54min | Comedy , Music | July 1951 (USA)
It's vaudeville on film as the camera passes a box office and ticket taker, proceeds to a front-row seat, and watches as master of ceremonies. Jackie Coogan comes out on stage to introduce singers, dancers, acrobats, jugglers, cyclists--even a skit spoofing the silent film The Kid which made Coogan a famous child star!
Director: Ron Ormond
Stars: Jackie Coogan, Eddie Garr, Tom Neal
It's vaudeville on film as the camera passes a box office and ticket taker, proceeds to a front-row seat, and watches as master of ceremonies. Jackie Coogan comes out on stage to introduce singers, dancers, acrobats, jugglers, cyclists--even a skit spoofing the silent film The Kid which made Coogan a famous child star!
Director: Ron Ormond
Stars: Jackie Coogan, Eddie Garr, Tom Neal
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Hey, mister, how about a dime for a cup of coffee?
00:14I just gave you a dime up the street.
00:16Oh, is that you?
00:21The millionaire with the flowers at the stage door after the show is also after the showgirl,
00:29but that's show business, you know.
00:31It may be a flop out in Philly, so you shuffle off to Buffalo.
00:36It's a hit if they ban it in Boston, but that's show business, you know.
00:41The thrill of a first night, the glow of the spotlight, the glitter that catches the eye.
00:47Things may go wrong, but the show must go on.
00:49Next day the critics ask why.
00:51Those one-night stands are terrific.
00:53Oh, there's no place like Kokomo.
00:56You may have to dress in the alley, but that's show business, you know.
01:01The thrill of a first night, the glow of the spotlight, the glitter that catches the eye.
01:07Things may go wrong, but the show must go on.
01:09Did anyone ever say why?
01:11The little chick from the chorus is suddenly star of the show just because she married
01:17an angel, but that's show business, you know.
01:26Oh, I'm glad you could come.
01:49I reserved your seats for you, Third Row Center.
01:53I hope you enjoy the show.
02:03We were expecting you.
02:11The overture is just going on.
02:18Please follow me.
02:22Please follow me.
03:05And good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
03:07My name is Eddie Garr, and I'm to act as your master of ceremonies for this evening's performance.
03:11And I'm very happy to be here, very lucky to be here too.
03:15I had a little trouble outside with my car.
03:17Did you ever try to park a car in this neighborhood?
03:19I drove into a space.
03:21There's a big sign.
03:22No parking.
03:23Loading zone.
03:24I drove into another space.
03:25Another sign.
03:26No parking.
03:27Hospital zone.
03:28Finally, I found a space and no signs.
03:31I just parked the car in when a cop came along.
03:34He says, hey, you.
03:35When are you going to park it?
03:40It was a Harvard man.
03:43He says, no parking here.
03:44I said, I don't see any signs.
03:46He says, I know.
03:47Maybe he ain't found a reason yet.
03:49As I said before, I'm very happy to be back here on the stage.
03:51I've been out in Hollywood.
03:53You know, everybody who ever went to Hollywood went out to get in pictures, radio, television.
03:57A lot of them didn't make it.
03:58Now they're bartenders, waitresses, clerks, salesmen, all kinds of jobs.
04:02But they never give up hope of getting in pictures or radio or television.
04:06Consequently, every place you go in Hollywood, you'll find people acting.
04:10I went into a restaurant one afternoon.
04:12The waitress couldn't come over and say, what are you going to have?
04:14She had to act.
04:16She says, I'm so happy you came to our little restaurant.
04:22Would you like to look at our menu?
04:24We have roast beef with a gravy, oozing.
04:28Everybody acts out there.
04:30I went into a bakery shop.
04:31I picked up a cake.
04:33A fella came over.
04:34He says, all right, Louie, drop the bun.
04:38Everybody acts out there.
04:39But it's wonderful.
04:40But now, to get on to our show.
04:43We have a great show.
04:45First, I want you to see a great European novelty, the Diacops.
04:50The Diacops.
05:20The Diacops.
05:51The Diacops.
05:52The Diacops.
05:54Isn't that terrific?
06:21I'd like to let you in on a little secret.
06:23The lady who did the blindfold ride is 57 years old and also the mother of the other young lady.
06:34And now I want to call particular attention to the next trick.
06:37I want you to notice that there are only seven inches of space for the girls to pass each other as they go around the track.
06:44The Diacops.
06:45The Diacops.
