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AmusantTranscription
00:00 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:02 Brace, brace.
00:03 I'm bracing.
00:04 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:07 No, no, no, no, no.
00:13 No!
00:19 Ah!
00:25 What?
00:26 [APPLAUSE]
00:30 [APPLAUSE]
00:33 Hello, everybody, and welcome to Taskmaster.
00:39 The road to Taskmaster victory is long.
00:42 There are many hurdles, physically and psychologically.
00:44 Different individuals respond in different ways.
00:46 And sometimes on camera, there are
00:48 those that seem not to care at all how well they do.
00:51 But do not be fooled.
00:53 One of them came to my dressing room last night,
00:55 hot tears streaming down their face.
00:57 I want this more than I've ever wanted anything before.
01:00 I want to make my family proud.
01:02 Please, Greg.
01:04 Please don't take this from me.
01:05 Please.
01:06 Now, I would never reveal that person's identity.
01:09 But I'll say this.
01:10 Chin up.
01:11 You're doing fine.
01:12 Don't be silly.
01:13 Of course you'll be able to show your face in Scotland again.
01:16 [LAUGHTER]
01:19 Let's meet them all now.
01:20 Please give an enormous round of applause to Frankie Bell!
01:23 [APPLAUSE]
01:24 Albo Graham!
01:27 Jenny Clare!
01:29 Bayelle Smith-Baino!
01:31 And Mae Martin!
01:34 And next to me, a man who smells his own farts
01:37 using what he describes as his guff and cup system.
01:41 It's...
01:42 Elikki Alex Hall!
01:44 [APPLAUSE]
01:47 Hello.
01:49 Hello.
01:50 Hello.
01:51 Good evening.
01:51 How are you?
01:52 I am Greg.
01:55 Wow.
01:55 For once.
01:56 And I want to take an opportunity,
01:57 if you wouldn't mind, an opportunity to thank this man.
02:01 Because you get a lot of stick from people
02:04 for being mean to me.
02:06 But you're very nice.
02:07 Four months ago, Greg gave me a watch.
02:09 He said, I want to give you this.
02:10 And he gave me that.
02:12 It's really nice.
02:13 So, yeah.
02:14 I don't know what to do with it.
02:15 It's a nice guy.
02:16 It's just a trick.
02:17 It's a nice guy.
02:17 I haven't got you anything.
02:18 But you may do what you may with me.
02:22 [LAUGHTER]
02:24 Payback for my lovely present.
02:25 [LAUGHTER]
02:27 Put your tongue out.
02:28 [LAUGHTER]
02:31 What am I going to do?
02:32 [LAUGHTER]
02:33 OK.
02:33 [LAUGHTER]
02:37 [SCREAMING]
02:39 [APPLAUSE]
02:44 [SCREAMING]
02:47 [APPLAUSE]
02:51 Come on, then.
02:52 Yes, Greg, it's prize toss time.
02:54 And this week, the category is the most brilliant thing
02:57 that pops up.
02:58 You'll give five points to the top of the pops.
03:00 And then one of them will be really
03:01 happy at the end of the show when they win five
03:03 brilliant things that pop up.
03:04 Back to you, pops.
03:06 Right.
03:06 Obviously, anyone who's brought a toaster in,
03:09 get ready for no points.
03:10 [LAUGHTER]
03:11 Ivo, hello.
03:12 Hello, Greg.
03:14 What's the most brilliant thing that you've
03:15 brought in that pops up?
03:16 It's, of course, the game of Whack-A-Mole
03:19 with a bespoke taskmaster twist.
03:21 Here it is.
03:23 He's done this.
03:24 There we are.
03:25 [LAUGHTER]
03:28 Come on.
03:29 I like it more than I ever imagined I would.
03:33 Yes.
03:34 Not too proud not to put myself in the Whack-A-Mole.
03:37 I suffer, as we all shall, at the hands of the bat.
03:40 [LAUGHTER]
03:42 Well, it's nice.
03:44 You made the effort to make it taskmaster-centric,
03:46 and I enjoy that.
03:48 It feels mid-range at this stage.
03:50 The Japanese format of Whack-A-Mole,
03:52 Magura Tataki, Mole Smash, is popular worldwide.
03:56 And now it's got our faces on it.
03:58 Five points, please.
03:59 [LAUGHTER]
04:02 [APPLAUSE]
04:04 Do you want me to enter five points?
04:07 I do not.
04:08 [LAUGHTER]
04:09 Hello, May.
04:10 You remember what you said about toasters?
04:12 [LAUGHTER]
04:15 Bear with me.
04:16 OK.
04:17 I've brought a Pop-Tart.
04:20 But no, wait.
04:20 Yeah, this is May's most brilliant thing that pops up.
04:24 On the Pop-Tart is the most brilliant mind of our time.
04:28 [LAUGHTER]
04:30 My man, Professor Brian Cox.
04:34 Look at his hair and--
04:35 [LAUGHTER]
04:36 That Whack-A-Mole's looking more attractive.
04:39 Are you a fan of Professor Brian Cox?
04:41 He's fit, yeah.
04:44 No, I respect his mind.
04:45 [LAUGHTER]
04:46 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
04:47 All you're going to see is my burning face.
04:49 [LAUGHTER]
04:52 Have you never had an impression show?
04:56 [LAUGHTER]
04:58 Jenny.
04:59 Oh, no.
05:00 You must be feeling a little bit encouraged
05:02 by Professor Brian Pop-Tart.
05:05 Do you like David Bowie?
05:06 Do I?
05:07 Yeah.
05:07 I don't mind him.
05:08 Right, David Bowie would never have
05:10 had those big balloon trousers had it not been for this bloke
05:14 called Oscar Schlemmer, right?
05:17 And he designed the Bauhaus ballet.
05:22 So I have bought for you a Bauhaus ballet pop-up book.
05:27 Here is the book.
05:28 Yeah.
05:28 Here it comes.
05:29 Pop.
05:31 Ooh.
05:31 [GASPING]
05:32 Did you hear that noise?
05:34 The audience loved it.
05:35 Greg.
05:35 [LAUGHTER]
05:36 Come on.
