Mr Doovdé asking for the phone number for Buzum.
Terry Tibbs enquiring about a brass sculpture. The lady he is talking to is not selling the sculpture and only put the advert up, Terry then asks if she's taking 20 percent of the takings from the buyer, only for her to say she isn't then Terry asks if she's taking 10, with her also denying this, in reply Terry says "You're doing this all wrong!". Later on the lady says she'll get back to him after speaking to the artist who is selling the sculpture, but Terry says "You don't get back to Terry Tibbs, Terry Tibbs gets back to you!". At the end of the call Terry says "Love ya!", with the lady replying with "Love you too Terry!".
Fonejacker calls a mobile phone (supposedly belonging to a waiter) that has been left in a street cleaner's dustcart. Street cleaner picks up and Fonejacker pretends to be restaurant boss and asks why he is late for work.
Stanley ringing a model shop, enquiring about Hornby figures. Starting off with train drivers, he also asks if they do "the depressed man who steps in front of a twain", "the two homeless men drinking lager in the carriages who you hope get off at the next station but never do", "the gypsies playing the accordion and getting into a fight with the passengers" and "the old man who misses the red light at a level crossing and gets hit by the twain".
Dufrais Constantinople ringing about having an electric fence installed to "keep out his neighbours".
George Agdgdgwngo ringing from "ITV 1's Britain Has Got Very Much Talent". He asks a woman for passport & bank statements so that he can verify her identify, in order for her to watch the show live and have a "tea and a hot beverage" with Ant & Dec.
Fonejacker calls a butcher's shop enquiring about prices of various products, and pretending to be interrupted by another call, makes customer announcements over a megaphone about the lower prices at Morrisons for those products.
The Chinese DVD gang call an accountant enquiring whether they need to pay tax on their pirate DVDs. It is revealed in this segment that the leader of the gang is called Charlie Wong.
Barry Childs trying to book a magic act. Initially the act sounds keen and says he is free on the proposed date, until he learns that his close contact magic will be likely to provoke a violent response from the offenders, and that several previous bookings (including clown) were assaulted, after which the act politely declines while Barry says he "has already printed the posters" so he has to come, but still declines.
Fonejacker TV Phone-in competition. Calls charged at £10.50 per minute. Competition entrants have no chance of winning anything. This is a possible reference to ITV Play late-night call-in shows where very little people actually get through to the show. At peak times callers had a 1 in 8500 chance of getting through to the studio to play but were still charged regardless ("Just dial this number, pay this price and get fuck all! It's called telly. Get
Terry Tibbs enquiring about a brass sculpture. The lady he is talking to is not selling the sculpture and only put the advert up, Terry then asks if she's taking 20 percent of the takings from the buyer, only for her to say she isn't then Terry asks if she's taking 10, with her also denying this, in reply Terry says "You're doing this all wrong!". Later on the lady says she'll get back to him after speaking to the artist who is selling the sculpture, but Terry says "You don't get back to Terry Tibbs, Terry Tibbs gets back to you!". At the end of the call Terry says "Love ya!", with the lady replying with "Love you too Terry!".
Fonejacker calls a mobile phone (supposedly belonging to a waiter) that has been left in a street cleaner's dustcart. Street cleaner picks up and Fonejacker pretends to be restaurant boss and asks why he is late for work.
Stanley ringing a model shop, enquiring about Hornby figures. Starting off with train drivers, he also asks if they do "the depressed man who steps in front of a twain", "the two homeless men drinking lager in the carriages who you hope get off at the next station but never do", "the gypsies playing the accordion and getting into a fight with the passengers" and "the old man who misses the red light at a level crossing and gets hit by the twain".
Dufrais Constantinople ringing about having an electric fence installed to "keep out his neighbours".
George Agdgdgwngo ringing from "ITV 1's Britain Has Got Very Much Talent". He asks a woman for passport & bank statements so that he can verify her identify, in order for her to watch the show live and have a "tea and a hot beverage" with Ant & Dec.
Fonejacker calls a butcher's shop enquiring about prices of various products, and pretending to be interrupted by another call, makes customer announcements over a megaphone about the lower prices at Morrisons for those products.
The Chinese DVD gang call an accountant enquiring whether they need to pay tax on their pirate DVDs. It is revealed in this segment that the leader of the gang is called Charlie Wong.
Barry Childs trying to book a magic act. Initially the act sounds keen and says he is free on the proposed date, until he learns that his close contact magic will be likely to provoke a violent response from the offenders, and that several previous bookings (including clown) were assaulted, after which the act politely declines while Barry says he "has already printed the posters" so he has to come, but still declines.
Fonejacker TV Phone-in competition. Calls charged at £10.50 per minute. Competition entrants have no chance of winning anything. This is a possible reference to ITV Play late-night call-in shows where very little people actually get through to the show. At peak times callers had a 1 in 8500 chance of getting through to the studio to play but were still charged regardless ("Just dial this number, pay this price and get fuck all! It's called telly. Get
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TV