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00:00:00["The Star-Spangled Banner"]
00:00:30["The Star-Spangled Banner"]
00:00:55["The Star-Spangled Banner"]
00:00:57It's an 11 o'clock miss, sir. Jones.
00:00:59And the finalists are Sergeant Gatling and Private Snuffy Smith.
00:01:03["The Star-Spangled Banner"]
00:01:08Never seen such a gun. Awkward as a pig in a gate.
00:01:14If I could use my old squirrel gun, that's what I'm gonna do.
00:01:21Private Smith, I've explained repeatedly that you must use the regulation arm.
00:01:25Lieutenant, I'll cut my baby teeth on that old squirrel gun.
00:01:33Go ahead, Sergeant.
00:01:40It's a bullseye, sir. They're tied at 160 apiece.
00:01:43And each has one more shot.
00:01:44Yes, sir.
00:01:45Snuffy Smith.
00:01:47You shoot a squirrel animal off the tip-top of a pine tree.
00:01:57It's a three o'clock miss, sir. The score is still 160.
00:02:00And Sergeant Gatling has one more shot.
00:02:01Yes, sir.
00:02:02["The Star-Spangled Banner"]
00:02:19Private Smith.
00:02:23You draw a bead on a barnside.
00:02:50Private Smith, please stand back there until Sergeant Gatling is fired.
00:03:00["The Star-Spangled Banner"]
00:03:04It's a bullseye, sir. Sergeant Gatling scores 161 to 160 for Private Smith.
00:03:11Congratulations, partner.
00:03:14Thank you, boys.
00:03:15Good work, Sergeant.
00:03:30Fighting this man in the whole United States Army.
00:03:34And that revenue a sergeant.
00:03:36All on account of one duck got me tending mules.
00:03:43If it weren't for the Army,
00:03:46it'd be the rip, snort, and a squall of fight never seen in these parts.
00:03:52Before the war, when we was wearing the big smokies,
00:03:56the sergeant was born winning those shooting medals.
00:03:59You were too busy dodging.
00:04:06Revenue us.
00:04:08Sneak in a box like a ring-tailed tiger.
00:04:12Shipless, low-down, worthless sergeant vomit.
00:04:20Oh, bodacious, under-witted idiot.
00:04:26Oh, you, oh, under-witted idiot.
00:04:35Stupid old, shipless old, worthless old sergeant.
00:04:41Sergeant.
00:04:43Sergeant Gatling,
00:04:44how can you allow your uniform to get in that condition?
00:04:46Well, I was...
00:04:47Have you no respect for the medal just awarded you?
00:04:49Yes, sir.
00:04:50What do you think of privates like this man here
00:04:51will think of you if you set such an example?
00:04:53Well, I'm sorry.
00:04:54Now go change that uniform.
00:05:00Why, I can't...
00:05:01I can't walk.
00:05:13There's nothing.
00:05:20What are you doing under the bed, snuffing?
00:05:23Nothing.
00:05:25I got a letter for you.
00:05:27I was looking for my reading spectacles.
00:05:32Well, you ought to be right here.
00:05:36I've got to clean them,
00:05:37because they got kind of dirty and...
00:05:41Oh, broke again.
00:05:45They never was no good.
00:05:48Snuffy, how come you never learned how to read or write?
00:05:51Book-bonding never shot a deer.
00:05:55Do you want to read a book?
00:05:56I sure do.
00:06:03My dear adopted soldier man.
00:06:06That air me.
00:06:07I simply must meet you,
00:06:09so I am coming up next visitor's day.
00:06:13Send me your photograph
00:06:14so that I can recognize you when I get there.
00:06:19How did you like the big layer cake I sent you?
00:06:23As ever, a lie's a murder.
00:06:26Big layer cake?
00:06:28It only fudged 17 cents.
00:06:31Yeah, but what about those two boxes of cigars
00:06:33and the silk scarf and the gold pen and pencil set?
00:06:36Oh, only got 10 or 12 dollars
00:06:39for the whole chicken caboodle on them.
00:06:42I know, but it's still a good source of extra revenue,
00:06:45and if you don't send her the photograph, it might stop.
00:06:55And if I do send her the photograph?
00:07:03Yes, sir.
00:07:04You see,
00:07:05this rocket appears to have some very unique features.
00:07:08Its performance in flight is controlled entirely
00:07:11from the ground by radio waves.
00:07:13Bob's ready for demonstration with the war department.
00:07:16You'll be in charge of the details.
00:07:19Well, how about going, sir?
00:07:22Oh, uh, sergeant.
00:07:26By the way, take Private Snuffy Smith along.
00:07:29He knows that country.
00:07:30Well, I don't think that'll be necessary, sir.
00:07:32I know the country, too.
00:07:34But he was born and raised there.
00:07:36Knows every hideout.
00:07:37Probably used them all.
00:07:39I'm sure he'll be very helpful.
00:07:41Yes, sir.
00:07:48Your adopted soldier,
00:07:53Snuffy Smith.
00:07:57I changed my mind about sending the picture.
00:08:00Good. Let's see it.
00:08:02Jeepers, don't you know that's being bad luck?
00:08:06Okay.
00:08:07Here, sit down. I'll read you what I got.
00:08:10Dear lady, your many presents received.
00:08:13Corporal Bruce.
00:08:17Corporal Bruce.
00:08:18Get your things together.
00:08:19We're leaving in the morning.
00:08:20Full equipment.
00:08:21Where are we going, sergeant?
00:08:22Up to the Big Smokies.
00:08:24The Big Smokies?
00:08:25Yes, special guard duty.
00:08:27We're leaving in the morning.
00:08:28Are we going anywhere near the Hooten Holler?
00:08:31We'll be stationed at Saddleback Lodge.
00:08:34Saddleback Lodge. I remember that.
00:08:36I took Lousy up there 30, 40 years ago to see it.
00:08:39I'll take you and six other men.
00:08:42Balls of power.