05:37 I don't mind him.
05:38 It's interesting because the lineage from Oscar Schlemmer
05:41 to Bowie is all in the Bauhaus movement.
05:45 That's why these people came here, Jenny.
05:46 Yes.
05:47 [LAUGHTER]
05:48 They're gagging for Schlemmer.
05:50 That's all they want.
05:51 Schlemmer versus Pop-Tart.
05:52 Schlemmer crazy, these people.
05:53 Yeah.
05:54 Kyle.
05:55 The most brilliant thing that pops up is obviously oneself.
06:00 And what better thing to pop up on than a pogo stick?
06:03 Oh.
06:03 [GASPING]
06:05 We found our level.
06:06 [LAUGHTER]
06:08 Yes.
06:09 Kyle has popped in this pogo stick.
06:11 [LAUGHTER]
06:14 [APPLAUSE]
06:15 I had a bit of fun.
06:18 My parents genuinely got me a pogo stick for Christmas.
06:21 I'm 35 years old.
06:23 I was like, oh, what should I do with it?
06:25 And they were like, bounce around with your friends.
06:27 [LAUGHTER]
06:28 They were like, bounce around with your friends.
06:32 You might avoid being bottom because I used to have a pogo
06:34 stick, and I quite liked it.
06:35 And that's the only reason.
06:36 I really like the image of you on a pogo stick.
06:38 [LAUGHTER]
06:39 That's quite good.
06:41 Got into a nasty accident with Mark.
06:43 Landed on his foot.
06:44 Poor lad.
06:44 Was he one of your students?
06:46 [LAUGHTER]
06:48 [APPLAUSE]
06:51 Hi, Frankie.
06:52 You must be feeling pretty confident here.
06:55 I've brought something that pops up regularly in my house.
06:58 I've tried to throw it out of my house,
07:00 I think, on three occasions.
07:02 And it always returns.
07:03 And I've ended up just hanging it on the wall in my living room.
07:06 And it is this very sinister painting.
07:09 Here it is.
07:10 [LAUGHTER]
07:14 It is awful.
07:15 But I sort of love it.
07:16 Who's putting it up?
07:17 The children deny.
07:19 [LAUGHTER]
07:20 But they're not trustworthy.
07:22 What is the least brilliant thing that pops up, Greg?
07:25 Well, what do you think?
07:26 I feel like it might be the pop-tart.
07:27 It is.
07:28 Oh.
07:28 It's just annoyed me.
07:29 It's out.
07:30 One point.
07:30 One point to me.
07:31 Pogo stick, two points.
07:32 Oh.
07:33 Book, lazy, three points.
07:35 Right.
07:35 [LAUGHTER]
07:36 Unbelievably, a whack-a-mole.
07:37 He got some faces out.
07:39 I don't know why it's got four points, Mae.
07:41 You're right.
07:42 It's inconsistent.
07:43 That's fine.
07:44 Four to either.
07:45 And that painting doesn't deserve any praise.
07:47 But weirdly, it's getting five points.
07:48 There.
07:49 That's it.
07:49 One, two, three, four, five points.
07:51 [APPLAUSE]
07:51 But thank you.
07:54 Let's get tasking.
07:56 Well, more like, let's get pulping.
07:57 [MUSIC PLAYING]
08:01 [MUSIC PLAYING]
08:04 [MUSIC PLAYING]
08:08 [MUSIC PLAYING]
08:12 Hello, Alex.
08:12 Hi, Jenny.
08:13 Please stand on the little circle.
08:15 OK.
08:16 What do you think this is?
08:18 Frying pan.
08:19 A Victorian satellite.
08:21 I think this is like a World War II bomb.
08:23 Be careful.
08:24 I'll put the safety gloves on.
08:25 Of course, if it's a bomb.
08:26 Yeah.
08:27 Yeah, yeah.
08:28 OK.
08:29 Rotate the pulper wheel without pulping the egg.
08:32 You must not move from this spot at any point.
08:35 If you pulp the egg, you are disqualified.
08:37 Most rotations wins.
08:39 You have a maximum of 10 minutes.
08:41 Pulper wheel, obviously.
08:45 Then what's the pulper?
08:46 I see no egg.
08:48 This is a pulper, right?
08:50 And the egg's in it.
08:51 Where?
08:52 Wait, hang on.
08:53 What's a pulper?
08:54 Obviously, it's very tempting to go, ha, ha.
08:57 He's lived his whole life in cotton wool.
08:58 He's never used a pulper wheel.
09:00 But even much more practical contestants than me,
09:05 this is their first time doing this, I think.
09:09 Can I say I don't know what a pulper is?
09:11 Have you said your time starts now yet?
09:13 No.
09:14 I wouldn't dream of it.
09:16 You're going to have to say your time starts now.
09:19 It's as I was out.
09:20 [LAUGHTER]
09:21 [APPLAUSE]
09:24 Over this series, we're building up a very clear picture
09:27 of what you were like as a child.
09:28 [LAUGHTER]
09:31 I've met that boy so many times.
09:33 [LAUGHTER]
09:36 Shall we start?
09:36 Yes, let's start.
09:37 We purchased the pulper, and this is what's going to happen.
09:39 First up, we're going to see Kael and Frankie
09:42 starring in a little film I've called Pulp Friction.
09:45 The egg, you said, is what, inside?
09:48 In the mouth of the pulper?
09:50 Where's that?
09:50 I can't tell you anymore.
09:51 But I want to see it.
09:52 You can't see it?
09:53 How do I know it's there?
09:54 You have to take my word for it.
09:56 Try that before.
09:58 So it's just a kind of blind, shrewd, injurious egg.
10:02 Exactly what it is.
10:03 So what's the process?
10:04 That?
10:06 This?
10:07 The pulper machine--
10:08 Yes.
10:08 --has a knuckled, rotating drum that, as it rotates,
10:12 presses the cherries across an iron faceplate.
10:14 It might be a different one.
10:15 The pulper drives the impeller to rotate through the motor,
10:18 and the slurry in the tank is sucked out.
10:20 What's a slurry?
10:21 [LAUGHTER]
10:23 Oh, yeah.
