1,800-Mile Beater Rally!
The 24 Hours of LeMons people have a new rally series
Category
🚗
MotorTranscript
00:00 This time on Roadkill, it's the Lemons Rally,
00:02 where we're going a long distance in short order.
00:05 Yeah, halfway across America in half a Lincoln.
00:09 The wrong half, by the way.
00:11 Whoa!
00:12 [laughing]
00:14 [engine revving]
00:16 [tires screeching]
00:18 [tires screeching]
00:20 [rock music]
00:23 ♪
00:31 [tires screeching]
00:34 [upbeat music]
00:37 ♪
00:41 How did you find this car?
00:43 I found this on Craigslist
00:45 the day that we arrived in town.
00:47 Ooh, look at these.
00:49 This is definitely a fly-in,
00:51 buy it on a whim, and road trip it.
00:53 So you've not driven it.
00:54 Oh, no.
00:55 Oh, perfect.
00:56 I saved that for you.
00:57 Perfect.
00:58 Don't die.
00:59 Wait till we're in the car for that.
01:01 Which one of these classic beauties are we taking?
01:03 I have to admit, I went straight to it.
01:06 This is the missing link.
01:07 Check it out.
01:08 Dude, is that a Lieutenant Dan?
01:09 I don't know, is it?
01:10 This was a four-door.
01:12 Uh-huh.
01:13 It's a '78 Lincoln Continental.
01:15 Wow.
01:16 And it was a four-door, and now it's a two-door.
01:19 Whoa.
01:21 Looks like it's done well.
01:22 Like, this might not kill us.
01:24 Where is it grafted?
01:26 'Cause it looks stock, the paint.
01:28 We really can't screw this up.
01:30 How much was this?
01:32 $3,500.
01:33 [laughter]
01:35 Oh, we got chrome.
01:37 Yeah.
01:38 It's the 400M with 1850, with Performer intake.
01:41 How's it smell inside?
01:43 I don't know, I haven't been there.
01:45 Factory electric bench, and it still works.
01:47 Uh-huh.
01:48 Oh, I didn't notice these.
01:49 Six by nine behind your head.
01:52 Oh, wow.
01:55 Who paints a cow blue?
01:57 Who paints a cow blue?
01:59 What is that?
02:01 [laughter]
02:02 I have no idea.
02:04 Oh, that's disgusting.
02:05 What is it?
02:06 I'm not touching it, I don't know.
02:08 It looks natural, except for the part that looks like guts.
02:14 What is this?
02:15 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
02:16 Wait.
02:17 Who's Vic Lanza?
02:18 Vince Lanza.
02:19 It's a head shot for some guy from PA.
02:23 You need to call him, get your phone.
02:25 No.
02:26 This could be his car, he could have been a star.
02:28 Wait, wait, wait, we were supposed to have a mascot
02:30 for this trip, we have one now.
02:31 There you go, Vince Lanza.
02:33 Going everywhere with us.
02:35 Vince is our man.
02:36 So you know our buddies from 24 Hours of Lemons?
02:38 Normally they do endurance races
02:40 with completely clopped out garbage,
02:42 but they've got this new thing designed
02:44 to torture people even more.
02:45 It is a rally, and we're going for a mile.
02:48 From Moscow, Pennsylvania, down to Birmingham, Alabama.
02:53 The whole goal is to have the worst car possible.
02:56 So in typical Roadkill fashion,
02:57 we looked for weeks about what car we were gonna get,
03:00 and I totally failed.
03:01 So yesterday I flew into town and found this.
03:04 And I think it proves that fate is always right.
03:07 This is a '78 Lincoln Continental.
03:09 It was a four-door, it's now a two-door.
03:11 They've shortened it this much.
03:14 And the only concern is that it might be too reliable,
03:18 but it's certainly sufficiently terrible.
03:20 Am I looking forward to spending a week
03:23 in the missing link?
03:26 Yeah, yeah.
03:27 I mean, we have a mascot, we have an audio system
03:29 that may or may not try to kill us,
03:31 'cause I don't think the 6x9s are actually bolted down.
03:33 But, uh, yeah, I think we'll be all right.
03:36 Ugh, the cooties.
03:38 The level is pretty extreme.
03:40 I don't see my seatbelt.
03:42 I don't really want to reach in there either.
03:43 I know. There you go.
03:45 Ew!