00:08:45I want to take Farrell, Wilson, Dixon,
00:08:49Brady, Jones, and Boscovitch.
00:08:52Oh, shucks.
00:08:53Ain't no one of them men what knows the Big Smokies.
00:08:57I want to get men that I can rely on.
00:09:00And I know those Big Smokies like the back of my hand.
00:09:05Oh, you'll love it up there, Corporal.
00:09:07The dogwood blossoms are as big as cabbages.
00:09:11And the hootens seem like canaries.
00:09:13Sergeant.
00:09:14I tell you, it's God's country.
00:09:17There's no place on earth like it.
00:09:19It's right next to heaven.
00:09:21That's the Great Smokies.
00:09:22Sergeant.
00:09:24Well, I'll see you in the morning.
00:09:26Sergeant.
00:09:30Would you like to go, Snuffy?
00:09:32I sure would.
00:09:34All right.
00:09:35I'll take you.
00:09:36Thank you, Sergeant.
00:09:37Thank you, Sergeant.
00:09:38Oh, it's all right.
00:09:40The captain ordered me to anyhow.
00:09:44Why, the...
00:09:46the big ring-tailed vomit.
00:09:49He had me hypnotized.
00:09:52All right, you three take the jeep up in front.
00:09:55Snuffy.
00:09:58Oh, all right, Corporal.
00:09:59You get in here.
00:10:00And Missouri, get in here with me.
00:10:01Keep going.
00:10:02Oh!
00:10:04Oh, you...
00:10:05You...
00:10:06You underweighted idiot.
00:10:08How do you expect a fellow to sleep?
00:10:12Come on, come on.
00:10:13There's not room for you in here.
00:10:15But I have a special conveyance all for you.
00:10:18You get all the privacy you want.
00:10:19Go on.
00:10:20Yes.
00:10:21Yes.
00:10:22Yes.
00:10:26Mr. Smith.
00:10:27Mr. Smith.
00:10:28Allow me to present B-40,
00:10:30who will be your companion on the trip.
00:10:33You mean I have to drive that blue-nosed mule?
00:10:37See you at Saddleback Lodge,
00:10:38if and when you get there.
00:10:41Balls of fire.
00:10:43If you weren't for Sergeant,
00:10:45I'd shake your bones till they rattle like cowbells.
00:10:49Let's go.
00:10:57Get up.
00:10:58Get up, boy.
00:11:27Get up.
00:11:57Hey!
00:12:28Hey!
00:12:33Hey!
00:12:42Oh, a staple, this blue-nosed army mule.
00:12:47You can't put him in the barn.
00:12:49A king?
00:12:51The barn ain't for mules.
00:12:53Balls of fire.
00:12:54I never heard such goings-on.
00:12:57Uh, who's the huddle-keeper here?
00:13:03Barney Google.
00:13:04Barney Google.
00:13:07Barney Google?
00:13:08You mean my cousin Barney?
00:13:10The worthless, shiftless gunk?
00:13:11Why me?
00:13:12Overgone the lean-to.
00:13:14Well, uh,
00:13:16till the vomit snuffies here.
00:13:20Agent.
00:13:22Mr. Barney Google.
00:13:26Agent.
00:13:27Mr. Barney Google.
00:13:29Come on, baby, that's fine.
00:13:31Here, take it.
00:13:32Take it, baby.
00:13:33Mr. Barney Google.
00:13:37Snuffy!
00:13:39Well, if it ain't a sight to make the buzzards happy.
00:13:42Cousin Barney Google.
00:13:43Welcome to the lodge, Snuffy.
00:13:45Uh, how come you up here on the big smokies?
00:13:47I'm half owner in a big adventure we've got up here.
00:13:50Well, I suppose that must be why the general sent me.
00:13:53Uh, what be?
00:13:55It's in the barn. Come on, I'll show it to you.
00:13:57Yeah.
00:13:59You know, I've raised all the finances to build this big invention.
00:14:02Matter of several thousand dollars.
00:14:04Well, what's my tacky breeches?
00:14:06This is a radio-activated rocket,
00:14:08operated by remote control.
00:14:10Yeah, any punk in here could see that.
00:14:12Professor James, Snuffy Smith was sent up here by the army.
00:14:15Oh, yes, uh, very nice of him.
00:14:19And this is Julie, the professor's daughter.
00:14:21A dash of the old stuff if I've ever seen one.
00:14:27My jeepers.
00:14:29I never see such rosy jaws and bright eyeballs.
00:14:32Well, thank you, Mr. Smith.
00:14:34Yeah, the general says to me, Snuffy,
00:14:36he says, I want you to go down there and guard that contraption.
00:14:39And then the general says to me,
00:14:41if you see any foreigners sneaking about,
00:14:43don't leave enough of them to give the buzzards an argument.
00:14:46Well, I'm glad you're in charge, Mr. Smith.
00:14:48And I'm going to take charge...
00:14:49George Berg Smith.
00:14:51Go on and take care of that mule.
00:14:53You shipless skunk.
00:14:56I'm Sergeant Gatling in charge of details.
00:14:58How do you do, Sergeant Gatling? I'm Barney Google.
00:15:00This is Professor James, and this is his daughter, Julie.
00:15:03The professor will explain the rocket to you.
00:15:05You see, as the usual rocket goes through the air,
00:15:08the TNT and the nitroglycerin are brought together by a decapitator.
00:15:13But I use an electromagnetic wave.
00:15:16You don't seem to understand.
00:15:17You see, what he's trying to explain...
00:15:18I'll try to make it a little clearer to you.
00:15:20You see, when the rocket goes up in the air,
00:15:21and they have a little course of cellophane,
00:15:23it brings out all the combustion of the molecules going through the race ring.
00:15:25And he doesn't just use a little forklift race, he sets it.
00:15:27And the molecules don't come back across the straight,
00:15:29and that's when the catalyst will still make more distance.
00:15:31Ah, an improvement.
