Agha Majid kay thanay mein Vicky Halwai ki ajab wardat

ARY NEWS

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Transcript

00:00 If you go to the market and buy bricks, cement, sand, and clay,

00:06 and make it your habit to go to the market and buy building materials,

00:12 and if someone asks you what you are making,

00:15 and you say, "I am just filling up the space in the house,"

00:18 then he will send you to the mental asylum.

00:20 I want to say that nowadays we see that we are usually

00:25 collecting information through videos, media, and other means.

00:31 We are collecting a lot of information that we are not making anything out of.

00:35 It is not useful. It is knowledge, but it is not beneficial knowledge.

00:40 If I am an engineer and I am reading a doctor's book,

00:44 then it is of no use.

00:45 If I am a doctor and I am reading a book of engineering,

00:48 then it is of no use.

00:49 Stop collecting information like this.

00:53 Earlier, it was said, "See no evil, say no evil, hear no evil."

00:56 But today's world demands that you listen to what you have in your mind

01:01 and add value to it.

01:03 Say only what you have in your mind.

01:05 Look only at what you have in your mind.

01:08 Otherwise, you will fill your mind like your house,

01:11 and you will not be able to build anything.

01:13 Let's start today's show with this message.

01:16 Let's take you to the police station and see what the SHO is doing.

01:21 (Sings a song)

01:47 Wow!

01:48 I wish the crime rate is zero so that all the police officers can do what the SHO is doing.

01:53 Absolutely.

01:54 (Sings a song)

02:01 (Laughs)

02:02 I would say that all our police officers are fighting a lot.

02:07 But if you are honest and take good care of your area,

02:12 then you will be able to sit peacefully.

02:15 I didn't like this behavior of yours. I am very possessive about you.

02:20 (Sings a song)

02:27 (Laughs)

02:30 (Sings a song)

02:33 (Laughs)

02:35 (Sings a song)

02:39 (Laughs)

02:43 This is a fact.

02:45 Wow!

02:46 I request Samina that the criminals should not be in the same place.

02:50 If they are in the same place, then they will be frustrated.

02:54 Yes, this is absolutely right.

02:56 And the police officers should also do something about their recreation.

03:03 You are dealing with the criminals of the society all day.

03:09 They do have recreations. You haven't seen them dancing.

03:14 This is true.

03:16 Asim, I am seeing you in this condition for the first time.

03:20 Are you this much?

03:22 No, I am actually relaxed.

03:25 Okay.

03:26 I know my condition.

03:30 Tell me why have you arrested them?

03:33 These people?

03:34 Yes.

03:35 These dangerous people?

03:36 How are they dangerous?

03:38 They are all imposters.

03:40 Imposters?

03:41 Yes.

03:42 They are not my ancestors.

03:45 (Laughs)

03:46 They are the ones who spread happiness.

03:55 What happened?

03:56 They have committed a big crime.

03:59 They are the most innocent people.

04:01 You know them better than me.

04:05 (Laughs)

04:06 No, no.

04:07 They are new to the scene.

04:09 (Laughs)

04:11 We are old.

04:12 Leave us alone.

04:13 We can tell from your songs.

04:15 We can tell from your songs.

04:16 They are God's creation.

04:18 Yes.

04:19 They are not fake.

04:21 No.

04:22 They sing so well.

04:23 Absolutely.

04:24 Like me.

04:25 All my family members sing well.

04:27 (Laughs)

04:28 They go to weddings.

04:31 How?

04:32 They give the bag to the bride.

04:35 Okay.

04:36 Then they take her to the stage.

04:39 Okay.

04:40 They make her bend.

04:41 Okay.

04:42 She is so scared.

04:43 She is scared.

04:45 The third person runs away with the bag.

04:49 Oh.

04:50 Runs away?

04:51 Means runs away.

04:52 They think he is a fool.

04:54 (Laughs)

04:55 Sir, the thief took us to make a person bend.

04:58 Okay.

04:59 We made him bend.

05:00 He ran away with the bag.

05:02 Oh.

05:03 We didn't get the money.

05:04 The thief took us to make a person bend.

05:06 (Laughs)

05:07 Do you know him?