03:46 Oh, it's moldy!
03:48 Yuck.
03:50 That's disgusting. Get some gaff tape.
03:53 Encapsulate the mold.
03:56 ( laughing )
03:58 All right, ready?
03:59 No, hold on.
04:01 All right, Vince.
04:03 Let's go.
04:06 ( engine starting )
04:07 Ooh, sound of power and belt squeal.
04:15 - Oh! - Yeah!
04:17 Stretch!
04:18 Dude. Oh, we're winning at life right now.
04:21 Yeah, this thing runs pretty hard.
04:22 Think of the stories the interior of this car could tell.
04:25 I don't want to hear them, their horror stories.
04:27 Like, this is a show car, right?
04:29 Whoever built this wanted trophies.
04:32 Where did those trophies go? Where did they end up?
04:34 I don't want to know what kind of trophies
04:36 were collected with this car.
04:38 And I don't want to touch the steering wheel cover either.
04:40 - It's disgusting. - How about these?
04:42 - Ah! Tingle balls! - ( laughing )
04:44 No!
04:46 Oh, wait, where did it go? Where did it go?
04:48 - Oh! - ( screaming )
04:51 - Yeah! - ( screaming )
04:53 Is that all of it?
04:55 ( laughing )
04:57 I feel like I need to roll the window down
04:59 and bathe in bleach.
05:01 I feel like it's just musty in here.
05:03 - Spores? - Yeah.
05:05 I think that's all of Pennsylvania.
05:07 I think it's all of the East Coast.
05:08 We're not used to cars that get water in them.
05:10 Like, remember the Wambulance that was flooded?
05:12 - That was disgusting. - I kind of feel like
05:14 we have the same level of sporeage in here.
05:17 ( laughing )
05:19 - It has an augua horn. - Oh, that's great.
05:22 - I think we're gonna have fun in this. - I think we are.
05:24 There's an ossiphore behind me.
05:31 Try not to swerve so much.
05:33 Oh, we have no plate. We're getting pulled over.
05:35 Can I open the door? The window doesn't work.
05:37 - How's it going? - I'm gonna have to get a thing on the license plate.
05:42 I know. We just bought this thing today.
05:44 Here's the insurance.
05:46 There's the title and a bill of sale.
05:49 - I'll just give you a warning. - Thank you.
05:52 The price that we paid on this, I'm surprised it didn't go,
05:55 "Wow, you guys got ripped off."
05:57 - I'm just gonna give you a warning. - Yeah.
05:59 You've already paid your dues.
06:01 The first couple hours with a missing link, pretty good.
06:11 I mean, the wipers work, the lights kind of work.
06:13 It runs terrible on the highway.
06:15 It's like the carburetor is either starving for fuel
06:18 or maybe glugging a bunch of fuel, but I'm thinking starving.
06:21 But that's not really important right now because it's really cold.
06:24 So we'll wait till it's snowing and we're at the side of the road
06:26 in order to fix that.
06:28 Tomorrow morning, tech inspection for the 24 Hours of Lemons rally.
06:31 So let's see. We drove, I don't know, two hours today.
06:34 What is that, 20 miles for roadkill?
06:36 But we've got to do 1,000-ish miles over the next five days
06:39 getting from here to New York, down to Tennessee,
06:42 and eventually to Alabama.
06:44 We'll be okay.
06:45 Oh, it's starting to slow down.
07:07 - Fix it. - We might have to actually fix this.
07:10 - Okay, hold on. You stay warm. - I will.
07:12 - I'll get out. - Okay.
07:14 I smell gas.
07:16 I'm actually going to have to crawl in there. This car is so big.
07:19 Slowing down.
07:28 Notice how this thing fired up perfectly when we bought it?
07:31 It was only about 10 degrees warmer then. You would think it would be good.
07:34 But this thing was progressively running worse and worse throughout the day.
07:38 And now it won't fire. I think it's 7 a.m.
07:40 And this whole shebang hits the road at 9.
07:43 And it's about half an hour from here.
07:45 So basically, we need to get this thing running within the next 45 minutes
07:49 or we're completely blowing the start of the Lemons rally.
07:52 Freiberger used all of his detective skills
07:59 to figure out that the magnetic pickup inside of the distributor
08:02 spontaneously died while the car was parked overnight.