00:15:37Now, you see, don't get too near it, Sergeant,
00:15:39because if the rocket goes up in the morsel, it may even stay.
00:15:41Now, watch your little cat face.
00:15:42All this out.
00:15:47Phew.
00:15:52What a mule.
00:15:53He passed us on the road like a pursuit plane would.
00:15:55That's why we call him P-40.
00:15:56Look, he isn't even out of breath.
00:15:58I want to talk to you.
00:15:59I want to tell you that I've sunk all my money in this rocket.
00:16:03Now I haven't got an asset in the world except a spark plug.
00:16:06You're underweighted, Egypt, supposing the contraption won't fly.
00:16:11Well, that's what's got me worried.
00:16:13According to the War Department, they're coming up to witness a trial flight.
00:16:17Now we discover that we need a new and more sensitive gyroscopic stabilizer.
00:16:21Google, you must have been behind the door when Brains was passed out.
00:16:25Why don't you buy the gym pack, what you'll be needing?
00:16:27It costs $500.
00:16:29$500?
00:16:32Say, Snuffy, you can't lay your hands on that amount, can you?
00:16:39No, no, of course not.
00:16:42Listen, why don't you put Sparky up for sale?
00:16:45I did.
00:16:46Spark plug isn't appreciated.
00:16:49If and I could sweep together that much folding money, I would,
00:16:54for the sake of the new United States and Kennedy.
00:16:57Thanks, Snuffy.
00:16:59Appreciate that.
00:17:05Where do we put these cots?
00:17:06I'll check with the Sarge.
00:17:12I'm so sorry.
00:17:14Oh, I've never been hit so hard by a girl before.
00:17:18Now, I'm Corporal Jim Bruce, sort of up here in charge of the guard detail, you might say.
00:17:23I'm Julie James.
00:17:25Well, I heard that Professor James had a beautiful daughter,
00:17:28but I never expected to find a Miss America, a movie star, and Julie James all in one dazzling picture.
00:17:35One nice thing about soldiers, they never exaggerate.
00:17:41You know, it's a funny thing, the way fate orders us around.
00:17:45Now, you take this order to bring these men up here.
00:17:48Well, I didn't think it was fate.
00:17:51I thought it was the captain.
00:17:57The T-40 passed that jeep.
00:17:59Wow.
00:18:00I bet he could beat anything on the road.
00:18:01What are they saying?
00:18:02Is that a racing mule?
00:18:04When I hear him vomit, I like a streak of lightning.
00:18:07When I passed the sergeant so fast, I could have hung my coat on his eyeball.
00:18:12All right, break it up, boys.
00:18:14Fowl, you guard the barn door.
00:18:16Dixon, you take the front of the lodge.
00:18:18Yeah, I wonder where they picked up this worthless nag.
00:18:20He ain't worthless.
00:18:21He'll bring five bucks to some glue factory.
00:18:23Well, in that case, the glue factory would be stuck.
00:18:26Gentlemen, that happens to be my thoroughbred spark plug.
00:18:29The fastest thing on four feet.
00:18:31Aren't you, old boy?
00:18:32You still think he's fast, eh, Barney?
00:18:34I know it.
00:18:35Important business interests have kept me from racing him at the moment.
00:18:39But spark plug is just spoiling for a race.
00:18:43Mr. Google, I wonder if you'd consider a two-mile race with P-40.
00:18:48That's our mule.
00:18:49I presume you mean for a purse?
00:18:52Well, I haven't got a purse, but I wouldn't mind making a little wager on my entry.
00:18:56Me too.
00:18:57I'll bet.
00:18:58I bet you'd have less than $500.
00:18:59Balls of fire.
00:19:01Google, have you lost it?
00:19:02What brains did you have?
00:19:04Well, uh, what sum did you have in mind, Sergeant?
00:19:08Well, I'd, uh, I'd bet $10.
00:19:10Well, perhaps your friends would like to pool their bets.
00:19:12I got a buck fifty.
00:19:13Thirty-one cents, but Jed owes me a dime.
00:19:15Oh, we might get fifty bucks together.
00:19:17Well, look, spark plug isn't mercenary.
00:19:21But unless I can get a respectable bet, gentlemen, the race is off.
00:19:24Ah, when we get the guy on.
00:19:27Oh.
00:19:30Unfortunately, I will not be here on visitor's day,
00:19:33as I'm being sent by the general on special guard duty
00:19:37to Saddleback Lodge in the Big Smokies.
00:19:40Snuffy.
00:19:43Sounds like we're getting a fish.
00:19:45After all the angling we've done at the army camp.
00:19:49Yes, a very big fish.
00:19:52Saddleback Lodge.
00:19:53What's up there?
00:19:55Nothing but country, and lots of it.
00:19:57Well, I've known for some time
00:20:00about Professor Waldo James and his radio-controlled device,
00:20:05and also that he was hiding out in the Smokies.
00:20:08But where?
00:20:11Here it is.
00:20:14This Snuffy Smith looks as strong as an ox,
00:20:17and just about as bright.
00:20:20Yes, yes, stupid, but important.
00:20:23Exactly the man we want.
00:20:26And so, Marlene...
00:20:27I know, I'm going to be a little murloc again.
00:20:30Exactly.
00:20:31Now you, you're to get the plans of that invention.
00:20:36And you are to destroy the completed invention.
00:20:43Here you are, Marlene.
00:20:44Stop that soldier boy Snuffy Smith.
00:20:46You're going to Saddleback Lodge, and so am I.
00:20:53Saddleback Lodge.
00:21:09Take the car around to the garage if there's such a place.
00:21:12We'll have to park under a tree over there.
00:21:15The barn's for other things.
00:21:19Just as you say, misters.
00:21:38Oh, I'll take that, ma'am.
00:21:40Oh, how big, how strong.
00:21:42Oh, that's nothing. Where to?
00:21:45We'll go to my suite.
00:21:47Come, soldier boy.
00:21:54Oh, I'm sorry.
