get through with you,

00:53:36 nobody gonna recognize you.

00:53:37 - Get close to her.

00:53:41 You look a little pale.

00:53:43 - You okay?

00:53:45 - Now this guy's willing to marry you, so be nice.

00:53:48 - I want Oscar!

00:53:49 - I want him more than you do,

00:53:51 but he's on the lam and Anthony's taking the rap for him.

00:53:53 - Thank you very much.

00:53:57 Whatever happened to love?

00:53:58 Whatever happened to romance?

00:54:00 - Whatever happened to waiting until the wedding night?

00:54:02 - Angelo, please!

00:54:04 Not in front of the help.

00:54:06 - Trust me, he's no help.

00:54:08 Connie, go wrap your teeth and wrap some lunch.

00:54:11 Girls?

00:54:12 (dramatic music)

00:54:15 - Lisa, this is your husband-to-be, Anthony Rosano.

00:54:18 Lisa?

00:54:23 - Hello.

00:54:24 - Hello, Lisa.

00:54:26 - You see that?

00:54:27 You're hitting it off already.

00:54:28 - Sometimes arranged marriages work out the best.

00:54:32 Oscar was cuter.

00:54:33 - Who's Oscar?

00:54:35 - The chauffeur.

00:54:36 - You mean she's having the chauffeur's baby?

00:54:40 - Why don't you just phone it in to Walter Winchell?

00:54:43 - Angelo, let's leave the two lovebirds alone.

00:54:46 - Good idea.

00:54:49 You two get to know all about each other,

00:54:51 but Lisa, make it quick, I got people coming at noon.

00:54:54 - That's the best husband you could find?

00:55:04 - He passed the physical, he's breathing.

00:55:06 Feluccis!

00:55:08 (sighs)

00:55:10 - So, you're pregnant with Oscar's baby.

00:55:15 - Would I be marrying you if I wasn't?

00:55:17 - You don't wanna marry me.

00:55:21 I'm in love with someone else.

00:55:23 - So am I.

00:55:24 - Then why are we going through with this?

00:55:27 - Because I'd do anything to get out of this house.

00:55:31 - That makes two of us.

00:55:33 - I wanna, I wanna go on an African safari.

00:55:37 I wanna run with the bulls in Spain.

00:55:39 I wanna go to the top of the Empire State Building.

00:55:43 - And where am I doing all this?

00:55:44 Babysitting Oscar's kid?

00:55:46 - You always this nasty?

00:55:49 - Yes, get used to it.

00:55:50 - (gasps) I'm marrying a brute!

00:55:53 I never wanna see your face again, until the wedding!

00:55:58 - That's fine with me, and separate honeymoons.

00:56:01 - Fine!

00:56:05 - See you in church!

00:56:07 (footsteps)

00:56:09 (doorbell rings)

00:56:14 - Probably Judge Crater.

00:56:16 Oh, hi, Dr. Poole.

00:56:17 Come on in, the boss been expecting you.

00:56:20 (laughs)

00:56:21 - Although, do you realize what you just did?

00:56:24 - What?

00:56:25 - You used the past participle without a modifier.

00:56:29 - I did?

00:56:31 What's the rap on that?

00:56:33 Cool your heels, Doc, I'll be right with ya.

00:56:35 (laughs)

00:56:36 - Marvelous.

00:56:37 Aldo's a treasure trove of linguistic anomalies.

00:56:43 - I heard that.

00:56:45 - Middlesex.

00:56:51 - What?

00:56:53 - You're from Middlesex County in New Jersey.

00:56:58 Am I right?

00:56:59 - Yeah, New Brunswick.

00:57:01 - I knew it.

00:57:03 You see, the New Jersey accent becomes increasingly nasal

00:57:07 the further south one goes.

00:57:09 - That's an amazing talent, Doctor.

00:57:11 Have you ever thought of working carnivals?

00:57:14 - Young man, I've made a serious study

00:57:18 of the English language.

00:57:20 In my travels, I've uncovered 2,700 sub-dialects

00:57:25 in the United States alone.

00:57:27 Now, you take the attenuated vowels of the East Texans.

00:57:32 - All that travel must cut into your home life, Doctor.

00:57:34 - Well, I don't spend as much time with Mother

00:57:37 as I would like, but she's got the cats.

00:57:41 - A brilliant scholar like yourself is still single?

00:57:45 - Oh, work has always come first.

00:57:47 This weekend, I'm off to Appalachia

00:57:50 to study regional colloquialisms

00:57:52 among the coal mining community.

00:57:54 - Would you excuse me a minute, Doctor?

00:57:57 You'll be here for a while, won't you?

00:57:58 - Oh, yes.

00:58:00 I'll be giving Mr. Provolone his elocution lesson.

00:58:03 Good news.

00:58:12 We don't have to marry each other.

00:58:13 I found someone else.

00:58:14 - Who?

00:58:16 - Someone who's handsome and intelligent

00:58:18 and worships the ground you walk upon, Dr. Poole.

00:58:22 - Dr. Poole?

00:58:23 Say, what's the gag?

00:58:25 He's old enough to be my father.

00:58:28 - More importantly, he's old enough

00:58:29 to be your baby's father.

00:58:30 - What makes you think he wants to marry me?

00:58:34 - Because he loves you.

00:58:36 Passionately, he just told me.

00:58:38 - But he's never said anything.

00:58:40 - Ironic, isn't it?

00:58:42 A man whose life is devoted to words

00:58:44 and he can't put together the three most important ones.

00:58:47 - That's so touching.

00:58:48 - I knew you'd see it my way.

00:58:50 Stay right here.

