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Court métrageTranscription
00:00 [no audio]
00:07 The only thing you know for sure on this earth is you exist.
00:10 Anything past that is open to interpretation.
00:14 Right now, I think I'm in Boston talking to 1200 people.
00:18 But there is a good to fair chance that I'm in a mental home
00:21 standing in front of a white wall
00:23 [laughter]
00:24 going "mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm"
00:30 [laughter]
00:31 You and I!
00:33 Women, the reason that men like fucking you in the ass
00:37 is because we know you fucking hate it.
00:40 [laughter]
00:41 Raising a baby is not that hard.
00:43 It's easier than a coke habit.
00:45 To all the girls who take a load on their face, may I say bravo.
00:49 Americans always go, "I'm a responsible gun owner,
00:52 I keep my guns locked in a safe."
00:55 Then they're no fucking protection!
00:57 Someone comes into the house, you're like, "Wait there, fuckface.
01:01 Oh, you've come to the wrong house here, buddy boy.
01:06 I'll tell you what, I'm gonna fuck you up."
01:10 What happens if your girlfriend's away and the dog dies?
01:12 You buy another dog.
01:14 What happens if the baby dies?
01:16 Very hard to get a baby that looks exactly the same.
01:20 Easier if you're black or Asian.
01:23 I'm not saying 'cause they look the same,
01:26 I'm saying 'cause they're easier to purchase.
01:29 [laughter]
01:30 [music]