00:21:57So, this is the bridal chamber.
00:22:00Oh, it's charming, charming.
00:22:05So lovely.
00:22:07Well, Dr. Soldier Man, so you don't know me.
00:22:10But I did know you at once.
00:22:11You know me?
00:22:12From your photograph, foolish boy.
00:22:15Why, it is me.
00:22:17Now, of course you know. I'm Elisa Murdoch.
00:22:22Well, how do you do?
00:22:23What?
00:22:24All those presents.
00:22:25Presents?
00:22:26Cigars, candies, all my letters to you.
00:22:29And your sweet answers.
00:22:31My...
00:22:35Elisa Murdoch and her adopted soldier man, Snuffy Smith.
00:22:41What an adorable name, Snuffy.
00:22:45Promoted to a sergeant, too.
00:22:48You didn't tell him, foolish boy.
00:22:51Sergeant Gatling.
00:22:53Sergeant Gatling.
00:22:55Hey, has anybody seen the sergeant?
00:23:03Hey, Snuffy.
00:23:04Have you seen the serge?
00:23:06Nope.
00:23:08Maybe the waffler skunk snuck off into the hills with other waffler skunks.
00:23:12Yeah, maybe.
00:23:17So you're not Snuffy Smith?
00:23:20Oh, I guess Snuffy sent you my picture.
00:23:22I'm Sergeant Gatling.
00:23:24That's Snuffy out there.
00:23:29I'll send him up to you.
00:23:31Don't go, sergeant.
00:23:33I'm glad Snuffy sent your picture.
00:23:35And now I'm going to adopt you.
00:23:38You mean you're going to adopt me instead of Snuffy Smith?
00:23:40Yes.
00:23:41But let's keep it a secret.
00:23:42Oh, yes, but I gotta...
00:23:44The boys are calling me. I gotta get out there now.
00:23:46Well, goodbye, big Congo man.
00:23:49I'll see you soon.
00:23:50Oh, sure.
00:23:53Did you hurt yourself?
00:23:59Beautiful vacation spot, isn't it?
00:24:01Yes, indeed.
00:24:02Great place for fun.
00:24:03Sporting events.
00:24:05Sporting events?
00:24:07I speak as a horse owner.
00:24:09My interest is in racing.
00:24:11Oh, you're Barney Google, aren't you?
00:24:13That's right.
00:24:14Miss Bowler, this is Mr. Hurdle.
00:24:16I do.
00:24:18We had a two-mile horse race scheduled for tomorrow.
00:24:21You see, the soldiers have a fleet-racing mule,
00:24:23a marvel of endurance.
00:24:24And your entrance?
00:24:26Spark plug, of course.
00:24:28Is he dead?
00:24:33No, you see, he's just unhappy.
00:24:35The soldiers couldn't match my bet,
00:24:37even though it only cost $500.
00:24:40That's too bad.
00:24:42The boys must be disappointed.
00:24:46Suppose I match your bet, Mr. Google?
00:24:48I accept, sir.
00:24:51Of course, we can post these bets with some responsible person.
00:24:55Why be so commercial?
00:24:56Let's make it a gentleman's bet.
00:24:58Just that it's customary.
00:24:59The cash or its equivalent?
00:25:01Spark plug will be my pledge.
00:25:05I'd prefer something more commercial.
00:25:09Would you have an interest in some tangible property?
00:25:14Google, you underweight idiot,
00:25:16don't put up what you're thinking of.
00:25:19Oh, you can find $500 to finish it
00:25:22somewhere in the United States or Canada.
00:25:25Gentlemen, you come to my room.
00:25:28I will pledge my half interest in a very valuable mechanism.
00:25:31Come on.
00:25:34Google, you stupid idiot.
00:25:38You poor brain.
00:25:41What will become of us?
00:25:47I always carry sleeping powder.
00:25:49Not only for myself, but sometimes for others.
00:25:52It's the first time I've ever slipped them to a whore.
00:25:55Poor old Sparky doesn't have a chance anyway.
00:25:57I like to make sure.
00:25:58Especially when it means holding on to the money.
00:26:01Especially when it means holding up that rocket.
00:26:03Our rocket.
00:26:04Wait till the chief hears about this.
00:26:06And that the sergeant in charge of the guard held the stakes.
00:26:09My sergeant.
00:26:11Just the same, Gatling was an inspiration.
00:26:13He has a strong sense of duty.
00:26:15No matter what pressure they put on him,
00:26:17when the mule wins, we'll get our money back
00:26:19and the agreement that makes us half owners
00:26:21of the great radio rocket.
00:26:22And then how we'll move in.
00:26:24Here you are, beautiful,
00:26:25a lovely carrot for good old Spark plug.
00:26:28Administered before the race.
00:26:30Just before.
00:26:31It works pretty fast.
00:26:32And don't let anybody see you pass the carrot.
00:26:35Oh, what a fat, frail woman of slipping,
00:26:38Sparky McIffin.
00:26:41Is he all set, Dinky?
00:26:42I can hardly wait to collect my winnings.
00:26:44Hey, how do you feel?
00:26:45Listen, I never worry about race day.
00:26:47I used to ride three or four horses a day.
00:26:49Every day.
00:26:50Did you ever ride a winner?
00:26:52Did I ever ride a winner?
00:26:54Well, here we are, boys.
00:26:56Don't let me down, Sparky, old baby.
00:27:00I wonder who's going to be put on guard duty.
00:27:02It won't be me.
00:27:03I don't want to miss this race.
00:27:04Don't worry, boys.
00:27:05I'll be on guard duty while the race is on.
00:27:07Ain't you going to see it?
00:27:08No, I'm going to guard the barn.
00:27:10Gee, we'll think of all the money you got down.
00:27:12That's just the trouble.
00:27:13If one of you men are on guard duty,
00:27:14you'll be thinking about your money in P40
00:27:16in case anybody tries to pull anything.
00:27:18But not me.
00:27:19I'm in charge of guard detail here
00:27:21and I'll be here win, lose, or draw.