05:09 The one who took you.

05:10 No.

05:11 The one who took us.

05:12 Okay.

05:13 This is the incident.

05:14 You do it.

05:15 I am sitting here.

05:16 I have to get my salary.

05:17 (Laughs)

05:18 You know the whole incident.

05:20 Let him interrogate himself.

05:22 Dear.

05:23 Are you from Sri Lanka's airline?

05:25 (Laughs)

05:26 I am trying to understand.

05:28 Sir, this is not a beard.

05:30 I am telling you.

05:31 This is not a beard.

05:32 Sir, we are not going to sing.

05:33 We are going to shave our beard.

05:34 (Sings)

05:40 See, this is a beard.

05:41 Can a person shave his beard?

05:42 Yes, he can.

05:43 Why?

05:44 His father can't do it.

05:45 (Sings)

05:46 (Laughs)

05:47 (Laughs)

05:50 What is this?

05:51 I have never seen this before.

05:52 No, a common man can't speak like this.

05:54 Why can't he speak like this?

05:56 (Sings)

06:10 By the way, Mr. Hasim.

06:11 You made a good retirement plan.

06:13 (Laughs)

06:14 But, Mr. SHO.

06:15 Give us Rs. 500.

06:16 Then we will go for the show.

06:17 Very good.

06:18 Give me Rs. 500.

06:19 Common man.

06:20 (Laughs)

06:22 What is this to us?

06:23 What is this to everyone?

06:24 We were calling for the government.

06:26 We were asking for Rs. 500.

06:27 No, no.

06:28 This is a beard.

06:29 You can shave it.

06:30 Mr. Arun, you are a very innocent person.

06:33 How?

06:34 You have come to Pune.

06:36 This is not a beard.

06:38 Yes.

06:39 This is a criminal.

06:40 Okay.

06:41 (Laughs)

06:43 If this was not involved in the discussion.

06:46 Yes.

06:47 We would not have known.

06:48 (Laughs)

06:49 Sir, we come under this category of beards.

06:52 We charge Rs. 10,000 at least.

06:53 To raid a single wedding.

06:55 (Laughs)

06:56 And Eriza is absolutely right.

06:57 Look, we have to make a face and a face.

07:00 (Laughs)

07:01 Mr. Arun, don't leave the face.

07:03 You are a blind man.

07:05 You should know about the face.

07:07 (Laughs)

07:08 Asim, I have just played the drum at a wedding.

07:11 Did you feel bad?

07:12 (Laughs)

07:15 Sir, she is misleading you.

07:16 How?

07:17 (Laughs)

07:18 She plays the drum at every wedding.

07:19 How many times have I stopped you?

07:21 (Laughs)

07:22 By the way, her team will be very good.

07:24 (Laughs)

07:26 What are you doing?

07:27 Sir, it's been two days since I have not touched Chimota.

07:29 (Laughs)

07:31 It's been two days since you have not touched her.

07:33 You are roaming around with her.

07:34 (Laughs)

07:36 An artist can never be a thief or a dacoit.

07:38 And that too so good.

07:39 Please leave her at my behest.

07:41 She is an artist.

07:42 She is a beard.

07:43 I am not giving her a chimota at your behest.

07:44 Yes.

07:45 Because you call her a very beautiful beard.

07:47 (Laughs)

07:48 Here is the chimota.

07:49 Show me your hair.

07:50 I will tell you now.

07:51 Show me.

07:52 Look at the SHO.

07:54 Yes.

07:55 He is a graduate.

07:56 Look at the SHO.

07:57 He is a graduate.

07:59 Look at the SPAN.

08:01 He is a graduate.

08:03 Look at the SHO.

08:04 He is a graduate.

08:06 Enough.

08:07 He is a criminal.

08:08 (Laughs)

08:12 I remember a poem here.

08:13 The Kufr is broken.

08:14 God is great.

08:15 (Laughs)

08:16 He had called her.

08:17 Let him also come inside.

08:18 Let him also come inside.

08:19 And let him also bring in the people who were his love.

08:24 Now you know that he is not a pandit.

08:27 No.

08:28 He can do good deeds.