06:46The Diacops.
06:47The Diacops.
06:48The Diacops.
06:49The Diacops.
06:50The Diacops.
06:51The Diacops.
06:52The Diacops.
06:53The Diacops.
06:54The Diacops.
06:55The Diacops.
06:56The Diacops.
06:57The Diacops.
06:58The Diacops.
06:59The Diacops.
07:00The Diacops.
07:01The Diacops.
07:02The Diacops.
07:03The Diacops.
07:04The Diacops.
07:05The Diacops.
07:06The Diacops.
07:07The Diacops.
07:08The Diacops.
07:09The Diacops.
07:10The Diacops.
07:11The Diacops.
07:13The Diacops.
07:15The Diacops.
07:17The Diacops.
07:20The Diacops.
07:22The Diacops.
07:24That was the Diacops, ladies and gentlemen.
07:26And now, I'd like you to see a great juggling act.
07:28And, if they make good here tonight, next week they go to Washington to balance the budget.
07:33And here they are, the Johnson brothers.
07:36The Johnson brothers from Washington.
07:40The Johnson Brothers from Washington.
07:42That's fine Lionel, now get a handful of those things, come down here and I'm going to teach
07:48you some of these tricks.
07:49All you do is throw them up in the air, spin them around, reach out and grab them by the
07:53handle.
07:54I have...
07:55No, no, no, not that way.
07:59Turn them around.
08:00Mine won't turn.
08:01What?
08:02Give a little twist like that.
08:03Just turn them right around, reach out and grab them.
08:04That's the idea, you got them going...
08:08What's wrong with that one?
08:09I can't find the handle.
08:10What?
08:11Turn that one around just a little more.
08:12A little more?
08:13Just get it over there.
08:14Ah, now I got them.
08:15That's dandy.
08:16And here's the next trick, Lionel.
08:17Two in one hand, one on the other.
08:18That's two on one side, one on the other side.
08:19Flair, two up, one down.
08:20Just follow me and I'll show you all these tricks, Flair.
08:21Two up, one down.
08:22All the way around.
08:23All the way around.
08:24That's number two, Lionel.
08:25All the way around.
08:26And number three is right through the leg.
08:27One leg, bend the other leg and lift up both legs, Lionel, all the way through there.
08:28Do them right in there.
08:29That's number three.
08:30All the way around.
08:31That's number three, Lionel.
08:32All the way around.
08:34I'll explain the next trick, Lionel.
08:35I think you better give them to me before you splatter them.
08:36All right, Professor.
08:37You can take them.
08:38Don't run away.
08:39I'll take them now.
08:40All right.
08:41You better give them back to me.
08:42I'll explain the next trick, Lionel.
08:43I think you better give them to me before you splatter them.
08:44All right, Professor.
08:45You can take them.
08:46Don't run away.
08:47I'll take them now.
08:48All right.
08:49You better give them back to me.
08:50I'll explain the next trick, Lionel.
08:51I think you better give them to me before you splatter them.
08:52All right, Professor.
08:53You can take them.
08:54Don't run away.
08:55I'll take them now.
08:56All right.
08:57You better give them back to me.
08:58Splatter them.
08:59All right, Professor.
09:00You can take them.
09:01Don't run away.
09:02I'll take them now.
09:03All right.
09:04You better give them back to me.
09:05All right.
09:06I won.
09:07Well, you can have them, Lionel.
09:08But I'll show you a trick here at the table.
09:09All right.
09:10All you have to do is put one on my head.
09:11Take it off.
09:12Put it on.
09:13Take it off.
09:14You get the idea.
09:15One on and one off.
09:16I'll do it the way you showed me out in the alley.
09:17The same way.
09:18You know.
09:19One on.
09:20Take one off.
09:21Take one on.
09:22Put one on.
09:23Take it on.
09:24No, no.
09:25Put them on and take them off.
09:27Eventually, I'll get them straightened down here.
09:29No, no.
09:30Not that way.
09:31Try it again, Lionel.
09:32You nearly have them.
09:33One on the head.
09:34I'll eventually get them.
09:35One on the head.
09:36I'll eventually get them.
09:37Now, now.
09:38Stop that.
09:39Now, watch the hat that I throw you.
09:40Well, we're going to mix them all up.
09:41All you have to do is keep your eye on that hat, Lionel.
09:43Hey, wait a second.
09:44What's the trouble?