08:05 Actually, we just spent four hours exhausting all of the other possibilities
08:09 before finally stumbling on the fix.
08:12 We changed the coil, the Dura-Spark module.
08:14 We even put a brand-new MSD ignition box in the car
08:18 before we realized that pickup was dead.
08:21 The first leg of this ridiculous rally
08:26 has us driving north up to a checkpoint in Buffalo, New York,
08:29 then turning back south to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania,
08:32 which means we need to hit the road as soon as possible.
08:35 The caravan of road rally participants has already left Moscow.
08:39 So Eric from Lemons had to stop by our hotel parking lot,
08:43 register us, and give us wristbands.
08:46 Otherwise, we're pretty much not even in this deal.
08:49 And I'm pretty sure that no matter how hard we try,
08:52 we aren't gonna win this deal after failing so miserably on day one.
08:57 [beeping]
08:59 [engine revving]
09:02 - Fixed.
09:04 - All right, ready for the wiper?
09:06 - Please work.
09:08 - Yay!
09:11 [upbeat music]
09:14 ♪
09:16 - It doesn't sound good, but it's working.
09:18 ♪
09:20 - I hope that's not wide open.
09:22 - Yes! - Yes, it's good to go!
09:25 [laughing]
09:27 [tires screeching]
09:29 [engine revving]
09:31 - Things are pretty good now that the tire sizes
09:33 match from side to side.
09:35 It doesn't wander like this on the freeway quite as much.
09:37 We got a 33 by 12 50 15 on the back,
09:40 so it's got more ground clearance,
09:42 and the tune-up is, at best, no worse.
09:45 - It's ready for nitro. - Yeah.
09:47 It's really--it's not too bad, so I think we're gonna be able
09:50 to make some time now.
09:52 [upbeat music]
09:55 ♪
09:57 - I think my door's shut.
10:00 Do you need one of these?
10:02 - [laughs] No, I've got one.
10:05 [engine revving]
10:07 - All right, well, that's just as far as it shuts.
10:09 [music ends]
10:11 - Well, we're cruising the thing on the highway,
10:14 and it starts to surge really bad.
10:16 - Hey, maybe these were touching each other.
10:18 - Those might have been, yeah.
10:20 Yeah.
10:22 We're skipping Buffalo. We're going straight to Pittsburgh.
10:24 We've been driving for a while. Everything seems to be great,
10:27 except we can barely see out the windshield
10:29 'cause the wipers are junk.
10:31 But then we swap drivers. Finnegan's cruising along.
10:34 All of a sudden, it starts to, like, misfire and surge.
10:37 We thought it was a fuel problem,
10:39 could have been ignition,
10:41 and now we're guessing that the two magnetic pickup wires,
10:44 which we didn't tape when we were freezing this morning,
10:47 are probably blowing into each other,
10:49 and when they do that,
10:51 you don't get a signal out of the distributor,
10:53 and it doesn't spark right.
10:55 And so we're gonna do what we should have done hours ago
10:58 and tape these up really ugly with gloved fingers,
11:01 and it will be solved.
11:03 [dramatic music]
11:05 We thought we had the car completely dialed in,
11:08 but you know better than that.
11:10 All of a sudden, the Lincoln just started running terrible
11:13 outside of Pittsburgh.
11:15 In fact, it was sputtering so bad
11:17 that it wouldn't even drive uphill.
11:19 Do you think the charging system doesn't work?
11:21 We're running out of battery? - Oh, is the battery dead?
11:23 - Well, it started fine at that last stop.
11:25 - Yeah, it did. Now...
11:27 - This is a throttle position thing.
11:29 We're good. We're finishing this.
11:31 We've never finished a Lemons event.
11:33 We're finishing this one.
11:35 - There's just, like, a mist of fuel in the bowl.
11:37 Oh, it died. Oh, we're boned.
11:39 - Wait, wait, wait.
11:41 - Oh, no, you're stopping in the middle of the road.
11:43 - We're good, we're good. - Yep.
11:48 - It idles fine.
11:50 - Yeah, just let it idle up the hill.
11:52 - Don't mind, it's only three miles this way.
11:54 We thought we fixed it
11:56 when we taped those wires under the hood,
11:58 but it's now surging and starving so badly
12:01 that it basically won't drive.
12:03 And I think all signs point to fuel starvation,
12:06 so we need to have a look at the carburetor,
12:08 have a look at the fuel filter,
12:10 smack it with a rock, et cetera.
