How can women talk about STIs and getting Tested? Kate McCombs from , Ashley Manta from and Cathy Vartuli from share tips and their experiences.
Cathy: Hey, everyone. Were talking about STDs and getting tested. We know that as women, theres a lot of stigma around that. Wed like to discuss our views and share different ways to make it more comfortable. Would you like to introduce us?
Ashley: Sure. Im Ashley Manta from , and this is Kate McCombs from , and Cathy Vartuli from .
Cathy: Were glad youre here with us. I know when I first got tested, it was many years ago, and I was so embarrassed. My boyfriend had cheated on me and I needed to find out if I had anything . if I contracted anything through him. I was so nervous to talk to the doctor. While he was professional, it wasnt very encouraging or welcoming. There was a lot of . I perceived it as shaming. It could have not been, but kind of like why nice women would have to get tested. If I was a good girl, I wouldnt have that problem.
Kate: I think in my experience with a lot of medical doctors and anyone in the medical field, theyre uncomfortable talking about STIs or sexual-health related things in general. Its often such a . you can visibly see their discomfort. Theres been wonderful exceptions to that, but more often than not, theyre reinforcing the stigma just simply with the attitude and the approach they have to the interaction.
Cathy: They dont get a lot of sex education. Most doctors are not that educated. Ive had them tell me things about my anatomy that I know arent true. The G-spot doesnt really exist. Oh, really? I could have sworn it was there last night.
What are your experiences?
Ashley: Well, a couple of years ago, I was actually diagnosed with herpes. My health care professional that diagnosed me was really like, I have terrible news. Im so sorry to be the one to tell you this. That kind of set the stage for me of being, Oh my gosh! What is it? Is it horrible? Whats wrong with me? And it turned out to be herpes, which although a lifelong thing that I will have to live with, is not something terrible. Its just another part of who I am. If I had chronic allergies, Im going to have those for the rest of my life, but its not stigmatized the way herpes is.
Cathy: We were talking earlier, I think it was the 1950s. Before the 1950s, herpes was not a known problem.
Ashley: Right.
Cathy: They found a drug that helped reduce it, and then media got in the way and started saying what
Ashley: . created the stigma.
Cathy: created the shame, and Oh my God, this is horrible. You could give it to your partner kind of thing.
Kate: The reality is that there are a lot of things you can do when you . if you have herpes, preventing your partners from getting it.
Ashley: Absolutely. My partner still doesnt have it. Weve been together almost two years.
Kate: Theres a huge space I think for education is for how to manage these things and . I think that just highlights just the lack of conversations that are happening at all about . meaningful conversations about STIs. Most of the messaging people get is entirely fear-based.
Ashley: It is.
Cathy: If your partner will ask you to get tested, a lot of people would be insulted or ashamed. A lot of women I know have told me how upset they were that their partner had asked them to go and get tested together. But to me, its a loving act. If I . If someone . If we both get tested, were both relaxed. We can be more intimate in our relationship. Its not indicating that they think youre dirty or unclean . and people do use the word clean to describe not having STDs. I have seen you shower. You look perfectly clean.
Cathy: Hey, everyone. Were talking about STDs and getting tested. We know that as women, theres a lot of stigma around that. Wed like to discuss our views and share different ways to make it more comfortable. Would you like to introduce us?
Ashley: Sure. Im Ashley Manta from , and this is Kate McCombs from , and Cathy Vartuli from .
Cathy: Were glad youre here with us. I know when I first got tested, it was many years ago, and I was so embarrassed. My boyfriend had cheated on me and I needed to find out if I had anything . if I contracted anything through him. I was so nervous to talk to the doctor. While he was professional, it wasnt very encouraging or welcoming. There was a lot of . I perceived it as shaming. It could have not been, but kind of like why nice women would have to get tested. If I was a good girl, I wouldnt have that problem.
Kate: I think in my experience with a lot of medical doctors and anyone in the medical field, theyre uncomfortable talking about STIs or sexual-health related things in general. Its often such a . you can visibly see their discomfort. Theres been wonderful exceptions to that, but more often than not, theyre reinforcing the stigma just simply with the attitude and the approach they have to the interaction.
Cathy: They dont get a lot of sex education. Most doctors are not that educated. Ive had them tell me things about my anatomy that I know arent true. The G-spot doesnt really exist. Oh, really? I could have sworn it was there last night.
What are your experiences?
Ashley: Well, a couple of years ago, I was actually diagnosed with herpes. My health care professional that diagnosed me was really like, I have terrible news. Im so sorry to be the one to tell you this. That kind of set the stage for me of being, Oh my gosh! What is it? Is it horrible? Whats wrong with me? And it turned out to be herpes, which although a lifelong thing that I will have to live with, is not something terrible. Its just another part of who I am. If I had chronic allergies, Im going to have those for the rest of my life, but its not stigmatized the way herpes is.
Cathy: We were talking earlier, I think it was the 1950s. Before the 1950s, herpes was not a known problem.
Ashley: Right.
Cathy: They found a drug that helped reduce it, and then media got in the way and started saying what
Ashley: . created the stigma.
Cathy: created the shame, and Oh my God, this is horrible. You could give it to your partner kind of thing.
Kate: The reality is that there are a lot of things you can do when you . if you have herpes, preventing your partners from getting it.
Ashley: Absolutely. My partner still doesnt have it. Weve been together almost two years.
Kate: Theres a huge space I think for education is for how to manage these things and . I think that just highlights just the lack of conversations that are happening at all about . meaningful conversations about STIs. Most of the messaging people get is entirely fear-based.
Ashley: It is.
Cathy: If your partner will ask you to get tested, a lot of people would be insulted or ashamed. A lot of women I know have told me how upset they were that their partner had asked them to go and get tested together. But to me, its a loving act. If I . If someone . If we both get tested, were both relaxed. We can be more intimate in our relationship. Its not indicating that they think youre dirty or unclean . and people do use the word clean to describe not having STDs. I have seen you shower. You look perfectly clean.
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