Life With Elizabeth:Lobster avoidance/Recycling overload/Sea sickness
Not Rated | 30min | Comedy | TV Episode
1) Elizabeth tries to stuff Alvin with salad and bread so he has no room for lobster. 2) Elizabeth inundates the milkman with empty bottles and gets in the way of Alvin's tin can recycling. 3) Elizabeth battles sea sickness on a boat trip.
Director: Duke Goldstone
Writers: Milt Kahn, George Tibbles
Stars: Betty White, Del Moore, Phil Arnold
Not Rated | 30min | Comedy | TV Episode
1) Elizabeth tries to stuff Alvin with salad and bread so he has no room for lobster. 2) Elizabeth inundates the milkman with empty bottles and gets in the way of Alvin's tin can recycling. 3) Elizabeth battles sea sickness on a boat trip.
Director: Duke Goldstone
Writers: Milt Kahn, George Tibbles
Stars: Betty White, Del Moore, Phil Arnold
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Betty White in Life With Elizabeth, featuring Del Moore.
00:21Incident number one in the life of Elizabeth occurred the night she and Alvin were to have
00:25lobster for dinner.
00:26Oh, it was to be quite an occasion because Elizabeth had never prepared lobster before.
00:34Elizabeth, how are you tonight?
00:38You look like you're in some kind of trouble.
00:40Have you cooked the lobster yet?
00:42But Alvin's been looking forward to a lobster dinner.
00:45What did you cook?
00:49Fish? Well, he'll be able to tell the difference, won't he?
00:53The idea is to fill him up so he'll never get to the lobster, huh?
00:58Well, I still don't see why you didn't...
01:00Oh, look out, here he comes.
01:01Ah, bring on the lobster.
01:03My, aren't we fancy tonight.
01:05Candles and everything.
01:07Oh, that's just in case Liberace should drop in.
01:11If he does, he gets hash because the lobster's for me.
01:15Let's get started.
01:17I'll get the salad.
01:20Hey, honey, you should have skipped the salad.
01:23Actually, all I really want...
01:32What in the world is this?
01:34They call it a haystack salad.
01:39Honey, I can't eat this.
01:41Well, you have to, honey.
01:42The cookbook said that lobster should be preceded by a generous portion of salad.
01:47Oh, I forgot the brand.
01:50I'll just eat a little bit off of the top of the mountain.
01:53Okay.
01:56Some brandy off it?
02:00Okay, what's the trick, Elizabeth?
02:02No trick.
02:04The book said that lobster should be served in a continental atmosphere.
02:08Continental atmosphere.
02:09What's that supposed to represent?
02:11The leaning tower of Pisa.
02:15Elizabeth, this is Alden.
02:16I know you.
02:18The minute you start behaving like a three-year-old,
02:21you've been up to one of your little crimes.
02:23Now, what have you done?
02:25I forgot to put my blocks away.
02:30Elizabeth, look at me.
02:33Did you buy the lobster?
02:35Yes.
02:35Did you bring it home?
02:37Yes.
02:39That's a relief.
02:40I thought for a minute we weren't going to have any lobster.
02:43Eat, Alvin.
02:45Well, honey, look, I can't possibly eat all of that.
02:50Well, if I let you not eat your salad, will you eat all your soup?
02:53Okay, I promise.
03:01Not too much soup now, honey.
03:02I don't want to spoil...
03:12It's a little late in the evening to go swimming, Elizabeth.
03:16You promised, Alvin.
03:17You have to eat it all.
03:20Okay, a promise is a promise.
03:21But I still think something's going on.
03:23I can't understand why.
03:26What are you doing?
03:30I lost my spoon.
03:43Now I want my lobster.
03:47Okay.
03:48I want lobster and nothing else, Elizabeth.
03:51Nothing else but lobster.
03:53No more leaning towers, just lobster.
04:04Where's the shell?
04:06Well, that's just the meat.