00:27:23All right, beautiful.
00:27:24Do your stuff.
00:27:25We're going to leave it all to you.
00:27:28Both horses must be at the post in five minutes.
00:27:31All right, hop to it, boys.
00:27:33Come on, P40.
00:27:34Give him a good ride, kid.
00:27:35P40 can't lose.
00:27:37That our baby.
00:27:43Oh, Snuffy.
00:27:46Do you want to see Sparky win?
00:27:48I sure do.
00:27:49Well, there's nothing better for a horse than carrots.
00:27:52So full of vitamins.
00:27:54They'll make them run.
00:27:56You try it with Sparky.
00:27:57Here, give it to him.
00:27:59I see the horse make a hog of himself
00:28:02over carrots a heap of times.
00:28:05You sure?
00:28:06Give it to Sparky.
00:28:07If it's the last and final thing I do.
00:28:10Well, Sparky looks pretty good to me.
00:28:13He looks...
00:28:16Just take another look, will you?
00:28:17Oh, you mean you want me to put the horse to spray
00:28:19and bring out the little race when he brings the...
00:28:21Don't start that again.
00:28:22I was just kidding.
00:28:24Here, Sparky.
00:28:26Wait a minute, what's that?
00:28:28That's a carrot I got for Sparky.
00:28:30It's got vitamins.
00:28:33Haven't you heard about priorities?
00:28:38Okay, Sparky, let's go.
00:28:40I'll take over.
00:28:41You go watch the race.
00:28:45Come on, boys.
00:28:56What's it all about?
00:28:58Dad, the race.
00:28:59It means so much to us.
00:29:01Oh, yes, the race, the race.
00:29:08Well, they're all here except your sergeant.
00:29:11Now, if you could just entice him out here.
00:29:15I'm so lonely.
00:29:16There's nobody out in front for the crowd.
00:29:18Come on.
00:29:19Oh, no, no, I gotta stay here.
00:29:21But nothing ever happens away from here.
00:29:23Oh, yes, guard duty happens.
00:29:25You're a very stubborn boy.
00:29:27And I've done so much for you.
00:29:30I heard you bet so much money on the mules.
00:29:32Oh, yes.
00:29:33Oh, yes.
00:29:34Oh, yes.
00:29:35Oh, yes.
00:29:36Oh, yes.
00:29:37Oh, yes.
00:29:38Oh, yes.
00:29:39Oh, yes.
00:29:40Oh, yes.
00:29:41Oh, yes.
00:29:42Oh, yes.
00:29:43And you?
00:29:44I get a kick out of that.
00:29:46Pinocchio, but I did it for you.
00:29:49I gave Sparky a carrot.
00:29:52Well, carrots are good for him.
00:29:53He's got a lot of vitamins.
00:29:55But this carrot contained sleeping powder.
00:30:03Sleeping powder?
00:30:05It was so Sparky will lose and you will win.
00:30:09Isn't it funny?
00:30:11Yes, very funny.
00:30:15You better go now.
00:30:16Aren't you pleased with me?
00:30:17Oh, yes, very pleased.
00:30:18I'll see you later.
00:30:19Goodbye.
00:30:20See you tonight.
00:30:21Yes.
00:30:23Oh, keep it.
00:30:27Oh!
00:30:40You know he liked it.
00:30:41So the sergeant needed it.
00:30:43We are in favor of Spark plug.
00:30:45Of course.
00:30:46Sparky just can't lose.
00:30:52Ah!
00:31:04I like the music.
00:31:07Same.
00:31:15Okay, this will be a two-mile race.
00:31:17Along the road to the main highway,
00:31:19along it,
00:31:20and back to the road leading up to the lodge.
00:31:23Two-mile race?
00:31:24Why, I could finish the rocket in that time.
00:31:26Yes, but Dad, we've got to win the race to be able to finish the rocket.
00:31:32Okay, Dinky, are you all ready?
00:31:33Okay, Dink, get him off.
00:31:35Everybody ready?
00:31:37Go!
00:31:49Go, Sparky!
00:31:54Go, Sparky!
00:31:57That thing yawned twice before I said goodbye.
00:32:00If we could get the plants and destroy the rocket.
00:32:12You stay here and shout.
00:32:20Come on, boss.
00:32:21We've got to be a help for my cousins, boss.
00:32:23Come on.
00:32:24Come on, Dink.
00:32:25Come on.
00:32:34But, sergeant, you're holding the stakes,
00:32:36and you know within a few minutes I'll win a half interest in the rocket.
00:32:40You better be proud of yourself.
00:32:42You're sure to win.
00:32:43Sure.
00:32:44Well, we'll see about that.
00:32:47After the race.
00:32:57Well...
00:33:11But look here, sergeant.
00:33:12You might as well let us in there,
00:33:14because you know as well as we do the mule's going to win.
00:33:42Halt!
00:33:44Halt!
00:34:12Halt!
00:34:42Beat him!
00:35:00Halt!
00:35:03Halt!
00:35:12Halt!
00:35:42Halt!
00:35:44Halt!
00:36:05Halt!
00:36:06Halt!
00:36:12Halt!
00:36:29Well, the best horse won.
00:36:32Oh, Dad, we won.
00:36:34We won.
00:36:37I still like the mule.
00:36:39Oh, Dad.
00:36:40What happened to P-40?
00:36:41P-40?
00:36:42Why, that mule...
00:36:43P-40, we won.
00:36:44Ask the sergeant.
00:36:50Maybe P-40 was over-trained.
00:36:52To think that old bag of bones could beat him.
00:36:54Gee, why don't we tell the sergeant?
00:36:56Hey, what's the matter, serge?
00:36:58We got bad news for you.
00:37:00Sparkplug won.
00:37:05Well, Sarge, Sparky won, and did I give him a superb ride.
00:37:12Good night, all.
00:37:18With our new stabilizer here, and when it's installed,
00:37:21our radio rocket will fulfill every claim we've ever made.