09:45I'm getting them all over here.
09:46Now, like I said, over here.
09:47I'm taking them off of my head.
09:48You're not taking them off.
09:49I'm putting them on my head.
09:50You're putting them on my head.
09:51You're putting them on my head.
09:52You're putting them on my head.
09:54What are you doing now?
09:56I'm giving them the measure in now.
09:57Take one off the head?
09:58No, no.
10:00Take one off.
10:10Don't be afraid.
10:14Right there.
10:23Now, a star of the stage, screen, radio, television,
10:28should talk, has tux, and will travel.
10:30Jackie Coogan.
10:32As a young man...
10:32Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.
10:34It's awfully nice to see you.
10:35Just a minute, just a minute.
10:37I'm not through introducing you.
10:39Well, I heard you mention my name.
10:41Because I mentioned your name,
10:42doesn't give you any right to rush out on the stage
10:44like a wounded buffalo.
10:46Well, gee, I haven't worked in a long time,
10:48and when anybody mentions my name, I get out here,
10:50you know, they might close the theater.
10:52All right, now that you're out here,
10:54what are you gonna do?
10:55Well, I'd like to tell a joke.
10:56You see, I'm a comedian.
10:57You're a comedian?
10:58Yeah.
10:59All right, go ahead and comede.
11:01Well, you don't understand.
11:02I don't do single jokes.
11:04I do two-man jokes.
11:05Would you help me?
11:06Well, all right, what do I have to do?
11:07Well, I say to you, I just bought a dog,
11:09and you say to me, does your dog chase rats?
11:12And then I tell the funny punchline,
11:14and everybody laughs.
11:15They throw babies out of the balcony.
11:17We have a big...
11:18Wait a minute, wait, wait, wait.
11:19Is that all I have to say?
11:21Yeah, why?
11:23Well, it's not much to look forward to.
11:26Well, who cares about you?
11:28This is my act.
11:29Now, shall we do it?
11:30Well, all right, what do I do?
11:32Okay, ready?
11:33Yeah, I'm ready.
11:34I just bought a dog.
11:35How much you pay for him?
11:38You're supposed to say, does your dog chase rats?
11:41Well, start running and we'll find out.
11:43Is that the joke?
11:48Huh?
11:48I say, is that the joke?
11:50You're darn right it's the joke.
11:51That's my laugh.
11:53Well, you'll have to get a bigger laugh than that
11:54if you want to be a comedian.
11:56Well, I can get the biggest laugh
11:57you ever heard in a theater.
11:58You can?
11:59Well, we can use a big laugh right here, right now.
12:01Would you like it?
12:02I would like to have it right now.
12:04Would you like to have it right now?
12:05Right now.
12:05Well, here you go.
12:06Oh.
12:07Oh.
12:08Oh.
12:09Oh.
12:10Oh.
12:10Oh.
12:11Oh.
12:12Oh.
12:13Oh.
12:14Oh.
12:15Oh.
12:15Oh.
12:16Oh.
12:17Oh.
12:18Oh.
12:19Oh.
12:20It's a secret.
12:21Everybody in the show has a compartment to sleep on
12:25in the train, except me.
12:28I've got to sleep in an upper berth with him.
12:30And I want to tell you something about him.
12:33He dreams.
12:35Last night coming into town,
12:37he was dreaming that he was riding a bicycle,
12:40like this, with his feet in the upper berth.
12:43I didn't get any sleep at all,
12:45until just about 20 miles outside of town,
12:49he had a blowout.
12:50While Mr. Garr is in the shower,
12:54may I act as your master of ceremonies
12:55and present the next act?
12:57A wonderful musical treat.
12:59Jimmy and Mildred Mulcahy.
13:02♪
13:07♪
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15:22♪
15:27Ladies and gentlemen,
15:28you are now looking at the greatest trick dog in the world.
15:32This dog is so good at doing tricks
15:35that he will not do easy tricks.
15:37The bigger the tricks, the better he'll do them.
15:40Look at how anxious he is to get started.
15:42Look at that.
15:43Trick number one, a double back somersault.
15:46Watch it.
15:47Ready.
15:48Go.
15:49One.
15:50Go.
15:51Hey, boy, come on.
15:52Come here.
15:53Up.
15:54Come on.
15:55Up.
15:56It's too easy.
15:58Lay down.
15:59Lay down.
16:00Before you fall down.
16:01Dead dog.