00:58:51 - Finoch is in, Finoch is out.

00:58:55 Finoch is in.

00:58:56 He give me Agida.

00:58:59 (sighs)

00:59:01 - Lisa.

00:59:01 Antony's trying to tell me

00:59:04 that now you're in love with Dr. Poole.

00:59:06 - Yes, I am.

00:59:07 - You see?

00:59:08 What?

00:59:09 - Oh, Daddy, yes.

00:59:10 He's so sweet, so intelligent, so cultured.

00:59:13 About like some other fellas I know.

00:59:15 - Well, put Poole out of your mind,

00:59:17 you're marrying Antony.

00:59:19 - But I love Thornton.

00:59:21 - Oh, so now it's Thornton?

00:59:23 (laughs)

00:59:27 (cries)

00:59:28 - Now stop that bawling, will you?

00:59:30 - He's the only sensitive man I've ever met.

00:59:33 - What are you saying, I'm not sensitive?

00:59:35 (cries)

00:59:37 All right, Lisa, Lisa, stop.

00:59:39 Will you stop?

00:59:40 (claps)

00:59:42 If it's Poole you want, it's Poole you'll get,

00:59:47 but Lisa, you got to cross the finish line on this one.

00:59:51 He's your third fiancee today

00:59:52 and it's not even like shit.

00:59:54 (birds chirping)

00:59:57 - Look, Mr. Provolone, now that she has a husband,

01:00:02 can I have back the statement I signed?

01:00:03 - Forget about it.

01:00:05 I'm keeping you on the bench

01:00:06 in case this guy doesn't come through.

01:00:08 Morning, Doc.

01:00:12 - Now, now, Mr. Provolone, where are those G's?

01:00:18 - In here.

01:00:21 - No, no, you're not enunciating.

01:00:25 Good morning, Dr. Poole.

01:00:28 - Oh, yeah, right.

01:00:29 Don't you have something to do?

01:00:32 - Yes, I do, as a matter of fact.

01:00:34 Goodbye, Mr. Provolone.

01:00:35 Goodbye, Dr. Poole.

01:00:36 (snaps)

01:00:39 - Now look, that guy's leaving again.

01:00:51 And here comes the priest.

01:00:53 - Enter at your own risk, Father.

01:00:59 - Aldo, haven't seen you at mass lately.

01:01:02 - Oh, really, Father?

01:01:03 I can't imagine why.

01:01:05 Now, remember, Mr. Provolone,

01:01:10 speech is man's most important tool

01:01:13 for the conveyance of thought.

01:01:14 - Yeah, Doc, but when am I gonna start

01:01:16 sounding like a banker?

01:01:18 (sighs)

01:01:20 - After me.

01:01:22 Round the rough and rugged rocks

01:01:28 the ragged rascal rudely ran.

01:01:30 - Round the rough and rugged rocks the ragged ra--

01:01:36 - Round the rough and rugged rocks the ragged.

01:01:40 - Round the rough and rascal the ragged,

01:01:48 oh, look, Doc, I just can't do it.

01:01:50 I've never learned to speak good.

01:01:52 - Do not despair, Mr. Provolone.

01:01:57 Let's try a new line of attack, shall we?

01:02:01 After me.

01:02:06 Rocco the Rum Runner rubbed out Rico the Rat

01:02:10 with his Rosco for robbing his rum running receipts.

01:02:16 Can you say that?

01:02:17 - Rocco the Rum Runner rubbed out Rico the Rat

01:02:21 with his Rosco for robbing his rum running receipts.

01:02:25 - You did it!

01:02:26 - Sure, you finally come up with something that makes sense.

01:02:29 - Excuse me, Mr. Provolone.

01:02:33 I'll be going now, if you don't mind.

01:02:36 - So what's keeping you?

01:02:38 - Well, there's the little matter

01:02:40 of a week's pay you'll be owing me.

01:02:43 - She should pay me for introducing her

01:02:45 to Bruce Underwood.

01:02:47 (paper rustling)

01:02:50 - I'm glad I'll no longer be working in this house.

01:02:55 From now on, I'll be having servants of me own.

01:02:58 - You'll find out what a picnic that is.

01:03:02 - Shocking insolence.

01:03:06 I would have terminated her immediately.

01:03:08 - I can't do that anymore.

01:03:12 The best I could do was fire her.

01:03:15 - Listen, Doc, I'd like to talk to you

01:03:17 about a little difficulty my daughter's having.

01:03:20 - Really?

01:03:21 She seems to have such nicely rounded diphthongs.

01:03:24 - That's what got her into this jam.

01:03:27 You see, my daughter's turning 18

01:03:28 and she wants to get married.

01:03:30 - Well, she's charming.

01:03:32 Who's the lucky man?

01:03:33 - You are, Doc.

01:03:35 - Well, I'm flat.

01:03:36 - What?

01:03:37 You're not married or anything, are you?

01:03:39 - Well, no, of course not.

01:03:41 - And how do you feel about kids?

01:03:43 - Children?

01:03:44 Well, I love.

01:03:45 - Then it's settled.

01:03:46 - Well, it's settled, but I hardly know the girl.

01:03:50 - Let me sweeten the pie.

01:03:57 Now, there must be something I can do for you,

01:04:00 some dream that you got.

01:04:03 - Well, now that you mention it,

01:04:07 I've always wanted to take mother to Barden-Barden.

01:04:13 There's a doctor there who's doing

01:04:14 simply miraculous things with gallbladders.

01:04:17 - Her gallbladder's on the next boat.

01:04:20 Anything else?

01:04:21 - Well, then there's the Thornton Pool School of Linguistics.