04:08Oh, well, let's get started.
04:10Is that someone looking in the window, Alvin?
04:12Where?
04:15Well, I don't even see the...
04:19Would you care to explain this, Elizabeth?
04:24A new type of corn?
04:28All right, what species of lobster is this, Elizabeth?
04:34Barracuda.
04:37You said that you bought a lobster.
04:39Where is it?
04:41In the bathtub.
04:42Where?
04:49I would like to hear the entire story, Elizabeth,
04:51if you don't mind.
04:53Well, in the first place,
04:54the stupid butcher sold me a live lobster.
04:57They often do that. Go on.
04:59And then the silly cookbook said to put it in the boiling water
05:03without even an anesthetic.
05:05You didn't expect to give a lobster an anesthetic, did you?
05:08I mean, for me.
05:10I'd have to be under an anesthetic to do such a thing.
05:12But don't yell at me.
05:14I'll tell you one thing, nobody's going to harm that lobster.
05:17Calm down. What did you do?
05:19I burned the cookbook.
05:21Well, I can't say that I blame you for that.
05:23I doubt if I could harm a lobster myself.
05:26Really, darling?
05:28Honey, I wish you could have seen the look in his little beady eyes
05:31when I put him in that bathtub.
05:33Real gratitude.
05:35I didn't even know they had eyes.
05:37Sure they have.
05:38They're on the end of a couple of sticks.
05:40No eyelashes, just eyes.
05:43Well, aren't you going to eat something?
05:44No, not right now.
05:45No, not right now. I'm kind of worried about him.
05:50Do you think you'll get enough exercise in that bathtub?
05:52No, but if I get in there, I would.
05:56Maybe we ought to buy him a leash and take him for a walk.
06:00Come on, honey, eat something, will you?
06:02Do you have any idea what a lobster goes through
06:05before he reaches maturity?
06:07No.
06:08By the way, if I know you, you've already given him a name.
06:11What is it?
06:12Thermidor.
06:16Mm-hmm.
06:19Here we are.
06:21Baby lobsters spend much of their time on top of the water,
06:24where many of them are eaten by voracious seagulls.
06:30That's a rough life, honey.
06:31Other enemies are the raiding cod,
06:34the shark,
06:36and the barracuda.
06:39The barracuda.
06:43I'm sorry, dear, I didn't know.
06:45Seven to ten hazardous years before they weigh two pounds.
06:50I'd say Thermidor was just reaching young manhood.
06:53You forget, honey, I haven't even met him or seen him even.
06:56That's right. I'll go get him.
07:05Most of the lobster's young life
07:08is spent in complete helplessness.
07:11Thermidor, this is Alvin.
07:14Look, honey, he's waving to you.
07:16Hi.
07:19Honey, listen to this.
07:20Fresh water, even after a few hours, is fatal to lobsters,
07:25even after a few hours.
07:27Fresh water, honey.
07:34I think he looks better already, don't you?
07:37I can't tell. I don't know which way he looks.
07:39I can't tell. I don't know which way he's facing.
07:42Well, that's all we can do.
07:45Alvin.
07:48I know you're going to think this is awfully silly.
07:51What is?
07:53After all, it's only a lobster.
07:55All right, come on. Let me have it. What is it?
07:59Let's take him down to the beach and let him go.
08:03I shall leave you at this point, Elizabeth.
08:05Why?
08:06I'll go get the car.
08:10You're going to fix him up.
08:12Elizabeth, aren't you a shame?
08:20Incident number two in the life of Elizabeth occurred early one bright spring morning.
08:25Elizabeth had reserved the day for outdoor sports.
08:28Cleaning up the yard, planting flowers, pulling weeds.
08:32In other words, all work and a yard wide.
08:40There.
08:41This time I'm getting the bottles out in time for the milkman.
08:44There must be about all of them.
08:46Yeah.
08:49What's all that?
08:50I'm starting my own milky way.