16:03Lay down.
16:04Dead dog.
16:05You don't have to lay down.
16:06He's dead standing up.
16:07Look, right here.
16:09I want you to...
16:10Look at that trick.
16:11Did you see that?
16:12He moved.
16:14You're working a little too fast.
16:16Slow up a little.
16:17Yeah, wipe that silly grin off your face.
16:19I want you to lay down on the floor here.
16:22You know, I think the suit is too big for him.
16:24Look.
16:25He's expecting months.
16:27Stop talking and lay down, will you?
16:29I said have a relapse.
16:30Collapse.
16:31Dead dog.
16:32Lay down.
16:34You won't believe it.
16:35When I first got the dog, he couldn't do nothing.
16:39I taught him everything.
16:41Look, he's rehearsing a nervous breakdown.
16:43Look.
16:45And what a watchdog.
16:47There's a watchdog.
16:49Two weeks ago, a man came to rob my house.
16:51He watched him take everything.
16:54Go on and bark, will you?
16:56Isn't he cute?
16:57Bark.
16:58Come on, bark.
17:02That was me.
17:05And believe it or not, he loves music.
17:07High class music.
17:08The better the music, the better he loves it.
17:10Professor.
17:11Will you kindly play something that you think the dog would like?
17:13Something real nice.
17:26Well, he's tired.
17:27He's been breathing all day.
17:32Presenting Ormond McGill and his East Indian Miracles.
17:40Shhh.
18:10Shhh.
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21:34Well, I did. I used to do an act like that.
21:36I'll never forget one night I came out of the theater.
21:39There was a little fellow outside. He said,
21:40Hey, you're the fellow I saw inside doing the show.
21:43I said, that was me.
21:45He said, you're the fellow that fooled the people.
21:47I said, that was me.
21:48He said, you fooled me.
21:50I thought you were going to be good.
21:51Oh, but you might like my curtain again.
21:55I like that last trick. That's kind of amazing.
21:57I've got to look into that.
21:59We've got to, uh...
22:04I wonder if I could do that.
22:06Well, I'm going to try it anyway.
22:16Boyce and Evans and Betty Jane.
22:21Well, what are you bowing for, Fanny?
22:22You haven't done anything yet.
22:25I guess that's the ham in her.
22:34Well, you think you're pretty smart, don't you?
22:37Well, I know lots of horses that are smarter than you.
22:41Girls, would you bring on the tub, please?
22:44Now, don't go away.
22:51Now, Fanny, I want you to get up on this tub.
22:55Come on, now. Get up on the tub.
22:58Come on.
23:00Come on, now. Get up on the tub.
23:12Well, if you're going to jump, jump.
23:18Well, what's the matter with the rest of you?
23:21Oh, no. We'll have none of that.
23:23Now, you get up on that tub.
23:25Come on.
23:55Come on.
24:18Well, that's a fine position to get into.
24:20Now, how are you going to get out of that?
24:25Now, how are you going to get out of that?
24:27Now, how are you going to get out of that?
24:29Now, how are you going to get out of that?
24:31Now, how are you going to get out of that?
24:33Now, how are you going to get out of that?
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26:11Now, how are you going to get out of that?
26:13Now, how are you going to get out of that?
26:15Now, how are you going to get out of that?
26:17Now, how are you going to get out of that?
26:19Now, how are you going to get out of that?
26:21Now, how are you going to get out of that?
26:23Now, how are you going to get out of that?
26:25Now, how are you going to get out of that?
26:27Now, how are you going to get out of that?
26:29Now, how are you going to get out of that?
26:31Now, how are you going to get out of that?
26:33Now, how are you going to get out of that?
26:35Now, how are you going to get out of that?
26:37Now, how are you going to get out of that?
26:39Now, how are you going to get out of that?
26:41Now, how are you going to get out of that?
26:43Now, how are you going to get out of that?
26:45Now, how are you going to get out of that?
26:47Now, how are you going to get out of that?
26:49Now, how are you going to get out of that?
26:51Now, how are you going to get out of that?
26:53Now, how are you going to get out of that?
26:55Now, how are you going to get out of that?
26:57Now, how are you going to get out of that?
26:59Now, how are you going to get out of that?
27:01Now, how are you going to get out of that?
27:03Now, how are you going to get out of that?
27:05Now, how are you going to get out of that?
27:07Now, how are you going to get out of that?