01:04:26 - I can see it from here.

01:04:28 Deal, Doc?

01:04:28 - I don't know.

01:04:31 Events are moving so fast.

01:04:34 - Here, this is the clincher.

01:04:36 - God, what's this?

01:04:40 - Your mother's gallbladder,

01:04:42 the Linguistics School, all your dreams.

01:04:45 Look!

01:04:47 I'm a little confused.

01:04:54 I'll be right back.

01:04:59 - Nora!

01:05:11 - Where to, lady?

01:05:12 - Regency Gardens.

01:05:14 - Nora!

01:05:17 Nora!

01:05:18 Nora!

01:05:19 Nora!

01:05:21 - El Provolone's coming out with a black bag.

01:05:23 - What do you think's in it?

01:05:28 - Bag money, what else?

01:05:30 It does it.

01:05:35 Pulling for the warrant.

01:05:37 (gunshot)

01:05:39 - Damn son of a...

01:05:41 Gun, gosh almighty!

01:05:45 Jeez and crackers!

01:05:47 - So sorry to keep you waiting, Father Clemente.

01:05:51 Angelo, you remember Father Clemente?

01:05:54 - Morning, Father, and thanks again

01:05:56 for the swell job you did on Papa's funeral.

01:05:58 - I know he'd be proud that you kept your promise to him.

01:06:00 - The father's here to collect for the building fund.

01:06:03 - Oh, by the way, congratulations

01:06:05 on your daughter marrying Bruce Underwood.

01:06:08 - Oh, I'm afraid there's been a change, Father.

01:06:11 She's now marrying a nice Italian boy, Anthony Rossano.

01:06:14 - That's all for the better.

01:06:16 Nothing like a big Italian wedding, Anthony Rossano.

01:06:20 - Well, forget Anthony, she's not marrying him anymore.

01:06:23 - What?

01:06:24 - Well, that's a shame, but she's young.

01:06:27 Someday she'll find the right one.

01:06:28 - She's found the right one.

01:06:30 - Who?

01:06:30 - Dr. Poole.

01:06:33 - Dr. Poole?

01:06:34 - Hello?

01:06:35 Get back in the room!

01:06:38 Looks like a nice young man.

01:06:43 - Why is she marrying Dr. Poole?

01:06:45 She barely knows him.

01:06:47 - She barely knew the chauffeur, too.

01:06:50 - Don't drag out Oscar in front of the father.

01:06:53 - Who's Oscar?

01:06:54 - Why isn't she marrying Anthony?

01:06:57 - Because Anthony's marrying Teresa.

01:06:59 - Who's Teresa?

01:07:01 - Look, it's really very simple,

01:07:03 but I ain't got time to explain it.

01:07:04 I got to call Nora.

01:07:06 - Who's Nora?

01:07:08 - Our maid.

01:07:09 - Ex-maid.

01:07:10 - No, you fired the maid?

01:07:11 - No, she quit the Mary Bruce Underwood.

01:07:13 - When did that happen?

01:07:14 - I don't know.

01:07:15 Someone took my vest and my pants.

01:07:17 - What?

01:07:18 - This is all very confusing.

01:07:21 - Well, Father, it's one of them mysteries in life

01:07:25 you just gotta accept on faith.

01:07:28 Now I gotta run.

01:07:32 - Father, why don't you go into the kitchen

01:07:35 and have a cup of tea while I clear this matter up?

01:07:39 - Sorry to bother you, Bruce.

01:07:43 Nora took the wrong bag, can you believe that?

01:07:46 Yes.

01:07:47 Would you mind sending your man around

01:07:49 and bringing the bag back?

01:07:51 Yes, now, Trevalon, who the hell you think it is?

01:07:55 (doorbell rings)

01:07:57 (dramatic music)

01:08:02 (dramatic music)

01:08:05 (gun fires)

01:08:16 - What's the matter, you couldn't make it on the outside?

01:08:19 - I came to return this suitcase and collect you.

01:08:23 (footsteps thudding)

01:08:26 - Is this it?

01:08:36 - Yes.

01:08:37 I realized that one wasn't mine when I tried to open it.

01:08:42 - Go on, beat it.

01:08:43 We got bankers coming

01:08:44 and we don't need no riffraff around here.

01:08:46 (birds chirping)

01:08:51 (water dripping)

01:08:53 - Sugar?

01:09:17 - Oh, no.

01:09:20 Thank you.

01:09:21 Who told you I was in love with you?

01:09:33 - Antony.

01:09:35 - But I thought you were in love with me.

01:09:39 - Who told you that?

01:09:42 - Your father.

01:09:43 - Oh, and did he tell you I was pregnant?

01:09:47 - No, you're pregnant.

01:09:50 - No, I just told him that so I could marry Oscar.

01:09:54 - Who's Oscar?

01:09:55 - Our ex-chauffeur.

01:09:57 You see, I'd do anything to get out of this house.

01:10:00 - Oh, I do know how you feel.

01:10:01 - Of course, you've met my father.

01:10:04 - Oh, no.

01:10:06 I was thinking of my mother.

01:10:08 She can be so possessive.

01:10:11 - Then you know what I'm going through, Dr. Poole?

01:10:15 - Daunton.

01:10:16 Yes, I do.

01:10:19 (dramatic music)

01:10:22 - Lisa.

01:10:25 At the risk of being forward.

01:10:29 - Yes, Daunton?

01:10:32 - Your diction is surprisingly good

01:10:36 considering your genealogy.

01:10:38 - That's the sweetest thing anybody's ever said to me.

01:10:44 Daunton.

01:10:47 (dramatic music)

01:10:49 - It must be the chauffeur to pick up the underwear.