00:37:24Remember that.
00:37:25It's the only flying cartridge in the United States and Kennedy.
00:37:29Professor, how's it coming?
00:37:31Coming along very nicely.
00:37:33It'll be ready, all right, by the time the ordnance experts arrive,
00:37:36if my partner will please, uh, what do you call it?
00:37:39A scram.
00:37:41Look here, Professor.
00:37:43This is a wonderful contribution to our war effort.
00:37:45It finished with production speed.
00:37:47And no bottleneck.
00:37:51Where's my jug?
00:37:55Ah, there you are.
00:38:10Hello.
00:38:12It worked!
00:38:13What worked?
00:38:14Well, I just dropped a penny in the wallet.
00:38:16Made a wish that...
00:38:18What did you wish?
00:38:20Oh, nothing.
00:38:22Was it about me?
00:38:26No, I'd better not tell you.
00:38:28It might not come true.
00:38:30Oh, it's all right.
00:38:32It's all right.
00:38:34It's all right.
00:38:36It's all right.
00:38:39Oh, uh, Professor,
00:38:42if there's anything I can do for you,
00:38:45well, just speak up.
00:38:48Will you get me a drink?
00:38:49A drink?
00:38:50I'll be...
00:39:04Here you be, Professor.
00:39:06Oh, thank you.
00:39:07That's very kind of you.
00:39:17This isn't water.
00:39:18Uh, no, sir.
00:39:19That's the only thing we got.
00:39:21Oh, I see.
00:39:22So, uh, did they make this with the apparatus that I see around here?
00:39:26Yes, sir.
00:39:27There ain't no other.
00:39:31There should be.
00:39:33There should be.
00:39:35The apparatus is old-fashioned, inefficient, and unscientific.
00:39:42Yeah.
00:39:44As a man of science,
00:39:46I think I'll design a...
00:39:49a new, uh, apparatus
00:39:52which will produce a purer, more healthful, and, uh...
00:39:59a pleasanter liquid.
00:40:01One that will accelerate the oxidation of trophoplasm
00:40:05and thus impede the demolition of the protozoa.
00:40:08Well, boss, Mark, khaki breeches.
00:40:11That's the first time book lining ever appealed to me.
00:40:19You should have made sure Sparkplug got the carrot.
00:40:22I'll forget about Sparkplug.
00:40:24But try was good, even if it didn't work.
00:40:27Well, anyway, we're still safe.
00:40:29We haven't done anything that can't be explained away.
00:40:32We haven't done anything which can be explained away to the chief.
00:40:35Well, what do you suggest?
00:40:37I suggest let's get busy.
00:40:39I'm going, too.
00:40:43Come on, let's go.
00:40:49Oh, yes, but all the soldiers left their money on P-40.
00:40:52I didn't know how important it was to your father.
00:40:55None of the others did, either.
00:40:57The sword.
00:40:58We only told it to our friend.
00:41:00Ouch.
00:41:01That wasn't what I meant.
00:41:05Oh.
00:41:06Oh, well, look, Julie.
00:41:07That girl has an eye for every man.
00:41:09Yes, but you didn't have the gadget.
00:41:12Oh, now, wait a minute, honey.
00:41:14Be reasonable.
00:41:15I don't even remember speaking to her.
00:41:17Oh, there you are, Corporal.
00:41:18I've been looking all over for you.
00:41:20Well, Corporal, you seem to have a very short memory.
00:41:25Have you seen Sergeant Gatling?
00:41:27No, I haven't.
00:41:28Julie.
00:41:41I've written the directions on the last sheet.
00:41:44What's that, Professor?
00:41:46That's nothing that concerns you, Sergeant.
00:41:49It's a steel, Sergeant.
00:41:50A new and improved type.
00:41:52Far more efficient than those I've seen here.
00:41:54So it is a steel.
00:41:56Thank you to keep your hands off of it.
00:41:58This will not only improve the output, it'll double it.
00:42:01It'll double the output?
00:42:02Take your hands off of that.
00:42:05Professor, I've gone all through the Smokies for years and broken up steels.
00:42:10And here you are, teaching them to build a bigger and better one.
00:42:13That's my soul.
00:42:14So I am.
00:42:15Now, what started you on this idea, anyhow?
00:42:17Really, I don't know.
00:42:19I became interested as a scientist and...
00:42:23Oh, bless my soul.
00:42:25Pardon me, I've got to get back to work on the rockets.
00:42:28There you go, Sergeant.
00:42:30Sticking your snout in the wrong sty again.
00:42:33With your permission, Professor, I'll take charge of these plans.
00:42:37Take them, burn them up, tear them up.
00:42:39I don't know why I've wasted so much time.
00:42:41You're a rascal!
00:42:50At last you come.
00:42:54Yeah, but I don't feel so frisky.
00:42:56Poor boy.
00:42:57From the sleeping powders you took?
00:42:59From the sleeping powders you gave me.
00:43:01I gave them to the horse.
00:43:03Well, they were too strong for a horse.
00:43:05They nearly put me to sleep.
00:43:09I was knitting that for you.
00:43:11Oh, a pair of mittens, huh?
00:43:14Oh, no.
00:43:15A sweater.
00:43:16Oh, no.
00:43:17A sweater.
00:43:18It will stretch.
00:43:19It will stretch.
00:43:21Take a lot of imagination.
00:43:30I'm sorry I was late.
00:43:32Professor detained me.
00:43:33Oh, the good Professor James?
00:43:36Yes, he had some plans for me.
00:43:38Oh, plans?
00:43:40Plans, yeah.
00:43:41Plans of an invention.
00:43:43It's so important that they kept you away from Little Lisa.
00:43:46Well, they're pretty important, all right.
00:43:48Some people give a lot of money for them.
00:43:51I took them just to keep them out of bad hands.
00:43:54And I got them right here.
00:43:58Won't you help me?
00:43:59Give me your hand.