27:09Now, how are you going to get out of that?
27:11Now, how are you going to get out of that?
27:13© BF-WATCH TV 2021
27:43♪
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29:03♪
29:05Okay, that was Paul Gordon, ladies and gentlemen.
29:08A loose nut on wheels.
29:09But he's a great guy, I've known him for years.
29:11Nothing he wouldn't do for me,
29:13nothing I wouldn't do for him.
29:14That's the way it's been for years.
29:15We haven't done a darn thing for each other.
29:18You know, every time I play this theater
29:19I have a lot of friends visit me backstage.
29:21And right now there's a fellow back there
29:23that's made a lot of pictures.
29:24I know you've seen him in a lot of great roles.
29:26I'm gonna bring him out.
29:27Let's give him a nice reception.
29:29♪
29:30I want you to meet Lyle Talbot.
29:32I've forgotten your names, but this is Lyle Talbot.
29:34Oh, how are you? Nice to see you.
29:36How are you, Lyle?
29:36Oh, fine.
29:37Fine. Every time I see you, you're smoking a cigarette.
29:40Yeah, well I have been smoking quite a lot lately, Eddie.
29:42See, I've been making a lot of pictures, fortunately,
29:44and it makes you sort of nervous.
29:45I really wish I could stop.
29:47Well, I've got just the doctor for you.
29:49You have? When can I see him?
29:50Right now.
29:51Now?
29:51Sure, this is vaudeville.
29:53The doctor's right back here.
29:54Well...
29:56Dr. Carroll, I want you to meet Lyle Talbot.
29:59I think you can help him.
30:00How do you do, Mr. Talbot? What's your trouble?
30:02Well, it seems that I've been smoking quite a lot lately, doctor,
30:04and I'd like to stop.
30:05Oh, well I'm sure I can help you.
30:07Oh, fine.
30:07Now, it won't be necessary for you to stop smoking entirely.
30:10No?
30:10There's a new brand of cigarettes on the market
30:12that all physicians are prescribing for their patients.
30:14We call it the eight-day cigarette.
30:15The eight-day cigarette? Why do you call it that?
30:18Well, that's a professional secret, but if you'd like to hear it...
30:20Yes, I would very much, doctor.
30:22Well, it was about eight years ago,
30:23eight scientists set out on an eight-day cruise.
30:25They charted an eight-masted schooner,
30:27and on the eighth day of the eighth month,
30:28they sighted eight islands.
30:30Now, they landed on these eight islands,
30:31and after about eight months more,
30:33they discovered eight different blends of tobacco.
30:35They took the eight different blends of tobacco,
30:36and they blended them all together.
30:38Now, because of the sequence of eights,
30:39they had run into...
30:40What are you doing?
30:42Are you hurting my finger?
30:43No, that's the latest thing in medical science.
30:45It's called the shock treatment.
30:46Shock treatment?
30:47Well, I'll be seeing you, Lyle.
30:48Where are you going?
30:49I'm going for an eight-day walk.
30:51That will be $10, please.
30:53$10? Well, that is a shock.
30:56Here you are, doctor.
30:56Oh, thank you.
30:58I beg your pardon, have you got a cigarette?
31:00Have I got a cigarette?
31:01I certainly have.
31:02As a matter of fact, this is the latest thing
31:04in medical science.
31:05Thanks.
31:06It's called an eight-day cigarette.
31:07That's a funny name.
31:08How did it get such a funny name?
31:09Well, you see, that's a professional secret.
31:11I wouldn't tell it to a human being,
31:12but I'll tell it to you.
31:14Thanks.
31:15Well, it seems that eight years ago,
31:17eight very prominent physicians sailed in eight ships,
31:20and they discovered in the Pacific
31:23Yeah, watch your language, please.
31:25Well, anyway, it seems that these doctors
31:26had eight seeds, tobacco seeds.
31:28They planted them on these eight islands.
31:30You know, you're going to like that cigarette.
31:32Yeah, once you get the thing lifted, it'll be all right.
31:34Well, anyway, these doctors planted these tobacco seeds,
31:36and they came up with eight of the finest blends of tobacco.
31:39You know, that cigarette isn't going to hurt you one bit.
31:41No, you just dislocate your sacroiliac.
31:43Right here, doctor.
31:44Well, anyway, after they discovered these eight tobaccos,
31:47these eight very fine...
31:48Say, wait a minute.