01:10:56 There it is.

01:10:57 I got it.

01:11:02 - What are you doing back here?

01:11:09 - What's he doing back there?

01:11:13 - I see you've still got the jewels.

01:11:15 - Yeah, sure.

01:11:16 Yeah, sure, I wouldn't let these babies out of my sight.

01:11:21 - This morning I had everything.

01:11:23 The jewels, Teresa.

01:11:25 Now I have nothing.

01:11:27 - Well, don't take it too hard.

01:11:30 - I can't even call her

01:11:31 because she never told me her real name or address.

01:11:34 - Consider yourself lucky.

01:11:36 - I'll make you a deal, Mr. P.

01:11:38 - What kind of deal?

01:11:42 - Well, I've become attached to those jewels.

01:11:46 They remind me of Teresa.

01:11:48 I'd like to buy them back from you for $50,000.

01:11:51 - Now where'd you come up with another 50,000 smackers?

01:11:55 - I stole it from you.

01:11:56 - Tony!

01:11:58 - What is it, boss?

01:12:00 - You took my gut.

01:12:11 - What?

01:12:12 Now you're trying to tell me

01:12:24 you stole another 50,000 clams

01:12:26 since the last time I saw you?

01:12:28 Remember that dummy corporation I set up for you

01:12:30 to hide your protection income?

01:12:32 - Yeah.

01:12:32 - Remember who you made treasurer as a beard?

01:12:36 - You didn't.

01:12:37 - I just wrote out a check to myself.

01:12:39 As treasurer, the bank asked me no questions.

01:12:42 - Only a rat would steal another guy's extortion money.

01:12:45 - Here's my offer.

01:12:47 You give me back the jewels that are rightfully mine

01:12:50 and I'll give you back the money which isn't.

01:12:52 - All right, I guess you outsmarted me.

01:12:57 You give me that money and I'll give you these jewels.

01:13:01 - It's out in the car, I'll be right back.

01:13:02 And I want that document back that I signed too.

01:13:05 - No problem, got it right here.

01:13:07 (dramatic music)

01:13:10 - I got him, this time I got him.

01:13:14 Another drop in broad daylight.

01:13:21 - Give me the bag.

01:13:25 - Let's exchange them at the same time.

01:13:27 - Good idea.

01:13:28 (dramatic music)

01:13:31 - That's it.

01:13:50 I'm calling the gentlemen of the press.

01:13:54 I want them to see me make this pitch.

01:13:56 (dramatic music)

01:13:59 - Everything okay, boss?

01:14:05 - Why don't you make some noise when you walk?

01:14:07 - Angelo, come up to your office, we have to talk.

01:14:11 - All right, all right.

01:14:13 Connie!

01:14:14 - Here, boss.

01:14:17 - Will you stop beating and listen up?

01:14:20 Take this bag and bring it into the library

01:14:22 and no matter what you do,

01:14:23 don't take your eyes off of this bag

01:14:24 even for a second, get me?

01:14:26 - Yeah, boss.

01:14:27 (dramatic music)

01:14:30 - I just called the maid service

01:14:43 and they're sending someone over.

01:14:45 - You got me up here for that?

01:14:47 - Angelo, nobody wants to work for you.

01:14:50 Now, I want you to be nicer to this woman

01:14:52 than you were to Nora.

01:14:53 - Nora?

01:14:55 She's marrying into the Underwood fortune.

01:14:56 I ought to get a commission.

01:14:57 (dramatic music)

01:15:00 (laughing)

01:15:04 (dramatic music)

01:15:10 (dramatic music)

01:15:16 (engine rumbling)

01:15:23 (engine rumbling)

01:15:26 - Hey, Tommy.

01:15:29 - This time it's a chauffeur.

01:15:33 He's got bag men all over the city.

01:15:35 - What can I do for you, General?

01:15:40 - Mr. Underwood sent me to return Mr. Provolone's suitcase.

01:15:44 - Thanks, and?

01:15:46 - I'm here to collect Miss Nora's suitcase.

01:15:50 - Oh, right.

01:15:52 I think he put it in the library.

01:15:53 Park it in here, Fritz.

01:15:55 Sit and see.

01:16:06 (dramatic music)

01:16:14 (dramatic music)

01:16:17 (dramatic music)

01:16:20 (dramatic music)

01:16:23 (dramatic music)

01:16:34 (dramatic music)

01:16:36 - Here you go.

01:16:55 Give my regards to the Kaiser.

01:16:58 (dramatic music)

01:17:00 - I promise I'll be nice to the help.

01:17:11 - I'm going to dress for lunch.

01:17:12 - I love talking to you, Thornton.

01:17:16 You're so deep dish.

01:17:19 (dramatic music)

01:17:22 (dramatic music)

01:17:25 - Lisa, I'll be leaving next month on the Ile de France

01:17:31 for a linguistic symposium in Brussels.

01:17:33 - Brussels, the one in Europe?

01:17:37 - Yes.

01:17:40 - Do send me a postcard.

01:17:44 You can address it here in care of my gilded cage.

01:17:49 - I don't suppose you'd consider

01:17:52 - Well, I mean to say,

01:17:54 no, I can't ask.

01:17:58 - Come on, spill it.

01:17:59 - I was wondering if you would accompany me.

01:18:04 - Will I?

01:18:06 - Dr. Poole!

01:18:07 Get in here, we gotta talk.

01:18:10 Please forgive me.

01:18:22 - Okay, Doc, sit down.

01:18:23 Now, where were we?

01:18:25 Oh yeah, I made you an offer earlier to marry my daughter.

