Meet the married swingers who encourage each other to sleep with other people

Meet the married swingers who encourage each other to sleep with other people and have visited over 20 countries for their 'sexploits'. Cate Wander, 37, and her husband, Darren, 47, a salesman, met 15 years ago in Sydney, Australia, and initially started dating as a monogamous couple. Five years into the relationship, the pair decided to open up about their different desires - ranging from career aspirations to sexual fantasies. They soon decided to identify as 'ethically non-monogamous' - which means they communicate before having sex with others outside their marriage. The adventurous couple decided to become swingers and haven't looked back since. Cate and Darren enjoyed the "openness" of the lifestyle so much, they "opened up their marriage" and have since travelled the world for their romps with other men and women - visiting Thailand, Japan, France, the US and the UK among other places. They hope to "break the stigma" surrounding non-monogamy and swinging. Cate, a podcaster, from Queensland, Australia, said: "The first time I swung I was terrified. “Theirs is a really negative stigma surrounding the lifestyle. I thought a hairy chested dude wearing a gold chain with a beer belly was going to come out and f*** me. “It was nothing like that at all there are people from all walks of life, it’s like any other bar except there are playrooms. “You drink, chat to different people and dance." Cate left her high-flying corporate career as a global director of operations in 2019 and openly came out as a swinger - after hiding it from the world due to 'a morality clause in her work contract'. Darrell works in sales but says his company have been accepting of his alternative lifestyle. The couple had their first swinging experience in a club in Sydney, Australia, and were initially apprehensive. They didn’t have any sexual encounters but acted as voyeurs - watching others without getting involved - dipping their toes in the possibilities of non-monogamy. Since then, they have relocated to the Netherlands and have had sex with other people all over the world - and regularly visit nudist resorts for their romps. Darrell added: "When we first swung I was scared and excited, but the feeling of excitement overruled. "We went into it with the wrong idea and had rigid rules we couldn't break. "We soon realised this wasn't the way to go as we can't predict how we might feel in one given moment and choose to communicate what we want in each moment instead. "We have guidelines for example, we won't take one for the team. "If one of us isn't interested we both aren't interested. "We come first and each have the veto power to leave a situation or a couple if one of us doesn't wish to continue." Cate and Darrell loved swinging so much - they quickly established themselves on the Sydney swinging scene. They regularly went to their favourite club in Sydney - Our Secret Spot - and enjoyed their new found sexual liberation. According to Cate, at first she had to overcome feelings of shame and confusion as she felt bad for being sexual with others in front of her husband but she quickly realised he loved it. The couple have lived and travelled all over the world in countries such as Singapore, Thailand, Malaysia, Japan, France, the US and the UK to have sex with others. They are now based just outside Amsterdam, Netherlands, and have lived there since March 2022 and say they love the "openness and fluidity of Dutch culture". “In the Netherlands people don’t bat an eyelid, everyone is very open here," Cate said. “Sexuality and nudity isn’t a big deal." Cate says non-monogamy and swinging is "viewed differently depending on where you are in the world" - in the south of France there is a naked city called Cap D’agde where 40,000 nudists live. In Malaysia and Thailand swinging is illegal so Cate says the scene is "hidden underground" and she claims in Japanese swing clubs "you can’t get in unless you speak fluent Japanese". The couple - who regularly host swinging events in US hotels - say swingers clubs are prevalent in all the major cities but are still highly stigmatised. In the UK there are 40 swinging clubs. Sex-positive advocate Cate describes the double-standard in society and says she believes ‘non-ethical’ monogamy - cheating - isn’t frowned upon as much as consensual non-monogamy. “More often than not, people on normal dating apps and who cheat on their partners non-consensually will have more sex than those who are part of the swinging lifestyle - yet are not stigmatised in the same way,” added Cate. She claims often employees who are found to be swingers are sacked from their jobs due to morality clauses in their contracts. According to Cate, many schoolteachers in the US have lost their jobs and in custody battles an individual’s swinging status could be used as a "weapon against them". The couple’s favourite sexual activities are 'puppy piles' - a l