12:21 - So, fuel filter, zip-tied the cap,
12:24 fixed the battery connections.
12:26 Good enough for a burrito time.
12:28 - It's practically overhauled. Let's do this.
12:30 Oh, we got a new car.
12:36 - Yeah, it's pretty good. - Yeah.
12:38 - How will we know if it's fixed?
12:40 - Endurance test?
12:42 - Is it breaking up with RPM?
12:49 - Flattening the valves? - Might be.
12:52 - Oh, it's breaking up.
12:54 - Want to go the other direction?
12:56 - Yeah, I think so, 'cause maybe the float bowl slosh
12:59 needs to be identified.
13:01 No, I think it's okay.
13:03 Oh, wait. Running rough, isn't it?
13:05 - I don't know. It's hard to tell
13:07 when you're having this much fun.
13:09 [laughs]
13:11 - Um...
13:13 I think it's sustainable. I think we're good.
13:16 - Yeah. That was a good endurance test, I think.
13:19 - Yeah.
13:21 [upbeat music]
13:24 ♪ ♪
13:31 - Ugh.
13:37 I never want to do that again.
13:40 - 12 hours to go not even 300 miles,
13:43 and tomorrow it's double that.
13:45 - I never want to drive in Pennsylvania
13:47 in the dark with mud on the windshield again.
13:50 - What do you mean? You didn't like all those tunnels
13:52 going blind? - Dude, there isn't
13:54 a straight line in the state. [laughs]
13:56 It's a good thing we bypassed Buffalo, New York today,
13:58 because we wouldn't be here for another, like, ten hours.
14:01 We're in Pittsburgh now, which is the first night stop
14:04 on the 24 Hours of Lemons rally.
14:06 Tomorrow we're gonna wake up in, like, four or five hours
14:09 and do it all again, hopefully with not so much braking.
14:12 But there will be, because Roadkill.
14:15 [upbeat music]
14:18 ♪ ♪
14:25 - Feel all lemony fresh and ready to go?
14:28 - Oh, I'm ready to see America. - Yeah?
14:30 Where are we going today? - We're going to Asheville.
14:32 - Asheville? North Carolina?
14:34 - 'Cause, you know, we ditched Buffalo.
14:36 - What's with all the, like, love letters?
14:38 - Fryburger and Finnegan. Can't wait to see
14:40 this episode of "Roadkill." Hope you guys can enjoy
14:42 a Primanti Bros. sandwich...
14:45 sponsor...
14:47 before you leave Pittsburgh.
14:49 Good luck on the stupid holes.
14:51 Rest of the rally. Big fan. Yasko.
14:53 - All right, and this says,
14:55 "Roadkill sucks. Officer Stobes."
14:58 And this is a vehicle impounding inventory sheet.
15:02 - I'll pop your clutch anytime.
15:04 A-T-R. - I don't want to meet A-T-R.
15:07 - What if she's hot?
15:09 [rock music]
15:12 ♪ ♪
15:17 - So today's drive is 475 miles.
15:21 - Oh, cool. - Oh, cool.
15:23 That's, like, 20 hours in "Roadkill" time.
15:26 - I thought it was 500-plus miles.
15:28 - Well, tomorrow. - This is better.
15:30 ♪ ♪
15:34 - Up till now, we've been so far behind
15:36 that we haven't really been hanging out
15:38 with other LeMons cars, but we've started
15:40 to see some competitors on the road
15:42 and the Lincoln was running good,
15:44 and we were headed to West Virginia
15:46 for our very first points-earning checkpoint.
15:49 - Do you think Vince ever thought
15:51 he'd be in the same room as Don freaking Knotts?
15:53 - Probably not. Co-starring.
15:56 This is our very first checkpoint on the LeMons rally.
15:59 It says, "Day 2. Cue the banjo music."
16:01 That's a West Virginia joke. That's where we are.
16:03 Morgantown, West Virginia. We just got 20 points.
16:05 - We're now officially on the rally.
16:07 - Yeah. - He's staring at you,
16:09 and he's drooling. - [laughs]
16:11 - Next checkpoint is the Dairy Queen Eskimo girl.
16:14 - Oh. - A lot of politically incorrect
16:16 in that statement. - Yeah.
16:18 ♪ ♪
16:25 - How many points did we get for this one?