10:25 Oh, I hear the egg.
10:26 [MUSIC PLAYING]
10:29 [RATTLING]
10:32 Of course, it'll turn.
10:34 Do you reckon that was the egg?
10:36 Does it sound like an egg?
10:38 Or a calculator.
10:39 [LAUGHTER]
10:42 [MUSIC PLAYING]
10:45 [LAUGHTER]
10:49 [RATTLING]
10:52 [LAUGHTER]
10:54 That's one rotation.
10:56 I mean, it can't be pulped if it's making that much noise.
11:00 I mean, that's another way of looking at it.
11:02 [RATTLING]
11:05 [LAUGHTER]
11:08 [LAUGHTER]
11:11 [LAUGHTER]
11:13 I don't think that was the egg.
11:14 [LAUGHTER]
11:15 That's half a rotation.
11:17 I wonder if it goes faster, it's less likely to break.
11:21 [MUSIC PLAYING]
11:23 [RATTLING]
11:27 Yeah, I think the lack of speed is the problem.
11:31 Oh, yeah.
11:32 [MUSIC PLAYING]
11:35 [RATTLING]
11:36 [LAUGHTER]
11:39 [RATTLING]
11:42 I know what that was.
11:44 Plastic chair.
11:45 Plastic chair.
11:46 OK.
11:47 [MUSIC PLAYING]
11:51 [RATTLING]
11:53 We're on eight and a half rotations.
11:56 Stopping there?
11:57 Yeah, I think that's pretty good.
11:59 [LAUGHTER]
12:01 Nothing there.
12:03 Two.
12:04 [MUSIC PLAYING]
12:07 [RATTLING]
12:09 It's gone.
12:10 You stopping there?
12:11 Yeah, it's gone.
12:12 Two and three quarters rotations.
12:13 [APPLAUSE]
12:17 This is the first time I've seen the interior of the pulper.
12:20 So they were blind, obviously.
12:21 And the more you spun it, the higher the egg
12:24 got towards danger.
12:25 That's how it worked.
12:28 Eight and a half turns, then, is quite an impressive bit
12:31 of pre-pulp spinning.
12:33 Brinkmanship.
12:33 The egg survived for both of them.
12:35 We've got a score of eight and a half versus two
12:37 and three quarters, but they're both still in play.
12:39 I put it to you, Kael, that throughout the task,
12:41 and indeed when you left, you didn't know what was going on.
12:44 [LAUGHTER]
12:46 I still don't know what a pulper is.
12:48 We want to show more?
12:49 Yeah.
12:50 OK, next up to the pulper are Jenny and May.
12:55 Right, so the egg is in the machine.
12:57 Oh, yeah.
12:58 I'm going to go very gently.
12:59 [MUSIC PLAYING]
13:03 [SPLASHING]
13:06 [LAUGHTER]
13:07 That's the egg.
13:09 I haven't even done a single rotation yet, have I?
13:12 No.
13:13 Oh, fuck it, pulp the egg.
13:15 It's not under pulpit.
13:17 Pulp the stupid egg.
13:18 Yeah, get the egg, pulp.
13:20 I'm not going to win anyway.
13:24 There's no way that egg is not pulped.
13:26 That's one rotation.
13:28 I'm going to pulp this egg.
13:30 Get it pulped.
13:31 I want to get smashed to smithereens.
13:33 You've still got nine minutes.
13:35 What?
13:35 I can't keep this up for another nine.
13:39 In the olden days, is this what the pulpers did?
13:41 Pulpers would come home to their wives.
13:43 The wives would be like, did you pulp the egg?
13:47 I did eight rotations.
13:48 I want 10.
13:53 You want 10?
13:53 OK, 10 rotations.
13:55 [MUSIC PLAYING]
13:58 [GASPING]
13:59 It's smashed, isn't it?
14:00 The egg's smashed.
14:01 That's 11.
14:03 I think an egg could survive this.
14:06 [GASPING]
14:09 [GASPING]
14:12 She's not the egg.
14:15 13.
14:16 I'm 13.
14:17 OK.
14:18 Yeah?
14:18 Yeah.
14:19 Thanks, Jenny.
14:21 How long?
14:22 You've got just 30 seconds.
14:23 [MUSIC PLAYING]
14:26 I would just poke myself if I hadn't pulped it
14:29 and I stopped turning.
14:30 [MUSIC PLAYING]
14:34 [GASPING]
14:37 [GASPING]
14:39 [APPLAUSE]
14:45 I'm intrigued by the characters that you created during that.
14:48 Mr. And Mrs. Egg Pulper.
14:49 Yeah.
14:50 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
14:50 Where are they from, that couple?
14:52 Wherever Nancy from Oliver Twist is from.
14:54 They're all, yeah, ow, like that.
14:58 I mean, I really enjoyed that.
15:00 They did very well, but also very badly,
15:01 which means Kyle is still in second place.
15:04 And sometimes it doesn't matter if you don't understand
15:06 the task.
15:08 Right, part one is about to have it on its toes.
15:11 Open the back doors of the van and we'll
15:12 bundle part two in shortly.
15:14 Bye.
15:15 [APPLAUSE]
15:17 [MUSIC PLAYING]
15:20 [APPLAUSE]
15:26 Oh, yes.
15:29 Hello, we're back.
15:30 It's the second part of the show and there's
15:32 a really noisy task in motion to test the bravery
15:35 of our quivering quintet.
15:36 Yes, they're proactive pulpers, that's for sure.
15:39 None of them knew what was happening inside the machine,
15:41 but they knew they needed to keep their eggs intact
15:43 at all costs.
15:44 So far, there have been two successful and two
15:46 unsuccessful attempts.
15:48 So here's Ivo Graham to upset the balance.
15:52 I haven't been very good at lateral thinking tasks
15:54 and I haven't been very good at egg tasks.
15:58 I'm going to find the egg.
16:00 [MUSIC PLAYING]
16:03 Can I move this spot?
16:06 All of the information is on the task.
16:09 Yeah, but--
16:13 [MUSIC PLAYING]
16:16 Are you now better informed?
16:24 No, I wish I hadn't seen all this.
