"After childbirth and menopause I hated my body so much that I considered suicide"
- 10 months ago
A woman who gained weight after childbirth and the menopause says she hated her body so much - she considered suicide.
Billie Steele, 51, has shed more than 60 kilos (132 lbs) over the years.
But during her weight loss journey she has fallen into depression and gone to rehab.
At the age of 35, Billie gave birth to her second child and weighed around 87 kilos (191 lbs).
In nine months, she had gained 32 kilograms (70 lbs).
Billie worked hard to lose the weight she had put on and by the time she was 46, she had finally managed to lose 30 kilograms (66 lbs).
Just two years later, at the age of 48, Billie started menopause.
The effects of menopause meant that Billie quickly put the weight that she has spent more than 10 years losing back on.
For the mum-of-two, it was a very difficult time. She felt "insecure, worthless and unlovable."
She fell into depression and even considered suicide.
When she realised she had hit rock bottom, she admitted herself to a mental health facility.
Billie, who is from Newcastle, New South Wales, Australia, said: "I had planned to take my own life several years ago and I had gotten very close to executing that plan.
"I made a very harrowing phone call to a Rehabilitation Centre in Sydney and begged them to take me because I literally did not know how to move forward with my life.
"Thankfully they admitted me and I was treated there for 21 days for depression, adult and childhood trauma and anxiety.
"I was medicated for these mental issues for some time and I really didn't want to be on this medication for the rest of my life.
"So I started to wonder if I could manage my mental health issues with a lifestyle change and that's when a tentative plan for change began to percolate."
Billie left rehab in December 2019 and in May 2021 she joined her local gym for a 12-week challenge to get herself started.
Billie said: "I was so nervous and self-conscious, I didn't stay long on my first visit but I did it despite how terrified I was.
"Then I kept going back, I got more confident using the equipment, I was getting stronger mentally and physically and my mood started to change.
"I started to feel hopeful, instead of feeling kind of 'meh' all the time.
"I was starting to feel like my old self."
As her physical health started to improve, so did her mental health.
Billie started to rely less on her anti-depressants and eventually weaned herself off them around one year ago.
Then her eating habits drastically changed and she removed processed food, sugar and more recently alcohol.
Billie Steele, 51, has shed more than 60 kilos (132 lbs) over the years.
But during her weight loss journey she has fallen into depression and gone to rehab.
At the age of 35, Billie gave birth to her second child and weighed around 87 kilos (191 lbs).
In nine months, she had gained 32 kilograms (70 lbs).
Billie worked hard to lose the weight she had put on and by the time she was 46, she had finally managed to lose 30 kilograms (66 lbs).
Just two years later, at the age of 48, Billie started menopause.
The effects of menopause meant that Billie quickly put the weight that she has spent more than 10 years losing back on.
For the mum-of-two, it was a very difficult time. She felt "insecure, worthless and unlovable."
She fell into depression and even considered suicide.
When she realised she had hit rock bottom, she admitted herself to a mental health facility.
Billie, who is from Newcastle, New South Wales, Australia, said: "I had planned to take my own life several years ago and I had gotten very close to executing that plan.
"I made a very harrowing phone call to a Rehabilitation Centre in Sydney and begged them to take me because I literally did not know how to move forward with my life.
"Thankfully they admitted me and I was treated there for 21 days for depression, adult and childhood trauma and anxiety.
"I was medicated for these mental issues for some time and I really didn't want to be on this medication for the rest of my life.
"So I started to wonder if I could manage my mental health issues with a lifestyle change and that's when a tentative plan for change began to percolate."
Billie left rehab in December 2019 and in May 2021 she joined her local gym for a 12-week challenge to get herself started.
Billie said: "I was so nervous and self-conscious, I didn't stay long on my first visit but I did it despite how terrified I was.
"Then I kept going back, I got more confident using the equipment, I was getting stronger mentally and physically and my mood started to change.
"I started to feel hopeful, instead of feeling kind of 'meh' all the time.
"I was starting to feel like my old self."
As her physical health started to improve, so did her mental health.
Billie started to rely less on her anti-depressants and eventually weaned herself off them around one year ago.
Then her eating habits drastically changed and she removed processed food, sugar and more recently alcohol.