16:34 - I don't remember.
16:36 - Let's go.
16:38 ♪ ♪
16:44 - It's Bristol, Virginia,
16:56 and this is the very last checkpoint of the night,
16:58 and we have new resolve.
17:00 We started doing the math and realized
17:02 we actually stand a chance to win this thing,
17:04 and so that's our new mission.
17:06 We're gonna get these points at the last checkpoint here,
17:08 which is a burger bar that's apparently
17:10 the place where Hank Williams
17:12 passed up his very last meal.
17:15 - What do you mean, drove right by it, or...
17:17 - I would, yeah. - Oh, okay.
17:19 - It makes no sense to me either,
17:21 but apparently there's a bunch of "Roadkill" fans over here
17:23 who've been waiting two hours for us to show up,
17:25 which was not a guarantee whatsoever.
17:28 Let's go visit fans and get our 20 points
17:30 for seeing where Hank Williams didn't eat food.
17:33 [upbeat music]
17:36 ♪ ♪
17:41 [bells jingling]
17:44 ♪ ♪
17:51 - So it's Thursday morning. We're leaving here.
17:53 It's Asheville, North Carolina.
17:55 We're going to Memphis today, and they do have
17:57 another challenge today, which is if you can stop
17:59 at six Waffle Houses and buy two waffles each,
18:03 you get points for each waffle,
18:05 and you can collect 240 points,
18:07 which is about what we need, because here comes the good news.
18:10 By my dead reckoning, unofficial,
18:12 we're in fourth place.
18:14 ♪ ♪
18:18 - When we win... - Yeah.
18:20 - How will you celebrate?
18:22 - Going home and sleeping.
18:25 ♪ ♪
18:29 Oh, there's a Waffle House here. Perfect.
18:32 I strategized last night,
18:34 and I actually looked at the map and figured out
18:36 the Waffle Houses that were the closest to the 40 freeway,
18:39 and here we are, like, five minutes into our trip.
18:41 We've already hit two of them, and there's another one
18:43 11 minutes away, so that's three.
18:45 We're required to hit six. We're required to buy
18:47 two waffles at each one with receipt, with photo,
18:50 but I think we're gonna stock up on waffles.
18:52 This is not gonna be pretty.
18:54 ♪ ♪
18:57 Waffles.
18:58 Resisting the urge to eat these.
19:00 Okay, we need to do actual strategy here.
19:03 The leader guy has 1305,
19:08 and we have 1048.
19:12 - He told me he intends to do "Tale of the Dragon."
19:15 - Yeah, he did. - It's a guaranteed, what,
19:17 100 points? - It's a guaranteed 100 points.
19:19 - I'm betting if he does that, he doesn't make it
19:21 to the party tonight. - Right.
19:23 If we do "Tale of the Dragon,"
19:26 we know that we get 100 points.
19:29 We get 100 points for finishing the day,
19:31 which he will, too, so I won't even count.
19:33 And then if we get all of our waffles,
19:35 we get 240 points, so that's 340.
19:39 - He'll do the same, though. He'll get the waffles
19:41 and he'll do "Tale of the Dragon."
19:42 He's committed, dude. Look at that car.
19:43 - You think he'll do both? Well, he's in the lead.
19:45 - Look at that car. - He could always break down, too.
19:47 - He'd break in half. That's a long car.
19:49 - That thing's clapped.
19:51 ♪ ♪
19:55 ♪ ♪
19:59 - 50 waffles.
20:16 We only needed six, but I believe in going big.
20:19 This will offset the mold smell.
20:21 - Yeah, you're right. That's a lot of waffles.
20:24 ♪ ♪
20:26 - We're heading to "Tale of the Dragon."
20:28 We'll check back in later when we're ready to vomit.
20:31 So we entered in 18 curves in 11 miles.
20:34 Whoo-hoo!
20:36 ♪ ♪
20:41 ♪ ♪
20:45 - Oh, hey, look. Lookout.
21:04 Curb.
21:08 - Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho. - You forgot about that.
21:11 - [laughs]
21:12 - Didn't we just mention that?
21:15 - [laughs]
21:18 - Are we about to have a waffle fight right now?
21:20 'Cause I'm not afraid, man. I'm not afraid at all.
21:23 ♪ ♪
21:26 - Oh, s--t.
21:28 - There's only syrup in one package.