16:25 [LAUGHTER]
16:29 Oh.
16:32 You've got five minutes left.
16:33 Yep.
16:33 [MUSIC PLAYING]
16:40 [APPLAUSE]
16:42 [INAUDIBLE]
16:43 [MUSIC PLAYING]
16:47 You've got three minutes left.
16:55 30.
16:56 30.
16:56 31.
16:57 33.
16:58 [MUSIC PLAYING]
17:01 [LAUGHTER]
17:03 10 seconds.
17:04 Last pulp.
17:05 [MUSIC PLAYING]
17:11 [APPLAUSE]
17:14 I felt some weird level of pride watching the Ivo frog
17:20 bounce his way around.
17:22 I think there was immense dignity watching my body
17:25 spasm with a glove in my mouth.
17:29 So it wasn't cheating?
17:31 It just had to stay on the spot at all times.
17:33 Oh, shit.
17:34 Why didn't I think of that?
17:36 Well, he clearly rotated it more than anyone else.
17:39 56 times.
17:40 Congratulations, Ivo.
17:41 [APPLAUSE]
17:44 So Jenny and May don't get any points.
17:46 Apologies.
17:46 Three points to Kael, four to Frankie, but of course,
17:49 five to Ivo Graham.
17:50 [APPLAUSE]
17:53 Let's have a scoreboard, Math Boy.
17:54 OK.
17:55 It means that those two, Frankie and Ivo,
17:57 are in the joint leading spots.
17:59 Nine points each.
18:00 [APPLAUSE]
18:03 I think it's about time we did another team task.
18:05 Ooh, I do too, Greg.
18:06 It feels so right.
18:08 So here's a pretty sweet one just for you.
18:11 [MUSIC PLAYING]
18:14 Hey, I.
18:27 Frankie.
18:29 Hi, Ivo.
18:30 Hello.
18:31 Oh, my goodness.
18:32 This has gone a bit S&M-y.
18:34 OK.
18:36 Hello.
18:37 Ooh.
18:39 It's you first.
18:40 Me?
18:41 Mm-hmm.
18:41 Do we have a safe word?
18:47 You've done this before.
18:48 Yeah, I'm really at home.
18:49 Great.
18:50 Jenny?
18:50 Well, I've been arrested, obviously,
18:52 but I haven't done sex games with these.
18:57 Couple more things.
18:57 Jelly babies.
19:01 Are they jelly babies?
19:02 Yeah.
19:03 They're numbered.
19:04 One, two, three, four, five.
19:05 Completely free yourselves and have a team hug.
19:14 Fastest team hug wins.
19:17 Your time starts now.
19:20 OK.
19:20 So there's a one on here.
19:22 And is there another number on this one?
19:25 This is two.
19:26 Mm.
19:27 [APPLAUSE]
19:31 Well, Jenny and Claire's the chirpiest S&M-er I've ever met.
19:36 Fun.
19:37 Listen, let's focus on the task.
19:38 OK, right.
19:39 I'm looking forward to seeing them free themselves.
19:41 OK, let's see the handcuffed threesome of May, Jenny,
19:45 and Kiel.
19:46 There's a key here.
19:47 Kiel, can you reach the key?
19:49 Let's try.
19:49 [BEEPING]
19:52 [LAUGHTER]
19:53 Stretch.
19:54 Come on.
19:55 That's definitely impossible.
19:57 So let's think for a minute.
19:58 I'm going to count my two's.
20:00 I've got 15 in here.
20:01 One.
20:03 Hey, what's that?
20:03 Menu.
20:05 OK, so these are different flavored Jelly Babies.
20:08 OK, well, I'm going to bite the head off one
20:10 and see if it's got a flavor.
20:11 Four.
20:12 Oh, Jesus Christ, that's the most disgusting thing
20:14 I've ever eaten in my life.
20:16 I think it might be chicken feet.
20:18 Four.
20:19 Would you like to have the bottom half?
20:21 There's 15 in here, too.
20:22 I'm going to feed you one of these.
20:23 What?
20:24 Wait, but what is the--
20:25 because you want to, or what?
20:26 Is there a plan behind it?
20:27 This is a five-digit code, and there's five glasses.
20:30 But then what does it prove?
20:32 We're going to have to figure out what flavor all these are.
20:35 And then we're going to have to use those.
20:36 Those aren't numbers.
20:37 But that will correspond with the periodic table somehow.
20:40 Before I bite anything, I need to know--
20:43 Four.
20:44 Yeah.
20:44 Yeah, you're very bad, very bad.
20:47 Wasabi.
20:48 Wasabi, OK.
20:49 Wait, but what do you mean OK?
20:50 Like, OK, and then what?
20:51 That's going to correspond with that.
20:53 Like, maybe the initials of it?
20:55 What's W?
20:56 74.
20:59 Oh!
21:02 That's mint and gravy.
21:03 I'm going mint and gravy.
21:04 That's mint and gravy.
21:05 So you had wasabi.
21:06 I'm going to be sick.
21:08 The other gravy is MG, which is magnesium.
21:11 And what number?
21:12 12.
21:12 OK.
21:14 So you think that I should have 12 and then go to the 74?
21:17 Yes, so 1, 2, 7, 4.
21:19 7, 4, OK.
21:20 I'm going to keep eating them, then.
21:22 Number three is green.
21:28 You can do it.
21:29 Hold on, May.
21:33 If I do it one by one, it's going to give us
21:35 a clue to what it might be.
21:37 Oh, that's really clever.
21:40 Yes!
21:40 Yes!
21:41 What was it?
21:42 Zero.
21:42 OK, so what starts with a zero?
21:44 What starts with a zero?
21:46 So it could be bacon and kale.
21:47 It could be broccoli.
21:49 Is that the green one?
21:49 Could it be broccoli?
21:50 That's a B. 0, 5, 5.
21:52 So we start with 5 on the next slot.
21:54 We're on to--
21:55 OK.
21:57 It's really weird.
22:00 This is definitely pepper and beetroot.
22:01 Oh, that's definitely beetroot.
22:03 Lead, 82.
22:05 And then the next one was seaweed.
22:10 Oh, seaweed, I've got it.