08:30 (Laughs)

08:32 The power with which he used the chimota,

08:34 his skin is amazing.

08:35 (Laughs)

08:37 Sir, I will make him disappear for 15-20 days.

08:40 What will you do?

08:41 I will make him appear.

08:42 The chimota of the police station.

08:44 (Laughs)

08:45 The one who doesn't hit like this.

08:48 I will personally beat him up.

08:52 (Laughs)

08:53 Greetings, sir.

08:54 Greetings.

08:55 Sir, Mr. Asim.

08:57 Yes, Asim.

08:58 You..

08:59 Please sit.

09:00 Thank you, sir.

09:01 Your wish, sir.

09:02 Sir, my name is Ajmal Durani.

09:04 Do you want to eat?

09:05 (Laughs)

09:06 Sir, you must be from the family of sisters.

09:10 I am also your officer.

09:12 You have a son, sir.

09:13 Bakhtiyar.

09:14 I don't have a son named Bakhtiyar.

09:17 No.

09:18 Okay, sir.

09:19 Where is Chobu?

09:20 Chobu is sick, sir.

09:21 What happened to him?

09:22 Oh, oh, oh.

09:23 The doctor has given him an answer.

09:25 Oh, my God.

09:26 May God give him good health.

09:28 Yes.

09:29 You will see that he has become so weak.

09:31 I went to the hospital last night.

09:32 Yes.

09:33 I went a while ago and gave him glucose.

09:35 Okay.

09:36 I went again and the bottle of glucose

09:38 which he was sitting on,

09:39 he has swallowed it.

09:40 (Laughs)

09:41 I asked the doctor,

09:42 I asked the doctor,

09:43 he said, "It's too much.

09:44 Cut it."

09:45 (Laughs)

09:46 Are you talking about Chobu?

09:48 I was thinking that

09:49 he has some problem with his name.

09:52 Yes.

09:53 What is his phone number?

09:54 Sir, he told me 9999.

09:56 Is he from the UK police?

09:58 (Laughs)

09:59 Oh, I remember.

10:00 He is from Cheetah.

10:01 9999.

10:02 Yes.

10:03 Look, I didn't even pay attention to him.

10:05 (Laughs)

10:07 Okay, he is Cheetah.

10:08 Are you talking about Cheetah?

10:09 Yes, sir.

10:10 What did he do?

10:11 Sir, actually,

10:12 he got a proposal for my wife.

10:14 So, I thought that

10:15 I should ask his officer about his marriage.

10:17 Oh.

10:18 Oh.

10:19 You are talking about Cheetah's proposal.

10:21 Cheetah has been wanting to get married for a long time.

10:23 I mean,

10:24 mother, father,

10:25 Yes.

10:26 your wife is a bit annoying.

10:28 (Laughs)

10:29 She creates a lot of tension.

10:31 She says, "I will find a way to get rid of him."

10:33 (Laughs)

10:34 Sir, I think

10:35 a clever man needs a lot of hints.

10:37 I will take your leave, sir.

10:38 No, no, no.

10:39 (Laughs)

10:40 My king,

10:41 try to understand.

10:42 Yes.

10:43 Cheetah is a very good boy.

10:45 Really, sir?

10:46 Believe me.

10:47 He is a real tiger.

10:49 Yes.

10:50 First of all,

10:51 he doesn't take bribes.

10:52 No.

10:53 Sir, why have I named him Cheetah?

10:55 Why, sir?

10:56 The big criminals

10:57 who don't get caught,

10:58 Yes.

10:59 Cheetah goes there

11:00 and comes back with a big blow.

11:02 Wow.

11:03 Wow.

11:04 That means, Cheetah is a brave man.

11:05 Yes.

11:06 Cheetah is very brave.

11:07 But,

11:08 have you seen Cheetah?

11:09 Yes, sir.

11:10 Your sister is also brave.

11:11 (Laughs)

11:12 Sir,

11:13 I didn't understand.

11:14 Both of them will be brave.

11:16 You will spend this time well.

11:17 Absolutely.

11:18 Sir, where is Mr. Bakhtiar right now?

11:19 (Laughs)

11:20 You know what?

11:21 I am very close to you.

11:22 I am your daughter's father.