01:18:29 - Yes, in exchange for a bag of women's underwear.

01:18:33 - Nix the underwear never happened.

01:18:35 Now, the offer still stands,

01:18:37 and anybody will tell you that Snaps Prevalone's word

01:18:39 is his bond.

01:18:40 - That's right, Doc.

01:18:42 Even in the old days, he was known as an honest crook.

01:18:45 - That's an oxymoron.

01:18:47 - Gee, Doc, you shouldn't have said that.

01:18:50 - Leave Connie alone.

01:18:51 He does the best he can.

01:18:53 - I'm sorry.

01:18:56 - Okay, Doc, here's the deal.

01:19:00 Marry my daughter, and you can use all the dough

01:19:04 in his bag to start your linguistic school.

01:19:06 Most men spend their whole lives

01:19:09 trying to get their hands on what's in here.

01:19:11 (papers rustling)

01:19:14 (pounding)

01:19:24 - Mm, that's right, Mr. Prevalone.

01:19:38 I've never seen so much money.

01:19:41 Oh, look.

01:19:42 Here's money.

01:19:45 Here's more money.

01:19:50 And, oh, look.

01:19:54 Here's a lovely new $20 bill.

01:19:58 - Dr. Poole, would you be so kind as to step into the garden

01:20:01 while I have a conference with my associate?

01:20:04 (scoffs)

01:20:07 - Please, correct me if I am wrong,

01:20:21 but did I or did I not tell you

01:20:24 to keep an eye on this particular bag?

01:20:27 - I did.

01:20:29 I watched the bag of underwear the whole time.

01:20:31 (pounding)

01:20:32 - It wasn't underwear when I left.

01:20:34 It was 50 grand in cash!

01:20:36 Poole was right.

01:20:37 You are an ox and a moron!

01:20:39 - How did 50 grand change into underwear?

01:20:44 - That's what I'm asking you!

01:20:45 - Maybe it was a miracle.

01:20:49 You know, like the loaves and the fishes?

01:20:51 - Lisa, come with me.

01:20:58 Let's get out of this madhouse.

01:21:00 - Whatever you say, baby.

01:21:02 - Baby?

01:21:04 - Snaps, are you sure there was cash in that bag?

01:21:14 - Yeah, Little Ant and he stole it.

01:21:16 - If Little Ant and he stole it, then he's got it.

01:21:18 - No, you blackhead, he stole it.

01:21:20 Then he gave it back to me.

01:21:21 - Why'd he give it back to you?

01:21:22 - To buy back the jewels.

01:21:23 - What jewels?

01:21:24 - The jewels he stole from me.

01:21:25 - He stole jewels from you too?

01:21:27 - Yeah, so he could marry my daughter.

01:21:28 - Lisa!

01:21:29 - Not Lisa, Teresa.

01:21:30 - How come nobody's never met this daughter, Teresa?

01:21:32 - Because she's not my daughter, capiche?

01:21:35 - Yeah, your daughter's not your daughter.

01:21:37 And the cash that used to be the jewels

01:21:39 is now your underwear.

01:21:40 - Now you got it.

01:21:41 - I got it!

01:21:42 I don't even know what I'm talking about!

01:21:44 (doorbell rings)

01:21:53 - I'm back.

01:21:55 - Cal's Surprise.

01:21:57 Take a seat, the nurse will call your number.

01:21:59 The skirt is back.

01:22:04 - Which skirt, Nora?

01:22:06 - No, the other one, Teresa.

01:22:08 - You remember, boss, the one that's not your daughter.

01:22:11 - Well, keep her on ice, I'm looking for something.

01:22:14 - What?

01:22:15 - A bag, just like this one.

01:22:17 - Ah, don't worry about that.

01:22:19 I gave it back to Underwood's chauffeur.

01:22:20 - You did what?

01:22:24 - It was sitting here in the library before,

01:22:26 so I switched the bags for you.

01:22:28 - And where was Einstein?

01:22:30 - Was Connie in here?

01:22:31 Connie, was you in here?

01:22:33 I didn't see him.

01:22:34 - Why don't you go stand over there next to your girlfriend?

01:22:39 - Uh, mush!

01:22:46 - Underwear, underwear, Underwood, Underwood, Underwood.

01:22:54 (whispering)

01:22:56 - Mr. Provolone, we'll see you in the library.

01:23:02 Connie?

01:23:03 - Come on.

01:23:03 - And now he's back again for another drop.

01:23:14 And you knuckleheads thought that Snaps was going straight.

01:23:22 (doorbell ringing)

01:23:25 - Oh, that's okay, I'll get it.

01:23:31 (doorbell ringing)

01:23:36 - Well, well, the man who started it all.

01:23:45 - Look, Underwood, your chauffeur snatched the wrong bag.

01:23:47 Well, do something about it, and pronto.

01:23:51 - Now what can I do for you?

01:23:53 - Can we talk in private?

01:23:55 - Connie, I'm straight.

01:23:57 - Can't I stick around, boss?

01:23:58 Every time I leave, I fall behind.

01:24:00 - All right, stay, but shut up.

01:24:02 - Mr. Provolone, I'm desperate.

01:24:05 I've done a stupid thing.

01:24:07 - Yeah, I know, you already told me.

01:24:09 - No, I mean, I walked out on Anthony.

01:24:13 The only man I've ever loved.

01:24:15 - Honey, that's the first smart move you made.

01:24:17 (door slams)

01:24:20 - I looked for him everywhere.

01:24:23 I tried his apartment, and he wasn't there.

01:24:25 Do you know where I can find him?

01:24:27 - No, but wherever he is,

01:24:28 he's probably stealing another 50 Gs from me.

