• l’année dernière

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TV
Transcription
00:00 [Musique]
00:02 [Musique]
00:28 [Applaudissements]
00:35 Hello, hello, everyone, hello!
00:39 I'm Greg Davis and this is Taskmaster.
00:43 It's funny what counts as entertainment these days.
00:46 We see people clamoring for true crime stories,
00:48 and anyone can start a podcast and chat about socks or whatever.
00:52 But what happened to the good old-fashioned tradition of humiliating people?
00:56 As a young man, my father regularly pulled my trousers down at public events.
01:00 [Rires]
01:03 And I always found it funny, even during the backlash at my grandmother's funeral.
01:08 [Rires]
01:09 Can we please get back to wholesome fun? Can we?
01:12 It's a complicated world, guys. Let's pull together.
01:15 Let's identify the victims and all pile on.
01:18 Oh, here comes the victim train now!
01:21 Please welcome, Frankie Boyle!
01:24 [Rires]
01:26 Ivo Graham!
01:28 Jenny Eclair!
01:30 Payal Smith-Baino!
01:32 And May Martin!
01:34 [Rires]
01:36 And next to me, a man who told me his father has only ever given him
01:40 one Christmas present in his life, a beautifully wrapped piece of Welsh slate
01:44 that had one solitary word engraved upon it.
01:47 That word? Toad!
01:49 [Rires]
01:51 It's...
01:52 Toad!
01:54 [Rires]
01:56 Hi, Dad.
01:57 Hello, everyone.
01:59 What have you got for me?
02:01 Well, I've invented a new feature for the show.
02:03 Oh.
02:04 It's called Taskmaster Karaoke.
02:06 Yes.
02:07 Yes. So all you've got to do is turn down the volume of your TVs
02:10 and turn on the subtitles, and then you can speak along with the show.
02:14 [Rires]
02:15 I think you can do this with any TV show.
02:17 It's a really good idea.
02:19 It's really good.
02:20 I don't know. It might be fun.
02:21 It might catch on.
02:22 I do it with the news.
02:24 [Rires]
02:25 And is it all well with the world?
02:28 [Rires]
02:30 Shall we begin with the prize, Dask?
02:32 Yes, we have to, because that's the format,
02:34 and we're simply the eye candy, Greg. Let's go.
02:37 This week, they've been asked to bring in the best thing
02:40 you take everywhere with you but struggle to fit in your bag.
02:44 Best ill-fitting thing wins five points,
02:46 and the best winner of the show takes them all home
02:48 in a skip-sized bag.
02:50 Greg.
02:51 Right, first up, Frankie.
02:53 It's a struggle because I do take it everywhere,
02:56 this photograph of when I was doing a gig
02:59 and my son wandered on stage to tell a joke.
03:03 He's six foot one now,
03:05 but he had a uniquely penetrating voice as a child,
03:09 and I took him to the Scotland women's football game.
03:11 The women's football, they all have their hair up in some fashion,
03:13 it's all kind of scrunched up in some way,
03:15 and he had a look around and he went,
03:16 "There's a lot of tight buns out there."
03:18 LAUGHTER
03:22 Quite the voice he had on him.
03:24 Quite the voice.
03:25 And he was going to tell a joke, which little did that crowd know,
03:28 would have been at an astonishing volume.
03:30 But he didn't, I didn't let him.
03:32 Do you know what the joke was that he had planned?
03:34 He was simply going to say the word "yellow".
03:36 LAUGHTER
03:39 How big is it? Doesn't look that big.
03:41 Mm, it's not that big, but I have quite a small bag.
03:44 LAUGHTER
03:46 Ivo, what did you bring in?
03:48 You sound like a psychopath.
04:01 LAUGHTER
04:03 Here it is.
04:10 LAUGHTER
04:12 LAUGHTER
04:37 OK.
04:38 Oh, God.
04:44 LAUGHTER
04:46 LAUGHTER
04:53 LAUGHTER
04:57 Yes.
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05:57 LAUGHTER
06:07 Here it is.
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06:55 APPLAUSE
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07:26 APPLAUSE
07:54 LAUGHTER
07:55 Ah.
08:06 Hello, Alex.
08:11 LAUGHTER
08:18 I may not leave.
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08:26 LAUGHTER
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08:49 Most pineapples piled on the path wins.
08:52 LAUGHTER
08:57 That's the path.
09:03 How many pineapples?
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09:28 APPLAUSE
09:29 MUSICAL STRUMMING
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12:19 APPLAUS
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13:18 APPLAUSE
13:21 APPLAUSE
13:22 APPLAUSE
13:27 APPLAUSE
13:29 Oh, hello!
13:30 We're just in the nick of time for part two of Taskmaster.
13:33 Phew! Yes, we're in the thick of a pineapple retrieval task.
13:36 Most pineapples piled up wins,
13:38 and we even put easy-to-retrieve ones around the corner
13:41 for them, much easier to get than the ones in the middle of the mill pond.
13:44 Now, for the attempts of Jenny and Ivo.
13:47 Ivo, it's off to work he goes.
13:49 LAUGHTER
13:50 Is that the longest it'll go?
13:55 Yes, it's not very good.
13:57 That's rubbish.
13:58 LAUGHTER
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14:17 CHEERING
14:26 CHEERING
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16:23 APPLAUSE
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16:37 APPLAUSE
16:40 APPLAUSE
16:41 How did Jenny do using her come-to-mummy long-arms technique?
16:46 LAUGHTER
16:47 Not bad.
16:55 There were two little phrases that came involuntarily out of Ivo
16:58 that I think will come to define him.
17:00 At first, I thought it was this one.
17:02 Please.
17:04 Please!
17:05 Please!
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17:18 LAUGHTER
17:24 APPLAUSE
17:35 One left.
17:36 One left.
17:37 Of course, it's May Martin.
17:39 Are there any hidden pineapples?
17:43 That's what I want to know.
17:45 Like, there must be hidden pineapples.
17:47 OK.
17:54 This is pretty good.
18:00 Oh!
18:03 Fuck! No!
18:04 LAUGHTER
18:05 No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
18:07 LAUGHTER
18:08 Oh.
18:15 Yeah.
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18:41 MUSIC
18:59 MUSIC
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19:37 APPLAUSE
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19:41 APPLAUS
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20:33 CHEERING
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21:06 CHEERING
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21:53 MUSIC
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22:58 APPLAUS
22:59 MUSIQUE
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45:57 Paul Smith, Spider wins!
45:59 Please pop up to collect your invagable bits!
46:02 So, what have we learnt today?
46:07 We've learnt that if you want to achieve something in life,
46:10 use your intelligence, use lateral thinking,
46:13 use gut instinct, if you will.
46:15 Failing that, maybe give this a go.
46:17 Please.
46:19 Please.
46:21 Please.
46:24 Let's marvel at tonight's winner once more.
46:26 It is Kyle Smith, Spider!
46:28 APPLAUSE
46:30 MUSIC
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46:56 APPLAUSE
46:58 ♪ ♪ ♪