11:24 Yes.

11:25 I am talking to you.

11:26 Yes, sir.

11:27 Don't make me sad

11:28 by saying Bakhtiar.

11:29 (Laughs)

11:30 That's right.

11:31 I can't believe it.

11:32 I can't believe it.

11:33 We are talking about him.

11:34 Cheetah.

11:35 Where is Cheetah, sir?

11:36 Tell me that.

11:37 Believe me.

11:38 I was about to name my son Bakhtiar

11:39 but I got upset.

11:40 (Laughs)

11:41 You are watching this on television.

11:43 Absolutely, sir.

11:44 There is a news

11:45 about a dacoit.

11:46 Yes, absolutely.

11:47 Mr. Aslam,

11:48 a dacoit

11:49 is leading a party

11:50 to catch him.

11:53 Wow, sir.

11:55 He has gone to catch

11:56 a dacoit.

11:57 Yes, sir.

11:58 Wow.

11:59 Mr. Durrani.

12:00 Yes.

12:01 Have you thought of something?

12:02 No, first I will marry my wife.

12:04 (Laughs)

12:05 I am talking about

12:06 marrying my wife.

12:08 I think

12:09 there is no room for refusal

12:11 in whatever Mr. Aslam has said.

12:12 Then,

12:13 shall we order sweets?

12:14 Yes, why not?

12:15 Sir,

12:16 where will we get sweets?

12:17 Sir,

12:18 there is a new shop

12:19 in front of my police station.

12:21 New Sweet.

12:23 Okay.

12:24 They opened it last night.

12:25 Wow.

12:26 I heard that

12:27 the sweets are very good.

12:28 I will try it.

12:29 Order it.

12:30 Sir, I will get it.

12:31 No, sir.

12:32 What are you saying?

12:33 It's his number.

12:34 He will give it to you

12:35 and take you to the police station.

12:36 Okay, sir.

12:37 Hello.

12:38 Hello.

12:39 Yes, hello.

12:40 New Sweet?

12:41 Yes, New Sweet.

12:42 How many do you want?

12:44 Sir,

12:45 order 10.

12:46 He is a cheater.

12:48 (Laughs)

12:50 Send 10 sweets to the police station.

12:52 Okay?

12:53 It will be good.

12:54 Okay.

12:55 I have a doubt.

12:56 Yes, I will get it.

12:59 (Phone rings)

13:01 He is like Urdu.

13:03 He is not giving me the signal.

13:04 (Laughs)

13:05 Hello, what do you want?

13:06 Ladies first.

13:07 Ladies first.

13:08 Oh, you are here.

13:09 Sir,

13:10 take this.

13:11 Take this.

13:12 The thief who steals the coins of the bank.

13:14 Sir, you were saying that

13:15 he is a dacoit.

13:16 No, no.

13:17 He is not a dacoit.

13:18 He is a dacoit.

13:19 (Laughs)

13:22 No, no.

13:23 I am a cook.

13:24 (Laughs)

13:26 Sir, he went to catch this.

13:28 No, no.

13:29 He is on the way.

13:30 Yes, yes.

13:31 He is on the way.

13:32 You go.

13:33 Take the rest of the sweets.

13:34 Yes, sir.

13:35 Sir,

13:36 please tell this young man

13:38 to eat something.

13:40 Why?

13:41 Sir, I have scored a goal.

13:42 I touched the ball and ran.

13:45 Sir, you are very fearless.

13:47 I am fearless.

13:48 I am not a fool.

13:49 If I get a punch,

13:50 I will get a mobile phone cut.

13:52 (Laughs)

13:55 Sir,

13:56 he tried to trap me.

14:00 Really?

14:01 (Laughs)

14:02 I have never been trapped by such a joke.

14:04 (Laughs)

14:05 I have been trapped by such a joke.

14:10 (Laughs)

14:13 I have been trapped by such a joke.

14:15 (Laughs)

14:20 Sir,

14:21 don't laugh.

14:22 My brother-in-law will come

14:23 and ask about me.

14:24 I will give him a good report.

14:26 I have not seen him.

14:27 He looks like a dacoit.

14:29 He is like this.