01:24:31 Now, if you'll excuse me, I have another appointment.

01:24:34 I may have an idea where he is.

01:24:43 - Where?

01:24:44 - Closer than I thought.

01:24:46 Now, I want you to stay in here and don't come out.

01:24:49 You owe me this, sister.

01:24:51 - I thought she was your daughter.

01:24:52 - Shut up.

01:24:53 Well, little Anthony.

01:25:08 Thought you could pull a fast one on me, huh?

01:25:12 - You must have forgotten, Mr. Provolone.

01:25:14 I gave you the cash in exchange for those jewels.

01:25:16 - Yeah, but you were supposed to get the underwear.

01:25:19 - What underwear?

01:25:20 I know, the maid's underwear.

01:25:23 - Connie, please.

01:25:24 Bingo.

01:25:28 And I'm not giving you another bag of me,

01:25:30 turn him on to that racket.

01:25:32 - I don't know what you're talking about,

01:25:33 but you can have the jewels.

01:25:35 - Do you believe the cojones on this guy?

01:25:37 He's just giving me back my own dough.

01:25:40 Here, Connie, watch this.

01:25:41 Look who I'm talking to.

01:25:45 So, you're just giving me back my own rocks, huh?

01:25:48 - Yes.

01:25:49 I've realized that all the jewels in the world

01:25:51 are worthless to me now, now that I've lost Teresa.

01:25:53 - This guy's a poet.

01:25:56 - And if you ever hear from her again,

01:25:58 please tell her that I still love her

01:26:00 and that I'm sorry I hurt her.

01:26:01 - Teresa's in the library.

01:26:04 - She's here?

01:26:06 - That's right, and she's crazy about you.

01:26:11 - Anthony, I am so sorry.

01:26:14 - No, no, no, this whole thing was my fault.

01:26:16 (doorbell rings)

01:26:26 - I'll get it.

01:26:28 Maybe that's the underwood chauffeur with my dough.

01:26:30 - They'll get it.

01:26:40 - Hello, I was sent by the employment agency.

01:26:43 - I don't mean to seem discourteous,

01:26:45 but I got another appointment coming up.

01:26:47 Sit down, honey.

01:26:48 - I'll try not to keep you, Mr. Provolone.

01:26:53 Here's my references.

01:26:56 I do light housekeeping, some cooking.

01:26:58 - You don't by any chance answer front doors, do you?

01:27:01 - Well, all this looks pretty good.

01:27:08 Roxanne.

01:27:10 So how long you been a maid?

01:27:11 - My first job was for a man named James Bonomo.

01:27:14 - Jumpin' Jimmy Bonomo?

01:27:17 Hey, Aldo, she worked for Jumpin' Jimmy.

01:27:19 You remember him, nervous little guy.

01:27:22 - Sure, sure, I remember him, big-hearted, sweet guy.

01:27:25 Gave you the shooing off his back.

01:27:27 When did he die?

01:27:28 - Let's see, got to Chairman 27.

01:27:30 - I don't believe this.

01:27:31 I was a driver for Jumpin' Jimmy.

01:27:33 That was my first job in the rackets.

01:27:35 I mean, industry.

01:27:37 - That's right, Snaps.

01:27:38 (dramatic music)

01:27:40 - No.

01:27:41 - Roxy.

01:27:47 - Then you remember me?

01:27:49 - Remember you?

01:27:52 How can I forget you were my first?

01:27:54 I mean, we were, how do you like that?

01:27:58 What a small world.

01:28:00 Geez, I had a real thing for her.

01:28:02 You just disappeared on me, how come?

01:28:08 - Well, I didn't think I was working

01:28:09 in the best atmosphere to raise my baby.

01:28:12 - You had a baby?

01:28:14 - She's a big girl now.

01:28:15 In fact, she'll be getting married soon.

01:28:18 - Ah, I'm so happy for you, Roxanne.

01:28:20 Say, who's the lucky guy?

01:28:21 - Oh, he's a very successful accountant.

01:28:23 He makes 1,400 a month.

01:28:28 - Wow, that's a lot of dough.

01:28:31 Wait a minute.

01:28:33 Say, his name wouldn't happen

01:28:36 to be little Anthony Rosano, would it?

01:28:38 - You know him?

01:28:39 - Know him?

01:28:40 Sometimes I think I don't know anybody else but him.

01:28:45 Wait, then you gotta be Teresa's mother.

01:28:47 - You know Teresa too?

01:28:49 - (laughs) Well, I should.

01:28:50 After all, she's my daughter.

01:28:52 (laughs)

01:28:54 - Then you've known all along.

01:28:56 - Known what?

01:28:57 - That you and I, that we...

01:29:01 - Don't you get it, boss?

01:29:04 She had your kid.

01:29:06 Teresa really is your daughter.

01:29:08 (laughs)

01:29:09 I'm getting good at this.

01:29:11 - No, no, can't be.

01:29:13 - You seem surprised.

01:29:14 - Well, nothing this morning

01:29:15 would surprise me except this.

01:29:17 - But you said you knew that she was your daughter.

01:29:19 - I knew she said she was my daughter,

01:29:21 but I didn't think I was her father.

01:29:24 - I should have told you.

01:29:25 But I lost touch when I was sent to the convent.

01:29:30 - Come on, come on, it's okay, it's okay.

01:29:34 - This day has been an emotional rollercoaster.

01:29:37 - My father sent me to the nuns to have Teresa.

01:29:40 He said I brought shame to the family.

01:29:44 - What a blockhead he must have been.

01:29:46 - I didn't want to come on this interview

01:29:48 because I was afraid that you'd be angry.