22:11 I've just got it.
22:12 I've really hit--
22:12 Yes, it's seaweed.
22:14 16.
22:15 Oi!
22:18 Thank you.
22:23 Well done!
22:24 Well done!
22:24 Oh, it's been hugged!
22:25 [APPLAUSE]
22:29 Is it fair to say that Jenny and May were the most active members
22:33 of the escape committee?
22:35 What I will say is that that has been edited very nicely
22:41 in my favor, because I was a monster in that room.
22:46 I'm so glad they cut it out, because it was really tense.
22:49 I wasn't putting fucking broccoli jelly babies
22:51 in my mouth.
22:53 I mean, that much quickly became apparent.
22:56 It was a very difficult task.
22:58 They took the same amount of time
22:59 you could listen to All That I Want As Another Baby five times.
23:02 17 minutes 50.
23:06 OK, time for a break.
23:07 It's time for those couples watching
23:09 who let the family dog sleep in the same bed as them
23:12 to reflect on the day you threw the towel in on your love life.
23:15 Bye!
23:15 [APPLAUSE]
23:17 [MUSIC PLAYING]
23:21 [APPLAUSE]
23:24 Hello, and a warm welcome back to part three.
23:29 Tell me stuff, Alex.
23:31 Sure, Greg.
23:31 Well, jelly babies, the periodic table, handcuffs,
23:34 and the ultimate goal of a hug.
23:36 That's a typical day for me.
23:37 Coincidentally, they're also the main ingredients
23:39 of the current team task.
23:40 But how quickly will the intelligent team of Frankie
23:43 and Ivo work out the conundrum, release themselves
23:45 from the cuffs, and embrace victorious?
23:47 Let's find out.
23:49 Right.
23:51 Do we both have a five?
23:52 Sure, OK.
23:53 That's quite unpleasant, isn't it?
23:57 Green.
23:59 Might be broccoli.
24:00 In fact, it is broccoli, I think.
24:02 OK.
24:03 Number four is hot, don't you think?
24:06 Oh.
24:07 Really fucking unpleasant.
24:08 Could be cumin and radish.
24:09 Cumin and radish.
24:11 There must be a CR.
24:13 So maybe if broccoli was B, so if we took that as five.
24:17 Yeah, CR, chromium, 24.
24:20 But how does that help us, because that gives us two digits.
24:23 Unless we add them together.
24:24 Why don't we add two and four together to make six?
24:26 Let's see what number three is.
24:30 This doesn't have a lot of taste to it.
24:32 Mint and gravy?
24:33 Yeah.
24:34 Magnesium, which is 12.
24:37 So we add those together, that would be three.
24:39 No.
24:40 I reckon if you just laid out the 10 numbers,
24:43 the first five would be padlock one,
24:45 and the second five would be padlock two.
24:47 Well, that's complicated things.
24:50 I think both the padlocks will be the same.
24:51 BUZZER
24:53 No?
24:54 Close your eyes.
24:56 Pepper and beetroot, maybe?
24:57 PB.
24:59 Eight, two would give us 10, which is a two-digit number,
25:02 which is no use in this five-digit debacle.
25:05 Adding those numbers together.
25:07 You know, it does seem a waste of, you know,
25:09 all these two-digit elements.
25:12 Well, OK, that's just bad, you.
25:14 I've got so much respect for you, Frankie,
25:16 but I don't think it's adding the numbers together.
25:19 I've never thought that.
25:21 Your system or mine?
25:24 Oh, let's go with yours, man.
25:25 OK, so, one, two, seven, four.
25:29 Broccoli, B, so the last number is O.
25:33 Yes!
25:35 And now...
25:36 That's so wrong.
25:39 Start with a five.
25:41 Eight, two.
25:42 Get ready to hug, Frankie.
25:43 There's the one.
25:45 Here comes the six.
25:46 You're not... You're not completely free.
25:52 Uh-oh.
25:54 I'm annoyed.
25:55 I meant cubit.
25:56 There's no key here.
26:03 Oh, and a jelly baby thing?
26:04 It's not fair that you should make a task feel so like
26:12 it's finally finished and then it's just been getting started.
26:15 It's right there above the periodic table.
26:20 It turned out to be a good-wishing hug, I'm afraid.
26:24 Not for me, baby.
26:25 Close hugs, for me, adorable.
26:36 The handcuffed hug, particularly.
26:39 You felt reticent to point out to Frankie that his system was incorrect?
26:44 Well, obviously, there was a period where there was a very strong
26:47 chance that Frankie's system might be correct.
26:49 It's co-pilot syndrome, isn't it?
26:50 You know, a lot of plane crashes happen because...
26:53 ..the co-pilot is too scared to say to the brash pilot,
26:58 "Look, we're going to cut the fucking ground here."
27:01 And I was that guy.
27:07 During it, I asked Alex to isolate a picture of the co-pilot's face
27:11 when he knew that he had the answer but wasn't sure he should say anything.
27:15 This is the face? Yeah.
27:16 Let's talk about points.
27:24 OK, the team of three took 17 minutes and 50 seconds.
27:29 The team of two took 42 minutes...
27:32 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
27:35 I'm getting five points for the team of three. Of course it is.
27:40 The team of two did achieve the task eventually.
27:42 Oh, yeah, those points.
27:44 I can't give them any more than two points for that.
27:45 All right, five points to the team of three, two to the team of two!
27:48 There it is.
27:49 Can we fit one more task in, please?
27:53 Definitely, Greg, and this one begins with them
27:55 making some very important decisions.
27:58 MUSIC PLAYS
28:01 This gold pen reminds me of school.
28:15 Like, one boy in a year would have a gold pen.
28:18 I'd have it by the end of the year, though.
28:20 LAUGHTER
28:23 Oh.
28:24 Write down a number between zero and 100.
28:28 A length of time between one minute and 20 minutes.
28:31 Five ingredients.
28:33 A country, a noun...
28:35 And an adjective.
28:37 This seems too simple.
28:39 You have three minutes.
28:40 Your time starts now.
28:42 Why does that seem so easy?
28:43 Well, and then what do I have to do with it?