31:49What have you got, an asbestos finger?
31:52No, this is an eight-day match.
31:53♪
31:57Well, anything can happen in vaudeville.
31:59And now it's my privilege to introduce
32:03a fellow I think that you all know,
32:05Mr. Eddie Dean.
32:06♪
32:18♪ Oh, lazy moon
32:23♪ I'm a-banking on you tonight
32:29♪ Oh, lazy moon
32:33♪ Are you gonna be full and bright
32:39♪ To share your beams
32:44♪ On the girl of my dreams
32:49♪ You'll light a starry sky
32:53♪ And see that I
32:56♪ Hop the question by and by
32:59♪ Oh, lazy moon
33:04♪ I'll be holding her in my arms
33:09♪ Oh, lazy moon
33:14♪ I'll be telling her of her charms
33:19♪ You'll live forever
33:23♪ In our memories
33:29♪ If you'll only be there a-helping me
33:34♪ Oh, lazy moon
33:42♪
33:46♪
33:49Oh, that was swell.
33:50That was swell.
33:51That's a beautiful song, too.
33:52You like it, huh?
33:53Yeah, you know I sing.
33:54Is that right?
33:55In fact, I was singing that same song
33:57right here the other night.
33:58Where?
33:58♪ Oh, lazy moon
34:03The fellow in the front row started to cry.
34:05He did?
34:05Yep, I said,
34:06Brother, are you a westerner?
34:07He said, No, I'm a singer.
34:08Oh, get out of here.
34:09♪
34:14Just a minute, who are you?
34:16Well, I'm the Kookamong Kid.
34:18♪
34:19Hey, which way'd they go, Pard?
34:21That-a-way.
34:23I always get the same answer.
34:24Hey, that's quite a gun you got there.
34:26What kind is it?
34:27Well, this is a moving picture gun.
34:29It shoots 112 times without reloading.
34:32I'll tell you, you look up there
34:33with a mighty fine piece of singing you did there.
34:35Well, thank you, Jack.
34:36You know, in order to be a cowboy like you want to be,
34:38you got to learn to plunk a guitar and sing.
34:40Well, I can't plunk a guitar.
34:43Can you?
34:44Nary a plunk.
34:45♪
34:46Can you sing?
34:47No.
34:48♪
34:49Well, let's give it a try.
34:50♪
34:55♪ Where, oh, where is my darling?
34:59Where is my darling tonight?
35:03Where, oh, where is my darling?
35:06Where is my darling tonight?
35:10I went to the city to take in the sight.
35:13I happened to stop for a beer.
35:17A gal dropped her hanky and I picked it up.
35:21I made the mistake of the year.
35:25Where, oh, where is my darling?
35:29Where is my darling tonight?
35:32Where, oh, where is my darling?
35:36Where is my darling tonight?
35:40We strolled through the park with her holding my hand.
35:43She whispered to me with a sigh.
35:47I want you, my darling.
35:49I love only you.
35:51Oh, darling, please answer my cry.
35:55Where, oh, where is my darling?
35:59Where is my darling tonight?
36:02Where, oh, where is my darling?
36:06Where is my darling tonight?
36:10She's stolen my heart and my pocketbook, too.
36:14It's hard to believe it somehow.
36:17I'm sitting and fretting and wondering who's
36:21picking her hanky up now.
36:25Where, oh, where is my darling?
36:29Where is my darling tonight?
36:33Where, oh, where is my darling?
36:36Where is my darling tonight?
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38:21♪
38:47That's what you get for dancing with your wife.
38:49♪
38:53♪
38:55♪
38:59♪
39:14♪
39:34♪
39:54♪
40:07♪
40:17♪
40:37♪
40:59Now I have a little surprise for you.
41:01Backstage I have a friend visiting me,
41:03and I know that you know her.
41:04She's one of our better comedians in pictures,
41:06and I'd like to have you meet her,
41:07and give her a nice big reception when she comes out.
41:09Miss Iris Adrian.
41:11♪
41:14Hello, Eddie.
41:15Hello, Iris. How are you?
41:16I'm awfully glad to see you.
41:17I'm glad to see you, too.
41:18What are you doing now?
41:19All the same as you are, trying to get laughs.
41:22Yeah, it gets tiresome, doesn't it?
41:23Yeah, it does a little.
41:25I'd like to do something different.
41:26You know, a romantic role.
41:28A love scene with one of those handsome actors.