00:44:00Your hand?
00:44:01Yeah.
00:44:02No, both of them.
00:44:03Closer.
00:44:07Now, join together by the yarn.
00:44:09Ready up.
00:44:10Higher.
00:44:12Still higher.
00:44:14Still higher.
00:44:17Oh, no.
00:44:18Oh, wait.
00:44:19Gently.
00:44:21Oh, no.
00:44:22I'd like to get another game.
00:44:33Now, why did I hide that jug?
00:44:43Sometimes you're so disappointing.
00:44:46So big, so handsome, and yet so ticklish.
00:44:50Sometimes I think you haven't awakened yet.
00:44:52Oh, I'm awake, all right.
00:44:54I mean to love, to romance.
00:44:56You never say things to me a woman likes to hear.
00:44:59Oh, what things do a woman like to hear?
00:45:02I'll teach you.
00:45:03What is your first name?
00:45:06Homer.
00:45:08Homer, I'll make you a Romeo.
00:45:12Oh, no.
00:45:13No, not that.
00:45:14Isn't Homer bad enough?
00:45:19I think you don't care for me.
00:45:21I didn't at first, but I do now.
00:45:23How cold your words are.
00:45:25Why don't you say adorable?
00:45:28So you don't really care.
00:45:29I do, adorable one.
00:45:32How sweet that was.
00:45:33You're learning fast.
00:45:34Tell me more like this.
00:45:36Light of my life.
00:45:37Song of my heart.
00:45:39That precious little chippy monk.
00:45:44Light of my life.
00:45:46Song of my heart.
00:45:47My precious little chippy monk.
00:45:49Light of my life.
00:45:50Song of my heart.
00:45:51My precious little...
00:45:56Go on.
00:45:57Go on.
00:45:58Tell me more.
00:45:59Go on.
00:46:00Go on.
00:46:01Go on.
00:46:02Get it.
00:46:03That's wrong.
00:46:04Let me repeat.
00:46:05They...
00:46:12Pretend you were a big bad boy and I'm angry with you.
00:46:16You beg my forgiveness and then leave.
00:46:18Won't you do that to me?
00:46:19No.
00:46:21Tell me.
00:46:22If I don't forgive you, you'll shoot yourself.
00:46:24You'll cut your throat.
00:46:26You'll jump off a bridge.
00:46:30It tickles.
00:46:32It is so little to ask if you really care.
00:46:38If you don't forgive me, I'll shoot myself.
00:46:41I'll cut my throat.
00:46:42I'll jump off a bridge.
00:46:44It's so little to ask if you really care.
00:46:46I'll forget to do it.
00:46:51Go on.
00:46:52Get it.
00:47:02Of course your little honeysuckle blossom forgives her big soldier lover.
00:47:05Now say.
00:47:06Nestle in my arms.
00:47:08Heart of my heart.
00:47:09My only one.
00:47:12Nestle in my arms.
00:47:13Oh, I can't.
00:47:14No, I can't.
00:47:15Oh, you're angry with me.
00:47:16Oh, you frighten me.
00:47:17No.
00:47:18Give me a sign that you're not angry with me.
00:47:20Give me a kiss.
00:47:21Big kiss.
00:47:24Oh, no.
00:47:25I can't do that.
00:47:28I can't do that.
00:47:30The fear of losing you has enerved me.
00:47:32I faint.
00:47:33Wait a minute.
00:47:34Wait a minute.
00:47:35Give me my spelling sword.
00:47:37Hold it.
00:47:57Oh.
00:47:58Oh, my little honey bunch, are you all right?
00:48:01Oh, can't I be your little cheeky monk?
00:48:04Can't I be your little cheeky monk?
00:48:07Oh.
00:48:11You bogacious idiot.
00:48:14You shitless skunk.
00:48:16Get over there.
00:48:18You feeling pretty, you.
00:48:22You bogacious idiot.
00:48:23You.
00:48:24Get off me.
00:48:25You.
00:48:26I mean.
00:48:28Turn me loose.
00:48:30You.
00:48:31You underrated idiot.
00:48:33Sergeant.
00:48:34Sergeant.
00:48:42Luigi.
00:48:44Now, you've had plenty of time to carry this job out.
00:48:47And what have you done?
00:48:48Nothing.
00:48:49Now, see here, man.
00:48:50I want this job carried through.
00:48:52Oh, hello.
00:48:54I've got a plan.
00:48:55Courtesy of Sergeant Gatling.
00:48:57Hello, Marlene.
00:48:58That's very nice.
00:48:59Very nice.
00:49:07You idiot.
00:49:08You rattled-brained woman, do you know what you've done?
00:49:11You've brought me the plan for whiskey still.
00:49:15By the time that I took charge, you three not only miserably failed at carrying out my command,
00:49:21you've actually furnished the Americans with money to complete the rocket which you were set to destroy.
00:49:28Within a few hours, the Washington experts will be here.
00:49:32To witness the death flight of the rocket.
00:49:34If all that, it must be destroyed.
00:49:37That's great.
00:49:38But how are we going to get into the barn?
00:49:39We've been trying for a week.
00:49:40You leave that to me.
00:49:42You get us in that barn, and I guarantee to blow that rocket so high.
00:49:46Now listen, stupid.
00:49:47The important thing is we get the plants first.
00:49:50Then we'll take care of the rocket.
00:49:53Come on, Snuffy.
00:49:54You know I'm nervous, and I'll need some rehearsing.
00:49:56Go ahead.
00:49:57Pretend you're the general.
00:49:58Oh, sit.
00:49:59Let me talk.
00:50:00Why should you be nervous?
00:50:01I'm not used to receiving medals.
00:50:03Oh, you ain't got no medal yet, so far as I can see.
00:50:06Well, I will when the rocket's a success.
00:50:08Go on.
00:50:09Pin it on me.
00:50:10Oh.
00:50:11Feels like a dimension, is it?
00:50:13Well, keep on with the rest of it.
