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Michael Parkinson: Best TV moments as legendary interviewer dies aged 88Parkinson, BBC; Parkinson, ITV, An Audience With Michael Parkinson, BBC World

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Transcript
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00:46 - And I always ask my mother,
00:51 I said, "Mother, how come is everything white?"
00:54 I said, "Why is Jesus white with blonde and blue eyes?
00:57 Why is the Lord's supper all white men?
01:00 Angels are white, Pope and Mary and even the angels."
01:05 I said, "Mother, when we die, do we go to heaven?"
01:08 She said, "Naturally, we go to heaven."
01:10 I said, "Well, what happened to all the black angels
01:12 when they took the pictures?"
01:13 (audience laughing)
01:16 I said, "Oh, I know.
01:23 If the white folks was in heaven too,
01:25 then the black angels were in the kitchen
01:28 preparing the milk and honey."
01:29 (audience laughing)
01:31 She said, "Listen, you quit saying that."
01:32 Well, I was always curious
01:33 and I always wondered why I had to die to go to heaven.
01:35 Why I couldn't have pretty cars
01:37 and good money and nice homes now?
01:39 Why do I have to wait till I die to get milk and honey?"
01:42 And I said, "Mama, I don't want no milk and honey.
01:45 I like steaks."
01:45 And I said, "Milk and honey is a laxative anyway.
01:49 (audience laughing)
01:50 Do they have a lot of bathrooms in heaven?"
01:52 - This is a great honor for me
01:53 because I can remember being, I don't know,
01:56 eight or nine years old and my mom would allow me
01:59 to stay up beyond a certain time in the evening
02:04 only to watch the Parkinson's show.
02:05 She thought it would be a bit of quality watching.
02:07 So I'm very, very privileged to be here.
02:09 - Well, that's very kind of you.
02:11 Very kind of you.
02:11 It's good to have you.
02:12 - And she probably wouldn't have been quite as thrilled
02:16 that I had to take my willy out to get on here.
02:18 (audience laughing)
02:21 - Going back to this thing about image,
02:25 do you feel that David is perhaps better,
02:26 has a better public persona, image than you have?
02:29 - I think he does have now.
02:31 I don't think that he did a few years ago.
02:33 And I think that sometimes when you can get down
02:35 and think, "Oh God, why don't people understand me?
02:38 Why are they saying this?
02:39 Why are they saying that?
02:40 What better person to look at than my own husband
02:42 to see how somebody can turn all that around?"
02:45 I mean, David is, I call him golden (beep)
02:49 you know now because I mean,
02:50 (audience laughing)
02:53 you know, because now,
02:54 (audience laughing)
02:56 is that gonna be one of those?
02:57 - Golden balls back to me.
02:59 (audience laughing)
03:01 It's a golden nut, isn't it?
03:02 - That's gonna be,
03:03 I know, that's one of those things I shouldn't have said,
03:05 but.
03:06 (audience laughing)
03:09 I was,
03:09 (audience laughing)
03:11 I was watching.
03:12 - See, it's like shooting with him.
03:13 I always have to stay in character.
03:15 Make sure you know what he's gonna say.
03:16 - I was watching the news.
03:18 And of course, it led up to this thing,
03:21 this thing that we're gonna talk about, which was him.
03:24 But I didn't know, you know, because it was Japanese.
03:27 And a white airplane came on the screen,
03:30 like from the front, you know, coming on the screen,
03:33 this white, and the door opened,
03:34 and he looked at it and smiled,
03:36 and the hair flocked like that.
03:38 And I thought, Jesus, I fancy a moussele.
03:40 (audience laughing)
03:43 Did I say?
03:49 - You're looking wonderful.
03:50 You're ageless.
03:52 - Well, I'm trying to be ageless.
03:55 I haven't, I've had a little work done, but.
03:57 - Have you?
03:58 - Not quite as much as some of you.
04:00 (audience laughing)
04:01 No.
04:02 - Don't look at me when you say that.
04:03 - Yeah.
04:04 - Keep your eyes that way.
04:04 - No.
04:05 (audience laughing)
04:07 - But the thing is, you are still recognizable.
04:10 That's what I mean.
04:10 (audience laughing)
04:11 You know, some people, you know this as well as I do.
04:15 They go in, they go in to see these cosmetic surgeons,
04:19 and they forget, before the anesthetic takes over,
04:22 they forget to say, I want people to know who I am
04:26 when I come out.
04:26 (audience laughing)
04:27 You know, they go in,
04:29 they go in like a Mercedes,
04:33 and they come out like the backside of a Ford Mondeo.
04:36 (audience laughing)
04:40 - So, but you've resisted the temptation so far.
04:42 - Very much so.
04:43 I have just a little tightening here and there.
04:46 - Of course.
04:47 - Nowhere you can see.
04:49 (audience laughing)
04:52 It's not unusual.
04:59 (audience laughing)
05:02 (audience applauding)

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