28:45 Prism with some trick involved.
28:48 A number between zero and 100.
28:50 50.
28:51 80.
28:52 42.
28:53 Meaning of life.
28:54 45.
28:55 Seven.
28:56 Lovely.
28:57 A length of time between one minute and 20 minutes.
29:00 Two minutes.
29:01 15 minutes.
29:03 19 minutes.
29:04 Four minutes, 20 seconds.
29:08 Also meaning of life.
29:10 21 seconds.
29:11 LAUGHTER
29:15 One minute and 21 seconds.
29:17 LAUGHTER
29:18 Five ingredients.
29:20 These ingredients are going to bounce back and hit me in the face.
29:23 Chilli.
29:24 Cherries.
29:25 Sausage, ketchup, bun, mustard, grilled onions.
29:27 You know what that means.
29:29 No?
29:30 Foddle.
29:31 Basil.
29:33 Cumin.
29:34 Garlic.
29:35 Salt.
29:36 And...
29:37 Cannellini beans.
29:38 A country.
29:39 Scotland.
29:40 France.
29:41 Guatemala.
29:42 Kenya.
29:43 Germany.
29:44 Who's lived there?
29:45 A noun.
29:46 Duck.
29:47 Duck.
29:48 Shoe.
29:49 Dog.
29:50 Dog.
29:51 Duck.
29:52 Shoe.
29:53 Dog.
29:54 Bench.
29:55 Lodge.
29:56 Splendid.
29:57 Feisty.
29:58 12 seconds.
29:59 Oh.
30:00 Towering.
30:01 Gold.
30:02 Is this a trick?
30:03 Ooh.
30:04 Three lights on.
30:05 All right.
30:06 LAUGHTER
30:07 LAUGHTER
30:08 APPLAUSE
30:09 LAUGHTER
30:10 APPLAUSE
30:11 APPLAUSE
30:12 LAUGHTER
30:13 LAUGHTER
30:14 APPLAUSE
30:15 LAUGHTER
30:16 APPLAUSE
30:17 LAUGHTER
30:18 APPLAUSE
30:19 APPLAUSE
30:20 APPLAUSE
30:21 APPLAUSE
30:22 APPLAUSE
30:23 APPLAUSE
30:24 APPLAUSE
30:25 APPLAUSE
30:26 APPLAUSE
30:27 APPLAUSE
30:28 APPLAUSE
30:29 APPLAUSE
30:30 APPLAUSE
30:31 APPLAUSE
30:32 APPLAUSE
30:33 The adjectives are more interesting than the nouns.
30:34 Duck, duck, shoe, dog, bench.
30:35 That's what they've gone for.
30:36 The two of them went for duck, the first noun that came...
30:37 Yeah.
30:38 There were a lot of ducks around the house, though.
30:39 That may have something to do with it.
30:40 Yes.
30:41 There were?
30:42 Like, lots?
30:43 They're not real ducks.
30:44 OK.
30:45 LAUGHTER
30:46 Shall we start with the Double Duckers?
30:47 Double Duckers.
30:48 Yes.
30:49 Hello.
30:50 Hi.
30:51 If it isn't my dream five ingredients...
30:54 LAUGHTER
30:55 Make a splendid Guatemalan duck.
30:58 Make a feisty French duck.
31:00 You must use all these ingredients and you must also clap 80 times.
31:04 And you must also clap 42 times.
31:06 You have four minutes and 20 seconds.
31:08 You have 19 minutes.
31:10 Your time starts now.
31:11 MUSIC PLAYS
31:12 CLAPS
31:14 I could have picked any noun and I picked duck.
31:18 So, which is a food.
31:20 Eight, nine, 80.
31:22 That would be good news if any of this was...
31:25 duck.
31:26 LAUGHTER
31:27 It smells good.
31:30 Does it? Yeah, sweet corn.
31:31 Sure, so, duck.
31:33 What I need is to make a mould of a duck.
31:36 Christ, the time!
31:39 LAUGHTER
31:40 That's a duck.
31:41 Good.
31:44 Really good.
31:46 No, no, not so good.
31:48 Why didn't I just ask for more time and I designed my own task?
31:51 Oh, it's burning, it's burning.
31:54 French duck.
31:56 Oh!
31:58 LAUGHTER
31:59 Oh!
32:01 Um, so, what else is, uh...
32:04 I think this is all about confidence.
32:08 LAUGHTER
32:15 I think I've just got to do it.
32:17 I'll just be honest.
32:19 WHISTLE BLOWS
32:20 Good evening.
32:24 Good evening, Mae.
32:26 I've made for you a splendid Guatemalan duck.
32:29 Bonjour, Alex.
32:33 Bonjour, my love.
32:34 I've been busy.
32:38 Too late to pop a little berry on?
32:43 Do you see the beak?
32:45 Do I see the wings?
32:47 Uh, they were removed.
32:48 It's Guatemalan cos of the sauce, is it?
32:50 And corn comes from Central America.
32:52 Mm-hm.
32:53 Splendid.
32:54 Why is he French?
32:58 Well, the garlic is obviously doing some pretty heavy lifting.
33:01 It's too heavy to hang around the neck, unfortunately.
33:04 He's got a beret on, but I did forget to do all my claps.
33:07 Yeah, it's good. Really?
33:09 Yeah. I like it.
33:10 Thank you.
33:11 APPLAUSE
33:13 And, Mae, I'll put it to you that your duck mould was no more useful
33:18 than just chucking two piles of sweetcorn onto a plate.
33:21 Yeah.
33:22 Did you think the end result was splendid?
33:24 Actually, Alex, like, went back for a second bite.
33:27 Like, it was not that bad.
33:29 He'll eat anything, though, at the moment.
33:31 All of that is true.
33:32 You won't eat anything, will you, Alex?
33:34 I didn't see you sort of tucking into my...
33:36 All I could do, surely, was lick your duck.
33:39 Niftily moving that spot around the pulper feels a long time ago now.
33:44 It does make me feel quite sorry for you sometimes
33:47 when you grip your head.
33:49 Yeah.
33:50 Like a chimpanzee whose habitat is under threat.
33:53 Oh, dear.