01:29:52 - Oh, no, Roxy, I'm not angry.

01:29:55 Just don't cry, please.

01:29:57 (sobs)

01:29:59 - Angelo!

01:29:59 Who is this woman?

01:30:03 - The new maid.

01:30:05 - You don't have to be that friendly with the help.

01:30:08 Why is she crying?

01:30:11 - She's just happy to be working for us.

01:30:14 - That'll change.

01:30:17 - Come on, there's somebody I want you to meet.

01:30:24 - Who's here?

01:30:25 - Her daughter.

01:30:26 - Teresa's here?

01:30:28 But why?

01:30:30 - It all started around 8.30.

01:30:32 - Will you shut up?

01:30:33 Aldo, get Teresa.

01:30:35 Teresa!

01:30:37 Do you see what I gotta put up with around here?

01:30:39 - Mama?

01:30:40 What are you doing here?

01:30:44 - I came to see your father.

01:30:46 - Father?

01:30:47 - It's time you knew the truth.

01:30:49 You're the daughter of Snaps Provolone.

01:30:52 - Mr. Provolone?

01:30:56 Oh, Mama.

01:30:58 - Then I really can call you Dad.

01:31:02 - You do, I'm out the floor with you.

01:31:03 - Listen, everybody, we have an announcement to make.

01:31:10 - What is it, Lisa?

01:31:13 - Thornton and I are getting married.

01:31:15 - Aldo, get out a couple bottles of champagne.

01:31:18 We're gonna celebrate.

01:31:19 - My baby.

01:31:21 - My girl.

01:31:23 - Congratulations, Doc.

01:31:27 Will there be a honeymoon following?

01:31:29 - Watch it there, Connie.

01:31:31 You've got a dangling participle.

01:31:33 - Let's just get this over with.

01:31:46 I have to get back to the office and turn down a loan.

01:31:49 (car horn honking)

01:32:00 - Are you sure about this one, Lieutenant?

01:32:02 - Hey, to me.

01:32:04 You better get over here.

01:32:05 Here come the big boys.

01:32:11 It's the opinion gang, all right.

01:32:14 - Well, obviously they're expecting us.

01:32:16 - This turned out to be a wonderful day after all.

01:32:24 Both my girls are getting married.

01:32:26 - What do you mean, both?

01:32:29 - Sophia, my wife.

01:32:31 Meet Teresa, my daughter.

01:32:34 - Your daughter?

01:32:35 - I just found out myself.

01:32:38 - Me too.

01:32:39 - She's your daughter.

01:32:41 Who's her mother?

01:32:42 - I am.

01:32:43 - You had a child with the new maid?

01:32:47 - Pardon me.

01:32:48 Have we come at a bad time?

01:32:52 - No, gentlemen, come in.

01:32:55 - Here's the bubbly, boss.

01:32:58 - Although I'm shocked you know liquor's against the law.

01:33:01 Didn't you ever hear of prohibition?

01:33:03 - I did, what do you think paid for this house?

01:33:06 - Ick's Nane's Uzbe, Anker's Bay.

01:33:09 - Oh, we just keep this in the house for yacht christenings.

01:33:15 - It's so difficult to find good help these days.

01:33:19 - Now, if you don't mind,

01:33:25 I got some business to conduct with these gentlemen.

01:33:28 (dramatic music)

01:33:29 (phone ringing)

01:33:32 - Yeah.

01:33:33 - I have a collect call for Mr. Five Spot.

01:33:34 Charlie, will you accept the nickel charge?

01:33:36 - Yeah, put him on.

01:33:37 - Hello, Mr. Vendetti?

01:33:44 - What do you got for me, Five Spot?

01:33:45 - Well, it's happening, Mr. Vendetti.

01:33:48 Just like we thought.

01:33:51 Four tough customers just went into...

01:33:54 (whispering)

01:33:57 Snaps place.

01:33:58 - Thanks, Five Spot, there's a C-note in it for you.

01:34:01 - A C-note?

01:34:02 Gee, thanks, thanks, thanks.

01:34:04 - That's Sinchez, he's hooking up with a band.

01:34:09 Okay, we're moving on Provolone, we're moving now.

01:34:12 - C-note?

01:34:12 - Order off a pizza, we'll be back in an hour.

01:34:16 (dramatic music)

01:34:20 (tires screeching)

01:34:23 - Where do you see your office downtown?

01:34:27 - You'll have a secretary, a telephone,

01:34:30 beautiful view of the harbor.

01:34:32 - And a key to the executive lounge.

01:34:35 - But not a vote on the board.

01:34:37 - What?

01:34:38 - Let me see that.

01:34:40 - Well, we thought you might serve

01:34:43 in more of an advisory capacity.

01:34:45 - Just until you learn the ropes, that is.

01:34:48 - As sort of a silent partner.

01:34:51 - Correct me if I'm wrong,

01:34:53 but I think for the dough that I am putting in,

01:34:56 I deserve a vote.

01:34:57 - And with all due respect, gentlemen,

01:34:59 may I call your attention to addendum B?

01:35:01 - Oh, that.

01:35:03 That simply absolves the bank of any liability.

01:35:06 - Yes, should Mr. Provolone.

01:35:09 - Should Mr. Provolone what?

01:35:11 - Incur any legal difficulties.

01:35:14 - Let's not beat around the bush,

01:35:15 we all know what kind of background he comes from.

01:35:19 - You hit me.

01:35:20 It sounds like they don't trust me.

01:35:22 - Not according to this.

01:35:24 - No, Mr. Provolone,

01:35:27 these clauses are as much for your protection as ours.