21:30 [laughs]
21:32 ♪ ♪
21:34 - [laughs]
21:36 ♪ ♪
21:39 - [laughs]
21:42 ♪ ♪
21:46 - [laughs]
21:47 - We have to drive this car.
21:49 Oh, that one's nasty.
21:51 You're picking all of this up.
21:53 - [laughs]
21:54 - Peace.
21:55 Oh, great. Now we have to drive this.
21:58 - [laughs]
21:59 - Ah.
22:01 ♪ ♪
22:04 I think he won.
22:06 ♪ ♪
22:10 - We finally caught up with the pack,
22:12 and we're actually part of this deal.
22:13 - I know.
22:14 - There's a big group of cars here.
22:15 This is Deals Gap,
22:16 the start of "The Tale of the Dragon."
22:18 It is 318 turns and 11 miles.
22:20 It's gonna be really gnarly,
22:22 and I cannot wait to see the limo.
22:24 I want to leave behind the limo.
22:25 - You want to be behind the limo?
22:26 - Maybe right ahead of the limo.
22:27 - Yeah, yeah.
22:28 - 'Cause it's gonna be bad.
22:29 The three-wheeler's in, I think, second place this morning.
22:32 He's on the trailer, though.
22:33 If you have two ramps,
22:34 how do you get that off a trailer?
22:36 - It's got three wheels.
22:37 - Use the Porsche.
22:38 - This is a Reliant Regal.
22:41 It's an English car, I believe.
22:43 - What a funny little car.
22:44 - That is nut balls.
22:45 But he doesn't have 50 waffles.
22:47 - No.
22:48 ♪ ♪
22:51 [engine revving]
22:54 ♪ ♪
23:02 ♪ ♪
23:07 - This isn't so bad.
23:08 - Yep.
23:10 ♪ ♪
23:15 [tires screeching]
23:18 ♪ ♪
23:25 - [yells]
23:29 ♪ ♪
23:35 - Why did somebody need to build this road?
23:37 - No idea.
23:38 - Is there no other way to get somewhere?
23:40 - Get to there.
23:41 - Still?
23:42 - Yeah, I'm glad it's here, but...
23:44 ♪ ♪
23:47 I got a waffle around me.
23:49 - Might have a little football slosh, too.
23:51 - What is this?
23:52 - What?
23:53 - What is this?
23:54 - Yuck.
23:56 ♪ ♪
24:03 ♪ ♪
24:19 - I was dedicated to winning yesterday
24:21 until I saw the points standings,
24:24 and we are currently in seventh.
24:25 - I'm just happy if we finish.
24:27 - Yeah.
24:28 - 'Cause we've not done that yet.
24:29 - It'll be the first 24 Hours of Lemon's event
24:31 we've ever finished.
24:32 Can we agree on a waffle truce today?
24:34 ♪ ♪
24:36 - Sure.
24:37 - [laughs]
24:38 I don't trust you.
24:40 - What have I ever done to not earn your trust?
24:42 It's not like I've hosed you out
24:44 while peeing in an outhouse floating on a lake
24:47 or hit you with a snowball while peeing
24:49 in an outhouse on the side of the road.
24:51 Not like I've ever done those things.
24:53 - I said "waffle truce" yesterday,
24:53 and yet I continue to receive waffles in the face.
24:55 Oh, look.
24:56 - Are they frozen?
24:57 - The waffle is stuck to the container.
24:59 I'm gonna check the waffle scenario.
25:02 Oh, it's not good.
25:05 - You said "truce."
25:06 [cheers and applause]
25:08 [laughter]
25:11 - ♪ Sweet home Alabama ♪
25:16 ♪ ♪
25:18 - Are you prepared for waffles everywhere?
25:22 - I'm kind of hungry.
25:22 - Sure.
25:23 We got, like, two hours before we have to beat the event,
25:26 and we have off-road tires,
25:28 so I think you know what's gonna happen.
25:30 ♪ ♪
25:32 Ooh, gravel pit action.
25:34 - A little water.
25:35 - Ooh, there's water.
25:36 - Try the e-brake.
25:37 - Oh, this is gonna be good.
25:39 - Oh!
25:40 [laughter]
25:42 - I want to drive. I'm jealous.
25:44 [engine revving]
25:46 - [laughs]
25:49 ♪ ♪
25:53 - Oh, there's water over here.