33:55 Right, there's just one part left,
33:57 and in it, someone will win today's competition and scream,
34:00 "Yes! At last! I've won a Professor Brian Cox Pop-Tart
34:03 "and a Pogo stick!"
34:05 "At last! I've won a Professor Brian Cox Pop-Tart and a Pogo stick!
34:09 "Whoo!"
34:11 Hello again.
34:23 Welcome back to the final instalment of today's show.
34:25 Alex, can you please sum up your break for me in one word?
34:28 Plop.
34:30 "Rather than go into detail, let's get the current task finished.
34:33 "I've wrote down some numbers, some ingredients, a country, a noun
34:36 "and an adjective, all to give them the chance to make the next part
34:39 "of the task nice and easy for them.
34:41 "Here's Frankie making a dog, Jenny making a shoe
34:43 "and Kiel making a bench."
34:46 So these are the things I mentioned earlier. It was a trick.
34:50 "Make a large Scottish dog."
34:53 "Make a cowering Kenyan bench."
34:56 "Make a gold German shoe."
34:58 "You must use all these ingredients."
35:01 "You must also clap seven times."
35:03 "50 times."
35:05 "75 times. You have 15 minutes.
35:07 "Most accurate creation wins."
35:09 "One minute and 21 seconds."
35:12 "Two minutes?"
35:14 "Yeah, that's what you wanted."
35:16 "Oh, God!"
35:23 "The time starts now."
35:26 "You've got just over a minute left."
35:28 "Oh, what?"
35:30 "I'm going to cook that fucking potato, cos it's going to be edible."
35:33 "We've got an eye."
35:35 "Oh, man."
35:37 "There is a gold shoe outside."
35:41 "Mein Geld scho..."
35:43 "Bitter?"
35:45 "Jawohl."
35:47 "I was hoping that'd look like a tail, but it just looks like it's
35:49 "shat everywhere."
35:51 "You've got 30 seconds."
35:53 "That goes in there like that."
35:57 "Oh, my God."
35:59 WHISTLE BLOWS
36:01 "Hi, Frankie."
36:06 "Hi."
36:08 "What have you made me?"
36:10 "I've made you a large Scottish dog.
36:12 "Look, there's the St Andrew's flag there."
36:14 "Oh, to show that it's Scottish?"
36:16 "Yeah, but what's showing that it's a dog?"
36:18 LAUGHTER
36:20 "That's dinner. It's here."
36:22 "It's a slightly undercooked chilli con carne."
36:24 "Oh."
36:26 "I'd eat with caution and milk."
36:28 "I normally do."
36:30 "It's a cowering Kenyan bench."
36:32 "Can you show me the Kenyan aspect?"
36:36 "It's difficult to see with the human eye,
36:38 "but on every part of those grilled onions,
36:42 "it says Nairobi."
36:44 "Oh, is it a cowering..."
36:46 "It's hiding from this..."
36:48 "It's not really a sort of eating situation, is it?"
36:51 "Oh."
36:53 "Very nice." "Is it?"
36:59 "This might be my perfect meal."
37:01 LAUGHTER
37:03 "Taste of Africa."
37:07 "It's delicious."
37:09 APPLAUSE
37:11 "Well, I suppose the obvious question is to Frankie,
37:15 "and it's, um, have you ever seen a dog before?"
37:18 "Big red eyes of a Scottish dog."
37:21 "A singular big red eye of the flowery Scottish dog."
37:26 "In what way is chilli con carne stuck in a shoe, German?"
37:30 "Other than you kept speaking like a cast member of 'Ello, Ello'?"
37:34 "I just was trying my best.
37:37 "I know that you're going to tell me something that's so awful.
37:41 "I don't think I clapped. I don't think I fucking clapped.
37:45 "I don't think I clapped.
37:47 "Did I clap? I didn't clap."
37:49 "Jenny, not only did you not clap,
37:51 "you finished with one minute to go and sat down."
37:54 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
37:56 "Kyle, I have to say, it was pretty impressive
38:00 "that you managed to create that,
38:02 "and I did understand the imagery as well.
38:05 "I mean, I maybe questioned whether he'd had time
38:09 "to engrave Nairobi onto the onions."
38:12 "It's hard to see. I genuinely was quite impressed."
38:15 "Do you think Jenny's chilli nice?"
38:17 "The task wasn't really about whether it tasted nice,
38:19 "I didn't have to either."
38:21 "Oh, no, it was just making conversation, you bellend."
38:24 LAUGHTER
38:26 "Go on, let's get on, if you like."
38:28 "Here are all five. Pay close attention to Frankie's top left.
38:32 "Also, he didn't clap, so it's not that relevant."
38:35 "Well, they're all so wonderful, I feel a bit mean giving zero.
38:39 "I would give the people who didn't clap one charity point."
38:43 "Frankie, Ivo and Jenny all one point."
38:45 "And the other two. I'm sure I'll be judged very harshly for this,
38:48 "but I am more impressed by the bench."
38:50 LAUGHTER
38:51 "I am. It took only a minute. Kyle gets five points."
38:54 APPLAUSE
38:56 "Can we have a scoreboard update, please?"
38:58 "In this episode, Greg, two people who've not won a show yet could do.
39:01 "Kyle's in the lead on 15, Frankie's in joint second on 12."
39:04 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
39:07 Right, then.
39:10 You know the drill. Please vacate those seats
39:13 for the final task of the show.
39:15 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
39:17 Hello, young man. My tongue is still sore.
39:26 Who will read the task out?
39:28 May Martin, please.
39:30 Say the word given to you by the Taskmaster
39:33 in the accent on the card you choose.
39:36 The Taskmaster will guess what accent you're doing.
39:39 You get a score after three rounds wins.
39:41 I hope "Brancocks" is one of the options.
39:43 LAUGHTER
39:45 Are you ready for the first word? Yes. They've all been given a country.
39:48 We're going to start with May and go from right to left.
39:50 What's the first word, Greg?
39:52 Taskmaster.
39:54 Taskmaster.
39:56 Where is May from? Scotland.
40:02 Let's see on the card.
40:04 Oh!