14:31 He is like this.

14:34 He is like this.

14:35 He is your sister-in-law.

14:36 Yes.

14:37 He is like this.

14:38 (Laughs)

14:40 Greetings, brother.

14:42 Greetings.

14:43 Mr. Cheetah.

14:45 What are you doing?

14:47 I am stopping you from eating sweets.

14:49 (Laughs)

14:50 Call me Mr. Bakhtiyar.

14:52 He is Mr. Bakhtiyar.

14:54 I am Cheetah.

14:55 Okay.

14:56 Congratulations.

14:57 Greetings.

14:59 Greetings.

15:00 These are sweets from me.

15:03 From me?

15:05 What is the next question?

15:07 Are you from New Street?

15:08 Yes.

15:09 Thank you very much.

15:10 Sir, how much money do you have?

15:11 I will take the money.

15:13 You don't worry.

15:15 He looks very smart.

15:16 He looks like he is from Raojaan's stage.

15:18 (Laughs)

15:19 The shop is in an open place.

15:21 Yes.

15:22 His voice is like a tree.

15:24 Just make one thing clear.

15:26 You have not made these sweets yourself.

15:28 I have made each and every piece of this sweet

15:31 in my laboratory.

15:34 Laboratory?

15:35 It means that he is right.

15:38 What?

15:39 It is as sweet as it is bitter.

15:40 (Laughs)

15:41 He is very clear.

15:43 He is saying that he has made it in his laboratory.

15:44 He is not saying laboratory.

15:45 He is saying 'bawtry'.

15:47 (Laughs)

15:48 Congratulations.

15:49 Please take these sweets.

15:50 Give me the sweets first.

15:52 Give me the sweets first.

15:55 Shut up.

15:56 Give me the sweets first.

15:57 Shut up.

15:58 Give me the sweets first.

16:01 (Laughs)

16:03 Give me the sweets.

16:05 Poor guy.

16:06 Give me the sweets.

16:07 He must be craving for it.

16:08 Yes.

16:09 (Laughs)

16:12 He is thinking about himself.

16:13 He can cook.

16:15 These sweets are for his wedding.

16:16 Keep it back where you got it from.

16:19 (Laughs)

16:21 He is a great granger.

16:23 (Laughs)

16:27 What is this?

16:28 (Laughs)

16:30 What happened?

16:31 My name is Dr. Changez.

16:34 Dr. Changez?

16:35 Yes.

16:36 I am not a confectioner.

16:38 Then?

16:39 I am a scientist.

16:40 (Whistles)

16:41 These sweets?

16:42 I have made my poison in these sweets.

16:48 (Laughs)

16:51 Cheetah ate it.

16:53 Oh my God!

16:56 Thank God his future wife is safe.

16:58 Why did you give him poison?

17:00 Money.

17:01 Money?

17:02 Just money.

17:03 Can I tell you something?

17:04 What?

17:05 I have the recipe for this poison.

17:07 Okay.

17:08 (Laughs)

17:10 Transfer 50 lakhs to my account right now.

17:14 Okay.

17:15 Otherwise, he will die here.

17:18 Oh God!

17:19 You have only two minutes.

17:22 Do something.

17:23 Sir.

17:24 You don't have to give me so much money.

17:27 (Laughs)

17:28 Sir, please.

17:30 Ask for money from him.

17:31 I have only 5,700 rupees.

17:33 (Laughs)

17:35 I was thinking about this when I was eating sweets.

17:41 (Laughs)

17:42 The one who was destined to get it, got it.

17:45 (Laughs)

17:46 It is strange that I had only added poison to one sweet.

17:49 If this is not saved, you will be killed.

17:53 (Coughs)

17:54 What happened?

17:55 (Coughs)

17:56 What is this?

17:57 (Coughs)

17:58 I have a bad cough.

18:00 (Coughs)

18:04 (Coughs)

18:05 What happened?

18:06 Sir, I think two girls had poisoned it.

18:08 Why?

18:09 There were too many dogs and cheetahs.

18:13 (Groans)

18:15 What happened?

18:16 You know, I don't feel good when I get caught.

18:19 (Laughs)

18:20 (audience laughing)

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