25:55 - Hold on, man. Hold on.
25:57 - [laughs]
25:58 Oh, we're gonna die!
26:00 ♪ ♪
26:05 - Oh!
26:06 - [laughs]
26:08 ♪ ♪
26:11 - This car will never be the same.
26:13 Oh, back from where--
26:15 [laughter]
26:17 - Oh, it died.
26:18 [laughs]
26:20 Oh, hear that?
26:21 The fan's hitting the radiator.
26:23 - You might want to shut it off.
26:24 - Nah.
26:25 [engine revving]
26:27 - Just the shroud.
26:28 - Just the shroud. We're fine.
26:30 [engine revving]
26:31 - So our non-affixed battery
26:33 fell into our half-affixed shroud,
26:35 which is now hitting the fan.
26:37 - Fixed.
26:38 - It's wintertime.
26:39 I guess you don't need that, right?
26:40 - No. Totally optional.
26:42 - Let's move the battery over a little bit.
26:43 There we go.
26:44 - Oh, that's a little bit of a problem.
26:46 - All right, your turn.
26:47 - Yes.
26:48 [engine revving]
26:50 [dramatic music]
26:53 ♪ ♪
27:00 - Ah!
27:05 Whoa!
27:06 [laughter]
27:08 That was the roll over right there.
27:11 There we go.
27:14 Uh-oh.
27:15 Oh!
27:16 [engine revving]
27:19 ♪ ♪
27:22 Oh, goose it!
27:23 Oh, no!
27:24 [laughter]
27:26 It's gravel, not mud. We're fine.
27:28 [engine revving]
27:30 - Did the battery come disconnected?
27:32 - Nah.
27:33 Cars don't start when the battery's disconnected.
27:36 Oh!
27:37 Yeah, we're good.
27:39 [engine revving]
27:42 ♪ ♪
27:49 [engine revving]
27:52 Oh!
27:53 We still need to drive this two hours today.
27:55 - What two hours?
27:56 - Here we go!
27:58 Oh!
27:59 - I didn't--
28:00 - Oh, we lost a speaker.
28:02 Glad that didn't go for the skull.
28:04 - Now we only have mono.
28:06 - Apparently it was only held down by the wire.
28:08 [engine revving]
28:11 ♪ ♪
28:17 - We need more speed to get through this.
28:19 - That's a good call.
28:21 - Yeah.
28:22 - That's that noise.
28:23 [engine revving]
28:26 ♪ ♪
28:29 - Is that a bumper?
28:30 Oh, no!
28:31 You're kidding me!
28:33 [laughter]
28:36 ♪ ♪
28:41 - I think our exhaust might have fallen off, too.
28:43 - Maybe.
28:44 I'm making it this time.
28:45 - Okay.
28:46 ♪ ♪
28:53 - Oh!
28:54 - I forgot.
28:55 - Yeah, we definitely forgot.
28:56 - On the carburetor swash?
28:58 Oh, there's water on my butt!
29:00 Stop!
29:01 What is on me?
29:03 Something broke open somewhere.
29:06 [laughter]
29:07 What happened?
29:09 [laughter]
29:11 - You made it all the way through, though.
29:12 - Ow, that hurts!
29:14 [laughter]
29:16 Why am I wet?
29:17 - Why am I wet?
29:18 [laughter]
29:19 [engine revving]
29:22 ♪ ♪
29:24 - Oh, it sounds better.
29:25 - Yeah, it does.
29:26 I don't think it'll go straight, though.
29:27 Oh, it's idling pretty fast.
29:29 [engine revving]
29:31 - Oh!
29:32 - Wow.
29:33 - All right, we can drive like this.
29:34 - Yeah.
29:35 [engine revving]
29:38 Don't get it stuck!
29:40 Back up!
29:41 There you go.
29:43 There you go.
29:45 Wow, that looks good.
29:48 [laughs]
29:50 This is what goes wrong
29:51 when we have too much time on our hands.
29:53 We can't involve today to the racetrack.
29:54 We've still got about an hour and a half to drive,
29:56 but we're like, "Man, it's the middle of the day.
29:58 We don't have to be there until 7."
29:59 We have off-road tires.
30:00 We'll go off-roading.
30:01 We end up hurting stuff.
30:02 I think we're still good, though.
30:03 We're gonna make it.