08:53No kidding. How'd you collect all the bottles?
08:56Well, every night when I wash them, I put them on the back porch
08:58so I'll be sure not to forget to put them off for the milkman.
09:01Oh, I see.
09:03Well, I'll be sure not to forget to put them off for the milkman.
09:05I'll be sure not to forget to put them off for the milkman.
09:07I'll be sure not to forget to put them off for the milkman.
09:10And then what happens?
09:11I can't get out the back door on account of all the milk bottles.
09:15That's very funny.
09:17What's all the paper sticking on the floor?
09:19Notes.
09:20You write notes to the milkman?
09:23I write notes to myself to remind me to put out the bottles.
09:30Please leave one dozen eggs.
09:32Elizabeth, are all of those notes ordering food?
09:35Of course.
09:36And you know I never did get those eggs, and I waited three solid weeks.
09:40Will you stop clowning around and take the notes out, Elizabeth?
09:43If we got all of those eggs at one time, we'd have to move.
09:45The neighborhood's restricted against poultry farms.
09:47I don't want to disappoint Al.
09:49Well, then...
09:51Who's Al?
09:53That's the milkman.
09:54His name's Al Buhlman.
09:58That was a joke, honey.
10:00I understand it.
10:01And when I incubate her, give up.
10:03There's a funny incubator.
10:06Honey, will you put the tin cans out in the alley for me, please?
10:09Mine are never funny.
10:10Now, come on.
10:11If you don't pick up then, if you don't get the cans out,
10:13you'll only have to wait another three weeks.
10:14All right, Elizabeth, but take those notes out of the bottles
10:16before the milkman gets here.
10:19No, I want him to see what he missed.
10:21What are you going to do?
10:23I'll just write another note and cancel the whole order.
10:26Oh, brother.
10:28Oh, honey, don't get...
10:30Don't get egg-sasperated with me.
10:33Egg-sas...
10:34Egg-sas...
10:36Kill me.
10:38Egg-sas...
10:43Egg-sas...
11:05Hi, Mr. Logan.
11:07I have a surprise for you.
11:09Yes, ma'am.
11:10Do you collect string, too?
11:12I keep forgetting to leave them out.
11:14Yes, ma'am.
11:15We've been wondering if you'd loan us a few bottles.
11:17We didn't have any place to put our milk.
11:19Elizabeth!
11:21Just a minute.
11:22You go ahead.
11:23I'll be right back.
11:24I'll be right back.
11:25I'll be right back.
11:26I'll be right back.
11:27I'll be right back.
11:28I'll be right back.
11:29I'll be right back.
11:30I'll be right back.
11:31I'll be right back.
11:32I'll be right back.
11:33Just a minute.
11:34You go ahead and take them all.
11:35You're sure this won't leave you short?
11:37Oh, no.
11:38I don't think just the same.
11:39What's the matter, Alvin?
11:40Look, if you're not too busy writing notes,
11:42I'd appreciate it if you'd guide me to the alley.
11:44Well, sure.
11:45Here, let me help.
11:46Wait.
11:47Now watch.
11:48You shouldn't try to carry them all at once.
11:49Don't worry, Elizabeth.
11:50I figured if I carry this many each time,
11:51I'll only have to make 14 trips.
11:53Well, if you remember what day pickup comes on,
11:55we wouldn't have all this trouble.
11:57If you'd know how to cook,
11:58we wouldn't have to use these many cans.
11:59Look, Alvin, ask him.
12:01I'm doing it now.
12:02Come with me, Elizabeth.
12:03Please leave one dozen eggs.
12:05Cotton and cottage cheese.
12:08A pound of butter.
12:10One more dozen eggs.
12:11Hey.
12:17One dozen eggs.
12:18Check.
12:20Cottage cheese.
12:21Check.
12:22Everything all right, Mr. Logan?
12:24Oh, yes, ma'am.
12:25This is quite an order.