41:31Gee, I'd like to do that just once.
41:32Well, your worries are over.
41:34I have just the man for you.
41:35A great lover.
41:36Now, turn around.
41:37I'll give you a little surprise.
41:38Hey, Jackie.
41:40Yes, Eddie.
41:41Iris, meet Jackie Coogan.
41:43Iris Adrian.
41:44How do you do, Iris?
41:45Very glad to see you.
41:46Hello, Jack.
41:47Eddie, pardon me.
41:48He's not the type.
41:50It's the best I could do on such short notice.
41:52I'll be seeing you.
41:53Oh, Eddie.
41:54You're on your own, kids.
41:56Well, what's the matter?
41:57Won't I do?
41:58Well, Jackie, I like you very much,
42:01but you're just not the type, that's all.
42:04Well, what do you have in mind?
42:06Oh, you know, the type of an actor
42:08that all those beautiful women make love to on the screen.
42:11You know the type.
42:12You know something?
42:13I'm foolish.
42:14Back there in my dressing room
42:15was one of the greatest lovers in screen history.
42:17Really?
42:18Yeah.
42:19Who?
42:20Tom Neal.
42:21Tom Neal?
42:22Yeah.
42:23Well, I bet you don't even know Tom Neal.
42:24You're kidding.
42:25Come here.
42:26Tom is one of my oldest friends.
42:27Here he is now.
42:28Hello, Jack.
42:29Hello, Tom.
42:30Tom Neal?
42:31Huh?
42:32You're kidding.
42:33I haven't even introduced you two yet.
42:34Well, I'm ready.
42:35And when I'm ready, I'm ready.
42:37Tom Neal!
42:38Well, now, just a minute.
42:39You're way ahead of me.
42:40Ahead of you?
42:41I'm home already.
42:43Oh, you're wonderful.
42:44You're beautiful.
42:45You're the world to me.
42:46The whole world.
42:48Well, stop touring the world.
42:49I'm a little ticklish around Tucumcari.
42:53How do you like that for acting?
42:55Pretty bad.
42:57Come here.
43:00What do you mean, it's pretty bad?
43:01Well, what do you mean coming out here and making love to a fellow you never even met before?
43:06What do I mean?
43:08I made a little time.
43:14Made a little time, eh?
43:20Now, ladies and gentlemen, it becomes my pleasure to introduce a great act.
43:24Harrison, Carol, and Ross.
43:26You all right?
43:36Good.
43:37Let's play.
43:56Let's play.
44:16Let's play.
44:36Let's play.
44:56Let's play.
45:15Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.
45:17At this time, we'd like to try something a little bit different.
45:19Here is a bit that I do.
45:21What?
45:50Let's try it.
46:20Let's try it.
46:49And now we'd like to turn back the pages of your memory
46:53and bring you a scene from one of the greatest silent pictures of all time.
47:00And now we'd like to turn back the pages of your memory
47:04and bring you a scene from one of the greatest silent pictures of all time.
47:08And now we'd like to turn back the pages of your memory
47:23and bring you a scene from one of the greatest silent pictures of all time.
47:25And now we'd like to turn back the pages of your memory
47:28and bring you a scene from one of the greatest silent pictures of all time.
47:30And now we'd like to turn back the pages of your memory
47:32and bring you a scene from one of the greatest silent pictures of all time.
47:34And now we'd like to turn back the pages of your memory
47:36and bring you a scene from one of the greatest silent pictures of all time.
47:38And now we'd like to turn back the pages of your memory
47:40and bring you a scene from one of the greatest silent pictures of all time.
47:42And now we'd like to turn back the pages of your memory
47:44and bring you a scene from one of the greatest silent pictures of all time.
47:47Whistle
47:49Whistle
47:58Whistle
48:06Whistle
48:15Whistle
48:19Whistle
48:49Whistle
49:19Whistle
49:21Whistle
49:23Whistle
49:25Whistle
49:27Whistle
49:29Whistle
49:31Whistle
49:33Whistle
49:35Whistle
49:37Whistle
49:39Whistle
49:43Whistle
49:45Whistle
49:47Whistle
49:49Whistle
49:51Whistle
49:53Whistle
49:55Whistle
49:57Whistle
49:59Whistle
50:01Whistle
50:03Whistle
50:05Whistle
50:07Whistle
50:09Whistle
50:11Whistle
50:13Whistle
50:15♪
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