30:05 Okay, I know there's a whole bunch of audience
30:07 that's gonna look at this and go,
30:08 "How could you do that?"
30:09 to this car?
30:10 "How could you ruin it?"
30:11 Well, here's the thing.
30:12 This whole car is basically bondoed over rust.
30:15 Like, the whole thing.
30:17 It's gutted everywhere.
30:19 This is no big loss.
30:21 [engine revving]
30:24 [upbeat music]
30:29 ♪ ♪
30:35 You know what?
30:36 We didn't break the car off-roading,
30:38 but we still have an opportunity
30:40 to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.
30:42 Maybe we can do a burnout and break the car
30:44 in order to make sure that we don't finish this race.
30:46 Actually, what we're gonna do is attempt a burnout
30:48 so that we can do a video and get more points
30:50 from the Lemons judges for General Hoonery.
30:53 The problem is this thing's really gutless,
30:55 so I've got my burnout sauce here.
30:56 We lubed up that tire.
30:58 Now we're gonna hit this one and hope for some bam.
31:01 [engine revving]
31:05 [engine revving]
31:08 Neutral grub.
31:12 [engine revving]
31:15 Yeah!
31:18 You did it!
31:19 All right!
31:21 Bam!
31:23 Oh, this thing is so gutless.
31:25 [laughing]
31:28 Oh, there's smoke coming in.
31:30 It's coming through the outdoor window!
31:32 That's awesome.
31:34 You got your smoke too, bro.
31:36 Yeah, that worked out, right?
31:38 It's pretty nice.
31:39 Wow.
31:41 Very stylish in here.
31:44 [engine revving]
31:47 You wanna drive it out?
31:48 Yeah, I don't know.
31:50 [engine revving]
31:52 [laughing]
31:55 You know what?
31:57 It's still a victory.
31:59 It just handled.
32:01 [upbeat music]
32:04 ♪ ♪
32:08 Well, there we go.
32:09 Like 1,800 miles later,
32:11 we finished our very first Lemons event.
32:14 We're at Barber Motorsports Park.
32:15 This is Birmingham, Alabama,
32:17 and all we have left to do is go inside.
32:19 They're gonna have a big party,
32:21 and we're gonna collect a lot of awards.
32:23 So when I started out on this trip,
32:25 I just wanted to win.
32:27 But after, I don't know, 1,000-plus miles on the road,
32:30 I just want to party.
32:31 So let's go inside and party.
32:33 [upbeat music]
32:36 ♪ ♪
32:43 In the end, we rolled up to a typical
32:51 24-Hours of Lemons pit party
32:53 that was a complete geek show.
32:56 Crazy cars, costume parties,
32:58 guys with motorized bars, the whole program.
33:01 And we ended it all with an auction
33:03 for the missing link.
33:04 Finnegan and I had a few beers
33:06 and stood on the hood of this thing
33:08 just dealing out the bids,
33:09 and in the end, there were two teams
33:11 who both put up 1,000 bucks for the car,
33:14 and we settled it with an arm wrestle.
33:16 The winning team swears
33:18 that they are gonna turn this turd
33:20 into a 24-Hours of Lemons race car,
33:22 and so you'll see that on roadkill.com.
33:26 And watch for that by following us on social media.
33:29 Our tag is #roadkillshow
33:31 on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.
33:34 Support companies that support "Roadkill."
33:37 Buy your speed parts at jegs.com.
33:40 [upbeat music]
33:43 ♪ ♪
33:48 - We probably shouldn't litter.
33:49 [laughter]
33:52 - We'll let you do that.
33:54 - Oh, I got him.
33:55 [laughter]
33:57 - Right in the face.
33:58 - Oh, I can't.
33:59 A waffle. Ah!
34:01 [laughter]
34:04 - The key here is not to disturb
34:08 the hydrodynamic seal
34:09 between the imitation vinyl
34:12 and the glass,
34:13 and then so that it doesn't leak
34:15 into the car prematurely,
34:16 you just gotta get the bottom ridge out.
34:20 Like that.
34:22 And the key is go like that.
34:25 [engine revving]
34:28 [laughter]
34:30 ♪ ♪
34:32 Do it.
34:33 - Oh, fail.
34:35 [laughter]
34:37 - Give me another one.
34:40 [engine revving]
34:43 (explosion)
34:46 [BLANK_AUDIO]