12:26Are you going on a trip?
12:29Oh, no.
12:30No, no.
12:31No.
12:37Excuse me.
12:38I don't think my husband found the alley.
12:41Alvin, are you all right?
12:44I tripped over a stupid tin can.
12:47Well, that's the one I left there
12:48so you'd know where to turn.
12:49Very considerate, Elizabeth.
12:51I told you to turn left at the can of asparagus.
12:53Next time, tie my shoelaces together
12:55and we'll have real screams.
12:57Come on, in the house.
12:58Now, I'll fix you some lemonade
12:59and that'll soothe your nerves.
13:00You don't have to lead me now, Elizabeth.
13:02What did you do to him?
13:04Nothing.
13:06I don't think.
13:08Anything wrong, Mr. Logan?
13:10You canceled the whole order.
13:14Well, that's what I was trying to tell you
13:16when Alvin started kicking the corner around.
13:19She's funny like this all the time.
13:21I used up my entire order pad.
13:24Then you canceled the order.
13:26It was only a gag.
13:28I'm sorry.
13:29If I could have had that order,
13:31I would have won our monthly achievement award.
13:33Well, I intended to take the notes out of the bottle.
13:36Intended?
13:38They would have painted a gold star on my truck.
13:40Oh, that would have been nice for you.
13:42They would have stuck a red pin
13:44in the middle of my territory.
13:48Well, would it help any
13:50if I stuck a pin in your territory?
13:52They might even have given me
13:54the buttermilk cluster on a field of half and half.
13:55Well, there's nothing left to do but carry on.
14:00He's a brave man, Alyssa.
14:02Well, all I did was...
14:05What is it?
14:07The tin cans truck.
14:09If you'll help us get the tin cans out and me out,
14:11you can have your order.
14:13You've got a deal.
14:15Mr. Logan, this way.
14:17You, you...
14:19Wait a minute.
14:21Who?
14:22All right, right here.
14:24Okay.
14:26Don't trip on the can of asparagus.
14:28What?
14:29Don't trip on the can of asparagus, she said.
14:31Don't trip over what?
14:33The can.
14:39All right, don't lie there. Pick them up.
14:41I am picking them up.
14:43I tripped on a can of asparagus.
14:45The boxes are all torn.
14:47We'll never get them back.
14:49Who, Mr. Dick?
14:50Who, Mr. Dick?
14:52Wait a minute.
14:54Wait a minute.
15:01Incident number three in the life of Elizabeth occurred at sea.
15:05You see, there are several islands off the coast of California.
15:08Now, if we hurry, we might catch Elizabeth and Alvin
15:11aboard the S.S. Paradise, bound for one of them.
15:14Incidentally, you'll have a hard time convincing Elizabeth
15:16that S.S. stands for steamship, not seasick.
15:22Hey, honey, this looks like a good spot.
15:27Hey, honey, don't run around like that.
15:30You feel all right?
15:32I feel fine, and that's the way it's going to stay.
15:35You're really convinced you're going to get sick, aren't you?
15:38On the contrary, I don't intend to.
15:42What are you looking at?
15:43I'm concentrating on your shirt.
15:45I get it.
15:47You feel that if you concentrate on my...
15:49I thought you were concentrating on my shirt.
15:51Look, here.
15:53Alvin, that's the first shirt I've ever seen
15:55with a pork chop design.
15:57Pork chop design.
15:59Look, Elizabeth, it'll take three more hours
16:01before we get to the island.
16:03Now, why don't you stop concentrating
16:05and breathe some of the fresh air?
16:07You breathe.
16:09I'll concentrate.
16:11Oh, come on, honey.
16:13There's some deck chairs over there.
16:15Let's relax, come on.
16:17You relax, I'll concentrate.
16:19Now, look, no kidding.
16:21Let's sit down and concentrate
16:23on the fun we're going to have, okay?
16:25You concentrate, I'll concentrate.
16:31What's the matter?