00:50:15You're supposed to be a foreign general.
00:50:17And you know what the customary procedure is.
00:50:20No.
00:50:21I don't know the...
00:50:22The customary procedure?
00:50:23Yeah, what you said.
00:50:24Well, the foreign general is supposed to kiss the man on both cheeks.
00:50:28Oh.
00:50:29You mean I gotta peck you on your jaw?
00:50:32Certainly.
00:50:33And hurry up.
00:50:34There's gonna be a reception at the White House soon getting underway.
00:50:36Hurry up.
00:50:37Oh.
00:50:38I beg your pardon.
00:50:40Am I intruding?
00:50:41Yes.
00:50:42Break it up!
00:50:43Come here.
00:50:44Come here.
00:50:45There's gonna be a demonstration of that rocket any time now.
00:50:47And I want every man here to guard it.
00:50:49Get inside.
00:50:51Get inside.
00:50:58Chitless skunk.
00:51:00I don't think she's injured.
00:51:29Come on.
00:51:30Get on your toes.
00:51:33Where's your payment?
00:51:34It air on my gun.
00:51:36Right there.
00:51:39Well, it's a scandal to the Jaybirds.
00:51:43Oh, will you never grow up?
00:51:45Are you gonna keep on playing mumbly pig all your life?
00:51:58Oh.
00:52:28Oh.
00:52:47There's something mysterious going on around here.
00:52:50Here.
00:52:51Get in here.
00:52:52If anybody comes, we get them red-handed.
00:52:53Come on.
00:52:54Hurry up.
00:52:58Come on.
00:53:08Everything all right, Sarge?
00:53:09Yeah, everything's all right.
00:53:19You're chitless, skunk.
00:53:21Why do you lock me in here for?
00:53:23You should be ashamed.
00:53:25I can get out of here.
00:53:26Let that boy in.
00:53:28What?
00:53:29I'm in the back.
00:53:32Cameron.
00:53:33Never let me out of here.
00:53:34I'm suffocating.
00:53:45I hope everything's all right with the rocket, Sarge.
00:53:47I said everything was all right.
00:53:51Everything's all right with the rocket.
00:53:53Why shouldn't it be?
00:53:54If he's in there gardening, I'm out here gardening.
00:53:58What could happen?
00:54:00Get away from me.
00:54:16It works.
00:54:21Oh, my legs work.
00:54:25Now it's just boring.
00:54:29Sergeant, stop kicking it.
00:54:31Captain.
00:54:34You will do well.
00:54:35This is my brain size.
00:54:36I know what you will do well.
00:54:37Give us your plans.
00:54:38Come on.
00:54:39Stay away from us.
00:54:44No easy.
00:54:54No easy.
00:55:24No easy.
00:55:54Coming back.
00:55:55Break formation.
00:56:24Get away.
00:56:25I can't get away.
00:56:31Take that.
00:56:36My brainchild is eating rats.
00:56:50I will have you in court.
00:56:54Stop this at once, or I'll call the police!
00:57:06Come on, what do you want to do with this?
00:57:14You're ruining everything!
00:57:15Yes, I know.
00:57:16Well, give me the bag.
00:57:17The rocket's destroyed anyway.
00:57:18No, it's not!
00:57:23No, it's not!
00:57:26I won't stop until you do or not!
00:57:32Look here, who are you?
00:57:39The demonstration must be on the way, and it looks very good, don't it?
00:59:04Keep him here, he'll further orders.
00:59:24Keep him here, he'll further orders.
00:59:51Where goes that woman?
00:59:54Professor James?
00:59:55Yes, I'm Colonel Ash.
00:59:56Yes, this is General Winfield.
00:59:57Glad to know you, sir.
00:59:58These are the gentlemen from the Ordnance Department.
01:00:00How do you do?
01:00:01Gentlemen, I'm sorry that things haven't gone according to schedule.
01:00:04Oh, make no excuses.
01:00:05We thought it excellent.
01:00:06Indeed, yes, Colonel.
01:00:07I shall be happy to recommend her to the War Department.
01:00:10You will?
01:00:11Indeed, we will.
01:00:12Will?
01:00:13See, that's the trouble with you spies.
01:00:15All you think is get away with the order of a piece of salary and a braided case.
01:00:18The country today is in order for a piece of people to feed on horse dung.
01:00:21And that's the cause of a braided case.
01:00:22And in order for him to practically carry a hippocampus, he'll have to starve to death.
01:00:25And that's the lead to slaughter of a cabbage.
01:00:27Hey, wait a minute.
01:00:28We thought the crime had increased on the last Wednesday.
01:00:31So the crime of a braided case, we came back here today.
01:00:36Oh, a funny man, huh?
01:00:39It's all your fault.
01:00:40It's not.
01:00:41You got me in there.
01:00:42You got me up in here.
01:00:43You pushed a button.
01:00:44You're the one that pushed the button.
01:00:47Oh, my little chippy monk.
01:00:49Oh, go take a jump.
01:00:56Go take two jumps.
01:00:58Wait a minute, stop it.
01:01:01Don't leave me now.
01:01:03I never needed you so bad in my life.
01:01:06That's the way I am.
01:01:09Okay, let me get you out of here.
01:01:10Oh.
01:01:11Come on.
01:01:17Well, you do your share.
01:01:19You go to Washington.
01:01:20Do your bit.
01:01:22Well, there's your little old aeroplane.
01:01:25That was me.
01:01:27You shitless skunk.
01:01:28You put me in there.
01:01:30You started the whole thing.
01:01:32Put me inside.
01:01:35How about getting you and Snuffy on the rocket?
01:01:37Say, ain't I having enough trouble as it is?
01:01:39Oh, please, Sergeant Gatley.
01:01:48Get off of me.
01:01:50Come on now, look pleasant, Sarge, even if it hurts.
01:02:18Last full hover.
01:02:20Let's stop.
01:02:22Come here, you.
01:02:24Come on, boy.
01:02:26Come on, boy.