40:06 My whole family are from Wales, May.
40:09 LAUGHTER
40:11 Next up, it's Kyle's.
40:12 Kyle, good luck.
40:14 Tis mister.
40:16 LAUGHTER
40:18 South African.
40:22 What's the country, Kyle?
40:24 New Zealand.
40:26 Oh!
40:27 Jenny's turn.
40:29 Taskmaster.
40:34 Sweden.
40:36 It's so close.
40:37 It is so close.
40:39 I vote ten.
40:40 Taskmaster?
40:42 Is Disney a country?
40:46 LAUGHTER
40:48 Generic American in America?
40:53 Sorry, May.
40:54 Canada.
40:56 Close. Sort of is generic America, isn't it?
40:58 No.
41:00 LAUGHTER
41:03 Frankie, are you all right?
41:05 Could get the first point in round one.
41:07 Taskmaster.
41:09 LAUGHTER
41:11 He's from Ireland.
41:13 He is from the Republic of Ireland.
41:15 Well done.
41:16 Now I'm going to give you a city.
41:18 What do they have to say this time, Greg?
41:20 They have to say my full name, Mr Gregory Daniel Davis.
41:23 Good luck, May.
41:24 Gregory Daniel Davis.
41:26 LAUGHTER
41:28 Good.
41:30 Glasgow.
41:32 It is...
41:33 ..Glasgow.
41:35 Kyle.
41:36 Mr Gregory Daniel Davis.
41:39 Los Angeles.
41:40 Yes.
41:42 That's it.
41:44 APPLAUSE
41:46 Good luck, Jenny.
41:49 Mr...
41:51 Gregory...
41:53 ..Daniel Davis.
41:55 LAUGHTER
41:58 LAUGHTER
42:00 It's the only one I can't do.
42:06 I don't think the squat is relevant.
42:09 LAUGHTER
42:11 I don't know. I mean, Moscow.
42:13 LAUGHTER
42:15 Twinned with...
42:17 LAUGHTER
42:19 I apologise to Newcastle, a city I love.
42:25 Oh, wow. That's sensational.
42:28 Ivo.
42:30 Mr Gregory Daniel Davis.
42:32 I think that's Ivo trying to sound like a...
42:35 ..street-tough New Yorker.
42:37 I'm sticking with it, New York.
42:39 I'm always trying to be street-tough.
42:41 It's New York!
42:43 APPLAUSE
42:45 Frankie.
42:46 Mr Gregory Daniel Davis.
42:48 LAUGHTER
42:50 Absolutely easy.
42:52 Belfast.
42:53 Frankie, for your impression, what's...
42:55 APPLAUSE
42:57 Man of a thousand voices.
42:59 Two voices.
43:01 LAUGHTER
43:03 So, round three's a little different.
43:05 This time it's walking.
43:07 On these cards, we've got all your names and our names.
43:11 They are in there several times, so you might have the same ones twice.
43:14 Grace is going to try to spot the person by the walk.
43:16 May's going to start, right? Yes.
43:18 OK. Good luck.
43:21 LAUGHTER
43:23 APPLAUSE
43:27 Whilst I personally don't think this is accurate...
43:33 LAUGHTER
43:34 ..Jamie Ickeber.
43:35 Are we correct? Yeah.
43:37 APPLAUSE
43:39 Cael.
43:41 LAUGHTER
43:43 APPLAUSE
43:48 Well, I presume it's a repeat.
43:50 It is possible that it's a repeat.
43:52 OK, I'll roll the dice. That was poor Jenny again.
43:55 She's become poor Jenny.
43:57 He's correct.
43:59 You know when laughs and tears are really, really funny?
44:02 LAUGHTER
44:04 Good luck. I'd love it if it's you.
44:06 LAUGHTER
44:08 LAUGHTER
44:13 LAUGHTER
44:15 I know that subservient gait.
44:25 Alex Horne.
44:27 Yes, it was Alex Horne.
44:29 APPLAUSE
44:31 Jenny's off the mark. Now, I vote.
44:33 LAUGHTER
44:38 APPLAUSE
44:40 LAUGHTER
44:42 It was the, in my opinion, very graceful...
44:48 LAUGHTER
44:50 ..Jenny O'Claire.
44:51 When does this cross into bullying?
44:53 LAUGHTER
44:54 I've already lost the episode. I just wanted to have a go at it.
44:57 LAUGHTER
44:59 APPLAUSE
45:01 Oh, lovely.
45:05 One left. Frankie with an unblemished distortion.
45:08 I'm sorry, Jenny O'Claire dice.
45:10 LAUGHTER
45:12 I think Frankie was doing Kiel.
45:20 May Martin.
45:24 And there we are.
45:25 We'll add all that to the final scores and see where we get to.
45:28 Come on down and join me.
45:30 APPLAUSE
45:36 You were best of spas. Good boy.
45:38 Thanks, mate. Oh, can I call you mate? Thanks, mate.
45:40 No. No.
45:42 Yes, well, Kiel, May and Frankie came joint first.
45:45 They each got two out of the three, so they get five points each.
45:49 Well done, then.
45:50 APPLAUSE
45:52 Unfortunately, thanks to Ivo throwing a go
45:54 and Jenny's Newcastle abomination,
45:57 they come joint fourth, so get two points each.
46:00 There we go. They still did very well.
46:02 APPLAUSE
46:03 We have a new winner.
46:04 Never guess who it is.
46:06 With 20 points, it's Kiel Smith-Baino!
46:08 APPLAUSE
46:10 Kiel Smith-Baino wins!
46:12 Please pop up to collect your proper prizes!
46:15 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:18 See you again soon, but please, let's hear it once more
46:20 for tonight's winner, Kiel Smith-Baino!
46:23 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:30 The Royal bids farewell to a millennium's worth of royal history
46:34 in his own special way.
46:36 Stream it now, and tomorrow at ten, the public see their chance,
46:40 and boy, do they grab it, as they show Rio Ferdinand,
46:43 Jack Whitehall and Jesse Ware the big questions
46:46 in the latest show with Mo Gilligan on Channel 4.
46:50 APPLAUSE
46:52 ♪ ♪