16:33What were you concentrating on out there?
16:35It was a seagull.
16:37A seagull.
16:39Well, it double-crossed me, Alvin.
16:41It was sitting on the water
16:43What did you expect him to do?
16:45Get waterlogged because you were looking at it?
16:47Well, I don't intend to get seasick.
16:50I refuse to take an ocean voyage by rail.
16:56I am going for a walk, Elizabeth.
16:58Are you coming with me?
17:00Alvin, find me something to concentrate on, quick.
17:04Here, concentrate on the seasick pills.
17:07Bye.
17:09Alvin, come back here.
17:11Excuse me.
17:13Smile.
17:17I'm a tourist.
17:19I take pictures of everything.
17:21That removes some of the flattery.
17:24Yeah.
17:26Could you tell me which way is the ocean?
17:30Which way is the ocean?
17:32Yeah.
17:34I'm a stranger around here.
17:36Are you kidding me?
17:38No.
17:41If that's the ocean, I'm very disappointed.
17:44Why? What's wrong with it?
17:46It looks just like Lake Oogimahatkongchusit.
17:51Oogimahatkongchu-what?
17:54Oogimahatkongchusit.
17:56That's our lake back home.
17:58What does it mean?
18:00Wet.
18:03Well, this is the best ocean we have at the moment.
18:07This is the...
18:08Oh!
18:14It just fell in the Oogimahatkong Pacific.
18:17Pacific?
18:19I think I'll take a picture of it.
18:22You ought to come back in the rainy season if you want lakes.
18:26Oogimahatkongsapulvit is a beauty.
18:31You see, sapulvit is a street.
18:34And when it rains...
18:36That was a joke.
18:39Smile.
18:41Why?
18:45You're very lucky.
18:47Usually the ocean doesn't smile for everybody.
18:49Oh, no.
18:51I took a picture of a man on the lower deck.
18:54Oh.
18:56A man down there with the green face.
18:58Hi, Alvin!
19:01Which way is south?
19:06Right about over there.
19:08Oh, thanks.
19:10I've always wanted to take a picture of the South Pacific.
19:17Why don't we sit down?
19:19I've forgotten all about being seasick.
19:21Oh, thank you.
19:23Smile.
19:26Old Big Mile takes a pretty good picture, doesn't he?
19:32Did you say before that you were seasick?
19:36See what?
19:38Sink.
19:40I have an accent.
19:42Oh.
19:44Well, until you came along, I found that if I concentrated on certain objects...
19:47Well, see, you decided to take my advice and sit down.
19:50How do you do?
19:52Hello, my name is Bev.
19:54Hi, how are you?
19:56This is my husband Alvin, and I'm Elizabeth.
19:58Smile.
20:02She'll take a picture of anything.
20:04What were you doing on the lower deck just now, as if I didn't know?
20:08I wasn't on the lower deck.
20:10You were, so?
20:12Babs took a picture of you.
20:14He wasn't the one.
20:16Oh, I was getting all ready to gloat.
20:18Do you feel all right, honey?
20:20Never felt better.
20:22How about you?
20:24Fine.
20:26Tooth what?
20:28Tooth ank.
20:30That's toothache with an accent.
20:32You two talk to each other.
20:34I'm going to read.
20:36I'm a very arid reader.
20:38You mean Alvin?
20:40No, arid.
20:42It's a very dry book.
20:44Get out of here.
20:46No, with Babs around, I don't have to concentrate.
20:48You're not kidding.
20:50Where do you find these characters?
20:52Here's a very ink-stirring thing.
20:54Ink-stirring.
20:56Alvin, what's so ink-stirring?
20:58Interesting.
20:59A ship.
21:01There's a bulletin.
21:03She means as opposed to a boat.
21:05A lot of people call a ship this size a boat.
21:08Look, I know what she means.
21:11If you two would care to know a little about the sea,
21:13I'll be glad to oblige.
