Woman De-transitions After Losing Her Voice

  • last year
Credit: SWNS

A woman has decided to "de-transition" back to living as a female after identifying as a transgender man for 15 years - after fearing she wouldn't be able to sing again.

Singer Cat Cattinson, 30, grew up as a female but identified as male from the age of 13.

She only started to transition to become a man in March 2020 - after spending years struggling with gender dysphoria.

She started taking testosterone which saw her voice drop and she went by the name of Tony.

Cat had been planning top surgery - to remove her breasts - but started to feel nauseous and experience heart palpitations when she took testosterone.
Transcript
00:00 Going off the testosterone was a confusing experience.
00:03 I felt like I was leaving a cult.
00:06 (soft music)
00:08 My name's Kat and I'm a musician and student in biology.
00:18 I'm sharing my story of detransition.
00:20 I once identified as trans.
00:22 I started to go through medical transition
00:24 and then because of health side effects
00:26 and detrimental changes to my singing voice
00:29 that forced me to stop performing,
00:31 I decided transitioning wasn't right for me.
00:34 From about 13 to 15,
00:40 I internally considered myself transgender,
00:43 but I didn't really tell anybody
00:45 until I was around 15 or 16.
00:49 And that was when I came out to my parents.
00:51 I liked to dress up as my dad when I was a little kid
00:56 and I had a pretty troubled teenagehood.
00:59 I suffered from anorexia and bulimia,
01:03 which was also an attempt to sort of
01:05 erase the feminine shape of my body.
01:07 I came out online on, I think it was on Facebook,
01:13 and I was going by the name Toni.
01:14 It took me a really long time
01:16 to decide to medically transition
01:18 because for one thing,
01:20 I was attempting to pursue a singing career
01:23 and so knowing that my voice would change.
01:27 Was a big deal for me.
01:28 From the first dose of testosterone that I took
01:32 and I was injecting myself.
01:34 I never ever had a doctor show me how to do it or anything.
01:38 My voice was changing, which I knew would happen,
01:40 but it was sort of gradually changing
01:42 and I was getting excited
01:43 'cause I was able to speak at a lower pitch
01:46 and like hit lower notes.
01:47 But then at around the two month mark,
01:49 things started to shift
01:50 and I started to have some health side effects.
01:52 But the thing that really sent me over the edge
01:54 is the vocal side effects.
01:56 I just had this really rapid vocal drop
02:01 and I opened my mouth to sing and nothing came out.
02:03 It was just air and this really
02:07 ugly sounding squeaking noise.
02:09 That was when I was kind of like,
02:11 what have I done to myself?
02:12 So that's when I really started to question everything
02:17 and about two weeks later,
02:19 I decided to quit testosterone cold turkey.
02:24 Going off the testosterone was a confusing experience.
02:27 I still identified as trans at that point.
02:30 Like I didn't want to go back to like living as a woman.
02:34 That was when I realized how unhealthy it was
02:37 for these activists who have been telling me
02:40 like don't listen to detransitioners,
02:41 don't listen to anyone who may be skeptical
02:45 or critical of like gender identity theory.
02:48 I felt like I was leaving a cult.
02:52 (upbeat music)
02:54 I ended up identifying as non-binary.
02:57 I want other people to know that it is possible
02:59 to manage gender dysphoria and accept yourself
03:02 without physically modifying your body
03:04 or going through surgery, things like that.
03:07 Now a year and a half later after my detransition,
03:10 I feel like I'm really more comfortable with myself
03:13 and happier than I have been in a long time, maybe ever.
03:17 (upbeat music)
03:19 (upbeat music)
03:22 (upbeat music)
03:25 you
03:27 [BLANK_AUDIO]

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