01:35:33 Now, if you just sign this, please.

01:35:36 - All right, grab some sky hoods and hold it.

01:35:41 Drill the first rat that makes a move.

01:35:45 - Lieutenant, what a pleasant surprise.

01:35:49 - I'll bet.

01:35:50 - I was just saying to Sophia this morning

01:35:53 that we gotta have the two of us over for tea.

01:35:56 (laughing)

01:35:58 - You don't really think we're in business

01:35:59 with these people, do you, officer?

01:36:01 - We're only here because he threatened us.

01:36:04 - That's right, he threatened to put the arm on us.

01:36:06 - Save your breath, fingers.

01:36:09 Fingers for Shetty O'Banion's trigger man.

01:36:12 (guns cocking)

01:36:14 - It's a privilege to watch your mind work, Tommy.

01:36:17 - Thank you.

01:36:18 - And this, gentlemen,

01:36:27 is the infamous Sid the Shiv Saperstein.

01:36:31 - I beg your pardon?

01:36:33 - Hey, Sid, say chief.

01:36:34 - You gotta take a look at these, lieutenant.

01:36:40 - Yeah, University Club, Harvard Alumni Club,

01:36:43 Republican National Committee.

01:36:45 - Wait a minute.

01:36:46 The City Commerce Board of Directors,

01:36:48 City Trade Association Board of Directors,

01:36:51 the State Financial Advisory Board,

01:36:53 Committee to Re-elect Herbert Hoover,

01:36:55 East Side Athletic Club,

01:36:57 and two tickets to the Policeman's Ball.

01:36:59 Hey, you guys are legit.

01:37:03 This is the greatest job of forgery I've ever seen.

01:37:06 - I hope you're satisfied, officer.

01:37:08 - Gee, Tommy had me convinced he was fingers for Shetty.

01:37:12 - Don't add up.

01:37:14 Why would Snaps Provolone be meeting with four bankers?

01:37:17 - Maybe I was slumming.

01:37:18 - Clam it, Snaps.

01:37:19 I got it!

01:37:23 The bag!

01:37:24 Fan out, boys.

01:37:27 Find that little black bag.

01:37:28 The one that's been coming in and out of his house all day.

01:37:32 - What's the matter, Snaps?

01:37:33 Nervous?

01:37:34 (whistling)

01:37:39 - Lieutenant!

01:37:42 - Found it.

01:37:42 Just as I figured.

01:37:46 Seems that our friend Snaps here

01:37:48 has been laundering mob money through their bank.

01:37:51 And here's your proof.

01:37:53 Get your cameras ready, boys.

01:37:55 Boys, this is gonna make me look good downtown.

01:38:00 (laughing)

01:38:02 Get out of my way!

01:38:07 - Well, boys, he got the laundry part right.

01:38:10 (laughing)

01:38:12 - I hate to say I told you so,

01:38:17 but that's what we get for going into business with a crook.

01:38:20 - I'm a crook?

01:38:22 You come into my house with your fine print and addendums

01:38:27 and try to con me out of my dome?

01:38:29 Geez, I'm used to dealing with mobsters,

01:38:31 bootleggers, and gunsles, but you bankers?

01:38:34 Scary.

01:38:36 - I have never been so insulted in all my life.

01:38:39 - Wait, you're young yet.

01:38:41 - It all came out in the wash, didn't it, Jules?

01:38:44 - Yeah, I didn't know you collected ladies' underwear.

01:38:46 - Don't worry, Toomey,

01:38:47 maybe they'll give you a job as a bank guard.

01:38:49 - Yeah, yeah, shove off, you bums.

01:38:52 - We hit 'em fast and hard.

01:38:54 Nobody gets out alive.

01:38:56 (dramatic music)

01:38:59 - Step on it, doogan.

01:39:02 (gunshot)

01:39:06 (men shouting)

01:39:08 - You all right, Lieutenant?

01:39:13 (door slams)

01:39:16 - All right, all right, out of the way.

01:39:24 - Well, well, Mr. Vendetti.

01:39:28 - Hiya, Toomey.

01:39:31 - All right, boys, take 'em in.

01:39:35 (cash register rings)

01:39:38 - Anthony, I like the way you handled yourself in here today.

01:39:43 - Thank you, sir.

01:39:44 - And I'm making you Chief Financial Officer

01:39:46 of Prevalone Enterprises, Inc.

01:39:48 - Sir.

01:39:49 - Dad, what an honor.

01:39:51 - So we back in business, Mr. Prevalone?

01:39:54 - Forget that Mr. Prevalone stuff.

01:39:55 From now on, call me boss.

01:39:57 - Yes, boss!

01:39:58 - Sorry, Papa, I did the best I could.

01:40:03 (dramatic music)

01:40:06 - Do you, Lisa and Teresa,

01:40:31 take Thornton and Anthony

01:40:34 to be your lawfully wedded husbands?

01:40:37 - I do.

01:40:38 I do.

01:40:40 - If anyone among you has reasons to doubt

01:40:44 that these unions should take place,

01:40:47 let him speak now or forever hold his peace.

01:40:50 (women gasp)

01:40:52 - Stop!

01:40:53 - Who are you?

01:41:00 - I'm Oscar.

01:41:01 - Get rid of him.

01:41:03 - Expeditiously.

01:41:05 - You got it.

01:41:06 (dramatic music)

01:41:10 - No, grab his feet!

01:41:11 (dramatic music)

01:41:14 - Then I now pronounce you man and wife.

01:41:21 You may kiss the brides.

01:41:23 (dramatic music)

01:41:25 (upbeat music)

01:41:28 (upbeat music)

Transcript

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