21:16Alvin knows all about the sea.
21:18He was in the army.
21:20You may fire when ready, girly.
21:23That's gridly.
21:25You may fire when ready, gridly.
21:27And what are you so hysterical about?
21:29Nothing, nothing.
21:31Go ahead and tell us all about ships, girly.
21:34Okay.
21:36The first thing, how do you tell port from starboard?
21:39By the labels on the bottles.
21:43Getting so you can't get a good bottle of starboard anymore.
21:47I shall continue in spite of the screamingly funny humor.
21:52The rear of the boat is called the stern.
21:55The stern.
21:57That's why it has the frown.
22:00The front of the boat is the bow.
22:02Up forward.
22:04And make something out of that.
22:07Where's the captain?
22:09The captain's forward.
22:11Who cares? This is a pleasure trip.
22:14Care for a sandwich, Alvin?
22:16Well, thanks. What kind is it?
22:18Tripe.
22:20Are you sure you can spare this one?
22:22Oh, sure.
22:24Maybe you'd rather have avocado and sardines.
22:26Oh, that sounds good now, believe me.
22:29I never could get used to tripe this early in the morning.
22:31Cold tripe.
22:33What is that one there on the top?
22:35I'm saving that for a lingerby.
22:37Bananas, bacon.
22:39What's the matter?
22:41I'm the concentrator.
22:43Wait a minute, honey.
22:45Come on, I'll walk you back and forth.
22:47Come on.
22:49I'm all right.
22:51Just find me something to concentrate on.
22:53Wait a minute, honey.
22:54There's a funny-looking ship right over here.
22:56Where?
22:58Right out there. See it?
23:00Oh.
23:02Got it.
23:04Are you seasick?
23:06No, as long as I have something to concentrate on, I'm all right.
23:08Good. Now let's walk to the other side.
23:10Come on.
23:12No, find me something to look at over there first.
23:14Babs, go on the other side and find Elizabeth something to concentrate on.
23:16Oh, okay.
23:18See, it's bouncing up and down.
23:20Up and down.
23:22I see something.
23:24It's a dead fish.
23:26Oh.
23:28I'm the concentrator.
23:30Come on back, Babs.
23:32Up and down.
23:34I know, Babs. She's taking a picture of the dead fish.
23:36Smile.
23:40Calvin.
23:42Calvin, that boat's sinking.
23:44Oh, my gosh. I don't believe it, honey.
23:46Hey, that boat's sinking.
23:48It's not sinking. It's sinking.
23:50I'll get the captain, honey. You wait right here.
23:52No, wait a minute.
23:55The boat's moving.
23:57Oh, good.
23:59The minute we get away from the dock, I feel wonderful.
24:02Not me.
24:04I get seasick.
24:06Me, too. Let's sit. Let's sit down.
24:08Come on.
24:10Oh, don't be silly. Now it's just...
24:12Sit down, Elizabeth.
24:14It's all in your mind.
24:16Don't move around.
24:18I brought some lemon drops.
24:20Just concentrate.
24:21See the rail, the way it's going up and down with the rocks?
24:23Elizabeth, please don't do that.
24:25Oh, no.
24:27Just hold the rail.
24:29Hey!
24:31Say goodbye to the people.
24:33Goodbye, everybody.
24:35Could you ask him to hold the rail?
24:37Now here to say goodbye to you
24:39is the lovely star of our show, Betty White.
24:42Thank you, Jeff.
24:44And thank you, everybody.
24:46Thank you so much.
24:48You know, the picture taking didn't end there.
24:49When they got to the island,
24:51Babs took a picture of Alvin
24:53taking a picture of Elizabeth
24:55taking a picture of a picturesque pitcher
24:57who pitched for the Yankees.
24:59The picture didn't come out,
25:01but Babs went out with the pitcher several times.
25:03Until we see you again,
25:05goodbye, everybody.
25:06© BF-WATCH TV 2021