Dave & Chuck the Freak ask listeners to call-in and share some of their most awkward moments.
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00:00all right here's a question for you what moment is weirdly awkward for you these are some moments
00:08that are weirdly awkward for everyone still my most awkward moment i've had you know as you guys
00:13know many many many awkward moments my most awkward moment was when i kissed the dean
00:18as she was giving me my diploma after my speech at graduation you can't kiss a dean on the mouth
00:25i don't female dean yeah still like an older lady it was totally unexpected the crowd went wild
00:31because they thought it was like planned right exactly like i was like you frenched her so no i
00:36did not french her it's so i don't even know honestly in my mind i'm like i walked out the
00:41stage going what did you do like i was asking myself what i what did you just do you just kissed
00:46her okay so here's the thing if your brain is just in that it's a celebration it's a celebratory
00:53it's a big moment and you might just default go to that and then next thing you know you're
00:59frenching a dean i was not frenching her but i did kiss her full on the lips yeah she's like wow
01:07no she was upset thank you because she thought i did it as a joke too so it went from like
01:11congratulations dave amazing to like you a-hole right the whole thing but take it back
01:18but i was just i had just done like the valedictorian speech and i was like so relieved it was over
01:24because i had stressed about it for weeks so that like i had this like excitement going on
01:29and that led to making out with the dean yeah um someone said i'm a big swearer
01:36so when i go to a doctor's or dentist appointment i get up off the table or chair there's usually a huge
01:41sweater sweater okay yeah my bad um when i get up off the table or chair there's usually a huge
01:48sweat mark either from my swamp ass or my hands oh you sweat that much from your ass
01:54you gotta like he's gotta wear like double underpants or something something you've gotta
02:00take your own precautions you're right if i'm gonna if i'm leaving us like an ass mark on your seat
02:07i've got it's on me dude i can't even imagine how embarrassed that would be if i left a sweaty
02:12ass stain on the seat at the dentist office i'm already anxious just to be there oh yeah you
02:16well you'd never go again yeah that'd be it that would just rot right out of my mouth
02:20because i'd never go back like maybe it's even gross there but yeah i've definitely seen it at the gym
02:25oh yeah that's all the gym yeah yeah well like some people are working out don't white like oh
02:31yes if your ass sweats on a workbench but my crotch is like a greenhouse when i'm working out
02:37what's it growing it's fungus oh my god brian
02:43hi brian hey what's your awkward moment you want to share all right so when i was about 1920 years old
02:52i was still a virgin and a buddy of mine was tired of that and without telling me or letting me know
02:58he decided to get me a hooker when i showed up for the arrangement because i didn't even know this was
03:03going on they were both in the bed waiting for me what i'm like what what no hold on hold on your
03:11guy got you a hooker but also for himself right he he was thinking we would share her and i'm like
03:19dude no no you left what'd you do oh yes i left i left because um he wanted to instruct me the proper
03:29way oh my god
03:31can you imagine chuck gets me a hooker and then he's like dave little to the left yeah get in
03:36spanker dave your buddy's a sicko yeah i think he wanted to yeah your buddy wanted you yep
03:44hey let me help i'll just coach you yeah yeah let me grab it oh my god i'll help you put it in
03:54exactly oh it slipped in me james is in detroit james what was your awkward moment you want to
04:01share some friends and uh and me were celebrating a friend's birthday it was his 19th birthday so we
04:07wanted to go to canada you know you go see the naked chicks over there whatever so we told the
04:11ladies in there that it was his birthday and we want to do something special for him but we didn't
04:14know what no no so yeah they came up with an idea to bring him up on stage and uh put a chair up there
04:21and you know sort of do a dance for him on stage and i imagine there's a couple hundred people in
04:26the place it was pretty crowded so yeah uh they went ahead and uh started to drop his trial there
04:33and uh yeah it was uh it was a nightmare for him it was a very very embarrassing situation for him
04:40and uh his phallus uh acknowledged the situation it was extremely tiny and they were they were pulling
04:46on it oh my god oh my god they were pulling on it like it was uh i don't know like a little mouse
04:53the chick took her took her fingernail and she flicked the head of it like to try to say that to
05:00kickstart the thing yeah and uh and it didn't help at all so uh everyone started to boo and uh the
05:07chicks gave him a hug they felt bad and uh they gave him a kiss he got a kiss on the mouth by the
05:12way which uh i wouldn't have uh sanctioned that oh my god oh my god so he got herpes and the whole time
05:18his pants are around his ankles the whole time you know we're talking like less than an inch oh my god
05:23i mean not only was i embarrassed but i mean the whole crowd was just rolling laughing you know
05:28i mean it was horrible they're calling him pimple dick oh you know pimple dick pimple oh my god
05:35they chanted they chanted yeah is he still with us yeah no he's not around anymore uh his name was
05:41jeff i remember he's a good kid but like he's alive though it was horrible is he alive yeah yeah
05:48he's alive he's just yeah he's not a part of the group anymore after that he sort of just went
05:52his own way you have to do that he went his own way yeah you have to living in northern canada
05:57somewhere just living in a hut if i would have strippers pull my pants down in front of everybody
06:02and nothing worked they couldn't flick it i'd go right to alaska right you go right to alaska
06:08uh jess jessa uh yeah how you doing good how are you good you had a really awkward moment
06:16a little bit yeah what was it so i was going to school in royal oak and there was a um uneven
06:25sidewalk and i tripped and fell and my pants fell down um like past my butt and there was a guy
06:33sitting at the parking meter in his van and he saw everything and came out to help me and i said um
06:42no no thank you um no thank you no thank you and his he was helping me like clean up the my papers
06:50and i'm trying to get my pants up and stand up and i sprained my ankle and it was just absolutely
06:55mortifying that's awful private question but what were you wearing underneath
07:00um nothing oh my god oh my god baggy jeans oh my god baggy jeans no underpants
07:10oh boy that's how i roll wow that'll get you though girl that'll get you yeah yep all right
07:17jess thanks for calling in imagine offering someone help they're like no no no no she broke her ankle
07:23oh i just oh no underpants yeah am i a bad person if i see a woman fall on her pants are down and i
07:31don't help because i don't want to be involved i don't think i would yeah i'd be like i'm gonna sit
07:38if her ass is out or her beaver's on display there's nothing you can do in that situation
07:42well sorry about your ankle but your ass is out lady yeah she's on her own maybe you just hang
07:50back and scream out pull your pants up and then i will help you hey your beaver's exposed
07:58trim that beef up i'll come over and give me a hand oh my god oh my god you're not gonna be able
08:04to trim it no uh that's a bad day you know i have tremors well i know that's a bad day in her life
08:10though you never know what do you think i'm doing in the van trimming my own pew on that note we'll
08:15take a quick break and when we
08:16take a quick break and when we
08:16take a quick break and when we
08:16take a quick break and when we
08:16take a quick break and when we
08:16take a quick break and when we
08:16take a quick break and when we
08:17take a quick break and when we
08:17take a quick break and when we
08:17take a quick break and when we
08:17take a quick break and when we
08:17take a quick break and when we
08:17take a quick break and when we
08:17take a quick break and when we
08:17take a quick break and when we
08:18take a quick break and when we
08:19take a quick break and when we
08:19take a quick break and when we
08:19take a quick break and when we
08:20take a quick break and when we
08:20take a quick break and when we